Moonlit
by StormDragonfly
Summary: When Bella returns to the town she hasn't lived in since she was eight, she's intrigued by the Cullens more than she realizes. As she matures and starts to consider the weight of choice and morals, she realizes there is one man who's always there for her.
1. Chapter 1

_"The sun and moon are lamps of incomparably beautiful light." __~Sri Guru Granth Sahib_

_"Let us, then, be up and doing,_

_with a heart for any fate;_

_still achieving, still pursuing,_

_learn to labor and to wait." __~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow_

"Moonlit"

~*~ Chapter One ~*~

It was a wet March when Bella Swan arrived back at her father's home in Forks, Washington. The recent rain gave everything a luster of gray, turning the verdant rural scenery into a mockery of depression. The wet monochrome couldn't be more of a contrast to what Bella was used to in her previous home in Arizona. Bella sighed, looking out of the window on the passenger side of her father's police cruiser. She knew that her emotions were coloring her thoughts.

Coming back to Forks, the home where she lived the first eight years of her life, had been her own idea. Yet leaving the blue-skied and red burnt landscape of Phoenix with its silver skyscrapers was not easy. She was doing it for her mother, who finally had something permanent in her life that was good for her. Her new husband, Phil, would treat her well and look after her. Bella was just in the way, preventing her mother from being able to join Phil as he traveled with the Minor League.

"Do you remember Billy Black?" Charlie's voice called her attention back into the car. Even though she'd lived with her father for almost the first decade of her life, the last nine years had brought Bella to think of him as "Charlie" in her head. "You used to play with his kids on La Push."

"I remember. Why do you ask?"

Charlie's attention remained focused on the road. "Ever since he's been in a wheelchair he hasn't been able to drive his truck. So he sold it to me cheap."

It took a moment for the thought to sink in. "You bought me Billy's old truck?" Bella asked.

"Billy and his son Jacob have both done a lot of work on the engine. It runs great. They don't build them like that anymore. You'll see in just a minute."

Bella did see. The clouds were thinning slightly by the time they pulled up to her father's house, her old house and new house again. Parked in the driveway sat a truck Bella had only been able to vaguely recall. The red was faded and though it was small compared to the trucks leaving the manufacturing belt these days, large fenders and a round cab space gave it the impression of being huge. It was one of those solid vehicles that somehow managed to remain intact after an accident that left expensive sports cars in pieces.

It was awesome.

"Wow, Dad, I love it! Thanks!"

The truck wasn't alone in the driveway. Both Black men were waiting for the Swans to arrive, their handicap vehicle parked parallel to the road. Jacob, a boy of about fifteen, had been shifting his weight from foot to foot as he stood behind his father's wheelchair. He looked up when he recognized the cruiser pulling alongside him. Billy, a handsome older Native American, had a big smile on his face.

"Bella!" he called to her in a somewhat long drawl as she stepped out of the passenger seat. His voice carried hints of timeless secrets and birds flying high above the trees. It gave Bella a warm rush of familiarity.

"Billy." The one word greeting contained more than her smile; it was all fondness for a man she once knew as a child. It might have been awkward to bend over to hug him in the wheelchair, but Bella managed it without making her or Billy feel self-conscious about his change of health since they'd last spoken. Internally, Bella wished such a thing had never happened to him. "Thanks for the truck. I've been saving up to buy one when I got here, so I'd be happy to help pay you a little extra."

"Bella," Charlie protested, but Billy waved them both off.

"Not a worry, girl. That tank will keep you safe. Anything goes wrong, you can call on us. Jake here is almost as good a mechanic as I am."

The nervous boy stepped forward and held out his hand. "Nice to see you again, Bella." Shifting her attention to the son, Bella took his hand and tried not to grin too widely. Jacob was obviously trying to come off as mature.

"Hi, again, Jacob." Bella tried to put him a little more at ease. "You worked on fixing up the engine?"

Jacob smiled. His teeth shone especially white against the russet color of his skin and the long black of his hair. He was fairly pretty, for a boy of fifteen. "You bet. Just don't ever go more than sixty and you'll be fine."

From out of the trunk, Charlie had grabbed the final two of Bella's bags. Her carry-on dangled from the thick strap around her shoulder. "I'll take these inside, Bells. You and Jake can meet me and Billy there once he's done showing off."

Jacob rolled his eyes at Charlie, but he was grinning. Once the men disappeared into the yellow two-bedroom house, Jacob was hopping with excitement, forgetting all pretense at pretending he was older than she was. "I was psyched when Dad told me Charlie was buying you this truck. Now that this one is gone, I can start building my own car. I've got a VW Rabbit I've had my eye on, and I can fix it up by the time I've got my license, I'm pretty sure."

"Wow." Bella was suitably impressed. She certainly couldn't have done that when she was fifteen.

"Yeah," Jacob grinned at her again, white teeth flashing charmingly. "C'mon, hop in and I'll show you how to run this thing." He swung open the driver's side cab door.

That was how Bella ended up in the emergency room at Forks Hospital before she entered into her own house. Bella turned towards the truck just as Jacob was opening the door, and she took the full strength of the swing on her right temple. The wet landscape of her father's property flashed with dots of bright light and she was on the ground.

**(~*~)**

The advantage of having the police chief as your father when you're accident-prone was the quickness with which sirens could leave your driveway and escort you into town. Of course, with Forks, there wasn't nearly as much traffic as there would have been in Phoenix, so the sirens were mostly unnecessary. In fact, they were embarrassingly over the top. Bella looked under her eyes at her father from where her head lay pressed against the passenger window, mortified at the tale of her re-entry into town that would quickly circulate.

"Dad, is this really necessary?"

Her father didn't even turn. "How many heads do I have, Bella?"

Bella groaned, and didn't answer. Truthfully, she saw only one head when she squinted at her father, but it had a shadowy afterimage that shouldn't be there. Charlie took her lack of response as proof that he'd made his point.

Bella was put into a wheelchair and rolled into the emergency room by a nurse whose nametag read "Diana" while Charlie filled out insurance information at the registration desk. The emergency room wasn't a separate wing with private exam rooms, but one long open space with a row of beds separated by curtains on chains that could curve round the whole bed if needed. At the moment no one else was in it, for which Bella was grateful. She didn't want to have to share her clumsiness with anyone other than the nurse and doctor that had to examine her.

After the nurse had helped Bella move from the chair to the bed, she got out a clipboard and took Bella's heart rate and blood pressure. Then she cut straight to the chase.

"Isabella, have you had anything alcoholic to drink today?"

"No," Bella sighed her answer, used to the usual questions to check her status upon admittance. "I don't drink, and I've been with my father since he picked me up at the airport."

"Any drugs, something before your father picked you up, perhaps?" The nurse's voice was bland, but Bella resented the implication of her last words.

"What? No." Her offense must have come across as genuine, for the nurse just nodded and checked her clipboard, easily moving on through the rest. She was short and brunette, her bob of a haircut clipped in the back. Purple latex gloves that somehow managed to match her flowered scrubs clung to her hands in ridges as they moved along the clipboard.

"Can you tell me what happened?"

"Yes. I walked into the path of a swinging car door. Accidentally."

"And what happened next?" Scribble on the clipboard.

"I fell onto the ground."

"Did you lose consciousness?" Scribble, scribble.

"No, but I felt jarred."

This time the nurse looked up. "Jarred how?" she pressed. The eyes were more kindly now, and her face was more welcoming than Bella had noticed yet. Of course, maybe the dark blob overlapping it had hidden the gentleness there before, and Bella had simply let the tone of voice dictate the woman's personality.

Bella attempted to shrug, but couldn't complete the motion for the dizziness it gave her. "My senses were kind of focused on the contact of car hits head, body hits ground. I saw bright dots." Bella added after a second.

Now she really had the nurse's attention. "Do you see them still?"

"No," Bella shook her head. "But I do have some sort of shadowy image everywhere I look."

"Afterimage?"

"No, more like a blob."

"Does it follow your eyes, or stay to one side as you look around?"

Bella looked across the room from left to right to confirm her answer before she gave it. "It follows the center of where I look."

"Uh-huh." The nurse was scratching her pen along the clipboard again. The ink on the ballpoint must have been drying out. "Does it leave a trail as it follows, like floaters?"

Bella scrunched her face at the nurse. "I don't know what you mean by floaters."

"That's alright," the nurse said, dismissing her own questions. Her eyes were caught on something behind Bella, before she stood to walk past her. Slowly Bella turned around to see what the nurse was doing. Probably the doctor had come in.

Her jaw dropped. She might not be able to see clearly through the tunnel-like blob, but she knew that she was seeing a man unlike any she'd ever laid eyes on before. He was young for a doctor, blond, and ridiculously handsome. From what Bella could make from the short distance, his skin was pale and she imagined his eyes would be a bright blue that matched the beauty of the rest of his features. He took the clipboard from the nurse as she leaned in and spoke to him quietly. Nodding to her, he looked over the notes she had made. "Thank you, Diana," he said before turning and walking towards Bella. His voice was remarkably appealing, comforting as a doctor's voice should be, yet also somewhat stimulating.

As he moved closer Bella was able to see his features more clearly, and she was surprised that their perfection didn't diminish in the least. She'd expected, like moving closer to a picture or painting, that picking up on more minute details would remove the unblemished impression you got from distance. She did notice more as the doctor stopped by the bed. He was pale, almost too pale, and the set of his face gave the impression of being tired. If it weren't for the empty ER Bella might say that he was overworked. His eyes were what really startled her. They weren't blue like she'd expected, but they were bright. Bright _gold_. Yet, the kind of gold that held an earthy, rusted feel. How his eyes managed to be both bright and earthy escaped Bella, but there it was.

"Hello, Miss Swan. I'm Dr. Cullen."

"Hello," Bella answered politely and gave an ever so slight nod of her head. The doctor seemed to notice her caution as he pulled a stool on wheels over towards the bed for him to sit on.

"I understand that you received a blow to the head. Can you tell me how it happened?"

Bella inhaled through her nose to ready herself for the retelling of the tale. _Doctors_, she thought exasperatedly, even as she noticed an enticing smell, musky and sweet. She went over what had happened step-by-step twice with the doctor. She knew he was checking her memory as well as making sure he understood every detail of the incident. It might have bothered her if she wasn't so used to it, but there was something so soothing about the young doctor with his golden eyes that it seemed almost impossible to be upset around him. He certainly didn't make her feel irritated like the nurse had, never mind like a fool for being such a klutz.

Dr. Cullen put on a pair of those purple medical gloves. "I'm going to touch your head now to feel for bruising and swelling."

Bella held herself still while he leaned in and put his hands on the hair on either side of her head. She had told him where the door had hit, but she supposed that hadn't mattered. His fingers seemed a touch cool, even through the gloves and her hair. The scent of him that she had caught earlier wafted towards her nose even more strongly. It made her think of crisp pages in a well-loved book, of mulled cider and nighttime air. If his hands hadn't been holding her head she might have leaned in towards that scent unthinkingly. Bella flushed at the realization, but suppressed the feeling within her so that the color was only slight on her face.

Dr. Cullen leaned back and away from her, face merely showing concentration, his left hand falling back down to his side. His right hand stayed raised, one finger lifted.

"Please keep your eyes on my forefinger, Isabella, without moving your head."

"Bella," Bella corrected automatically as she instantly obeyed. She wasn't sure if she tracked it too well, considering the dark shadow in the center of her vision. The doctor dropped his finger and pushed away from her again, standing up.

"Can you stand up, now?" He asked gently. Bella didn't give a nod first this time; she simply got to her feet. She didn't exactly hop up off the hospital bed, but she did get steadily to her feet, no problems.

"Now hold your arms out. Good. I'm going to ask you to touch your finger to your nose, one hand at a time."

Two not so polite thoughts crossed Bella's mind simultaneously. First, this was like a cliché under the influence test that cops give people on the side of the road. Second, she wondered what he'd do if she just stood there and waited for him to actually ask her to move. Instead she obediently bent her right arm at the elbow and touched her finger to the tip of her nose. She wasn't really the type of person that would do such a thing, but she had a sense of humor about the doctor's choice of words. Besides, not moving right away might indicate brain damage that she didn't have. Her left hand had just finished performing the task equally well, when the doctor smiled at her and told her to sit down again.

"Now, tell me about this 'shadowy blob' you're seeing." Dr. Cullen was smiling at her again, with a relaxed sense of humor that made her feel as though she were just talking to a chum.

_This is some bedside manner_, Bella thought to herself as she answered him.

"Has it faded or become less intense since you first noticed it?"

Bella hesitated, trying to gauge it, but it wasn't easy to focus on. "Not really, maybe a little."

All of a sudden Bella's stomach gave a quick heave and she folded inward, her head coming closer to the doctor's knees. Quicker than she could see, he somehow managed to have a trash can with a clear plastic liner in front of her before the vomit made it out of her mouth. She took it from his hands as a second demonstration of her condition pushed itself upward and outward. Dr. Cullen gave her a respectable amount of space, and he was right on hand with a paper towel when she was done.

"Thank you," Bella spoke sincerely, taking the saving grace from his hand and wiping her mouth without looking up. "Nice reflexes."

She let the used up cloth fall into the can before placing it at her feet and sitting up slowly.

"I think it's safe to say that you have a concussion, Miss Swan." His hand was on her upper arm, steadying her as she sat up, and once again she felt the coolness of his fingers through the parka she wore. That was a trifle surprising, as the parka fabric was rather thick. Why was this man so cold? Had he just been rummaging through a refrigerator before coming to tend to her?

Though she didn't hear the door swing open, she heard the footsteps of her father with their weighty tread quickly coming towards her and the doctor.

"Dr. Cullen," Charlie's voice was both greeting and question as he also came and stood by the bed. Having the two of them hover had Bella uncomfortable, and with the heel of her foot she nudged the soiled wastebasket under the bed. Almost as if the doctor picked up on her discomfort, he moved a couple of paces away from her, while still remaining close to her father.

_Slickly done,_ Bella thought as she fought off a new wave of nausea. She wasn't going to throw up this time.

"Chief Swan," Dr. Cullen greeted in return. His golden eyes were focused on the policeman's face with appropriate concern that matched the genteel manner of his voice. "Your daughter has a concussion. Though I don't believe it to be serious, I suggest being cautious. We can do a CT Scan, but I don't detect any fracture of the skull or internal bleeding. What I would recommend is rest."

"Hmm," Charlie grunted in response. His brow was furrowed, indicating that he was taking the doctor's words seriously. "She starts school tomorrow."

"I'd suggest keeping her home instead for at least twenty-four hours. You can give her Tylenol for the pain, or a more generic brand if you prefer, as long as it is acetaminophen." The doctor's eyes returned to settle on Bella, and she was glad for it. She was used to being talked about by medical professionals as though she weren't there, but that didn't mean that she had to like it. She had been feeling resentful. Bella groaned aloud at his next words, which earned her a commiserating smile from Dr. Cullen. "She'll need to be woken every two hours to make certain that she can be roused to normal consciousness."

Bella wasn't the only one to be distressed by this. The expression on Charlie's face showed he wasn't looking forward to the prospect of bi-hourly interrupted sleep.

"You're sure she doesn't need that scan you mentioned?" Charlie directed his question to the doctor.

"No. I don't believe it's necessary. Bella is very cognizant of what occurred to her, has no memory loss and her balance and coordination are just fine." He turned from Charlie to Bella, and the smile he gave her was brilliant. "Just rest yourself and you'll be fine."

"Thank you," Bella smiled back at him, accepting the kind dismissal.

"Yeah, thanks, Doc." Charlie added as Dr. Cullen walked away after handing Charlie Bella's registration papers. Bella's eyes followed him out the door, focusing as best they could on the blond hair and white coat that moved in and out of her imposed shadow sight. There was something very unusual about the man she had just met, something beyond the unique gold eyes. Bella turned her head to find her father watching her.

"Isn't he a little pale?" Bella asked Charlie.

"Uh-huh." Charlie's answer wasn't an agreement so much as an observation. "C'mon, kid, let's get you out of here."

It didn't occur to Bella until she and Charlie were once again in the cruiser to wonder how Dr. Cullen had determined that she had no internal bleeding merely from being close enough to touch her head.

**(~*~)**

Bella woke for the third time that evening to her father shaking her shoulder.

"Unnn," she grunted at him sleepily, an attitude of resentment evident. She pushed herself into an upright position slowly, her hands hitting the covers heavily. She blinked at her father twice before speaking, gravel in her voice. "I'm awake, I'm fine."

"What happened today?"

Bella almost rolled her eyes and arms in wide exaggeration. Instead she fell face-forward into the blankets. "I was hit in the head by a door on a truck. Jacob Black was opening it." Cotton to cotton mouth, the heat of her breath flowed against the fabric and circled back to her lips.

"Alright," her father said. "Sit up for me, please."

Bella sat back up, and the weight of her head balanced on the back of her neck, making her chin jut forward. Her eyelids were so heavy, but she managed to open them and look at her father. She was expecting him to leave again for the next two hours, but instead he surprised her with a new question.

"What about that shadow you were seeing?"

Bella blinked at him and sat up straighter. Her mouth loosed slightly as she looked at Charlie, her bed, her nightstand, and the desk against the wall on the other side of the room. "It's gone. It's been gone. I haven't noticed it since I went to sleep the first time." She looked back at her father, pleased at the obvious progress, pleased that he had thought to ask. Interesting that her father thought of its disappearance before she had even noticed that it was gone.

Looking at his face, she noticed how tired he was. It wasn't surprising. After all, her father had worked that morning, driven to Seattle and back, brought her to the hospital and back. Then he'd taken care of her, fumbling through the kitchen cabinets until he'd found a can of Campbell's Chicken Soup to warm for their dinner.

"You've had a long day, too. I'm sorry you have to get up every couple of hours."

Her father nodded, and his face was relaxed with an odd emotion Bella couldn't quite pin down. "This reminds me of when you were newly born," Charlie shared. "We all had to wake every two hours to nurse the jaundice out of you. Your mother wasn't too crazy about that."

There was a smile coming from Charlie that Bella rarely saw. She realized that the memory of her as a baby had brought forth a paternal affection strong enough to show clearly on her father's usually passive face. For the first time, Bella felt glad that she had moved back to Forks. It would be good to be with her father again.

"Tell you what, Dad," she began. "I've woken up okay three times now. How about I just set the alarm in my room and let you sleep? That way you don't have to get up so often. If I don't get to it, you'll hear it going off unstopped, and you'll wake."

Charlie seemed to consider this for a moment, but then shook his head. "I've got to be sure that you're waking up. It's best the way we've been doing it, Bells."

Bella sighed through her nose and nodded sleepily. At Charlie's urging she lay back again, and he pulled the covers up to her clavicle. There was a brief squeeze on her shoulder before he moved to the door.

"See you in two hours," she called lightly to him.

"At least this time I don't need to use ice cubes to wake you."

"Better not."

With a light chuckle, Charlie turned out the light and shut the door behind him.

Bella did not fall back asleep right away. After several minutes she turned onto her side and looked out towards the window. It was bleak and dark. She could hear the trickle of the recently rained-upon vegetation dripping onto slick grass and roof shingles. The sound was almost alien; Bella was so unaccustomed to it.

Knowing that she ought to be resting, Bella still pulled back the covers her father so recently spread over her and placed her feet on the floor. Walking over to the window, she pulled back one side of the pale blue curtain and stared out at the front yard. Everything seemed to be a deep brown, from the trees along the side of the house, to the grass and gravel ground. The view wasn't entirely unfamiliar. After all, she had spent the first eight years of her life in this room, not to mention the occasional visit to her father. There was an opening just under that one pine tree where Bella used to sit and play. It was a nice recollection, yet the wet was too much. With no city lights, the night was so dark under the clouded sky. Forks was a town of mostly rain and clouds, Bella mentally sighed. She knew all along that she was going to miss the sunshine; it did her little good to reflect on it now.

How had fate brought her back to this house? A house that her mother could barely stand, though somehow she'd managed eight years before taking Bella and leaving. Renee had told Bella once that she almost left when Bella was an infant, had seriously considered taking her and just going then. Yet the thought of a young baby, so dependent on her parents for care and comfort, had made her mother remain in the home they'd started for longer than she thought possible. Now Bella was back.

It wasn't fate, Bella acknowledged to herself, disagreeing with the earlier thought. Bella had definitely made the choice herself to return to Forks, Washington. Just as her mother had made the choice to leave not seventeen years earlier, but nine. Now, Bella's future was to deal with the rural town and its changeable climate. There would be good things about it, as Bella had realized while talking with her father just a few moments ago. It wasn't as though there wouldn't be any sunny days at all here.

There was a break in the clouds, and the moon cast its light. It heightened and made more visible the details of the darkly wet grass and the peripheral trees. There were more colors and hues than there had been without it, and the yard looked more promising.

As Bella's mind grew more accepting of her decision, she began to wonder what her new life would be like for her. She had already seen Jacob, how many other familiar faces would she see when she started attending the high school? How many new ones?

She had already met at least one new face today. Idly, Bella's thoughts fell on Dr. Cullen. Aside from being surprisingly young and having the looks of an Abercrombie and Fitch model, he had been pale, with slight shadows under those uniquely golden eyes. Though she was certain that she'd never met him before, something unusual about him had tugged a memory. Unable to recall, Bella shrugged it off as she continued to look at her view. Perhaps the feeling was just coming from being treated by a doctor who seemed overworked.

Bella stood there for several minutes, staring up at the moon.

**(~*~)**

Dr. Carlisle Cullen left the hospital after working a double shift without looking any the worse for it than he had when he walked in. While the shirt and slacks might have been a touch more rumpled from his movement within them up and down the halls of the Forks Community Hospital, Carlisle himself remained immaculate. There was no five o'clock shadow from having gone without shaving. His hair might have been slightly out of place, but not prominently so. His eyes glowed with a spark of life and energy, as though he was looking forward to beginning his day, rather than just ending a long one.

The nurses at the hospital might have noticed these things, were it not for their own attractions getting in the way. His ethereal beauty tended to distract the females from noticing the minor things, despite their eyes trying to soak up every detail when they saw him. The doctor was an enticing and exotic fish in a small rural pond, and in the two years he'd been around no one had managed to hook him yet.

The women in his home might have been a deterrent at first, were it not for the fact that they turned out to be his sister, his cousin and his adopted teenage daughter. The greater deterrents came when Dr. Cullen ignored subtle hints, and politely declined outright invitations. Some of the more vain women declared him to be gay, but after two years of never noticing him out with anyone at all, and a reluctance to give up hope, that rumor was rather deflated. Yet, the staff at the hospital had to wonder about a very attractive man who did not date, and raised two teenagers with his sister and a cousin.

Carlisle was aware of the speculation, but it was no less than he expected, for it was the same in every town that he and his family had moved to. He nodded politely and kindly to Grace Lloyd-Jenkins, the middle-aged receptionist on duty, as he headed out the front of the hospital.

He walked through the drip coming from the eaves of the roof overhang without wincing. The night was wet, and he could detect the nuance of upcoming spring in the air. Walking at a slower pace than he was capable of, Carlisle made it to his Mercedes in the side corner of the parking lot. He was looking forward to returning to his family. Esme's sweet warm welcome and Maggie's perky helpfulness. Though Alice's eager heart could easily outdo Maggie's perkiness. Jasper's silent and deep presence was always soothing. In a few months Edward and Rosalie would be visiting, though the town didn't know of them. Carlisle was very grateful for the family that now filled his life. He had been lonely for a long time. It was merely a reflection of their own understanding that his coworkers at the hospital didn't realize how content he was.

Today there had been something new to capture their interest. Carlisle recalled the conversations he'd heard whispered in the hall or spoken openly in the break room a few doors down. The police chief's daughter had returned to town.

With perfect clarity, the words spoken of the young Isabella Swan ran through Carlisle's mind as he pulled out of the parking lot and drove towards home.

"Mother up and took her when she was eight years old. The girl has only occasionally been back since, though I never saw her."

"She was a sweet child, quiet and agreeable."

"She almost always had her nose in a book, even at that young age. She could be sitting in the waiting room, ankle twisted, and she'd have L. M. Montgomery in her hands. I'm surprised she didn't have a book on her today. Pity if she grew out of it." This was from Grace, who had been taking a moment to get some coffee in the break room.

"I imagine it was too sudden. After all, Charlie told me that she hadn't made it into the house yet from the airport." Grace had been speaking with Eileen, a lab assistant who had apparently come on duty while Charlie was getting Bella registered.

"_Really?_ First day back? Well, then, you can bet we'll be seeing more of her here. That girl was more accident prone than any one else I ever laid my eyes on."

Carlisle had to agree. Walking into a door certainly indicated a clumsy nature, which he had verified as he looked over Miss Swan's records from Phoenix. As Carlisle wondered how soon he'd likely see the girl at the hospital again, the nighttime clouds released the moon. It was high enough in the sky that it hovered above the tree line that enclosed the little-traveled road, brightening the way ahead. Caught in the light, delicate drops of rain hanging from the boughs on either side of the road shone in Carlisle's sharp vision. Carlisle drove on, appreciating the beauty of moonlight.


	2. Chapter 2

~*~ Chapter Two ~*~

It was actually another two days before Bella started attending Forks High School. Charlie had kept her home both Monday and Tuesday that week. In part, it was to remain on the side of caution, but mostly Charlie did it to mollify Renee. Bella's mother had called on Monday, hysterical over not having heard from her daughter in twenty-four hours. When Renee had learned this was due to the injury, she pitched a royal fit. Charlie took the tongue-lashing from his ex-wife, guilty over not having thought to call Renee when he'd had the opportunity during those first few hours he'd brought Bella home. It was all Bella could do to persuade her mother not to catch the next flight into Washington, that Charlie was taking care of her just fine, and that she wasn't returning to Phoenix as soon as she felt better. The whole family had compromised. Bella would stay home from school another day, and call her mother every two hours to let her know that she was okay. Bella wasn't terribly excited about continuing a bihourly routine, but as she was already on the schedule, and as she'd be allowed to sleep fully that night, there was no reason to stop.

As Bella's health was just fine, there was also no reason for Charlie to take another day off from the station. Yet since he had, and he had no intention of leaving Bella alone under any circumstances, she persuaded him to take her to the grocery store. The kitchen had almost nothing in it, for Charlie was a take-out or canned goods kind of cook. The familiarity of grocery shopping (Renee was too scatter-brained to remember to do it herself) soothed the remaining nerves that left Bella on edge. Taking over kitchen duties was reassuring. Selecting enough food for the week, Bella planned a steak and potatoes meal for that evening.

"Jesus," Charlie muttered under his breath when he helped her unload onto the register's conveyor belt. He didn't think that he had ever seen so much food purchased at once. "What on earth do we need paprika for?"

"Chicken enchiladas, deviled eggs, any number of things," was Bella's answer. Her father's puzzlement had her torn between amusement and tolerance.

"Deviled eggs? You planning on going to a shower sometime soon?"

"It's just a possibility, Dad. I'm not planning a three course meal for every night of the week, I'm just getting a few ingredients for the future." Bella shrugged. "We'll probably have the enchiladas this week."

"Mexican," Charlie muttered again, and this time Bella couldn't help crack a smile as amusement won out. Renee had been -and still was- a terrible experimental cook, and Bella was sure her father hadn't forgotten.

"It'll be yummy. You'll see."

"Uh-huh." Charlie swiped his credit card automatically before looking at the amount adding up on the register. "Jesus."

**(~*~)**

The morning, so far, had not been terrible. There had certainly been a lot of kids looking Bella's way, and after a little while most of them seemed familiar to her. She remembered that the tall black-haired boy in English class was named Eric, though his last name hadn't hit her yet. It was promising that Bella recognized a face here and there, but embarrassing as well, for she had gone to elementary school with almost all of them.

Entering the classroom in building two of the segmented school, Bella passed her office slip to the trigonometry teacher. The slip was to be turned back in to the main office at the end of the day after collecting the signatures of each of her teachers. To prove that she'd made it to all her classes, Bella supposed. Ms. Cope, the secretary, had taken a keen interest in Bella's health. It may have been that her father needed to provide a reason to the office as to why his daughter didn't start on Monday as planned, but Bella was quite certain that small town gossip had lead to the red-headed middle-aged woman's thoroughly skewed knowledge of Bella's injury.

Mr. Varner took the slip from her and nodded. "Isabella Swan?" He looked at her expectantly and Bella nodded, not bothering to correct the first name.

Then the nightmare happened.

Setting her slip on his desk, unsigned, Mr. Varner pressed on. "Why don't you just stay up here while the class settles in. You can introduce yourself."

Bella stared at him in disbelief. This was high school. She was a junior, probably like most of the students in the room. Surely such patronizing wasn't needed. Yet, Mr. Varner didn't crack a smile or make any sign that he had been joking. There had been only one or two students that hadn't yet entered the classroom, and those that were talking amongst themselves soon sat in their seats. The whole class had their faces turned towards the front of the room, eyes on her. Mr. Varner sat down, leaning back in his chair.

"Um… hi." Bella could feel the blush heating her cheeks as she stammered. It wasn't the best start. "I'm Bella Swan."

Silence. Eighteen faces stared blankly at her. A glance at Mr. Varner showed that it wasn't enough to let her off the hook yet. Taking a deep breath and facing the inevitable, Bella surged on. "I just moved back to Forks from Phoenix. Arizona. There was a lot more sun there."

"Then why aren't you tan?" some wiseass called out.

"My mother's part Albino."

This earned her a few appreciative chuckles from around the room, including the blond freckled boy who had spoken. The name "Gordon" popped into Bella's head. Mr. Varner was not impressed with her sarcasm. Probably afraid she'd say something else he thought inappropriate, he quickly signed her slip and gave it to her. Bella sat down next to a girl with curly dark hair, relieved it was over. As Mr. Varner began sketching on the board something that could have been the schematics of the Mars Rover for all Bella knew, the curly-haired brunette leaned over towards Bella. "I thought we agreed that your mother was part fairy."

Startled, Bella looked up. "What?" A light dawned. "Jessica."

Nodding, the girl grinned at Bella. Jessica Stanley had been Bella's closest friend in the first few years of school. A chatterbox and playmate, they both had giggled over Bella's mother being a little absent-minded. Their second grade teacher had used the word "airy-fairy" in class, and the two girls had latched onto it. When third grade came around, Bella had grown a bit quieter. It was a natural change, but the arguments between her parents had made her feel a little less social. Becoming passionately more interested in skirts and pre-teen pop idols, Jessica had stopped hanging out with the more introspective Bella months before the big move out of Forks.

It would be interesting to see how the connection reestablished itself now. Jessica turned out to be in her Spanish class the next period, too. It was inertia to walk with her into lunch and sit with her group. Bella didn't know many of the names of the kids also at the table, but she recognized the blond round-faced boy from her first period English class. She tried to keep up with the conversation at the table, but most of the chatter was about things with which she wasn't familiar. The baby-faced boy, Mike, seemed eager to help put her at ease.

"So, it must suck, huh, coming here from all that sunshine."

Bella nodded politely, appreciating the intention behind the comment, if not it's obviousness.

"Yeah, I know exactly how you feel. I moved here from California when I was ten. You'll get used it."

"After seven years?"

"Huh?" Mike frowned before his face lit up with comprehension. "No, no, it's great. Especially if you like the outdoors. My parents own the outfitters store downtown. You could come by some time, I'd show you around, find you a discount."

Beside Bella, Jessica lost the happy smile she had on her face while talking to a quiet girl across from her. She turned and frowned at Bella. Mike didn't seem to notice. "Do you camp?"

"Um, no." Bella shook her head emphatically, determined not to find herself in the middle of a situation she didn't want to be in. "No, I don't really do anything other than the occasional walk."

"Hiking, great!" Mike's spirit refused to be dampened. "Do you need some-" But Bella lost track of what kind of boots his father kept in stock at his store. A prickling at the back of her neck had started to creep along her skin, almost causing her to shiver. Bella turned her head to find a tall boy standing at the entrance to the cafeteria, his black eyes boring into her. He had curly honey-blond hair that was just long enough to tickle his brow and tease his neck. His skin was a cool pale that surpassed her own. The way his dark gaze focused on her made Bella feel as though she should back slowly away before turning around into a full run. The unsettling sensation tingled down her arms and legs, and Bella almost huddled in against herself.

A girl came up behind him, smooth and graceful, grasping his forearm. She was petite, with spiky short black hair that made her skin seem all the paler, and her lips unusually pink. The black-eyed boy turned to look at her and his face softened. It relaxed into the kind of expression that Bella had only ever seen on the face of an actor. Clearly this girl was his girlfriend. They were a beautiful pair.

The girl seemed to whisper something as she looked back up at him, only her lips barely moved. Together they crossed further into the cafeteria towards the food counter. The boy's posture held stiff, and he didn't look in Bella's direction again. The girl, however, glanced her way as they passed the table, and Bella was startled to see her eyes. They were a pale butterscotch, strangely reminiscent of another pair of eyes she had seen very recently.

"Who are _they_?" Bella asked Jessica after the stunning couple had gotten in line for food.

Jessica turned to look, though a knowing smirk on her face made Bella think that she already knew.

"Alice Cullen and Jasper Whitlock. They're the Cullen foster kids, and they're _dating_." She grinned at Bella, eyes full of excitement at being the one to deliver this juicy tidbit. Truthfully, Bella was a little surprised at this information, but she focused in on the more pertinent piece of Jessica's gossip.

"Cullen, as in Dr. Cullen at the hospital?" That was what was familiar about the boy and girl's pale skin. It was the same tone as Dr. Cullen's. Only if they were foster children, then they weren't blood relations. How could Dr. Cullen and this Alice both have such a similar rare eye color and not be related?

"Ooo, met him, have you?" Jessica grinned salaciously at Bella, who looked blankly back. Jessica seemed to realize she was being a little too forward, and dialed it back a bit. Her tone became more neutral and informative. "Jasper, though, is more like a young cousin. He and his older sister Maggie lost their parents in a car accident like a decade ago, so they moved in with their relatives: Dr. Cullen and his sister Esme. Easier for three of them to raise Jasper than just the sister, I guess. They must've liked it, because they adopted Alice a little later." Jessica shoved some food in her mouth. "Wonder how everyone reacted when the two of them got together."

"So they haven't been living here long?"

Jessica shook her head. "Uh-uh. The whole family moved here only two years ago. Dr. Cullen has been great to have at the hospital, and his sister Esme occasionally substitute teaches at the middle school. The cousin, Maggie, keeps the house, I guess."

Bella looked back over at the Cullen teenagers. They had filled their trays, and sat at the empty end of a long table, keeping to themselves. They seemed to be conversing in intense whispers and neither touched their food. Bella couldn't help watch them throughout the rest of lunch. They were obviously outsiders, like her, a couple of kids that were more of an oddity than she was in this small-town school. As she watched them, it wasn't just their estrangement that caught at Bella's interest. It wasn't only their pale skin and strange eyes. It was the way that they interacted with each other, like the gentling of Jasper's face when Alice had touched his arm. They might be getting raised by the same family and living in the same house, but what the two of them had together- it was for real.

**(~*~)**

Alice and Jasper weren't in any of Bella's classes. As much as Bella might have liked to get to know them better, she was overwhelmed with the attentions of the kids that she did cross paths with. Mike Newton had turned out not to be just in her English class, but her Biology II and Gym classes as well. Since Bella was without a partner, Mike and Anna Novak, his lab partner, had taken her in. Bella had thought that she'd be a third wheel, but Mike's consistent attention left Anna as the odd man out. Mike also carried her books as they walked together towards Gym. He was beginning to remind Bella of an overeager lab puppy.

Among the circle of kids from lunch, Angela Weber was also in Bella's Bio II class. A naturally pretty girl with brown hair and glasses, Angela was quiet and unassuming. Bella felt more at ease and able to relax around Angela than any of the others. Lauren Mallory was another girl from the lunch table, and clearly Jessica's best friend. Bella only vaguely remembered Lauren, but the memories were tainted with negativity. The fact that Lauren didn't seem to like Bella now was hardly surprising, as Bella felt sure that they hadn't gotten along then.

Eric, whose last name turned out to be Yorkie, ran yearbook and newspaper. He was almost as chatty as Jessica, but with slightly more wit. He had once gotten into a debate with Bella on the merits (or lack thereof) of Jane Austen. Bella wasn't sure if either of them came out the winner. She still held fast to her worn copy of the collected works, and she'd yet to see Eric with anything other than James Patterson in his hands.

Tyler Crowley was the athlete among the group. Antsy and never restful, he often had a hackey sack in the air while walking between classes. Bella had once had the urge to try to grab the sack from him before it fell onto his turned foot, which surprised her, as she was never ever inclined toward anything involving speed or catching. As it turned out, Mike had done exactly that, only he'd engaged Tyler in a game that they kept up even after Bella had left them to make her way to Government.

Ben Cheney, who had a Chinese grandmother, was the most ethnic student in the school. He was also the shortest of the boys at the table. Just as quiet as Angela, Bella still had yet to figure him out, but so far he was good company.

As Bella gathered her things to head out the door that Tuesday morning, she groaned at the weather. The day before it had briefly snowed before turning to rain. The overnight drop in temperature had frozen the wet, and just about everything else along with it. While the trees outside looked rather pretty encapsulated in icicles, Bella had hoped she would be lucky enough to avoid this type of weather in late March. Sighing, Bella headed out to her truck, locking the door behind her.

The trees caught her attention again as she stepped onto the driveway. It had been years since she'd allowed herself to be in Forks during colder weather. It was rather… nice to see the slight shine and sparkle of the evergreen boughs.

The worn heel of Bella's sneaker slid against the smooth surface as Bella stepped forward, her eyes not watching where she was walking. It slid out from underneath her and Bella soon found her butt making hard contact with the cold ground.

"Ow," came the whimpered response after a few seconds of startlement. Slowly, Bella pushed herself back onto her feet, balancing her book bag against her weight. Her rear end throbbed with pain, and there was a slight jar in her lower back. Taking a few very tentative steps, Bella determined that she was fine. No permanent damage. Though she was getting a little sick of Charlie's front yard coming up at her suddenly.

Climbing into the truck, Bella was grateful to note that Charlie had remembered to put chains around her wheels before heading to work that morning. If only she'd thought the same of her own shoes. Sneakers with worn treads were hardly going to see her through until December. Bella supposed she was going to find a pair of boots at Newton's Outfitters after all.

Bella drove very carefully on the highway, her decked out wheels making the trip a lot easier than otherwise. Still, she was surprised to see some other vehicles speeding along past her, like that silver Volvo.

_Were these drivers nuts?_ Bella wondered to herself. _No, they probably were just used to driving in this weather._

Arriving at the school Bella almost pulled into the first open spot in the lot she saw, but she spied another further down. It was closer to the school building, and considering that she had already slipped and fallen once, Bella went for the safer option. Closer to the school meant less time out on the ice.

The school lot was full of cars and students, all toting their bags and readying for the day. As Bella climbed down out of the cab of her truck, she saw Mike, Eric and Jessica heading into the building, Angela and Ben trailing behind them. Alice and Jasper she also noted in the periphery, their pale skin almost blending into the white of the clouded sky.

She adjusted the strap of the bag around her shoulder and walked just a few steps when she heard the shriek of breaks behind her. Turning, she saw Tyler in his fishtailing van, hands frantically trying to regain control by turning the wheel. He'd obviously taken the turn into the parking lot too quickly for the ice. With a sickening crunch, the van spun sideways into two cars, it's front end hitting the back of a rusted tan Chevrolet while it's tail scratched along the side of a Honda. It came to a stop, resting in the empty spot that Bella had just passed by.

Students poured out around her, rushing from the reverse direction to get to Tyler and his van. Only Bella remained still, staring at the van and the crunch of metal around it. She had almost been there. She had almost pulled into that spot. It was just a couple minutes ago. She would have been standing out in the open when Tyler's van skidded on the ice.

_Tyler. Oh my god._

Bella rushed forward, snapping out of the minute of shock to join the rest of those crowding around and shouting, wanting to know if Tyler was okay.

"Tyler!" she shouted with the rest, fear creating a high pitch.

"I'm here!" came his voice, and Bella felt her muscles loosen in relief.

Some teachers had arrived and shifted into emergency mode. Several people were as dumbstruck as Bella felt. She saw that Lauren had tears running down her eyes, and felt her first true moment of kinship with her.

"Don't move!" Coach Clapp was saying to Tyler. "We're going to try to get you out."

Sirens were audible coming from the highway.

Bella backed up a step, getting herself out of the way of the adults that were all rushing forward to help. When she looked up, she made eye contact with Alice Cullen across the lot. Alice hadn't been watching the panic around the van. She wasn't looking anywhere but at Bella, her face serious.

In that moment, Bella knew with absolute certainty that Alice Cullen was aware of exactly what had almost happened. Of who could have been caught between Tyler's van and the tan Chevrolet.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Twilight is the property of Stephenie Meyer and Paramount Pictures subdivision Summit Entertainment. The posting of this work is not intended for profit. **

* * *

~*~ Chapter Three ~*~

There was something different about Isabella Swan.

Alice leaned back onto the heels of her hands, alone in one of her preferred spots. The night wind breezed around her, and she enjoyed the tingling scent of it. The air was cool enough that a less discerning person might not be able to sense that it was spring. Alice liked the spring: the gentling of the climate, dormant life rejuvenating itself. It was like possibilities sprang anew.

Isabella Swan was just such a possibility.

A large part of Alice wanted to get to know her better. Alice intuitively felt that the chief's daughter was someone who could belong with her family. Therein lied the uniqueness about the girl. Not since joining the Cullens had Alice come across the path of someone with whom she felt a kinship. Yet, somehow, there was a draw to the girl who preferred to be called Bella.

Alice could envision herself, her white arm around the girl's shoulders and Bella's own arm around Alice's waist as they smiled and laughed together. She could see Esme consoling Bella while she wiped tears from her eyes. These images were faint, but there, like mere wisps of potential on the air. It made Alice want to approach the girl, initiate that friendship. However, doing such a thing would be very dangerous, in more ways than one.

There was also a strong sense of Edward whenever Alice thought about Bella Swan. The day that the van had skidded on ice, Alice felt mostly Bella and Edward's presences wrapped around that van. Yet the image was smoke, though the fact that Bella had almost died was very real. Even if Alice hadn't had her extra senses, she'd noticed the old Chevy hesitate before moving forward into another open spot.

The very real possibility that Bella could have almost been snuffed out of the world gave Alice a cold sense of loss. There would be no friendship, no sisterly bonding, no love. Alice closed her eyes against the idea, though it was not completely dissipated.

_Leaning forward, Carlisle kissed the tip of her nose. "It's Christmas, Bella. Indulge me."_

Alice opened her eyes again. The image had been quick: Carlisle in his work clothes waking a sleepy Bella who was buried in blankets, the casual familiarity between them. Alice looked up at the moon shining gently above her, a mere crescent sliver.

_No,_ she thought to herself with a sense of resolve. _I shouldn't speak to her yet._ _I have to wait._

The decision made, Alice continued to hold still. When a new sweet scent swirled in with the night wind, she was up and running.

**(~*~)**

Tyler had required stitches in his forehead from where it had impacted against his window. The hospital kept him overnight for observation. His family kept him home an extra day to feed him his favorite foods, blast music and let him win a few video games. When Tyler returned to school on Thursday it was almost a hero's welcome. Everyone crowded in the lot that morning, smiling, asking him how he was doing and telling him how glad they were that he was okay. Lauren clung to his side between classes, which was just as well as the hackey sack was temporarily retired.

Bella was very relieved to see Tyler back in school again, as she told Charlie that evening when he asked.

"Do you remember him from elementary?"

Bella shook her head. "No, not really. There are a lot of faces that seem familiar, and names I should remember, but only a couple people really stand out. I've been hanging out with Tyler, though. He's fun and a nice guy."

"How nice?" Charlie was pretending not to watch her and Bella laughed.

"Great interrogation technique, Dad. Really, you must get the criminals shivering in their boots."

"It works better than you think," Charlie retorted, a smile just barely making itself visible. Bella rolled her eyes at him and continued folding her laundry as she took it out of the dryer. It had been left from the night before, so Bella had figured she'd get it done after homework and before dinner. Charlie was home earlier than usual today.

Living with Charlie was a lot easier than Bella had expected. Once he'd ceased playing watchdog, Charlie had gone back to working long hours and doing his own thing. Both days over the weekend he had been gone fishing before she'd woken up. It was almost like living on her own. Bella could deal with that.

"Bella?" Charlie's tone was expectant, as if he'd been waiting for her to speak.

"Huh?" Bella looked up at him.

Her father winced. "Don't make me ask again."

It took Bella a second to remember what he asked the first time. "Oh, no. Tyler's just a friend, Dad. No boys on my radar at all right now, promise."

"What about this Mike Newton?"

"Mike? No, him neither, Dad." Bella dropped the jeans onto the pile in the basket and straightened up so that she could look her father right in the eye. "Seriously, I'm just trying to fit in for now. Jessica and I have taken back up together, and I've just been hanging with her and her friends. You remember Jessica, right?"

Charlie nodded and his stance against the doorframe eased up. "Billy is coming by later to watch the game. He'll be bringing some of Harry Clearwater's fish fry for dinner."

"Alright," Bella called after her father as he moved out of the laundry room.

Bella already had the fish thawed when Billy arrived a couple hours later, Jacob in tow. She took the fish fry off his hands and brought it into the kitchen and began slicing up vegetables for a side dish: summer squash, zucchini, and tomatoes.

"How are Rebecca and Rachel?" she asked Jacob, who had followed her into the kitchen while Billy and Charlie positioned themselves in front of the television. The twins were his older sisters, a year older than Bella, and they had all played together on the beaches of La Push reservation.

"Rachel's going to Washington State. She got a scholarship."

"Really? That's great. What's she studying?"

"Marine biology."

"Nice," Bella nodded appreciatively as she moved the squash into the frying pan and set up the tomato on the cutting board. "What about Rebecca?"

"She's in Hawaii with her husband. She met some Samoan surfer and that was it."

Bella stopped slicing the tomato and looked up at Jacob. "Married. Wow."

Jacob smiled at her with one side of his mouth, causing a dimple to feature prominently. "Yeah, I know." He took a step forward, closer to Bella. "Listen, can I help with any of this?" His hands gestured to the counter full of food.

"Sure," Bella nodded. Jacob really was sweet. She pointed out the cupboard at the right of her feet. "Could you get out a small pot and melt some butter in it?"

Jacob was quick to obey, rummaging first in the cabinet and then the refrigerator for the butter. He also withdrew a container of minced garlic. He grinned, wiggling it at her. "I imagine this will be going in, too?"

Bella nodded and grinned. "You must cook, too."

Jacob shrugged, and started prepping at the stove, standing just to her right. "It helps to know my way around the kitchen, what with both the girls gone."

"Has it been hard to deal with, since your Dad got sick?" Bella asked gently, moving the sliced tomato into the frying pan and starting on the zucchini.

"Nah," Jacob grinned at her, showing off his white teeth. "The Blacks know how to bounce."

Bella smiled back. It was really nice chatting with him. Bella had such a strong sense of familiarity with the Black family that she could sense a real kinship there. It made her feel proud and even a little strong herself that they could, as Jacob put it, bounce. If Jacob could deal with his Dad suddenly becoming a cripple, she could deal with a little change in her scenery.

"So how's it coming with your Volkswagen?" she asked.

"The Rabbit?" Jacob swung the handle of the pot inward toward the center of the stove to get it out of his way. "I need to find-" but he cut off when his elbow hit Bella's right hand, sending the butcher knife clattering to the floor.

"Sorry!" he said reaching down, even as Bella called "I got it."

It took less than a second. Jacob was faster and lifting the knife up by the handle, sent it straight into Bella's grasping fingers.

**(~*~)**

When Carlisle walked through the emergency room's swinging doors, Bella was waiting for him on the closest bed. As Charlie was still going through registration for her, she was alone, still pressing the kitchen towel to the fingers of her right hand. It had hurt when Charlie took it off to show the nurse, for the blood had caked the fabric to her cuts. The pain was what had jolted Bella back to serious consciousness, for the moment she had seen the blood dripping onto Jacob's sneakered toe, she had fainted. Bella never really did too well around blood.

Jacob had caught her and called out to their fathers for help. Charlie had grabbed the towel that hung on the oven door handle and used it to staunch the flow of blood. Then it was back into the cruiser, and on the way to the hospital. Bella had been semi-conscious of once again being slumped against the passenger-side window. She knew her hand held the towel in place, but she couldn't recall if she'd done that herself, or if Charlie had placed it there.

Seeing Dr. Cullen arrive, Bella couldn't help thinking that she was starting a tradition. Step one: have Jacob and Billy over for a visit. Step two: get hurt. Step three: take a ride in the cruiser to the hospital. Step four: get treatment from Dr. Cullen.

"Miss Swan, visiting again so soon?" Carlisle smiled at her.

Bella smiled at him. She was finding it easy to like this man. "Oh, you know, bringing tradition into Forks."

"Yes, I remember seeing in your records that you seemed to visit the hospital in Phoenix fairly regularly." Carlisle answered her, and as he did last visit, rolled a stool over to her side to sit by her. "You've cut yourself today?" Carlisle gently drew her arm towards him, ignoring the scent of blood under the towel. Carefully, he pulled it up. Bella let out a slight hiss, but that was it. Carlisle noted that she kept her head averted, and wasn't looking at him or what he was doing.

"Are you doing alright there, Miss Swan?"

Bella nodded, eyes closed tightly while she faced away from the doctor and her hand. "I get squeamish around blood."

Carlisle couldn't help but smile. "It's a good thing I don't."

Bella simply nodded again, and didn't respond. She could feel the doctor examining the fingers of her right hand with his own. He moved her fingers sideways, obviously looking at the cuts. When he finished, Carlisle laid her hand back in her lap, palm up.

"I'm going to need to stitch these, but there won't be many, and they'll be small."

"Okay," Bella looked back at the doctor, but he had already moved away to get some supplies from the cupboard on the wall. He placed them on a rolling tray and sat by her again. Taking her hand back in his, Carlisle looked her in the eyes and smiled. Bella felt herself calm and looked down at her fingers as the doctor wiped the blood away with sterile water.

Oh no. Red. Bella shut her eyes and tried to steady herself.

"Tell me how this happened, Bella."

Bella almost started to shrug, but the resistance of her hand being held by Dr. Cullen made her stop the motion. Man, his hands were cold.

"I dropped a knife chopping vegetables. Jacob was in the kitchen with me and we both reached for the knife at the same time. I lost."

"Wasn't Jacob the name of the boy who hit you with the door of your truck?"

"Yeah."

"It sounds to me like maybe this Jacob isn't good for you."

At first Bella thought that it was the doctor's cold fingers rubbing into her skin that caused the chill, but when she looked down she realized that it was the numbing cream he was putting on her. With the blood cleaned away, she could see the cuts more clearly. The pads of three of her fingers were sliced open. The damage was worse on her pinkie, where the knife's edge had caught it around the finger, from the pad to just under her nail. Ouch. Bella looked away.

"No, Jacob's a nice kid. I used to know him and his sisters before."

"Old friend, then." Carlisle was trying to keep her distracted. Her averted face, darting eyes and accelerated heart rate were obvious signs that she was still experiencing discomfort. "Have you reunited with his sisters, too?"

"No." Bella wasn't oblivious to the tugging sensation as the doctor began to suture. The white wall and tan color of the cupboards were too bland to study for too long. Changing tactics, she faced the doctor and watched his face instead. Less than two weeks hadn't made him any less pale, but then she hadn't really seen the sun once since she'd been back in Forks. "They're not here. One moved on to college, the other married." Bella didn't know why she kept speaking, sharing the thought, but she found the words just flowing out of her mouth. "They're twins, just a little over a year older than me. I can't believe that she's married."

"Why's that?" The fluorescent lights of the bright ER should have washed out the doctor's blond hair, but Bella noticed the yellow-gold gleam to it as he bent over her hand. _Good,_ she thought to herself. _Focus on him, not what he's doing._

When he looked up at her expectantly, she was startled all over again by the uniqueness of his eyes. They were so… ochre. "What?"

"Why does it bother you that she is married?"

"Oh. Well, it's just that she's so young. I couldn't even begin to think about being married."

"Eighteen isn't all that young. Not too long ago a young woman might have been considered a spinster if she was still unmarried at nineteen."

"Well, thank God for modern times. Women can vote and hold jobs nowadays, too, y'know."

"Hey," Carlisle was very amused. The girl was insinuating that he was old-fashioned. She had no idea. Yet he could play with a little modern colloquialism. "Ease up, Miss Swan. I'm a firm believer that women can do just about anything they put their minds to."

Bella was immediately remiss. The man was kind and charming; he hadn't deserved her sarcasm. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright." He smiled at her again before bending his head down back to his task.

There was silence for a moment, and then Bella once again found words making their own way out of her mouth. "My mother married right out of high school. She doesn't hide the fact that she thought it was a mistake. I guess I'm just… used to her mindset."

Carlisle understood, more than she was saying. After all, the girl had come from a broken home, and he knew from town rumor that the Chief had been very much in love with his wife. It was Bella's mother who hadn't been able to stay in the marriage. To learn that she had been openly negative in front of Bella pained him a little. Children shouldn't have to grow up believing that love and commitment were mutually exclusive.

Carlisle was surprised that the girl had opened up to him. It wasn't unusual for doctors to inspire confidences out of patients. It some cases it was very useful. Yet Carlisle tried to avoid becoming too intimate with the personalities of those he worked with and on. It was a danger he couldn't afford. The chief's daughter hadn't really struck him as someone who easily confided either. He'd have to be more careful.

"That's understandable," he said.

Bella was silent again, and Carlisle did nothing more to prod her into talking.

* * *

**Author's Note: At first I was determined to completely make this a long chapter, from the afterwards of Tyler's accident all the way to Port Angeles. I realized tonight that what happens in Port Angeles is such a different dynamic that it had to be a separate chapter. Which, of course, enabled me to post. :)**

**For those of you who did not read my one-shot "Moonlit December," be aware that this is the full story behind it. Starting with the moment Bella first arrives back in Forks and meets Carlisle, I begin three years previous to that one-shot. This story will encompass that one, and move beyond. In this chapter, hopefully, you see the beginnings of the natural comfort Bella and Carlisle have with each other. I'll be interweaving several different themes as the story progresses. **

**Please feel free to leave a review if you have a moment to spare. :) Reading your reviews and responding to them help keep me in the mindset of the story. It's always wonderful to hear what you thought - and don't be afraid to be honest!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: ****A difference between canon and this story is the time of year that Bella has come to Forks. The movie selected March, so that's how I remembered it, but the book selected January. I decided to keep with March because it's closer to spring training (Bella's reason for leaving Renee and Phil). Also, I find March more believable for post-winter weather that may turn into frozen ice overnight. ****The reason I'm bringing up the date is to explain why the girls will be talking about Prom. The girls-ask-guys spring dance would have already happened before Bella came to town. **

***WARNING* This chapter contains some horror. A portion is going to be told from Alonzo's point of view. For those of you who haven't read Midnight Sun, that's the name of the rapist serial killer that Edward saves Bella from in Twilight. These passages will be darker than anything that I've written before. **

* * *

~*~ Chapter Four ~*~

Kids at school were curious about the bandages on Bella's fingertips, but they stopped asking after getting negative vibes from Bella. Bella was still able to take notes, albeit a little awkwardly, so she didn't suffer much through classes. All the same, she was happy to be at home again once the day was over. Charlie was gone, and Bella thought she'd curl up on her bed with a good book. She had been to visit the library, but the selection was small. Most of the books she might have picked up Bella owned already. Branch out and read something new? Nah.

Bella was about four chapters deep into Jane Austen's _Mansfield Park_ when the phone rang. Surprisingly, it was Jacob.

"Bella," he sounded really glad to hear her voice. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine, Jake." Bella managed not to wince. Jacob had more right than just about anyone to ask about her injury. "It's just a few stitches, and they'll be out in a couple of days."

"Good, I'm glad to hear it. I'm really sorry it happened, Bella. I should have been more careful."

"It's alright, Jake. This kind of thing happens to me all the time. It's really me that should be more careful."

"It's completely my fault. I can't believe I've sent you into the emergency room twice."

Bella laughed. Jacob was really remorseful and it made him sound years younger than he actually was. "Well, learn to pay better attention to your surroundings, young man, or you may never be allowed to come over for dinner again."

Jacob chuckled. "You really gave me a scare, you know."

"I guess I did. I just don't really like the sight of blood. Least of all my own."

"I guess I don't like the sight of your blood either."

"Then we're even."

"Not remotely. I really would have liked to have gone to the hospital with you, and I'm really sorry I didn't."

The idea made her pale with horror. Billy and Jacob in the waiting room while she was being stitched up would have been the last thing she wanted. "It was just a few stitches. I wouldn't have expected you to be there."

"Well, I wanted to, but Dad wouldn't let me go with you and Charlie." Jacob scoffed, as if he still couldn't believe it. Bella had the feeling that she was missing something.

"I'm glad you didn't, but why would Billy say no?"

"He's a superstitious old man. I never really minded it so much until you- until recently."

"He has a superstition about hospitals?" Bella was completely dumbfounded.

"No, not about the hospital. But it's true that Dad won't go near that hospital, and he's made sure that I'm not to go there either. Most of the tribe is actually following his lead, as though he were still chief and they didn't have a choice. Some superstitions are just plain ridiculous, but it's worse when people actually believe them."

"Jake, I'm completely lost here." There was a touch of impatience.

"Most of the Quileutes won't go to the hospital since Dr. Cullen started working there. I thought your Dad must've told you?"

_What on Earth? Dr. Cullen? _"Charlie never mentioned anything."

"Huh. Your Dad and mine fought over it for a while, especially when it means that Dad has to travel for his appointments when he could just go into Forks. They'd only just started hanging out again about a month or so before you came home."

Bella thought this was just about the weirdest thing she'd heard. "Maybe they figured that ignoring the issue was the best way to stay friends."

"I guess. That makes sense." Jacob sounded thoughtful, as though this was a new concept to him. "Hey, listen, I've got to go."

"Wait!" Bella spoke a little too loudly, and then felt embarrassed. "Um, what's the problem with Dr. Cullen?"

"I'll tell you some other time. I told you once already, actually, a long time ago, but I've got to run now."

"A long time ago? Jacob, the Cullens just moved here."

There was laughter, with his final word, as if he realized that he was teasing her and liked it. "Bye!" With a click, he was gone.

Bella frowned at the phone as she pressed it off. "What the…"

**(~*~)**

The conversation with Jacob had so thrown her that when Bella was back at the hospital the following Tuesday to get her stitches removed, her eyes kept flickering over Carlisle wondering what it was about him that had Billy's stockings all in a twist.

_Oh, ouch. _Remembering that Billy didn't have working legs anymore made Bella wince at her thought. Idioms could really suck sometimes.

"Am I hurting you, Miss Swan?" Carlisle knew that his touch was gentle, but the girl wasn't sitting comfortably and the wince had made him speak out.

"No, not at all." Refocusing, Bella gave Carlisle a warm smile. It made her chocolate eyes shine in a way that really made Carlisle want to know what was disturbing the girl. "I'm just distracted, I guess."

"May I ask what by?" Carlisle continued his oh-so-gentle ministrations, careful not to make eye contact with her again. If she answered him, he wanted to be sure that it was of her own volition.

Bella wasn't really sure how she could answer. _I want to know what's wrong with you, doctor. A good family friend seems to be spooked._

Bella shook her head. "It's nothing. Just silly thoughts."

Eyes still focusing on her fingers, Carlisle spoke again to encourage her. "Silly thoughts can be very worth getting distracted by."

Bella couldn't help but grin at the top of his golden head, a small half-chuckle audibly demonstrating her amusement. _Seriously, there was nothing wrong with this guy._

Still, Bella couldn't think of anything quickly enough to cover with. So she turned the tables on him. "For instance?"

Carlisle was pleased that he'd been able to get a positive reaction out of her. He felt her body relax next to him as she stopped shifting as much. Looking up, he saw her warm brown eyes resting in a face that still carried some tension. She wasn't sharing, but she was making the effort to be more at ease.

"Oh, I don't know. Sometimes I wonder what some of my favorite authors would think of the changing times if they'd lived through them. It serves no real purpose, but it can keep my mind sharp focusing on bending philosophies."

"Wow." Bella hadn't been expecting such a highbrow answer. "I was defining silly as something more along the lines of frivolous. Like being at the beach and imagining the sun sparkling on the water is really dozens of little diamonds waiting to be scooped up."

"Sounds like that was a childhood memory."

"It was," Bella nodded, thinking about the beach as the doctor's chilled fingers continued hold hers while he worked. There was something she should remember about playing on the beach… but it wasn't coming to her. Hey, the beach! Here was her opening! "Have you ever been down to La Push, Doctor?"

"No, I haven't." His tone changed. It was still light, but it seemed somewhat more guarded.

"Don't you like to swim?"

Carlisle smiled, picturing the English Channel. "Actually, I am quite an excellent swimmer. Though it's true that I hardly ever go in the water these days."

"I haven't yet since I've been back. Though don't ask me why, living these California-sun days as we have been."

"You must miss the sun."

"Yes." _Shoot! We're getting off track! _"I should go to La Push soon, though, and visit the Blacks. Maybe I won't get hurt if I visit them for a change." Bella peered at Dr. Cullen, who was looking down again. "Do you know Jacob's Dad, Billy? Or any of the other Quileute elders?"

"I can't say that I do." Dr. Cullen's answer was monotone, neither friendly nor unfriendly, but Bella got the impression that further exploration of the topic would not go well. What on earth was going on with Dr. Cullen and the local tribe? Why would they not come to the hospital? Why would Dr. Cullen not go to La Push? These questions kept spinning around in Bella's head with no answer as the doctor finished with removing her stitches.

"Almost good as new." Carlisle smiled at her, wanting to be sure he didn't leave their interaction on a bad note. Yet the girl was distracted again, frowning at her own thoughts. "Miss Swan?"

"Oh," Coming up with an easy fib, Bella looked at him and smiled. "I was just pondering, what _would_ Jane Austen think about the role of women today, and how it has changed the constraints of romantic relationships that existed in her time."

**(~*~)**

It was April and prom was around the corner. At the lunch table with the usual group, Bella was inundated with prom talk by the incessant chatter of Jessica and Lauren. The subject of conversation had gradually but surely separated the kids on the table: girls on one end, boys on another. Bella would much rather have found herself on the other end, but wedged between Angela and Jessica she hadn't found an opportunity for escape. At least Angela wasn't creating a buzz in her ear, and through that side of her brain Bella had a chance to think clearly.

Unfortunately, that led to noticing that Mike was watching her from the other end of the table. Mike and Eric _both_ were watching her.

"Bella, do you want to come with?" Jessica asked.

"To Port Angeles?" Bella hadn't been completely able to block out the conversation. "Sure, I need to get some books."

"She meant for prom dresses," Lauren clarified, her tone a little harsh.

"Yeah, I'm more than happy to help you guys look, but I'm not going to the prom."

There was silence. Even the boys weren't talking. Mike looked dumbstruck.

"Not going?" Jessica's voice raised in pitch.

"I don't dance. I can barely keep my feet underneath me as it is."

"You don't have to dance."

"Jess, let Bella alone. I'd be happy to have her along to get her opinion," Angela spoke softly.

"Well, this is ironic." Lauren twirled a lock of her curly blond hair. "I'm going to the prom, but not to Port Angeles. Bella's going to look for dresses, but she's not going to the prom."

"Why aren't you going to Port Angeles?" Bella asked. Clearly, she had missed part of the conversation.

"My mother still hasn't lifted the ban on P.A." Lauren shrugged. "She got freaked by some article she read about a blond waitress getting hurt, and I haven't been allowed there since. She's gonna take me to Seattle to look for a dress next weekend."

"I'll go with you," came the fervent vow from the best friend. Lauren smiled at Jessica gratefully. "Besides, maybe I won't find anything tonight. They should have restocked since the Spring Dance, but you never know."

**(~*~)**

Edward Cullen glanced at the caller ID when the cell phone rang. Only six people had his number, and he was with one of them.

"Hello, Alice," he answered.

"I'm calling in a favor, piano man," Alice started with no preamble. Edward listened to her story in increasing shock. Yet, she cut him off or gave vague answers whenever he asked questions. Rosalie had her eyes on him, listening keenly.

Irritated, Edward spat at Alice. "If this is so important to you, then why don't you do it yourself?"

"Why, Edward," Alice's innocent voice carried clearly. "I'll have school in the morning."

The conversation over, Edward slid shut his phone.

"Sounds like Alice has just found me exactly my kind of guy," Rosalie said, eyes gleaming with anticipation.

**(~*~)**

Alonzo Caderas Wallace was beginning to itch again. It had been almost two months since the last time he'd had some fun, and he just needed it again. It used to be that months would go by, the first time a little over a year, before he'd feel the urge. Now it had only been just over five weeks.

Sure, he had satisfied himself with a few whores here and there. In this podunk state he found himself a loose woman who didn't expect much and didn't ask questions. He figured she knew better. She'd been beat by her husband before he'd stumbled drunk into the ocean and drowned himself. She was a woman who knew how to take a good beating. Too bad she was only good for an appetizer, the trailer before the movie came on.

No, he needed to find himself someone tonight. That blond bitch with her waitress apron had been recent, but it was just too long ago. He remembered the way the tiny apron had looked while it was shoved above her waist. The way that it had looked when he'd used the strings around her throat. He should have taken it with him as a souvenir.

Too bad some of his guys had weaseled out. Jeff and Tommy took off before the fun was over, but Tommy not until after he'd jerked off watching him pump her. They were pussies. Cliff, however, had stuck with him until the end, holding the girl's arms down while he strangled her with her own apron strings. Remembering the fear in her eyes, he had to adjust himself.

He'd been nearly caught twice before. The first was in his home state, Oklahoma, with a girl he'd known in high school. She had been his first rush, so he treasured her for that. However, he'd been sloppy. Hey, it was his first time; give a guy a chance. He'd gotten better, but then he'd been sloppy in Texas. Nearly got caught again in Houston. It had been time to move on.

Soon he'd have to move on from here, too. This podunk city in this podunk state was too small a pool for him. Maybe he'd take Cliff with him when he left again.

Alonzo thought of the blond, and the redhead he could have with the press of a button on his phone.

Yeah, he'd call Cliff. Maybe together they could find a brunette.

**(~*~)**

Jessica already had Angela with her when she arrived in her hand-me-down Oldsmobile to pick up Bella. She drove faster than Bella was used to, but then at that point she had only herself in the ancient truck and her poky father to compare to. Renee never drove if she could help it. They reached Port Angeles in just over an hour.

It was the first girls' night out in ages that Bella had gone on, and her spirits had lifted as Jessica had zoomed away. Jessica jabbered on about why it was such a good idea to go to the prom, while Angela slightly encouraged. Jess was hoping to go with Mike, as they'd gone together to the last dance. Angela was happy to be going with Ben this time around. He'd asked her the last week. Jessica was too mundane to pick up on it, but Angela's face had a special little glow when she mentioned it. Bella was very happy for her, and would definitely help to find her something to look beautiful in.

Bella hadn't shared with anyone that Mike had cornered her in Biology and asked if it was true that she didn't have any intention of going to the prom. "I'd be happy to take you, if you're worried about being alone," Mike had said almost shyly, revealing that it was more than a casual offer. Bella had assured Mike that she had absolutely no intention of attending what would be for her a personal horror come to life. She'd also nudged him a little toward Jessica's way. Bella wasn't one for playing matchmaker, but if it made Jessica happy and got Mike off her back, she wasn't opposed to dropping a hint.

Jess drove straight to the one department store that the bay-town boasted. Jess immediately found a small strapless black dress. That's it, done, decision made. Surprisingly, Angela took a bit more time. Bella and Jessica played audience and critics as Angela modeled gowns. While Jessica pushed for a sleek blue that had a slit going up to the knee, Bella agreed with Angela's final choice: a simple deep red with spaghetti straps and a matching wrap. Bella thought it brought out the subtle exotic beauty in her friend's face.

The girls moved on to look for shoes. Bella expected Jess to be just as decisive, but unfortunately just about every pair of shoes there came in black, and Jess had to try them all on. Angela quickly found herself a pair of sandal-straps, and together they both waited on Jessica. Bella began to get a bit antsy to move on the to bookstore, when Jessica started putting the pressure on her to try some on just for fun.

"Oh, my god, aren't these fabulous? You've got to try these on for me, Bella!"

Bella stared at the hot purple 4-inch heels with straps that went up the ankles, and gulped. "Y'know, I think I'm going to find that bookstore."

"Wait, we'll go with you." Angela, ever steadfast, wasn't comfortable with the idea of Bella going off on her own.

"No, that's okay. You don't know what I can get like when I'm in a bookstore. I'd prefer to do it alone."

"Are you sure? Jessica won't be much longer and we can all walk down the bay together afterwards."

Bella laughed. "I'm sure, I'll probably still be ensconced by the time you and Jess are finished touring the bay. Why don't I just meet you at the restaurant we passed in about two hours?"

"Oh, let her go, Ang. I remember what Bella was like when she first turned to books. We'll just be standing around bored."

_Ouch_, Bella thought. _If that wasn't a reminder about being eight years old again…_

"I wouldn't be bored." Yet, Angela saw on Jessica's face there was absolutely no chance that she'd be able to sit still while Bella toured and she found herself a nice Nora Roberts to read. Angela sighed, weighing the warring needs. Jessica would probably just be a pain in the ass at the bookstore. Facing Bella, she took on a tone that unconsciously mimicked her mother's: "An hour and a half."

"Done." Bella held up her fingers in a Boy Scout oath. Then she was out the door and free.

**(~*~)**

Sitting on the folding chair in his dump of an apartment, Alonzo looked at his cell phone again. _Where the fuck was Cliff?_

His foot tapped erratically against the floor; his hands clenched and released. He itched. He needed to get his next fix, and he needed it bad. He wanted to hear some whimpers, feel female flesh trembling in his hands. He wanted the feel and sound of fabric ripping under his fingers.

Alonzo remembered how he'd bit the blond waitress when he came, his teeth tearing into the flesh of her shoulder. There'd been blood, and his tongue had lapped at it, savoring it while his seed spilled into that dry pussy. That had been new, and exciting. He wanted to taste blood again, again while his body trembled with pleasure.

_Forget Cliff_, he decided, standing and heading out his door.

**(~*~)**

"Alice, what is it?" Carlisle spoke first, though he and Jasper were both the first to notice the change in her face. Esme and Maggie stopped what they were doing and turned.

Alice looked at them all, eyes focusing, though the urgent tension remained in her expression. "They're not going to get there in time." Swiftly, she grabbed Jasper's hand and was up and running. "Come, Jazz!"

**(~*~)**

It had been more than an hour and a half. Twilight had already fallen by the time Bella left the used bookstore she had found. Originally Bella was at a new age bookstore, where Jessica's directions led her. She'd barely hovered on the threshold before moving on. It was ironic that she actually found what she was looking for on the bay where Jessica and Angela intended to window shop. She half expected Angela to show up and check on her, dragging Jessica behind.

Bella tucked the three paperbacks into a pocket of her purse before draping the strap across her body, resting it on the left shoulder. She wasn't completely oblivious to the fact that she was alone in an unknown town, so the common sense safety precaution was easy. Looking up and down the street, Bella figured that she had come in the long way around, and the best direction to go would be to take a new path and head south.

**(~*~)**

Buzzing against his hip, the cell phone signaled an incoming call. Alonzo wasn't stupid enough to waste good money on a ringtone that would bore him after a month, and he certainly wasn't stupid enough to have the ringer on while he stalked in the shadows. "Pisshead, where are you?"

"Lonnie, chill, I'm nearly to your place now," Cliff answered. No need to tell Lonnie that he'd been held up by a phone call from his chatty sister. Who cares if she was pregnant again with brat number three?

"Well, I'm not at my place. Think I'd wait around hours for you?" Alonzo was tempted to just tell Cliff to piss off, but that idea of trapping the waitress he'd had last month had worked out well. He'd need at least one other person to do it again. "Come meet me by the bay, you know the warehouse."

**(~*~)**

"Since when do you drive so slow?" Alice wasn't usually this snappish, but the tension vibrated off of her in such strong waves that Jasper knew not to take it personally.

"Since when is one hundred and twenty miles per hour slow?" Jasper smiled at the love of his life and attempted to calm her down. "You just make sure we don't get caught, darlin'."

Relaxing slightly, Alice nodded.

**(~*~)**

Crossing another road, Bella realized that she'd gone in the wrong direction. Others she'd seen on the street had been heading north. That really should have been her first clue. The buildings here were mostly warehouses or closed businesses. Bella decided to turn east and loop back up to the boardwalk, hopefully.

**(~*~)**

_Aw, she was a sweet little thing._ Long brown hair hanging untidily about her shoulders. As the light from the side of the building caught her, he could see her countenance more clearly.

_A heart-shaped face,_ he thought to himself. _God, I love me a heart-faced bitch._ He remembered the way his hands held against such cheeks before as he rammed himself into the mouth. He could picture the wide-eyed fear as he did it to this girl. Oh, he had to have her. This one was his.

He made a motion towards Cliff and together they stepped out of the shadows to meet up with the teenaged brunette on the sidewalk.

**(~*~)**

Two guys were on the sidewalk, coming out from an alley between two of the buildings. They weren't dressed business-like enough to be leaving one of the offices. They were young, early twenties, one dark and one sandy-haired fair. The fair one was laughing as the darker one said something to him. Bella moved to the inside to give them enough room to pass.

"Hey, there," the sandy-haired one smiled at her as they nearly brushed shoulders on the narrow walk.

"Hello," Bella murmured politely. Her eyes flickered to the other man, and the intensity of his gaze had her pulse suddenly beating a little faster. Bella quickly looked away and quickened her pace. She was up the hill and around the corner before she slowed and tried to breathe again. Something about that second guy had definitely creeped her out. She couldn't wait to get back to Jessica and Angela.

As she continued, she realized that she wasn't approaching the boardwalk like she'd hoped. She was lost, and this was the worst time to be lost. She stopped and looked around her, trying to figure out better bearings, and froze. The dark-haired man was about twenty feet behind her, and he was alone. He must have ditched his friendly companion to follow her.

Her throat went dry as Bella kept walking on, in the direction she'd originally intended, as if she knew exactly where she was going. The idea crossed her mind quickly to drop her purse for the creep and run for it. It was rejected because she didn't know where she'd run to, and she was pretty darn sure from the look in the dark one's eyes that it wasn't her purse that he wanted.

Bella took the next turn, but corrected herself. It was a blind, leading to the back of a building. The dark one behind knew now that she didn't have a clue where she was. Walking as fast as she could without actually running and causing herself to trip, Bella prayed for the next corner to be less empty, and leading to somewhere.

It was. The dank alley was dark; two bricked windowless walls lined the alley that held one other person. The dark one's companion. Bella didn't think that he was so friendly now. They'd deliberately herded her.

Bella darted for the other side of the road, but it was a wasted effort. They both quickly gave chase, and being closer, the dark one caught up to her first. He grabbed her right wrist and twisted it behind her back. His left arm came across her, pressing her left arm to her side and pulled her against his torso. His breath stank of whiskey as he breathed across her face. "I forgot to say hello back there. Didn't want you to think me rude."

"Oh, not at all. Don't know why you'd think I'd find you rude."

The man behind her laughed as the man in front of her chortled. Bella used the moment to test the man's grip on her wrist. As she remembered, she could twist her wrist to grab hold of his own, and then yank it behind him. He was obviously stronger than her, his left arm held her tight, and as though he had sensed her thought, his hand squeezed harder around her wrist. Bella let out an involuntarily grunt of pain.

"You're such a small thing, you know. Nice tiny wrists I can wrap my fingers around. Wonder what else we can find to hold on to."

As if taking a cue, the man in front of Bella moved closer, his eyes anticipating as he reached a hand up to cup her breast. Bella felt her throat go dry.

"Bella!" A voice Bella didn't recognize came from the top of the alley where the partner had made his appearance. The sudden unexpectedness of it made the man's hand drop before he touched her. "There you are!" Bella couldn't believe her eyes when she saw Alice Cullen walking down towards her.

"Alice, no. Run away!"

Alice kept walking down as though she hadn't heard, stopping just short of the threesome. "Jasper and I have been looking for you. We figured you got lost."

Jasper emerged from the shadows right beside Alice. "Looks like," he said, eyes holding steady on the men around Bella. His voice held a sort of darkness that Bella had never heard before. Her heartbeat quickened even more, and she could feel it pounding in her throat. Jasper's eyes seemed to flicker over to her for a second, but no, she must have imagined it. His gaze, as well as Alice's, never moved away from the two men. "Best you move along and leave Bella with her friends."

The other man had already taken a step or two away as soon as Jasper had arrived. Now he seemed to have made up his mind. "Hey, guy, no harm done."

The dark one behind her didn't seem too happy that his back up was backing up. "That's right, no harm done." The leer in his voice belied the mildness of his words. "We just wanted to get to know your Bella a little better is all."

_I think I know you as well as I would ever want to, creep._ Bella kept the thought to herself, not wanting to give him an opening, and definitely not wanting to antagonize him. Yet, he was outnumbered, especially since his friend was easing off. _Let me go_, Bella thought instead. _Just let me go._

Alice and Jasper had moved in, and now were on either side of Bella and her captor. It was unnerving, for their eyes had never left the face of the man above her the entire time. Bella felt very grateful that they were on her side. Alice looked down to meet Bella's gaze. They stood eye-level to each other. She extended her hand, "Come, Bella."

Somehow, miraculously, the man's grip on her eased, and Bella was loosened enough to break free and grasp Alice's hand. There was a coolness in her touch that, even through the adrenaline rush, caught Bella's attention. Alice quickly walked her up the alley, and wanting to get away from there as fast as possible, Bella had no trouble keeping up with the pace Alice set. Jasper was soon on her other side, hand on her upper arm.

_Must be his longer legs_. Confident that the men weren't following, and definitely not wanting to see them, Bella didn't look back.

Before Bella knew it, they were on the boardwalk, and there were snatches of people walking here and there. Bella relaxed, the tension leaving her as soon as she felt the increase in population. Jasper and Alice both let go of her at the same time, and Bella shivered at the change in temperatures. Their grasps were even cooler than Dr. Cullen's. Then again, he had always touched her at least through a pair of latex gloves.

"Thank you," Bella said to them both. "Seriously. I don't want to think about what almost just happened back there." She was surprised at how hoarse her voice sounded. She felt so safe now, why wasn't her voice back to normal?

Jasper nodded at her politely. Alice smiled. "No problem, Bella."

Bella didn't know what to do. Should she hug them? Jasper didn't look like he'd welcome that. Shake their hands? It felt weird to introduce herself; they all obviously knew who each other were.

"Did you come to Port Angeles with someone, Bella? Or are you here alone?"

"No," Bella shook her head. "No, I'm here with Jessica Stanley and Angela Weber. They're, ah, waiting for me at La Bella Italia."

"Do you know how to get there from here?" Alice seemed to want to help, though there was some sort of distance in her voice. It was obvious that this was going to be the end of their interaction, and they wouldn't exactly be hanging out together at school the next day. Jasper remained stoically silent.

Bella looked around. "I think so, but, ah-" She felt terrible asking for more of their help. They clearly wanted to get gone. Unconsciously, her hand rubbed the bruise on her wrist. "Ah, after my last effort in direction, I'm not too confident."

Smiling, Alice simply took Bella's forearm again and started guiding her down the streets. Jasper trailed behind. Bella remained silent. She didn't know what to say to these two beautiful people that she had always wanted to know better. The situation was more than awkward. Why didn't they seem to want to socialize? They probably didn't want her going hysterical, or plastering them with gratitude. Well, she wasn't about to do either.

Jasper walking a few paces behind them actually made her uncomfortable. Was he playing bodyguard? Or did he just dislike her that much? Cautiously, she looked over her left shoulder at him. His golden eyes met hers, though his expression never changed.

_Wait. What?_ Bella couldn't believe what she was seeing. Jasper had golden eyes, just like Dr. Cullen's and Alice's. Hadn't they been black before? Quickly looking away, Bella turned to the more friendly face of Alice. "It's really nice of the two of you to help me." Then, God help her, she went for the lame conversation topic starter. "You're Alice and Jasper, right? I know your - I know Dr. Cullen. A little."

Alice simply nodded at her. "Do you like Carlisle?"

_What a bizarre question. Was there actually something wrong with the doctor, and his foster kids knew about it?_ "Yeah, he's a really nice guy."

Alice gave her a winning smile, her eyes shining. "Yes, he is." For a moment Bella felt a strong familiarity with Alice, as though they were fast friends. Then she noticed Alice's eyes. They weren't gold anymore. They were black, black like Jasper's had been. _What the hell?_

"Did you get contacts recently?" Bella asked the question openly, as if she weren't directing it at just one of them.

Alice laughed. She actually laughed. "No. It's dark tonight." Well, that was as clear as mud. Alice answered as though she were lying by telling two separate truths. Suspicion rose heavily, though of what, Bella couldn't quite put her finger on. _Maybe there was something wrong with all of the Cullens. They all had weird eyes and cold skin. The way Alice and Jasper had appeared out of nowhere._

"Hey, how did you guys happen to come to that alley?"

Bella didn't get an answer. "Look, we're here." Alice spoke to divert Bella's attention. "There's Angela."

Sure enough, Angela hovered in the doorway to La Bella Italia, looking anxiously up and down the street. When she saw Bella she squealed with relief and came rushing down the two cement steps to hug her, not mindful of her company and the cool hand that slid away. Bella felt a wave of calm envelop her along with Angela's arms. It was damn good to see her.

"Bella, where have you been? I've been so worried!"

"I got lost." Bella decided to not tell the whole truth. "It was actually kind of scary. I'm glad to be back here. Really." Bella gave Angela another hug, taking comfort. When she straightened and stepped away, she discovered that it was just the two of them in front of the restaurant. Alice and Jasper were gone.

Angela also looked around. "And the Cullens saw you and got you here?" Bella nodded. "That's good of them. I've always thought that they were nice. Too bad they left."

"They kind of keep to themselves, don't they?"

"Yeah. Come inside. Jess is keeping our table, and I managed to convince her not to order until you arrived. That whole story about why Lauren couldn't come had her worried, too, a little. I'm so glad you're safe."

_Me, too,_ Bella thought, and looked around her again as Angela led her inside. It was two rapidly sucked down glasses of soda later that her brain began to clear a little more. There was definitely something going on with the Cullens, and she was going to find out what.

**(~*~)**

Alonzo watched the girl walk away with her friends, still not sure why he had backed down. He turned to Cliff, and then turned even more, nearly doing a three-sixty. Cliff was gone.

"Cliff, where - oof," Alonzo cut off as he felt himself grabbed. He was moving fast, held tight by the throat in an icy grip. He clawed at the fingers, feet kicking in the air as the speed made his legs fly out. This wasn't possible. _What the mother-fucking hell was going on?_

He felt himself thrown to the ground, dirt and tar scraping the skin of his face and hands. "Who are you?" he called to the darkness. He was lying behind a car. The trunk was open. "What the fuck is this?"

The hand grabbed him by the throat again. He was tossed into the trunk, landing roughly on a tire iron. He was sure he felt it cut through his shirt and into his back. A shape loomed over him, and he held up his hands loosely.

"Edward." A seraphic female voice came out of the black night. It was full of warning, a command to stop.

"That scent…" the looming shape spoke harshly, greedily, and the predator knew within the cold running through his veins what it was to be prey.

A female hand lashed out against the side of Alonzo's head, knocking him unconscious before slamming the trunk shut.

* * *

**A/N: ****So, we got a peak of Edward and Rosalie far earlier than I expected to write one. Those of you who have read Midnight Sun know that it was actually *~*~*~*~ who kidnapped Alonzo, but this serves the purposes of my story more. I will say that Edward and Rosalie do with him exactly what *~*~*~*~ did in canon. If you haven't read Midnight Sun, you'll find out later when Edward and Rosalie reappear in the story after Bella and the Cullens get together.**

**This was my first attempt at writing some thriller action. So, I'm really interested in knowing what you thought, if you'd like to take the time to jot down a line or so.**

**Just for fun, I posted links to the girls' dresses on my profile. **

**On a different note: Ladies, please know how to defend yourself. A dramatic turn down a dark alley with rescues from vampires is not real life, but creeps like Alonzo and Cliff are. Keep your body strong, your mind alert, and take precautions. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: A thing that I realized that is different about fanfiction writing as opposed to any other: you write to an audience that already knows the secret. If this was a brand-spanking new story, I would not have ended this chapter with the tease that I do.**

**Speaking of teasing, please trust that all your plot-related questions will get answered! I will not leave the reader out of the story. ;)**

**I am looking for a beta to help me with story plot, character development and idea presentation. It's rather difficult to sort through over 3,000 Twilight betas after you've already narrowed the search definitions. If anyone out there is willing to look over my chapters, tell me where things are weak or unclear, and catch the typos that I miss, I will be forever grateful! Send me a PM if you are interested or have any suggestions. :)**

**This chapter is a step away from action, and a return to character and plot. It's short, but good. Enjoy!**

* * *

~*~ Chapter Five ~*~

Carlisle found Alice in the dining room, where she was already waiting for him. A massive English oak table, long enough to seat twelve, dominated the room. Carlisle had crafted it himself, as a gift. Esme and Maggie had both been very pleased. It seated more than were actually in the family, but the symbolism of unity had been what mattered most. As time passed, it became natural that no one sat at either the head or the foot. Though he was unofficially head of the family, Carlisle valued that sense of equality. It was at this table where the Cullen family met to have discussions, if needed. This afternoon, it was just he and Alice.

"Alice," Carlisle approached congenially, "how are you?"

Angling her head, Alice looked up and smiled at him. "I'm fine, Carlisle." Carlisle did not need Maggie's intuitiveness to see the sincerity in her words. He nodded, pulling out a chair to sit down beside the small girl. Sitting beside each other, they made a pale and beautiful picture. The virile male, sun-kissed hair topping an impressive figure clothed in wrinkle-free business casual. Beside him, the delicate-boned female, chopped brown hair in stylish chaos, a classy fashion plate of teenaged beauty.

After sliding into the seat so that he was angled toward Alice, Carlisle spoke. Knowing her better than to gradually introduce the conversation, he was up front. "You know that we are beginning to worry about you. Esme and I have both become concerned, especially after you and Jasper ran out of here like that."

"I know I left rather suddenly, but I trusted everyone to understand that I didn't have time to stop and explain. Carlisle, you know better than anyone what it is to not want to see someone hurt." Alice might be playing defensive, but her tone still remained kind and sincere. Carlisle felt that he recognized the technique. Whether she was doing it deliberately or not, it was clearly Carlisle's own influence. After several years together, it was unsurprising that Alice should know him so well. Carlisle felt a quick swell of gratitude and affection for his family.

"True," he answered Alice, "but your interest in this schoolmate of yours is the reason why we're talking, not your neglecting to stop and explain yourself. You know that you're perfectly free to make your own decisions, Alice. It's not a bad thing to see you emotionally involved in the well being of one of your classmates, but you also know that it can be dangerous for us as a family. We do not mix too closely with the townsfolk, Alice, for good reasons that I should not have to remind you of."

"You don't need to remind me, Carlisle." Alice laid her hand on his, a careful gesture of affection before making eye contact. Her newly gold again eyes met his with a significance that weighted her next words. "It is important that this girl remain alive. I did what I could to make certain of that."

"By involving Edward and Rosalie." Carlisle's displeasure and disappointment at the direction Alice had taken was evident, and he didn't bother to hide it. His own gold eyes had already begun to darken towards hungry black. "You went to them before coming to me."

"Don't worry, Carlisle!" Alice interjected, almost laughing her voice was so light. Her amused reaction made Carlisle pause and reassess. "I gave them your advice and I'm certain they followed it."

"Alice, I didn't give you any advice."

"No, but I know what you would have suggested if I had asked." The hand that she had just laid on his now squeezed his upper arm reassuringly. "It really was a matter for them to deal with, Carlisle, not you."

"Yes, I understand Rosalie's connection to what would have happened to the girl. That's one of the reasons why I have been worrying." Carlisle's hesitation was very quick; only a member of his family would have caught it. "However, if you say that they did not do anything that I would not have approved of, then I trust you. Yet, what of this girl, Alice? How much did she see? What do you plan to do about her?"

"I plan to go on as usual. The only thing she saw were two acquaintances showing up at the right time."

"Nothing at all of Edward or Rose?"

"Nothing." Alice emphasized with a hand gesture. "When they showed, they didn't come close enough for it to be possible for anyone other than me and Jasper to pick up on them. They didn't move until after we'd taken her out of sight and hearing."

"Does she plan on pursuing a relationship with you and Jasper out of gratitude?"

Alice smiled. "No. She's grateful, but caught on easily to the do-not-bother-us vibes that Jasper and I put out." Carlisle snorted at her choice of words, and tugged on a lock of her hair in amusement. Cheekily, Alice shook her head out of his grasp before continuing. "Also, she wants to put the incident behind her and forget about it."

Carlisle frowned. "I do not blame her for that. Though I wonder if it is healthy for her state of mind. What is this girl's name? Perhaps I should speak with her, make sure she's alright."

"No." Alice's refusal came quick and firm, causing Carlisle to raise his eyebrows at her. "If you are concerned about her dealing with it, it's best to let her alone. Speaking to her will not be of help."

Carlisle nodded. "I suppose you are right. Also, it would draw her attention to us, which is exactly what I would avoid."

Alice said nothing.

Carlisle placed his hand on Alice's slim shoulder. The paleness of his skin stood out against the dark navy of her shirt. "Our family does not keep secrets, Alice, and you have been notably silent about who this girl is and why she has piqued your interest. I will not ask what you are not willing to tell, but I just need to know one thing. Does this girl pose a threat to our family?"

"No." Alice's gaze was steadfast. "This girl will never be a threat to us. In that I am absolutely confident."

Carlisle smiled and squeezed Alice's shoulder. "I know that your gift can be a burden at times, and I recognize that it might war with the openness with each other that we have in this family. I want you to know that I trust you, Alice. I might not understand what you're doing, but I know you well enough to believe you're acting for the best."

In an ever so delicate and unexpectedly vulnerable movement, Alice tilted her head and rested her cheek against the hand that rested on her shoulder. "Thank you. Our family means as much to me as it does to you. You are the only father I have ever known, Carlisle. I love you."

Touched, Carlisle drew his arm entirely over Alice's shoulders and pulled her to him in a hug. Their mutually cold bodies together created a comfortable and familial warmth for them both. "I love you, too, pixie-brat." With those words, Carlisle let go of any worry that Alice's recent actions would cause suspicion in this unknown teenage girl.

**(~*~)**

Once the epiphany came, the weight of registering it as reality made Bella's breath come out in one whispered and heavy word: "_Vampires._"

* * *

**As ever, I welcome anyone willing to take a moment and leave their thoughts. Please review. ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Finally, an update! I hope you find that the wait has been worth the while.**

**My favorite part of Twilight was Stephenie Meyer's description of First Beach. While I used my own words to describe the scene myself, I paraphrased what was written in the original. Stephenie Meyer owns all rights to Twilight.**

**A word of thanks to fellow Bellisle writer December(dot)Eclipse, whose patience and understanding as I struggled with this chapter was outstanding. It's been great to be able to bounce ideas off you, and to have you keep me in line when I went too OOC or vague. Also a shout-out to my friend ItHappened, who also helped me keep things in character for the Charlie opening segment.**

* * *

~*~ Chapter Six ~*~

Bella slid her hands from the upended bottom of the bucket onto its sides. Carefully, so as not to disturb the perfection of what lay underneath, she lifted the plastic blue pail. Packed together sand, moist from the air and the tide that had rushed over it, revealed itself inch by inch. At the very last moment, the top of the sand crumbled.

"Try again," Jacob said to her, scooping more sand into the bucket. Bella hadn't seen him, but she realized and accepted that he'd been helping her in the sand for some time.

"It's just going to keep crumbling." Bella's shoulders sagged with the dispirited words, her eyes remaining on the bucket of sand. "I can't get it to form completely."

Carlisle appeared beside her next. "Try this," he said after the bucket was turned over again. He pressed his hands to it, and the whole bucket glazed over in a frost. Fascinated, Bella lifted the bucket to reveal a smoothly symmetrical sand turret. Carlisle smiled at her, the ocean breeze whipping his hair around his golden eyes. "It can take a little patience."

"You shouldn't be here." Jacob's voice was angry, his eyes looking behind Bella.

"I forgot to say hello." The voice creeped the skin on the back of her neck, and before she could turn Bella felt herself grabbed.

She was no longer at the beach; Jacob and Carlisle were gone. Back in the alley, Bella screamed: "No!" She didn't want to this to happen again, but she couldn't stop him. A hand grabbed her breast and squeezed, even as she thrashed to get away. Bella fought being dragged down to the ground. "No!"

Above her, surrounding her, the dark one grinned. He had sharp-pointed fangs. Bella screamed again.

"Bella!" Bella thought she heard Alice's voice calling her name, as she had done before, but it was too far away.

"Alice!" Bella answered, desperately, begging. Only Alice was nowhere to be seen.

"Bella!" her name sounded again, and it wasn't Alice's voice but Charlie's.

"Charlie?" she asked, confused.

"I'm here," her father answered, and his hand that had been shaking her shoulder turned to stroking as Bella sat up.

"Oh." Still a little fog-headed from the dream, Bella took stock of her surroundings. She was home. Jessica and Angela had dropped her off and after greeting Charlie she'd gone straight to bed, seeking oblivion. She obviously hadn't gotten it. Blinking and rubbing her eyes, Bella let the terror from the dream fade. She'd think about it later. Charlie was beside her, sitting on the edge of her bed. He had a hastily thrown on flannel, not buttoned, and jeans on. He'd clearly just gotten out of bed. "I'm sorry I woke you up."

"It's okay." He looked at her, concerned. "Want to talk about it?"

Bella shook her head. "It was just a dream."

Charlie frowned at his daughter. Bella had always mumbled in her sleep, but he'd never known her to scream. Could be harmless, but he should probably ask Renee if this was something new. Rethinking that, Charlie didn't want to get Renee breathing down his neck about Bella again. Best to keep Bella talking a little more.

"Alright," her father said, giving her shoulder one last stroke before sitting back. "What did you get at Port Angeles tonight?"

"Um," Bella didn't like the abrupt change of subject, or what it reminded her of. "Books." Bella gestured to the table by the bed. A copy of George Bernard Shaw's _Saint Joan_ lay there. Picking it up, Charlie found Dostoevsky's _Crime and Punishment_ and, surprisingly, J.D. Robb's _Vengeance in Death_ underneath.

"Heavy stuff." Charlie picked up Dostoevsky and held it so that it faced Bella. "I've heard of this one." Setting the books back down, Charlie continued casually, "Weren't you supposed to be looking for prom dresses?"

"Just Jessica and Angela were. I'm not going to the prom."

"You're skipping the prom?"

"Yeah, Dad." She looked at him significantly, shifting her eyes to stress her point. "Me, high heels, dancing…"

"Right." Charlie looked at her. "Well, I'm glad you got something out of going to Port Angeles, anyway."

Bella's mind flashed on the alley, and Alice and Jasper coming to her rescue. She definitely got something out of going to Port Angeles, alright. Looking at Charlie, Bella realized that she had a prime source of information sitting on her bed. If her father and Billy had argued about Dr. Cullen, then her father probably had some idea as to what Billy's objection was. Tentatively, Bella created an opening. "I saw Alice Cullen and Jasper Whitlock there, briefly."

"The Cullen kids?"

"You know them, right?"

"Why?" Charlie's eyes narrowed. Charlie had been watching Bella's face, waiting for a sign that something was bothering her to have caused the nightmare. "Nothing happened with them, right?"

"No, not at all." Bella was quick to reassure.

"Good. I had my doubts at first, being teens with troubled pasts, but they are well behaved and polite. Never any problem from them."

"What about Dr. Cullen? You like him, right, nothing against him?" Bella might have hidden her eagerness from someone else, but her father was a seasoned cop who knew her features better than just about anyone. Her eagerness confirmed a suspicion he had.

"Dr. Cullen, huh? Is this what not having any boys on your radar means?"

"Uh…" It took Bella a second to get it, and when she did she almost laughed at Charlie. "No, nothing like that." Too amused, she gave her father a quick punch on the shoulder. "C'mon, Dad. Just because you have a teenage daughter in the house doesn't mean that my hormones are blazing everywhere."

"Not just teenagers. A lot of the nurses at the hospital are known to have a hard time concentrating on their work when he's around."

"Really?" Bella wondered if this had anything to do with why the Quileutes wouldn't go to the hospital. Bella rejected the notion. Dr. Cullen being attractive to the female staff was hardly a reason to justify a tribal snub.

"Uh-huh." Charlie spoke in the same monotone he had used before in the hospital. Knowing what her father was thinking, Bella quickly scrambled to say something that would change his mind.

"Listen, Dad-" she stopped. She couldn't think of anything other than to come clean. After all, it wasn't as if Charlie didn't know that Billy kept Jacob from going to the hospital. "Jacob called the day after I got my stitches. He told me that Billy discourages any of the Quileutes from going to the hospital because Dr. Cullen is there, but he had to hang up before he could tell me why."

"I see." Charlie had gone tense again.

"Do you know why?" Bella asked, not without sensitivity. "Jake said that you and Billy had argued about it."

"No, I don't know why. That's part of the problem. When he wants to, Billy can clam up with the best of them." Charlie paused slightly before continuing. "It's not just Dr. Cullen."

Bella felt her breath hitch. She _knew _it.

"People in this town seem to have a problem with the Cullens being a little different." Charlie went on for one of the longest speeches Bella had ever heard him give. "They're a good family. They came together when things were bad to raise the boy, and they adopted a girl caught in the system. The kids don't cause trouble; they all go camping together every other weekend. We're lucky that they wanted to live in a rural town. Dr. Cullen is a brilliant surgeon that could make ten times the salary that he does here. His sister is a teacher, for heaven's sake. They're good people."

"I guess I can see why you and Billy fought. You think very highly of the Cullens."

"Billy is a grown man who can make decisions for himself, and the rest of the tribe are all fully capable of thinking for themselves. I may disagree with them, but my job is to serve the public, not tell them what to do."

Bella raised an eyebrow. "Did Billy say that to you?"

"He had a point." Charlie stood up, discussion over. Looking at Bella's face, Charlie hesitated. He knew his daughter. She could be very tenacious when something caught her attention. She was like him. Charlie was happy to have his friendship with Billy back on the mend, but… "If you learn anything from Jacob … let me know?"

Bella felt how that request might have cost her father. "Promise."

Charlie nodded. "Alright, then. Get back to sleep. Sunny day, tomorrow."

"I'll believe it when I see it." Bella settled back in under the covers, and Charlie turned out the light. She'd already closed her eyes when her father spoke from the doorway.

"Every kid should go to their prom, Bella. You don't have to dance to be with your friends."

Wow, tonight was full of unexpected Charlie behavior. Bella raised her head to look at her father, silhouetted in the doorframe. "I'll think about it," she answered.

"Good." Charlie started walking out. "Just don't bring Dr. Cullen."

The door was already shut when the pillow hit it.

**(~*~)**

It was indeed sunny when morning came. There had been a few days that held spots of sunlight since she'd arrived, but the bright yellow coming in through the curtain made Bella get out of bed and shove the curtain wide. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. Not one. Bella struggled with the sticking window, but once she got it open she breathed in the fresh spring air as if she'd been locked away for a long time.

It was difficult for Bella to feel anything other than light-hearted with such a start to her morning. She dressed quickly, had a fast and easy breakfast, and drove to school with her windows cracked. The school day proved to reflect that she wasn't the only one to have an extra bit of energy. Laughter in the halls seemed to be double what it usually was, and the boys all seemed to be bouncing off the walls. Bella laughed to herself as she headed towards lunch with Jessica, seeing three guys in a row jump up and slap the top of the open doorframe. Back in Phoenix, she'd had a middle-school teacher who referred to that activity as "puberty hitting."

Jessica herself was a demonstration of another thing that was different when the sun came out in Forks. A lot of the girls had dressed in skimpier clothing, short skirts and spaghetti-strap tees. Sixty-two degrees Fahrenheit might feel warm to them, but Bella was definitely not ready to be exposing so much skin to the elements.

Upon entering the cafeteria, Bella's eyes scanned the large room for Jasper and Alice. While she was pretty sure that they wouldn't exactly be saving a seat for her at their table and that any more thanks would be unwelcome, Bella felt that she should talk to them again. She'd always been intrigued by them and having finally spoken with them the night before, she was determined to pursue the acquaintance. Bella hadn't seen them yet that day, though that was not unusual. All the same, Bella was surprised when they didn't show up for lunch at all. Hitching her bag over her shoulder, Bella frowned as she headed out to Biology.

"What's wrong?" asked Angela, who had caught up to Bella's side.

Looking over, Bella smiled and shrugged. "Just lost in thought." Angela's smiling acceptance of this answer was one of the reasons that Bella liked her so much. Jessica would have pressed or, more likely, have switched to chatter on about a topic much more interesting to her. Just before they reached the door to Biology, Bella broke the comfortable silence. "Are Jasper and Alice both out today?"

"They always are on nice days."

"What do you mean?"

"You talking about the Cullens?" Mike came up behind them. "They're campers, hikers. They're always buying stuff at my dad's store. Whenever it's nice enough to be outside, they hit the trail. School comes second. So does work, I guess." Mike gave a shrug, sliding into his seat at the black table he shared with Bella and Anna. Angela gave them all a quick smile before settling in her seat.

Bella turned to Mike. "Alice and Jasper just get pulled out of school?"

"When the sun comes out you'll only see a Cullen if it's in the woods."

It was an offhand comment, but it bothered Bella. She was only half paying attention to Mr. Banner's lesson as her mind pondered the Cullens all over again. What facts did she have for sure? Using the margin of her notebook, Bella made a list.

* Billy won't go to the hospital because Dr. Cullen works there.

* Dr. Cullen, Alice and Jasper all have cold, pale skin and strange eyes.

* Alice's eyes were gold, then became black.

* Jasper's eyes were black, then became gold.

* Dr. Cullen's eyes have only been gold - so far.

Bella stopped and looked at her list. Surely she had more than that? Pressing the eraser against her chin, Bella focused on the front of the room and listened to Mr. Banner before returning to her list.

* Alice seems to know things.

Bella couldn't help but remember the eye contact they'd had across the parking lot when Tyler got into his accident. There was something about Alice's face, her gaze, that made Bella feel something of the all-knowing about her.

* The nurses can't concentrate around Dr. Cullen.

Bella crossed it out. _She_ had no problem concentrating around him, so her father probably just used it as a phrase; it didn't mean anything. Yet, thinking of her first time meeting Dr. Cullen, she recalled something that had impressed her, though she'd dismissed it.

* Dr. Cullen can move very quickly.

Had that simply been the good reflexes she thought at the time? Somehow, Bella doubted it. The bucket before her had appeared as much out of nowhere as Jasper had the night before. Moving on from the thought, Bella wrote the newest information down.

* Cullens are no-shows on sunny days.

Bella frowned at that line, staring at it before writing down the weirdest part of the whole thing.

* Jake says he already told me about the Cullens years ago.

Now that just didn't make sense. If the Cullens only moved here two and a half years ago, how would Jacob know anything about them to tell her when they were kids? The only way that made sense is if the Cullens had moved to the area before and met the Blacks.

Whoa. Revelation.

* Have the Cullens and the Blacks met before now?

Bella circled the note. It was something to think about. Assuming that it was true, what could Jacob have told her? Bella tried to think back to any memories that she had of Jake.

_Building sand castles on the beach._

Bella almost flinched at the thought, for it reminded her of her dream last night. She wasn't going to think about last night at all. When she caught herself rubbing her right wrist, Bella immediately put her hand in her lap. She looked around to see if anyone had noticed her, but, thankfully, no one was paying any attention to her.

Bella looked back down at her notebook, but her eyes stayed on the purple-red of her wrist. Her skin was pale, which made the blood color of the bruise more prominent. Bella closed her eyes in an effort to stop thinking about the alley. Her efforts were not really successful. She saw Alice appearing at the top of the alley, walking confidently toward her and the men. She saw Jasper appear out of nowhere, and remembered the darkness in his voice, and the men backing off. She could almost feel again the cold that had crept down her neck in the cafeteria the first time she'd felt his eyes on her. Looking back at the paper, Bella picked up her pencil and wrote one questioning word.

* Dangerous?

**(~*~)**

The following day was even more temperate than the day before; the sun still shone and temperatures were even warmer. There were more kids wearing lighter clothing, and the relaxed happy atmosphere had as much to do with the fact that it was Friday as it did with the weather.

At lunch Mike and Eric were quick to hatch up a scheme to go down to La Push after school let out. Bella agreed along with everyone else, and it was decided to meet up at Newton's Outfitters at three-thirty and carpool in Mike's Suburban. As they made their way to Biology, Bella tentatively broached the subject of Alice and Jasper's continued absence with Mike and Angela again.

"They're probably still camping," Angela suggested.

"It's as I said: the sun comes out; the Cullens are gone." Mike grinned at her.

"You aren't seriously saying that no one has seen any of the Cullens in the sunlight?" Trying to sound dubious, Bella was more eager for his answer than she let on. Bella had brought up the Cullens with Charlie the night before in order to ask if they had passed through Forks when she was a kid. She had also mentioned Mike's comment to Charlie, and it had struck him as odd. Particularly when he couldn't recall for certain that he had seen any of the Cullen family when it wasn't overcast. Charlie hadn't been any more helpful in whether Billy and Dr. Cullen had ever met before, either, though he had his doubts.

"Well, no, of course we have." Mike frowned at her. He seemed caught off guard by her question, and his steps slowed. "No, yeah, I think… yeah, I've seen the redhead at the store buying gear."

"Redhead?"

"That would be Maggie, the cousin." Angela explained as they all three passed into the classroom.

"Right, Maggie Whitlock." Mike relaxed, happy to have settled on that memory. Bella found herself doubting whether he actually knew for certain that it was a sunny day when he saw Jasper's older sister. It seemed more as though he had tried to convince himself. Angela, though, hadn't said anything at all. When Bella's questioning eyes turned onto her, Angela just gave a small shake of her head and with a smile, settled in her seat.

_It must be true,_ Bella thought as she slid into her own seat. _No one has seen a member of the Cullen family when the sun is out._

**(~*~)**

There was about forty-five minutes for everyone to go home, grab a snack and possibly change clothes before meeting up at Newton's Outfitters. Bella didn't feel the need to change clothes, but she did grab an unopened bag of chips from the cupboard for everyone, and left a note for Charlie. She stopped at the Thriftway and picked up a few packs of soda, too. Arriving early, Bella was the first one to park at the Outfitters store, but she wasn't alone long.

The group excursion to La Push had come to encompass more than just the crew at her lunch table. Tyler and Ben brought along Conner, while Lauren had included three other girls that Bella hadn't met. Lee had showed up second, driving his mother's minivan, his girlfriend Samantha with him. All together, the group made up fourteen, and they divided themselves between Mike's Suburban and the minivan. Bella was up front, with Jessica squeezed between her and Mike. Angela, Ben, Lauren and the three girls were all in the back. It wasn't too uncomfortable.

Even though Bella had lived in the area for years, the site of the mile-long crescent of the beach could still take her breath away. White caps broke against islands rising steeply out of the water, crowned in evergreens. The beach itself was a thin strip of sand that turned into large multi-colored stones, nature's own mosaic. Salt-bleached driftwood scattered across the tide line. With a forest edging the beach, there were all kinds of places to play and explore. Bella almost felt like she was eight years old again.

Mike led the way to a ring of driftwood logs that was an obvious gathering point that had seen much use before. Eric and Ben gathered broken branches to build up in the fire pit. After using a candle lighter on a small twig, Mike rested it against Eric and Ben's teepee. Licking quickly along the dry wood, the flames danced blue from the salt.

Passing snacks around -Bella hadn't been the only one to bring chips and soda- the group chattered idly. Eric had grabbed Mike's candle lighter and talked about a site he'd seen that described how to turn one into a taser. One of Lauren's friends laughed and shrieked when he jabbed her with it. Bella sat beside Angela, who was idly playing in the sand with Ben. Tyler invaded, and began slapping their mound together, building it up and up. The competition of who could make a higher pile of dirt soon deteriorated into a wet sand fight as Ben and Tyler flung it at each other. Angela and Bella were quick to move out of the way, with Conner, Mike and Eric moving in almost as quickly.

After things settled down there was a lull. Eric complained that it wasn't dark and they couldn't tell scary stories around the fire. Not wanting to let Eric's whining set the mood, Conner proactively proposed a hike to the tidal pools. Bella was standing up to join those who were going when a handful of reservation boys came along to join the group, Jacob among them. As Jake approached, the memory was triggered in Bella. She _had_ built sand castles on the beach with Jacob when she was a kid. There was never any doubt about it, but what really came forward in Bella's mind was the idea of a scary story. Jake had once tried really hard to spook her, and he'd been successful, in part because Rebecca and Rachel had kept trying to shush him, as though he was revealing tribal secrets. He'd ignored his sisters and told Bella anyway about the _cold ones_.

_Cold ones_. _Could it be…?_

"Hey, Bella! Why so quiet over there?" Jacob called to her, walking towards her after his friends had been making introductions all around.

"Hi, Jake." Bella smiled at him, stepping into his open arms. One of Lauren's friend, a girl whom Bella was pretty sure she'd knocked into during gym class, frowned at her.

"Oh, you know each other?" Mike asked, a sort of disappointed surprise on his face.

"Oh, yeah," Jacob hooked his arm proprietarily around Bella's neck. "Bella and I have known each other for a long time."

Bella jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow, and shimmied out from underneath his arm. "Cut it out." Turning, Bella saw that all eyes were on her and Jacob. She smiled. "I used to play with Jake and his twin sisters when I was a kid here."

"Oh," Mike said, eyes appraising Jacob. "Well, we are all about to hike toward the tidal pools. Bella, you still coming with us?"

"Yeah." Bella nodded, eyes on Jacob, obviously inviting him along. Jacob accepted the silent request, and joined in on the hike.

It wasn't too far, though going through the woods was a bit of a drawback for her. Bella regretted losing sight of the sunny sky, and had to be careful where she stepped. She soon fell behind the rest of the group, though Jacob stayed right behind her. Which was useful, as she tripped over a root and would have fallen on her face if Jacob hadn't caught her.

"I've learned to keep an eye on you," he said, laughing as he set her upright.

"Har har."

When they broke through the forest, the rest of the group was scattered across the rocky shore. The tidal river flowed past them on its way to the ocean. The pools were along its banks, surrounded by pebbles and full of oceanic life. Bright anemones, crabs, starfish and even a small black and white eel all waited for the sea to return. Bella and Jacob watched, Bella forgetting for a moment that she had wanted to get Jacob alone. Looking up, she saw that the rest of her friends were far enough away, leaping carelessly about the rocks. "Jake?"

"Yeah?" he answered slowly, her tone of voice making him wary.

Bella looked at him. "I want you to tell me a scary story."

"A scary story, huh?" Jacob's voice didn't give anything away, but his brown eyes showed that he knew what she was getting at.

"Something to do about the cold ones needing to be driven away by the tribe."

"Bella," Jacob said, chidingly, "why do you want to hear about some silly old superstition?"

"Why not? You've told it to me before."

"I wasn't supposed to. It's one of those stories we keep in the tribe only." Jacob turned and walked a step away from her.

This information only made Bella more certain that she was on the right track. Jacob's reluctance was token, and she knew that she could get him to talk with just a little more prodding. "It has to do with the Cullens, doesn't it? With why Billy won't go to the hospital."

Jacob turned and looked at her. "How'd you piece that together?"

Bella took at step closer to him, so that they were almost touching chests. "You said that it was a superstition," Bella spoke softly and intently. "You said that you'd already told it to me long ago. The only story I really remember is the story about the cold ones. The Cullens all have cold, pale skin."

Laughing lightly, Jacob took a step back. "What have you been doing, feeling them up?"

"No. Jacob-" Bella paused and took a breath. "Just tell me, please."

"Okay." Jacob nodded, holding his hands out, palms up. "My father thinks that the Cullens are the cold ones, the same cold ones that legend says met my great-grandfather."

"Wait, whoa." This time Bella was the one that held her hands up. Did Jacob really just say that the Cullens are at least four generations old? "I don't remember anything about your great-grandfather. I just remember… Can we take it from the beginning?"

"Fine." Moving back towards the forest's edge, Jacob sat, arms dangling on his bent knees. "Stories of the cold ones date back to the earliest days of the Quileutes, when the spirit warriors and the wolf were the same. You know that our tribe is supposedly descended from the wolf, right?"

Bella nodded. "I remember that, but you're saying that the wolves were warriors that defended the tribe?"

"Something like that. That's a whole other story, so I'll move on. Women from a neighboring tribe started disappearing, and we lost some of our warriors when we tried to find out what was going on. Eventually, one surviving warrior brought back the dead body of a cold one, in pieces. The warrior, Yaha Uta, spoke of finding the cold one feasting on the body of a maiden. They fought, and the cold one was hard as stone, fast and deadly, killing all Yaha Uta's brothers. Even as he told the story, the cold one's body-"

"Started to reassemble," Bella finished for him. Her hands rubbed the goosebumps on her arms. She remembered this story. "So your ancestors burned the pieces, keeping the ashes in separate bags."

"That's right. Dad still shows me his bag of ashes, handed down through the elders."

"That's creepy."

"You're telling me. I'm supposed to inherit that bag one day."

There was a beat of silence before Bella forced herself to ask the next question. "You said the cold one was feasting on the maiden?"

"Yes. He was drinking her blood. His eyes glowed red from it."

"The Cullens don't have red eyes, though." _Oh God, did their eyes turn red, too?_

"The Cullens are supposedly different. That's why when Ephraim met them, he didn't kill them."

"Ephraim, your great-grandfather?"

"Right. The pack that my grandfather met didn't hunt like other cold ones. They fed from animals instead of humans. 'Civilized.' Not a danger to the tribe. So my great-grandfather made a truce with them. If they stayed off our land, we would never reveal the truth about them to the pale-faces." Jacob winked at her.

"These are the same Cullens?"

"My father thinks so. He says that the boy and girl are different, but the rest are the same."

"How would he know?"

Jacob shrugged. "I'm not sure. Maybe Ephraim wrote a description down in a diary or something."

Bella shook her head. "It's hard to believe that the Cullens could possibly be that old."

Jacob frowned at her. "Bella, you don't actually believe it, do you?"

A clatter of rocks interrupted them; Mike and Conner arrived, the rest not far behind them. "Hey guys, let's get back to the others. Cloud cover is coming in and it's getting late."

Bella looked up and saw that the sky had in fact darkened while she'd been talking to Jacob. It didn't take long once they'd gotten back to pack up and go, for the girls that had remained behind had the same idea to leave. Before they all took off, Jacob gave Bella a quick hug good-bye, at which his friend Quil snickered. Bella was quiet during the drive back to northern Forks and Newton's Outfitters. Did she believe the story about the cold ones? It was ridiculous, and at the same time very familiar. Bella remembered now how much Jacob's story had stuck with her after she first heard it, even after she'd moved away with her mother. Bella even had several dreams about it. Now that she heard the full story, as inexplicable and implausible as it may seem, she did believe it.

Bella was so lost in her thoughts she was barely aware of arriving in the parking lot. Her mind dwelled on the image created by the legend of the cold ones and matched it up with her own mental picture of the Cullens. Cold, pale skin, fast-moving. The ageless knowledge in Alice's gold eyes. Cold, hard, deadly red-eyed bloodsuckers. Once the epiphany came, the weight of registering it as reality made Bella's breath come out in one whispered and heavy word: "_Vampires._"

Luckily for her, no one heard the word as she stepped down out of the Suburban. However, they all turned and looked, for as she stepped out, the weight of her own thoughts caused her to not pay attention. Her ankle twisted the wrong way under her weight and she fell heavily the remaining distance to the ground.

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	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: ****My awful secret is out! It takes a little longer for me to update this story. Please, don't lose interest! This chapter actually took more rewrites than any other chapter I've written so far. Perhaps I'm trying too hard to make it good? **

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~*~ Chapter Seven ~*~

Carlisle's evening shift began just after the sky became clouded. It was interesting how often he had to rely on such luck. Having a precognitive psychic in his family certainly helped such things along. Truthfully, Carlisle never fully understood how Alice's visions, which were based on the ever-changing decisions people made, could predict the weather. Perhaps it was tied into Lorenz's butterfly effect theory. Or it was simply a case of the weather being the same in each scenario that Alice saw.

Dismissing the pondering from his mind, Carlisle made his way into the hospital through the front doors and passed a patient on her way out. She stopped him with a hand on his arm. "Hello, Dr. Cullen."

"Miss Paulsen, hello." The possession of perfect memory made it easy for Carlisle to match a name with a face. Jennifer Paulsen had been in the emergency room once before, almost a month earlier. Carlisle remembered that her condition had been transitory, dysmenorrhea, and he had prescribed a small dosage of Vicodin to help her through.

"Are you just coming on shift?" she asked him, smiling and not removing her hand from his upper arm. Jennifer was a rather plain-featured woman, with mousy brown-hair and excessively applied cosmetics that did little to improve her features. "Or do you have a few minutes? I actually have a question or two that didn't get answered, if you don't mind."

"Of course." Carlisle smiled. The woman's obviousness was not lost on him, but he would never refuse such a small request as to answer a few questions.

"You see, I just can't make these dizzy spells go away." Her hand left his arm to touch lightly against her head. "They come on me all of a sudden, and sometimes last for far too long. I'm worried it might be something worse than just poor diet."

"Dr. Snow is very thorough," Carlisle responded, referring to the physician whom he was relieving. "It couldn't hurt to at least start by following his advice and eating more balanced meals."

"Oh, I didn't see Dr. Snow, just the nurse. That's why I'm glad to see you." Jennifer gave him a slow smile, the cherry-red color of her lips stretching wide. Placing her manicured hand back on his upper arm almost negligently, she spoke again. "It's good to have a doctor around. It's easier for patients like me, _people_ like me, to be reassured, when there's a doctor to help. Don't you agree?" She trailed her fingers slowly down his arm, pure artifice and not hiding it. At thirty-two, her biological clock was ticking, sending her into sexual overdrive. She was a woman on the prowl. "What made you become a doctor, Carlisle?"

Carlisle stepped backward, moving himself out of arm's reach. "I am sure the nurse's advice is sound, Miss Paulsen. Now, do excuse me. I prefer to be on time for the beginning of my shift." He turned and walked away from her.

It was an old game, and a wearying one, to deal with the advances of women, and occasionally men, in each location that he lived in. Yet it was something that he had to put up with, for remaining aloof from human society when he was so capable of assisting them was not an option for him. The tiresomeness began anew, each time his family had to relocate. A new town generated a new intensity of romantic interest, which would peter down after the first year. Yet, Carlisle found it to be a little more tedious when they continued after he'd decidedly refused one and all.

It was an unfortunate liability that his vampirism made him more physically attractive to the human race. A good percentage of humans could feel a subliminal layer of disquiet despite the enticements of his vampire-enhanced allurement. Yet, the pursuit of love was strong enough in humans that they would overcome their discomfort in order to get closer to their goal. Loneliness, and the belief that someone out there could ease it, understand you to your core and accept you, created a strong need indeed. A need that was not lost if one became a vampire.

After over three hundred years, Carlisle was still without a mate. He didn't hide his lack of an attachment when moving on to a new town and creating a new identity, and that opened the floodgates to all those looking for love, or even just physical satisfaction. Carlisle had found neither in the humans he coexisted with. Oh, he might find an opportunity for physical satisfaction with another vampire once in a rare while, but neither vampires nor humans had given him love.

Though there was a time when he had come close. Carlisle had hoped, once, that Esme's presence in his life might stave off the unwanted advances. That she might learn to love him as he had felt he was beginning to love her. Carlisle had actually been in the early stages of courting her when they'd made their trip to Ireland. There, she had met Maggie. He had introduced them, and the moment the two women's eyes had locked, they all knew it was a love match. Maggie had found her soul mate in Esme. The subsequent conversation between himself and Esme had been short and understanding. Standing in the way of true love was not something Carlisle would ever do, and he had genuinely given them both his blessing, learning to love both women as sisters and companions. That he felt some disappointment at an opportunity being lost, an opportunity which might have never truly existed, he kept to himself.

There were no patients to be seen at the start of his shift. As per his usual routine at mimicking human behavior, Carlisle entered the break room. He smiled at its only other occupant, Grace Lloyd-Jenkins. The doughy woman sipped at a mug of hot coffee that she held to her mouth with both her hands. She was a short woman, with salt and pepper hair that nicely complemented her kind eyes. She nodded back at Carlisle in greeting.

"Hello, Grace." Carlisle moved to the coffee pot and poured himself a cupful. He didn't have to sip it to keep up appearances; it would make a good prop. "How are Beth and Duncan doing?"

Beth Lloyd-Jenkins was Grace's only child, and a widowed mother. She had lost her husband to a car accident while in her first trimester. The grief and pain of it had been felt throughout the hospital. Carlisle lamented not knowing whether he would have been able to save Alan Cockburn had he been on duty that day. So he had made sure to be an ear for Grace, offering help and support to the daughter with advice to the mother. Working nights while her daughter worked days, Grace did often speak with Carlisle about her daughter's emotional progress. In one of those private moments, Grace confessed that her daughter bitterly regretted not having taken her husband's name. When the boy had been born, a healthy 8 lbs 10oz, neither Grace nor Carlisle had been surprised when Beth chose the thoroughly Scottish name Duncan Cockburn.

In the nineteen months since that day Beth had habitually brought her infant son in. The woman was nervous about protecting her son, and Carlisle didn't blame her. Single-motherhood had made the typically high-strung woman need soothing more often when it came to the care of her son.

"No more worse for wear," Grace answered Carlisle cheerily. "She says to tell you hello. You just missed them as a matter of fact."

"Did I?" Carlisle leaned against the counter, careful not to apply too much pressure, and affected a casual stance as he held his steaming mug of black coffee. Esme's influence had taught him not to waste excessively, even for the sake of appearance, so the break room's cream and sugar went untouched by him.

Grace nodded. "Duncan fell off the kitchen table. Somehow that kid managed to use his potty as a stepping stool to climb onto the chair and then the table while Beth's back was turned. He's a quick one."

"I trust he wasn't hurt?"

"Not a scratch on him. You can imagine the state Beth was in, though."

Carlisle nodded. "I can. It is good that Duncan is especially hardy."

"I've never seen a more solid kid. Thirty-six pounds at nineteen months!" Grace's exasperation was full of grandmotherly pride.

Carlisle heard the approaching heartbeat and footsteps before the door to the break room opened, and Diana leaned her head inside. "Dr. Cullen? Miss Swan has come in."

Carlisle set his cup of coffee back down on the counter and followed Diana back to the emergency room. "We seem to have a new regular," Diana said by way of conversation as she accompanied him. Carlisle merely smiled, and Diana continued. "Isabella Swan twisted her ankle stepping out of a friend's vehicle. That same friend brought her in. I made him stay in the waiting room. The Chief has already been called."

The thought of a Black in the waiting room after over a year of avoidance intrigued Carlisle, but he restrained himself from asking the identity of the friend. It would seem peculiar to ask such a thing when he had not yet asked about Miss Swan's injuries. He would find out from Bella when he examined her without causing himself attention. Accepting the necessary paperwork, Carlisle nodded at Diana in thanks and dismissal before entering the ER.

Bella was sitting in a wheelchair, her right leg extended, shoe already off. A large part of her was hoping that Dr. Cullen would not be the one on duty right then. Yet, when he appeared, her heart came up in her throat, and she knew that she had actually been hoping it would be him. She wanted to see the vampire, to look at him and know what he was.

"Hello again, Miss Swan." Dr. Cullen smiled at her. For some inexplicable reason, it was his hair that she noticed first: sun-kissed blond, even under the fluorescent lights. His skin was as pale as she'd ever seen it, paler even than her own. There wasn't a blemish on it, anywhere, unless you accounted for the slight shadow under his eyes. As her gaze took in that last detail, she noticed something about his appearance that held an even greater significance, making her pulse beat a little faster. Dr. Cullen's eyes were black.

Smiling at her, he did what she now recognized as one of his typical motions: he sat on the wheeled stool and rolled over to her, stopping just short of her extended leg. "I understand you fell," he stated, smiling at her. Bella nodded. "I understand also," Dr. Cullen continued, smile widening slightly and a twinkle coming into his eyes, "that this once again involves a vehicle and a male friend."

Bella couldn't help but grin back, nodding. As she had thought once before, his bedside manner was excellent, and she felt her slight nerves at being around him ease. "Different vehicle, different friend."

"It's not Jacob Black out in the waiting room, then?" Carlisle asked, leaning over to look at her ankle.

"No, Mike Newton. I hear that you shop at his Dad's store." _Shit_, Bella thought. _Why did I say that? It sounds like I've been checking up on him – which I have, actually._ "Mike happened to mention it," she covered lamely.

"Newton's Outfitters," Carlisle confirmed agreeably. If her comment had caught his attention as being unusual, he gave no sign of it. "My family and I do a lot of camping, and it's good to support locally owned stores." He had slid the ankle of her jeans up carefully as he talked, before allowing his fingers to gently probe her ankle. Bella's ankle was swollen and tender to the touch. She'd winced when he'd applied a slight pressure.

The coolness of his fingers had registered. Though he had stopped to put gloves on, it was still very noticeable. Bella remembered that Jacob's story had mentioned the cold ones having hard skin, though she didn't notice Dr. Cullen's to be especially hard. It was rather pleasant, actually, the feel of those cool fingers on her swollen ankle, cautiously twisting her foot.

Her gaze remained on him the entire time he touched her. How hard could he press her skin? How much strength lay in those fingers? Jacob had said that the cold ones were fast as well as strong. She'd seen Dr. Cullen move quickly once, even though she hadn't registered it immediately for what it was. How fast was he? If he had seen her falling out of the Suburban would he have been able to catch her? What happened to him when the sun was out? He and his family could all obviously walk about during the day, yet they avoided sunlight.

Why did they bother at all? Wouldn't it be more prudent for a family of vampires to stay out of sight, rather than bring attention to themselves by attending high school, shopping at a store, administering to the sick? This man, this creature before her, relaxing her with his smile and light conversation, lightly teasing her about Jacob and Mike and testing her foot for broken bones, sucked blood to stay alive. What was he doing here - again? How old was he?

Feeling her scrutiny, Carlisle looked at Isabella Swan again. Unable to help himself, he had sent her a few covert looks. It had been almost two weeks since he'd last hunted, and unexpectedly, her smell was unusually pungent today. It was not unappealing, almost floral and another trace scent that somehow reminded him of waterfalls. His hands lingered on her ankle slightly more than they should have, and it disconcerted him. Each time he had glanced at Bella, her eyes had been intent upon him. His curiosity was piqued as to why, even as a suspicion made its way through to him. She was still watching him. He noticed her realize his gaze had met hers, and she reflexively swallowed before speaking. Her earth brown eyes held his as she asked, "What made you want to be a doctor?"

_Uh-oh_, Carlisle thought setting her ankle down as he shifted the stool away from her, his suspicion unfortunately confirmed. _Poor Mike Newton._ Yet, unlike with Jennifer Paulsen, he found himself answering her. "I like to do what I can to help people."

It was a good answer. Bella found her mind stretching around the idea. A vampire who didn't feed off of people, who wanted to help them. A family around him. A vampire family who _cared_. Bella's expression softened, and her heart beat with pride. Billy was wrong to fear the Cullens.

"Your ankle is sprained, Miss Swan, and not broken."

"Thankfully." Bella grinned at Carlisle Cullen, vampire doctor. "Actually a rare bit of good luck for me, that."

"I'll have to agree." Charlie chimed in, having just entered. He looked from his daughter, to the doctor who had been smiling at her humor.

"Good evening, Chief Swan."

"Doctor," Charlie nodded. Turning to Bella, he said, "I sent your friend Mike home. He said to tell you good night and that he'd call tomorrow."

"Was he waiting?" Bella asked, surprised and a little appalled. She had no idea that Mike hadn't just gone home after bringing her in.

"Uh-huh."

"You're just about free to go home yourself," Carlisle added, writing on Bella's paperwork. "You'll want to stay off your ankle, keeping it elevated, for at least a couple of days, so it is a good thing that you have the next two days off from school. I will have the nurse get you some crutches before you leave. You will also want to apply a cold compress several times a day, for twenty minutes at a time. You can use an icepack or a bag of frozen vegetables, or even some ice cubes wrapped in a towel." Dr. Cullen gave Bella a small smile as he set down his clipboard and began unraveling a bandage.

_Or you could just leave your hand wrapped around it; that'd work to,_ Bella thought to herself as the doctor lifted her leg, balancing the foot against his torso and began winding the bandage around her ankle, snug but not too tight.

Carlisle's own thoughts were a little preoccupied. He found himself genuinely fond of the girl, but felt caution was now best under the circumstances. His approaching need to feed, her crush on him, and the presence of her father- the chief of the local police no less- made him want to distance himself. He would have to hunt after this shift was over.

Charlie looked from Bella to Dr. Cullen, observing and saying nothing.

**(~*~)**

On the drive home Bella thought about her promise to Charlie to tell him if she found out from Jacob what the issue was between Billy and the Cullens. Now that she knew, in exactly the way Charlie had predicted, she felt doubt about whether she should say that she had found out anything at all. Yet, she had given her word, and Bella hated to make a promise and not keep it. So she started rationalizing to herself how to tell her father. Just because she herself believed it, didn't mean that Charlie would. She could easily tell her father that the Cullens reminded Billy of an old Quileute legend. That way she could keep her promise and tell the truth.

Arriving home and migrating into the kitchen with Charlie, Bella determined that this was the best way to go. Yet, the fact that she shared Billy's belief made her tremble just a little bit as she opened her mouth. "Dad," she began, balancing her weight on her left foot and securing the crutches in her armpits as she opened the cupboard, "about Billy and the Cullens…" She paused to figure out exactly the right words to open with, thumb running over the label of the box of pasta she'd obtained.

Charlie, coat still on and hands in his back pockets, spoke after a beat. "I think we'd best not talk about that, Bells. I'll cook the pasta."

Bella looked over her shoulder at Charlie, and saw him walk over to the refrigerator. Without looking at her, he opened the door and bent over to fish out a can of Rainier beer, and a jar of Newman's Own Marinara. Bella said nothing more. Her father had to leave the topic behind him in order to maintain his friendship with Billy; she had surmised that already. It had cost him to ask her to share information, and now he was backtracking. If Charlie was more comfortable not knowing the source of Billy's discontent and keeping the peace with his closest friend, she wasn't going to change his mind.

"_Can_ you cook pasta?" Bella asked, deliberately lightening the mood.

Charlie set his can down on the table, carried the pasta sauce to the counter and fetched a pot out from under the stove, muttering all the while. "Grown man, own my house, chief of police. Respected. Yet my own daughter doesn't think I can boil water."

"Well, can you?"

Charlie pointed one finger. "Out."

"Going, going!" Bella hobbled out of the kitchen, her grin matching her Dad's perfectly.

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**A/N: "Moonlit" now has a banner! Made by the incomparable ****De****cember(dot)Eclipse, who has been awesome support for ideas and flow, just what I needed. I hope you like the final version!**

**I'm afraid I went against her advice (and my original plan) by delaying Bella hooking up with the Cullens until the next chapter. In part because the second half of what would have been a loooong chapter seven is what still requires a lot of kinks to be worked out. Also, in part because I really prefer not to have long chapters. The good news is that this means I have a lot of chapter eight already written!**

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**Next Chapter... Bella reveals to Carlisle that she knows the truth.**


	8. Chapter 8

_"Three things cannot long be hidden: the sun, the moon and the truth." ~Buddha_

~*~ Chapter Eight ~*~

It was a late September afternoon, and five months had passed since Bella stumbled out of Mike Newton's Suburban with the weight of supernatural knowledge on her shoulders. A revelation like that might alter one's worldview, but it hadn't. The skies didn't darken to hail the coming of an apocalypse. The nighttime air didn't teem with danger or gothic sexuality. Neither Blake, Blade nor Buffy made an appearance to rid the town of monsters. Everything in Forks remained just about the same as Bella finished off her junior year and swung into summer, and as inevitable as the sun giving way to the moon each evening, time had passed.

Bella did not become any more acquainted with Jasper and Alice during the final weeks of the school year. Though it couldn't be said that she hadn't watched them, how they moved, ate, interacted. It was almost a study of grace in movement. Their actions were all typical of a high school teenager, not exactly eyebrow-raising. Yet even the simple motion of Alice rising from the cafeteria table, or Jasper sliding his hand along her arm held the innate beauty of ballet. Once, Alice had turned and looked straight at her, as if she had known all along that Bella's eyes were on them. She smiled and Bella couldn't help but smile back.

True to her original avowal, Bella did not attend the prom that year. She smoothed over Charlie's concerned disapproval by reminding him that there would be another prom her senior year. Careful wording allowed her to dodge out of promising to attend, but both Bella and Charlie felt that the topic could wait until the following year. Charlie didn't have to worry about Bella not having a social life, for she hung out a lot with Jacob at the reservation, and took both Angela and Jessica with her to Jacksonville for the two weeks that summer that she spent with Renee.

Time spent with Jacob over the summer had been both business and pleasure. While they'd laughed, played games and poked fun at each other, Bella would slip in a little joke or remark to inquire more about the legend of the cold ones. Jacob rarely volunteered information, but he would almost always answer her. Bella thought that Jacob looked on it almost like a game. For Bella, it had never been a game, and through this she learned as much as it was possible to learn about the Quileute legend, and the encounter Ephraim Black had in the late 1930s.

The fruit of her labor was an accumulation of knowledge that sat untouched. Bella didn't fret over it, didn't fantasize or speculate. She simply kept the information to herself, not knowing entirely how she felt about it.

That changed one September afternoon, when Bella found herself standing in her kitchen and looking at a tomato. It simply sat in her hand, perfectly normal, everything a tomato should be. It was round. It was red. It was ripe. It reminded Bella of salads and Italian cooking, and eating cold sandwiches at a picnic table. The tomato was completely ordinary. Except for the fact that it had been grown and harvested by a vampire.

That morning, at the persistent urging of the overly painted woman she'd gotten into a fender-bender with, Bella found herself yet again at the ER, seeing Dr. Cullen for the fourth time since she'd known his secret. Dr. Cullen had actually seemed more standoffish with her in the two times their paths had crossed over the summer. Though he was still polite and exuding his bedside charm, their casual conversations had ceased. Bella was saddened by it, and after some reflection, she'd realized that she'd been comfortable sharing her thoughts with him.

It made her feel lonesome that he wasn't as open with her as before. Bella gently squeezed the tomato in her hand, feeling its plush ripeness.

That morning had been a little different. Dr. Cullen had entered the ER carrying a large basket of tomatoes, which he'd set to the side to look over both Bella and Jennifer Paulsen on their separate beds. He'd declared them both to be perfectly fine, and then lifted the basket, holding it out to the two of them. "Esme and Maggie's tomato garden is outgrowing our needs this season. I'm offering up some of the excess to the staff and patients today."

Miss Paulsen had eagerly grabbed hold of a few. "Why, thank you, doctor. I didn't realize that you and your family ate out of your own backyard. How charming! Now I know why I've never run into you at the grocery store."

Carefully selecting a couple of tomatoes from the basket, Bella had wondered how often the woman had hoped for just such a thing. It clicked in her mind then why she'd been dragged into the ER with her. The woman probably had believed it would be less obvious that she was being opportunistic to see the doctor if she brought the other driver in, too. How had the nurse not seen through this and passed them on to Dr. Cullen? _Subtlty was not this woman's strong point_, Bella had thought as she watched Jennifer Paulsen try to turn the food discussion into an invitation for dinner. _Good luck with that. Hope you enjoy sucking on deer carcass._

"My family and I are vegetarians."

At Dr. Cullen's words, Bella had nearly dropped her tomatoes. As it was, she choked on the laugh that had started to bubble out, an awkward snort coming through. Miss Paulsen had given her a condescending look while Dr. Cullen had sent her a confused smile.

Now here she was, staring transfixed at this tomato. Bella set it down on the cutting board. The motion was as simple as the acceptance in her mind. Knowing who had grown it didn't change what it was. It didn't matter. Lifting the small paring knife, Bella began to make her sandwich.

**(~*~)**

Summer eased into cooler weather, a lot earlier than Bella would have expected. While excited to see the leaves start to change color, she had been alarmed when it started happening the third week of August, before the new school year had even begun. Everyone else seeming to think that this was perfectly normal only worried her more about the cold weather before her. It would be her first full winter in Forks in years, and she had already started stocking her wardrobe with long sleeves.

Yet not even the more glorious foliage and thoughts of the upcoming winter could distract Bella enough from the self-appointed task at hand as she entered into the administrative wing of the hospital. It was a wide comfortable lobby, with three different hallways she could choose to go down. Bella knew that the path down to the right would lead to Women's Care, and that was not where she would find Dr. Cullen's office.

That left the two paths to her left. The immediate one obviously led to a stairway that went down behind the wall. Bella chose the last hallway. Turning the corner she found a set of elevators. Reading the guide sign posted between them, Bella pushed the up button.

A tall man with a hospital badge passed her, and she looked over her shoulder nervously, half expecting him to stop and demand to know where she was heading. The man kept walking and turned right. He was likely heading home for the day. A small ding brought Bella's attention back to the arriving elevator. She stepped in, alone. The doors slowly shut and Bella pressed the button for the third floor.

As she felt the four walls surrounding her move downward, her stomach moved down as well, settling heavily. There was no denying that she was nervous, yet she was determined to get this done. She looked down at her bandaged hand. Underneath there was a nasty cut held together by eight stitches. She had tripped over a loose lace on her shoe when returning to her seat in science class and had succeeded in knocking into her classmate's set-up as she grabbed at the table across from her.

Cut by broken beaker and test tubes, her hand had bled far more than she was comfortable with. She had nearly fainted at the sight. As it was, she'd gotten woozy and Mike Newton had escorted her to the nurse's office. The nurse had quickly pressed cloth against the cut to stop the bleeding and arranged Bella to be brought to the hospital for stitches. Bella hadn't been surprised to see Dr. Cullen, but when he removed the bandage and revealed how much blood there had been she was shocked at how calm he was.

Her previous visits to the ER hadn't involved much blood, and not at all since she'd known what he was. As she watched him clear away the bandage and wash her hand, she'd been dumbstruck to see him not even react. She wasn't sure how many broken pieces of test tube glass Dr. Cullen had taken out of her hand that morning, because she'd gotten entirely too focused on watching him.

_I don't know what I thought I'd see_, Bella thought to herself. _A flicker in his eyes, a tenseness, something._ There had been nothing. Just a regular doctor sewing stitches into her hand. From what Jake had told her, Bella thought that most vampires would have lost control, or given into the desire to feed at the proximity to fresh blood. She'd known that, as a doctor, Carlisle Cullen would have some resistance, but watching him at that moment she had been struck at how calm, cool and collected he was. He must have been working on his control for years to be a doctor. Who knows how long, decades?

"You're amazing." The words had come whispering out of her mouth.

Dr. Cullen had looked up at her and down at her hand again. "Just two more, Miss Swan, and we'll be done." Bella noticed him move slightly further away from her.

A deep red blush had crept up Bella's neck and cheeks. She'd been staring at him. With her words, the doctor had come to an obvious conclusion. Dr. Cullen looked up at her again and she had quickly looked away. Then damned herself, because she was actually acting the role.

A nurse had thankfully entered the room at that moment, informing the doctor that a fax from another hospital that he'd been waiting for had just come in. After hearing their brief conversation, Bella learned that Dr. Cullen would be in his office that afternoon to go over his paperwork.

The elevator dinged again as the doors opened, releasing Bella onto the third floor. Bella tentatively stepped out, and looked down the hall. She turned left.

Bella had debated within herself for a couple of months whether she should let the Cullens know that she was aware of their true nature. She saw Jasper and Alice in school every overcast day. Though she did not share any classes with them, a part of her was tempted to approach the lovely pair. Yet, it was what had happened that morning, the embarrassment of knowing what Dr. Cullen had assumed about her behavior that finally made her decide to speak.

After all, she hadn't been love-struck. She had been . . . awestruck.

Almost immediately, Bella found the door that she had been looking for. A placard next to it read "Dr. Carlisle Cullen." No letters indicating degrees followed his name, but then, he hardly needed them, did he? Maybe he had too many to list. Bella suppressed the chuckle borne out of nervousness that tried to escape her. She knocked briskly on the door.

Carlisle had heard the footfalls coming down the hallway and the hesitation outside his door. The nuances of the scent of the girl behind it reached him just as the knock sounded. Though he'd always found her scent pleasant, Carlisle's reaction was not anticipatory. He certainly hadn't expected Isabella Swan to be so daring as to seek him out, but she had, and it had to be dealt with. Carlisle often had to turn away the advances of the unattached women he came across, mothers and nurses, even the occasional orderly. Yet dealing with a teenage girl and her crush was somewhat new to him. Women were far more forward than they had been in the past, and this would be the first time a schoolgirl had hit on him. Granted, she was now eighteen and legally an adult; however that didn't change things. Carlisle prepared himself.

"Come in," he called out in a friendly voice, and Isabella Swan slowly opened his door.

She wore the same outfit that he'd seen her in that morning: jeans and a long-sleeved tee. Her right hand still bore the bandage that he had set on it that morning. Her long brown hair fell into her face as she looked at him, darting her eyes. He could tell that her heartbeat quickened as she walked into the office and shut the door behind her.

"Miss Swan." Courtesy made him want to rise, but he knew that body language could be read many ways. Carlisle remained in his seat. "How is your hand feeling?"

"It's fine, thank you," the girl answered. Her eyes glanced at one of the chairs in front of his desk and she hesitated.

The gesture made Carlisle change his behavior. He couldn't remain as distant as he was trying to be. She was obviously nervous yet determined, and he could imagine how uncomfortable she might feel. Still remaining behind his desk, he extended his hand towards the chair to his left. "Please, sit down and be more comfortable, Miss Swan." _Not too comfortable,_ he thought as the teenaged girl quickly took the seat and crossed then uncrossed her legs. "Tell me what's on your mind."

Bella Swan smiled weakly at him and took a deep breath before speaking. "I accidentally said something this morning that I think you took the wrong way."

Carlisle waited. She was about to bring up her feelings, which was inevitable, but he didn't want to encourage her by nodding.

"Um," Bella looked down, obviously uncomfortable, but Carlisle couldn't help her through this one. If she needed to unburden herself, she had to find her own way. "When I said that you were amazing, I didn't mean, " she looked back up at him,_ "you_ you. That is, it's amazing that you're a doctor." Her eyes dropped back down to her lap again, where her fingers twisted themselves. "I'm not doing this right."

"Isabella, are you sure you know what you want to say?" Though he kept it formal, Carlisle used her given name this time, because to do otherwise would seem cruel.

"No," The girl laughed and then sighed. She seemed to pull herself together and looked up, staring straight into his eyes. He noticed a sudden confidence in their chocolate texture and braced for her words. "That was a lot of blood on my hand. Enough to make me nearly faint. You didn't even react to it. Not a flicker. And I was impressed because…" Bella took one more deep breath and pushed the words out. "I know that you're a vampire."

Carlisle froze, his entire body going still as he stared at her in complete shock. Her heart-shaped face revealed that she was perfectly in earnest. The knowledge of the truth came out of her eyes unhidden. As he looked into them, he realized that was what had been hidden in them these past months. It was that look that had been watching him in the emergency room. She may have been nervous, but there was no squeamishness about her now.

Bella tilted her head, and tried not to smile. Her hand came up partway out of her lap, finger extended towards him. "You're, um, proving it right now, you know."

Carlisle realized just how still he had been. As a vampire, he didn't need to fidget and breathe as a human normally did. It was an affectation he was accustomed to presenting when around regular people. Automatically, he relaxed his muscles and reassumed the posture he normally used at work.

"How?" he asked, the question falling out of him just as readily as Isabella Swan's whispered words had fallen out of her mouth that morning.

Bella gave a small involuntary smile. She'd finally spoken, and Dr. Cullen hadn't denied it. Relief expanded her chest and allowed her to let out a long exhale. "I'd heard a story when I was a little girl, from Jacob Black actually."

Recognition flashed for a quick second in the doctor's eyes, which were very steadily focused on Bella. "Tell me."

Bella and Carlisle began to talk, and for the first time since they'd met, neither one of them had to hide the truth.

* * *

**A/N: Reviews always brighten my day, and today I can use it. :)**

**Big thanks go out to A, K and J. **

**Also, I have a deleted scene from Bella's summer that I don't think is likely to make it back into the story at a later point. Let me know if you're interested.**

**Next chapter. . . Alice is ecstatic. Carlisle ponders consequences - and he learns that Bella was the girl in Port Angeles.**


	9. Chapter 9

**No way! An update on "Moonlit? !" Yes folks, I'm finally providing chapter nine. I know it's taking me two months, and I'm sure you don't want to hear my specific excuses. Allow me to say that shortly after posting chapter eight I had two major life events happen (and I don't use those words lightly) that took some time to recover from. I hope you've been understanding. :) **

**Per reviewer request, a recap: "Moonlit" is a Twilight AU created by the fact that characters made different decisions with their lives. In the previous chapter Bella, a frequent visitor to the ER, has finally confessed to Carlisle that she figured out the truth about his family. **

* * *

~*~ Chapter Nine ~*~

Carlisle usually enjoyed his commute from the hospital to home as a time to think, though this trip found his mind more preoccupied than any other. Never before, in over three and half centuries of living, had a human approached him with his own secret. Though thoroughly innocent, it was such a dangerous thing to have happened, and a small part of Carlisle still couldn't believe that he had spoken so rashly. It hadn't even occurred to him to deny when Bella confessed her suspicions – no, her _knowledge_. Once he'd asked how, there was no point in retracing his steps.

In all honesty, it had felt natural to be open with Bella Swan. He sat there, utterly invested in every word falling from her lips as she told of hearing the Quileute story when she was a child. The story had stayed with her, to the point of giving her dreams both before and after she'd moved away from Forks.

"When I first saw you, I actually thought that you looked pale from overwork." Bella smiled at him wryly, earning a similar twitch of his lips in return. "Yet, even then, I think, the memory started to tug at me."

"Then you are truly observant, Bella." Carlisle answered. When Bella shook her head at him, Carlisle pressed on. "I am sure you are, just as I'm sure you'll believe me when I say that I have never had a conversation like this before."

Bella shrugged, obviously uncomfortable with the compliment. "I guess I do, but it's hard to believe that no one has really noticed before that your family is never seen in the sunlight."

"Humans have a tendency to dismiss what they can't explain or reason away what is outside of the normal way of things. My family and I may never be around the town when the sun is shining, but we are seen both day and night. It's easy for minds to pass over what they actually do not see."

Bella looked thoughtful for a moment, and then nodded at him. "I think I understand what you mean. Why would someone notice you _not_ being somewhere, when they weren't expecting to see you anyway? That must be why you keep to yourselves so much. If people expect to see you socially, they'll notice when you're not there."

_This from the girl who does not think that she is observant_. "It's one of the reasons," Carlisle answered grimly. A foreboding began to settle on him that he did not want to explore with Bella sitting across from him. So he'd returned to the original topic and expanded on it. "It's also easier in modern times when science is so prolific and people are less inclined to believe in the supernatural."

Now that he was alone in his car, Carlisle's thoughts could dwell on the danger of what had happened. The law of secrecy was absolute among the enforcers of his kind. Should Bella's knowledge become known outside of his family her life would be forfeit. Human death on behalf of vampires disturbed Carlisle greatly, and was something he had built a lifestyle avoiding. The idea of Bella paying the ultimate price for her awareness was a painful thought. Intentional or not, Carlisle had come to care for this honest and smart young woman. He needed to be certain that she could be protected. Perhaps after he talked with the rest of the family, he might ask Alice if she would be willing to keep a watch on Bella.

He'd have to call a family meeting, of course. An occurrence like this could not go without being discussed. Though Carlisle didn't personally think that it would be so, they would all have to decide if it was necessary to pick up and move again. Carlisle was confident in Bella's discretion, yet the rest of his family might not be. They might view her as a sign that Forks held a threat to them, though Carlisle was equally confident that none of them would seek to silence Bella. His family was his family not only because of their mutual affection, but also because of their shared belief in the sanctity of human life – with the exception of Edward and Rosalie. Carlisle felt a unique surge of gratitude that Edward and Rosalie did not actually live with him. He couldn't be sure how either of them would feel about Bella. Though they'd have to be told eventually.

Arriving home, Carlisle cautioned himself to address his worries to the more immediate concerns of the moment._ First things first_.

Alice was at the door, a grin beaming off her face, as Carlisle approached the house from his car. It was a little disconcerting to see her happy face when he had such serious news to share. Soon she would not be smiling as she was right now. He was somewhat surprised that she hadn't already known what transpired, but he had to conclude that the joy on her face indicated that she was not aware. "Alice," he spoke by way of greeting when she stepped aside to let him through the open doorway.

"She talked to you today." Alice's voice was very close to being an excited squeal. Jasper stood by her, silent and stoic.

Carlisle paused almost imperceptibly as he took off his coat. It was never safe to assume that you knew what was going on in Alice's mind. Her words just now were obviously about Bella, and clearly more prescient than current. Carlisle's serious gaze took in Alice's knowing eyes and, perplexingly, her joyful smile.

"How long have you known that Bella Swan is aware of us?"

"Almost as soon as she did," Alice answered before hurrying on in her excitement. "I am so glad that she's finally decided to speak up! Of course, there was no question that she would go to you when she did. You have a better relationship with her than either Jazz or I do."

"Alice, this is very serious. Why on earth did you not tell us sooner?"

"What is going on?" Esme asked, appearing in the entryway of the living room. She was a figure of loveliness. Light brown locks that fell beyond her shoulders and a round yet slender figure made her quite beautiful. Her strongest inner beauty, her caring heart, was reflected in the concern that showed in her eyes.

"There is a human girl," Carlisle explained, "a patient of mine and a classmate of Alice's. She knows about us."

"What?" Esme's voice held both alarm and dismay.

"It's fine," Alice insisted, eager to reassure. "It's going to be fine."

Carlisle raised his arm slightly, indicating further into the house. "Let us take this discussion into the dining room, please."

Carlisle sat himself directly across from Alice, Esme by his side across from Jasper. Maggie was absent from the house, having left that morning to hunt in the northern woods. Carlisle regretted her not being present for the discussion, but he would make sure that Maggie was completely brought up to date once she returned home.

"Carlisle," Esme began. She could see a tension brewing between him and Alice, and wanted to get it resolved quickly. However, she wouldn't know how to help until she knew what had actually occurred. "Please tell me what happened with this girl today."

Carlisle nodded. He wanted to demand answers from Alice, but he couldn't move forward until Esme's confusion was erased. "Bella Swan has been a frequent patient of mine since she returned to her father's house several months ago. She is very accident-prone."

"This is the police chief's daughter?" Esme's concern grew. "She is the one who knows about us?"

Carlisle nodded. "Yes. Apparently she has known for some time, and only decided to speak up just today. She came and visited me in my office."

"Good Lord. What did she say? How did she know?"

Carlisle briefly rested a hand on Esme's in reassurance. "Her source is the Quileutes, actually. Just before she and her mother moved out of the area, a childhood friend told Bella their legend about us -well, our kind- the interaction their wolves had with other vampires long before our family ever crossed paths with them."

"Then how did she equate that to us?" Esme pressed. Alice and Jasper remained silent on the other side of the table, one curious, the other keenly interested.

"The story had impressed her enough that it stayed with her. I imagine it might have lingered more in her mind because it was one of the last things she heard of before her life altered so drastically. Think of an eight-year-old girl seeking comfort and familiarity with a friend while her parents are becoming more and more distant with each other. Then that friend frightens her with a scary story that is supposedly true. Right afterwards she is taken away from the home and friends she has known all her life.

"Bella told me that she dreamed of the Quileute 'cold ones' for some time after the move. I think that her subconscious clung to something a little more supernatural as a way to deal with the reality of her newly broken home. Rather than feel pain while awake, she fought monsters in her sleep."

Both Esme and Alice spoke at once. "She thinks we're monsters?"

"Did you have to psychoanalyze her, Carlisle? Bella's seeking friendship, not therapy."

"I hardly had Bella recline on a couch and tell me her dreams." Carlisle's defensiveness was the equal of Alice's. "I am just sharing my perceptions. And no, Esme, I do not believe that Bella sees us as monsters. She was very warm and open, actually. Once she got over her nervousness."

"Well, I'm certainly glad to hear that she doesn't view us as enemies." Esme began to smooth the waters. "Alice, you said that she is seeking friendship?"

"Yes, Alice. I am very interested to learn what you have to share about this." Carlisle resumed a measure of calm. It wasn't fair to feel unhappy with Alice when she had yet to explain herself.

"Do you remember an accident in the high school parking lot back in late March, Carlisle? A teenage boy slid on the ice and lost control of his van."

"Tyler Crowley, yes. I was on duty when he came in."

"Bella was very nearly involved. If she hadn't changed her mind on where to park at the last minute, she would have been out of her truck and hit by that van."

"Good God."

"That was when I first started having visions of Bella. They were fairly vague at first, but they always involved her and our family."

"In what way?" Esme asked.

"Always in a positive way." Alice smiled at everyone, determined to transmit her confidence. "I see her and I laughing and enjoying each other's company. I see her talking for hours into the night with Carlisle, and I see you comforting her, Esme, when she's in tears. Those images are solid, not faint wisps of might-have-been. Bella is meant to be a part of this family."

"As a vampire?"

Alice shook her head. "I can't completely determine that. I don't see that far into the future with her. I can, however, safely say that Bella is human for at least the next few years."

"Alice," Carlisle spoke again. The truth behind her visions had unnerved him, in more ways than he could analyze. "Why haven't you told us about this earlier?"

"To do so would damage the strength of her bond with us. Carlisle, would you have been able to look at her the same way if I told you how integrated she would be with our family, how much we would all come to love her? It would be setting up expectations before the foundation was laid. To quote Herbert, 'the thing must take its course.'"

"The foundation is safely laid now, then? Only three of us have even met the girl."

"She's spoken to you, hasn't she?"

"Yes, she has. Do you realize, Alice, how dangerous this is for all of us?

"Bella isn't a threat to us, and never will be."

"We are a threat to her! A threat that could have been prevented if you'd spoken up earlier about her interest in us. How can we take a human into our family? As soon as it is discovered her death would be mandated." Stress leaked through every syllable that came from Carlisle's mouth. "She already has people of her own kind that care for her a great deal. Do you want to hurt them, too? How about the father that just got her back into his life?" Carlisle had been happy for Chief Swan, particularly since the night that he had first seen him and Bella together. Carlisle thought of the Chief losing Bella due to her association with his family, and felt the cruelty of it.

"This situation seems to be getting out of hand," Jasper spoke for the first time. "It's clear to me that both Carlisle and Alice are feeling protective of Bella. You two just need to realize that neither one of you is going to hurt her."

"Of course I'm not going to hurt her," Carlisle said, surprised at such a suggestion being laid at his door. He was calmer for Jasper's words and, he suspected, Jasper's influence as well. "I just fear that Alice already has by not preventing her becoming aware of us. Don't you realize," Carlisle directed at Alice, "that her life is in danger now?"

"We're not going to hurt her, Carlisle, certainly the least of all by telling the Volturi about her. I know you have bad memories of the punishments that were carried out during your time with them, but that is not a fear that relates to us right now. Bella is meant to be a part of this family. I love her already because I see how much she'll come to mean to all of us. You hurt her, and me, and this whole family, if you deny Bella her destiny to know us."

Carlisle shook his head, grateful that Jasper was keeping at bay the tension that wanted to emanate from him in waves. "If this girl should be in our company, it is not us that I fear will report to the Volturi. Not only would we have to hide her from our friends, like the Denali coven, but also nomads pass through here frequently enough. What would have happened if Bella had been with us during our baseball game in March? Instead of a friendly game, it may have become a showdown. Five against three are odds only slightly in our favor should we have been called upon to defend her. I also don't wish to move forward hiding anything more about my life. We hide from the humans to spare them from our own kind. If we hide from other vampires to spare the human, then we are at opposition to both sides."

"I don't intend to hide anything." Alice stood to emphasize her determination. "I don't intend to hide from Bella what we are, and I will not hide from Tanya or Peter or anyone who knows us that Bella is a part of my life now.

"Carlisle," Alice continued, plea and persuasion coloring her voice, "I need you to continue to have faith in me. I would not feel the way I do if the future I see holds death and unhappiness. It's love and companionship, and a certain kind of freedom that we haven't been able to experience yet. Was it not comfortable for you to be able to drop the charade in your office with Bella today?"

Carlisle said nothing for a long moment. Being with Bella had felt good. She was thoughtful, intelligent and he already had acknowledged to himself that he cared for her. Alice had every right to call on his faith in her. She had never steered anyone in the family wrong, and if what she saw was something good, then there was hope of a positive outcome. Continuing this argument was only causing the family stress, and that was something he did not want to be the perpetrator of. Yet, he couldn't quite let go of his sense of worry for Bella. Finally, he nodded, standing up and turning to face the window. "It did feel comfortable."

"I think that the only one of us who is going to be uncomfortable is me," Jasper interjected, deliberately giving Carlisle the chance he needed to be alone with his thoughts. "Alice knows, and I know from previous experience, that I am not a threat, but I cannot deny that I am instinctively aware of how good Bella smells. She has a uniquely appealing scent."

"Oh, no, that's the last thing that we would need," Esme commiserated, then laughed. "I certainly don't envy you the challenge you face, Jasper. We all know that changing lifestyles has been hard on you, harder even than it was for Maggie."

"For Alice, nothing is too hard." Jasper grasped his beloved's hand and kissed her fingers. She smiled down at him, as Esme beamed at them from across the table.

"She does smell good," Carlisle's words floated across to them from the window, almost as if he hadn't heard the last interaction. "Like waterfalls and flowers."

Esme looked at his back, startled. Hearing Carlisle speak of an awareness of any human's scent was not anything she had ever experienced in nearly 90 years of knowing him. Alice's reaction was different, and only Jasper saw the smile of smug satisfaction on her face.

Abruptly Carlisle turned on his heel and faced the family again. "Alice, you said that Bella will never be a threat to us."

"That's right."

"I've heard you say that about an unnamed schoolmate visiting Port Angeles, not too long ago."

Alice stilled for a moment, then nodded her head. "Yes, Carlisle."

The knowledge that Bella had been attacked created a hard surge of anger in Carlisle. Moving slowly, he sat down again, quelling the feeling. Anger was not an emotion he ever found to be productive. Allowing anger to lead your thoughts or actions rarely led to anything good, as Rosalie was a prime example of. "Was Bella hurt?"

"Not very much. She was bruised for awhile where he held her arm to her back."

Again, Carlisle felt anger rising. His face was stony and silent as he repressed the feeling.

"I'm missing something." Esme was frowning at them.

"Bella was the girl in Port Angeles that Alice and I rescued," Jasper answered.

Carlisle made eye contact with Jasper, who was watching him intently. "These men are in jail?"

Jasper nodded, hesitantly. "I believe so, yes."

"The leader is," Alice piped in. "Alonzo Calderas Wallace. He was wanted in two different states. Edward and Rosalie dropped him off in Oklahoma City, in a side street not far from the police station, and made an anonymous phone call. He's already had his trial. I believe he is also being extradited into Houston to stand trial there."

"Good."

"He'll be in jail for a long time, Carlisle, serving back-to-back sentences."

"What about the other one?"

"Clifford Pendleton. Rosalie was quick to drop him off outside the Port Angeles station. He didn't have a record like Wallace, but he was wanted for misdemeanor theft. He is also incarcerated."

"I'm glad to hear it," Esme said, returning her glance from the window to focus it back on the family around the table. "This girl sounds like she's been through a number of events in her young life. I am also certainly inclined to believe in Alice's predictions as well as Carlisle's faith in her. Yet, I have to ask, since she is so young, are we certain that she is going to be discreet? That's the first element that we need to deal with, after all. Is Bella Swan going to treat us normally in the community or are her actions going to raise suspicion against us – if they haven't already?"

"She hasn't done anything, Esme, other than ask a friend to tell her a story he'd already told her."

"I can assure you that Bella is an intelligent and self-composed young lady. She is not the type to tell tales outside of school."

"Ah, but Carlisle, did she not break her friend's confidence by talking to you?" Esme countered.

Carlisle frowned. "I suppose you could look at it that way. Though since Jacob Black did not believe in the story he told her, and she did not speak to someone outside of this family, I am inclined not to see it as a betrayal."

"Jacob Black, as in Ephraim Black?"

"Yes."

"Well," Esme sat back in her seat. "This story certainly gets more and more interesting. It's a relief to know that the current Quileute leader hasn't spread his beliefs to his son, but knowing that makes me worry more that Jacob is the source of Bella's knowledge. I have to say, Carlisle, I don't agree that her behavior isn't revealing. I want to know what her intentions are."

"Friendship, Esme," Alice answered. "She is going to be a part of this family. Bella doesn't mean us any harm."

"Why don't I just ask her?" came a voice from the front door of the house. Esme smiled, for she had heard her beloved coming, more easily than the rest of the family had. Maggie appeared in the dining room, and grasped the hand that Esme held out, coming to her side. The movement was natural, a congenial motion of a couple long-since happily conjoined. "If the possibility of her being a threat is as minimal as you seem to believe, then let's eliminate it first before doing anything. Do you agree, Carlisle?"

Carlisle looked on his old friend, a vampire with a millennia more experience than him. Her wisdom reminded him of the advice that he had given himself before entering the house: deal with the more immediate concerns first. He nodded. "Yes."

(~*~)

Nothing had gone wrong. Dr. Cullen hadn't dismissed her or laughed at her; he didn't throw her out of his office or threaten her. He had actually sat and listened and talked with her. Things had gone well. So why then couldn't Bella sleep?

Bella shifted and punched her pillow into a better position of support for her head. As she lay on her side, she could feel the rat-a-tat-tat of her heart pounding in her chest.

Maybe it was the knowledge that the entire Cullen family was probably discussing her right now. What were they thinking? What would Alice and Jasper feel about her having talked to their "father?" What were Maggie and Esme, women whom she had never met, going to think of her intrusion on their privacy? Would they really think that she was intruding? Wait – was it right to call them women if they were vampires?

_Bella, if you start second-guessing what you can call them in your own mind, then you are seriously way too wound up. Relax._ Rolling onto her back, she closed her eyes with a deep sigh. Being with Dr. Cullen in his office today hadn't made her this nervous. Bella could feel the gradual relaxation of her muscles and the slowing of her heartbeat into a more steady rhythm as she thought back to their conversation.

"It's also easier in modern times when science is so prolific and people are less inclined to believe in the supernatural."

Sitting across from his desk, Bella had frowned at the words. _Inclined to believe in the supernatural._ She had never really thought of herself in those terms. The image they created in her mind was that of a fool, someone not terribly advanced in her ability to think. Like she was some sort of pagan who had never scene a lighter, and thought of it as magic. "Huh. I guess I never thought of myself that way."

Dr. Cullen smiled at her. "It does not mean that you're not smart, Bella. It just means that you are open-minded, and that is a very good thing."

Bella's eyes shifted uncertainly, but she thanked him for the compliment.

"Might I ask you a question?"

"Of course! Please, I'm the one that's imposing on you."

"Not at all." Dr. Cullen folded his hands on the desk in front of him. The gesture somehow made her think of being in a teacher conference. "When you first walked through my door, you were nervous but not afraid. Do you mind if I ask why?"

"You want to know why I'm not afraid of you?"

"Yes."

Bella thought for moment before answering. "Well, I guess I could start by saying that you have always been kind to me. I've never really felt uncomfortable around you. When I realized what you were, and learned that you only hunt animals, it made things more… relaxing, I guess. Then I asked you once why you are a doctor, and you told me it was because you wanted to help." He nodded at her, confirming the memory. "That moment I thought of you and your family, choosing to be among us and not hiding, but _helping._ It – it made me feel proud."

There was a brief second before a quick astonished chuckle came out of Carlisle. The smile on his handsome face was a nice thing to see. It made him look more natural and approachable. "You felt proud of me- and my family?"

"Well, yeah."

"Bella, that is just unprecedented, and very remarkable."

Bella wasn't quite sure how to feel. Maybe it was a little embarrassment accompanied with a desire to squirm. Yet, she knew that Dr. Cullen wasn't looking down on her. He seemed more impressed than anything.

"Well, it was definitely a better turn for my mind to take than wondering how easily your fingers could crush my ankle, or how quickly you could move." Bella tilted her head to the side as she looked at him. "If I could ask you a question now – how long have you been practicing medicine? How old are you?"

There was a brief moment of hesitation before he answered. "I've been learning medicine for a very long time. Dating from the year I believe I was born, I am three hundred and sixty-two years old."

Bella stared at him. Dr. Carlisle Cullen was nearly four hundred years old. He'd been a part of this world not only before her father, and Jacob's great-grandfather, but even before the founding fathers of the United States. Three hundred and sixty-two years. That made his birth year… 1643. Carlisle Cullen had been around since the first English Civil War, since Isaac Newton. He was older than the concept of gravity.

"Does that bother you?" Carlisle broke the silence.

"No," Bella answered truthfully. "It makes me feel safer."

They watched each other in what Bella felt was a comfortable silence and mutual pondering.

"I want you to feel safe, Bella."

"Thank you, Dr. Cullen."

He smiled at her then. "I think, under the circumstances, it would be alright for you to call me Carlisle."

"_Carlisle_." Already unconscious, Bella curled onto her side again, the name whispering from her lips unheard.

(~*~)

The weight of Bella's stomach was heavy again as she approached the cafeteria for lunch. It had been like that all day, but somehow it seemed even heavier as she knew she was about to cross paths with Alice and Jasper again. She had not seen them in the halls at all, but the sky was overcast so she was certain that they were in attendance.

Unless they hadn't come to school today because of her? A whole new pressure began to weigh on Bella at the thought. What if they stopped coming because they didn't want to risk exposure to her, because of her? What if the entire family was moving away? Bella felt grief at the thought, a kind of coldness that she didn't like. Yet Carlisle hadn't given her any hint that he might take his family away. He'd invited to her call him by his first name. Surely that was a sign of acceptance? She hadn't left his office unhappy.

Jessica had been chatting rapidly by her side, but Bella hadn't really been paying attention. "Hello, Earth to Bella."

"Sorry, Jess." Bella gave her friend a rueful smile. "I got lost in my thoughts."

"I guess. You've been doing that a lot lately."

"I have?"

Jessica stepped in towards Bella and hooked an arm through hers. "C'mon, tell me what's on your mind."

Bella quickly tried to come up with something believable that wouldn't exactly be a lie, but drew a blank as they passed through into the cafeteria.

"Is it a guy?" Jessica asked. It might have been a bit gossipy, but Jessica really had redeveloped a fondness for Bella, and had been getting concerned about her lack of dating.

Bella's eyes had automatically looked around for the two vampires, and she'd found them just as Jessica's question registered.

"A guy? No."

Jessica wasn't entirely unobservant, and she followed where Bella's searching eyes had landed before looking back at her.

"The Cullen kids? Oh, Bella, please don't tell me that you have a crush on Jasper. He's so taken, it would just break your heart."

"No!" Bella answered emphatically in a loud whisper. Both Alice and Jasper had turned toward their heads towards her and Jessica. Jasper looked back at Alice and gave a small, amused smile. Bella felt her face turn red.

"Um…" Jessica hesitated. She, too, looked over and noticed that the couple was looking their way. She steered Bella towards the lunch line, effectively putting both their backs to the pair. "It's not Alice, is it?"

"Jess! Jesus." Bella was beyond mortified as she selected a drink for her tray with her bandaged hand. "I'm not interested in anyone, and certainly not in inserting myself between a couple."

"Ok, fine. I'm sorry I asked and upset you." Jessica's regret over upsetting Bella was genuine, but at least she felt that she had a questioned answered. Bella was not a lesbian. "So, seriously, what is on your mind?"

Bella sighed, and then waggled her hand at Jess. "I'm tired of getting hurt so often. I was trying to think if there was anything I could do to train myself to be less of a klutz. Like taking tai chi or yoga or something."

"Aw, Bella." Jessica gave her a sympathetic smile. "Try yoga before any martial arts. More meditation and a little bit less moving around. Then, of course, going barefoot will help you from forgetting to tie your shoes."

Bella rose to the bait. "I did _not_ forget to tie my sneaker. It just came undone."

"At least you got to go see that hot doctor again." Bella almost rolled her eyes at Jessica's almost inevitably single-track mind. Yet, she did have a point. If Bella hadn't seen the doctor again, she wouldn't have become motivated to tell him the truth. So far, she hadn't regretted it. Bella cast another glance at Alice and Jasper as she sat down at the usual table with Jess.

"Are you talking about Dr. Cullen?" Lauren asked, having overheard the last thing Jessica said. "Gosh, Bella, I almost want to start leaving my own laces untied just to get to go to the ER during school hours and see him."

"He doesn't always work school hours," Bella grumbled.

"I think the Cullens are all strange," Tyler said, a little resentful of his girlfriend's admiration. "That doctor is way too pale and has weird eyes. They all have weird eyes. Has anyone noticed that?"

_Uh-oh,_ Bella thought. She didn't instigate this conversation, but she wasn't happy about it.

"Can't say I've seen all of them," Mike chimed in. "But I don't think there's anything too weird about them."

"You don't?" Eric was surprised.

"Nah. Well, okay, it's weird that the two foster kids are dating each other, but they seem pretty happy and the family's okay with it. We've all got weird stuff in our closets. I just freaking found out that my mother's grandmother married her cousin. That means that my great-grandmother and great-grandfather had the same grandparents."

"Yuck," Jessica frowned.

Mike draped an arm across her shoulders and gave her his most charming smile. "You don't think I'm any the worse for it, do you?"

Jessica melted like butter left out in the sun. "No, I don't," and she leaned in and pecked his lips.

"How'd you find that out?" Eric asked. As Mike started to explain, Bella could only feel grateful for the change in topics. _God bless Mike Newton._ Yet, she was still a little uneasy. The Cullen family was still conspicuous despite their efforts at blending in. It would only be a matter of time before people started asking questions more often. Bella wished that she had thought of something herself, but being quick-witted wasn't always her strong suit. She'd have to think up a few excuses to have at the ready next time she heard talk like this. She needed to be certain that the Cullen family could be protected.

Glancing over at Alice and Jasper's table, Bella was a little startled to find them gone. That was it then. No changes. Bella sighed quietly to herself. She supposed that it was just as well.

In her next class Bella found herself wondering why she had bothered telling the truth at all. If the family was just going to ignore her as usual, she might as well have kept silent. Yet, at least she'd cleared the air with Carlisle, and he no longer thought of her as a love-struck teen. What was with people getting curious about her love life anyway? Surely she wasn't the only girl in Forks High not dating.

Bella just wasn't the type to be trolling around guys looking for a date and hoping for love. She had only ever gotten a crush on a boy once. His name had been Tom, and he'd completely humiliated her. Well, actually, she wasn't sure he'd even noticed her existence apart from her failed attempt to talk to him. She'd been fourteen, he'd been sixteen, and when she'd plucked up the courage to approach him in the cafeteria she'd tripped on some kid's backpack and spilled her lunch tray all over him. Typical Bella, awkward adolescent. Tom's reaction had not been friendly. She'd cowered away from him until she'd gotten over her crush. Seeing him making out in the hallways with his girlfriend had certainly helped with that. Maybe the whole situation of an impossible crush had turned Bella off seeking out guys; maybe it's just that Bella had other things in her life that she prioritized more. Surely there was nothing wrong with being only eighteen years old and never having dated?

Shaking her head as she walked to the final class of the day, Bella tried to dispel her thoughts. Thinking about the Cullens and thinking about past humiliations weren't exactly where she wanted her mind to be dwelling.

Yet the Cullens were to be on her mind anyway. Unexpectedly she felt a cool hand wrapping around her upper arm. Bella blinked at Alice as she stepped them both away from the door.

"Hi," Bella said uncertainly. Alice's demeanor was friendly, but the unexpectedness of her arrival made Bella uneasy. Somehow, she thought only about how easy it would be for Alice to simply squeeze and crush the bones in her arm.

"Bella, I just want to tell you one thing, quickly," Alice said as she let go of Bella. "Don't be scared."

"Don't be scared?"

"No." Alice smiled. "Everything's going to turn out okay. Alright?"

Bella nodded, a little jerkily. "Alright."

"Good!" Alice beamed at her one more time before turning away and disappearing around the corner of the building.

"Huh," Bella said, which was pretty much her reigning thought all through the last class of the day. Was Alice simply saying that she had nothing to worry about from their family? That could very well be, and that's exactly what Bella would have taken it as if Alice had said that to her in the cafeteria. Yet, Bella got the feeling that something was about to happen instead. Alice usually tended to give her the feeling that she knew something Bella didn't, and this last exchange was no different. No, Bella didn't think that Alice simply meant not to worry. She meant not to be scared when something happened. So what was about to happen?

"Miss Swan!" Bella looked up at the teacher and realized that he'd been calling on her.

"Yeah?"

"It's time to stop daydreaming, Miss Swan, and pay attention."

"Yes, Mr. Meyer."

It was good advice, but Bella didn't really follow it. Walking to her truck, she reflected on her gratitude that both Carlisle and Alice seemed to be friendly. Whatever Jasper's attitude was toward her, Bella was still uncertain. Bella wondered why Jasper hadn't been with Alice when she'd delivered her message, coloring a little again at what he'd overheard Jessica say at lunch.

Climbing behind the wheel of her truck, Bella shut the door behind her and stuck the keys in the ignition.

"Hello, Bella," a soft feminine voice greeted from her immediate right, and Bella let out a squeal of alarm as she jumped and turned. Sitting beside her in the truck was a tiny woman, shorter than Bella. Her red hair was curly, blending beautifully with her pale skin, pink lips and the slightest trace of freckles dotting across her face. The feature that struck Bella as most important, however, was her golden eyes.

"Hi," Bella gulped, still calming her racing heart.

"You know who I am?"

Bella nodded. "You must be Maggie."

"Good." Maggie smiled at her in approval, but there was very little openness about the gesture. "Go ahead and start your truck, Bella, and let's go for a drive. I'd like to talk to you."

Slowly turning to face the wheel again, Bella turned the keys in the ignition and the engine started. While Maggie was not very physically imposing, Bella was still nervous about the sudden appearance of an unknown vampire in the passenger side of her cab. This also marked the second time she'd been caught off guard by a member of the Cullen family inside of two hours.

Don't be scared, Alice had told her. Taking a deep breath as she pulled out into the aisle with a stranger by her side that could kill her hours before Charlie would even come home to find her missing, Bella tried to take Alice's advice.

* * *

**Some of you may be surprised by Carlisle's behavior in this chapter. I feel it's justified by where his character has been, and most importantly, still hasn't had the benefit of. I am a firm believer in the soothing and supportive nature of being loved. Loving and being loved in return just makes you a happier person, period. Being without love doesn't make you a bad person, but you might find yourself more tense when you don't have that special someone to offer you understanding when you're alone together. Feel free to share your thoughts if you agree or disagree. I'd love to hear them! Especially since this concept will be fairly important to the story.**

**If you check out my profile you will find links to images of several characters in this story, even some we have not yet met.**

**You'll also find a fun poll, which I like to think of as Celebrity Deathmatch: Blond Vampire edition. If you're familiar with multiple types of vampire lore, cast a vote on who's most likely to win. If the idea fires your imagination, feel free to write a one-shot. I'd like to read it! :)**

**Please review and let me know what you think about anything!**

**Next chapter: Bella meets the Cullen family, and we just might find out what's up with Edward and Rosalie.**


	10. Chapter 10

~*~ Chapter Ten ~*~

It was quiet but for the rumble of the truck's engine as Bella drove down the road, following the directions of the redheaded vampire beside her. Maggie was non-emotive, neither friendly nor unfriendly. Two things quelled Bella's fears about whether she was blindly trusting someone who could turn out to be the dispatched Cullen assassin: Carlisle's friendliness and the fact that Alice had saved her once. Alice could easily have lied to fool Bella into complacency, but it didn't seem too likely when Alice had always been friendly, if aloof, and Carlisle definitely didn't strike her as feeling threatened after their conversation in their office.

Maggie was watching Bella intently.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" Bella asked.

"Your intentions. What are you after?"

"I'm not after anything."

"That's a lie."

"Excuse me?" Bella looked over at her passenger, astonished.

"My family will not trust you if you don't tell the truth, Bella. You might as well know right now that lying to me will get you nowhere. You went into Carlisle's office yesterday for a reason. What was it?"

Bella hesitated. "He thought I had a crush on him."

Maggie's mouth quirked a bit. The phlegmatic veneer had cracked to temporarily let some amusement through. "You had to make sure that you dispelled him of that notion."

"I was embarrassed."

"So Carlisle knows that you aren't looking for kisses, now what?"

Bella didn't know if it was resentment at being considered entertainment or the obvious fact that the next move was not hers that made her speak so defiantly. "You tell me."

Maggie looked Bella over before speaking again. "You're scared of me, aren't you?"

"Well, I've never met you. You appeared out of nowhere _inside _my truck, and you can kill me within the blink of my eye."

"I won't hurt you, Bella, but you should be scared. Not all vampires are like our family. We are more the exception than the rule."

"Are there many other vampires nearby?" The thought had never occurred to Bella, and she could feel her blood run cold.

"The nearest set are friends of ours and share our taste preferences. Yet nomads occasionally do pass through."

Part of Bella was vaguely aware that the houses they were driving past began to thin out, becoming farther and farther apart as she tried to process this information. Bella wasn't sure she knew how. She was scared. She was glad that the Cullens were more humane. She was very grateful for the kindness that Carlisle and Alice had shown to her.

"Now that you've told Carlisle that you know our secret, what do you want now, Bella?"

"I can't say that I know what I want right now."

Though Bella didn't see it, Maggie's eyes twinkled with appreciation. "Nice wording. Let's try this. What did you plan to do next?"

"Plan? I haven't planned anything."

"Is there someone else that you want to tell about us?"

Confirming the currently straight and empty road before her first, Bella turned and looked right into the golden eyes of her interrogator. "No."

Maggie nodded. "Good!"

Something about that smile and nod broke the tension for Bella. She no longer felt wary of this little woman, firing questions at her as though she could see right through her. "Is that all you really wanted to know? Maggie, I have absolutely no intention of revealing your secret. Your family is an amazing achievement as far as I'm concerned. I would never want people to know the truth about you, because they'd doubt you and shun you, and none of you deserve that."

Maggie's smile remained in place. "I know you mean every word of that. Yet, let me ask you this, Bella. In the five months or so that you've known about us, have you done anything that might raise suspicion?"

Bella started to instantly deny, then held her tongue. She thought of Billy and Jacob. Billy had believed long before Bella came on the scene, and Jacob held himself away from the whole thing with a touch of amusement. Yet she couldn't say that she was entirely blameless for what had happened earlier that very day.

Bella looked up at Maggie, who was patiently awaiting her answer. "I want to say no," Bella began, "but I'm not sure I can. A friend caught me looking at Alice and Jasper in the cafeteria at school today. Somehow that started a conversation at the lunch table about how odd your family is. I said nothing, and it drifted onto a new topic almost as soon as it began – but I don't think anyone would have said anything if Jess hadn't noticed where I was looking."

"Did your friends say anything that wasn't already in their thoughts?"

"Um, no."

"Do you think that they had these thoughts before?"

"Probably."

"Have you been around every time that they might have talked about us?"

"Well, no, probably not."

"Then don't feel so guilty. You cannot personally prevent attention coming our way."

Bella nodded. "Okay."

Smiling again, Maggie reached out and gave Bella's shoulder a slight squeeze. It was more a sign of support than a demonstration of strength. Her light touch made Bella think of Carlisle. The thought that must go into every movement to make sure that someone as comparably fragile as her did not get hurt. Bella inhaled and smiled back on the exhale, taking the reassurance from Maggie, and feeling a new surge of pride in this unusual family.

Maggie tilted her head to look Bella right in the eyes. "Your own attention to us, however, must be addressed. We really can't have you watching us from across the room every day like we're something worth keeping an eye on. Not only would it draw attention to us, but it creates a little oddness about you as well."

"You think I'm odd?"

Maggie laughed, exuding a charming youthfulness belied by the intelligence of her speech. "Most definitely. We wouldn't be in this situation if you were the normal run of a teenage girl. That isn't what I meant to convey, however. I meant that your own social respectability must not diminish because of what might appear to be a strange obsession with Alice and Jasper."

"That's a strange way of looking at it."

"A true one." Maggie smiled again, and somehow her curls gave a little bounce around her face. It made her look adorably cute. "Perhaps the solution is to not have Alice and Jasper so far away."

Bella frowned at her. "What do you mean?"

"My purpose today is to determine whether or not you are a threat. In all honesty, the family is mostly confident that you aren't because of Alice and Carlisle's faith in you. The only thing about you that might cause us risk is what you do unintentionally, like today. I think that you, Alice and Jasper should be friends in your little high school society. It would make things less suspicious."

"You want me to pretend to be their friend?"

"Not pretend, silly. _Be_ their friend. Alice already saw that coming."

"She did?"

Maggie smiled at Bella. "Alice can see the future."

"Of course she can," Bella muttered under her breath, earning a hearty chuckle from Maggie. Giving Bella's thigh a couple of light taps with her left hand, Maggie pointed to an upcoming side road that was barely visible. "Turn here."

Bella obeyed, and had to focus on the road ahead of her. The trees crowded in, making it difficult to see the twisting dirt road.

"Where are we going?"

"You're coming over for a visit."

Bella wanted to look at Maggie in surprise, but didn't dare take her eyes off the road. Somehow, it seemed appropriate that the vampires would live down this road, secluded and obviously difficult to reach. It was the most gothic thing about them that she had encountered. Bella wondered what other surprises she felt almost guaranteed to still come across.

It was a few miles before the woods thinned enough for Bella to see that they had arrived. Six monumental cedars formed a semi-circle around the house. The home had to be at least a hundred years old, which was somewhat surprising, considering how secluded it was. The faded white sides rose up three stories in a perfect rectangle, a large porch hugging the base. Turning the truck off, Bella could swear she heard the sound of a river nearby.

"You like it?" Maggie asked, pleased.

"Yes, wow."

"Come on in, then, and meet the family." With a wink she was out of the truck. Bella couldn't help but feel that Maggie was a bit of an odd one herself. She was a strange combination of steely wisdom and perky cuteness.

Climbing out, Bella's feet made a crunching noise as they settled onto the fallen leaves and pine needles on the ground beneath her. It made Bella realize that no noise came from the bouncy redhead as she led the way to the porch. Excited and no longer apprehensive, Bella followed.

"Bella!" came a happy cry from the doorway just as Alice bounded out. She wrapped her arms around Bella in a fond embrace. It was the most vampire physical contact Bella had experienced, and it was like being hugged by clothed statue. Who put a dress on the Savannah Bird Girl?*

"Um, hi, Alice." Bella grinned as the tiny vampire pulled back. It was funny how Bella had never noticed before that she stood almost half a foot taller than Alice. It was a little surreal, for the last time she'd seen Alice was just over an hour ago, and Bella had been left with such a sense of foreboding. The conversation that she'd had with Maggie since, while tense for her at moments, hardly seemed like it had been worth all the worry. Bella almost laughed at Maggie over the shoulder that Alice threw an arm around to guide Bella inside.

The inside of the Cullen house was spacious and elegantly decorated. Bella couldn't say that she knew much about interior design, but she felt the general impression of quiet wealth amidst the bright openness. The back wall had been replaced entirely with glass, and Bella could see evidence of the river she'd heard from the driveway.

Jasper, who almost never seemed to be far from Alice's side, waited to the left on a raised portion of floor, several paces from the door that Maggie was now closing. He stepped forward with a modest smile. Released from Alice, Bella took his outstretched hand. Jasper's grip was easy and solid. "Hi, Bella."

It was his smile that Bella focused on. It was the first time she'd seen it, and she'd never seen Jasper look friendlier, even if there was still a level of cautious aloofness about him. "Hi," she said. Jasper's smile widened as he removed his hand. He gaze was caught by something above her head, making Bella turn around.

A woman that could only be Esme was descending from the wide staircase that dominated the other side of the room. She had the same features as the rest of the Cullen family: pale skin, golden eyes. Perhaps it was the fact that Bella was watching her come down a set of stairs, or maybe it was her delicate features and slender frame, but Bella found herself being reminded of a silver screen ingénue.

"Hello," Bella offered shyly and Esme smiled at her.

"You must be Bella Swan."

"Guilty."

Esme stepped forward once she reached the bottom of the stares and grasped Bella's hand in both of hers. "It's very nice to know you," she said, beaming in such a way that had Bella grinning back at her.

"It's nice to meet you, too."

"Oh, honey, it's more than meeting you. We're going to get to know you better."

"Exactly what I had in mind," Maggie said. "Alice, you see what I'm thinking?"

"But, of course," Alice grinned, and coming up on Bella's other side, helped Esme to steer her into the dining room. Maggie and Jasper were not far behind. "Come on, Bella. We're taking you on a tour."

The dining room held a huge wooden table, which surprised Bella. Did they eat here? Did they need something this big to lay a buck across while they all sucked it dry? That image was a little disturbing.

"Carlisle has a bit of carpentry in his background. He crafted this table himself," Esme volunteered.

"Where is C - Dr. Cullen?"

"You can call him Carlisle, Bella. He's already told you to." Alice almost chuckled at her. "Carlisle is still at work, and will probably be home later this afternoon."

"Does he know that I'm here?"

Alice looked over at Maggie. "Not really. He knew that Maggie was going to talk to you today, but we rather decided that she would bring you here after he'd already left. Don't worry, he won't be put out by your presence."

"Okay." Bella looked at the table. It was really beautiful, especially now that she knew it was handmade by Carlisle. She was also relieved to see that there were no bloodstains. "So… I'm guessing that you guys don't eat here?"

Everyone chuckled.

"We like to gather here to talk. It's comfortable for us." Maggie explained. Her eyes were on Esme beside her, and the two shared a sort of secret smile.

_Oh,_ Bella thought, observing the obvious affection between them. Perhaps that was why Maggie didn't venture into town so often. Posing as cousins would not work well if that was the way that they looked at each other. Looking over at Alice and Jasper, Bella wondered if Carlisle ever felt like a fifth wheel.

"Oh, Bella," Esme said as if a thought had just struck her. "I'm so sorry. We didn't think to get anything to offer you for refreshment." She gave a sheepish little smile that both expressed embarrassment and encouraged Bella to forgive. "We're not used to human guests."

"Perhaps you'd like something out of the garden," Maggie volunteered.

"You don't have to get anything for me. I'm fine. Your tomatoes were delicious, though."

"You've had our tomatoes?" Maggie asked, surprised.

Bella nodded. "Carlisle passed them out one day when I was at the hospital. Why do you have a garden, if you don't mind my asking?"

"Why not?" Maggie answered. "I've always enjoyed working in the earth, and Esme made me see that I could turn the hobby into a way to help a little. Helping those around us is an important aspect of this family I've discovered. Well, for the adults at least," Maggie tossed over at Alice and Jasper as they all moved out of the dining room.

"I beg your pardon, I think I've been helping out quite a bit lately, thank you very much," Alice retorted.

"By getting your lessons done? When was the last time you gave a stock tip to one of your teachers, Alice?"

The conversation took them about the house and the tour continued. Bella was very amused to see the teasing and affectionate banter between the four vampires. It was a type of family dynamic that she hadn't ever really experienced for herself, and it fascinated her. Bella also got a lot of small questions answered, for instance when she saw the bathroom and Esme explained about the need to clean up, and to have a functioning toilet installed so as not to look suspicious to the plumbers.

They were in the garden when Carlisle arrived. Already bypassing Bella's truck, he picked up on the scent of waterfalls and flowers as he stepped out of the garage. Hearing the conversation and light laughter, he immediately moved in the direction of the garden.

The family stood around Bella Swan, who was watching amused as Jasper and Maggie sassed each other in challenge for their next sparring round. Carlisle felt both surprise and, unaccountably, pleasure at the sight of her.

"Bella."

He watched as Bella started and took an unconscious step backwards, tripping over the cold frame on the raised bed behind her. It was the most charming thing that he'd seen in some time. Laughing, Alice caught Bella before her bottom ruined the cabbages. "Don't fall too hard, there."

"Oh, sorry. Thanks," Bella muttered, a blush coloring her cheeks. Jasper took a step back as Alice helped Bella onto her feet again. Carlisle moved forward, and smiling, he took Bella's hand in his.

"I suppose this is a little late, but welcome to my home. I see that my family has approved of you."

"Oh, um," and Bella's blush increased as her eyes darted around the five standing around her. "Thanks. I guess so. It's nice of them to invite me. I'm sorry it's a surprise."

"Bella, quit apologizing," Maggie ordered.

"As far as I'm concerned, you are welcome here anytime." Esme smiled, her arm around Maggie's waist.

"I agree." Carlisle confirmed, and he lightly let go of Bella's warm hand.

Bella smiled at all of them. "Thank you. To be honest, though, I really ought to get going. I need to be home and getting dinner ready, especially before Charlie wonders where I am."

"I understand," Carlisle said. "Since I just got here, why don't I walk you to your truck?"

"Sure," Bella nodded. "It was really nice talking with you all. I had a good time."

"We enjoyed meeting you, too, Bella."

"Bella, don't be afraid to tell Charlie where you've been this afternoon," Alice advised. "It's just the first of many."

Bella nodded awkwardly over her shoulder as she and Carlisle walked away. "Alright."

Carlisle guided her around the exterior of the building to get back to her truck. Bella seemed to have really enjoyed her visit, and was genuine with her goodbye. Though he knew that his family could easily hear them, Carlisle probed Bella. "I imagine that you were taken by surprise this afternoon when Maggie showed up."

"As she showed up _inside_ my truck, yes, you could say that."

Mentally, Carlisle laughed at Maggie's dramatic flair, but kept it hidden from Bella. "I hope that she didn't frighten you. Maggie really is a sweetheart."

"I was scared, but it doesn't matter. I like Maggie a lot, and Esme as well. And I suppose I was destined to like Jasper and Alice, as we're supposed to be the best of friends at school now."

"Really? Why is that?"

"For our mutual protection, apparently. No one is going to question my noticing Alice and Jasper if we're hanging out all the time. Which, actually, is just going to be lunch, since that's the only time I ever really see them." Bella's steps slowed.

"Is something wrong?"

"No. I guess I just didn't think about how lunches are going to change. It'll be weird, but okay, I'm sure."

Carlisle was thinking along the same lines as he opened Bella's door for her. It certainly would be out of the ordinary to have Bella in their company more often. Yet, the warm feeling he had told him that it would indeed turn out all right.

(~*~)

So it was that Bella found herself becoming more involved with the Cullens. Charlie had raised an eyebrow and shown a spark of interest when she informed him over dinner about where she'd been that afternoon, but he was also pretty laid back about it. Charlie thought that the Cullens were good people, Bella recalled, and she couldn't help think of them that way herself.

There had been surprise and whispers when Bella sat with Alice and Jasper at lunch the following school day, but interest died down fairly quickly. The three of them would vary lunchtime up, Bella would join her usual lunch crowd and sometimes Alice and Jasper would sit with Bella at Jessica's table. They kept those occasions to a minimum, though, particularly when Jasper hadn't eaten in a few days. Bella had learned that Jasper, not having converted to his all animal diet until shortly before meeting Alice in 1948, was the newest to avoiding humans. Bella couldn't help but admire his and Alice's self-control, being surrounding by students most of the week.

"The fact that it's adolescents helps," Jasper confided in her once. "Not only morally, but the smells really ruin the appeal of the blood. Sweat, unwashed bodies, unwashed clothes, not to mention bodily fluids of a more personal nature."

Bella kept her face blank, having decided not to go there, but Jasper pressed. "It's not just girls and guys getting turned on by a daydream, or making out in dark corners, but some of them come to school with stains on their pants and underwear."

"Yuck, Jasper!"

Jasper laughed, having gotten the rise out of her he was looking for. Bella's classmates had never felt dirtier to her than they had the next day. She'd scrubbed thoroughly in the shower both nights.

Alice was an interesting element to Bella's new social life. Unlike the rest of the family, Bella didn't gradually get to know her more. Alice was instantly by her side, bubbly and chattering away as if they'd already known each other for years. Despite their short acquaintance, Bella felt comfortable telling her anything, which was just as well since almost nothing was private with a vampire family that could hear, smell and see just about everything about you. Alice would return the favor and frequently share what was on her own mind. Bella sometimes wondered if the fact that the other females in the house were changed at older ages made Alice turn to her, as though she filled a gap Alice had in her life. Yet, Bella never felt that her – or any of their - maturity stayed at the age in which they were changed. The vampire venom may have frozen their bodies, but their minds were ever alert and growing.

That's part of what made talking with Carlisle so fascinating and enjoyable. He was something of the scholarly type (which she'd gleaned already based on their conversation in the ER) and he was wonderful to turn to when certain philosophical questions came to mind. She'd actually talked with him once about that very subject, the ever-growing vampire mind.

"If your mind never stops taking in the new experiences, do you just become more evolved? Like the monks in Tibet trying to achieve enlightenment."

"That's an interesting theory," Carlisle answered. "I don't particularly consider myself more evolved, but I can respect the wisdom of those older than myself. Maggie, for instance."

"Maggie's older than you?"

"Yes, by almost a thousand years."

Bella was dumbstruck. She literally felt her body still as she sat in Carlisle's office, and felt her tongue go numb. She had no words, though her mind was racing.

Carlisle found her reaction interesting. It was much different than when he'd informed her of his own age, and yet much the same.

"Bella, you are alright?"

Bella slowly nodded. She felt grateful that she had gotten to know the Cullens better before learning this. "Maggie is…" The words came out almost strangled. Bella took a swallow and tried again. "Maggie is thirteen hundred years old?"

"Yes, she is."

"Oh, well… I guess that explains why she's so short."

Carlisle blinked at her before he burst out laughing, and soon Bella joined him. Their laughter made the other vampires in the house smile, and Esme cupped her hand tenderly around Maggie's cheek.

It was an evening similar to that when Bella first learned of the two other members of the Cullen family. Maggie and Jasper were out, sparring in the woods. They both enjoyed honing their athletic skills, as it were. Bella understood that their bodies never changed, but being athletic was also a discipline of the mind. The thought of mental discipline reminded Bella of Maggie's age, and the fact that Alice and Jasper had joined the family at a later point. Following this thread of thought, Bella asked Carlisle and Esme about how they had found each other.

There was an odd silence in the room.

"Carlisle turned me into a vampire, Bella." Esme spoke calmly. "I was not the first. We are a family of seven, though only five of us live here."

Hesitantly, Bella asked, "Where are the other two?"

"I think that's something Carlisle should tell," Alice said, and Esme agreed. Carlisle's face held a resignation as Alice and Esme left the room.

_Well, this isn't ominous or anything_, Bella thought to herself as her own way of breaking the tension. Carlisle watched Bella, his face schooling into something that showed no emotion. Bella didn't like it.

"I have made three vampire progeny," Carlisle began. "While I consider them all my family, only Esme lives with me."

Bella waited quietly for Carlisle to continue.

"I have lived on my own for most of my existence. I had already become learned as a doctor when the Spanish Influenza hit Chicago. Edward was the first I changed, the first to become a member of my family. That was back in 1918.

"Esme I had treated as a young lady before I met Edward. Three years after Edward joined me I came across her in a different town, a different life. Her body was broken, but there was a spark of life lingering."

Carlisle broke out of the story mode, and spoke intently. "I want you to see, Bella, that I have never brought someone into this existence unless their human life was already over for them."

Bella nodded. It was clearly important to him, and truthfully it didn't surprise her. Carlisle was a caring man, and it seemed exactly like the type of thing that he would do.

"I took Esme and Edward with me to visit Ireland, as a way to sort of embrace Esme's freedom when she was no longer a newborn. We visited friends I had made there, and that is when Esme and Maggie met. Maggie returned with us to the New World, giving up her way of life for ours."

"You mean she…"

"Yes. Love made Maggie choose to leave behind her own coven and a way of life she had been accustomed to for centuries. She became the third to join my family.

"Rosalie was the fourth. We were living in Rochester and Rosalie was a member of society there. So I had seen her before she… got hurt. Being society didn't protect her from becoming a victim. The scent of her blood led me to find her broken and abused body in a side street. There was nothing I could do for her; she was too far gone.

"I felt very strongly the sorrow of it. She had been a beautiful girl, in love and about to marry. There was no giving that back to her, but I could still give her something. So in that alley I made the decision to save her the only way I could.

"Edward is also a vampire with a gift. He was able to see in Rosalie's mind that the very man she had been about to marry was the one who had hurt her- he and four of his friends. What Rosalie went through that night, only to have it followed by three days of the excruciating pain of having her body change into one of us…"

Bella put her hand out and lightly touched Carlisle's knuckles before quickly withdrawing it. Carlisle nodded at her kindly, acknowledging.

"Rosalie's first decision as a new vampire was to track down the men who had hurt her."

"She fed on them?"

Carlisle shook his head. "No. Like myself, Rosalie has never eaten human blood. She abhors the whole concept of being a vampire. She would rather have died that night. Rosalie killed each of those men, slowly and painfully. I could not have stopped her if I tried."

Bella took a moment to process this. The guilt that Carlisle felt over Rosalie was obvious. Yet he had said that they were still family- which meant that they loved each other. He also said that he had never consumed human blood. Three hundred and thirty-nine years as a vampire and he'd never eaten anything other than animals? There was so much more to this man that she still had to learn. Yet, one story at a time.

"I have never tried to force my choices on my…children," Carlisle continued. "I hoped that they would choose the path that I have taken. Edward did for a while, as does Esme. Yet Edward's gift was a burden to him. Every time he would happen to hear a thought of a less than savory nature it would catalyst his natural vampire desires and urges. He left Esme, Maggie and I for a time, but he came back. He had not enjoyed how feeding on humans made him feel, even if he only fed on criminals. He returned to the family heavy-hearted and kept to himself more than ever. This was before Rosalie came to be a part of our family."

Somehow Bella knew where this story was going. The vampire who had sought out vengeance and killed those that hurt her meets the vampire who chose to kill and eat those who hurt others.

Carlisle was watching Bella's expressions and he nodded at her sadly. "I see you understand. Rosalie can be very persuasive."

"So she persuaded Edward to…"

"Yes," Carlisle answered. "She wanted use of Edward's gift at reading minds. In turn, she can hold him back, keep him from indulging his need to feed when they kill."

"They're vigilantes," said Bella Swan, daughter of the chief of police. "Vampire vigilantes."

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*The Savannah Bird Girl is a famous statue that once stood in Bonaventure Cemetery in Savannah, GA. Most of you will likely recognize it; there's a link on my profile under Alice.

**A/N: ****How many of you caught the hints with Rosalie's pictures? To be honest, I don't know how much of a surprise Edward and Rosalie's situation is, as I've had this in mind all along. You'll have to tell me. :) Obviously, you'll find out more in the next chapter, for which I still have some period research to do.**

**Quick word of thanks to those awesome people that support me as the chapter is in progress, whom I neglected to thank last chapter: Aryanna, Kristine, Kendall and my Ichabod.**

**Review if you liked it!**

**Next Chapter... A flashback to 1934, and the "Birth of the Dark Duo," as I laughingly called it when I started the doc several months ago. **


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: This is a virgin chapter folks, it has not been previewed or proofread by anyone other than myself.**

**WARNING: This chapter contains some dark imagery.**

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~*~ Chapter Eleven ~*~

Rochester, New York - February 1934

Rochester was a city in official celebration of itself. It had been a hundred years since its founding, and the Rochester Centennial was underway. Building was almost completed on the new post office on Cumberland Street, to be commemorated in less than a month. Craftsmen from all over Monroe County were building and preparing for the Hobby Show in August that would be the single most significant event of the upcoming summer. Citizens were working hard and feeling good about themselves and what they could accomplish. It was a deliberate morale booster by the city for the people while all across the country many suffered under the low economy. Despite its hopeful outlook, the city of Rochester still bowed to constraints. For over a year, one third of the eighteen thousand street lamps in the city had not been lit in order to foster financial survival. It was both an advantage and a disadvantage to the city.

With so much less light, there were a lot more dark corners and alleys where illicit and unlawful things could occur. Ten months earlier a young woman, no older than eighteen years, had been found in such a dark alley. The doctor who came across her was not able to heal her wounds, or give her back the life that she had known. Yet he was able to give her life, and picking her up and carrying her to his home, he had done so.

Rosalie Hale had not recovered gracefully. She remembers the cold and the pain she felt as she waited to die. She remembers resenting Dr. Carlisle Cullen, first when he appeared and tried to save her, and again when in the warmth of his house she started to slip away only instead to feel the sharp cut of his teeth. She screamed. Rosalie screamed for days, begging everyone in the house to just please kill her. She wanted to die. Carlisle sat by her, holding her hand and apologizing every time she screamed.

The four members of the Cullen family were all on hand to give her guidance as she adjusted to her new life as a vampire. Rosalie had never shown it, but she was grateful to them. She did not want to be alone. Yet as soon as she'd gained a sense of control over her strength, it was alone that she moved forward for revenge. One by one, she killed the men who had hurt her, saving her fiancé for last. No one helped her, and no one could stop her. After each killing Rosalie returned to the Cullen home, meeting with the grief of Esme, the understanding of Maggie and the reluctant acceptance of Carlisle. Edward simply said nothing.

In the months that passed the rest of the Cullen family simply stopped thinking about what she had done, though Rosalie did not. She remained hidden in the house, as the need for vengeance no longer superceded the wisdom of preventing recognition. The Cullens had remained in Rochester after Rosalie's disappearance from society to avoid attention being called to themselves. Had Rosalie been less widely known, moving her away from proximity to the life she had known would have been more prudent. All the same, an urban legend would sprout up in Rochester of the missing debutante and her rich fiancé who disappeared mere months later.

Carlisle's concern for Rosalie did not abate. While she may have been flawless on the exterior, he worried about the wounds she carried within, those that could not be healed by the death of the men who had hurt her. Esme shared his concerns and Carlisle would often let Esme take the lead in trying to talk with Rosalie. Esme had experienced years of a less lethal, though no less brutal, abuse from her human husband. However, time and pregnancy had given Esme something Rosalie never had the chance for: the strength to get away. It was a difference that prevented the help in healing that Esme could offer. Carlisle suspected that Esme's happiness in Maggie was also contributing to the gap between her and Rosalie. Though Carlisle wanted to help, he did not know how he could be able to, when Esme was not.

That particular evening, it was not Rosalie whom Carlisle sought out to be a shoulder for. When Carlisle found Edward, he was sitting against the wall of his personal room. Edward's elbows were resting on his bent knees, his hands supporting his head. The tension he was feeling was obvious, and most apparent in the sprawled fingers that clung through the red-tinted dark hair.

Edward was the most unique of the family members that Carlisle had turned, for he was the only one to come to his vampire abilities with an enhanced gift. While Maggie had the unerring ability to determine the truth and recognize deception, Edward's gift was even more extrasensory. He could read the minds of all around him, with no exception except for some limit as to distance. Carlisle was not entirely sure how far off one had to be to avoid their thoughts no longer being private. As a newborn Edward had learned to filter what he heard as he had learned to control his thirst and strength. It was either that, or become insane from the onslaught.

Carlisle's first family member had stayed with him for almost a decade, living the same life choice in feeding but for one or two accidents. Edward was driven to set on his own path away from Carlisle's teaching and influence by a culmination of things: hearing unwelcome dark thoughts from the people in the towns around him, a philosophy born from the rage he felt when experiencing Esme's memories of abuse and the appeal of a recent accident that happened to involve a man who had murdered for money without getting caught. Carlisle knew that in those four years of hunting humans Edward had encountered horrors beyond Carlisle's own experience. Carlisle had always striven to lead a good life, while Edward had deliberately thrown himself amongst the worst of humankind.

Edward had returned to living with the Cullen family less than three years earlier. In that time, he had kept mostly to himself, not often talking with anyone. Things had been better recently, though since Rosalie had joined the family Edward had taken to walking the streets of Rochester. Since his return to the house this evening, no one in the family had seen him and Carlisle knew it was time to find his eldest child and be a shoulder for him.

"Edward," Carlisle said.

Edward slowly raised his head to look up at him, and there was a brief instant before the tension in his shoulders loosened a fraction.

"I want to kill this man."

Carlisle's face gave nothing away before he eased himself to the floor beside Edward. "Tell me."

Edward looked over at Carlisle before fixing his gaze blankly on the wall across from him.

"You and I, we are not animals."

"No," Carlisle agreed.

"Though I am a monster and you are not."

"Edward, do not-"

Only Carlisle was not able to finish, for Edward's turmoil had found a voice and did not want to be stayed.

"Killing is the simplest thing I have done, a thing that we all do. I, however, have hunted, stood above them as if I were superior and listened to their minds to seek what I felt right to destroy. When I found the element I wanted, I sunk myself into them, brought myself to their darkness and equaled it. I taunted them, made them to fear before I fed on them, taking what they were and swallowing it into myself."

Edward looked into Carlisle's eyes, his face miserable. "I enjoyed it."

Carlisle placed a hand on Edward's shoulder, all sympathy. "You came not to."

"Nothing, _nothing_, was worse than feeding on them. They were monsters. There was one who not only murdered, he tortured and mutilated his victims. There was yet another who ingested them." Carlisle felt sickened even as Edward continued on without pause. "They were monsters and so was I."

Edward inhaled through his nose. "I do not regret their deaths; yet I could never allow myself to take nourishment from a human again."

"I am proud of you, Edward. It cannot be easy to have been as torn as you have and still find yourself whole."

Edward made a derisive noise. "I am not whole, Carlisle. I still want to punish. I was tempted today by the thoughts of a man and a part of me delighted at the idea of bringing about his death just as I used to."

"What happened?"

Edward sighed, closing his eyes against the pain.

"I came across the mind of a schoolmaster in town. He has taken on several new female students, girls no older than ten years. He has done nothing to harm them, and teaches them as he does the boys."

Carlisle waited for the story to turn.

"He has an awareness of the girls: the ankles that show under their skirts, the soft skin of their necks and how smooth and hairless it would be to touch all the way down. He desires them, fantasizes about them, more than just a daydream fancy. I was a lengthy distance away and I could almost smell his sweat as he thought of it.

"I wanted to kill him, to follow Schoolmaster Prodan into his home and frighten him before I finally sunk my teeth into his neck."

"Yet, you came home, Edward. You fought the urge within yourself to kill and won."

"Yes. I know. That does not change the fact that I want to. So much of me wants to indulge in being the punisher, in that dance of hunter and prey again. Yet this man is a man capable of mindfulness and reason. He has not actually committed any crimes. Who am I to kill because of what someone might do, because of a thought in someone's head? I am not so godly. I am not of God at all."

"Edward, we are all creatures of God, even vampires. Like your schoolmaster we are capable of reason above our impulses."

Edward started to respond, to enter into an argument that dated back to his early days with Carlisle. Instead his head abruptly turned towards the door. "Rosalie," was all he said to Carlisle before he was off running.

Realizing that something was wrong, Carlisle gave chase as well. It was a few seconds before it occurred to him that Rosalie had obviously overheard his conversation with Edward. Fearing the action Rosalie might have decided to take, Carlisle quickened his pace to catch up with his faster children.

Rosalie still held on to some of her extra newborn speed, and while Edward was faster than the average vampire, Rosalie was still significantly ahead of him. When he reached the schoolmaster's house, he was already too late. George Prodan lay on the floor, his neck broken. His head was tilted back and bones from his neck protruded forward, just barely not breaking through the skin. Edward wished that he could say it was the most grotesque image he had seen, but sadly the truth was that it was one of the more mild mutilations he'd witnessed. Still, this did not prevent him from feeling horror at the scene in front of him.

Rosalie stood waiting for him, her arms crossed over her chest, one shod foot propped on the body at her feet, its delicate toe sinking just barely into the cadaver's stomach.

"Rosalie… what were you thinking?"

"That's ironic, coming from you." The gold red of her eyes flashed dangerously at him. "You should be able to tell me exactly what thoughts passed through my mind, Edward."

Edward said nothing and Rosalie scoffed.

"This man deserved to die."

"He had not done anything wrong, Rosalie. His thoughts may have led him in a particular direction, but his hands never strayed to where they should not."

"Let me tell you this, mind reader." Rosalie's expression and stance was an image of beauty and dark purpose united. "There is no difference to men like him. If they are thinking about it, they will do it. Now George Prodan never will. No young ladies will ever be violated by him, and I am glad to have killed him before he could."

"To kill him for his thoughts, Rosalie?"

"Thoughts lead to deeds, Edward." It was an impulse; a thought that came so quick that Edward did not have time to evade. Rosalie seized him by the throat and slammed him into the wall, all the rage against him that she had been holding back seeping out of her and adding even more strength to her arms. "Is this the first time you have heard a man's thoughts and done nothing?"

Carlisle arrived to find them in that tableau. The body on the floor, Edward's neck in the stranglehold of Rosalie's porcelain white fingers, and a red-eyed expression on Rosalie's face that Carlisle had seen only in the Old World. After a millisecond's deliberation, Carlisle held his ground. Rosalie still had her superior newborn strength, and trying to prise Rosalie from Edward would not likely meet with success, and could possibly result in the crushing of Edward's throat. It struck Carlisle, more forcibly than ever before, that there was something still broken inside of Rosalie.

"Whom else did you hear, Edward? Before I died, what other thoughts could you have acted on?"

"I could not have known that he would hurt you." The words barely made it out on the last breath Edward had stored in him.

"Rosalie, stop this. Set Edward down."

Rosalie continued to ignore Carlisle's appearance. Her every focus remained on the vampire in her grasp. She seemed so lost in her own crashing emotions Carlisle almost doubted whether she was even aware of his presence.

"Admit it," she seethed.

Edward struggled to speak around her clenching of his throat. Though he did not need air to breathe, he needed air to speak. Rosalie relaxed her grip only slightly; her other arm came around to press against his torso and continue to hold him against the wall.

"Royce King was worse than a misogynist. He had no respect for women in any capacity, not even for their flesh. You were a decoration on his arm that enhanced his own image of himself. Though you were of less worth to him than a silk necktie, you were still an asset. I had no reason to believe he would turn on you."

"You were wrong!" Rosalie screamed at him. "Being on his arm meant that I was in more danger than anyone! You could have stopped him. You could have killed Royce before he hurt me, or any others who came before me."

Edward wanted to protest. He wanted to claim blamelessness. Yet he had known, from a flicker of a thought crossing in the fiend's mind, he had known what Royce had done before. That he could not deny.

Even as Carlisle called out in protest, Rosalie slammed Edward against the wall again, causing cracks and breaks in the pressed pattern tin sheeting into the fibrous cement underneath. "Admit it! You knew what Royce was capable of and did nothing."

Carlisle grabbed hold of the arm Rosalie had pressed against Edward's sternum. Rosalie allowed him to pull her away, her only acknowledgement of his presence, and Edward slid into a heap on the floor. Asbestos floated down on and around him.

"Yes," he said.

Surprise and regret filled Carlisle. He had never suspected that Edward knew beforehand about the kind of man Rosalie's fiancé was. Edward buried so much inside of himself – and for Rosalie to have suspected the truth, on top of constantly reliving what had happened to her - Carlisle's heart was breaking for both of his children.

Rosalie crouched, a pace away from the puddle of guilt that was Edward. Her eyes stared into him, forcing his gaze up to meet hers. "Just as tonight you knew what this man was capable of and planned to do nothing."

"Yes," Edward said.

"You owe me," she hissed at him.

In that second a grotesque smell permeated the room as the body on the floor released the fluids of urine and excrement it still held inside. At this point in his life Carlisle was desensitized to such a smell. He noticed that neither of the other vampires reacted, too caught up in their own personal agonies.

"What exactly does Edward owe you, Rosalie? He cannot undo what has been done. There is no healing he can offer you. You have every right to be angry at what happened to you, but acting this way is not going to help."

Rosalie's gaze shifted to Carlisle only briefly, conveying both a command and plea to let her finish, before fastening on Edward again. "Why have you been avoiding me, Edward? Why these long walks in the city, and keeping to other rooms when home?"

"That should be obvious."

"You are avoiding my thoughts, why?"

Carlisle wanted to intervene and take both his hurting children home. Yet, somehow the situation was allowing a sort of fascinating therapy to occur, and it stilled him from interfering. Perhaps Edward and Rosalie needed to have this conversation, as dangerous as it felt to Carlisle.

"Rosalie, you keep yourself in constant torment. You shift from thinking of what happened to you to remembering how good it felt to hurt those men. I have my own pain; I don't need yours."

"I believe that I have just proven my pain is yours, Edward. You deserve to see every moment that I have had to relive. However, your avoidance has another cause." Rosalie crouched closer to Edward. "Do not think that I did not understand what you told Carlisle. It is the pleasure I take in remembering the kills that gets under your skin. It appeals to you, makes you remember what you have already done, what you stopped doing too soon."

Now that was too much for Carlisle. Rosalie was manipulating Edward, and suggesting he go down a path Carlisle was very thankful that Edward had left.

"Stop this, Rosalie."

"Stop."

Both Carlisle and Edward spoke at once, though Edward's one word protest was weak. His eyes clenched against the memories in her mind, resisting the way they made the venom burn within him. He took a breath.

"I know what you want of me, Rosalie. I could never drink human blood again."

"Fool," Rosalie said. "Look at who is in this room with you, and rethink why it should even be necessary."

"Do not make me a part of what you are trying to do, Rosalie." There was a dangerous edict in Carlisle's voice, and both Edward and Rosalie inwardly flinched to hear it.

"Carlisle, I am only referring to the example you have made for all of us." Rosalie's voice was the most normal it had been since he'd arrived. She actually sounded kind again. "I admire what you've done, and I'm proud of you for it. Feasting on humans is despicable, and it makes demons out of us if we do it."

"She is right, Carlisle." Edward sat up. "You _are_ right, Rosalie. I have never felt less like I still have my soul than when I have fed."

"You will never have to again, Edward. I can help you, if it ever gets too strong to bear." Rosalie reached a hand out and grasped his wrist in a gesture of caring camaraderie. "Let me help you. It is the solution to your pain, Edward. We can help people together by using our abilities, and we can help each other. That is what makes us different from the monsters."

It was a moment of decided change, and Carlisle recognized it. He knew that despite the forthcoming arguments and discussions they would have, Edward and Rosalie would move on, seeking their own path. Lit by the moonlight shining in through the windows on all three of them, Carlisle watched acceptance manifest on Edward's face and felt the break within his family begin to happen.

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**I have a writing blog on blogspot that I've been keeping up, letting you know how things are progressing with chapters as I write (yes, hints, too) and giving a few Recs. Link is at the top of my profile if you want to follow me. :) I'm waiting to write up a rec for "Renewal" by Zoya Zalan until I know more people will see it! In the meantime, check out "Renewal" by Zoya Zalan, it's in my favorites.**

**Since no one has seen this ahead of time, please let me know what you thought! Good, bad, ugly ...**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Disclaimer: The Gaelic in this chapter is not modern Irish Gaelic. Researching a language no longer spoken and determining the correct conjugations is fun, but not easy. All errors are my own.**

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~*~ Chapter Twelve ~*~

_Killers. They're killers. _Bella spat into the sink, and brought her toothbrush to her mouth again, slowly working the rear teeth. She looked on the reflection of her face in the mirror without really seeing it. How was she supposed to be dealing with the sudden knowledge of two people who were out there purposely killing? Not for food or country, but for twisted reasons of their own?

Moving her brush to the other side of her mouth, Bella worked the bristles as she continued to stare blankly in the mirror. How would she have felt if she had been hurt like Rosalie? Or if she could have stopped something before it happened, like Edward? Yet all Bella got from trying to think of those things was a deep sick feeling in her gut. She spit out the last of the paste in her mouth and rinsed the brush. fAs she tapped the excess water off she heard Charlie on the other side of the bathroom door.

"Bella?"

"Yeah, Dad, I'll be right out."

Her father was standing in the hallway, hands tucked in his back jean pockets and flannel shirt hanging unbuttoned to reveal the "Fish Wanted" t-shirt she had gotten him for his birthday. _If you catch this fish, please release it so I can catch him again. He's mine!_

"What's up?" she asked.

"Just wanted to catch you before you went to bed." Charlie had a reluctant fatherly expression on his face that Bella interpreted to mean he felt he was about to deliver bad news. "There've been some budget cuts from the state. I'm not going to have as much money coming in as I did before."

"Oh, Dad, that sucks."

"Yeah," Charlie said in that single syllable tone that made it sound like he was about to deposit into a spittoon though he'd never chewed tobacco a day in his life. "You're eighteen years old, and I haven't been pushy on this subject so far. I know that you've been spending a lot of time with your friends, especially the Cullens. I'm happy about that but, Bells, I think it might be time for you to get a job. With Christmas coming up there's got to be some places about to hire part-time."

"You're right. I've been thinking about that, actually." Bella looked down at Charlie's t-shirt instead of his face. She acknowledged to herself that the Cullens were part of the reason why she'd delayed looking. "I'm sorry I waited so long. You shouldn't have had to ask me."

"You've only got another year here. I don't want you to be gone all the time, but a job would be healthy for you."

"I'll start looking," Bella promised.

"Alright," Charlie said, frowning at his daughter's downcast eyes. "Something wrong?"

The thoughts raced across Bella's mind as she looked back up at her father. The secrets that she had been keeping from him had taken a more severe turn that afternoon. She wished that she could tell him all about Edward and Rosalie, and how sick what they were doing made her feel. Yet she couldn't, not even in a general way. Her father was law and order, and if they weren't vampires it would be his job to stop them. He'd even be able to talk to her about why it was wrong and he had to take a stand against it. Bella felt a sudden fierce surge of love for Charlie.

Yet she couldn't take comfort from him.

"No, just tired, and a little regretful. I'll find a way to earn some money and help out a little more."

"You're a good girl, Bella." This time it was Charlie that felt the surge of love. Bella smiled at him.

"Thanks."

"Yeah, well." There would be no hug, or kiss on the cheek. Charlie didn't work that way. "Goodnight, then."

"Goodnight."

Charlie made his way down the stairs and Bella went into her room.

Though she didn't remember them in the morning, her dreams were fretful, and she woke to find her blankets twisted and half off the bed from her thrashing.

(~*~)

The vision made Alice tense up. Her fingers clawed into the cushion of the seat in which she sat, tearing holes in the upholstery. Jasper could feel the shock and unhappiness coming from his mate, and carefully reached out to stroke the back of her hand. Anything more would not be wise while Alice's eyes remained unfocused.

She turned her head towards Jasper and whispered two words: "Holy shit."

The unexpected curse startled everyone in the house, and soon movements could be heard as the other vampires began to make their way into the computer room. Alice rose from her position at the desk and shut the laptop she'd been on before the vision came, sending a pinch of dust to twirl in the sunlight streaming from the window. "Dining room, please," she spoke and soon everyone was assembled there, serious and concerned expressions on their faces.

Alice rarely had a vision that was cause for concern, yet everyone knew immediately that this was what had occurred. Jasper sat by Alice, holding her hand in both of his.

"Edward and Rosalie have set their travel plans to come to us for Thanksgiving." This was not a surprise to anyone, but Alice shared it to explain the decision that prompted the danger. "Edward is not going to have a friendly reaction to Bella."

"What do you mean?" Carlisle immediately asked, his inexplicable worry that Alice's vision had something to do with Bella confirmed.

Alice's expression wavered as she looked at Carlisle. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I didn't see this before. He must not have been close enough in Port Angeles, was never going to be…" Alice realized that she had to justify an explanation to herself later. Everyone was waiting. "Bella's scent – it's going to appeal to Edward in a way that he's never experienced before. He is going to want to take her blood immediately."

"I thought you said that there was no danger?" Esme asked, worry etched clearly across her sparkling face.

"You said that Bella will live as a human for years to come." Carlisle's frown did not do justice to the conflict of emotions inside him.

"That is still true. Bella is not going to die at Edward's hands. We need to come up with a plan now so that I can see how things will settle."

"What exactly do you see happening now, poppet?" Jasper asked gently.

"I see Edward acting so fast and out of control that Bella gets hurt before he is stopped. It takes everyone but Esme and I to do it." Alice looked at Carlisle, emitting a sort of reluctant admiration. "You actually break his arms off."

"That does not sound like a way that Edward would behave," Esme said.

"A singer," Maggie said.

Carlisle nodded. "That is what I think, too."

"What do you mean?" Esme's eyes darted between the two of them.

"A singer is a human whose blood calls so strongly to a vampire that it is nearly irresistible. It does not happen often, vampires find mates more easily than they do their singer."

"That sounds exactly it," Alice agreed.

"We have to tell her," Carlisle said with determination.

"We will. When Edward calls in a few minutes you should talk to him, Maggie. Tell him what I've seen and explain what a singer is. Edward has learned a lot of self-control from Rosalie; it'll be better if he is prepared. If everyone knows ahead of time, we'll all be on hand to prevent him from touching her."

"Why not just keep Bella away?" Esme asked.

"And have him come across her scent in town, not to mention all over this house?" Jasper shook his head. "We should not hide her."

"No hiding," Alice agreed. "Absolutely no hiding Bella. She's part of our family."

"How soon will she get here?" Carlisle asked. "She should nearly be done her classes for today."

Alice tilted her head at him. "Actually, she's going to have some trouble with her truck. It won't start. Take your Mercedes and pick her up, Carlisle. The tinted windows will help."

Normally Carlisle might have shown some amused resistance to being given an order by Alice, but this time he agreed. He had a need to see Bella at that moment and reassure himself of her safety. Grabbing his keys and a superfluous jacket out of habit, Carlisle headed out the door. As he left, he heard Esme's cell phone ring.

Maggie answered Esme's phone and Alice turned to Jasper, pressing against him as Maggie began talking. Jasper wrapped his arms around Alice in return and she felt warmed and comforted as she buried her head against his chest.

"I think that we're going to need something to break the tension once Bella gets here," she murmured. Jasper merely kissed the top of his mate's head and continued to hold her tight. A smile played across Alice's face.

(~*~)

Slipping out the door from her last class, Bella carried her bag out to her truck, calling out good-byes to Mike and Jessica. She'd been better able to compartmentalize during the school day, and thoughts of Edward and Rosalie's vigilantism only touched her occasionally. She was hoping to be able to continue to put them aside and enjoy the afternoon with the Cullens, watching them occasionally sparkle as bits of light made it passed the trees and through their windows. It was so surreal and beautiful. One day she hoped that she'd see the full effect, rather than snatches on different areas of their skin.

"Hey, Bella, hold on!" Angela called to her from across the lot, and Bella stopped as Angela made her way over to her.

"How are you?" Angela asked.

"I'm fine." Bella blinked at Angela, a little puzzled.

"It just seems like I haven't seen much of you lately, outside of lunch."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Once again, Bella found herself looking downward rather than making eye contact. "I've been spending a lot of time over at the Cullens'."

"I noticed." Angela smiled shyly. "I've always liked them. But, I kind of miss you."

"Aw, Ang. I'm sorry. I don't mean to exclude you." Bella really didn't want Angela to feel blown off. How many other people felt this way?

"Want to come over to my place right now? We could catch up."

Bella smiled sadly. "That sounds great, but I've sort of got plans."

"Aren't the Cullens hiking or something?"

"It's not with them." Bella felt awful for lying to Angela, but she couldn't exactly say that the Cullens were all home hiding from the sun. "Tell you what, let's do something this Friday, unless you're already doing something with Ben."

"No. Well, nothing firm, but I'd love to see you. Why don't we have a girls' night in Port Angeles again? Dinner, movie. We could go check out that Johnny Cash movie with Reese Witherspoon or the Jane Austen movie."

"Sounds awesome."

"Great! I'll check out times and we'll firm up plans tomorrow." Angela gave Bella a quick hug before hurrying off to where Ben waited.

By the time that Bella reached her truck, most of the students had already pulled out. The lot was empty of people, though a few cars lingered that belonged to athletes. Bella unlocked her truck, swung her schoolbag onto the seat and shoved it down as she climbed in. Buckling her seatbelt, she put the keys in the ignition and turned.

Nothing happened. The engine didn't purr, stutter or screech. There was absolutely nothing. Releasing herself from the seat, Bella climbed out of the cab and checked under the hood. She wasn't due yet for her oil change, and while the level was a little low, there was still plenty there. That pretty much exhausted what Bella knew about checking engines. Frustrated, Bella stepped back before letting the hood slam down again. She should walk back to the office and call Jake. She hadn't seen him for a while either.

Grabbing her bag, Bella locked up her truck and started walking when she noticed a sleek black Mercedes pull silently abreast of her and recognized it as Carlisle's.

_Alice_, Bella thought gratefully, and pulled open the passenger side door.

"I hear that you need a ride," Carlisle said, and Bella grinned at him as she slid into the seat. She'd never been in a car as fancy as this, and she couldn't help notice the buttery soft texture of the Nappa leather.

"Thank you," Bella said. Once again, she was snapping herself in, and Carlisle smiled to see her do it. She was nearby and safe, and he allowed a part of himself to relax. "I don't suppose that Alice might have seen what is actually wrong with my truck?"

"She did not say," Carlisle answered as he pulled out. They got on the highway and Bella noticed that he looked a little tense; his eyes kept darting over to her.

"Carlisle, is something wrong?"

His expression softened as he looked at Bella. "Not at the moment. I am afraid that we have had some unexpected news, and we will all be discussing it once I get you to the house."

"Is it bad?"

"Alice says that it will not turn out to be."

"That's good, then."

Carlisle nodded, then he reached out and took Bella's hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. His fingers felt cool and smooth against her skin, and Bella wondered if this was really the first time that she'd felt his hands on her without gloves. "I am a little worried. Why don't we talk about something else until we get there?" Giving her hand another squeeze, Carlisle let go.

Bella watched him carefully. Carlisle really did seem worried, but he also seemed a little more relaxed now. "Okay," she said, before realizing what she'd just heard. "Hey, you just said 'don't.'"

Carlisle glanced her way, bemused. "Yes?"

"You said 'why don't we talk about something else.' You used a contraction. I almost never hear you use contractions."

Carlisle laughed. "It's true, I don't. I have always had a little trouble with contractions, though it has gotten easier the last few years. I find that I am using them a lot more often since September."

"Why do you have trouble?"

"Language shifts. Part of the charade I need to play as an American-born twenty-eight-year-old requires my use of the flatter accent and the contractions. I like to think that I mastered the accent a generation or two ago. Contractions have only become more necessary the last few decades. I prefer to speak the words out, but they've recently seeped into my private use, like with you now."

"That's crazy," Bella said. "I mean, wow. The accent I get, but wouldn't word use be easier? It just kind of becomes part of your lingo. I remember the first time I caught myself saying 'my bad.' I was horrified."

Carlisle laughed again, and hearing it in the smaller space of the car it seemed extra warming to Bella. "We still hold onto some expressions, I think. Haven't you heard Jasper call Alice 'poppet?'"

Bella nodded. "It's odd, but I just go with it. He knows enough not to say it in school."

"School gives Alice and Jasper the added advantage of being among the teenage population, where popular expressions are more prevalent."

Bella snorted. "See? That right there. You choose words like 'prevalent' instead of saying 'where teenagers talk a lot of slang.'"

Carlisle slanted Bella a look. "Are you calling me old-fashioned again?"

Bella grinned. "A little. I like it."

Carlisle and Bella shared a smile of affection as their eyes met. Then Carlisle's gaze moved back onto the woodsy road ahead, leaving Bella's to wander about the car. She noticed an odd button near her seat, and curious, she pressed it. Her butt immediately began to vibrate. Almost frantically, Bella slapped the same button and the sensation stopped.

Carlisle was chuckling as they pulled up to the house, and Bella pretended not to hear.

Inside the door, Carlisle gentlemanly helped her out of her coat before putting it on the rack. Bella was sorry to see that his smile was gone again, and wondered what sort of news would have him so worried. Her mind briefly flitted towards Edward and Rosalie, but that stressor currently belonged to her, not the Cullens. Expectation and weight heavy on her shoulders, she allowed Carlisle to guide her to the dining room.

The family was waiting when they entered, and standing by the door, Jasper was the first to begin.

"Good afternoon, Bella. How do you do?" he asked, in a slow voice with a touch more twang than she was used to hearing.

"Um, I'm fine, Jasper, thanks," Bella answered, a little bemused. Her surprise increased when Jasper took her hand and bent over it, formally kissing her knuckles. "Uh, how are you?"

"I am well, thank you." Still bent over her hand, Jasper grinned up at her and Bella's polite smile faded. What was going on? Carlisle took a step closer to Bella and frowned down at Jasper.

"Bella!" Alice exclaimed, entering behind them. Jasper straightened up at her entrance and Alice moved forward to put her arm about his waist. "You better not be thinking of barney-mugging with my baby. I know he's the berries, but sorry, doll, the bank's closed."

"Huh?" was really all Bella could get out. Carlisle began to grin.

"Relax, Bella. Everything is Jake." Alice winked.

While Bella stared at Alice as though she had actually grown a third eye, Maggie spoke from her chair at the table. "_Bella déchaidim mesctha. Do·moinetharann sní attá doilig forrae_?"

"Perhaps," Esme answered.

The light began to dawn, and a small blush creeped up Bella's face. She started to stutter out a witty comeback, but Esme spoke first.

"Though I suspect that the touch of rosiness in her countenance signifies her understanding."

"The lady's intelligence fair does her credit," Carlisle said, in a heavily rich British accent. Bella gave a little jump and stepped back from him in surprise. She watched him, mouth slightly agape. "There is a kind of preciousness in a mind well stimulated, for it holds the power of perception, which allows one to move forward in the world less blind."

Seeing Carlisle standing there, dressed in modern GQ clothing, spouting post-Shakespeare English made something low in Bella's abdomen flutter. Before she could figure out what it was, Alice was speaking again, and it was gone.

"Oh, dry up, bluenose. No one asked for philosophy."

" 'Bluenose?' Really, Alice."

"Lay down, Alice. It's dope." Keeping her face utterly straight, Bella did her best imitation of her old friend Micah back in Phoenix. "Bruh just wan' to say his piece, ah-ight?"

She tried very hard not to wince as the Cullens all stared at her.

"Bella, I rather hope that is the last time I hear you say something like that," Jasper said and Alice let out a guffaw.

"I don't know, I think I'd like to see that again. Maybe we could even dress her up, get her a du-rag."

Turning bright red, Bella gave up and flounced into an empty chair. "You guys suck."

The chuckles started slowly, but soon even Bella was laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of the conversation that had just passed.

Arm still wrapped around Jasper, Alice leaned into him, tilting her face upward. "Cash or check?"

"Cash," Jasper answered and bent his head to lay a tender kiss on her lips. They were the last to settle at the table, both to Bella's left while Carlisle had already sat to her right.

"Bella, I arranged to have your flivver of a truck towed to your house."

"Oh, Alice, thanks, but you didn't have to do that," Bella said, relieved to have something logical to respond to.

Alice's face was serious again. "It's not any trouble. Besides it's certainly the least we can do, considering what we have to talk about today."

"Why do I feel that this isn't good?"

Esme spoke softly to Bella. "It's unfortunate, but not unmanageable."

"Bella," Maggie began. Her freckled face showed kindness and her tone was cautious but matter-of-fact. "We'd like to explain to you a certain… well, legend isn't quite the right word… a certain aspect of vampire life that can happen, but is very rare."

"Okay."

"It's called a singer." Sitting beside Bella, Carlisle rested a supportive hand on her shoulder. He watched her face as Maggie explained. She took in the information with an accepting calm he'd come to expect from her. Bella was really a wonderfully openhearted and brave girl, and he was sorry for the shock that they were about deliver. He also knew that he would be there to help her through, whatever she needed.

"It seems that you are Edward's singer."

Bella paled on Maggie's final sentence. "He's going to want to kill me?"

"That won't happen," Esme said emphatically.

"Now that we are forewarned, we can take steps to make sure that your first meeting will not result in anyone being hurt," Maggie continued. "We got off the phone with Edward and Rosalie just when you got here. Rosalie has experience in helping Edward control his thirst."

"Edward would also never want to hurt you," Alice chimed in. Her eyes sparkled at Bella with confidence and affection. "You are an innocent – not to mention that we consider you a member of this family."

Despite the tense subject, having what had always been natural and assumed actually said aloud gave Bella a small rush of pleasure.

"Is that enough to stop him?" Bella asked. "I mean, you've described a singer as being irresistible, that a vampire's reason will disappear once he catches the scent. _My_ scent."

"Edward really does have remarkable self-control," Jasper said. "There will also be six vampires between him and you, ready to fight."

_Oh my God_, Bella thought.

"Bella," Carlisle drew her gaze back onto him. He conveyed with his eyes every assurance he wanted to give her. "We will all protect you. You don't have to worry about that." When Bella nodded at him, Carlisle turned his face to Maggie, keeping his hand on Bella's shoulder.

"Maggie, how did the conversation with Edward go?"

"Needless to say, they were surprised. Bella's presence in our lives has always been something of a mystery to them. Now they are fairly intrigued and looking forward to meeting her – once we get past first scent, of course."

"Is Edward handling the news well?"

"He's not handling it badly," Alice chose to answer. "I would say that he doesn't know how to react yet, other than to make sure that he can control himself around Bella." Alice hesitated before continuing. She had some other worries in regard to Edward and Bella that she wanted to keep to herself for now. "What Maggie said about intrigue is true. He is feeling a little drawn towards meeting her."

Bella stiffened, and for a moment her heartbeat decidedly increased. All the vampires looked at her, their expressions sympathetic. To cover, Bella said the first thing that came to mind. "I suppose Rosalie won't like that very much. Is she okay with this?"

"Rosalie is ready to help defend you, should it be needed. She's as curious about this as would be expected, but nothing more." Maggie answered, frowning at Bella. "Did you think that she might be jealous?"

"Um, maybe."

Esme smiled. "Rosalie's interest in Edward comes from his ability to read minds, and from their mutual desires for retribution. They're more partners, Bella. Though I might say that Rosalie views herself as upper management."

"Oh. So, they're not a couple?"

"No," Maggie said, her eyes piercing. "Why would you think that?"

"I don't know. I just assumed, I guess."

"Because they are a male and female away together from the family?"

"…Yeah."

"Interesting."

Bella squirmed. Sometimes Maggie had a way of making her feel like she was reading her subconscious. "I didn't mean anything by it; I just didn't think it through."

"Bella, honey, we know," Esme said.

Maggie tilted her head and smiled sweetly at Bella, causing the curls around her face to bounce. "I don't mean to make you uncomfortable, dear. I'm just a little no-nonsense after so much time of being able to see what's underneath certain statements."

"I understand. It just feels sometimes like there is no privacy around you, when you know things that I'm not even aware of thinking."

Maggie snorted. "You're really going to like Edward, then."

_That's the problem,_ Bella thought. _I don't. _"When is it likely that he and Rosalie are going to be here?"

"They're coming to spend at least a week with us for Thanksgiving," Alice answered. "They'll be here Sunday."

"Sunday? That's just four days away."

Releasing Bella's shoulder, Carlisle moved his hand to hers and gave it a brief reassuring squeeze, like he had done in the car. Only instead of seeking comfort, this time he sought to give it. "Alice, perhaps we'd better discuss what has been come up with for a plan. Now that we have all been made aware, I'm sure that your vision has changed?"

Alice nodded. "It makes the most sense for Bella to already be here when they arrive, and that's how I see it."

"Why would that make the most sense?" Esme asked.

"We protect Bella better with her in the house first," Jasper said, "as opposed to her driving up when Edward can smell her and get away from us."

Bella really wasn't certain what expression was on her face at that moment, but it must have transmitted something to cause Esme regret. "I'm sorry I asked, dear."

"May I ask a question?"

"Of course!"

"Why don't I just stay away while they are here? It's not that I'm unwilling to meet them, it's just that you are lining up to fight, and I don't want to be the cause of that."

"Bella! We don't want to hide you." Alice was dismayed.

"I'm not hiding. Seriously, I love each of you like family, I do. It's just that I've been spending so much time here… I'm missing out on my other friends, spending time with Charlie. I need to find a job. I'd like to do all that before I become the meal of a lifetime."

"You're not going to die, Bella. I promise you."

"Bella does have point," Carlisle said, feeling a little wave of guilt. "We have rather commandeered her life as well as her say on the topic. If Bella would rather spend Edward's visit away from us and with other people she cares about, then that is her choice." Carlisle gave her an understanding smile, though his eyes were sad. "We'll just have to look forward to seeing her again after Edward's gone."

"Bella," Jasper began. He was the most practical in approaching the situation. He saw a problem, and sought for the solution. While Jasper felt the waves of tension emanating from everyone, it was one of those times when he decided not to interfere. He may have the ability of emotional persuasion, but he also held the belief that everyone was entitled to his or her own feelings. "I completely agree with Carlisle that you should have a say in this. It's why we waited to talk with you here. Would you allow me to make some points?"

"Sure."

"Your scent is all over this house, and carries direct paths to you at the school and your home. Having you here offers better protection and control than Edward catching your living scent at random. We'd rather not have to play bodyguard for both you and Edward the whole time he's here. That's not the way we want to treat either of you. Besides, do you really want to hide and keep the threat constant instead of just facing it head on?"

"I want the right to choose not to be treated like the flag in a game of Stratego."

"Bella, that was unkind," Maggie admonished. "We're doing this because we care. If Alice saw this coming, we'd still be looking to protect you even without knowing you."

"It was mean; I'm sorry. I understand that you guys care, and Jasper makes a good argument. It's just…" Bella trailed off. How to explain? She wasn't ready to deal with her own thoughts about Edward and Rosalie, so how could she tell their family that they repulsed her? She'd already tried saying once that she loved them but wanted her other life, too. Carlisle had also tactfully made it clear that she wanted to speak for herself, for which she was thankful.

"Alice, is it best if we have Bella here on Sunday?" Esme interrupted the silence.

Bella was quick to jump on the new track. "I will still live if I stay away, right?"

Alice put a hand to her forehead. " 'Reply hazy, try again.'" She lowered her hand and looked around the table. "Decisions are still up in the air, guys, and I'm not a magic 8-ball. Personally, I agree with Jasper and want Bella here."

"I want Bella safe," Esme said. "Whatever we decide."

"I think it should be Bella's decision. Her veto," Carlisle said, and the patriarch had spoken.

Bella took a moment to dwell on it, all eyes on her. A million thoughts ran through her head: getting out of the situation, realizing that there was no "out" by running away, wanting to see _Pride and Prejudice_ with Angela, how much she loved Charlie, how important all of the Cullens were to her and her life now. Her gaze met Carlisle's, and she knew that he'd support her either way. "I'll be here on Sunday."

Jasper nodded. "Then we make a plan."

"I will be by Bella's side," Carlisle said. It was a statement that brooked no opposition, and Bella was grateful. She listened quietly as the Cullens discussed advantages. It really made her uncomfortable to see the Cullens strategizing to protect her from literally one of their own, but the decision was made and it was time to move forward. She kept her gaze down on her lap and fidgeted with her hands. Carlisle noticed.

"Bella." Carlisle gently lifted her chin to face her towards him. His golden eyes shone down on her, full of affection, comfort and determination. "This is one of the things that life can give us that we simply have to deal with. Don't put too much weight upon your shoulders."

Bella simply nodded.

"Well," Maggie said as she stood up, "it looks like we'll need to get some more sparring practice in, just in case."

"Let's go now," Alice suggested. "I could also use a quick hunt. Bella, I'm sure you won't mind if we take off?"

"Yeah, that's okay."

"I think I'll stay here. I'll enjoy the chance to get some more work done on restoring the chairs." With a gentle smile at everyone, and a quick caress of Maggie's arm, Esme headed upstairs to her latest flea market find.

"It helps her not to worry," Maggie told Bella confidently. "When she can work on a task she enjoys so much, it helps to soothe her."

The general exodus from the dining room was quick. Both Alice and Jasper promised Bella that they'd pick her up for school the next day before departing the house with Maggie and leaving Bella alone with Carlisle.

Bella felt a little bereft and yet at the same time, a little relieved. Relieved that the discussion was over, relieved that things were simply moving forward. Yet despite Carlisle's earlier words, she still felt pressure. She wasn't expected to do anything; no action was needed on her part. Other than to potentially watch others fight for her. Other than to live.

Carlisle was a little uncertain. It was beginning to get late into the afternoon, and he knew that Bella had only so much time before she would want to get home and prepare dinner for her father. He suspected that she might want to leave the house and have some solo time to work through all of the news that she had just been given, and thought to offer her an immediate ride home. Only he wanted her to stay. He wasn't ready yet to bring her home, returning her to the safety of her father's house yet leaving her out of sight. He wanted her in the safety of his house for as long as he could manage it. What Bella needed, though, was more important than his emotional need to protect her. He started to speak to ask her how she was feeling, when he saw the look in her eyes. In the two seconds that their gazes locked the mutual need to give and receive comfort was realized.

"Come with me into my study," Carlisle said, and together they moved upstairs.

Carlisle's study was always a very comfortable place for Bella. For one, she enjoyed the windows looking out into the trees. Since it was mid-November and the windows faced west, Bella could catch snatches of sunset just through the gaps in branches. Carlisle's large mahogany desk sat in front of the windows and Bella imagined that in moments when he wasn't invested in his reading, Carlisle would often turn in his leather chair and just look out. Carlisle's books were what propelled Bella to love the room. They lined every spare wall in bookcases that rose to shelves above her head; it was like a private library. Finally, the wall which held the door was adorned with paintings of varying styles and techniques, several of which Bella was sure would be coveted in museums.

Bella sat herself on the leather couch that matched the desk chair while Carlisle leaned against the front of his desk. "How are you doing, Bella?"

Bella quirked the corner of her mouth up a bit. "I guess I'm not really sure how to answer that. Your Edward… he kinda has me a little freaked out."

Carlisle's expression was one of commiseration. "You really haven't had a good first introduction to Edward, between the story I told you last night and the news you received today."

"Or Maggie's reminder that my thoughts won't be private anymore."

Carlisle inclined his head in acknowledgement. "That is something that we've all learned to put up with. Mostly it is not intrusive. Edward is too much of a gentleman to let on if he hears something we would rather he didn't."

Somehow the idea of Edward as a gentleman didn't fit with the mental picture Bella had drawn up for him. It was true; her first impressions really weren't that favorable.

"Carlisle, how…" Bella started, then stopped. How could she ask this without sounding like a bitch? "Considering the choices they've made, what Edward and Rosalie are doing… how are they still a part of the family?"

Carlisle took a long time before answering this question, his gaze on his crossed ankles. Finally he looked up at Bella.

"I'm afraid that the tale I told you last night, or perhaps the way I told it, has colored your perceptions. I am deeply affected by what happened with Edward and Rosalie, and my sadness and disapproval may have overshadowed how very much I love them."

Bella didn't know what to say to this, so she said nothing.

"I've referred to Edward as my child for lack of any better way of describing one whom I changed into vampire. While I tried to guide him, he has also guided me. I had been alone for more than two centuries, Bella. I can tell you that, but to truly understand it you can only experience it. Edward was my first companion and my best friend. He wasn't just someone I could hunt with and drop the guise around, but he was also someone I could laugh with. Just by being there he taught me how to not be lonely, and to share myself with others."

Carlisle was right. The concept of so many years of solitude was something that she could try to understand and appreciate, but could not really empathize with. Watching him talk from her stiff pose on the couch, Bella began to admonish herself for not knowing Carlisle better. At the same time, she highly appreciated that he was giving her this glimpse – sharing himself with her.

"It's because of Edward that I became able to have a family. Before him I'd only developed distant but respectful friendships."

"Then Esme and Maggie joined you."

"Yes." Carlisle smiled somewhat ruefully, remembering the circumstances that brought first Esme and then Maggie into his family. Despite the unexpected shifting of relationships that had occurred, he was very happy to have them both a part of his life.

"And Rosalie?"

"The truth about Rosalie is that she cares deeply, though she hides it," Carlisle answered. "She is a social creature and needs to be around others. Sometimes I suspect that part of the reason she recruited Edward is so that she wouldn't be alone. It's also worth remembering that Rosalie hurts, and is always hurting."

_So instead of dealing with her own pain she hurts others – including Edward?_ Bella kept the thought to herself. "What allowed Edward to be recruited?"

It wasn't an easy thing, trying to explain to Bella the various shades of gray that can color the world and those in it. Yet Bella was open-minded enough to easily accept the existence of his family, and ask questions before casting judgment. It was one of the things that made him so fond of her. Carlisle moved from the desk and sat beside her on the couch, angling his body to face her.

"Edward also feels strongly, and he is very internal. I always thought that the reason his vampire nature included the gift of reading minds is that he had such an empathy towards others as a human. It took great strength to handle the burdens of his gift, and the conflict within himself that they created. He strove to be good, and was succeeding. When Rosalie came along… I think there was so much of her that he identified with, trying to be good around her pain and her anger became a constant battle for him. When Rosalie presented a compromise, he took it."

"A compromise?" Bella echoed.

"I speak as I believe Edward saw it, not for myself."

Bella's eyes darted from Carlisle's face to the floor, to her hands and back to him again before she responded. "I can't say that I really understand what it is to be… bloodthirsty. I do think that I understand killing for food, or self-defense. Or even, maybe, a soldier fighting for his country. I just don't understand Edward and Rosalie. They are killing according to their own sense of justice. It's worse than that. They aren't just choosing to act because they have learned of something they wish to prevent; they are actually out there seeking who next to kill. That… disturbs me."

Surprising himself, Carlisle began to play devil's advocate. He occasionally played both sides to push Bella to think more during their philosophical talks, but he didn't expect to be doing it on a subject so personally painful for him. "To stop a crime before it happens? To help people before they even get hurt?"

"Ye- No." Bella frowned. She thought she understood how she felt, but she was already weakening. "To go looking for trouble, to interfere with law and order, and deal out capital punishment immediately."

"Would you rather Edward and Rosalie put them on trial first? Edward can prove innocence or guilt from a distance."

"Wasn't Schoolmaster Prodan innocent?"

"Was he?" Carlisle said this last softly. With that he was done playing tutor, and didn't want to challenge Bella's mind anymore. Time would allow her the shades of gray, and he most certainly didn't want to push her into stepping outside of his own white. Sitting side by side, their bodies had slowly moved closer together, yet both Carlisle and Bella were silent, frowning and looking away from each other. "I am certain that every person whom Edward and Rosalie have taken has been guilty. The teacher… his story was too close to Rosalie's recent pain, and too convenient a device to use to ensnare Edward. She acted rashly and with clouded judgment."

"Are you saying that you've discussed this with them?" Bella asked quietly.

"I've discussed a lot with them. They are still making their own decisions, but I do believe that I have at the very least instilled that much of a difference in whom can be considered guilty."

"Intent to act, not just a thought?"

"At least."

Silence again.

"I'm sorry. I still can't say that I agree with what they are doing." Bella nearly regretted bringing up the subject at all. The only thing accomplished was that she felt miserable and uncertain. "I can't really put myself in their shoes. I shouldn't be judging them, and I am trying not to, but I can't… support them."

"Do you think that I do?" The grief in Carlisle's voice was self-evident. Bella looked up into his gaze, oh-so-confused and wishing that she had just kept her mouth shut. "I do not believe in killing. That Edward and Rosalie, whom I took into my family, cared for and tried to guide, are out doing something so against what I believe and stand for - it pains me. It hurts every day. Yet, it is something that you just have to look beyond. The people you love won't always make the same choices you would have them make. That doesn't keep you from still loving each other. If you allow it to become more important than that, then the rift between you will grow and possibly become permanent. I care too much for Rosalie and Edward to not have them be a part of my life."

It reminded Bella of Billy and her father, and the disagreement they'd had before she arrived. When together, neither of them bring up the Cullens or Billy's choice of where to get care, and they are still able to enjoy each other's company. What Carlisle was saying was essentially the same thing as that, albeit a very different reason for disagreement.

Bella reached out her hand to Carlisle, wanting to sooth his pain and needing to touch. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Carlisle felt for her. She may be book smart and more mature than most her age, but in that moment Bella was just a confused good-hearted young woman who was trying hard to cope with the weight of all the information she'd received in the last twenty-four hours. Carlisle did what felt right; he took her outstretched hand and gathered her against his side. His arm wrapped around her, and she laid her head against his shoulder. They both stayed there, saying nothing, simply taking and giving comfort to each other.

"Carlisle?" Bella's voice was quiet and tentative.

"Yes?" he whispered gently.

"I'm scared."

Carlisle's arm tightened around her and he laid a kiss on her temple. Though it was a new level of intimacy for them, it felt natural to both.

"I promise to keep you safe."

* * *

**A/N: When Gene Wilder wrote the "Puttin' on the Ritz" scene for _Young Frankenstein, _he argued hard in favor of it with director Mel Brooks. Finally, Mel basically told him, "I just wanted to see if you cared enough about it to fight for it. You want it that much, it's in." This chapter contains my equivalent of that scene, only I played the parts of both Mel and Gene.**

**It's after midnight. This is my third draft of the chapter, which is about 2k more words than before. Heh-heh. Let me know what you think! It would please me very much just to know that you want to read more of "Moonlit."**

**Next chapter... some EPOV, and the vigilante meets his singer. What will Bella and Carlisle do?**


	13. Chapter 13

~*~ Chapter Thirteen ~*~

_Honk!_ A horn blared at the silver Volvo as it flew past on I-90 W. The highway was not as crowded as it would be the following weekend, which was acknowledged to be one of the busiest travel weekends of the year. Nearly everyone united with family and friends for celebration, a chance to relax and unwind, and for the most lucky, to enjoy a long weekend off from work. Football games and parades would be watched; cooking and feasting would be indulged in; several would go shopping for bargains the following day. Through it all family members would hug, support, tease and snipe at each other. In the end, it was about being together that mattered.

"Why do they love her?" Edward asked aloud. It was Saturday and they were en route from Washington, D.C. The Indiana roadside flew past them in a blur of brown, gray and green. Rosalie had been waiting for Edward to bring up the subject of Bella ever since they started their trip. It had only taken a handful of hours. "What is it about Bella Swan that makes her the one human in existence to become a member of a vampire family?"

"Carlisle would say it's because she's so observant and open-hearted," Rosalie answered. "You have to admit, it takes someone very singular to discover the truth, and not only be accepting, but to keep quiet about it for several months."

"She had help. The Quileutes spoke out of turn. It's also not as though she was the only one keeping quiet; Alice knew."

"Are we talking about Alice or about Bella?"

Edward only scowled.

"I'll readily admit, I'm curious about this girl. If it weren't for Alice, she'd be dead twice."

Edward knew that Rosalie was referring to not only his impending introduction to Bella, but to their non-lethal journey into Port Angeles. It certainly had come as a shock when Alice called and not only asked them to intervene on behalf of a school classmate, but to do specifically as she requested and make certain that the perpetrators survived. "_That_ was it. Why didn't I realize it before?"

"What?"

"That scent I caught when we put Alonzo in the trunk."

"Ah." Rosalie smiled smugly as realization dawned. "You smelled Bella on him. I'd thought it was the cut in his back."

"No."

"Interesting that just her scent caused a reaction in you. You haven't needed my intervention in years, yet just her being in proximity to him," these words were almost growled, "was enough."

"She really must be my singer."

"Did you doubt Alice?"

Edward shook his head. "Of course not. Though I wonder that she didn't see this that night. We were supposed to get there first."

"Maybe not. It didn't happen that way."

"What do you mean?"

"Alice saw Bella being hurt. She asked us to intervene, and saw Bella being hurt anyway. Fate seemed to keep us away from Bella that night."

Edward turned his attention away from the road to look over at Rosalie. "Since when are you a fatalist?"

"I'm not. I'm just thinking on this girl a lot lately. Alice began protecting her because she foresaw her importance to the family. Yet this Bella's come into potentially lethal danger how many times?"

"Alice never saw me kill Bella," Edward pointed out.

Rosalie chuckled. "True, but I have to admit, like Maggie, I'd be interested in seeing Carlisle take you on, too."

Edward grimaced. "Thanks. That makes me feel wonderful."

"Come on, it's wonderfully dramatic. The mild-mannered doctor suddenly shows his other side and fights with super strength to save the innocent."

"Are you going for Dr. Jekyll or Superman with this metaphor?"

Rosalie laughed. "Carlisle as Superman! Now that's a thought. He's a little too thin for the part though, and lacking the curly dark hair."

Edward simply exhaled through his nose. "Trust me, Rosalie. Going one-on-one with Carlisle is not something I've done since my newborn days, and not something I wish to repeat." Edward's jaw set. "Who is this girl that she would cause that to happen?"

"Edward," Rosalie said gently, all humor gone, "I think Carlisle would protect any human he saw one of us about to mindlessly attack."

"She's different."

"Yes, she is. Why don't you find out why? Call the girl; get to know her a bit before tomorrow. Perhaps you won't act so mindlessly."

"Call her? Now, that wouldn't be awkward." Edward rolled his eyes. "I still can't believe that they told her about this."

"She's a sister not a pet, Edward."

"Alright, fine. I have a new adopted sister that I'm supposed to want to drain dry as soon as I meet her." Edward scowled. "She's probably terrified of me."

"Hmm, I think not. Isabella Swan's got to have some grit about her."

"You seem to be unusually interested in this human."

"Why shouldn't I be? Don't be such a hypocrite, Edward. You're just as interested, if for different reasons. Might I remind you that it was _your_ 'interest' in the humans that brought the Volturi guards down on us?"

"Please don't," Edward muttered bitterly. He could barely stand Rosalie sometimes, but that didn't mean that he dismissed her words. Would calling Bella have any merit? "Rosalie, what exactly would I say?"

"You'll figure it out. Pull over and let me drive. Call Alice and see if she sees this helping."

"No. I'm going to know Bella's mind when I get there anyway. Talking to her on the phone isn't going to make her any more real to me."

"Please. What do you think she's going to be thinking about as she sits in the house waiting for you to arrive?"

"Do you expect me to find out why she's so special from a single phone call?"

Rosalie held her hands palms up. "I'm just making a suggestion that you reinforce your self-control by talking to Bella first. Whether or not you do it is up to you."

(~*~)

Bella arrived home in her newly running truck feeling triumphant. "Dad!" she called as she came through the door.

"What is it?" Charlie looked up from the couch, using the remote to lower the volume on the television as Bella popped into the room.

"The new video store practically hired me on the spot. I start next week."

"That's good, Bells."

"Yeah, especially since I missed out on that chance at Newton's Outfitters. Depending on how things go, I might be able to keep a part-time position there after the new year."

Charlie nodded. "That sounds good. You'll be able to keep up with gas and repair easily that way. And buy your own prom dress in the spring."

"Dad- ugh, let's not go there right now."

Charlie crossed his arms over his chest. "I've got five months to wear you down."

Running away from the discussion, Bella called behind her shoulder as she walked out of the living room. "Don't count on it!"

"Don't underestimate me," Charlie muttered, loud enough for Bella to hear. "Oh, hey Bella, you got a message. Someone name Edward left his number for you and asked that you call him back."

Bella stopped. After a second she turned and walked slowly back into the living room. "When did he call?"

"About forty minutes ago. I take it he's not someone responding to a job application?"

"Um, no, he's a friend of Alice's," Bella covered quickly. "I've never met him. Wonder why he's calling." Bella tried to sound nonchalant as she walked toward the kitchen phone and the note waiting there.

"A friend of Alice's?" Charlie followed her into the kitchen, lines in his forehead.

"Yeah, he knew her and Jasper at their last school. They've mentioned him from time to time."

"If you don't know this guy, maybe you shouldn't be calling him back."

Bella's fingers hesitated over the note as she looked over at her father. "Maybe you're right." Her hand dropped back down to her side.

Charlie looked at his daughter for a second before nodding and heading back to his couch. Bella went upstairs and plopped onto her bed.

Just a few days earlier Bella had been wigging out from learning of Edward the Killer, and now he was leaving messages with Charlie. Why was Edward calling her? What possible reason would he have to want to talk to her? Who gave him her phone number? Bella didn't come up with any answers. The more she thought about it, though, the more wrong it felt to ignore his message. She wouldn't have ignored it if it came from anyone else. Outside of common courtesy, Edward was important to people that she cared about and that enough was reason to call him back.

Sneaking back downstairs after Charlie was asleep, Bella flicked on the low light over the stove and went over to the phone. She picked up the notepaper and leaned against the wall. The message in her hand became gradually more visible in the dim yellow light as her eyes adjusted. It was simple, Edward's name and a phone number. Taking a deep breath, Bella dialed.

As soon as the ringing started Edward pulled over, cutting across traffic to get from the left lane to the shoulder. He answered his phone as he and Rosalie switched seats.

"Hello?"

A sweet youthful female voice answered him. "Is this Edward?"

"It is. Bella?"

"Yeah."

"Hi."

"Hi."

Silence.

"Did you want to talk to me about something?" Bella asked tentatively.

"I just wanted to… introduce myself before tomorrow."

"Oh."

This was the weirdest conversation ever. He was talking to a human teenaged girl on the phone, and he had no idea how to make it less awkward. Edward wished that he could just read her mind through the phone and know where to go next. Since he couldn't, he said the first thing he could come up with.

"So, it must be difficult to live in Forks after spending so much time in Phoenix."

_Did he seriously just say that?_ Bella asked herself. She felt like it was the first week at Forks High all over again. Only this time she was talking to someone who wanted to suck her dry. "I've had time to get used to it." Bella decided to throw the guy a bone. "It's probably easier because I lived here until I was eight."

"Why did you move back?"

"My mother got remarried."

"You didn't like the guy?"

"I do; he's great, and very good for my mother. He just travels a lot and I felt I was holding her back from being with him."

"So you moved fifteen hundred miles to make your mother happier," Edward said. Well, this was . . . surprising. At the same time, it wasn't. Carlisle said all along that she had a unique heart.

"It's important to make your family happy. Being with my dad is good, too. We've missed each other."

"I can understand that."

_I hope so_, Bella thought and kept herself from saying aloud. "Good."

Silence.

"Well, tell her I say hello, too," came a strong voice from near Edward.

"That was Rosalie," Edward explained needlessly.

"Hi," Bella responded lamely. This was the weirdest conversation ever. She was talking on the phone with two vampires whom she knew to be killers, and it was damned awkward.

"Bella," Edward began, a new determination in his voice. "Are you okay?"

"Am I okay?"

"With meeting us tomorrow."

"Oh. As much as I can be, I guess."

"I will do my best not to hurt you," Edward said with as much sincerity as he could convey.

For some reason, Bella believed him. In the last three days, her stress over the upcoming encounter had actually been receding. She trusted in the Cullen family's plan to be barriers between her and Edward, not really so much for the physicality of it, but for the emotional attachment. Also, aside from being comforting just in and of itself, being held by Carlisle that Wednesday afternoon had helped to increase Bella's confidence and sense of safety. She had been feeling less anxious, and her trip with Angela the day before had brought her more inner peace than she expected. Now with these nine words from Edward, the last vestiges of her fear for herself dissipated away.

"I'll hold him down if I have to, don't you worry. He knows I can kick his ass any day," Rosalie called sassily to the phone.

"I like to let her think so," Edward retorted and Bella giggled.

Her laugh was so unexpected, so sweet - like tiny toy Christmas bells tinkling. It made Edward smile. He just might like this girl, once he got through meeting her.

"Can I ask you two something?"

Edward tensed a bit. "Yes."

"What exactly does coming home for Thanksgiving with the Cullens entail?"

Edward laughed. "We won't be eating turkey, I can tell you that."

"Figured that one out for myself, funnily enough."

"It's just a good time to come home and spend with family. Don't you and your father have plans?"

_Huh._ Bella hadn't realized this before. "Actually, I don't know what we're doing yet."

There was a moment of silence before Edward spoke. "It must be lonely only having a one-parent home and no siblings."

He was trying to connect with her, Bella knew, but his words just irritated her. Maybe they struck a little too close to home. All three conversation participants were thinking the same thing in that moment – that Bella's attachment to the Cullen family was something she needed because she'd never had anything like it.

Bella spoke after a few seconds had passed. "It's a little late. I need to get some sleep."

"Of course, I'm sorry to have kept you up."

"I'll see you both tomorrow, I guess. Goodnight Edward, Rosalie."

She hung up.

(~*~)

Bella made scrambled eggs, bacon and toast for breakfast the following morning for herself and Charlie. Her mood was a little sour, and even though there was obviously a lot going on around her, she couldn't quite explain to herself why.

"Heading over to the Cullens' today, right?" Charlie asked as he forked eggs into his mouth.

"Yup."

"They doing anything special for Thanksgiving?"

Bella shrugged. "Just family stuff."

Charlie nodded, setting down his fork and gulping down some orange juice. "'Preciate the breakfast, Bella; you're a good cook."

"Thanks."

"Y'know, Bella, I usually go over to the Black house for Thanksgiving, but how would you feel about them coming over here?" The suggestion made Bella's eyebrows lift in surprise. She really had been missing Jacob lately and the idea of seeing him and Billy for the holiday really had its appeal. "You wouldn't be alone in the kitchen. Rachel will be home, and she's sure to make her pecan pie. We can all pitch in to help with the food."

"Dad, that sounds great! I'd love to have them over," Bella enthused. Charlie smiled and went back to eating as Bella continued. "The Blacks are like family and it would be nice to catch up with Rachel again."

"The Blacks are family," Charlie said around his mouthful of bacon.

Bella was thinking on the irony of Native American houseguests coming over for Thanksgiving dinner, and didn't quite hear her father. "What?"

Charlie swallowed. "The Blacks are family. Billy and I grew up together. His grandfather Ephraim was brother to my grandmother Miriam."

"_What?_"

"I guess I wouldn't expect you to remember your great-grandmother. She died not long after my parents."

Bella's brow furrowed. "Mimi?"

"Yup, that's what you called her."

"Whoa. So I'm . . . one-eighth Quileute?" Charlie nodded. "That's makes Jacob and Billy…"

"Billy is your second cousin one generation removed. Jacob is your third cousin. The Quileute is mostly thinned out, but the family connection is still there."

Bella blinked at her father. He gave her a sheepish grin. "I looked it up this summer when you two were hanging out so much."

"Huh. Wow." Bella let the information settle before letting out a big grin. Jacob never broke the treaty by telling her about the Cullens after all. He kept it in the tribe. "Cool."

(~*~)

Bella drove to the house about an hour or so earlier than Alice anticipated Edward and Rosalie's arrival. That gave her time to settle in and feel absurdly normal before everyone shifted to "assume positions." At one point, Bella had grimaced at the idea that she would be waiting for Edward in the mostly unused kitchen. Yet, it was logical based on the set-up of the house. The kitchen was located on the second floor, and furthest away from the driveway and front door. Edward would have the chance to catch her scent before he could get to her.

Jasper waited just inside the door near the baby grand. Bella had been surprised to see a piano on the raised level floor when she entered the house. Esme explained that it was Edward's; they kept it safely in storage but for his visits - a practice, apparently, she disagreed with. The idea of Edward-Vigilante-Killer playing the piano impressed Bella. She was willing to bet that he played beautifully.

Maggie had stationed herself at the foot of the stairs, across from Jasper. This put her at a distance from Edward's entrance, but in his direct pathway to Bella. Alice waited at the top of the stairs and down the hall from the kitchen. She was intending to focus on Edward's decisions, so that she could anticipate and voice instructions if need be.

Esme and Carlisle were with Bella in the kitchen. Esme hoped fervently that it would not come to her needing to fight Edward. She had chosen to be by Bella's side with Carlisle, in the role of protector. Bella knew that should Edward happen to get that far, Carlisle would step forward, and Esme would try to hie her away out the kitchen window.

_Fun times._

It was hard for Bella not to get anxious now that the moment was so close. While Esme had immediately given Bella an embrace when she arrived, it was Carlisle who held onto her in the tense moments. He stood with her, arms around her shoulders. She could feel the hard strength of him at her back, and the intimate yet non-intrusive way his forearms rested just above her breasts. Bella allowed herself to calm against him. She was with Carlisle, and to her that meant safety and comfort.

"They've just turned onto the drive," Alice called, and Bella's muscles involuntarily tensed. Carlisle tightened his arms about her, kissing her temple and moving her closer into him.

"I'm here," he whispered to her. "You'll be fine."

(~*~)

"Welcome to Forks," Rosalie said once they finally drove into the town line. "A town where delectable teenaged girls befriend vampires and all sorts of melodrama ensues."

"Nothing's happened yet."

"Oh, I beg to differ. I seem to recall a certain phone call that made us drop everything and drive to Port Angeles eight months ago."

Edward refused to rise to Rosalie's bait, and changed the topic. "There certainly seem to have been a lot of phone calls. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone in the flesh again."

"Particularly our young Swan?"

"No, not really."

"You're afraid you'll lose control." Rosalie said, very straightforward.

"I _won't_ lose control."

"Edward, you forget that I know you better than anyone, even Carlisle. Admit that you're afraid."

The one word came out between grinding teeth like a growl. "Fine." It was all Edward was going to give her.

"Good." Rosalie smiled shortly. Having got what she needed -and what she thought that he needed- she told him the truth. "You won't lose control."

Edward slowed down, seeing a cruiser hiding on the side of the road up ahead. It threw him off that he didn't hear the cop's thoughts first. He must be distracted; Rosalie was distracting him. Focusing in on the man behind the wheel as he drove by under the legal speed limit, Edward found the man's thoughts to be mostly blank, getting only a slight sense of hunger and the want for more scrambled eggs. The man must not have a very active mind, disappointing in a cop.

Soon Edward was turning onto the back road that led to Carlisle's house. He started picking up on the minds of those inside. Not surprisingly, he found Alice to be searching him through her gift. He felt tempted to give a little wave.

Everyone was in preparation, a tense pre-battle mode. Jasper was hoping that using gift might counteract the bloodlust, but he was doubtful. The strongest thoughts of protection were emanating from Carlisle. It made his heart sink a little. Had they no faith in him at all? Yet, touching on Esme, he could feel her love for him and the conflict and worry she felt. He took some reassurance in that, before all happiness quickly fled him.

"I can't find her thoughts."

Rosalie didn't need him to clarify. "Edward, if you can find a toddler in a crowded city mall panicking because he can't find his Mommy, you can find the only human in a house of six."

"She's not there to be read. She's in the house, I can hear everyone thinking about her, but her thoughts…" Edward concentrated hard, putting more mental effort into his gift than he was used to using.

"You're blocked from her thoughts?"

Edward didn't answer.

"Well, this girl gets more and more interesting. Is it her scent that's clouding you? I don't smell her yet, do you?"

"No." Pulling the Volvo alongside an old red truck that could only possibly belong to Bella, Edward parked. Rosalie was out the door before the engine had stopped.

Slowly stepping out of the car, Edward took a deep inhale of the fresh air before going inside – and choked.

His eyes flew to the truck, and he knew that he'd caught her scent from it. Not sure if it was fallacy or wisdom, Edward moved in on the truck, sniffing it, and opening the door.

"Mmm, that is pleasant," Rosalie said, then bit her tongue.

Precious nectar, the scent was so deliciously sweet. It made his throat burn, and mouth go dry in a way that the pooling venom could not satiate. Edward swallowed as his torso crouched catlike over the seat of the truck's cab. Why was sweet so appealing? His body hardly needed sugar or the calories it provided for a more living creature. Yet, he practically wanted to lick the musty old fabric. Unwilling to stop himself, Edward took in another deep breath.

_Mine._

Edward stepped back and shut the truck door, looking up over to the house. He could see Rosalie watching him intently. Clenching his fists, Edward took short shallow breaths. Bella's scent wove into him minutely each time, and it became more and more familiar. How could anything smell so good? It was almost floral; it was so sweet.

The thought of eating flowers was so absurd that it helped Edward to relax. Nodding in Rosalie's direction, they both moved to the house. There was no point in knocking; everyone knew that they were there. Still, Edward paused on the porch, clenching his fists tightly before releasing one to open the door.

He opened it slowly, and Rosalie stepped in ahead before he took his few cautious steps.

She was here. She was in the house; there was no doubt of it. His throat burned with the desire to find her. The scent carried a path up the stairs, and Edward saw Maggie waiting there, eyes on him and nowhere else. It was interesting that he wasn't distressed, he felt strangely emotionless at that moment. Everything was the burn of his throat, a trail of fire that began in his gut and pushed upward until the only thing his body wanted was to sink his teeth into soft flesh and extract what he needed.

He hadn't felt anything like this since he'd woken in Chicago on a bed in Carlisle's home. Carlisle had fought him down, kept him from immediately leaving in search for human blood. The memory made Edward's mind fly to Carlisle, who was mutually focused on listening to him at the door, and holding on to the girl in his arms.

It reminded Edward of what mattered. Not the red ambrosia upstairs, but the heart of the man and the family that loved a lonely girl who self-sacrificed for the happiness of her mother. Edward's eyes moved away from Maggie and onto Jasper at his side. He knew that Jasper was trying to calm him, but he had been right. His gift didn't change the craving. As he knew, one could still emotionlessly kill. It was the mind that ruled over matter.

Edward knew that he shouldn't rush those stairs, shouldn't dismember Jasper in a preemptive move towards his destination. He knew that the girl upstairs, whose heart beat wetly and enticingly, who smelled of sweetness and flowers, was an innocent human being. She deserved to live. She didn't deserve to have her blood pool into his mouth, a sacrifice to his baser nature. He had a higher nature.

Beyond Jasper, Edward saw the piano, and his salvation. Music resonated with him in a way that nothing else did. It turned him into both everything and nothing, connected to the world around him and yet just a miniscule part of it. The piano was where he always found a release for himself and before the thought was complete he was seated. Focusing entirely on the music, Edward selected something difficult: hard, fast and precise.

A multitude of piano chords filled the house from Edward's fingers. It was beautiful and magnificent, and put Bella in a bit of awe to know that it was coming from downstairs. Whatever Bella had expected might happen, it wasn't this. It was Beethoven, wasn't it? Maybe Rachmaninoff? No, only Beethoven, with his infamous temper, could generate something as frantically poignant as this. It was both controlled and uncontrolled, like a frenzy that was desperately trying to calm, only to briefly succeed before it exploded again. Bella stood in Carlisle's arms, letting the passion play over her as the melody repeated itself in increasing spasmodic intensity. Soon Alice stepped into the kitchen, smiling.

"It's fine now."

Bella exhaled, a quiet _whoosh_ of breath. Esme ran a hand down Bella's arm, a happy smile on her face. Bella didn't know if she'd ever seen Esme so radiant. Relaxing, she leaned backward against Carlisle, who placed a kiss onto the top of her head, and closed her eyes. The music downstairs climaxed and changed. It was something a little slower, but still full of fervor. Carlisle's arms were gentle, sliding down to encompass her torso and pulling her closer still. It was a solid and comforting embrace as they stood together and listened to the music.

Behind them, Esme made eye contact with Alice and briefly pointed at the pair with her eyes. Alice kept the smile on her face, her expression not giving anything way.

Bella wasn't sure how long it lasted. Half an hour? Forty-five minutes? It was just peaceful, standing in the kitchen with Carlisle's arms wrapped around her while an impromptu concert played downstairs. Between composers Bella could recognize, like Bach, Chopin and Debussy and some she couldn't, Edward's choices became gradually slower until the last note, a delicate C, sweetly reverberated.

Bella opened her eyes and lifted her head. There were no longer only four in the kitchen. Paired on either side of the doorway Jasper, Alice, Maggie and Esme formed a semi-circle around the two vampires standing at the entrance.

They were the most beautiful vampires Bella had seen. Rosalie was statuesque, a tall formidable presence with womanly curves that just made Bella feel flat all over. Her long blonde hair fell in waves down to the center of her back. Her face was perfection, and Bella thought that it might hurt her eyes to stare too long at it. Golden eyes flashed with arrogance and curiosity while a small smirk played on the perfect rose-pink lips.

Edward was taller, about Carlisle's height, with unkempt reddish-brown hair. He was more boyish in appearance than Bella had expected. His face held the perfection of a young model, straight nose and a jaw made to be nibbled on – _did she really just think that?_ Edward's eyes were a dark gold, and Bella wagered that the color had to do with how strongly he was feeling hunger in that moment.

"Hello," he said to her softly.

"Hello," she answered back.

_She is beautiful_, Edward thought. It wasn't a conventional sort of beauty. Some might consider her plain or awkward. Her lips were a little large against her tiny chin and jaw, but Edward saw a balance that was complementary to the face as a whole. It was her eyes that caught him most. Typically, Edward found brown eyes in humans to be flat and uninteresting, yet Bella's held a compelling sort of depth. _Trust Bella Swan to turn out to be lovely._

Carlisle hesitated, reluctant to let Bella go, but then he released her to step forward and clasp arms with Edward. "It's good to see you," he said. The ice broken, Esme was quick to move in and enclose Edward in a hug while Rosalie stepped around them to approach Bella. Her eyes appeared to still be continuing their examination and Bella began to feel small and insignificant before her.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Bella. Crisis averted. You've certainly added an interesting element to our lives."

Bella didn't know how to take that comment, so she ignored it. "Nice to meet you, too."

"Tell me, what exactly do you do with yourself when you're not in school or here visiting?"

"Um, I read. I cook for my father. I've started working at a video store in town."

"Really?" Esme asked, an arm still around Edward. "I didn't know that." Edward continued to watch her in silence. His eyes hadn't lightened, but thankfully they hadn't darkened either. All the same, his gaze made Bella feel unsettled.

"I got hired yesterday."

"When do you start?" Carlisle asked, moving back to her side and putting a hand on her back.

"Tomorrow after school."

"So you're going to be working to earn a living. Do you have any beaus?" Rosalie asked.

"Um, no," Bella answered, quite startled.

"Interesting how times have changed since I was human. Also how very much they've remained the same." With that Rosalie turned away, leaving Bella to stare after her in confusion. Edward's eyes also followed Rosalie, a frown on his face, before focusing again on Bella.

Multiple conversations were happening all around her as the family reunited; yet Bella remained silent. Watching Edward watching her, Bella took a slight step closer to Carlisle. Everything seemed to be copasetic, but Edward was still an alien element to her. The concentration on Edward's face suddenly reminded Bella of the fact that he could hear her thoughts. For a moment panic struck, until she realized that being wary of Edward was hardly something she was ashamed about him reading. Straightening her spine, she stared defiantly right back at him.

Ceasing his conversation with Carlisle, Edward finally spoke. "Are you doing alright?"

"Fine. You?"

Edward merely nodded. "What are you…" Edward trailed off, not finishing whatever question he had been about to ask. Both Bella and Carlisle were watching him with bemused expressions.

"You still can't, can you?" Rosalie asked from the other side of the room where she stood with Maggie and Alice.

"No," Edward answered, not turning around, eyes still on Bella, brow furrowing.

Rosalie beamed. "Bella, you are too precious."

"I don't understand." Bella looked from Rosalie up to Carlisle. He was watching Edward.

"You can't read her thoughts?" Carlisle asked.

Bella's eyes grew wide and flew back to Edward's face, which was showing irritation now. "Really?"

Instead of answering, Edward turned around and glared at his sister. "Alice, did you see this?"

"No, actually, I didn't." If amusement could light up a face, then Alice was shining enough to have lit the whole house. She wasn't alone. "Oh, Bella, I am so proud of you."

"I second that," came from Maggie.

Esme, however, was looking at Edward concerned. "Edward, this is a good thing, isn't it?"

Edward didn't answer, but did loosen enough to give Esme a small smile before facing Bella again.

Bella was both relieved and uncomfortable. She didn't really like being the focus of attention this way, particularly when it had shifted away from her ever so briefly. Yet, she was relieved to know that her thoughts were still exclusively her own. Wait, that didn't mean that there was something wrong with her brain, did it?

The hand that Carlisle had against the small of her back moved upward to between her shoulder blades and down again in a soothing motion. Bella looked up to see him smiling at her, and she felt that he was there for her. It quieted any lingering self-doubt in her brain, and eased her discomfort. How did he always know? Bella smiled back at him.

"Why don't we move into the living room so that you can sit down?" Carlisle said.

A more relaxed migration happened after Carlisle's suggestion, with family members wandering around the house to continue their conversations. In the living room, Edward sat down casually beside Bella on a couch and with a lame query about her favorite color, opened a round of Twenty (or a hundred and twenty) Questions. It actually became surprisingly easy to talk to him, even though his unmoving eyes rather unsettled her. It was hard to remember how freaked out by him she had been just a few days ago. It was almost like talking to Edward made all her higher thoughts go blank. Which, as her gaze fell on him, struck her as being the exact opposite of Carlisle.

Bella wondered if Carlisle was still in the room because of his promise to protect her, or if it was because he had missed Edward. She thought that it might be a little of both. Truthfully, Bella really didn't feel threatened by Edward anymore, and she wondered about how Carlisle felt to have him home again. When they'd been alone in his study the other night, Carlisle had told her that it was because of Edward that he had learned to share himself with others. Bella couldn't imagine a life with Carlisle keeping to himself.

"Bella," Edward prompted gently, returning her attention to him. "Did you hear me?"

"Oh, sorry. My mind did wander." Focusing on him, a hopeful opportunity for respect for Edward birthed. "What was it like, Edward, when it was just you and Carlisle?"

Edward had been very focused on Bella, watching the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed, the shape of her mouth while she formed words, the deliciously pink tone of her skin – and of course those deep brown eyes. Her question changing the direction of their conversation took him by surprise, and he forgot about determining what her favorite gemstone might be.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I guess when you're apart from society, with only one other person, that you must learn from each other a bit."

Edward shifted his gaze over to Carlisle. "I learned everything from Carlisle."

"Like what?" Bella pushed.

Edward paused before giving her an indulgent smile. "It's hard to explain. I don't think you'd understand."

Nothing quite like being disrespected to have your own respect for that person fizzle and disappear. "Try me," Bella said in a monotone.

Edward shook his head. "I'm sorry, Bella, but you're human. I can't explain to you what it's like to not be one."

Carlisle spoke. "Don't underestimate Bella, Edward."

"Why? Is it the plan to turn her into one of us since she's a part of the family?"

Bella blanched. The idea hadn't really occurred to her, had never been suggested to her, and at some point later she would have to mull it over. Right now, though, she was too pissed to think on it. "Being part of this family is more than what you are or what you do. You should know that."

Edward stood slowly. "What exactly is that supposed to mean?"

"Proportionally, how many people do you think you've killed against the rest of those who actually live in this house?"

"Are we including Maggie's count?" Edward spoke harshly, but then he returned to his placid smile and condescension. "I'm sorry, Bella. It's only fair of you to ask questions of me in return, and I'll be happy to answer them, but you shouldn't expect to be taught what cannot be explained without experiencing it firsthand."

"I didn't ask for a lesson in Vampire 101." Anger was making her cheeks flush.

"Edward, you aren't being fair to Bella." Carlisle began to intervene, but then stopped at the sight of him.

Edward's eyes had darkened to black, and his fingers had curled into his palms again. He stood frozen like that for a moment before he tilted his head towards them both. "Perhaps not. Bella, shall we continue this conversation later?"

Bella nodded at him wordlessly, eyes slightly widened. Edward turned on his heel and strode from the room.

Bella stood up from the couch, watching after him in alarm and regret. She hadn't meant for things to get out of hand that way. It certainly wasn't her place to antagonize the one person who'd been part of Carlisle's family longer than anyone.

"I'm sorry," she said, turning to face Carlisle, though her eyes somehow remained on the floor at his feet

Carlisle crossed over to her and put both hands on her shoulders, and she lifted her head to him. There was something so reassuring in having him so close, seeing his burnt honey eyes focused on her. He had such a beautiful face. "There is no blame, Bella, least of all on you. Wait and see how things go next time between you and Edward."

Bella's eyes blinked closed as she nodded in assent.

(~*~)

Edward's blood craving was fully sated. He had briefly stopped to see the rest of the family to explain that he was disappearing for a hunt, and to request solitude. He knew that Carlisle would hear him in the living room even as he comforted Bella. There'd been some slight hesitation on Jasper's part to let him go hunting alone, but Alice had made it clear that she believed it would be fine.

Edward had at first headed far out from Forks in order to seek more adventurous and tasty game – a benefit of Washington – but he had quickly decided in favor of deer, the more ready meat. While he had hunted on Wednesday and again on Saturday, he'd found the desire that Bella aroused in him too strong against the double meal. It would have to be three meals a week for the entire duration of his stay in Forks. Which might be longer than he and Rosalie had initially planned.

It had been several hours since he'd left the house, and night had fallen. The sky was overcast, which made the night particularly dark. It was certainly a change from the D.C. suburb, and its myriad of artificial lighting. Not that it mattered to Edward, for he could see perfectly fine.

She looked so peaceful when she slept. One arm was curved about her head as she lay on her back. If he didn't know that she was sound asleep, he might have thought that she was posing. Not Bella, though. She wasn't the kind of girl to flirt, too pure and honest.

A part of him still couldn't believe that he was in here spying on her. Though no longer in the least bit hungry, instead of heading back to the outskirts of town and Carlisle's house, he'd found himself in town and outside of the Swan residence. He'd felt uncertain when he'd realized where he was, staring at a bedroom window knowing that Bella lay vulnerable just beyond it. Yet, had he really been unaware of where his feet were taking him? Had he not known when he'd entered the town's boundaries what scent it was in the air that led him? He had been as much aware then as he'd been when he quietly eased open the bedroom window.

He should leave, yet he couldn't make himself go. He had to admit to himself that even now her scent was intoxicating, making him want to move in closer and just breathe her in. He didn't though. Edward kept to the edge of her room by the window, watching her in the dark.

"Mmgarl beb," Bella mumbled, making Edward smile. She talked in her sleep. He definitely didn't want to go now. Perhaps in her sleep he could learn what he couldn't from her mind.

She was so fragile. He took a step closer.

Bella shifted, moving slightly more onto her side, causing her thighs to rub together under the sheet. Edward didn't breathe. His eyes were drawn to the spaghetti straps of her sleep tank. Her skin looked so smooth and soft. The line of her, from her jaw down her neck to the curve of her shoulder and just under the strap was perfection. He wanted to reach out and touch her, feel that soft shoulder curve into the palm of his hand. She would be warm.

_Edward._

The sound of Carlisle's mind calling to him made Edward straighten. He hadn't realized that he'd bent so close to Bella. Turning, Edward looked out the window and saw Carlisle emerging from the woods across the street. Carlisle was angry; there was a tightness in his jaw Edward could only rarely recall having seen.

_What do you think you are doing?_

"I don't really know," Edward answered in a voice too low to wake Bella, but loud enough for Carlisle to hear.

_Leave Bella's room._

Edward looked over at the sleeping girl. She was moving about a little more restlessly now. He couldn't help but notice her thighs rubbing against each other again. Was she dreaming of something that made her do that? What he wouldn't give to know what she was seeing in her sleep.

_Edward!_

"I don't know why I'm here, Carlisle, I don't. She's entrancing."

_What if Chief Swan were to find you in there? Can you imagine the ramifications? Better that Bella should wake up! Though I'd really rather not have her suffer through finding you in her bedroom while she sleeps._

Edward could hear the spoken thoughts in Carlisle's mind, but he could also read what passed through his head not projected. Carlisle wanted nothing more in that moment than to protect Bella and get him out of there. He was enraged that his trust could be so betrayed and her trust so violated.

He was right. Edward was breaking all sorts of proper rules by being in her bedroom.

"I'm coming," he said, giving Bella one last long look before moving out the window.

"Mmm."

Edward paused, feeling a surge of lust answer Bella's sleepy moan. Almost nothing could have made him move faster to the ground. He was quickly by Carlisle's side. They stood staring at each other. Carlisle's expression made Edward want to duck his head, but instead he held his chin up.

"Never enter her room again, Edward. I won't allow it."

"Perhaps she'll invite me."

"If she ever does, that will be her choice, and certainly would be by the light of day when she is conscious."

"She talks in her sleep."

"You have no business knowing that," Carlisle snapped. Edward could hardly believe Carlisle's anger. He could read that Carlisle's thoughts kept circling the same things: _protect Bella, do not let her be violated, protect Bella, she deserves better than this_.

Having met Bella, he could understand why the family cared about her so much. He already cared very much himself and he'd barely known her a day. She was one of them, though she was human, of as equal status in the family as him. Edward wondered if her human frailty wasn't part of the reason that Carlisle was so angry. It was like Rosalie had said; Carlisle would protect any human from one of his own kind. He and Bella might be equal, but Carlisle would choose her above him if it came to it. Edward didn't want Carlisle to feel as though he had to protect Bella from him. Yet, it was almost too late for that, damage was already done.

"I won't hurt her," he promised Carlisle with every bit of sincerity he could muster. "I'm sorry that I acted so irrationally tonight."

Edward could hear Carlisle's mind begin to calm, to remember what Edward meant to him. The patriarch was no longer drowned out by the protector. "Let's go back to the house," Carlisle said.

In her bedroom, Bella continued to shift in her sleep. Her face turned into the arm that curved around her head, her cheekbone grazing the sensitive skin under her bicep.

Only slightly less unconscious, she sighed quietly. "Carlisle."

Two heads turned: one blond, one bronze. Only a couple of hundred feet from the house they both looked back briefly as they continued to run.

The sound of her own voice woke Bella from her sleep. She knew that she had spoken, but had no idea what she'd said, and whatever dream she'd been having was already dissipated. Gradually opening her eyes, Bella blinked into the darkness. The blankets seemed to cling softly to her, a subtle pleasant weight. She moved more completely onto her back, feeling the cotton slide across her skin.

She let out a breath slowly. Bella had moments before when she felt horny, but this was different. This was a deeper feeling, more under her skin and in her veins than a slight physical inclination. She felt…aroused. Bella lay on her back, breathing slowly, focusing on the newly awakened senses. Moving a hand cautiously, Bella touched the bare skin under her throat and ever so lightly ran her fingertips down until the top of her tank stopped them. Moving her fingers over the to left she could just barely feel the pulse. Her heart beat strong and steady.

Closing her eyes, Bella let out a long sigh before curling up on her side and tucking her hands under the pillow beneath her head.

* * *

**A/N: This is going to be a fairly long author's note this time around.**

**First, in an acknowledgment of the external world, I would like to thank everyone who took the time during the Premiere weekend of _Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows pt 1_ to read this update. :) Many thanks go out to ItHappened, Nachos4Children, DecemberEclipse, and finally my husband, for looking things over when writing this chapter came to a grinding halt. I revamped it and only I have seen this final version. For those that haven't noticed yet, the original opening scene -EPOV during the phone call with Maggie- is available under the "Moonlit Deleted Scenes" story I put up. You'll find it on my profile.**

**Pre-emptive strike: *There will be absolutely no phasing or shifting whatsoever for either Bella or Charlie in this fic.* There are only two places in which I deliberately step away from canon, and making a thin Quileute blood connection is one of them. If I'm not going to make them phase, why did I do this? It just became a truth in my mind very early on in the story, and there are places where I can utilize it. I hope that you saw in this chapter how it can relate to Bella's need for family.**

**The other place where I'll step away from canon regards Emmett. Obviously, he's not here. He will, however, be making an appearance in the story in the far distant future. Like, say, chapter 46. :-P By the way, did anyone catch the very subtle reference to him in this chapter?**

**Another note, yes, I'm aware that Edward is a vampire, and not just any vampire, a Twilight vampire. All the same, when you're not hands-free, driving while talking on your cell phone is a serious misjudgment in safety. So is smoking at the gas pump and unprotected sex with strangers. People get away with it all the time, but that doesn't mean that it's not foolhardy and can have serious repercussions.**

**Also, to the readers whom I have not already taken in my confidence - I am currently pregnant, and due to give birth in March. It's my goal to put out as much of the story as I can before then without sacrificing quality. After my second child is born updates will slow down, and I am sorry for that, but as any new parent knows, there's no time for anything when a new baby enters the house. Please don't take this as a reason to stop reading.**

**There are lots of compositions and movements that come into play for Edward's scene in this chapter. For anyone who is interested, the piece he starts with is Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata op 27 #2 Mov 3. It's very different from the famous movement 1 of Moonlight Sonata, and has always been my favorite piece of spastic classical music. A link is on my profile.**

**Now, this has been something of a loaded chapter. If my note hasn't distracted you too much, I'd love to hear what you thought! **

**Next chapter... Carlisle's perspective, more of Edward's obssession with Bella, Rosalie begins her own agenda, and Bella... well that should tantalize you enough, I think.**


	14. Chapter 14

Arousal**-** 1. Awakened from or as if from sleep. 2. Stirred up, excited. 3. Stimulated sexual desire.

~*~ Chapter Fourteen ~*~

It was unusual for Carlisle to be running without needing to hunt, even more so that he was heading into town. The ground beneath Carlisle's feet seemed to give way for him as he ran. His speed was nothing more than usual but there was an extra force propelling him along. When Alice had informed him of Edward's location, Carlisle had taken off without hesitation. A part of Carlisle hadn't wanted to believe that Edward was doing such a thing, even though he never doubted Alice's word. The thought of Edward watching from the shadows while Bella was asleep in her bed made Carlisle angrier than he had felt in a long time, though he controlled it.

Carlisle didn't bother to mask his thoughts as he and Edward ran home, concealed by darkness and trees. Now that he knew Bella was safe, he could focus more on the behavior that had prompted his own moonlit run to the Swan house. Edward was both guest and family. That he would come home and treat Bella in such a way was less than Carlisle would have ever expected of him. Earlier in the evening Edward had disrespected her when she was simply trying to get to know him; now he had invaded her home to spy on her while she slept. It was aberrant behavior. Bella was not some sort of exhibit for Edward to indulge in.

Bella was special. There could be no doubt that she held a unique place in the hearts of his family. Carlisle had hoped that Edward and Rosalie would come to care for her as easily as the rest of the family had, but even before they met obstacles had fallen in the way. Honesty with Bella had prompted him to tell her of Edward and Rosalie's activities, and that had caused some distress and doubt in her, he knew. Then the revelation of Bella being Edward's singer had put one more difficulty in the path of their immediately getting along.

Though he had absolutely no intentions of hiding from Bella what had happened tonight, Carlisle was grateful that she had not woken up. Yet, somehow, she had still managed to sense his own presence, otherwise she would not have sleepily murmured his name. Carlisle found it interesting that she had sensed him outside of the house, and not Edward in her room. Perhaps it was because there existed more familiarity with him than with the vampire she had just met today.

The tree limbs whizzed by, never quite making contact with vampire skin. Edward was thankfully remaining silent as he kept pace with him. Carlisle just wasn't sure what to make of his oldest companion. Something had been broken inside of Rosalie for decades; after all these years with her was Edward also now damaged inside? The idea was disturbing, and Carlisle was not yet ready to settle on that conclusion.

The rest of the family was in the living room, waiting for their arrival. Normally they might have been spread about the house, engaged in different activities. If the couples weren't coupling, they'd be together reading, restoring or busily accessing information on the Internet. The fact that they were all assembled and waiting told Carlisle that they were taking this as seriously as he was.

As soon as he and Edward crossed the threshold Rosalie wordlessly strode up to Edward. The flashes of movement were quick, but Edward caught her hand before it could strike his face. All but Alice watched in surprise as the two of them had a silent staring contest before Edward lowered Rosalie's arm. "I'm not like them, Rosalie."

"You've made her into a victim again." The muscle in Rosalie's jaw flexed as emotions played across her face.

"That's absurd."

"'Victim' is a strong word," Carlisle said. "Yet there is no ignoring the fact that you violated Bella's trust tonight."

Carlisle watched as Edward looked around the living room, at Alice and Jasper standing by the wall, at Maggie and Esme behind the couch. Carlisle himself stood to Edward's right while Rosalie was still within striking distance on his left. Not one of them was smiling.

"I agree that I broke certain rules of propriety," Edward said, addressing all in the room.

"Is that what you call it?" Maggie's taunt rang clearly before Esme's concern overlapped it.

"Edward, why did you sneak into her room?" Esme asked.

"I was drawn to her. I was there before I knew it."

Carlisle noticed Maggie's frown and caught Edward's eyes look down to the floor before rising to meet Esme's again. There were a few seconds of awkward silence.

"Edward, are you . . ." Esme looked at Carlisle uncertainly before turning back to Edward. "Are you attracted to Bella?"

_No_, was Carlisle's immediate thought. Though the idea had not occurred to him prior to Esme suggesting it, Carlisle rejected it on its high improbability. Edward had barely met Bella.

Edward hesitated before answering. "I don't think that I can answer that, Esme. She certainly is attractive."

"I'll agree; Bella is very attractive for many reasons," Carlisle said, taking reign of the conversation. "Yet none of them have anything to do with your impression of her, Edward. All she represents to you right now is an appealing scent that belongs to a member of our family whose thoughts happen to be hidden from you. That's a very strong combination, and I can understand why you would be… curious about her. Yet you need overcome this sense of being drawn to her. You're better than that."

"Carlisle, that's hardly fair."

"Let me explain. Edward, using our minds and hearts is crucial to who we are. This family is about rising above our creature instincts. You know this."

"Of course I do."

"You're enthrallment with Bella comes entirely from your vampiric nature. You've known her for less than a day, and it is because you know Bella so little that you showed no respect for her privacy this evening."

"I certainly haven't been around her as long as you have, but I wouldn't say that Bella is a stranger to me."

"Describe her to me, then."

"She's beautiful and young. Her favorite color is brown, and she likes to read Jane Austen."

Carlisle simply arched an eyebrow at him. Edward's words clearly conveyed nothing but the surface of the young woman Carlisle was privileged to know.

"She sacrificed some of her own happiness for her mother," Edward spat out.

"Why did she do that?" Carlisle carefully kept his mind focused.

Edward faltered. "I don't know."

"She puts the people she loves above herself. She considers her own needs less important if she can contribute to the happiness of someone else. Sometimes that can mean that she feels that she is less important, but Bella is building a foundation of self-confidence that will counteract that as she grows into it.

"Bella also has a keen and observing mind that looks beyond what the average person might determine. She's interested in both the history and potential of things, and has a touch of appreciation for the abstract. She reads Jane Austen because she enjoys the wit and structure, and it also appeals to her more whimsical side."

"Alright, fine. I concede that you know Bella better than I do, Carlisle. I just want to know her more."

"I wish you would know Bella for who she is. Yet stonewalling her when she tried to ask you about yourself and sneaking into her bedroom while she sleeps are not the ways that is going to happen. What was going through your mind while you were in her room tonight, Edward? It obviously wasn't desire for conversation. Were you thinking of her blood?"

"No. Not entirely."

"Were you thinking of her body?" Maggie asked.

"No, not entirely."

Carlisle's expression darkened, though he was unaware of it. "Edward, I'm happy you're home and I am glad to have you here. Yet, I am afraid I have to say that I don't think you can be trusted to be alone with her."

"That's ridiculous!"

"Edward, I didn't seek to prove that I am more intimate with Bella than you are; I sought to demonstrate that her appeal to you has nothing to do with who she is as a person. Your vampire impulses are dominating when it comes to her and until you can show that you have it under control, someone else in the family will have to be around whenever you and Bella are together."

Edward turned to his sister. "Alice, tell Carlisle this isn't necessary."

Alice shook her head. "No."

"I don't trust you alone with her, either," Rosalie told him. Edward scowled at her before looking about the room. Esme wouldn't make eye contact, while Maggie's and Jasper's expressions remained stony. Without needing to be asked or told, everyone was on board with not leaving Edward alone with Bella.

Carlisle noticed Edward wince, turning his back briefly on the room. After a moment Edward turned and faced them all again, attempting to speak rationally and honestly. "I do see where you are all coming from. I think that you are right, Carlisle. I am . . . subject to a pull that doesn't come from choice. I've never felt so completely drawn to anyone as I am to Bella." This last sentence came out in a breathy rush before Edward got control of himself again. "I promise to try to know her for who she is. I _do_ want to understand her mind."

"You will-"

"Yes," Edward held up a hand, interrupting Carlisle. "I will stay away from her unless someone else is around, that includes not entering her bedroom."

"Thank you, Edward," Esme accepted.

For now, there was no more to be said.

(~*~)

When the alarm went off Bella's arm arced out and slapped it quiet. She indulged in approximately one hundred and fifty more seconds of burrowing under the blankets before reluctantly sitting up and pulling them off of her. Since today was one of Charlie's earlier shifts, the house was quiet as Bella rose and prepared for a shower. Still foggy-headed and sleepy-eyed, Bella wished she could just stay under the soft sheets.

The water was cold when it hit her hand and made her jolt. Awake, Bella stood naked by the shower as she waited for the temperature to rise comfortably enough for her to step inside. Time to start another day. Her thoughts landed on Edward Cullen, and Bella took a second to appreciate that she actually was starting another day. Had a part of her ever actually doubted it? Ever actually accepted the fact that her father might not have had a daughter return to him last night? Doubted, yes, accepted … no.

Her reflection caught her attention in the mirror. From mid-thigh to the top of her head, Bella could see her own pale body clearly. Interesting how it was her skin that caught her attention, pale and smooth. There was only the occasional blemish, a beauty mark here and there. Her eyes followed the smooth skin from the stretch over her hips, to the indent at her waist and up to her small breasts. How would that skin look turned hard and even paler? Would it make the beauty marks and dark curls at the center of her legs stand out even more? Would her face suddenly become beautiful?

There was really nothing wrong with her face. It wasn't ugly – most of the time. It wasn't special, but it was hers. Bella tried to see it differently and just couldn't. She may have been stuck with the face she got, but after eighteen years of it, she couldn't imagine another. Even as she tried to envision what small lips or a more pointed nose might look like, steam curled across the mirror. Turning towards the hand that she still held under the water stream, Bella stepped into the shower.

(~*~)

"That's new," Jessica commented as she came astride Bella in the school parking lot. It was another overcast day, and the November chill had all the students huddled in their fall jackets and hurrying towards the buildings. Bella looked down where Jessica had pointed.

"Oh, yeah." Briefly Bella held up her wrist, showcasing the simple bracelet. "My mother gave this to me for my birthday. I'm just getting around to wearing it."

"I like it." Jessica tossed her hair behind her shoulder carelessly, causing the brown curls to bounce attractively. "You should wear jewelry more often."

Bella frowned at Jessica's hair. "Yeah, maybe. Your hair looks nice."

Jessica gave Bella a sideways glance as they pushed through the doors to Building Six. "Um, thanks, Bella." Jessica laughed and turned ahead towards class.

The school day went by fairly quickly for Bella. Even though she had never doubted, it was another day in which she found herself living and breathing. What a damn beautiful thing it was to go through a normal day. The walls were still drab, the teachers still tried to find new ways to capture their students' attention, and it was great. Each of her friends was looking good, too. Bella could see the shadow of a man's figure coming through on Eric's lean frame, Ben's complexion was especially smooth, and Angela had always had a touch of ethnic beauty in her soft features. Somehow being more alert and paying attention to her surroundings made time go by faster, and she was at lunch before she knew it.

She sat across from Alice and Jasper today, the rest of the crew at another table. Bella had taken the hint when she entered the cafeteria and saw the two vampires sitting on their own, eyes on her. Murmuring a quick word to Mike, Bella had joined them after collecting her food.

"Hello," she said, immediately beginning to dig a fork into her mashed potatoes. "How did the first evening with the full family go?"

"Bella," Alice's tone caused Bella to look up. "Listen, something really awkward happened last night that we need to tell you about."

"Okay." Bella focused on Alice. "Does this have to do with Rosalie and Edward?"

"Just Edward," Alice answered.

Calmness made Bella's muscles relax slightly, but they tensed up again after she shot a suspicious glance at Jasper, who looked unrepentant.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I don't really know how to say this," Alice began. "Just believe that I didn't see it coming."

Bella listened, her food forgotten, as Alice told her about Edward slipping into her bedroom the previous night. Bella's first reaction was surprised confusion. Edward did … what? Then the thought of him watching her while she slept made her feel exposed.

He hadn't been in the room when she'd woken up… had he? No, she really didn't think so. All the same, Bella could remember vividly the state she'd been in. Had he seen that? Had he _caused _that? Bella's cheeks flushed.

"Did he touch me?"

"No." Alice was quick to reassure. "Definitely not."

"He could have, though! If you hadn't sent Carlisle after him who knows what he would have done. My god, Charlie was just down the hall."

"Charlie didn't wake."

Bella's brain was firing too many thoughts at once, and she spoke not knowing if she could slow down. "What kind of person does something like that? Just who does Edward think he is?"

People from other tables were beginning to glance over. Most were dismissing, but Angela and Mike both looked a little concerned to see Bella tense and hunched over, leaning across the table towards Alice and Jasper.

"Bella-"

"Tell me Carlisle laid into him. No, forget it, I can give Edward a tongue-lashing myself. Oh no, I did not just say that."

Bella sat back down, not even realizing that she'd risen from her seat. Another wave of calm came over her and she gratefully half-smiled at Jasper.

"What did Edward want, being there?"

"He doesn't really know, Bella," Alice said. "You've rather thrown him for a loop."

"Should I be feeling sorry for him?" Bella shook her head, and picked up an apple from her mostly untouched tray. Twiddling it between her fingers, she couldn't quite make herself take a bite. "Edward Masen has got to be one of the most screwed up people I have ever come across in my life. I haven't wanted to be judgmental; I wanted to try for all of you to get to know him and Rosalie. I'm done, though." Bella set the apple back down and stood up with the whole tray.

Alice and Jasper followed, and three trays of untouched food left the table. Bella glanced behind her at the pair, relieved that she was starting her new job that afternoon. It was not Alice and Jasper's fault that she was unhappy with Edward. She wasn't really mad at any of them, outside of _him_. Yet, for today, she was glad to not visit the Cullen house.

"I'll see you guys later," Bella said before walking away.

(~*~)

_"Were you thinking of her body?"_

_"No, not entirely."_

Carlisle scowled, remembering Edward's words. He was alone in his office at the hospital, and not entirely thinking about his job.

Edward had admitted without outright saying that he found Bella sexually attractive. While Carlisle held to his belief that Edward's fascination with Bella was driven by his base vampire nature, this was still an added element that he couldn't afford to dismiss.

As far as Carlisle knew, Edward had never shown any interest in a female since his change. Tanya in Denali, a skilled seductress, had even tried to persuade him to think of her. Edward had politely and firmly declined. Now there was Bella.

Was the physical attraction tied in with the fact that she was his singer? Carlisle had never known before if a vampire's singer had survived long enough to awaken anything other than thirst. He had briefly considered calling Volterra and running this past Aro, but then he might arouse suspicion about Bella.

Regardless of the singer factor, the concept of vampire and human lovemaking was not unheard of. In fact, Tanya and her coven sisters frequently indulged in such relationships. Carlisle had long been accepting of the idea, even if he had never engaged in it himself. His few lovers had all been vampires.

It came to Carlisle suddenly that he hadn't had sex since before he changed Esme in 1921. That was eighty-four years ago, so how much longer had it been since he'd had a physical relationship? Nearly a century? How had that happened?

Carlisle's mind immediately clicked to an answer. His family had grown since then. When Esme turned out not to be the love of his life, he had suddenly found himself part of a family of four. A family that had grown relatively quickly. Carlisle had been happy and contented enough to no longer prioritize the occasional sexual encounter. Obviously it hadn't been a conscious decision.

This was also the first time since Esme that Carlisle found himself in the position of seeing one of his children attracted to someone. Neither Edward nor Rosalie had found love either. Now Edward was … well, Edward's situation was complicated but for the first time to Carlisle's knowledge he was attracted to someone. Attracted to Bella. The thought inexplicably made Carlisle feel lonely. Even if Edward got himself under control, he'd still be getting to know Bella better. He might fall in love.

How would Bella react?

There was a gentle knock on his office door, which he had left ajar. "Dr. Cullen?"

Seeing two of his favorite people, Carlisle smiled and stood. "Beth, come on in."

Beth Lloyd-Jenkins walked in, her son Duncan trailing behind her, hand held in hers. He smiled up at Carlisle, who hunkered down in front of him. "Hey, Duncan. Been treating your Mom right?"

"Hi," was the quiet response from the two-year-old. Carlisle looked up at Beth before straightening.

"He's unusually shy today."

"He's not the only one," Beth murmured to herself, but of course Carlisle caught it. "Oh, just give him time, he'll -"

She cut off when Duncan immediately let go of her hand and ran to the window. "Fly! See the fly!"

"Don't touch the fly, please. Flies are yuck bugs."

"See the fly, Mom?"

"Yes, I see the fly. Don't touch it."

It was hard not to be charmed. Beth and Duncan had come a long way together. The assurance with which she cautioned Duncan showed that she wasn't quite the frantic widowed mother she used to be. "How have you been doing?" Carlisle asked, leaning casually against the front of his desk. "It must be unusual for you to have a Monday morning off from work."

"Yes. Mom's caught the first round of this year's flu, so I took a sick day to stay home. I thought I'd take Duncan out of the house, give her a little quiet to rest."

Grace had moved in with her daughter permanently a little under a year ago. It had saved both mother and daughter time and expense.

"I'm glad that you've come to visit me. It's always good to see you doing well, though I'm sorry to hear about Grace."

"I'm sure she'll be over it by Thursday. Mom's too determined to let a cold keep her from Thanksgiving dinner. Duncan, don't touch, please. Are you working that day, Dr. Cullen?"

"Actually, no. I'll be able to be home with my family."

"It must be hard, raising two teenagers with your sister."

"We manage; with Maggie we have them outnumbered."

Beth laughed. "That certainly does help. Duncan, please don't try to step on that. It's not safe."

"Be careful!" sang out a little voice. Duncan clearly was familiar with his mother's cautioning.

"That's right, be careful." Beth turned back to Carlisle, and he heard her heart rate accelerate. "Listen, this may seem a little unorthodox, what with the holiday this week and all, but I was wondering if you had plans this weekend."

Carlisle was surprised. Maybe not caught completely off-guard, but he was surprised. Beth was a lovely woman in her late twenties, though she looked older. Grief and stress had aged her features prematurely, and there were even a few strands of white running through her dark hair. Thinking about it, it had been nearly three years since Alan Cockburn had died. Carlisle was pretty certain from his conversations with Grace that Beth hadn't reentered the dating scene yet. No wonder she was so nervous. His heart went out to her.

"I do have plans," he answered. Before Beth's green eyes could reflect her disappointment, Carlisle continued on. "However, I also happen to have next Sunday free."

(~*~)

He wasn't afraid of sex. He wasn't. He may have never had sex, but that didn't make him afraid of it. One hundred and four years since his birth, and not once in those years had Edward ever felt inclined to indulge in flesh.

Until now.

That moment in Bella's room, when she had moaned as he was moving out the window, played in his head over and over. Perfect memory would do that to you.

If Carlisle hadn't been outside waiting for him, what would he have done when Bella moaned? What would he have felt? It made Edward feel like a creep now, picturing himself watching Bella and feeling aroused.

He felt it now, remembering. Her dark hair stretched across the pillow. Her skin, so smooth, had been just within reach of his fingertips, looking so warm and soft.

Edward inhaled through his nose and let out a quick breath.

_Bella._

(~*~)

Bella spent Tuesday home with her father planning for the Thanksgiving meal with the Blacks. It was actually rather fun, thinking of having Billy, Jake and Rachel over for dinner. Bella hadn't seen Rachel in years, and she was looking forward to catching up with her, and hearing about college life. After all, it was only a few months before she would be going herself, though to which college was as yet unknown. So it was Wednesday before Bella visited the Cullens again. However put out she was with Edward, she did want to see the rest of the family before the big holiday. The day and a half had calmed her enough that she didn't think that she would explode at the sight of him. Thankfully, she didn't, and very easily slid into Esme's welcoming hug.

"I'm so glad you came by before tomorrow," Esme smiled at her. Edward, who had opened the door for Bella, watched quietly from across the room. Bella did her best to ignore him. "How are you? How was your first day at the video store?"

"It was good." Bella sat down on the couch. "There are a few new things to learn, but for the most part it is easy and surprisingly fun."

"That's good to hear. I'm glad you'll be enjoying yourself."

"Oh, she'll love it." Alice trounced in cheerily, Rosalie right behind her. Practically bouncing, Alice plopped herself next to Bella on the couch. "I'm sorry it's just us here right now, Bella. Carlisle's at the hospital, and Jasper's out hunting with Maggie."

"Oh," Bella frowned a little, rather disappointed. "Well, tell them Happy Thanksgiving for me when they get back."

"I'll tell them," Edward offered quietly. Bella glanced his way uncertainly, and then couldn't help but be struck by Rosalie. She stood by Edward, arms crossed over her chest. Rosalie was dressed in all black, her long blond hair flowing down her back and around her shoulders. She looked like some sort of goddess that was ready to kick some ass. Bella imagined that Rosalie could probably be quite terrifying when the mood struck her – and the mood probably did often.

"It was good of you guys to drop your activities and come spend the holiday," Bella said.

"Our activities?" Edward repeated.

"Edward and Rosalie usually come home for the bigger family holidays," Esme cut in. "As well as for visits in between."

"Our last visit was too long ago," Edward said, eyes focused on Bella. "Obviously we missed you until now."

Bella said nothing. Edward held her gaze, hesitating.

"Bella, I believe I promised to finish a conversation with you last time we spoke."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. I do owe you an apology for not being more open with you. I am sorry."

_You're apologizing for the wrong thing, buddy,_ Bella thought. "It's okay," she said again.

"I believe you wanted to know about my 'activities,'" Edward pressed, and there was a slight flash of anger in his eyes. "Most specifically how many people I've killed?"

"No, actually." Bella could tell when she was being pushed, and she didn't like it. "I asked you about life alone with Carlisle."

"But that's not what's on your mind right now, is it?"

"Wouldn't you love to know what's on my mind."

"Will you two stop fighting?" Esme asked, a stroke of maternal authority in her voice. Bella immediately felt culled.

"I think you're going to need to let them have this out, Esme," Alice suggested. "They're not really going to get along until they clear the air."

Edward also looked shamed. There wasn't a trace of resistance or hostility when he spoke this time. "I do wish to get along, Bella. I don't know why I get so worked up when you bring up my lifestyle. I think I sense that you disapprove, and I don't like it."

Bella looked cautiously around. Esme's eyes were large and lips were tight, but she said nothing. Rosalie held the same stance as before, looking ready for action of some sort or another. Alice gave Bella an encouraging nod.

Bella spoke slowly. "Why would I approve?"

Edward seethed for a second. "We're helping people."

"You're enacting vengeance on behalf of those who have not asked you to."

"Should we wait for someone to ask us first?" Rosalie asked challengingly. "Wait until people are hurt, people who may not afterwards be able to speak for themselves ever again?"

"Rosalie, I don't think that you should-" Esme began.

"No, Esme, Bella is stating her opinion on what I do as well as Edward. I think I should be allowed to have my say as well as him."

"I'm really not trying to start a fight," Bella said. Her heart rate had accelerated, which was not unknown to the others in the room. Bella could feel her nerves beginning to act out. She really didn't want to have an argument with these two, but didn't know if she could back out safely. Honestly, she wasn't sure that she could back down at all. "Couldn't we just disagree until we know each other better and then talk it out?"

"Disagree about what, though?" Edward asked. "Tell me what you think. Please."

"I don't know what _to_ think – entirely. I believe in the due process of the law. I don't believe that ending a life is a punishment that can be just doled out."

"We don't kill at random."

"Well, thank God for that, but it doesn't change what you are."

"What are we?" Rosalie asked, a lock of blond hair falling in front of her left eye.

Completely out of the blue, an image popped into Bella's mind of Tom Cruise, blond locks tossing as he pumped his fist and shouted: "_Do not doubt you are a killer, Louis!_"

"You're killers," Bella answered.

"Yes," Rosalie nodded. Bella inched back in her seat.

"Rosalie, don't scare her," Esme warned.

Bella shook her head. "I'm not scared." _Liar._ "But I am uncomfortable. I'm sorry, this whole…" Bella seized on the word Edward had used, "lifestyle of yours is not something I can really understand or appreciate. I'm not sure if I'm ready for this conversation."

"Not believing that you can understand is the mistake I made last time you were here talking with me, Bella," Edward said. "Let me try this time."

He really was trying. Bella could see that. Yet it bothered her that he was focusing on only the one thing that he did wrong.

"Then help me to understand why you snuck into my bedroom."

Edward looked taken aback. He obviously hadn't been expecting her to call him out, at least not this way. He stared at Bella, at a loss for words.

"We're sorry that happened, Bella," Rosalie said very gently. Bella's eyes shifted from Edward to make contact with Rosalie's golden ones. Her face was kind, and it threw Bella a bit. She clearly didn't know Rosalie at all yet.

"I shouldn't have done it," Edward said, bringing her attention back to him. "I am sorry."

Could she leave it at that? Accept his apology and move forward as if it had never happened? A part of Bella wanted to, the part that made her squirm at the idea of fighting over the vigilantism. She wished that Carlisle were there. If he were in the room, she would be able to sense how he felt about this, and somehow Bella believed that she would feel more confident. Not knowing how Carlisle felt about Edward sneaking into her room made her reluctant to just forgive and forget. Then again, she did know that Carlisle had been upset and fetched Edward himself.

Why was she thinking about Carlisle?

She should be thinking about why Edward was there. He hadn't given her a reason, just apologized.

"Edward, what-" Bella stopped, started over. "Do you spy on people like that with Rosalie?"

"We do not sneak into young girls' bedrooms." The steel was back in Rosalie's voice.

"We observe from a distance," Edward said. "I don't need to get too close to hear someone's thoughts."

"So you do spy."

"In a manner of speaking, yes, of course. How else would we anticipate and prevent?"

"'Anticipate and prevent,'" Bella repeated.

"We don't wait for a woman to get raped before we intervene," Rosalie said. "We spare her those moments of fear."

It made Bella think. Rosalie had lived through that and much worse. She had known a moment or two of that kind of fear herself. She didn't want to think on that though, had spent months not thinking about that. Unnoticed by Bella, Alice silently guided Esme from the room.

"By killing someone," Bella answered Rosalie. Her words were starting to come quicker, and she could feel the sweat on her palms. "Prevention is one thing; death is quite another."

"You said before that we enact vengeance without being asked. The state of the world makes it manifest that we are asked. All around us are people who suffer without any help or aid, without others of their own kind even aware of it. We have the ability to be aware of it."

"If you had knowledge of a crime before it happened, would you not also have a responsibility to act?" Edward asked, the emphasis in his voice a direct reaction to Bella's stress. "Your own law dictates that you do."

The law. With that, Bella found her ground to stand on, and she literally stood up. "Human law says I should call the police, not try to stop it myself – and certainly not to kill."

"If Alice had not known ahead of time what was going to happen to you and acted, you'd be dead right now."

That answered a question that Bella had been afraid to ask herself. She hadn't wanted to think about it, to know. Bella was incredibly grateful that it had been Alice to save her that night. "She didn't act all vigilante. She just got me out of there."

"Bella, you are truly absurd," Edward said.

A sick feeling began to form in Bella's gut as she stared into Edward's topaz eyes. "What?"

"Rosalie and I were there that night. Alice called us."

"No." Bella shook her head, even as her quickening heartbeat knew he spoke the truth.

Edward moved a step closer to Bella, holding her gaze. "Alice was not going to be in Port Angeles that night. Rosalie and I were supposed to get to Alonzo, the leader, before you crossed paths. Decisions changed, he left earlier. That might have saved you, but your path changed, too. It's almost as though the two of you adjusted to make sure you'd meet."

Edward was close enough to her now that their chests almost bumped. Her heart pounded. "Rosalie and I were waiting in the shadows while Alice and Jasper got you away. I heard his thoughts. I know what he would have done to you. Now he will not be hurting any women ever again."

Bella swallowed uncomfortably, the lump in her throat not going away.

_Pah-puhm pah-puhm pah-puhm._

"You killed them both?"

"I'm just a killer, aren't I? It's all I do."

"Edward, stop this," Rosalie interrupted.

Edward backed up a step, and Bella used the space to turn to Rosalie. She hesitated, mouth opening as if to speak. Unable to, she turned and ran from the room.

* * *

**A/N: Well, I wanted to add a story recap to open the chapter, but adding a note to the top of the page took away all the center-alignment. If you'd like to remind yourself of what is referenced in this chapter, Chapters Four and Five cover Bella's attack, Chapter Seven is the first mention of Carlisle's friendship with Beth Lloyd-Jenkins. Chapter Thirteen is Edward and Bella's first meeting.**

**When I woke this morning, I certainly didn't expect to have a chapter that I felt satisfied with enough to post. This chapter has given me much grief over the last two months, and I completely started over just a few days ago. It's not perfect, but I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks go out to those who looked it over and gave me feedback. I really really needed it.**

**Thank you everyone for sticking with this story. :)**

**Next chapter... Rosalie starts to sink her hooks in. Alice tells Edward to back off, and why.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's note: Some acknowledgements. First, to DecemberEclipse, who has ever been a supporter and advocate of this story. She started a harder and more elite school this past fall, and still tried to find the time to help me with my chapters. I hope you continue to enjoy the story and the extra freedom to explore and expand your own creativity.**

**Second, to ItHappened and Nachos4Children, two ladies who have been my Twi-friends for over a year. We've shared not just ideas, but trials and tribulations together. You two rock.**

**Third, to ronjon, who loves this story so much that it stays on her mind and she misses it between postings. I hope this chapter holds you through! **

**Fourth, to AllTheOtherNamesAreUsed, who stepped up to help me through this chapter. I've got a winning lottery ticket, and it's ATONAU.**

**Finally, I've got about three weeks to go until my baby comes. I can't guarantee that the next chapter will post before then. For those who want to know, I'll put it up on my profile when the baby is born. In the meantime, I will be writing!**

* * *

~*~ Chapter Fifteen ~*~

Two men… dead… because of her. Oh, God. Bella couldn't think, couldn't process. Facing the side window without really seeing out of it, Bella exhaled. She covered her face with her hands briefly before pressing them together against her lips as she struggled to think.

She'd spent months just putting that incident behind her, pretending that it hadn't happened. She hadn't known how to deal with it otherwise. Bella had immediately focused her attentions on the Cullens instead, and it had worked. Worked better, actually, than she would ever have thought possible. It was easy to forget something terrible when something truly amazing was going on. Learning about and being with the Cullen family had been the best thing to ever happen to Bella.

It wasn't perfect anymore. Four days earlier Edward and Rosalie had shown up to mar the ideal picture she loved - only they'd always been an unseen part of it. Now they were bringing to the surface what had been the worst thing to ever happen to her. Edward had said it; he had known what those men were going to do. It wasn't just rape.

They were going to kill her.

"We didn't kill them, Bella."

Bella turned around, somewhat startled at not having heard Rosalie come up behind her. Funny how Bella had never been caught unawares in the Cullen home before. Had the rest of the family always taken care to make their footfalls audible around her? Or had she never had her back turned toward any of them?

"Alice asked us not to," Rosalie continued. "They both had records, one more severe than the other."

Bella felt a wave of relief, and her shoulders and hands sagged with it. "They're in jail?"

"Yes, for now."

Bella nodded. That was all she really wanted to hear. No, actually, it wasn't. "If not for Alice, you would have killed them?"

"Very easily." The low yet clear words caused a shiver down Bella's spine. "Alice was quite adamant that we not kill them. Alonzo Calderas Wallace was wanted in three states. We simply brought him to one of them, left him unconscious in an alley not far from a police station and placed an anonymous phone call."

"That … was the dark-haired one?"

Rosalie nodded. "The other one's name is Clifford Pendleton. I put him outside the Port Angeles station myself."

Bella swallowed. "Thank you." She didn't know what else to say. Rosalie completely threw her. Most of the time she was intimidating, and sometimes downright frightening. This was the third time, however, that she had been sympathetic – even kind.

Rosalie gave a small nod in acknowledgment.

"I'm sorry – for the argument," Bella said.

"You're very young," responded Rosalie and Bella pushed away the slight feeling of offense at those words. She was younger than Rosalie by several decades, after all, and she hadn't wanted or felt prepared to enter into the discussion.

"I'm not ready to judge you," Bella said.

Rosalie arched an eyebrow. "Yet you do."

Bella nodded and looked down. "Yet I do."

"Why don't we both try letting it go for now?"

"Okay," Bella answered, looking up again at Rosalie. Was there a way to somehow understand this woman? She was obviously intelligent, and had shown Bella that she was something more than her tough-as-nails exterior. "Do you read?"

"Do I read?" Rosalie repeated the unexpected question.

"Mm-hmm."

"No. I don't read. Never really cared for it. I had much more 'important' things to focus my mind on when I was human. Afterwards, I didn't really pick up the habit."

"Do you have any habits? Other than…"

Rosalie smiled. "I like to walk, and think. Sometimes my hunting trips last a day or two longer than necessary because I enjoy the chance at solitude."

"I can imagine it must be difficult being around Edward all the time," Bella muttered.

Rosalie laughed. "We both appreciate the chance to get away from one another."

From the front of the house, piano music began to weave through the room. Bella paused for a second or two before continuing. "So you both hunt at the same time, but separately?"

"Sometimes."

Bella wanted to ask Rosalie what she thought about on her solo sojourns, but knew it was too personal a thing to ask. Getting personal with Rosalie might not be a comfortable thing.

"Not to wake sleeping dogs, but why do you only feed off animals?"

"You'd rather I didn't?"

"No, I'm grateful you do; it's just if human death bothers you-"

"I have no problem with the death of a human."

"Why? That confuses me. Eating is a necessary part of surviving. If you don't believe in killing them for food, why would you believe in killing otherwise?"

An indefinable expression crossed Rosalie's face, reminding Bella that she wasn't exactly talking with an average person. "There can be more than one reason to kill; not everything is black and white, Bella. Some contradictions don't need to be explained; they just are. People aren't one path only. We are all shades of gray."

Bella frowned. Rosalie acted as though she was delivering sage advice, but it felt like a non-answer.

"You're looking at things as though they have to be one or the other, Bella, and they don't." Rosalie obviously didn't have any trouble discerning Bella's expressions. As Bella continued to look at her, Rosalie scowled. "Take Carlisle, for an example. He is the best of us. Always compassionate, fair-minded and reasonable. You'd think that he'd never act irrationally or without thinking something through first. Yet you didn't have to be Jasper to tell how angry he was when he flew out of this house Sunday night to retrieve Edward." Rosalie smiled at some inner thought. "He definitely moved before thinking, felt anger before rationality. Even Carlisle is vulnerable to contradiction, to walking down more than one path. Understand?"

Bella shook her head. "No. I don't see the connection with my question."

Rosalie sighed. "Then let it stew for awhile. Maybe you'll see some multiple paths in yourself. I hope you do. You've got great potential, Bella."

_Um… thank you? Potential for what?_ Bella didn't say anything.

There were a few seconds of Rosalie simply watching Bella before she called out gently. "Esme?"

"Yes?" Esme answered, appearing in the hallway. Bella looked at Rosalie, puzzled.

"I think Bella is getting ready to head home."

Rosalie was right. Bella didn't really feel like staying in the Cullen house much longer. She wanted to retreat and be alone with her thoughts for awhile. How had Rosalie known?

Esme stepped forward and put her hand on Bella's cheek, looking at her with caring concern. "Are you alright?"

Bella nodded, and smiled fondly at Esme. "Yes. I hope you don't mind that the visit was so short."

"Any time at all with you is welcome, Bella. Here, let us walk you down." With an arm around her shoulders, Esme guided Bella down the stairs. Alice waited to also give Bella a hug good-bye and a promise to call her before things got hectic the next day. Over Alice's shoulder Bella briefly made eye contact with Edward, who was still seated at the piano. He was watching her intently, but Bella dropped her gaze quickly.

"Have a good time with your family tomorrow, Bella," Esme said.

"Thanks." Awkwardly Bella looked about the room at the three women, but her final word before leaving the house was directed at Edward. "Bye."

(~*~)

Once again letting the piano keys take him over, Edward began to think. He was angry with himself. Why was it so hard to keep his emotions under control around Bella? She didn't deserve to have him snapping at her. She was just trying to be nice, and he had pushed the only button he knew she had. Maybe that was part of it. He needed to feel that he affected her some way.

He wished that she didn't disapprove of him so much. When she left the house she could barely even look at him. It seemed that everything he did was making things worse between them. He had to stop. He had to focus more on her, to listen to what she was saying. She had actually asked not to discuss what she knew would lead to a fight and he had refused to let her drop the subject.

He really needed to do better. He _had_ to do better. Edward didn't think that he could stand it if he didn't create some sort of peace with her, so she could look on him at least as a friend. Or with a more positive eye. Edward wasn't sure that he wanted only friendship from Bella Swan. That was another problem.

She entranced him with her blood, intrigued him with her blocked thoughts and compelled him with her loveliness. That made her more to him than just his singer. Though he wanted to be both emotionally and physically close to her, forming an emotional bond was more important to him. Being physically close posed danger to them both. While he had gained a large measure of control over his thirst for her blood, she was still so delectably fragile. He wasn't ready. No, he had to begin by knowing her better and that meant repairing the damage already created.

Edward switched from Sibelius to Debussy, changing the mood of the music filtering through the house.

Should he buy her flowers? No, he didn't think that would go over well. The next step had to be to just get into another conversation with her, and really listen to her. Which was, actually, what he wanted to do. He wanted to get to know her mind.

From there, he could try to insert himself into her life more positively. Bella was worth getting to know and taking it slow. Perhaps he could, with time, find that she returns his interest. Edward felt a sliver of nervous apprehension. He was actually interested in pursuing a romantic relationship. Life had certainly delivered something unexpected to his doorstep. Sensing Alice approaching, Edward finished the movement before she entered the room.

"Come with me," Alice said, grasping Edward's upper arm and pulling him along with her. Edward could tell that she had an agenda, something significant that she wished to relay to him, and he followed wordlessly. They left the house, running through the woods until they were miles away and Alice found a comfortable place to stop.

"Edward," she began, turning to face him, "I know that Carlisle is very important to you. In addition to being a sort of father figure and brother to all of us, Carlisle is probably the one person you respect most of anyone you know. So I want you to listen to what I have to say and try to be accepting."

Whatever Alice was carefully working her way toward revealing, she knew that he wasn't going to like it. Carefully putting himself on guard, Edward nodded. "Alright."

"You know that Carlisle came close to finding love only once, until Esme met Maggie."

Edward felt a touch of resentment at being reminded of this. After all, he had been there when it happened, not Alice. "Yes."

"How long did Maggie have to wait?"

"What's your point, Alice?" Edward saw the answer immediately in her mind and took a step back in surprise. The image was like a hard jab into his gut, completely taking him off guard. Bella… with _Carlisle_?

"My point is that Carlisle has been alone for three times as long as you have," Alice said. "He and Bella have only just started on their journey towards each other. You start wooing her, and you could not only ruin this for him, but also create a path that permanently takes her away from all of us. Do you want that? Would you want Carlisle to be forever alone? Bella is his chance, Edward."

Edward shook his head. "I'm having trouble believing this. You are asking me to leave Bella alone because Carlisle saw her first? Carlisle doesn't even think of her like that."

"Not consciously, but oh, he will. Bella has a lot of potential she's yet to grow into, but the seeds are already planted. Trust me, Edward. I see something really good and happy resulting from Bella and Carlisle being together. You enter the picture and put yourself between them, it only leads to confusion and unhappiness, enough that it might push Bella away from our family."

"She hates me right now."

"She won't always," Alice said. "Bella doesn't want to dislike you. You've just rather freaked her out. For every thing that you find compelling about Bella, there is something that Bella finds distasteful about you. It's not a good beginning, which is why so far the two of you have been having trouble getting along. You will be friends, though. Nothing more than that, Edward."

Edward raised an eyebrow at the warning in her tone. "You act as though I could make it more."

"If you tried, Carlisle might back off. Even though he doesn't realize his feelings right now, Carlisle wouldn't be able to allow them to grow if he knew it caused you pain."

Edward looked away from her, off into the trees. "It already causes me pain."

Alice was not unsympathetic. "Edward, let her go. For Carlisle. Let them both be happy."

They were persuasive words. Edward did wish to see Carlisle happy and in love. He would not ever want to be responsible for holding that back from him. Bella, too, he wanted to see happy. If he really cared about her as much as he suspected, then he would find it in himself to let her choose her own path without trying to influence it towards himself.

Before allowing themselves to become completely squashed by more worthy emotions, reluctance and resentment pushed to the surface. "How can she belong with Carlisle? Her blood calls to me; _she_ calls to me."

"Edward, Bella would be no more to you than Esme would have been to Carlisle."

The words were painful to hear, even as they delivered validity to his emotions. After all, up until now Esme had been Carlisle's only chance at love. Yet, to imagine Esme with anyone other than Maggie was almost sacrilege. It certainly didn't compute that they could be as happy with anyone else. Esme being with Carlisle would have meant missing her true love, settling for second best.

Edward closed his eyes, shutting out the mixing day and evening lights as the sun slowly set behind the clouds.

Alice also hinted that this was it for Carlisle. Not having Bella would mean unending loneliness. A loneliness that Edward himself could now feel keenly. He knew what he would decide, the only thing he could possibly decide from the moment Alice let him see Bella and Carlisle together.

"Alice, leave me alone for awhile, alright?"

Alice said nothing as she departed. Edward stayed still, a statue in the evening woods. Gradually the sound of animals moving became part of the atmosphere around him. There was a soothing peace to be found in the woods. Alice had known what she was doing by taking him out here.

He could see the image of Bella and Carlisle from her vision. Each had an arm around the other, smiling before Carlisle dipped his head. Bella turned her body and lifted her face to meet him. Their lips met in a slow, tender and savoring kiss, lasting just long enough to not be inappropriate to the rest of the family around them. Bella was older, her hair styled differently. Her eyes held a wisdom and confidence they didn't have now, even as her face beamed with joy.

Edward remembered those brief seconds when he'd first seen her in the kitchen just a few days ago. He had focused at the time on how lovely she appeared, but his mind's eye could recall with perfect clarity that she had been in Carlisle's arms. Leaning against him, eyes closed, there had been trust and comfort. Carlisle, for all the focus he'd had on Edward himself, had been happily content with Bella enfolded against him. Alice was right. There was already something started there, with potential to grow. Bella was Carlisle's, and not his.

Edward's breath hitched, and he deliberately stopped using his lungs as he sunk to the forest floor. Even though he had barely met Bella, he felt so much toward her. He had only just sorted out his own feelings, determined how much he genuinely wanted her. Now she was gone from him. Gone before he'd even had the chance to draw her close, before he'd even smoothed over all the mistakes he had made. Why had he been such an ass? He felt like a schoolboy pulling the pigtails of a girl who moved out of town the next day. He'd screwed up. Maybe he'd never really had a chance, since Carlisle was, as he'd put it, more intimate with Bella. And they would be intimate; he'd seen it through Alice's vision, through the confidence and solidarity between the two of them. He'd lost Bella before he'd even found her, and had known her just long enough to understand what he was losing.

Edward heard her thoughts before he heard her delicately quick tread. Resigning himself to the intrusion, he decided that her presence was actually a welcome one. Seating herself beside him, Maggie pulled up her knees and rested her arms on them. At first they said nothing to each other, just sat side by side.

"I am very blessed." Maggie broke the silence, her sweet voice beginning to fill the emptiness. "Every moment in the last eight-four years I have never forgotten how blessed I am."

Edward remained silent.

"It may sound exaggerating, but it isn't. Living so long alone keeps me appreciating that Esme came into my life. Even though I had to sacrifice to be with her."

"Liam and Siobhan still haven't spoken with you?"

Maggie shook her head. "Not Liam. A century wouldn't be long enough for him to forgive my desertion. I did hear from Siobhan once, about twelve years ago. It was brief."

Edward turned to look at the curly-haired redhead beside him. "You have always been a welcome member of this family. I never regret that you joined us."

"I know." Maggie smiled. "This family is a precious one, and the rift Alice worries about would be a sorry thing to see."

"I'm not going to create a rift."

"True. I know that will be hard for you, Edward, backing off. It wasn't easy for me when I thought I had found my mate."

Edward was surprised, before he pulled from her mind that she wasn't referring to Esme, but to someone much earlier in her life.

"His name was Fearghal, and did it ever suit him. Honorable, strong and brave, he had been a warrior in his human life. When I found him he was alone, uncertain of what had happened to him or how he'd been changed. It was a mystery we never solved. I took him in. I thought that he might learn to love me back, but he never returned my feelings. I could see when he pretended, when he reached out from loneliness, but I knew how his heart truly felt. He was not and could never be my true mate. The hardest thing in my life was telling Fearghal to move on."

Edward's heart twinged sympathetically. Even though it might have been over a thousand years ago for Maggie, it was a sadness she could still feel. Not to mention that he had a pretty good idea right now what it might have felt like.

"Of course," Maggie continued more lightly, "I realize now one reason why we were never meant to be."

Edward grinned. "Just a tiny detail."

"It's all about who your heart recognizes, Edward. I know that yours recognizes Bella."

Edward's temporary relaxation departed. "She's not meant for me, Maggie."

Maggie put her hand on Edward's back consolingly. "That doesn't keep it from hurting. I understand that this is really the first time you've ever felt an attraction, a genuine attraction, and that until now you've really only had Rosalie for companionship." Edward snorted, and Maggie gave him a quick grin. "Parts of you have been lonely, Edward. I'm sorry this situation has driven that fact more to the forefront. Waiting for love is one of the hardest things to go through. You live your life as usual, doing for yourself as you see fit, but it's always in the background – the big thing that will happen one day. Disappointment is a sharp bitter taste when you find yourself almost there, and losing.

"Yet if anyone can tell you to still have hope, Edward, it's me. Hold on. It will be hard, especially when Bella is so close, but hold on to your hope that love will find you. It may make it easier to watch her grow toward someone else."

Edward let out a strangled breath and hung his head. Allowing the vulnerability, he leaned against Maggie's small frame. Maggie's arms came about his shoulders and held him there. The night forest, on the cusp of winter, was silent around them.

"Why do you get to steal Carlisle's girlfriend, and I don't?"

"Oh, well, I do have more experience than you, not to mention that I am much prettier."

(~*~)

Bella was on the beach again. There was a massive sand castle being built. Turrets and battlements, a moat, drawbridge, and portcullis were all intricately shaped upon the wet sand. If that wasn't impressive enough, there was even a dungeon – Jacob's doing.

Across from Bella, his fingers curled into the sand, claw-like, as he glared at someone over her shoulder.

"You shouldn't be here," Jacob said like he had before, and again Bella felt herself grabbed from behind as the scene shifted. She was in the alley, cold marble arms encircling her, and Edward's voice whispering into her ear.

"I forgot to say hello." His lips were so close that she felt them brush her lobe. Then they were skirting down the side of her neck, light and teasing. Bella was frozen. Her brain screamed to get away but her body could do nothing, locked tight in Edward's supernatural embrace. The lips he had pressed to the side of her neck spread, and Bella felt the reverberation of his groan before his teeth pierced her skin.

Bella screamed and shot straight up in bed. Awake, her hand flew to her neck, feeling for a cut that wasn't there. There was a brief rattle of her doorknob and the door to her room pushed open. "Bella!" Charlie called, voice full of alarm.

"I'm here, Dad. I'm okay." Bella scrambled and turned on her bedside lamp, lighting the dark room. Charlie was in her doorway, eyes still wide from alarm and concern. He hadn't stopped to dress and stood there wearing only his dress gordon flannel pajama pants.

"What happened?"

"I had a nightmare."

"Must've been one hell of a dream. You don't usually scream, Bella. This is the second time now."

"Yeah – it was the same dream, sort of."

"Hmm." Keeping his eyes on Bella, Charlie walked over to the desk and turned the chair around before sitting in it. "Tell me about it."

"Uh…"

"Don't tell me you can't remember. You just said it was the same dream from March."

Bella was awake enough to not make a face at her father's pointed observation. If only she could keep herself from vocalizing in her sleep. Her father cared, though, and that was why he was pulling the cop out now. "I'm being attacked."

Charlie waited for more. Bella considered telling him that she dreamed about vampires - that was a typical horror image. Technically it was true. Yet, she didn't even want to present a suggestion of the idea of vampires to Charlie. She had a secret to protect, however innocent the explanation might seem.

"It starts on La Push. I'm on the beach with Jacob. He suddenly gets angry that someone is there, and I'm just grabbed from behind and dragged away. Sometimes I'm hurt, sometimes I wake up before anything happens other than being grabbed."

"Huh." Charlie frowned. "I'm no psychologist, but you're upset because someone is pulling you away. Did you have this dream before coming home again?"

"No, but, oh no, Dad, don't think that I regret coming here. I love being here with you."

"Good," Charlie grunted. "You've been happy, Bella, otherwise I'd be more worried." Charlie moved on quickly. "Have you ever been attacked? Has someone tried to hurt you?"

A lump caught in Bella's throat for a moment. "No. It's just a nightmare."

"A screaming nightmare about not being safe." Charlie frowned at his daughter, several different thoughts and scenarios going through his mind. "Listen, Bella, do you remember how to throw a punch?"

"Yeah." Not long before Bella and Renee had left Forks Bella had started a kids' karate class. Renee had wanted to put Bella in ballet. Thankfully, her parents had left the choice up to her. She'd picked the belt over the tutu.

Charlie nodded. "Good. I'm going to bring home a can of mace after my next shift. I want you to have it, okay?"

"Okay," Bella agreed. Her dream had worried Charlie, and she wished again that she could control her nighttime murmurings – or screams, in this case.

Charlie stood up and walked over to the door again. He paused. "I want you to be safe, Bella," he said to the wall.

"I will be," Bella promised.

It was the best he could do for now. Charlie left the room, shutting the door behind him.

Bella turned off the lamp, but didn't go back to sleep. She hated that she had worried Charlie, and that she had lied to him. Yet she just couldn't bring herself to tell him about what had happened that night in Port Angeles. She didn't know how he'd react, and since she'd been blocking her own reaction for so long, it was just too unknown an element to share with Charlie. The mere thought of trying to discuss this with her father was frightening. Yet, she couldn't ignore anymore that it had happened. Damn Edward for bringing it up!

At least Rosalie had told her the truth. Those few moments staring out the window thinking those men were dead had been enough torment. Bella was glad that was over; she didn't need to feel the weight of it anymore. However, Bella did need to face the fact that she had been attacked. She couldn't bury it anymore. She needed to talk.

Bella waited until the house seemed quiet and silently slipped some clothes on. Outside Charlie's door she listened to his regular breathing, and then hurried downstairs and out to her truck.

When she parked it several minutes later in the hospital lot and moved to the lit doors, she never noticed the cruiser that had discreetly followed, and pulled away once she was safely inside.

(~*~)

"Dr. Cullen?" Carlisle looked up from the chart he was holding. Having just sent home a fevered young man with the advice to triple the normal ibuprofen dosage every four hours, the ER room was now empty. Diana continued walking towards him. "Grace just called from out front. Isabella Swan is here and would like to speak with you."

This was a little unusual. Though a frequent patient in the ER, the only other time Bella had shown up to talk with him he'd been in his office. Carlisle felt a touch of worry, for he hadn't actually spoken with her since he'd made Edward leave her bedroom. Not to mention the fact that it was the middle of the night. Carlisle didn't let his reaction to the unexpected news show on his face. "Alright, thank you, Diana."

"Interesting that she's not here for an injury. Did you want me to…?" Diana left the question open-ended, her expression dubious. As with most places that he had worked, the nurses on staff learned to deflect patients that seemed to be more interested in seeing the good-looking doctor than actually in need of treatment. Carlisle smiled, amused to see Diana making the same mistaken assumption he himself had made earlier in the year.

"Bella is best friends with my daughter and has become fairly close with my family. I'm sure it's important. I'll be right out."

Diana just gave a nod and swung out.

When Carlisle first saw Bella, it was obvious that she was unsettled. She had been pacing before he approached. There was tension in her neck and around her temples. Her hands clenched and unclenched. Her gaze didn't really meet his when he walked up to her, as her eyes weren't focusing on anything in particular.

"Hi," Bella said breathlessly.

"Bella." Carlisle continued to examine her face.

"Can we talk?"

"Of course." Carlisle hesitated briefly on where to bring Bella. In another hospital he could just take her into a private exam room, but this ER wasn't set up that way. He couldn't bring her to his office; that was in another wing and he needed to be on duty here. Taking Bella by the upper arm, Carlisle tilted his head in acknowledgment to Grace, who looked on with kind concern. Passing through the double doors of the still empty ER, he guided Bella to one of the beds on the far side. It wasn't completely private, but he would be able to detect if anyone approached.

Automatically, Bella sat on the hospital bed, and Carlisle wheeled over a stool. Neither was sure what to say first. Carlisle wanted to apologize for Edward's behavior Sunday night, but he didn't think that was what was distressing her so much right then. Bella didn't know whether to begin immediately with what she needed to talk about, or to preface it somehow.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you like this when you're working."

"Bella, I hope you feel that you can always come to me."

"Thank you, Carlisle. I appreciate that."

When she didn't continue, Carlisle gently took her hand. "Bella, what is it?"

"Have you talked to anyone at the house since you came in to work?"

"No, actually, I have not. Did something happen?"

Bella half-shrugged. "Kind of. I stopped by to wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving." Bella looked down at their clasped hands before looking up at Carlisle again. "I'm sorry, but I fought with Rosalie and Edward."

Carlisle squeezed her hand. "It's alright, Bella, tell me what happened."

"Oh, I just… Edward called me out on not believing in what he and Rosalie do. It wasn't an easy discussion – and then he told me…"

As Bella searched for the words, Carlisle felt himself go tense wondering what Edward said that upset her.

"He told me they were there that night in Port Angeles."

This was something that Carlisle had never discussed with Bella. He remembered talking to Alice after the incident and she'd dissuaded him from seeking out the unknown girl to make sure she was all right. Interesting how things could come around full circle.

"That must have been hard to hear."

Bella nodded. "It was better after Rosalie followed me and explained that they didn't actually kill anyone that night, but…"

Bella slowly inhaled through her nose and exhaled out the mouth. "I've tried to forget. I wasn't hurt, so why dwell on it? I realize now that I can't just pretend that it didn't happen."

Carlisle focused on the delicate weight of Bella's hand in his, the soft warmth against his skin. She was so strong and yet so fragile. He wondered if the hand he held so gently now was the same one that had been bruised. Carlisle could still feel stirrings of anger that someone had touched Bella, but anger was not what she needed from him right then. She needed him to listen.

Carlisle shifted positions so that Bella's hand was enveloped tenderly in both of his. He met her gaze when she looked up at him. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

Bella nodded. "Yes. That's why – why I came." Bella took a quick breath and began. "I didn't know my way back to the boardwalk when I left the bookstore. I thought I could take a shorter way. By the time I realized I was wrong, there weren't many people around.

"I wasn't too worried when I saw _them_, until I looked at his eyes. Alonzo's. There was just something… creepy. When I saw him alone behind me, I…"

Bella stopped. She stared without focusing, brow drawn in tight. Carlisle waited, her hand still held in his.

Finding the words, Bella continued, "I got nervous. I knew that he was after me, and not for my purse. I think a part of me still believed that nothing would happen. I don't know why. I don't know why I suddenly became brave. His friend showed up again; I was trapped, but I ran for it. Alonzo caught me, pinned my arms down and said something superficially polite. 'I forgot to say hello.'"

Bella closed her eyes. "I keep dreaming about being grabbed like that, dreaming of those words." She opened her eyes. "I don't want to be having these dreams, scaring Charlie because I wake up screaming. I don't know how to feel about that night, the two guys, Edward and Rosalie. I just know that I can't go on hiding that this happened. Even if my life has moved on, a part of me hasn't."

Carlisle squeezed. "Doing exactly what you're doing can only help."

Bella sighed. She looked around the large emergency room, at the empty hospital beds, the standard cabinets on the walls, the industrial double doors. It all felt so clinical. How could she talk about emotions she didn't really understand in such a familiar but sterile environment? Yet Carlisle was the reason why she came. When her eyes settled on him, taking in his golden hair and pale, beautiful face that showed both support and affection, Bella knew she could continue. As odd as the notion might seem, Carlisle felt like home.

"They were going to do more than rape me. Edward said that they were going to kill me afterward."

For a second or two Carlisle's eyes darkened. His mind conjured up the memory of finding Rosalie's body, tried not to replace the face with Bella's. Only with Bella's image, there were ligature marks darkening her throat, and no life left to be found. It took only an instant to pass through his mind, but required more to control the fear and anger it generated.

"It didn't happen, Bella. You're safe."

"I know. I know that I wouldn't have been safe if it weren't for Alice. I just – I knew I might have been hurt, but I nearly died, and didn't know it until tonight. Carlisle – if Alice hadn't… If I hadn't been stupid enough to go off alone, to think I knew where I was going…"

"Bella, you are not at fault. Never, _ever_, blame yourself for what could have happened that night." Carlisle leaned forward so that his unflinching gaze met Bella's. "You didn't do anything wrong."

Bella held herself there, holding eye contact with him. Carlisle's hands were firm on hers and there was an intensity of feeling coming from him. She knew he was right, but still she had begun to doubt herself. Bella felt so glad that Carlisle was there for her. She'd needed to talk to someone, needed someone to remind her not to slip into a void of fear and negative self-damning emotions. She might have gone to Alice, but it was Carlisle's comfort that she'd known she really needed. She just wanted to lean closer and slip into his arms again, despite the exposure of the large open room.

"I know," she said, looking down at their hands and placing her free one on his before looking up at him again. "I just was beginning to have a hard time convincing myself of that."

Instinct had Carlisle wanting to pull her close, to soothe her doubts away and let her know that he would be there for her whenever she needed him. It wasn't appropriate. He was at work, and while he may be a doctor and giving comfort was part of his job description, these emotions were too personal. Instead, he looked down at their hands. Even that began to seem inappropriate, should someone come through those doors and see. However, he didn't remove his hands from hers – he couldn't.

"I am very grateful that you are okay, and you _are_, Bella. You may have pushed this into the back of your mind until it troubled your subconscious, but you are strong enough to not let this hurt you for long. I see that in you already. Don't let these dreams keep you from that. You are living and breathing, just as you should be."

_Just as you should be_, Carlisle thought, _and thank God you are._

Bella said nothing, merely moved her head in agreement.

"I was concerned about you that night," Carlisle continued, "without knowing that it was you. Alice was still refusing to reveal your identity to us at the time."

Bella blinked a few times. "She was?"

"We all knew that one of her schoolmates had caught her attention, but none of us knew why. Alice wanted your inclusion in our family to come about naturally."

"So that's why she protected me that night?"

"She already loved you as a sister, no matter how aloof she might have seemed."

Bella have a soft laugh of incredulity. "Huh." Then she was silent. Her face fell as troubling thoughts crossed her mind. She had always been happy to find herself as involved with the Cullens as she had become. They had truly become a central aspect of her life. Yet, now she realized how much she owed to them. If it weren't for the Cullens, she might not have a life. Even Rosalie and Edward – if they hadn't gotten involved, other young women might have died after her. Those two didn't need familial love in order to intervene.

"Bella?" Their hands had become separated when she got lost in her thoughts, and Carlisle lifted his right to briefly touch her cheek. He didn't like the disturbed look on her face.

"I was just thinking. Edward and Rosalie. They are helping, aren't they?"

Carlisle let out a long breath. "Yes, they are helping, in their way."

Bella remembered what Carlisle had said to her just one week earlier: that the choice Edward and Rosalie made pained him every day; that he had to let them make their own decisions.

_Choose their own path_. The words in Bella's head were so reminiscent of Rosalie's that they temporarily shook her. That was something she'd have to think about later. Right now, she felt that she owed a little to Carlisle. Not only for having brought up a touch of his grief, but to thank him for being there when she needed him.

"Rosalie and Edward have disturbed me so much over the last week or so. They've brought back memories that I might have kept buried. Yet, I'm glad that they did, because I need to face those memories. I'm glad that they are here, because I know that despite their choices, they are a part of the family. Your family means so much to me, Carlisle." Bella's eyes were earnest, her words very heartfelt, and Carlisle felt his expression soften as he watched her.

"I won't get into any more fights with Edward and Rosalie. I won't-" Bella paused to breathe, to hesitate. "I won't hide from the past anymore, but I won't let it keep hurting me, either."

Carlisle watched her determination, her love for others expand to try to include his two most difficult family members. He saw the bravery and lingering hurt as she referenced facing and overcoming that potentially fatal night in Port Angeles. He decided to disregard professional propriety. Standing, Carlisle pulled the curtain, granting them privacy before he pulled Bella off the bed and wrapped his arms around her. She came to him easily, relaxing against his chest and giving a gentle sigh as her own arms settled about his waist.

"I know you can," he said, "and I admire you for it." He moved his head, tucking hers under his chin. Her warmth surrounded him; the steady beat of her heart was palpable through their clothes. She may not be an adopted daughter, a sister, or a longtime companion, but she belonged with them. "I am so glad that you are safe, so happy you found your way into our family. I love you, Bella."

Bella smiled into Carlisle's chest, feeling very grateful to be a part of the Cullens. Being here was right, and she knew that she had made a good decision in coming to see him tonight. "I love you, too, Carlisle."

* * *

**Next chapter... A tighter bond between Carlisle and Bella (obviously!) ... and things turn darker after Bella learns that someone is no longer in jail.**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Surprise! I managed to squeeze another chapter in before I squeeze the baby out. :-)**

**Many thanks to all those who nominated and voted for this story and "One Weekend" in The Vampies and The Inspired Fanfic Awards. **

**Also, thanks from me to A + Z, who helped me with my musical frustrations on Twitter Sunday night. All for that one line in this chapter! ****ATONAU - you are an indispensable treasure. Thank you.**

**Disclaimer: I do not post this for monetary profit. **

**Disclaimer: READ THE WARNING EVERYBODY!**

* * *

**WARNING:** **This chapter contains violent imagery surrounding Rosalie's last night as a human. To any who don't wish to read it, I recommend skipping over Rosalie's **_italicized_ **dialogue.**

~*~ Chapter Sixteen ~*~

Thanksgiving was a blast. Having Billy, Jake and Rachel all in the house made the tiny yellow two-story feel full of laughter and affection. Smells from the food cooking in the kitchen permeated the whole first floor. Bella had prepped the turkey before going to bed the previous night, and Charlie had followed her written instructions to put it in the oven in the morning. Rachel had a kick-ass recipe for homemade cranberry sauce, and Jake made a very simple but tasty glazed carrot dish. It was a different experience than being with the Cullens, since food was never part of the atmosphere quite like this.

Bella enjoyed ganging up with Rachel to tease Jake, and neither girl minded the food that ended up in their hair when he retaliated. When time between cooking allowed it, the three of them played games on the kitchen table while Billy and Charlie watched football in the living room. Rachel was untouchable in Trivial Pursuit.

"Demi Moore," Rachel answered from in front of the stove as she opened the oven to check on the bread cooking alongside the turkey.

"Um, nope, sorry," Jake said in a tone that was anything but. "It says Demi Moop."

"What?" Rachel turned to glare at her brother even as Bella laughed into her hand. "It does not!"

"Demi Moop. No pie piece for you."

Closing the oven door and grabbing the towel that hung there, Rachel whipped it at Jake. "This is not a Seinfield episode." After much banter, Rachel consented to switch to a different word game they could easily play around cooking the food.

As conversation continued, Rachel was able to draw from Bella that her top college choices were Colby, Middlebury, Dartmouth and University of Phoenix. Bella wasn't doing Early Decision, so she still had time to get her applications in. Essays were already written, and at least one teacher had already provided a written recommendation.

When it came time to eat, the food was set up on the counter to leave room for all five to sit at the table. Moving back and forth, they all stuffed themselves and felt very satisfied.

"Charlie," Billy said, seeing him rise from the table again, "you get yourself one more helping and you're going to be too portly to chase down the bad guys."

"That's why I'm chief and can send out the minions to do the chasing. Besides, look who's talking." Charlie set down Billy's plate in front of him, having refilled it, too.

Seeing Billy and Charlie at the table, joking and laughing, made Bella feel warm inside. They got along great, despite the unspoken disagreement between them. Family and friendship really mattered more. Grinning at some wise remark Jacob gave Billy, Bella elbowed him in the side and took a bite of her mashed potatoes.

"Have you found Folmsbee yet?" Billy asked Charlie.

Charlie swallowed the food in his mouth and used a napkin. "Yes, unfortunately. He killed himself. Left a note."

Bella looked over at her father, not expecting the sudden turn of conversation.

"Who are we talking about?" Rachel asked.

Charlie grunted, looking down at his plate. "Ted Folmsbee, a man from our area, broke parole within a week of being released from Monroe."

"He should have stayed locked up," Billy said.

"Might have been better for him if he had."

Jacob asked the question on Bella's mind. "Why? What did he do?"

"Doesn't matter, Jake."

"You brought him up, Dad."

"My mistake."

"You got your Rabbit built yet, Jake?" Bella interrupted what she knew would be another protest from him.

"Uh… almost." At Bella's not-so-subtle hint, Jacob let the topic drop, and soon became very animated in sharing the latest work he had done on his car. "I want to build a motorcycle next."

"Jesus, kid," Charlie closed his eyes and shook his head. "You'll turn my hair white."

(~*~)

Thanksgiving had been just the beginning. Bella starting going through each day feeling somehow lighter at heart. True to her word to Carlisle, not even Edward and Rosalie upset her, though that wasn't entirely due to her own devices. Edward had become less confrontational; in fact, he seemed to keep to the outer edges of the room whenever she visited. Rosalie hadn't really been confrontational to begin with, and Bella found herself liking her more as they had increased opportunities to talk.

The casual affection between Bella and the rest of the Cullen family had somehow grown. A hug of greeting from Esme or Alice had never been out of place, but now Bella found herself more often hugged or touched throughout a visit. It wasn't unusual to elbow Jasper like she would Jake, or receive a playful nudge in return. Maggie might tuck a lock of Bella's hair behind her ear, or Esme might rub her shoulders briefly. It was as if Bella's happy mood translated to the whole house, and some of the stiff formality of vampire mannerisms just dropped.

Alice was over at Bella's house early in December, stretched on her stomach across Bella's bed and flipping through a fashion magazine. Her legs were bent at the knees, ankles crossed in the air. She looked every inch the modern teenager.

"You seem to be getting along well with everyone these days," Alice commented, smiling as she flipped a page.

Bella glanced up from her desk, pencil in hand, textbook and notebooks open. "I suppose so. It's a relief to not be fighting with Edward anymore."

"I'm glad that things have cooled between you two."

Bella shrugged, looking over her textbook again. "He's not that bad."

Alice rolled over onto her back, holding the magazine up. "We can't all be Carlisle."

"What's that mean?" Bella asked with a laugh.

"Just that Carlisle is practically the definition of good," Alice said nonchalantly, not taking her eyes off the pages in front of her. "He's unique among our kind, you know. Other vegetarian vampires got there after a struggle, but Carlisle has never fed on a human. He's the only one, apart from Rosalie." Alice turned a page. "Of course, Carlisle's never killed anyone. I wouldn't be surprised if he has saved more lives than Rosalie and Edward have taken. In fact, I'm certain he has."

_Huh, _Bella thought. _I wonder if Carlisle partly feels he needs to try harder to save lives to make up for Edward and Rosalie? I'll have to find a way to ask him. _ Bella stared at Alice, whose face remained hidden. This was a little bit of an odd subject for her to bring up. "I think very highly of Carlisle, Alice. You know that."

"Of course I do. He's the reason you became part of this family. You spoke with him first, didn't you?" In an almost lightning quick movement Alice lowered the magazine to the bed and sat up. "To get back on topic, you're noticeably happier, and I'm glad to see it. So tell me, when are you going to start thinking about dating?"

"Whoa, Alice." Bella laughed with surprise. "Where is this coming from?"

"I'm trying to give you a little encouraging nudge. You're happier, so I think it's time you stopped holding yourself off from other people as much as you do."

Bella's jaw opened disbelievingly as she protested. "I don't hold myself off."

"Not so much lately, no, and that's good. So why not date? Let a little of your romantic side loose, Bella. At eighteen, you're certainly old enough to be exploring it."

"I'm, um, I'm not ready to be romantic with anyone, Alice." Bella frowned, and her mood changed from surprised reluctance to defensive sarcasm. "Got any candidates, Miss See-the-Future?"

Alice smiled sadly at Bella, and that really threw her off. "It's not easy seeing the future, Bella. Things can always change when someone makes a sudden decision. Certain visions can be very solid, despite other minor choices happening along the way. I generally have more visions of those whom I care about, because that's what I want to focus on. Obviously, I keep almost all of this to myself – since knowing the future can sometimes change it. You, Bella, are really the youngest of us, with so much ahead of you, and I see so many things that can or will happen in your life."

Bella didn't know how to react, or rather, she had too many reactions to focus on just one. The idea that Alice sees so many of Bella's own future events was freaky and scary. That Alice keeps these bottled up inside her, and does probably all the time with everyone in the family, made Bella pity her. Pitying Alice was a new sensation, and an uncomfortable one. Not to mention that Bella's head spun even trying to comprehend the philosophy of speaking about the future changing what will happen.

"I'll tell you this, Bella. I know when you'll have your first boyfriend. I know how soon your first kiss will be, and I know that they are not the same two people. I want these to be healthy experiences for you, so that's why I'm giving you a push to open up and know your heart well enough to not make a mistake."

Bella was silent for a few seconds. "Am I going to make a mistake?"

Alice grinned. "Not that I see, but listening to your heart a bit will help you through some confusion."

"Alright, fine. I've received said nudge. How about we change the topic?"

"Oh, that's easy." A wicked glint came into Alice's eyes as she lifted a corner of her mouth. "I've already given Charlie his Christmas present from me. A promise."

"A promise?"

"Yep." Alice grinned cheekily and tossed the glossy pages on the bed beside her at Bella. Reflexively, Bella blocked with her arms, hands briefly crossing in front of her face. "I'm going to convince you to go to the prom."

(~*~)

Carlisle's date with Beth had been interesting. They'd gone out to dinner because anything less felt disrespectful to Beth, in whose well-being Carlisle was genuinely invested. So he had managed to slowly eat an entrée and sip water. Their conversation had been good, at first focusing on Duncan, but then gradually shifting to Alan. The memories spoken of her dead husband were natural and unintrusive, but soon became a lot more frequent. A stutter mid-sentence showed Carlisle that Beth realized this. She didn't bring him up again, and while the rest of the evening passed pleasantly, there was sadness in her eyes.

It was still a nice evening out for both of them, and parting ways at the end Beth and Carlisle each felt mutually satisfied that it would not happen again. Carlisle had found an opportunity after the meal when the gentlemen's rest room was unoccupied to expel the human food. It was not a façade that he enjoyed, but one he had frequently experienced over the centuries of assimilating into human society. If a serious relationship with Beth had become a possibility, he would have had to keep up the façade more frequently.

The coven in Alaska might be able to regularly indulge in physical relationships with human men, but Carlisle doubted the ladies ever revealed their true nature. Not only would it violate Volturi law – a thing the women had bitter experience with in the past – but Carlisle didn't think they kept one man around frequently enough for him to become suspicious. It spoke a little of the double standard between men and women. As a gentleman, Carlisle could never treat a woman the way those in Alaska treated their men. Feigning humanity for a relationship was an added burden he did not want on his conscience.

There was really only room for one human in his life. Carlisle looked at Bella, who was comfortably settled beside him on the couch as she chatted with everyone. Bella knew the truth and Carlisle had always trusted her with it, even though he had strongly feared for her safety in the beginning. He shouldn't get too lax with that. Bella was very ensconced with his family, and she was still in danger should the Volturi ever find out and decide to act. Watching her laugh with Maggie, tilting her head back as her face lit up with humor, Carlisle knew that he would do anything to protect her. He tightened the arm he had around Bella, giving her an affectionate squeeze. She looked up at him and smiled.

Abruptly, Edward left the room, Alice and Jasper both watching him. Soon Salieri could be heard coming from the pounding strings of the Steinway.

"It's nice to have him here playing again," Esme commented. Beside her on the loveseat opposite the other four, Maggie nodded.

"I enjoy it," Bella answered. Unseen in the other room, Bella's words made Edward smile.

"Edward's music has always been one of my favorite things about our home," Esme continued.

"Does he play when he's not at home?"

"He finds opportunities," Rosalie answered as she entered the room. She stopped in the center of it, and lowered her gaze to Bella beside Carlisle on the couch. "We can hardly be constantly transporting a baby grand as we move around, and a keyboard is too inelegant for our Edward. Yet, every once in awhile he manages to find himself at a public piano, or to buy something small that we end up leaving behind. The piano purchases are rare, since we don't wish to be traced by any sort of pattern once we depart."

"Are you fairly nomadic?" Bella asked before thinking. She had grown relatively comfortable with Rosalie, but for a moment she feared that she was stepping on dangerous ground.

"We have to be. Apart from not wishing to get caught, we don't wish to miss opportunities to stop a more dangerous element somewhere else. Sometimes we keep track of a 'person of interest' left behind in another city, just in case."

"Interesting choice of words," Bella commented, and decided to smile. "You almost sound like a cop."

"Well, Bella, you should be interested. I've been doing my job keeping tabs on a certain _criminal _I arranged to be caught. One of your attackers has just been released from jail."

Bella stiffened, the smile sliding off her face. There was silence as no one said a word. Edward appeared in the doorway.

"That would be the fair one?" Bella finally spoke, sliding the foot she'd been sitting on out from underneath her.

"'Fair'? The guy's a creep, but yes, it would be the lighter-colored one. Clifford Pendleton. He only had a record for petty theft. This state has a short jail term sentence, but he managed to get it extended by being mouthy to the judge at his hearing."

Without paying attention to what she was doing, Bella slowly rose, blinking, and began to pace a little.

"What would you like me to do about him, Bella?"

Bella turned to Rosalie. "What did you just ask me?"

Rosalie took a step forward. "Would you like me to kill him for you?"

"No, of course not!" Bella exclaimed and Carlisle was soon standing with her, his hand on her shoulder in support.

"Rosalie, what on Earth are you up to?"

"I'm not up to anything, Carlisle. I'm just keeping Bella informed."

"Then she should be fully informed." Edward stepped in. "Clifford Pendleton only had a record for petty theft because that's mostly what his crime life had extended to prior to meeting Alonzo Calderas. Even then, he didn't rape their victim."

"Oh no, just kept her in place." Rosalie's upper lip rose in a snarl as she spoke. "Fully informed, Edward. Didn't Cliff intend to rape our Bella that night?"

Bella's eyes had been going back and forth between the two of them, and now they darted to Edward. His expression was pained as he looked at Bella and nodded. "Yes."

"Then he deserves to die. Your jail cell held him for a little while, Bella, but now he's out."

"Is he going to come after me?" Bella's voice almost trembled, but not quite. Carlisle's hand tightened on her shoulder.

"He doesn't know you, Bella," Alice said from the now half-empty couch. "He might remember your face, but he doesn't know enough about you to come after you. He wouldn't anyway. You were just in his path the moment Alonzo led him to it. If he even thinks about you again, it would probably be with a little fear, since Jasper and I spooked him."

"So I'm safe, then?"

"Safe? _Safe!_" Rosalie's voice escalated before she drew a breath and started over again. "You think you're so safe. All of you women nowadays, you suffer under this illusion that you can't be touched, no harm will come to you. Being the daughter of a police officer didn't keep you from being grabbed in Port Angeles.

"I see this so much when I'm in the city. Women being careless, not taking precautions. So foolish! Is it any wonder that there are so many victims? Women today are lucky that more of them aren't being hurt. They've lost their sense of self-preservation."

"That's crazy!" A defensive nerve had been touched in Bella, and she welcomed the distraction from Clifford. "Women are capable of taking care of themselves. We're not pre-made victims. Men get hurt just as much."

"Yes, Bella, men are victims, too. I know. I've seen it, but women are much easier to hurt. They always have been."

"Rosalie does have a point," Esme said, and Bella turned to look at her in surprise. "A woman had very few rights in my time. She had no choice but to obey her father and her husband. Even when she was hurt. It was my duty to be Charles's wife. It didn't matter what he did to me."

Bella trembled, and Carlisle's hand moved in a single soothing stroke on her shoulder and upper arm. Bella hadn't known this about Esme's past. _Just how much don't I know? s_he wondered. "I'm sorry, Esme."

"I've been alive a long time, Bella," Maggie said. "A woman being hurt, sexually abused - it was just a matter of course. Something all women expected to happen to them or someone they knew. That has most definitely changed since the advent of Women's Liberation. There's more awareness in the courts, there's more fighting back. Women _don't_ expect it to happen to them anymore, though it does. So in a way, Rosalie is both right and wrong."

"Thanks for the support, ladies, even if it is double-edged. Since I'm out in it nearly every day, I'm comfortable with my own conclusions."

Bella wasn't convinced, but she said nothing. What could she say against all the unknown experiences of the women in the room with her?

"In my time we were more aware of the fragility of being women," Rosalie continued. "I was foolish to think I was an exception. After all, I was Rosalie Hale, fiancée of Royce King – who would dare touch me? It wasn't even a possibility."

An unexpected change came over Rosalie. Her face lost expression, and Bella noted that her eyes seemed to acknowledge a realization before they lost focus.

"'_Show him what you look like, Rose!_'" she whispered, startling everyone. Edward made an almost indiscernible half step toward Rosalie, but then stopped. Rosalie continued on, verbalizing what she was unable to not see. "_Royce wrenches my hat off. The pins pull on the roots of my hair and I cry out from the unexpected pain. He is pulling at me, and I resist, but my heel breaks from the awkward force on it. I stumble on my coat buttons scattered at our feet. As I lose my balance Royce pushes me, right into the arms of his friend, John._

"_He's as tall as me and his breath stinks of liquor. He paws at the coat Royce left dangling from my shoulders, finishing its removal and I slap at him. It does me no good; he is stronger. I don't want him touching me, invading my space. Panic makes me struggle harder to get away. I manage to scratch his face, but I can't escape. The friends have moved in, laughing and catcalling. There are many hands holding me, pinching, ripping my clothes. I tell them no, to stop touching me, but my words don't matter to them. I try to scratch again, but I am blocked. Royce has grabbed hold of my wrist._

"'_Aw, Rose, don't be like that. You and I are just going to celebrate our wedding night a little early – with friends.' Anchoring with his other hand, Royce pulls back hard on my wrist. There is a loud snap and pain runs up my arm and into my eyes, blinding me. I scream._"

It was like humans watching a train wreck. A disaster was occurring before their eyes, and no one could move or speak to change it. None of the Cullen family had ever heard Rosalie speak aloud of what had happened to her that night, and all stared at her, almost transfixed. Only Edward seemed to have any expectation of the words to come.

"_For a few seconds I can't see what they are doing to me as I'm held helpless. I can feel the touching, the licking, the yanking back of my hair. I can't move my right hand. Suddenly Royce pulls me and turns me around, pushing me down to my knees. It jars my wrist and I scream from the pain again as John grabs my head._

"_Something is shoved into my mouth, fleshy and hard and it hurts. I can barely breathe. I struggle to move, try to cry out, but I'm held still. What's left of my ripped skirt is shoved to my waist and Royce pushes his fingers into the exposure between my legs. I keep struggling, keep trying to scream. Someone has taken my left hand, bending it back and pressing a clothed bulge against my palm._

"'_Take it, Rose; you were made for this,' Royce says. John's hands tighten and he is pushing harder. The corners of my jaw hurt from being forced so wide. It hurts inside me where Royce is poking and pulling. Then I'm choking; something is filling my throat and I gag on it._

"_The men cheer. John steps away and I spit out what I can of the slime in my mouth. My hand is let go of. I only barely start to curse and shout when Royce shoves me forward onto my stomach. My arms move to break my fall, but not in time. My right hand is useless. My flesh is scraped and cut against the ground. Royce grabs my hips and turns me over. Hands are holding me down at the shoulders and someone straddles my chest even as Royce lifts my hips and shoves inside me. Another is forced into my mouth. I try to bite, but I can't. My mouth is freed only long enough for my face to be hit. It's so hard my head rolls to the side, then to the other side as a second strike comes. I'm having trouble seeing out of my left eye, and my face has blood and tears running down it. I am not sure how long I've been crying._

"_I'm hurting everywhere. My wrist is broken, my hips and arms are bruised, my skin cut. I can barely breathe from the pressure on my chest. Royce and his other friend keep pounding to the cheers of John and the rest, until again my mouth is full of stickiness. Only this man pulls back to shoot some into my eyes and over my face. They all laugh._

"_I can breathe better when he gets off of me. Royce is yanking me up again, not caring that it hurts me. He is still inside me, but he grabs my backside and spreads me open. 'Come on, Beau!' he laughs._

"'_No,' I manage to say through my raw throat. I don't see Beau when he settles behind me and-"_

"Stop, Rosalie!" Carlisle shouted.

He stood behind Bella, his hand tight on her shoulder. Across the room Esme was hunched over, physically weeping though tears could not fall. Maggie had her arms around her mate's shaking shoulders, and she pressed soothing kisses to her temple. Jasper likewise had his arms around Alice, both of their expressions mirroring grief.

Carlisle's raised voice had broken the spell. Rosalie's mouth closed with an audible clunk. If Bella noticed Rosalie's eyes shut painfully and fingers curl into her palms, she didn't care as she ran from the room. She found her way to the toilet and barely managed to get the seat up before she was regurgitating into the bowl. Her body rejected the contents of her stomach even as her mind tried to reject the images put there. Bella could almost feel the invasion of her space, the invasion of her body. It was an illusion, but her right wrist ached as it clung to the bowl opposite her left. Bella spilled and spilled until there was nothing left to expel.

Breath heaving, Bella sank to the floor of the bathroom and cried. Within an instant, Carlisle was on the floor with her, arms around her. She pressed her face against him and cried until she couldn't anymore. He soothed and held onto her, never letting go.

(~*~)

It was not a terribly overcast day, and Alice and Jasper stayed home from classes. At that moment there were clouds covering the sky and Bella welcomed them. She was still in a haze from the previous night as she walked across the lot after school. Carlisle had been angry with Rosalie. Bella had never seen him that way before, had never heard him yell. Truthfully, his few shouts had barely registered through to her on the bathroom floor, but she could acknowledge now what she'd heard.

Bella had wanted to leave, and it was a sentiment Carlisle echoed, though he felt that she was too shaken to drive. Edward had volunteered to drive her back in the truck, but Carlisle had immediately vetoed. Bella protested that she could drive herself, but it hadn't taken much for her to consent and let Carlisle drive her home. They'd been silent at first, until Bella just gave in, and leaned her head against his shoulder. His right arm had lifted, tucking her in against his side. He'd murmured comfort and apologies the rest of the way.

When he'd dropped her off, Carlisle got out of the truck and gave her back the keys. Then he'd hugged her. "Everything will be alright, Bella." Placing a long kiss on the top of her head, he'd stepped back and lifted her chin. She'd stared into his eyes, knowing that he was leaving, knowing that she had needed him badly and he'd been there. "Be sure to drink some water, okay? Take a glass with you to bed."

It'd made Bella smile, and she'd nodded in agreement before he vanished from her sight and she went inside the house.

Thinking about that now as she reached her truck, Bella smiled again.

She didn't see it coming.

She just felt herself grabbed. The parking lot and trees smeared before her watering eyes as she was carried away.

* * *

**A/N: This is the darkest chapter you will see in "Moonlit."**

**I hope that this chapter unsettled you enough to understand Bella's reactions, but not enough to leave you unhappy after reading it. I don't read or watch things like I wrote in this chapter, because I am personally too disturbed by it. I didn't finish reading "Girl With the Dragon Tattoo," though I saw the movie, fast-forwarding over the scene I knew was coming. I loved Mystic River, and tell my husband he should see it, but I probably won't watch it with him. I still have nightmares about The Kite Runner. I hope that what I've written isn't disturbing to that degree - but is slightly more serious than a Nora Roberts romance thriller (which I love to read). I thank those of you who read the chapter in full, and I fully support those of you who chose to skip over Rosalie's flashback.**

**I have already started Ch. 17, but I really don't think it's likely that will be finished before baby comes. I can absolutely guarantee that Ch. 18 won't post before then. ~wink~**

**Between the happy beginning, the dark ending, and all the hints of what's to come, I'd be interested in knowing what you thought. In the meantime, take care, and I'll be around to post again...sometime.**

**Next Chapter. . . we find out who snatched Bella and why . . . and later we'll see Bella get her first kiss.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer, whose words I took verbatim for a few places in this chapter.**

* * *

~*~ Chapter Seventeen ~*~

The fast pace made the landscape around them blur. Eyes closed tight against the onslaught of rushing air, Bella knew that they were moving deeper into the trees. She had no idea how far away she was from her truck and the high school. She knew only that she was completely vulnerable to the cold arms and hard chest holding her in.

_Please let me be okay,_ Bella prayed in her mind.

Her right arm was trapped between their bodies, her head against a shoulder, and her left hand reflexively clutching the one opposite. Risking moving her neck against the force of air pressing her against her captor, Bella looked up. The familiar jawline and straight nose of a model-perfect boyish face were just visible through her squinting eyes. Recognition gave her a new level of panic, and Bella shut her eyes tight again. _Oh, God, what's happening?_

No sound indicated his effort in carrying her at this speed. There were no footfalls, no breaths or grunts of exertion. At every second Bella expected to feel the slap of a tree branch hitting her body, but it never happened. He was being careful.

Soon their speed reduced until he had stopped running altogether. Bella opened her eyes and saw that they were in a clearing, a perfectly round opening in the woods. Slowly, Bella was lowered from her bride-over-the-threshold position back onto her feet.

When Edward released her, she stumbled back from him, arms held out to ward him off. The adrenaline rush was the only thing keeping her on her unsteady feet. Fear pumped through her veins, and she knew that he could hear the rapid _pa-puhm pa-puhm_ of her heartbeat. Was Edward hungry? Would Alice see what was happening and save her? Would Carlisle come?

Across from her, Edward also had his arms out, palms upward. "I just want to talk," he said, his musical voice gentle and offering no alarm. Bella wasn't ready to believe him. They kept up the dance a few more seconds, Bella stumbling backwards, circling away while Edward continued facing her.

"Just talk," Edward repeated, the topaz eyes of his beautiful face pleading.

Bella stopped moving her feet. Her arms dropped. "Okay."

Nodding slowly, Edward also stopped moving. "Okay."

They stood in the middle of the meadow, six feet apart, facing each other.

"Any reason why you couldn't have used the phone this time?" Nerves made Bella's words sound harsh, despite the decision that she had just made to trust him.

"I don't think that what I have to say should be done any other way than privately, face-to-face."

When he didn't continue, Bella simply stared at him, waiting.

"It's about Rosalie," Edward said.

Bella's expression softened. "Is she okay?"

"No, she hasn't been okay for some time." There was a beat before Edward continued. "I know from Carlisle that you'd already heard of what happened to Rosalie. I am grateful that last night wasn't your first introduction to her story."

Bella blinked at him. "Why does that matter?"

Edward hesitated, and his mouth quirked in a sort of half-smirk. "I suppose it really wouldn't have been that much less of a shock. You'll have to forgive me, Bella. I've become somewhat desensitized over the years. Not enough, though." This last was just a murmur.

"What do you mean?" Bella asked.

Edward sat himself on the ground and motioned to Bella to do the same. The dead brown grass was frozen against the hard soil beneath it. Bella sat; it wasn't _too_ uncomfortable.

"Her flashbacks," Edward answered. "What you experienced last night, what Rosalie said… she goes through that every single day, and has since the moment she woke."

Bella's jaw became loosened as Edward's words sunk in. "Jesus."

"She's never spoken aloud about it before. In the beginning, Carlisle knew that she would relive the trauma in her mind, but he's never known the full extent of it. Before last night, I've been the only one that knew they were flashbacks, and still occurring."

"Your mind-reading ability."

"Yes."

Left knee bent, Bella started playing with the laces on her sneaker. "You said that she's not okay?"

"Rosalie has a great deal of self-control, but not even she would be 'okay' going through that." Edward continued, "You know the solution she's found to deal with her pain."

Bella's mind was moving very rapidly in more than one direction. First, she thought of Edward experiencing all these flashbacks with Rosalie. It reminded her of what she had thought before meeting Edward: that he was a victim of Rosalie. Yet that thought got dropped when Bella focused on Rosalie experiencing flashbacks, her angry, destructive even hypervigilant behavior. Her reaction to the topic of safety last night had proven that her emotions were volatile. All these symptoms added up in Bella's mind.

"Rosalie has post-traumatic stress," Bella said, looking at Edward with wide eyes. "She's been suffering from PTSD for nearly eighty years."

Edward's mouth half-opened. His eyes darted over Bella's face as he considered her words. "Yes. Yes, actually, you could absolutely say that."

Bella's eyebrows lowered. "Are you saying that you didn't realize this until now?"

"PTSD was hardly a commonly diagnosed condition in the 1930s, Bella," Edward defended. "The medical field only acknowledges it in hindsight."

"Doesn't matter!" Bella stood up and glared down her nose at Edward. "You've known all this time she's been flashing back. You should be doing something to help _her_, not her mission."

Edward calmly met her gaze. "What makes you think I haven't been?"

"Oh, maybe the fact that she's obviously not better."

"She's better, Bella." Edward never broke eye contact. Wisdom and a sort of agelessness stared out of his topaz gaze, cooling Bella's indignation. "She's just not cured."

Bella began to feel foolish as she stood, hands on hips, looking down on Edward's calm, too-perfect face. Her arms dropped, and soon the rest of her followed, returning to her seated position beside him. "Kind of hard to find a cure when you don't know the disease," she offered. It was an apology and, unfortunately, held a trace of taunting. Edward silently accepted the former and ignored the latter.

"Rosalie and I share a very… precarious dynamic."

_Sister/brother, victimized psycho/therapist, vigilante killers, _Bella listed in her head.

"Your mind-reading, experiencing her flashbacks with her," Bella began instead. "Is that why you avoided being around her so much at first?"

Edward raised an eyebrow at Bella, impressed. "I see Carlisle really has shared with you."

Bella nodded. "We talk."

Edward's expression was unfathomable for a moment, before he took a short breath.

"The pain of what Rosalie goes through," Edward continued, "as awful and as powerful as it is, was only one element. Every time I saw it in her mind, I felt the same rage she would feel, the same desire to go out and punish. It appealed to the monster within, made the venom burn."

Edward's eyes searched Bella's face, looking for understanding. "It can almost take away your sense of self, your higher-minded reasoning. All you feel is your venom. The instinct is so strong many act without stopping to think. They give themselves over entirely to being the monster, the vampire. There is no pull stronger. Forgive me, but there is nothing ever felt as a human to equal it."

Bella simply nodded. In a way, Edward was apologizing and trying to make up for the way he'd treated her when they first met. Bella leaned back onto her bare hands, shifting her position on the hard ground. "So, Rosalie's flashbacks made you have to challenge your own demon every time."

"Yes."

"So now the two of you together both . . . indulge your demons."

Edward stiffened. "It's not quite like that, Bella. Neither Rosalie nor I want to be vampires. It's one more thing that we have in common."

"You don't want to be…? I don't understand." To Bella, Rosalie and Edward were the most vampiric of the Cullen clan, the most embracing of their darker natures. What Edward was saying just didn't match up with how she understood them.

"Rosalie never wanted to be anything other than human. She wishes she could get that back, or at the very least have died the night that Carlisle found her."

Bella looked down at the dirt and dead grass.

"Her anger helps her to do what she does, propels her the only way she knows to save herself," Edward continued.

"What about you?" Bella asked, turning her head towards him.

"It's always hard for me to accept what I am. I'll never completely forgive myself for those years I spent… actually feeding." Edward's expression was wary, as if afraid that Bella would condemn him for his admission. "Rosalie's 'mission,' as you put it, is a compromise that I could agree on. I firmly believe that we are contributing. We do help humans in allowing our monsters only a limited lead. I am also obligated to Rosalie."

"Why?"

"Royce King." Edward answered, eyes probing. When he saw comprehension on Bella's face, he knew that Carlisle had not held back in sharing that fact as well. "Rosalie blames me for not having prevented what happened to her, and every time I see her flashbacks, I can't help but wish that I had."

Bella didn't know what to say. Pity was her foremost reaction, but it wasn't something she wanted to offer, particularly since it felt so unfamiliar when paired with Edward Masen. Wasn't this the same guy who had sneaked into her bedroom while she slept? Yet, looking at Edward's downcast angelic face, Bella didn't really feel herself caring about that anymore.

Bella sat up, removing the weight from her hands. Thinking of Rosalie's flashback made her wrist to ache again. Holding it in her lap, Bella began to absently rub it when the gesture suddenly became all too familiar. She'd often done the same thing back in March, after Port Angeles.

Bella shifted again on the hard ground.

"Here," Edward said and made the unexpectedly chivalrous gesture of removing his coat and spreading it out for her to rest on. Underneath he wore a simple button-down. Not enough to keep away the chill for a human, but enough for him. Bella rose and sat again, resting on the far more comfortable gray wool.

"Thank you," said Bella softly. She touched the back of his left hand, feeling the familiar marble cool she expected. "That's a long time to not forgive yourself, Edward."

Edward closed his eyes slowly before giving a small smirk. "Rosalie doesn't let me forget."

"Her flashbacks," Bella nodded understandingly, but Edward shook his head, eyes open again.

"No, I mean Rosalie. She has a good heart, but she is a manipulator, Bella." Edward's voice rose in intensity, the brief tranquility between them gone. "I told you she has great self-control. Why do you think she actually voiced her flashback last night? Something that she has never done before in the seventy-two years she's been experiencing them?"

Bella had no answer.

"She did it because of _you_, Bella. She deliberately chose to break your innocence. Last night wasn't about sharing, or asking for help. It's one thing to need to speak aloud about something inside in order to move forward and heal. It's completely another to bombard others with graphic details of your victimization to the point that you make them sick and grieving. That's why Carlisle was so angry."

Carlisle's anger, now it made sense. Bella felt for Carlisle, and at the same time her mind tried to grasp what Rosalie's actions had to do with her. She was completely at a loss. "She wanted me to hear that? Why?"

Edward stood, stepping away then back again. Loyalties twisted within him. For better or worse, Rosalie had been his companion for decades. Betraying her thoughts went against the grain. Yet he was also very committed to Bella's well-being. It was as though he had been fated to care for her, not that he would ever have chosen otherwise anyway. Fate or choice, Edward knew that he still cared for Bella. "Rosalie wants you to understand her pain, feel her anger because, like her, you were once a victim. She identifies with you in a way that she hasn't with anyone else we've ever saved or known to be victimized."

Bella closed her eyes. Mental images danced against the physical blackness. Her picture of Royce was meshed with that of Alonzo, and soon became just Alonzo himself. Bella didn't wanted to see it, and her body gave a little twitch of protest against the visuals. She opened her eyes.

Edward crouched down again, this time in front of Bella. His expression was very earnest. "Be careful of what she says to you, Bella. Rosalie is recruiting."

Bella knew that Edward wasn't referring to her physical prowess. She scrambled up and stepped back from him. "You said when we got here that you cared how much of a shock her words were to me. Why didn't you stop her if you knew what she was deciding? If you agree with her philosophy, why tell me this?"

"I don't want to see you manipulated." Edward rose so that they stood across from each other again, though this time there was much less space between them. "I want your choices to be your own, not made because someone is pushing your buttons to edge you toward their own preference."

"I've never shown approval for your lifestyle. How could Rosalie think that I would change my…" Bella stopped. Rosalie's words last night were running through her mind again. Bella hugged herself, face fallen. What had happened to Rosalie was the worst sort of nightmare, and it was one that Bella had nearly lived herself. Was she glad that those men had been stopped? All seven of them, Rosalie's five and Bella's own two? Yes. Then Bella remembered. Clifford Pendleton had just been released from jail.

Rubbing her arms against the increased chill in the air, Bella turned her back on the youthful vampire who was patiently waiting for her to gather her thoughts. For a brief moment, Bella hated Rosalie. Hated her for sharing her own experience, hated Edward for not stopping her speech. Which was almost exactly what Rosalie held over Edward's head: his inaction. She shook her head. Bella had been condemning Edward for his actions with Rosalie, now she was condemning him for his inaction with her. Bella would not be a hypocrite.

"I almost wish I had never known you," she said.

"You're angry with me." Edward's voice was sad.

"Not with you. Just angry, period." Bella looked over her shoulder. "I'm sorry, but you're the handiest target right now."

"I am sorry, Bella. I don't want to add to the pressure you are under."

Bella turned around and sighed, lowering her shoulders. "Truthfully, I wish the two of you could just leave me alone and I wouldn't have to think about any of this." In passive frustration, Bella waved her arms, snorting. "Take me home; go back to Rosalie and be her sidekick. Just leave me out of it."

Edward smiled a dazzling smile at her. "At least you think of me as a superhero.

"No." Bella shook her head at him. "No, Edward, you're the bad guy."

His grin was quickly lost. Edward stared at Bella, her pensive expression as she looked away into the trees. He'd brought her here, so determined to get alone with her to talk. He realized that he and Rosalie had another thing in common: they both wanted Bella's approval. He, himself, was desperate for it in fact.

Edward dropped to sitting on the ground again. "I'm not the bad guy, Bella," he said. "I'm not bent on killing for fun or even vengeance. I have had higher ambitions. If I'd been allowed to leave the country, I believe I could have stopped some of the Nazis."

"What?" Bella's head turned back toward him at this unexpected topic hop.

"The Nazis were gaining power just when Rosalie and I set out from the rest of the family. More and more we heard of the way things were going in Europe." Edward looked up at Bella. "When I had been human I'd intended to join the army once I turned eighteen. That would have been World War I. Twenty years later, when the situation in Europe became more volatile I saw my chance to finally serve."

Listening, Bella sat to his left, again on the wool coat, closing the distance between them.

"What Rosalie and I were doing was already something that helped, but here was an opportunity to help out a grander scale, to do something even more noble. I could use my ability to prevent success of Axis plots, to warn families before they were sent to concentration camps. I might even have gone after Hitler." Edward scoffed at himself. "I was naïve enough to think I could get away with it. I intended to leave for Germany and start there."

"What happened?" Bella asked.

"Rosalie disapproved. The war meant nothing to her; she was more caught up in preventing the human crimes, the violence against individual innocents. Soldiers didn't mean anything to her. Neither did the Jewish population."

Bella was appalled at this lack of humanity. She hadn't believed Rosalie to be that bad. Edward noticed her expression, and for once didn't need to be able to read her mind. Repeating the gesture she had made earlier, Edward touched the back of her hand. Bella was surprised by the brief shock, and pretended not to notice it.

"What I said sounds harsh. I'm sorry." He inclined his head toward hers. "It was more like Rosalie deliberately put blinders on, and believed the propaganda that nothing wrong was happening to the Jews. I did tell you that Rosalie has gotten better over the decades, Bella. I am certain that she regrets now the decisions she made then. At the time, however, she was too caught up in dealing with her own pain, in implementing her own mission, to bend. Saving the individual, especially a woman, was the most important thing to her. She wouldn't open to the idea of going to Europe, so I intended to leave without her.

"I told the rest of the family of my intentions. Only the four of them knew. Then the Volturi descended."

"The Volturi?" Bella asked, confused.

Edward gave her a half-smile. He found it interesting that in all of his talks with Bella Carlisle had never mentioned the Volturi. "The Volturi are the law-enforcers of our kind. They make sure our existence stays under the radar."

"How?"

"They kill anyone that becomes too conspicuous."

"Punishing with death, that sounds familiar," Bella muttered, and Edward gave no response. "So," Bella continued, regretting her words, "they caught up with you and Rosalie?"

"Yes. They sent two of their guard to watch us, specifically to make sure that I didn't cross the ocean. They'd been made aware of my intentions and deemed it too dangerous. I'd be interfering with human political events, human history, and that couldn't be allowed."

"Did they stop you otherwise?"

Edward briefly shook his head. "No. They had no problem with our killing humans – to them it was just as though we had a particular taste, even though we didn't actually feed off of them. They did, occasionally, though."

"Ugh." Bella's fingers rose in protest, the motion causing her arm to brush against his. "Couldn't you… find a way to get around them? By reading their minds?"

"It wasn't that simple. They're the equivalent of the royal guard. If I got away from them and headed to Europe, more would be sent after me, and there would be no mercy. The Volturi are based in Italy. It would have been like running away from the cub and into the lion's den. If I had any faith that I might avoid them long enough to accomplish something, I might have tried anyway, despite the punishment. However, the Volturi guards have several unique talents."

Edward was quiet for a moment. "Not being in Europe didn't keep me from being aware of what was happening over there: the Holocaust, air raids, cities occupied. The situation was growing more and more desperate long before our side joined and the atomic bomb was introduced. I couldn't do anything about it, like a child locked in his room."

He looked so sad, this amazingly beautiful boy sitting beside her, and at the same time, sympathetic. Guiltily, Bella realized that she had severely misjudged Edward. He might be a killer, but he had a heart – a good one. He may not be the "definition of good" like Carlisle, but in his own way Edward tried to do right for those around him. Without even thinking about it, Bella pressed a quick comforting kiss to Edward's cheek.

Mistake.

She had a split second of sensing Edward's face turn in towards her, his mouth touching hers. In one dizzying motion she was hardly aware of, Bella found herself lying on her back, Edward's fingers curling around her upper left arm. His torso loomed over hers, not touching and yet keeping her underneath him. His lips pressed and moved against hers in a sort of needy tribute.

Bella froze.

Edward's lips were chilled, and however urgently they pressed against hers, they were gentle, not fierce. Her mind went blank.

Neither noticed the sunshine briefly break through before it disappeared again.

_Oh, sweet Lord, what am I doing?_ Edward thought. Their entire time in the wintry meadow Bella had been moving gradually closer to him, not even aware of it. He was happy; they were actually meeting each other on an intellectual level. When her warm lips had touched his cheek, and he'd felt her breath, catching her scent, Edward had forgotten everything else but his attraction to her. Bella felt so soft beneath him, smelled so good. Yet her posture was stiff; she was completely taken by surprise. He propelled himself from her, landing four feet away in a crouch. Bella lay on the ground, not moving and staring up at the sky.

"Where did that come from?" she breathed.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have."

The only sound was Bella's breath moving in and out. She pushed herself up into a sitting position and looked over at Edward. He was still crouched on the ground, but not as though he was about to pounce again. More as though he was embarrassed with himself.

Bella's heart was pounding. Seeing Edward, bronze hair all askew, pale, perfect skin and lean muscles prominent from the position he was holding himself in – it really wasn't a bad thing to be looking at. Not to mention that he had just kissed her, and they were alone in the middle of some dead meadow miles away from town.

"Edward, why did you bring me here?"

"To talk. I really only brought you here to talk."

"Yes, but why? I understand that you wanted to speak to me in person, but why was it necessary to snatch me from the school parking lot and bring me so far away from everyone?"

"Um," Edward began, swallowing. "After the night that I… that we met, Carlisle and the rest of the family decided that I shouldn't be left alone with you."

"I see." Gradually, Bella's heart was slowing down. Very gradually. "So if Alice had seen you make the decision to get me alone, she would have prevented it? That's why you took me so suddenly?"

"Actually, no. After Carlisle obviously turned down my offer to drive you home last night, I decided that this was what I would have to do to get to talk to you. Alice knows that we're here."

"Alice," Bella muttered, remembering Alice telling Bella she knew with whom her first kiss would be. Alice had known all along that Edward would kiss her, and she'd advised Bella to listen to her heart. Right now, it was Bella's hormones doing the talking. Edward was suddenly very _very_ appealing. On the other hand, he was still Edward.

Edward could sense the change in Bella, the tensing of certain areas, the change in her always-delectable scent. Alice had told him, in this same place, that he could confuse things. In that moment Edward knew how very right she was. He could woo Bella and meet with some success. Yet Bella was capable of making Carlisle happy. They just needed the time, without Edward's interference. Hadn't he just told Bella that he wanted her to make her own choices, without being persuaded? He had to let her choose Carlisle, even though Edward could sense his own advantage. _I am on a very precarious road._

"Why did you kiss me?" Bella asked him, rising to her feet.

Edward smiled at her. "Would you understand what I meant if I said that I was only human?"

Bella snorted. "Maybe if you said that you were only male."

"Hormones? I suppose that's true, and a surprising truth, actually, but it's not just that." Edward paused. How to be honest and still present himself as unwilling to pursue her? "You are… appealing to me. Not just your scent. Your chocolate eyes, the way your forehead crinkles when you frown at me." When he heard her pulse quicken, Edward changed direction. "Your blocked thoughts. Being around you is frustrating and soothing all at once. It's also quite dangerous. I find the combination nearly irresistible."

_Dangerous is right_, Bella thought. _Don't forget that, Bella!_ Bella took a careful step back, then stopped herself. _Time to be honest._ "I don't mind you, Edward. I don't actively dislike you, and I don't want to tell you that I don't want to be friends. I do. But I'd just as soon not be feasted on either."

Edward's lips curved in mild amusement. "Interesting choice of words."

_God, he's beautiful_, Bella thought. As if in response, the sun broke free of the clouds.

It was the full effect. Prior to this, Bella had only seen snatches of sparkle on different areas of skin as light made it onto one of the Cullens inside their home. Now, on what was mostly a gray day, Edward's face, neck and hands sparkled and shined.

"Bella?" Edward questioned when she gave a small gasp. "Are you alright?" Surely she was used to the sight by now?

"I've never…" Bella answered his queries, both spoken and unspoken. "Not like this. Only hints of diamond skin."

Edward smiled at her, his features softened by affection and playfulness. "Allow me to show you, then."

Starting from the top, Edward undid the buttons of his shirt. Bella swallowed. More white flesh, glistening like crystal, became exposed, revealing Edward's perfect musculature. He stopped when he undid the lowest button, leaving his shirt to hang open.

Bella simply stared at him, eyes taking it in. Slowly she took a step closer, reaching out with her hand. "May I?"

Edward held perfectly still, then nodded. This was pushing things, and was potentially terribly wrong, but he couldn't deny Bella her mostly innocent request.

Her fingertips touched his clavicle, and lightly ran along what was visible of his collarbone.

Bella marveled at the satin smooth texture, cool as marble. Edward closed his eyes.

"You can't imagine how that feels," he sighed.

Carefully, Bella dropped her hand, and Edward opened his eyes again.

"It's the skin of a monster, Bella."

"No," she said. "It's not."

Somehow, they both knew that she was referring to his family, and that she included him among them.

She smiled at him. "Well. That's it then."

Edward nodded. Stepping back from her, he buttoned up his shirt, one at a time. Gradually, the strength of the sunlight waned, and the luminescence of Edward's skin slowly began to abate. "I'll take you back, now."

"I'd appreciate that."

They didn't really say anything more. Edward retrieved his coat. He had said his piece, and given Bella a lot to think about, more than he intended to. Expression closed, he held his arms out to Bella, and she stepped into them, allowing him to lift her. Soon they were running again.

As before, Bella kept her eyes shut. Rosalie, Clifford, Volturi, death- these were all things that she would think about later, once she was alone. Now, her thoughts were on Edward. More accurately, they were on Alice. Alice had asked her to let more of her romantic side loose, and to know her heart well enough to not make a mistake. She'd told Bella that her first kiss would not be with the same person as her first boyfriend. Well, Bella had just had her first kiss- and while she'd frozen, a part of her had just been about to melt and respond. Thankfully, Edward had pulled back before she'd done just that.

The thought of Edward as a boyfriend was laughable, actually. A human with a killer vampire, a plain-looking girl with a boy fit to be on the runway. That aside, it was Edward, whom Bella had come fairly close to detesting. Well, she didn't detest him now, but was more than happy to keep their relationship on a more platonic level. Romance just wouldn't factor in there, no matter how her hormones had reacted.

For now, though, Bella thought that she might as well enjoy it. Being held and carried by someone as beautiful as Edward wasn't going to happen every day. Eyes still closed, Bella turned her face into him.

Edward caught the scent of her slight arousal and gritted his teeth against his own body's reaction. _Self-control…_

The kiss had been a mistake. He'd introduced a different dynamic between them that wasn't supposed to be there. Well, it _was_ there, but it was supposed to remain ignored. Instead, he'd forced himself into acknowledging his attraction to her. _Damn it_, she was attracted to him, too. He would have been better off not knowing that. Not pursuing her would be easier if he didn't know that.

Setting Bella down by her truck in the now deserted parking lot, they exchanged an awkward good-bye. Bella didn't make eye contact with him, but then she paused and looked at him over her shoulder before climbing into her truck. Yes, kissing her had been a mistake, Edward thought as he watched her drive away. However, since it was to be the only intimacy they would share, he couldn't quite bring himself to regret it.

* * *

**A/N: Well, how about that? Anyone surprised?**

**Carlisle's a giving man, but soon it'll be time for him to reclaim this story.**

**Thanks so much to AlltheOtherNamesAreUsed for looking this chapter over for me, despite her very busy schedule this weekend. I got the chapter out today because she rocks. **

**Next Chapter... ****We'll see some Carlisle. (Yay!) We'll see some Charlie. And, uh-oh, ****Rosalie is going to get herself some one-on-one time with Bella. **


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: I'd like to throw all kinds of thanks to people this time around. First, to GLee68 and Zoya Zalan, who gave me honest criticism and helped me improve. I hope you both see something more pleasing in this chapter. :)**

**To RachelxMichelle, DecemberEclipse and AllTheOtherNamesAreUsed, who tweeted me with approval on April 23rd when I asked for opinions on including a towel in this chapter. **

**To DecemberEclipse, AllTheOtherNamesAreUsed and Nachos4Children who on Thursday helped talk me out of a block with my scene. **

**It's no wonder so many fanfic people are on Twitter.**

**Also, to everyone who nominated this story for the Sunflower Awards. Voting starts in May. Hey, it's May!**

**Finally, again to AllTheOtherNamesAreUsed. As a beta, I can look at someone else's story and easily see the weak areas and suggest how to fix it. Not so much with my own story. I needed someone to point out the obvious for me this time before I could get it working again. Thanks for being that person, and for last minute Twitter-betaing.**

* * *

~*~ Chapter Eighteen ~*~

Sitting at his desk, Carlisle shut the book he was reading and set it on the antique mahogany. He couldn't rid himself of the feeling that something was amiss. The leather in his chair creaked as he turned in it to look out the window behind him. It was daylight still, though the sunlight was weak in the late afternoon of winter. Nothing Carlisle saw in the trees remedied the sensation that he was missing something.

All of his family members were home; Bella would be at her father's house. Carlisle had hoped that she might come by after school so that he could see how she was doing after last night. Yet, given the circumstances, he wasn't surprised that she chose to spend the afternoon away. Picking up his cell phone, he dialed her house, but had no answer. Carlisle frowned. He was pretty certain that she did not have to work at the video store today. Returning the Blackberry to his hip, Carlisle closed his eyes and thought.

Rosalie, poor tenderhearted and damaged Rosalie. Carlisle could hear her in the computer room, tapping keys on her laptop. He had been excessively angry with her last night, and she had only partially deserved it. Carlisle had allowed his concern for everyone else in the room override what she was revealing about herself. The flashback had been legitimate; he had no doubt about that. If Rosalie was experiencing them now, then she probably had been all along, at least intermittently. Carlisle had returned from bringing Bella home to find Rosalie non-communicative, freezing them all out just as she had in her early days. He hoped to glean some answers from Edward soon, when the opportunity for a private talk arose.

Carlisle turned his head abruptly, attuning his focus to his hearing, the missing element suddenly occurring to him. Rosalie was in the computer room; Maggie and Esme were in their room working on Esme's latest restoration project; Alice and Jasper were in the living room. Carlisle could not hear Edward; he wasn't in the house.

Not sure how he missed noticing Edward leave, Carlisle picked up his Blackberry again, this time dialing Edward. It went straight to voicemail. Either Edward was out of signal range, or his phone was turned off. Realizing that Bella was currently unaccounted for, Carlisle swiftly rose and moved into the living room.

"Alice, where's Edward?" he asked without preamble.

Alice sat with Jasper on the slate blue upholstered couch. Her face had been turned towards him as he walked in, expecting his arrival. "Everything's fine, Carlisle." Her bell-like voice rang out with irrefutable clarity. "Edward is with Bella. They're having a much needed tête-à-tête."

"What do you mean by 'much-needed,' Alice?" Maggie asked, appearing in the living room. Esme was just behind her, bringing with her the faintly pleasant scent of stripping solution. The clicking of Rosalie on her computer still could be heard. Carlisle placed himself in the corresponding chair across from Alice.

"Their relationship with each other is still pretty tentative and unresolved. I don't like it; they should be getting along better than that. We've been crowding Bella when Edward's around. Edward simply had some things that he wanted to say to Bella one-on-one, and I thought he deserved the opportunity."

"You arranged this?" Carlisle asked softly.

"No," Alice shook her cropped hair. "I simply didn't prevent it. I would have, you know, if it wasn't safe."

"I suppose we have been a little unfair to Edward," Esme offered tentatively, moving to rest a hand on Carlisle's arm. "Not that we didn't need to be concerned. I hate to think that one mistake on Edward's part has made this family less sympathetic. You're sure that Bella is all right?"

"Yes," Alice answered easily, settling back into Jasper's arm behind her on the couch. He smiled and kissed the top of her head, causing Alice to snuggle in slightly closer before looking back at Carlisle. "They'll emerge from this as friends."

Carlisle closed his eyes briefly before nodding. Esme had a point. Being at opposition to Edward because of Bella made things divisive within the family, and that was not something he wished. Edward was not a child that needed to be watched, and he deserved the chance to make peace with Bella.

"I don't enjoy not trusting Edward. I feel better knowing that I can. Thank you, Alice." Standing, Carlisle left the living room and went back into his office, not noticing that four pairs of flecked gold eyes followed him.

Carlisle felt better as he stood behind his chair, back to it and facing out into the trees. As long as Bella was safe, Carlisle was fine. Yet, he didn't like not being able to contact her. Taking out his pristine Blackberry, Carlisle turned it over in his hands thoughtfully. Then he drew out a spare SIM card from his desk and sat down to make adjustments to his phone. Once Edward returned, Carlisle would go see Bella.

(~*~)

Bella entered her empty house and tried to shake off the pressure she felt closing in on her. They waited around the next thought bend: subjects she didn't want to explore, memories she didn't want to get into. Why was life suddenly so damn difficult? She'd been happy since Thanksgiving, not knowing that Edward had been crushing on her, that Rosalie wanted to mold her into some sort of Vengeance Queen groupie.

_"Would you like me to kill him for you?_"

Bella closed her eyes against the expression she could still see on Rosalie's face when she'd uttered those words. _Focus, Bella…_

Opening her eyes, Bella moved into the kitchen and explored the fridge for that night's dinner. She spent a few content moments juggling potential recipes before Edward crept into her thoughts again. She was surrounded by food, but it was his musk that traced into her nostrils, reminding her of his body above hers.

No, she wasn't going to go there. Settling on making a meat sauce, Bella pulled the package of ground beef out of the refrigerator and started retrieving the necessary vegetables and spices. She loved the smell of them: basil, oregano, even garlic. Yet they didn't erase that other trace.

Why did she think that she could still smell him? She stopped moving. "Edward," Bella said tentatively into the empty house. "You aren't here, are you?"

No answer.

Sighing, Bella shook her head at herself – and caught the whiff of Edward again. _What…?_

Then it occurred to her. The smell was coming from her clothes. She'd been pressed against him more than once; it must have transferred to her coat and jeans. _Why am I still wearing my jacket?_ Bella thought as she shrugged out of it, making her way to the laundry room. _I must really be distracted. _ Bella dumped her jacket into the hamper. It was time to change over to her winter coat, anyway.

In the kitchen again, Bella chopped, spiced, browned and stirred together a meat sauce before covering it and setting it on low to keep it warm for when Charlie came home, doing her best to stay as mindless as the task. Then, stripping her clothes off in her bedroom, Bella took a shower. Unfortunately, it didn't prove to be the escape from her thoughts that she hoped for. It successfully washed away Edward, but that left Rosalie on her mind: a montage of floating sentences as Bella washed.

_"One of your attackers has just been released from jail."_

_ "Didn't Cliff intend to rape our Bella that night?"_

_ "Would you like me to kill him for you?"_

Bella's eyes were squeezed tight, fighting tears as the sentences became paired with images, her own mixed with Rosalie's.

_"Anchoring with his other hand, Royce pulls back on my wrist. There is a loud snap and pain runs up my arm and into my eyes, blinding me. I scream."_

_His hand squeezed harder around her wrist. Bella let out an involuntary grunt of pain. "You're such a small thing, you know. Nice tiny wrists I can wrap my fingers around."_

_ "'Take it, Rose; you were made for this.'"_

_ The man in front of Bella moved closer, his eyes anticipating as he reached a hand up to cup her breast._

_ "Would you like me to kill him for you?"_

"Stop," Bella said aloud. She turned in the shower, letting the water pour onto her head. She breathed heavily for a couple of seconds, chest rising and falling. Rosalie understood her better than Bella'd thought. She turned the water off.

Bella had always believed in the system, never had any reason to question it. She'd never had any reason to feel personally involved in it before either. Imprisonment was still better than death, wasn't it? It protected the public from further crimes, at least temporarily, and allowed for the possibility of rehabilitation. Thus preventing crimes indefinitely. Death was just… cessation, the end of a life.

Bella wrapped the faded towel hanging on the hook around herself. Imprisonment was more than just prevention. It was being shut away, kept from actually living your own life. The words of _Saint Joan_ came vaguely back to Bella – something about the inhumanity of being shut away from the sun. Where was that book? Not knowing why it felt so urgent, Bella moved quickly into her bedroom, searching until she found her copy of George Bernard Shaw's play. It was a used copy, and Bella stopped rushing to run her fingers over the cover. She'd bought this book that night in Port Angeles.

Letting that go, Bella flipped through the pages until she found the quote that she was looking for. She read it to herself more than once, searching for whatever meaning had driven her to seek it out. "To shut me from the light of the sky and the sight of the fields and flowers; to chain my feet so that I can never again… climb the hills. ...If only I could still hear the wind in the trees… But without these things I cannot live."

Bella lowered the book. Imprisonment was a punishment. Even though today inmates were not denied the light of the sky, it was still a denial to live. Joan of Arc had chosen death. Right before giving this speech in the play, Joan had confessed to witchcraft, misled to believe that she'd be set free. The judges then sentenced her to be "set free" from the danger of punishment by fire, but still to remain in perpetual imprisonment for her sins against God. Joan of Arc had torn up her confession and chosen the fire.

Yet what did this mean to Bella? It said both that incarceration was a punishment and death was the better thing. Not to mention that Joan had been innocent, not a criminal at all. So was death better only if you were innocent? That didn't make sense. Edward and Rosalie never killed innocents; Bella knew that for certain from Carlisle.

Bella almost wished that she had Carlisle there to talk to right then. He'd easily help her interpret the duality she was getting from _Saint Joan_. Or maybe Bella was just projecting onto the quote, seeing conflicting meanings because she was feeling conflicted. Bella wasn't sure she wanted to discuss that yet, even with Carlisle. Rosalie's words, her own memories and Edward's warning had shaken her, and Bella wasn't sure what she believed anymore.

The knock on the door surprised her. Bella dropped the book and looked out her window, angling to see the driveway and road. There was a black Mercedes parked outside the house. Carlisle was here.

Bella rushed down the stairs and swung the door open widely, speaking as she did so. "Carlisle, what are you doing here?"

Carlisle stood on the doorstep, dressed in slacks and a black wool coat that was unzipped to reveal his button-down shirt. The undone collar was visible underneath his gray scarf. Even as Bella took this all in, she noticed that he was eying her much more intensely. Carlisle's eyes moved from her face, down her body and back up to make eye contact with her again. Surprise soon gave way to amusement, and he gave her a slow smile. "Did I arrive at a bad time?"

The chill of the air didn't keep Bella's cheeks from burning as she realized that she stood in front of Carlisle, wet and wearing only a pale red towel. "Oh, my God." She backed up, clutching the towel to her chest. "Come in, sit down. I'll be right back!" she called as she ran up the stairs again. Carlisle's soft laughter followed her up.

When she reemerged in the living room, clad in a new pair of jeans and layered tees, Carlisle was still grinning. "Do you answer the door like that for everyone, or was it a surprise reserved just for me?"

Bella plopped down next to him on the couch, her long wet hair bouncing with the motion. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that. I'm lucky it was you at the door."

"And not the pizza delivery boy?" Carlisle's smile shone, and it made Bella feel better than she had all day.

"No, I'm making dinner tonight. Wait, hold on." Bella rushed out again to stir the meat sauce. It had begun to stick a little to the bottom of the pan, since Bella had taken longer than she'd intended. Setting the spoon down again, Bella returned to her seat beside Carlisle on the couch. She sighed slowly as she looked at him, and he raised his hand to touch her cheek.

"How are you?" he asked.

Bella cast her eyes downward. "I don't really know." A lot had happened to her since last night, and while she knew that Carlisle was willing to be supportive, she just wasn't completely ready to go into all of it.

Carlisle's hand softly moved down her cheek to lift her chin. His eyes met hers. "You know I'm here for you whenever you need me."

"Yes." Bella smiled. "I was thinking about you, actually, right before you showed up. Do you know Bernard Shaw's _Saint Joan_?" Bella continued at Carlisle's nod, completely missing his initial glance at her wet hair. "He's written Joan choosing death over imprisonment as being less inhumane. That confuses me."

"Imprisonment was very different back then. It certainly was less humane than it is now. Joan as a historical personality was pretty extreme. It makes sense that she would choose death."

"It makes sense to me, too, which is why I'm confused." Bella shook her head, the weight settling on her shoulders again. "Death isn't supposed to be the better thing."

"Ah, I see," Carlisle said softly. Sliding closer to her on the couch, his right thigh just barely touching her left, Carlisle grasped Bella's hand. She had leaned her head forward, and some of her wet hair fell in front of her face. Carlisle stroked it back, and Bella turned her head to look at him. "Rosalie's story was intense last night, especially for you. I can't tell you how to feel, Bella. You have to figure that out yourself, and it may take some time."

"Am I allowed that time?" Breaking their thigh contact, Bella turned in toward him on the couch, pulling her leg underneath her. "Could Rosalie do something drastic while I wait? Could other people get hurt because I told Rosalie not to kill him?" Her hand gripped his, demanding answers. "I mean, it's not like I can call up the cops and say: that man tried to rape me nine months ago. I know who he is because my vampire best friend is clairvoyant. Even if I could say something, it would just be my word against his. It's either let Rosalie kill him or let him live to hurt someone else."

"That is not a burden for you to bear, Bella. Do not let Rosalie make you think that this man's life is in your hands."

"Isn't it? Wouldn't he be dead if I'd said yes? Doesn't he live now because I said no? How is that not in my hands?"

"Bella," Carlisle said, making her meet his eyes. "I have no doubt that Rosalie will continue to monitor him. She'll intervene before he hurts someone again."

"How can you trust that, Carlisle? You didn't even realize that's she's been frozen into a permanent case of Post-Traumatic Stress. I don't think that I can trust Rosalie to do or not do anything."

Carlisle let go of Bella, leaning away from her. "I admit I hadn't realized the extent of her issues, but I do know her character. Knowing how much she hurts shows me how strong her will is. I can trust her actions here. Even if I am responsible for damning her into this continuous circle of pain."

"What? Carlisle, no." Realizing her mistake, Bella placed her hands on either side of Carlisle's face. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean that at all." She took a slow breath and pressed her forehead against his. "Please don't think that. Please don't blame yourself."

Carlisle hesitated, bringing his hands up to covers hers. His warming hands held them in place for a moment before he lowered them and gave her a wry smile. "We're a couple of sad creatures, sitting here uselessly feeling blame. How about for tonight we don't hold ourselves accountable for Rosalie?"

Relieved, Bella smiled, and settled into the back of the couch. She leaned into Carlisle when he placed an arm behind her. "I can agree to that." Closing her eyes, Bella allowed herself to just let go, to feel nothing but Carlisle's soothing presence at her side.

There was a moment of comfortable silence before Carlisle spoke again. "I understand that you spent some time with Edward this afternoon."

"Yeah. I did." Bella looked up, remembering what Edward had said about not the family not wanting them alone together. "Is he in trouble? 'Cause I'm fine. It was fine; I'm fine." Bella's tongue almost tripped over itself in the rush to get the words out.

"Yes, I see that you are." There was a touch of laughter in Carlisle's voice and his brilliant eyes caught hers. "Are you asking if I grounded him?"

Bella's smile was a little cautious, and then became bright. "Did you tell him no piano for a week?"

"Send him to bed without supper?" Carlisle volleyed back with a chuckle.

"Take away his cell phone?"

"Interesting that you should bring that up." Leaning forward, Carlisle used his free left hand to unhook a Blackberry from his hip.

Bella's eyes widened slightly. "You didn't seriously take his phone away?"

"No," Carlisle smiled and held the PDA out to Bella. She took it hesitantly. "This is for you."

"For me?"

"Consider it an early Christmas present. It's already programmed with the numbers of everyone in my family, as well as your father's house and the video store. I'm afraid I didn't know the numbers for your friends Jessica and Angela, or I would have put them in, too."

"Wow. Um, thank you." Bella looked back and forth between the very expensive phone in her hands and Carlisle, obviously dumbfounded. "Why are you giving this to me now, and not at Christmas?"

"Would you rather wait?"

"No, I'm just curious."

Carlisle's eyes softened, and again he stroked back some hair that had fallen in front of Bella's face. "I was worried about you today. After I learned that you were with Edward this afternoon, I didn't like not being able to reach you. So the phone is yours, today, if you'll accept it."

Bella warmed inside, inexplicably pleased at this token of Carlisle's affection. "I will. Thank you." Bella leaned in to kiss Carlisle's cheek as she had done many times before, but then the memory of what had happened last time she made such a gesture flashed. She paused before her lips reached Carlisle, and felt him notice her hesitation. For a moment, their faces hovered close together. Bella could almost feel the delicious scent of him, a weaving of books, nighttime and mulled cider, touching her skin.

"Bella?"

Bella drew back sharply, pulling completely away from Carlisle. "Sorry. Um, I-"

She caught the hurt in his expression before he swiftly stood up and moved away from the couch, standing across the living room from her in less than a second. Bella was confused until she heard the sound of Charlie's car coming up the driveway. Awkwardly she sat up straight, her hands flying to her hair reflexively. The phone slipped and Bella fumbled to catch it before it hit the floor.

When Charlie walked in looking around, he saw Carlisle standing on one side of his living room, while Bella was on all fours in front of the couch. She sat up clutching something silver in her hand.

"Dr. Cullen," Charlie said. His eyes shifted between the two of them curiously.

"Chief Swan," Carlisle nodded at Bella's father. "Please forgive my unexpected appearance in your home. I was just dropping off an early Christmas present for Bella."

Bella looked up from her position on the floor. There was a contrast in Carlisle; he seemed a tad more formal. Was it only because her father was home, and Carlisle couldn't relax as easily when maintaining the façade of human doctor? Or did it have something to do with the hurt she'd seen before Charlie walked through the door? Bella's stomach wasn't quite easy.

"Christmas present?"

Carlisle gestured to the PDA in Bella's hand as she scrambled onto her feet. "The opportunity for an upgrade came along," Carlisle fibbed, "and I decided to add Bella onto my family plan. It's no great additional expense and I thought that she could use a cell phone. I'm sorry; I guess I should have asked your permission first. It was very thoughtless of me to not consider whether you thought it was appropriate."

Bella wanted to protest her independence, but remained quiet.

Charlie scratched the back of his head. "Bella's eighteen; she doesn't need my permission to have a cell phone." He gestured to Bella with his chin. "May I have a look at it?"

"Sure, Dad," Bella passed it to Charlie, who turned it over a few times.

"Pretty fancy," he said.

Carlisle smiled smoothly. "An indulgence on my part. Something we have a tendency to do in my family."

Charlie handed the phone back to his daughter. "Make sure I get the number off of that, Bells. Is something cooking?"

"Meat sauce."

"I'd best be on my way." Carlisle stepped forward, and Bella felt her untrustworthy stomach drop to her feet. "I have some paperwork to get done before my shift in the ER starts."

"You're welcome to stay for dinner, Dr. Cullen. Bella's not a bad cook."

"I have no doubt that she is an excellent cook, but thank you, not tonight," Carlisle refused graciously as he made his way to the door. "You have a good evening, Chief."

Carlisle turned back to Bella, and she faced him expectantly. "Bella, since you're reading _Saint Joan_ right now, you might want to look over the author's preface. I think you'll find it interesting."

Bella bobbed her head. "Okay. Thanks." Inwardly, Bella chastised herself for being disappointed. _What exactly were you hoping for him to say?_

With a nod of acknowledgement to both Charlie and Bella, Carlisle left.

Hands on his back, Charlie looked at Bella. She looked back at him. There was a beat before she started laughing lightly. "C'mon, Dad, lets go boil some pasta."

Following her into the kitchen, Charlie kept the mood light. "I'll say it again, you're not taking him to the prom, kid."

When dinner was over, Bella looked over George Bernard Shaw's preface. "There are no villains in the piece. Crime, like disease, is not interesting: it is something to be done away with by general consent and that is all about it. It is what men do at their best, with good intentions, and what normal men and women find they must and will do in spite of their intentions, that really concern us."

Bella did a lot of thinking before and after she turned out her light.

(~*~)

Once Charlie was certain that Bella had gone to bed for the night, he got up and went into his closet. Moving aside some boxes on the shelf, Charlie got down a small box wrapped in seasonal red and green. Undoing the paper and gently tossing it into his trashcan, Charlie set the simple Motorola phone on his desk. Out of a drawer he dug out the receipt and set it on top of the box.

* * *

**A/N: Let's hear it for Charlie! There's a O/S contest going on called Strictly Charlie that is still accepting admissions. Check it out! :)**

**So, a question to you readers. I love that you're all so excited when I update and make sure that I know it. So my question is what is it about the world of "Moonlit" that makes you so happy to step back into it? What makes it work for you? :)**

**Thank you so very much for reading.**

**Next Chapter... let's find out a little bit more about what was going on in Carlisle and Bella's heads... and the bumped Rosalie/Bella scene will take place.**


	19. Chapter 19

~*~ Chapter Nineteen ~*~

The days were shorter in December, and unlike when he had arrived at Bella's house, there were no remaining vestiges of daylight by the time Carlisle left on his way to the hospital. His arrival on her doorstep had certainly brought about a surprise. Carlisle had never really thought of Bella as a child. She was young and she was a girl, but to him she'd never been a young girl. All the same, it had been something of a jolt when he saw her standing in the doorway of the small yellow house wearing nothing but a red towel. Her hair was down and wet, leaving a trail of water drops on her shoulders. Carlisle had watched as one of those drops, refracting prisms of the early moonlight that few could see, moved its way down to her clavicle. His eyes had followed the path and moved beyond, tracing the delicately pale and smooth skin to the towel line.

The towel had obviously slipped since she'd first wrapped it around herself. It was loose around her torso and waist, moving with the rise and fall of her chest. Her hidden figure was obvious, and easily declared by the shapely legs revealed from mid-thigh down. Even her bare feet were adorable. Journeying back up to make eye contact with Bella, Carlisle had seen the moment the realization of her attire hit her. He had smiled at the beginnings of shock and embarrassment on Bella's face. "Did I arrive at a bad time?"

It was a little surprising that she hadn't fallen in her haste to get up the stairs to change.

In the solitude of his car, Carlisle laughed again under his breath. Bella was still Bella, despite the fact that he was noticing her figure. Plenty of teenage girls were physically developed, and Bella, at eighteen, was definitely no exception. Carlisle wondered when she would start dating, and he lost his smile. Bella, dating… she'd have to be with the family less, and that was a thought Carlisle didn't like.

It was selfish of him. As it was, he felt bad for having stepped on Charlie's parental toes by gifting Bella the phone without talking to him first. He hadn't stopped to think about Bella's primary family, even if it consisted of just her father. The fact that her family was so small made Charlie all the more important, particularly since Bella would be going to college soon. Carlisle would have more time with her then than Charlie would.

The thought startled him, or more pointedly, the assumption behind the thought did. Alice and Jasper had taken on the roles of teenagers in order to enable the family to stay in one place longer. Ostensibly the same age as Bella, they, too, would supposedly be going to college when she did, while the family's home base was to remain in Forks for about another three years. At what point had he envisioned that they would all actually follow Bella to her college of choice? Yet, that was exactly what Carlisle wanted to do.

More than an hour early for his shift, Carlisle parked his Mercedes and made his way into his office. It was fairly small compared to the one he had at home, yet it was serviceable for his professional needs. The hospital budget had supplied the desk and chairs, as well as the standard issue filing cabinets. Carlisle began to review patient files.

He'd have to talk with Esme and Maggie, as well as Alice and Jasper. It would mean uprooting the family earlier than planned. Yet staying with Bella would be worth it. There would never again be another Bella in his life, _their_ lives. If the family agreed, hopefully Bella would, too. Somehow, Carlisle had little doubt that she would.

Yet, something had happened on her father's couch tonight. She'd held herself back. Bella had been about to kiss his cheek, but she'd paused then pulled away. What had made her draw away from him like that? It was a silly thing to feel wounded over, but Carlisle had been hurt. He could reason it away now as simply an awkward moment. Though prior to this evening he and Bella hadn't had any awkward moments.

The phone on his desk rang unexpectedly. Carlisle picked it up, wondering if Grace had noticed him come in and he was being asked into the ER. The voice on the other end, however, was not that of a middle-aged woman.

"We've already sent in our applications," chimed Alice. "Jasper and I are completely on board with actually attending college this time around. Jazz is looking forward to earning a degree in history."

Carlisle smiled into the phone. "Saw this one coming, did you?"

"Yes, and I made sure we got our applications in on time before you had to bribe any schools to let us in. I know the money doesn't matter," Alice interrupted before Carlisle could speak. "However the morality of it is an issue. How do you think Bella would feel knowing that we'd bought our way into joining her?"

"Point taken. Which schools? Are there any that will reject Bella because of her father's limited income?"

"Don't worry about it, Carlisle. Just be prepared to look for hospital openings in New England once Bella decides which of the many acceptance letters she'll receive means the most to her."

Sometimes it was still unsettling to have Alice's precognition a part of their lives. He had just barely had this realization, and now it was nearly set that they'd be relocating in a few months. "How do Esme and Maggie feel about this?"

"Bella means something to all of us, Carlisle. We want to continue to be a part of her life."

"Let's just hope she wants us there." Not many young women had their friends' entire families move to a new state to stick with them through college. "I don't want to smother her, Alice."

"You couldn't, Carlisle."

Carlisle thought again of Bella pulling back from him. "I'm not so sure," he said sadly.

(~*~)

It was a slow Thursday night at the video store; no customers milled the aisles of DVDs and videotapes. The walls around Bella and the front door were plastered with posters of the latest movie releases, making the building feel a little less lonely. Behind the counter was the employees' TV, one of those small TV/VCR combos that practically didn't exist anymore. In a dark kind of mood, Bella had _Interview with the Vampire_ playing. Finishing her Snickers, Bella crumpled up the brown wrapper and tossed it into the trash. Not particularly paying attention to the screen, Bella frowned at the movie posters. What was with the number four? _Fantastic Four, The 40-Year-Old Virgin, Four Brothers…_

It was a long night, giving Bella plenty of time to think as she sorted videos. She had a lot to think about. First, Carlisle, and what had happened on the couch. It had been nothing really. Just a moment when she'd been about to kiss Carlisle and suddenly, because of what had happened with Edward, it hadn't felt platonic anymore. As though kissing Carlisle's cheek, _any_ guy's cheek, would open up the door to something less innocent. Bella couldn't deny that since that day she'd been horny. There was a tangible sensuality brewing under the surface of her skin, and Alice's previous reminder that she should start dating finally served to put a mirror in front of her face. Bella wanted to date.

The fact that she would have a sexual awakening just when she'd been about to give Carlisle a kiss was horribly embarrassing. No wonder he'd leaped across the room. Bella chided herself for being self-deprecating. Carlisle had leaped across the room because Charlie had been about to arrive.

Carlisle had been hurt that she hadn't kissed him; Bella had seen that. How was she supposed to explain? Sorry, Carlisle, I must still be a little aroused from my first kiss, bad timing? Bella closed her eyes and shook her head at herself. The only thing she could do was to be as friendly as usual the next time she saw him - return to the status quo, and _definitely_ kiss his cheek. Bella tapped her hand on the countertop with the happy finality of a decision made. She had herself under control now. There'd be no more physical inclinations for a casual kiss to lead to something more.

The deeply buried thought that Bella wouldn't acknowledge was that, for a second, sharing a more-than-platonic kiss with Carlisle hadn't seemed like a bad thing.

Unfortunately, resolving her thoughts of awkwardness with Carlisle meant that she couldn't hide from the more difficult subjects.

One of the men who had attacked her was free. In not allowing herself to think about him and his friend all these months, she hadn't thought to care about whether or not they were out there. When she'd learned a month ago that they were both in jail she'd felt a sense of relief. Now, even though Alonzo was still behind bars, that relief was mostly gone and she was left with this awful weight of responsibility.

Remembering what had been said the other night, this guy had gotten a taste for sexual violence and had been ready to escalate. But Alice and Jasper had scared him, and he'd spent the last several months in penitentiary. Perhaps that was enough to forestall any further tendencies towards the type of violence Clifford Pendleton had learned at the hands of Alonzo Calderas Wallace. Maybe the guy wasn't a threat anymore.

"_The guy's a creep."_

Could she make that assumption? Could she take the risk he wouldn't harm another girl out there?

"_Didn't Cliff intend to rape our Bella that night?"_

No, it was too mild to blanket that thought under the term "harm." It wouldn't be just a mugging, or a sore wrist.

"_I don't want him touching me, invading my space. Panic makes me struggle harder to get away."_

There were other girls out there who might experience fear and pain at his hands. A fear that could last if they were lucky enough to get away, and a pain that might never go away if they weren't. No, Bella couldn't assume that Clifford Pendleton wasn't a threat anymore. He needed to be stopped, somehow.

"_I have no problem with the death of a human."_

"_Would you like me to kill him for you?"_

Bella shook her head. She was starting to scare herself. Grabbing her Newton's Outfitters water bottle, Bella guzzled deep. Where had her thoughts been leading her? Inevitably, to a certain blonde vampire. Lowering the bottle, Bella wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

Rosalie Hale: beauty, dark purposes… and hurt. Carlisle had told her that Rosalie was always hurting, and underneath her every façade was the fact that she cared deeply. Bella was willing to believe that; she could even see it when she reviewed Rosalie's behavior. Rosalie was not a villain; she had good intentions – and like Shaw's preface said, it was what Rosalie did do and would do that really concerned Bella. Bella knew that Rosalie had an agenda with her, and she couldn't help but be a little creeped out by that. Particularly since she felt it working.

In all these years, why hadn't Rosalie found a way to cope? From her conversations with Carlisle, Bella knew that it was only the vampire body that froze; the mind was ever expanding. So w_hy_ was Rosalie frozen in this mindset of anger and vengeance? It didn't make sense. _Seventy-two years…_

Of being beaten and raped in your mind every day. Bella really couldn't forget that, as much as part of her wanted to. _Every single day. _Stomach tight, Bella tried to comprehend experiencing it …it was just unfathomable. Instead of wondering why Rosalie hadn't dealt with her past and moved on, Bella should be wondering how she managed to not go mad.

Maybe Rosalie had, a little bit. Maybe that was why she kept on killing people – it was her madness coming through, her anger. Her "monster".

That was what she and Edward had in common, after all. Their monsters within were satiated by the kill. Edward had run away from Rosalie's thoughts because he identified too well with her enjoyment. Rosalie had tempted him in, advising that she could help him learn to control his bloodlust – to not feed. Rosalie had never fed on human blood, but Bella was willing to bet that she did feed in a different way. Rosalie fed on the violence, on the punishment, on being the one who was in control, instead of the one dominated. It probably fostered her rage even as it helped her to cope: a vicious cycle for Rosalie.

Edward had said he was helping her condition, that she was healthier because he was there. Rosalie claimed to be helping Edward learn control. Who was really keeping whom in check? Why did Edward and Rosalie seem to have the hardest time coping with their natures, when they – according to Edward- both abhorred being vampires? Then again, maybe the last question held its own answer. That was another cycle.

Bella's brain hurt from trying to understand it. It was just so… convoluted and messed up.

Thankfully, Conner and Austin, boys she knew from school, came in right then. Conner reminded Bella of a cuter version of Mike. That probably wasn't fair, but he had the same hair, height and build. Austin was taller, a bit more muscled, with curly brown hair that was so dark it was almost black. Both boys chatted Bella up as they looked around the store. "Hey, what's with the number four?" It felt good to talk about more mundane things like school, and laugh as Austin tried to convince Conner to buy his kid brother's broken down motorcycle. She grinned at both of them as they left, taking a DVD of _The 40-Year-Old Virgin _with them. She got back a wink and a smile from each. Now _that_ was nice.

Bella rolled her shoulders, enjoying the lighter mood. The clock above the door read that it was nearly nine p.m. Soon enough Bella would be able to shut things down and close up. Sighing, Bella shifted on her stool and turned back to the video. Within seconds the sound of the door opening drew her attention, and she was startled to see the tall blonde who came in.

"Rosalie, hi."

"Hello, Bella." Rosalie smiled as she strolled confidently up to the counter, tall and formidable. Bella began to feel herself shrink.

"Renting a movie?" Bella asked even though she was fairly certain that was not why Rosalie was here.

"No, I just thought I'd come see you." Rosalie tilted her head as though trying to look at Bella's television. "Brad Pitt fan?"

"Um, I guess." Bella stopped the play, and hit rewind. Might as well get it ready to be put back. "What did you want to see me about?"

"Do I need a reason?" Rosalie flicked back a strand of hair that had fallen forward.

"Do you ever do anything without one?" Bella blurted, and then wished she'd bitten her tongue. Rosalie's face lost her smile. In fact, she looked a little hurt.

Neither of them said anything, and Rosalie cast her gaze around the store. "_Serenity_'s coming out on video next week? I'll have to rent that. I missed it in the theaters and the show was entertaining."

"You've seen _Firefly_?"

"The first episode I saw was 'Bushwacked.' Caught the show whenever I could after that."

Bella paled a little at the implications of that, but then the TV caused a distraction by spitting out the videotape. Bella turned away from Rosalie to put it back.

"Do you want some help closing up?" Rosalie asked.

"Uh, no. That's okay. It's not much, I just need to lock up, close out the drawer."

"It's not a problem."

It was just like Brad Pitt and Christian Slater. Bella never even saw Rosalie move. Suddenly the lights in the back of the store were turned off, leaving only Bella and Rosalie lit at the counter. Only Rosalie was standing about a foot to the right of where she had just been. Bella couldn't help it; she jumped.

"Okay, Superwoman." Bella blinked her wide eyes and started cashing out. Rosalie turned her back against the counter and looked around again. As Bella packaged the cash to put in the safe, she noticed that Rosalie seemed to keep her gaze on the door and out the windows, almost like a guard.

"Um, Rosalie?" Bella hesitated once the vampire's gaze was on her. The new thought that had come made her heart speed up just a bit. "You're not expecting someone, are you? I mean – I thought Alice said he wouldn't come looking for me."

"I just thought you might want some company, Bella. You're alone. It's night. And we both know that he is out there."

Bella didn't know what to say, so she said nothing. Depositing the night's paperwork and money into the safe, Bella gathered her coat and bag, stuffing the black and white water bottle inside. Together they walked to the door, Bella switching to security lights. "I wasn't thinking about it until now."

"I know you weren't. Bella, you might be in your own town, where your father is the chief of the police, but don't get too comfortable with your own safety."

Bella felt like slamming the glass door shut as she and Rosalie exited, but she restrained herself – slightly. The bells on the Christmas wreath jangled as Bella pulled the door tight and turned the deadbolt. The video store was located on 2nd Avenue, among the old buildings and businesses in the center of town. Most were closed this late at night. Bella, though, certainly had never had a reason to fear for her safety getting to her truck. For heaven's sake, Carlisle was less than a mile away at the hospital, and the police station was a mile in the other direction. "I don't think I have anything to worry about."

"I know the thought of Clifford Pendleton out there makes you nervous."

"Not really," Bella lied.

"Then why did you think I was here because of him?"

Bella faced Rosalie. "Why _are_ you here?"

"Why won't you admit that you're afraid?"

Once again, Rosalie nailed it. Bella hated that Rosalie could see that in her, because she _was_ afraid. A small piece of her had been afraid ever since March, but she'd kept it buried deep until Edward and Rosalie had dug it up three weeks earlier. Why did it seem that Rosalie was always doing this to her? Bella rallied – somewhat. "What purpose would that serve?"

"A healthy sense of fear keeps you safe."

The axiom actually didn't seem so far out there. If Bella hadn't been so fearless as to wander Port Angeles on her own, she wouldn't have found herself at the mercy of those two men. "Do you really think that?"

"I think it helps," Rosalie answered. "It's not a solution to preventing crime, but it helps, Bella." Her caramel gold eyes were steady on Bella's face. There was no deception in her, only an acknowledgment of how the world worked. Bella found herself admitting the truth to Rosalie.

"You're right. I am afraid that he's out there. I'm afraid of you, too."

"Me?" Rosalie was surprised. "Why? I want to protect you, Bella. I am on your side."

"Yeah, and you're a killer."

Rosalie frowned at Bella. "That movie you were watching tonight. Lestat says, 'God kills indiscriminately, and so shall we.' I'm not like that. I am very careful and kill only those who deserve it. I kill to save lives, not destroy them."

"I know." Bella felt abashed. "I don't think of you as evil, Rosalie. I-"

"Right now there is someone out there who very nearly murdered. The only reason why he didn't, the only reason why you are alive unmolested is that we were there to stop him. I have to be the one to stop him again."

Bella's eyes closed.

_As if taking a cue, the man in front of Bella moved closer, his eyes anticipating as he reached a hand up to cup her breast._

"_You were just in his path the moment Alonzo led him to it."_

"_Clifford Pendleton only had a record for petty theft because that's mostly what his crime life consisted of prior to meeting Alonzo Calderas. Even then, he didn't rape their victim."_

"He's not with Alonzo anymore." Bella's eyes opened and met Rosalie's gaze. "The real threat is locked up. Clifford might not take that path anymore. He might make different choices."

"Are you willing to take that chance?"

Bella hesitated.

"You wouldn't want someone else to be hurt, Bella." Rosalie's words were soft. She stepped closer to Bella. "Let what happened to you be the last time. It could end with you."

Bella closed her eyes again.

"He got a taste for it, Bella. With the waitress before you."

Rosalie's voice was closer.

"He didn't get to touch her, to violate her. He wanted more."

Her lips were chapping from the cold, and Bella could feel the fog of her shallow breaths curling against them.

"He would have taken it with you," Rosalie said with quiet sadness.

Bella was rooted to the spot, her legs heavy and unmoving.

"He will take it with someone else."

Loose strands of hair brushed Bella's cheek from Rosalie's expelled breath.

"I could kill him for you." Ever so softly. "It would be so easy. He could never come after you. He could never hurt anyone again."

Bella could almost see it. A place where she could safely walk down the street and not have the fear that this man was out there, free and roaming, living under her skin. A place where bad things didn't happen, wouldn't happen, because one of the men who caused them was gone. She was tempted. She was very tempted by no longer having to live with that fear.

With the realization came a kind of fury Bella had never felt before.

"Stop it!" Bella shouted, flinging her arms out, creating space between herself and Rosalie. Rosalie took an inadvertent step backwards. The kitten had claws. "What the hell do you think you are doing? Whispering hate into my ear like some sort of devil on my shoulder."

Bella whirled to face the stunned Rosalie. Each word came out of Bella clear and confident. "I am not like you. I don't feel a need to punish. I have absolutely no desire to harm people. You shouldn't try to make me."

Bella stood before Rosalie, feet solidly underneath her. There was no confusion in her face, no eyes that darted. Her back was straight as she unblinkingly held eye contact with the disturbed vampire.

"I just don't want you to be hurt," Rosalie said.

"Then stop hurting me. Regardless of your intentions, Rosalie, what you did to recruit Edward, what you do to other humans, what you did to me the other night – you are trying to deal with your pain by hurting others. I see that plain as day, just as I see that it's not working or you wouldn't keep doing it."

"That is not …" Rosalie began, but trailed off.

Bella sighed, letting go of all the tension anger had built in her. "I'm not a therapist; I don't know how to help you. I am not going to try to change you. I can only tell you what I see." Bella rolled her lips. "I don't want you to hurt either."

"My hurt is none of your concern. Clearly." There was silence as Rosalie stared at Bella. Then she cast her eyes down. It made Bella inexplicably sad.

"Y'know, you are a little like Lestat. Edward is your Louis, and you wanted me for your Claudia. What I wonder if you fully realize, Rosalie, is that you're surrounded by a family that loves you, whom you come back to."

"I know they love me, but they don't understand me. So how can I be anything but alone?"

"You've got Edward."

"Edward may read my mind, but he doesn't comprehend what it means to _be _a victim." Rosalie shook her head as she looked at Bella, giving a soft snort. "I am still alone."

"What about Esme?"

"Esme's heart is healed."

Bella was suddenly standing alone. For a second or two Bella stared at the empty space on the sidewalk where Rosalie had just stood. Perhaps she had been too harsh? She could have been more understanding, particularly since, for the first time, Bella understood what motivated Rosalie. She had felt it, too. She just hadn't wanted it; it wasn't her.

She turned away and walked toward where she'd parked her truck, her boots making quiet footfalls on the concrete. The sky, the sidewalk and the reflection of security lights in the windows of closed businesses around her were all varying shades of gray. Bella really wasn't quite sure what had happened between her and Rosalie. All she knew was that she had made up her mind.

Bella climbed into her truck. Once her hands were on the wheel she took a deep breath, her shoulders falling on the exhale. There was a little tremble in her fingers, but not one of nervousness. Bella felt confidence in knowing now who she was and what she believed in. It might not have been the change that Rosalie had hoped to affect in her, but, like all young women, Bella's choices were her own, whether Rosalie understood them or not. Shifting the vehicle into gear she went looking for the one person above all others that would understand how she was feeling, who could give her support and comfort. Bella went to find Carlisle.

(~*~)

Clifford Pendleton walked out of the liquor store, arm wrapped around the brown paper bag that held his 12-pack. Heading down the street, he walked past a couple of young women. Turning his head to check out their asses, Cliff whistled at them. One just kept on walking, while the other turned her head and rolled her eyes.

"Oh, yeah, you want it," Cliff whispered under his breath. Then he turned and kept walking. He had no idea that someone else heard him.

Unseen, and not far away, Rosalie's eyes narrowed as she watched. This man was exactly the type that she took the most pleasure in destroying. He was a weak, insignificant man who used his low opinion of women to stroke his own ego. Rosalie's lips tightened together. He actually _aspired_ to be a rapist. He deserved to be squashed like the bug under a rock he was. Soon he would be alone. She could snatch him then, make it quick, so that he didn't suffer. Moving steadily, stealthily, Rosalie was there as Cliff walked the sidewalks. As the commercial buildings shifted to the residential, and more trees dotted the neighborhood, she kept herself far enough away to remain unseen by human eyes. In a swift movement, Rosalie passed ahead of Clifford, into a tall pine that grew across from a run-down apartment building.

The night was perfect. The building only held four apartments, and right now none of the tenants were in. No neighbors would be around to pose any danger of discovery. Rosalie could grab him in his own apartment, and fake an accident no one would question. This was _opportunity_.

Clifford came closer, moving in on his apartment. He was whistling a familiar tune, and Rosalie frowned until she was able to place it. It was "Baby One More Time" by Britney Spears. Rosalie rolled her eyes. Crouching closer to the tree, she debated her next move. She could wait until he was safely inside his apartment, and then gain access through his window. She'd be inside before he even realized that she was there. Even better, she'd wait until his door was open and enter with him. That she could do quickly, so that he'd only feel the breeze of her passing. Yet, Rosalie would rather snatch him and drag him inside with her. Give him those extra seconds of fear. Venom pooling in her mouth, Rosalie wondered if, in that instant, he would recognize her.

She hadn't let him see her the last time they'd come into contact, so he wouldn't exactly be able to recognize her, but he'd remember. Yes, she thought that he would remember the sensation of being prey. He'd feel the fear that once before he'd created himself. That combination of recognition and fear was an expression Rosalie wouldn't mind seeing again. It had been decades since she'd first seen it, on the face of the sodomizing Beau. A terrifying smile spread Rosalie's lips.

Then it faltered. All expression disappeared from her face as though someone had wiped it clear. Across the way, Clifford slipped a hand into his front jeans pocket and pulled out a small key ring. Shortly it would be time for Rosalie to move.

She stayed still.

"Damn you, Bella," Rosalie whispered. The tree branch became vacant, swaying slightly from the release of the weight that had been on it. After a few seconds, the silence of the night was broken by the hoot of an owl.

Jangling his keys, Cliff unlocked his apartment door and shuffled himself awkwardly inside, unharmed and oblivious.

* * *

**A/N: Believe it or not, I've been around. First, I added some between-the-dialogue moments to the couch scene with Carlisle, Bella and later Charlie in the last chapter. On May 6th, I posted an outtake to this story that occurs between Carlisle leaving the house, and Bella's night at the video store. On May 27th I put up Carlisle's scene from this chapter up as a preview on my blog. On June 15th I posted a lemon outtake to "One Weekend." So I've put a lot out there for you guys. :)**

**Thanks to my support team: AllTheOtherNamesAreUsed (beta extraordinaire), ZoyaZalan, Nachos4Children, and ItHappened. Even DecemberLenoir, BewitchingScience and the amazing SerendipitousMC were able to help with a little advice on Twitter.**

**Next chapter. . . we'll be accelerating the plot quite a bit. Edward and Rosalie leave Forks, college plans (Carlisle intends to follow Bella, remember), prom... maybe a surprise or two...**


	20. Chapter 20

~*~ Chapter Twenty ~*~

In the days that followed, Rosalie was not to be approached. No attempts to speak to her about her past made by any member of the family reached success. When she was the topic at hand, Rosalie held herself aloof.

"I just hate to see her bottling all that up inside," Esme said one wintry evening at the Cullen house. The weather was actually a little sketchy for Bella to be out, but she hadn't been able to resist stopping in for an hour or so. Christmas was right around the corner and Bella simply wanted to spend some time with them.

"She has an outlet," Bella pointed out. "It's just not a healthy one."

"You're not about to get up on the soapbox again, are you, Bella?" Edward asked.

"No, Edward." Bella made a face at him. "I'm talking about Rosalie channeling all her issues into violence."

"She lets her anger rule her too much," Carlisle said. "It's a powerful emotion that too easily misleads." He sat in the armchair across the couch from Edward and Bella, Jasper to his left, Maggie and Esme on his right. It was a comfortable sort of family gathering in the living room, the heavy snow just visible falling against the trees out the window.

"Anger isn't entirely without merit, Carlisle. I'd say it was feeling angry that allowed me to stand up to Rosalie."

Bella had gone right to Carlisle at the hospital the night of Rosalie's unexpected visit to the video store, and confided in him everything that had occurred. He had listened patiently, despite the conflicting emotions Bella had seen cross his face when she described how Rosalie played on her fears. After the story was told, Carlisle had pulled her into a hug and said with relief, "I'm proud of you, Bella."

The two of them had talked longer, discussing possible ways to help Rosalie, but their conversation had gotten curtailed when Diana announced an ambulance incoming from a car accident. The discussion, however, continued to be ongoing with the whole Cullen family, though the results were unfortunately futile. There wasn't much any of them could do to help Rosalie if she didn't want to be helped. Yet, it was because each one of them cared that they still continued to bring it up, whether or not it resulted in new ideas to break Rosalie's stonewalling.

Rosalie was absent from the house. Alice had taken her out for a hunt.

Carlisle was looking at Bella, and she couldn't help but admire yet again how beautiful his face became when he smiled. "You actually sound like Rosalie when you say that. She and I have argued this before, neither one of us seeing eye to eye."

"What, you don't think that anger has its benefits?" Bella asked him.

"I call it a dangerous emotion, nothing more."

"But not one that's useful? Is it even possible for there to be a useless emotion?" Bella turned her head. "I ask the expert among us."

Jasper's extended legs were within reach of Bella's own, and she kicked his foot with her right, getting a retaliatory nudge back in return.

"No, I don't think that there are any useless emotions."

"Except, perhaps, for worry," Edward input.

"'Worry'?" Bella looked at him with a puzzled frown.

"Edward's referring to the adage of the Dalai Lama," Carlisle explained.

"Essentially, Bella, it goes like this," Maggie said, "if you have a problem and you can do something about it, then why worry? If you can't fix the problem, then again, there is no help in worrying."

Bella pondered that for a second. "That actually makes a lot of sense."

"That's why he's the Dalai Lama."

Carlisle was smiling again. Before Bella could lose her thought, she turned to Jasper. "But is worrying even an emotion?"

"I never said it was," Jasper answered.

"What, you're saying it isn't?" Edward asked his brother.

"It's a state of mind. That's more your territory than mine."

"Isn't worrying the same thing as anxiety, as apprehension? One can _feel _apprehensive."

"You're just arguing semantics. Apprehension is too cerebral for emotion. Emotions are in your gut, not your head. Though I admit that one can affect the other."

"Kids," Carlisle intervened, "I feel like you're in college all over again."

"It's very amusing." Esme took her hand away from her mouth, revealing that she had been laughing.

"Bella, I think that you should be getting home before we get too much more snow."

"I suppose you're right." Bella stretched out her arms and legs while remaining on the couch. Feeling everyone's eyes on her, Bella thought that sometimes it could be a little awkward being the only human. None of their muscles got stiff from sitting down for an extended period of time.

"Why don't you let me drive you home, Bella?" Carlisle offered, and she looked over to make eye contact with him. There was that damn smile again.

"Are you saying you don't think I can handle driving in the snow?"

"I'm saying let's not give anyone cause to worry-"

"Ha-ha."

"-Including your father."

"After all, Bella, all your previous driving experience was in Phoenix." Esme said kindly. "Why not let Carlisle drive you home?"

Bella looked out the window at the falling snow. "Maybe you're right." She pointed a finger at Carlisle. "Let's not make a habit out of this, though."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

Carlisle rose and Bella noticed the shape of his toned arms and chest beneath his shirt. The fluidity of motion in his thighs as he walked away seemed muscular and fit. Had he been physically active as a human, or did the venom sculpt the body? By comparison both Jasper and Edward had sculpted physiques. Though Edward's body was somewhat less developed. After all, physically, he was only seventeen years old. Not that teenage boys didn't have good bodies. Austin, for instance, had a great body. He'd been on her mind off and on since he and Conner stopped in at the video store.

Getting up and wishing everyone a good night, Bella followed Carlisle to the front door. Having already donned his scarf and coat, Carlisle waited patiently as Bella gathered her things from the coat rack.

"Ready?" he asked, and opening the door, he held it open in front of him with one arm.

Bella passed underneath it, her side brushing slightly against Carlisle's body. She didn't notice, however, as her thoughts were still passively dwelling on the human Austin.

(~*~)

Christmas came and went fairly quickly. It had surprised Bella when she got up on Christmas morning to not only find that Charlie had cooked breakfast, but also under their tree were gifts from the Cullens in addition to Bella's and Charlie's gifts to each other. Her belly satisfyingly heavy with pancakes, Bella opened Charlie's gift first.

"Oh, wow."

It was an iPod nano. Bella had no idea that Charlie had even heard of an iPod.

Bella made a face when she opened Alice's gift. It was a small box containing a pair of dangling silver earrings. Propped up against the delicate pressed metal was a small card that read "For Prom."

"I'm surprised she didn't buy the dress, too."

"Alice is probably waiting for May, better dresses," Charlie answered. At Bella's look, Charlie made his face go carefully innocent. "I know nothing."

Turning her head, Bella murmured something under her breath that sounded suspiciously like "Conspiracy."

(~*~)

Edward and Rosalie left Forks the day after Christmas. They stopped at Bella's to say good-bye first. The farewell was brief, and Bella got the impression that Rosalie was anxious to get going.

"I made this for you." Edward held out a CD jewel case that was wrapped in a red ribbon. "It's my piano music, some of them original compositions."

"Thank you." Bella said sincerely, taking the gift from him.

"I didn't get you anything," Rosalie said, causing Bella to look up at her. "But thank you for the movie."

Bella had left her gifts at the Cullens' house, and even though she had gotten George Winston sheet music for Edward and _Serenity_ for Rosalie, she hadn't really expected anything from the two of them. "You're welcome."

"I hope to see you again the next time we come by," Edward said sincerely.

"Do you know when that will be?"

Edward shrugged. "Father's Day?"

"Six months is a long time."

"Not to us," Rosalie input, then she shrugged, too. "Maybe we'll be back sooner. Alice and Jasper are graduating this year, after all."

"So is Bella," Edward reminded Rosalie.

"Right."

"Well, I'll be here until September, anyway." For a passing moment, the thought gave Bella some disquiet, but Edward distracted her before she could chase down the reason why.

"We'll see you again soon, then." Smiling, Edward cautiously reached out to touch her hand. Bella let him clasp it. She'd grown rather fond of Edward over the last couple of weeks.

"Good-bye, Bella," Rosalie said a little stiffly. Bella wondered if Edward was the only reason that they had stopped by at all, but then she was taken by surprise when Rosalie stepped forward and gave her hug.

Bella hugged her back, feeling a rise of both worry and affection. "Take care of yourself, Rosalie."

To make things a little more awkward, Charlie came home as Edward and Rosalie went out the door. Getting out of his cruiser, which he'd had to park on the side of the road, Charlie frowned at the two vampires exiting his house. Bella was right behind them.

"Hi, Dad. This is, um, Edward and his sister Rosalie."

"Pleased to meet you, sir." Edward held out his hand.

Charlie slowly accepted the shake. "Edward," Charlie said. "You went to school with Alice and Jasper."

Edward was frowning at Charlie, too, but easily went along with the cover story Bella had forgotten she ever gave. "Yes, Rosalie and I were visiting for Christmas. We're on our way home now."

"And wanted to see Bella first before you left town?"

"Exactly, sir." Edward nodded.

"I suppose you have parents that were fine with you spending Christmas with someone else?"

"Our parents are no longer living, Chief Swan," Rosalie said.

"We're emancipated," Edward added hastily.

"Really?" Charlie looked between the two of them. "I'd like to know more about that, but I won't keep you if you're wanting to get on the road."

"Thank you, sir." Edward broke eye contact and looked over at Bella. "Bye, again, Bella."

"Bye."

"Drive safely now, Edward." Charlie inclined his head to Rosalie. "Miss Masen."

There was a brief flare in Rosalie's eyes before she nodded back at Charlie. Bella stifled a chuckle by coughing into her hand. Oh, she bet Rosalie hadn't liked that _at all_. Catching her eye, Edward winked at Bella as he slid into the driver's seat of his Volvo. Within a minute, the two vampires had gone.

"Great, just great," Rosalie ranted as they drove away. "Now I'm going to have to pretend to be Rosalie _Masen_ if I ever want to come back to this town."

Edward let loose his laughter. It echoed loudly and full of mirth inside the vehicle. "That was pretty smooth of the chief."

Rosalie glanced at him sharply. "What does that mean?"

"He was wary of us."

"Why?"

"I couldn't say." Edward was frowning again.

"You can't read his thoughts, either?" Rosalie's eyes were wide with surprise.

"Not precisely. He's not silent like Bella, but he isn't clear, either. There were no exact words, just the tone of his thoughts: some wariness paired with good will."

"Hmm. We were strangers parked in his driveway, exiting his house." Rosalie's eyebrows drew together as she thought. "I don't think we need to worry about him, Edward."

"Yes, Miss Masen," was Edward's response.

Standing outside the front door of his house, Charlie ushered his daughter in after the Volvo had pulled away. "Come on, Bells, it's too cold to be standing outside and you don't have a jacket on."

"Aren't you going to repark your car?" Bella asked as they made their way in.

"No need to," Charlie answered, hanging up his coat and gun. "Must be good friends of Alice's, those two."

"They are. I think Carlisle and Esme are like parents to them."

"The Cullens seem to pick up a lot of strays." Charlie sat on the couch, kicking his shoes off and putting his feet up.

"They bond pretty strongly."

"So I've noticed."

Bella was feeling a little uncomfortable again. Her gaze on the floor, she turned to go into the kitchen, but Charlie called her back.

"Bella." He looked right at her. "You're not a stray."

She hesitated a second before smiling with a shrug. "Thanks, Dad."

Grabbing the remote, Charlie turned to the television and clicked it on. "Grab me a beer, would ya?"

Bella snorted. "Right, because how could I be a stray when I fetch so well." Obediently, she got him a Rainier out of the fridge.

"Good girl," Charlie teased in a monotone, never taking his eyes off the sports channel as he cracked the can open.

"Woof." Bella replied before going up to her room.

(~*~)

Even though it felt weird that Edward and Rosalie were no longer around, life kept moving forward. Bella spent New Year's Eve with the Cullens. Charlie felt it was his duty to be _on_ duty during the latest evening of the year. It was natural enough for Bella to stay up all night with those who couldn't sleep.

The only problem: how do you party when the people around you don't eat or drink, and you yourself don't like to dance?

"Are you serious?" Bella asked Alice that late afternoon, eyeing the dining room table with mistrust. On the far end of it was a mountain of board games, many of which Bella had never even heard of.

"Completely," Alice answered. "You and Carlisle can suspend the intellectual conversations for one evening and relax with the rest of us. Esme's putting her restorations on hold; Jasper and I don't need to do any schoolwork, and Maggie's agreed to keep us all honest."

"Do you and Jasper _ever_ do any schoolwork?"

"Of course we do, Bella. We can't get good grades without putting in the work." Jasper answered as he carried in another armful of games.

Bella glared at the blue box on top. "I'm going to have to veto Trivial Pursuit." Raising her hand, she pointed a finger, "And any card games that require speed."

"Naturally, we won't do anything that puts you at too much of a disadvantage," Maggie said.

"Carlisle won't be home for another hour. Shall we start with a game of chance while we wait?" Esme suggested.

"Monopoly?"

"Monopoly."

"Monopoly it is." Alice shifted it out from the bottom of the pile and began to set up the board.

The game did take about an hour. It was fun, though Bella twice had to ask the vampires to slow down their turns, as they could move too fast for her to see. Esme also surprised a chuckle out of Bella when after being landed on, she told Bella to "Forks it over." By the time Carlisle arrived home, Jasper was winning the game, with only Bella stubbornly holding out with hotels on her Mediterranean and Baltic Avenues.

He laughed when he entered the dining room and saw them all. "It's going to be a game night?"

"Apparently we're forbidden from having conversation," Bella said.

"I didn't say that! I just said that you are both going to relax with us," Alice defended.

"I can't say that I am opposed. It's too bad I didn't get a game of chess in with Edward before he left." Carlisle unbuttoned the collar of his shirt. "I'm going to go change, wait for me before starting a new game."

"We haven't finished this one yet," Bella called after him. Checking the dice she had rolled before Carlisle's interruption, she moved her shoe and then groaned. "Alright, game over, I have no money left."

She pointed a finger at Jasper. "Winner picks up."

"Then what's the point of winning?"

"Winner also gets to pick the next game," Maggie added.

Carlisle returned to the dining room wearing black chinos and a gray V-neck sweater. It made Bella blink.

"What are you wearing?"

Carlisle glanced down at his clothes. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

"Nothing." _Nothing at all. Hello!_ Bella had always considered Carlisle to be good-looking and his body especially fit. Yet, in this outfit he suddenly seemed sexy and much more approachable. "I've just never seen you dressed so casually. You look… younger."

Carlisle pulled out a chair and sat beside Bella, grinning. "I'm just relaxing, as ordered."

With a laugh, Bella tilted her head and turned back to Jasper. "What's next?"

Hands on the edge of the table, Jasper leaned back in his chair, tilting it onto its hind legs. "Poker."

Bella sighed; she was the only one at the table who would have any tells. "I'm screwed."

The poker game was briefly paused when Alice brought out Bella's dinner, which she had insisted on cooking herself. Very proudly, she set the fancy platter before Bella. Overflowing the dish were red pointy legs. Two beady little eyes were facing her.

Bella's mouth open. "What is this?"

"Dungeness crab, cleaned and cracked."

"You cooked me crab?"

Alice frowned. "Your father's a fisherman. I thought you liked seafood."

"I do, just, wow, Alice, you must have gone through a lot of effort."

"Not too much effort. They're in season, after all," Maggie said.

"That makes it a New Year's tradition in this area," Alice added, setting down six seafood forks.

"Oh, no." Maggie stared at the utensils.

Esme laughed. "I'm in."

"I'm sure it's delicious." Maggie narrowed her eyes at her mate.

"Try some," Alice encouraged. "But Bella first."

Bella chuckled and shook her head disbelievingly. "You guys are honestly going to eat some of this, too?"

In response, Carlisle reached out and snatched a leg. He split off the shell on one end, exposing the meat beneath. Using a fork, he speared a morsel and then held it up, making eye contact with Bella. Never looking away, Carlisle dipped it leisurely into the ramekin of seasoned mayo and cream cheese, then popped it into his mouth, his lips pulling the meat off the fork. Shining eyes unblinkingly on Bella, Carlisle slowly chewed and swallowed. Unable to take the long stare, the corners of Bella's mouth quivered as her face cracked under the pressure.

Carlisle raised an eyebrow at her and silently held out his fork. Taking it from him, Bella got her face under control. She took a portion of his meat, and dipped it in the cream. She swirled it around a little to cover as much territory as possible. Lifting the laden fork, Bella made eye contact with Carlisle, just as he had done to her. She slowly put it into her mouth, first licking one side, removing the white cream, and then putting it all in. In genuine reaction, her eyes closed, rolling behind the lids. "Mmm, this is so good."

"I actually want some of that now," Maggie said into the silence. Jasper grabbed the next leg.

"Alice," Bella said, wiping the corner of her mouth and then licking her thumb. "What did you put in this dip?"

"Cream cheese, mayonnaise, garlic powder, onion, some salt and pepper," Alice answered, puzzled.

"That's it? That can't be it; there was something else. I've never tasted anything like it." Bella dipped another piece of crabmeat and tasted. "Huh, it's gone now."

"What was it?"

"I don't know. It was exotic and delicious. It really stood out against the rest of the ingredients." Bella quickly tried more, and sighed. "It's gone."

"Still tastes like dirt to me," Jasper said, passing the rest of his crab to Alice and grabbing one of the cloth napkins she'd set out.

Eventually they migrated into the living room. Bella's back was getting stiff from the extended time in the chairs, and as a couple hours had passed since the crab dinner, she had the munchies. Alice and Esme had stuffed the kitchen with more junk food than Bella could possibly eat. When she entered the living room, Carlisle took the bowl of trail mix she was carrying off her hands, allowing her to easily take a swig out of her bottled water.

"Most would be drinking something a little harder tonight."

"Well, thanks, Carlisle, but I think I'll pass on the animal blood for tonight."

Maggie chuckled. "Someone's feeling sassy."

"Let's make her use it," Jasper grinned.

And Bella was dragged into a performance game, which surprisingly was more of a leveler than expected. One game after another, they all made fools of themselves, and Bella laughed so often her energy stayed up into the night. At nine o'clock they tuned in to watch the ball drop on Times Square in New York City, which was a bit odd for Bella to do an hour earlier than she was used to.

"It's sad to see Dick Clark passing the mantle on, but I'm sure he deserves the rest," Esme said.

"I don't think I've heard of Ryan Seacrest," Carlisle commented.

"Carlisle, you're lucky you've heard of Dick Clark."

"I take exception to that, Maggie. I'm not always buried in my books."

When it approached midnight, Esme again turned on the television and they counted down together. At "Happy New Year!" a surprise arranged by Alice exploded through the living room: crackers went off, sparklers that Bella had thought were just decorations lit up with loud hisses, and multi-colored confetti fell from the ceiling reflecting the bright spitting light.

The couples kissed, and Carlisle put his arm around Bella. She tilted her face to look up at him and met his smile with her own. _Carlisle_, she thought, _deserves a New Year's kiss_. She was ready to give in to the impulse.

Bella's Blackberry rang against her hip; it was Charlie.

"Happy New Year, Bells."

"Happy New Year, Dad. Staying out of trouble?"

"Trying to, I hear the cops are out tonight. Is that Auld Lang Syne?"

Everyone but Carlisle was singing. Bella slid out from under his arm so that he wouldn't feel hindered by her phone conversation. "Yeah, they're singing."

Charlie snorted. "I thought I was the only one in Forks who still remembered the words. What time you coming home?"

"Oh, let her stay the night, please!" Alice shouted at Charlie.

Charlie laughed. "If you want to, tell Alice that's fine with me. I know you're safe there."

"Um, sure. Thanks, Dad."

"Gotta go, kid. Happy New Year."

When Bella got off the phone, Carlisle was on his, talking with Edward and Rosalie. Bella wondered what all her friends were doing at that moment. Were any of them asleep? Were Jake and Billy celebrating just the two of them or with others on the reservation? Bella thought Ben was spending the evening with Angela's family. But what of Mike and Jessica? What was Austin up to right then?

Alice sidled up to Bella and put an arm around her shoulders. "I'm glad you're with us tonight, Bella."

Bella returned the gesture by easily sliding an arm around her waist. "Me, too. Impressive surprise, by the way. You went to a lot of work for tonight. Ah!"

Bella jumped when a delayed cracker went off just behind her.

"Oh, it was nothing." Alice grinned, and they both laughed.

Jasper approached the pair of them, and slightly bowed to Alice. "May I have this dance, ma'am?"

Someone had switched from the TV to music, and Maggie and Esme were already swinging. Alice put her hand in Jasper's and, with a wink at Bella, they both joined the women in the middle of the room. Bella wasn't quite sure she recognized the tune, but her foot was subconsciously tapping to the rhythm. It was rather spectacular, actually, watching the four of them twist, kick and jump, somehow never coming into contact with the furniture, like a dancing obstacle course they could easily master. When Carlisle approached her, she laughed and shook her head at him. "Oh, no. Not a chance am I going to be doing that." She pointed at the group with her chin.

"You could if you wanted," Carlisle grinned at her slyly, "but I won't pressure you into enjoying yourself."

"Thanks, I always enjoy being the wet blanket."

"Nothing of the sort." Carlisle grasped her hand and held it in his. "I have something for you." Turning her hand over, he placed a small blue velvet box within it.

"What is this?"

"A Christmas present."

"Um, Carlisle, this really isn't necessary. You already got me something."

"Yes, but that was an impulsive gift based on worry. This one may also be impulsive, as I thought of you as soon as I saw it, but it's not as impersonal and therefore carries more affection."

"The practical gift is the only one I need-" Bella cut off when Carlisle's hands gently closed around hers and the box.

"Please open it. You don't have to accept it, if you choose not to. Like I said, it made me think of you, and I wanted to buy it."

_So much for not pressuring me,_ Bella thought, but his compromise was reasonable. When Carlisle let go, Bella opened the box. _He better not have spent too much money._

Standing out against the blue was a silver ring with two swans. Each swan had its beak pressed into a wing. At the top of the ring the backs of the necks met, not entwined, but just beginning to touch.

"It's beautiful."

Bella took the ring out of the box and slid it onto the forefinger of her right hand.

Looking into Carlisle's warm golden eyes, Bella said, "Thank you." This time, without any hesitation, she reached up and kissed his cheek, pressing her lips briefly into his cool flesh.

His arms brought her in closer and he gave her a hug in return. "I'm glad you like it."

Stepping away, Bella couldn't help but smile at Carlisle. He genuinely did look relaxed and happy, which made his sexiness all the more tangible. Bella really needed to regulate her thoughts. There was nothing wrong with acknowledging that all the vampires were attractive, and the men held their own sex appeal. Yet, if she wasn't careful, her noticing might become a little too noticeable. Talk about awkward.

In an unexpected move, Carlisle grabbed her hand and smoothly swung her around into a dip. The song ended as he let her up. "There that was easy, wasn't it?"

Laughing, Bella clung to his shoulders. "Just don't try to flip me over your shoulders, please."

"If he won't, I will." Bella squealed as Jasper grabbed her and did just that. Yet, she landed on her feet, no stumbling, and soon had each hand grabbed by Maggie and Esme. Between them, it was sheer self-defense to move her feet. Bella would never say that she learned to swing dance, but giving herself over as partners interchanged, she definitely learned to step out of the way, even to a sort of rhythm. The music became easier, slower and turned down. Exhausted, Bella plopped onto the couch and Esme handed over her bottle of water.

Carlisle sat beside her. "Now don't tell me you didn't enjoy yourself."

"I can posit that she did." Jasper said, sitting across from them.

Bella tucked herself under Carlisle's arm. "I always enjoy myself when I'm over here. Tonight may have been a little different, but I had fun."

She let out a big yawn, causing a couple chuckles.

Bella's eyelids drooped as she and Carlisle reclined on the couch, arms around each other. Her arm hugging the front of his torso, she laid her head against his chest. Gradually her body settled in against his as conversation carried on around her. The soothing sound of his voice rumbling in his chest against her ear encouraged her contentment. She yawned and sleepily wriggled her face closer, the soft silk cotton of his shirt caressing her cheek. "You smell good," she said softly as she fell asleep.

Carlisle looked down at the top of her head with a gentle and warm smile. He placed a soft kiss on her hair. It was going to be a happy new year.

(~*~)

Time flew after the holiday. Bella's life was busier and it just kept moving forward. Bella was able to hold onto her job at the video store, and juggle it with her final load of classes before graduation. She had less spare time, but tried to see the Cullens at least once a week. Bella wore the swan ring Carlisle had given her so often it was second nature to slip it on in the mornings. Back at school, all the seniors seemed to be socializing with each other more. Conner and Austin, previously only occasional lunch mates, were spending a lot more time at the table with Jessica and crew. Bella wasn't exactly complaining. She often found Austin looking at her, though to be fair, Austin caught her looking a couple times, too.

It was a Wednesday in February when Austin followed Bella out of the cafeteria.

"Hey, Bella!"

With a quick look of surprise at Alice and Jasper beside her, Bella turned around. "Yeah?"

"We'll catch up with you later, Bella," Alice said, and with her arm in Jasper's, they walked ahead.

Austin gave them a quick glance, before stuffing his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. "You doing anything Friday night?"

Bella felt her heart accelerate. To hide it, she tugged on her shoulder strap and looked briefly at the floor. "Um, no." Fridays she didn't work so she usually found someone to hang out with at the last minute, Angela and Jessica, or a visit to the Cullen house.

"Want to catch a movie?"

Austin's eyes were so blue. Bella didn't think that she'd been up close enough to notice before.

Austin took a step back. "It's okay if you don't. I, uh –"

"No," Bella said quickly, realizing she'd been quiet too long. "A movie would be great. What's playing?"

Beaming just a little, Austin smiled with a short laugh, causing a lock of his curly dark hair to fall forward. "I have no idea."

"Oh, well," and Bella smiled, too, "why don't we look tonight and talk about it at lunch tomorrow?"

"Or in English. We have second period together."

"Or in English," Bella agreed. That settled, she walked on to class, casting a smile over her shoulder at him.

They ended up seeing Final Destination 3. It wouldn't have been Bella's first choice, but truthfully, the pickings were pretty slim. Austin had picked her up at the house, and thankfully Charlie wasn't home to make that uncomfortable. He drove an old Nissan, which he said he bought off his Dad just this year. He was affable and friendly, and Bella was able to enjoy the drive as they talked. About an hour into the movie, Austin reached out to grab her hand and Bella let it happen. His palms were a little rough, and Bella wondered in what way he worked with his hands outside of school. After the movie, she'd have to ask if he had a job.

Thankfully, the movie was over not too long after that. They swung through the Taco Bell drive-thru on the way out, and ate during the drive back to Forks from Port Angeles.

"So, what do you do outside school?" Bella asked, sipping her soda.

"I work at B&P Auto Repair part-time."

"You're a mechanic?"

"Sort of," Austin answered with a shrug.

"I have a friend down at La Push, Jake, who works with cars. Just built himself his first one, actually."

"That's pretty impressive," Austin nodded, and let out a burp. "Oh, um, excuse me."

Bella laughed. "Not a problem. It was kind of nice to hear, actually." No one ever burped at the Cullen house, and for a second Austin had reminded her of Charlie. "Think you'll keep on working there through the summer?"

"At B & P? Sure, I plan on getting promoted to full-time after I graduate, work my way up to management."

"Oh, you're not going to college?"

"Nope."

For some reason this saddened Bella, but to each his own.

"I take it you're going. Do you know where yet?"

Bella shook her head as she sipped through the straw. "I didn't do early decision, and acceptance letters don't come until May."

"Do you know what you'll be studying?"

"Actually, not for sure. I applied as a Lit major, though."

"Books, huh? _James and the Giant Peach_."

"What?"

"There never has been and never will be a better book than _James and the Giant Peach_."

He was being charming, and Bella couldn't help but laugh. "Roald Dahl? That's a children's book."

"So?" Austin cocked his head and gave her a grin. "Kids' books are great. Look at how big the Harry Potter stuff is."

Bella shook her head, still smiling. "I won't deny it."

When they reached her house, Austin hopped out of his car and opened the car door for her. The cruiser was parked in the driveway, and Bella noticed Austin eye it.

"Any chance your father is waiting with his gun?" he asked Bella, a dimple bringing out the humor.

"No," Bella shook her head. "But he might be looking through the window."

"Then I guess I'll say goodnight here." Austin started backing up at a jog. He pointed his fingers at her, then his thumbs at himself. "You've got my number; I've got yours. I'll see you on Monday."

"Goodnight," Bella called after him, and she let herself into the house.

Charlie was waiting for her. "How'd it go?"

"We agreed that the movie sucked."

"Anything with a 3 at the end of the title usually does."

"Got me there," Bella said as she headed up the stairs. "At least I finally got some."

"Got some what? Bella, got some _what?_"

"Popcorn!" Came the shout down the stairs before the bathroom door shut.

Charlie eyed the gun hanging with his coat on the rack, and then shook his head. Perhaps another beer before bed would be a good idea.

When Bella slipped into bed the waiting text message from Austin made her grin: What R we going 2 do next Fri?

(~*~)

Bella woke the next morning wanting to embrace the free time she had before her Saturday evening shift at the video store. She decided to spend the day homework-free, and instead of dragging out her books, she drove down to LaPush to hang out with Jake. Maybe she could persuade him to take her for a drive in his Rabbit, which he had completed a couple weeks earlier. Bella had only gotten a look at the car once.

It was in the garage, covered with a tarp, when Bella pulled up in the truck. Before Bella could make it all the way up on the entrance ramp to knock on the door, the door opened. Billy wheeled himself out.

"Now's not a good time, Bella."

"Oh." Bella stopped short. "Is everything okay?"

"Jake has mono. He's lying down right now."

"Is there anything I can do? I can come back with some soup."

"No, it's best you just stay away for now. Let him recover on his own."

Those words sounded more like they were coming from a bodyguard than a worried father, though Bella couldn't explain why it felt that way. "Is he really that bad?" she asked, sympathetically.

"He is. I'll let him know you came by."

"Okay," Bella tucked her hands into her coat pockets, her right hand curling around the keys it found there. "Will you ask Jake to call me when he feels better?"

"I'll pass the message along. Good-bye, Bella, and thank you for coming."

"Bye," Bella said hesitantly. She turned and walked down the ramp again, looking back once to see Billy shut the door.

(~*~)

After two days of not hearing anything, Bella called Jake. Billy answered and said that Jacob was still too sick to come to the phone, so it was best that she steered clear for now. He promised again to let Jake know she wanted to hear from him.

After another two days, Bella called again, but no one answered. She disconnected the call on her Blackberry, missing the satisfaction of being able to settle a phone roughly back into its cradle. Cell still in her hand, Bella began to pick at her lip with her thumb.

Charlie had talked to Billy recently, but Bella hadn't thought to ask him if he knew anything more about Jacob. She'd have to make a point of it when she got home that afternoon. How sick was Jake? Was something else going on? Things definitely felt amiss and Bella just _knew_ that there was more to the situation than Jake having mono. If she didn't talk to him soon, she'd drive down and bang on the door until she got to see him.

Too lost in thought to be paying attention to the conversation around her, Bella heard Carlisle's voice break through.

"What?" Bella lifted her head, hand falling away from her face. "What about the Quileutes? They actually came to the hospital? Did you see Jake?"

Carlisle, Esme and Alice blinked at her. Bella was at the Cullen house for one of her Wednesday afternoon visits, and after settling down with everyone in the living room, she had just let the conversation flow around her.

"Bella, what are you talking about?" Carlisle asked.

"What did you just say? About an overflow of Quileutes in the hospital?"

"I was talking about a patient that nearly overdosed on Quaaludes."

"Quaaludes?"

"Yes, I was making a connection to a case I had in 1971."

"Oh. Sorry." Bella looked down, running her fingers aimlessly over her Blackberry.

Carlisle frowned at her. "Bella, is there something worrying you about your friend Jacob Black?"

"Why would you ask that? Do you know something?"

"Call it a hunch." Carlisle chuckled softly. "I don't know anything until you tell me."

"What is it that's worrying you, Bella?" Esme asked.

"I haven't been able to talk to Jake in days. Billy says that he has mono, but something feels wrong. Now when I call no one picks up at all."

"Have you tried going to see them?"

"That's how I originally found out. The only other time I've talked to Billy he told me to stay away, like he did then."

"How long has Jacob been sick?" Carlisle queried.

Bella raised and dropped her shoulders. "Friday night, I guess? I talked to him before my date, but when I drove over Saturday morning Billy wouldn't let me in."

"You were on a date Friday?" Carlisle asked, startled away from the topic.

Bella had switched from playing with her phone to worrying her ring. "Yeah, I saw a movie with a friend: Austin. Carlisle, how long does it take to recover from mono?"

Carlisle's gaze stayed for a moment on Bella's fingers. "It can vary from person to person. It's not unusual for it to take a couple of weeks."

Bella sat upright, looking earnestly at him. "Can it get serious? _Should_ he be seen by the hospital?"

"It's not very likely, Bella. I'm sure Jacob will be fine; just give it a little time."

Bella slouched again. "I suppose you're right," she agreed. "I'd better get going."

After Bella left, Carlisle turned to Alice. "Do you see anything?"

Alice shook her head, allowing her face to show the shock she felt. "I tried, but I don't."

"Does this mean Jacob Black has…" Esme didn't finish.

"We don't know that." Again, Carlisle frowned. "Like Bella, we just have to give it some time. Hopefully she will hear from him soon. I'd hate to think that they're deliberately avoiding her."

"You mean because of us, not because of their secret, don't you, Carlisle?" Alice looked both sad and concerned.

"Let's just wait and see."

(~*~)

Bella called the Blacks again the next day. Both Carlisle and Charlie had told her to back off, but she just couldn't make herself at peace with the feeling that something was wrong. Again, she received no answer on the other line.

She was bothered enough that she asked Angela about it during their double date with Austin and Ben at the town pizza parlor on Friday.

"It sucks having mono," Angela said kindly. "He'll be fine, but it does take a little while to get over."

"It's been a week. I don't want to be insensitive, and I know mono makes you tired, but does it keep you from spending 40 seconds on the phone to tell someone you're alright?"

"Is this the guy who built his own car?" Austin asked.

"Yeah."

"You two must be pretty close then, huh?"

"Definitely. We spent practically the whole summer together last year."

Angela widened her eyes at Bella as though trying to send her a signal, but Bella had no idea what she was trying to say.

"He give you that, too?" With his chin, Austin pointed at the silver ring Bella was twisting round and round her finger.

"What, my ring? No, Carlisle gave this to me for Christmas."

Ben pulled the slice of pizza he'd just bitten into out of his mouth quickly. "Sorry," he said to the table. "Hot."

"You mean Dr. Cullen?" Austin asked, his voice a little high.

"Yeah," Bella answered dismissively and sipped her soda. She focused her attention back on Angela and missed Austin mouth her one-word-answer to his plate. "So you think I should just wait some more to hear from Jake?" she asked Angela.

Angela was looking at her with a bit of a wince and a patient smile. "I think you need to give him time to recover." Her eyes flicked across the table.

Bella turned back to her date, and Austin was smiling again. "Your friend must have weakened his immune system, being out in the cold working on that car. If I had a project like that, I probably would have done the same. What about you, Ben?"

Austin kept up the pleasant chatter right until he dropped Bella off at her house. He wished her a good night inside the car, and it wasn't until he'd already driven away that Bella noticed he didn't open the door for her this time.

(~*~)

Saturday morning Bella turned off her cell phone, having once again gotten no answer at the Blacks. So Bella considered her options.

The first was let it be. Jacob was sick and needed time to recover. At this point, though, it had been a week almost down to the hour.

So her second option was to drive down and bang on the door. The problem with this was that it was disrespectful to Billy and Jake, especially if everything was as presented.

Yet it just seemed so secretive. Billy hadn't let her even reach the door. Jake wasn't calling her back. Now no one was answering the phone at all. At least Charlie got through to Billy during the week.

On impulse, Bella picked up the house phone and dialed the number again.

"Hello," Jake answered.

"Jake?"

"Bella?" Jake sounded surprised.

"Yeah, how are you? I've been trying to reach you since last Saturday."

"I know. Sorry about that." Only Jake didn't sound sorry. He sounded evasive. Worse than that, he sounded _fine_.

"Are you feeling better?" Bella asked slowly.

"Not really. How have you been? Still hanging around with the Cullens?"

"Yes, and my other friends. I've been missing one in particular a lot lately. What gives, Jake? Why didn't you call me back?"

"I had other stuff to do." Jake's voice was quiet.

"Well, tell me about it. I can come over and we can catch up. I'll bring soup, even."

"I don't think that's a good idea, Bella. Listen, I'm sorry, but I've got to go. I'll call you again some other time, okay?"

"Will you tell me what's going on?"

"I'll call you." With a click, Jake was gone.

(~*~)

Three and a half weeks and a hand brace later, Bella realized she had to let it go. She'd given Jake another week to call her, and then she'd driven out to see him. She'd pulled up to see a bunch of strange shirtless guys standing in a group outside, and had been surprised to recognize one of the Mr. America wannabes as Jacob. He'd filled out, grown taller, cut his hair and looked nothing like the Jacob Black she knew. She'd slammed her truck door when she got out, demanding to know what was going on.

The other Quileutes had backed away to give her and Jake space. She'd angrily accused him of doing drugs and, noticing the weird tattoos, of being part of a gang. This had not been the best approach. It had only pissed Jake off and he'd lit into her about her nosiness, blindness and general lack of appreciating what was for her own good.

Bella's hands tightened on her steering wheel when she'd remembered the words that had come out of Jacob next.

He'd called the Cullens monsters, said that they were nothing more than leeches and she was a fool for trusting them, especially the hypocrite doctor.

Bella had pulled back her fist and punched his face, making hard contact with his cheekbone. Realizing her intention too late, Jacob had failed to block her in time.

The Quileute muscle boys had all rushed over when Bella fell to her knees, screaming in pain. Jacob was instantly contrite, and despite her resistance, had driven her in the truck to the ER himself. Using her Blackberry, he called Charlie and let him know where they were headed.

"I know you're friends with them," he'd said. "Are you sure you can trust them?"

"Right now, I trust them more than you," she'd answered, holding her hand and glaring at him. "What the hell happened, Jake?"

Jacob had said nothing more until he'd pulled up at the entrance doors to the emergency room of Forks Community Hospital. "Right now, I'm trusting your friend to take care of your hand. That's all I can give you for now, Bella. Try to take care of yourself."

Jacob had passed Bella's keys and Bella to the waiting Charlie and had padded away.

That was the last she had seen of him. Sighing, Bella pulled up into her driveway and parked the truck next to the cruiser. Looking down at her right hand, Bella flexed the fingers. She'd worn the brace Dr. Snow had given her for ten days while her hand healed. It was ironic that Jake had made a gesture of faith in Carlisle for Bella's sake, and he hadn't even been on duty. Though when Carlisle first saw her injury, he had made his own examination of her hand. Not able to drive, Bella had carpooled with Alice and Jasper to school after that, and didn't see or hear from Jake at all. She'd tried calling him only once, and Billy had told her that he was out.

Bella decided that it was time to let it go. Jacob had his own life to live, the other guys had seemed like decent people, and if he wanted her to know what was going on, he'd contact her. Bella grabbed her bookbag and went inside.

She was surprised not to hear the television on in the living room. She hung up her coat and scarf and looked around. The house was eerily silent. Bella went upstairs and dropped her bookbag into her room. The bathroom door was open, revealing no one inside. Was Charlie taking a nap?

Bella found her father in the kitchen, sitting at the table. He was staring at nothing. His face was contorted into a shape she'd never seen before, and it looked like he was in serious pain.

"Dad!" She rushed over to him, putting her hands shoulders. "What's wrong?"

Charlie moved only to lift his hand and cover hers on his shoulder. Slowly he looked up at her. "Harry's dead."

"What?"

"Heart attack. It was quick."

"Oh, Dad." Bella dropped her head, resting it on top of his. "I'm so sorry."

They stayed like that for several minutes. Neither of them saying anything, while Charlie breathed raggedly.

"I've got to go to Sue," Charlie said. He patted Bella's hand once and stood up as she backed off to give him room. In a moment he was out the door.

(~*~)

Bella had never seen Charlie so sad. Next to Billy, Harry Clearwater had been Charlie's best friend. She went with him to Harry's funeral two days later. Even there, Jake seemed to avoid her, sticking with his new group of friends, but Bella didn't care. She was there for Charlie.

As with true grief, Charlie's sadness didn't immediately abate. He was quieter than usual, more pensive, and while he might crack a smile, he didn't rise to Bella's jokes like he used to.

Bella stuck by his side as much as possible for the next several weeks. If she knew Charlie was going to be home, she was there as well. Two weeks went by without her even visiting the Cullens, though she saw Alice and Jasper in school. She had called Carlisle once, to talk to him about Charlie.

"Bella, you just need to be there, let him feel your presence. He won't wallow forever. Your father has had a lot of loss in his life, and even though forty-one is still young, he's just lost one of his closest childhood friends. Don't overcrowd him, just be around and be yourself. If you try too hard, it won't help him slip back into his normal pattern of life."

"I suppose that makes a lot of sense."

"I am glad you are able to be there for him. He will miss you when you head off to college."

Bella felt a large wave of sadness. God, she would miss Charlie. Carlisle was right, her father had lost a lot of the people closest to him. At least he'd gotten her back, if only for a little while. It struck Bella that she'd been living in Forks for a year now.

"Would you like me to ask Alice to visit with Jasper?" Carlisle offered.

"No, not Jasper, no offense. But Alice could be a good idea. He's always seemed to like her. I'll talk to her at school tomorrow though; you don't need to ask her."

"Alice probably already knows anyway," Carlisle said with a smile in his voice.

Bella smiled, too, but felt that little ache inside.

Charlie did actually seem happy to see Alice at the house when he came home from work the next afternoon.

"What are you girls up to?"

"Nothing much, Charlie." Alice smiled at him. "How's the day job treating you?"

"Same as ever." Charlie reached into the refrigerator and grabbed a beer. "Got all your college applications in?"

"Absolutely. I'm hoping to be able to travel to New England. It would be nice to see the other coast, be among the stuffy intellectuals of private schools."

"Are you aiming Ivy League, then?"

Bella was impressed with how easy it was for Alice to lie. The Cullen kids never actually went to college, in order to reduce the number of places where the family could be traced. Typically, Alice and Jasper would make themselves scarce, pretending to just be "visiting" during school breaks. Maggie, Carlisle and Esme stayed living in town until Carlisle was no longer believably the age he pretended to be. Then the family would move on.

Bella would be the only one actually visiting during school breaks. Would the Cullens move on before she finished college? What would happen with her? Would they stay in touch? Or would they have to pretend not to know her? She'd be too old to be a former classmate of Alice's and too young to be a classmate of the 26-again fresh-from-residency Carlisle. Would she have to wait five years before seeing them again? Maybe she could pose as a sister; she and Esme had faces that were similarly shaped.

Bella was startled out of her thoughts by Charlie's laughter. He was actually laughing.

"Alice, I believe that you accomplish just about anything you put your mind to." Charlie's gaze slid over to Bella and he gave her the tiniest wink. Bella grinned back at him. She had no idea what Alice had just said, but she was grateful.

"Keep betting on me, Charlie. Speaking of…" Alice reached into her satchel and pulled out a fat book that seemed to contain lots and lots of ribbons. Then she pulled out another one. And another one.

"What's this?" Charlie asked. He looked apprehensive.

Bella's expression was identical. Unfortunately, she had some idea of where Alice was going with this.

"We need to pick out Bella's colors, figure out which ones look best on her, in which fabric. From there, we can choose a prom dress."

"No, we don't," Bella said in a rush. "I already know my color. It's, uh… brown."

"Bella, don't be silly. We won't know until we hold it against your skin. Of course, this isn't the best lighting, but it will work for now."

Bella and Charlie locked horror-filled gazes. Then the expression in Charlie's eyes shifted, and Bella knew that he was going to throw her to the wolves.

"Right, the kitchen is all yours."

"Oh no, wait, Dad. Don't you think I need to be getting dinner started right now?" Bella's eyes were pleading.

"I think tonight's a night for ordering Chinese."

"Oh, I love Chinese food!" Alice exclaimed.

Bella shot her a death glare. "You'd. Better. Prove. It."

Alice didn't even bat an eye. "I think we'll start with winter colors. Right now I am thinking something icy would suit you."

Charlie took one more look at the massive selection of swatches on his kitchen table and beat a retreat.

(~*~)

A slight spark had come back into their lives. Though Charlie's grief and Bella's concern still weighed heavy, slowing things down, life still inevitably moved forward. Alice came over in the afternoons a bit more frequently, and occasionally Jasper stopped by, too. They had some study sessions together, and true to their claim, Bella actually saw them do homework. It was slightly unnerving how fast they could flip pages and read the text. That, of course, was only when Charlie wasn't around.

When Charlie was around, he attempted to chat.

"Jasper, you'll be taking Alice to the prom?"

"Yes, sir," Jasper answered.

"It's not until next month, though, right?"

"May 13th."

"Who will be taking you to the prom, Bells, that boy Austin?" Charlie asked. He had met Austin when he'd picked her up for their second date.

"Actually, I haven't talked to him about it."

"Things between you two okay?"

Bella shrugged. "Sure, I guess. We only went out a couple times, Dad."

Charlie looked at Bella with a sudden realization coming into his eyes. Attempting to be casual, he scratched the stubble on his jaw. "You've been home too much lately, Bells. Why don't you go out this weekend?"

Bella looked away and flipped a page in her textbook. "I don't mind being home."

Conscious of the others in the room, Charlie directed his next question to his guests. "Alice, Jasper, do you think it's healthy for a teenage girl, about to graduate high school, that's only ever been on two dates-" Bella's head jerked up "-to spend her weekends at home babysitting her father?"

"Well, let's see," Alice said. "Is the father sick or otherwise incapacitated?"

"No, he's quite capable of taking care of himself. Let's make him chief of police, and capable of taking care of the whole town."

"In that case, does she need to stay home and be babysat by him?" Jasper mulled.

"Hmm, there's a thought." Charlie nodded with exaggerated slowness. "She might have a drug problem."

"An addiction to the internet."

"A lover who sneaks in her window every night." That came from Alice.

"Enough!" Bella raised her voice while Charlie paled. "I'll make plans; I'll go out, okay? Sheesh."

(~*~)

Charlie hovered a little at her bedroom door that night, eyes continually glancing over at the window while he extolled on his fabricated reason for knocking on her door. Bella finally walked over to the window and flicked the lock on. Turning around, she crossed her arms. "Seriously, Dad."

"Goodnight, Bella," and Charlie left the room, a little sheepishly.

He seemed a little extra cheerful, even if it was somewhat forced, the next morning when Bella got up for school. In the kitchen, Bella poured herself a glass of juice and a bowl of cereal, and joined Charlie at the table where he sat drinking coffee and reading the sports section.

She thought about seeing Austin at lunch that day. She really hadn't talked to him much since Harry's death. He'd chatted with her about the brace on her wrist, but Bella had hidden the real reason behind it. She was a little too embarrassed to tell the school that she was paying the penalty for losing her temper and actually hitting someone. In any case, Bella hadn't dwelled enough on Austin to realize that a third date had never been planned. He'd been friendly enough, but probably given her space because of the wrist and then because of her dad. Did Austin know her father's friend had died? Angela had probably told him.

Only half-heartedly glancing at the loose newspaper on the table, Bella took a closer look when one of the article headings caught her eye: "Port Angeles Would-Be Rapist Wounded and Jailed". Sliding the paper closer, Bella pretended nonchalance and sipped from her glass of orange juice as she read. "Clifford Pendleton, 24, of Port Angeles, was arrested last Tuesday night after attacking a young woman on W 4th Street. During the altercation Pendleton suffered an injury, allowing the woman to escape and contact authorities. Brought to the ER by policemen, Pendleton was discovered to have fractured all eight bones in his right wrist. Pendleton is currently being held in the Clallam Bay Corrections Center, from which he'd been released December of last year after serving time for theft."

Bella reread the short article two times over. Then she set her glass down right on it, creating a wet ring. Not even looking back she finished her cereal, collected her dishes, and with a goodbye to Charlie, left for school.

(~*~)

"Bella, stop moving."

"I can do this myself."

"You'll look much more fabulous if I do it for you."

"I'm not going for fabulous. I'll settle with pretty."

"Settling is exactly what I'm asking you to do. Don't scratch!"

Bella lowered the hand she had been about to raise. "Why don't you just predict my fidgets and compensate?"

"I fight that way, I don't put on make-up that way."

Bella fought the urge to sigh, and obligingly made her body perfectly still.

"Thank you. Now look up."

Bella opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling while Alice applied liner to her lower lids. "I hope you're having fun."

"We are _both_ going to be having fun tonight. Just relax."

"How am I supposed to relax when I'm holding myself completely still?"

Alice stepped back. "I'm done. Relax now."

This time Bella did sigh, and let her body slump out of the perfect posture she'd been modeling. "Does this mean I get to do the mascara myself?"

"I already did it, while you were looking up."

"Huh?" Bella spun around to look at herself in the full-length mirror Alice had set up in her bedroom. She sat in her desk chair, wearing one of Charlie's old button-down flannels, underneath which the satin blue skirt of her dress was visible. Her hair was piled on top of her head in curls and tendrils and her eyelashes were definitely thick and extended. "You know, it kind of creeps me out that you moved so fast I didn't even feel or see you touch me."

"It should. Look at me." When Bella turned, Alice attacked her cheeks with blush. "Don't talk for a moment," she cautioned before moving on to Bella's mouth.

Alice was already dressed and ready, wearing some multi-colored haute couture Armani gown. Bella honestly thought that Alice was throwing the Cullen policy of keeping low-key right out the window, and was very thankful that her own simpler tastes had been respected when Alice chose Bella's dress.

Alice had completely taken the reins of Bella's prom. There wasn't much Bella had to say about it, especially since Charlie was supporting Alice 100%. It was for her own good, her own celebration of youth, of being eighteen. How funny both Charlie and Alice had used the same argument.

At the very least, Bella was looking forward to spending the evening with Austin. He was good company, charming and kind, though nothing had ever developed between the two of them. Bella felt a little weird that she hadn't asked him to the prom herself. Alice had taken control there as well; she was going to set up the dresses, the flowers, the limo and the dates. All Bella had to do was be home at the designated time, and Alice was going to swoop in like a fairy godmother.

Bella was certain that Alice had set her up with Austin. First, because there really wasn't anyone else that Bella thought could even be a possibility. Most of her guy friends were taken. Second, Alice and Jasper spent a lot more time at the lunch table with Bella's other friends, and Alice seemed to chat Austin up quite a lot. She often created topics of conversation that both Austin and Bella could get in on.

Making assumptions, however, left Bella uncomfortable, so she had subtly probed Austin at school earlier this week, without giving away that Alice hadn't actually told her he was her date. Austin had smiled and been eager, and confirmed he would see her on Saturday. Bella was relieved that she hadn't been unconsciously making an ass out of herself by jumping to conclusions.

"Here, all done," Alice said in a slightly annoying singsong voice. "Let's get that flannel off of you."

There was a knock on the front door as Bella stood, helping Alice to unbutton. "The boys are here with the limo!" Alice beamed. "Quick, stand in front of the mirror."

Her gown was floor-length, blue satin with a halter neck. It drew in at the waist and fell in straight lines over her hips and down. Rhinestones decorated the corresponding (_Please, God, let me stay on my feet tonight)_ heels.

Downstairs, the front door opened. Bella couldn't quite hear Jasper and Austin when they quietly greeted her father.

"Yeah, nice to see you again." Charlie's voice carried clearly up the stairs.

"You look beautiful," Alice reassured her, all confidence, her eyes twinkling. For a brief moment, Bella kind of wanted to deck her. Yet, she was in this thing for good, so it was time to be a good sport. Sighing, Bella turned away from the mirror and grabbed the tiny purse off her bed that matched the sapphire gown, ordering the nerves in her stomach to settle.

Alice practically vibrating with excitement right behind her, Bella made her way down the stairs. She knew that she didn't look _that_ bad, and took a moment to be self-indulgent enough to picture the dimple in Austin's smile when he first looked at her.

Bella was halfway down the stairs when she realized that it wasn't Austin waiting at the bottom.

Standing at the foot of the stairs, looking gorgeous wearing a black tux and white bowtie, was Edward Masen.

* * *

**A/N: How do you like the long chapter, kids? Alice's dress can be found with the links under her name on my profile. SMeyer went pretty high fashion for Alice in the book, so I had to do the same. The swan ring can be found among the Bella links.**

**I will be posting more to the Moonlit Deleted Scenes.**

**Three cheers for Nachos4Children! By doing research for her story "Clementines" she made a university update its policy on personal relationships. Love has been allowed to conquer in one more place in the world! How many of our fics have caused that to happen? **

**I am honored to be nominated for a handful of Hopeless Romantic Awards! I'm not-so-secretly hoping that "One Weekend" wins Best Virginity Loss. I'm also up for Best Writer, and "Moonlit" is nominated for Best Carlisle. Link will be on my profile if you're interested in voting! Lots of good writers have been nominated, so please share your love!**

**Speaking of such things, I'm eager to see what you think it is that Bella tasted on New Year's Eve. My beta knows! AlltheOtherNamesAreUsed has been a superb influence on this chapter, from how to eat crab to fitting the incomplete chapter in before she goes away on a long computer-free weekend. Thank you so much, and I hope you like the new scenes!**

**To all my readers, I'd be honored and validated if you left a review. In the meantime, enjoy the rest of your weekend!**

**Next chapter... the prom, more Carlisle, and a big secret is about to be revealed. **


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Much thanks to the following ladies for their Twitter and WC solidarity and support: Nachos4Children, SerendipitousMC, Gisellelx, Malianani, Woodlily, TheTinkk, AllTheOtherNamesAreUsed, ZoyaZalan and, surprisingly BloodofYourLips, who got all up in arms when she saw that someone left me a rude review on Twilighted.**

**Answer to the New Year's Eve taste mystery: As many of you guessed, there was a trace of Carlisle's venom on the fork.**

**We last saw Bella surprised to find out that Edward was her prom date. She wasn't the only one who was surprised. In fact, Carlisle's in for a number of surprises this chapter. Enjoy!**

* * *

~Chapter Twenty-One~

On the Saturday afternoon of the prom Carlisle was on duty at the hospital when a phone call from Edward came in on his cell.

"Carlisle, glad I caught you at a good time." Edward's voice came through clear and happy when Carlisle answered. "I've just arrived and I wanted to say hello since I'll be out when you come home."

"You're in town," Carlisle said, pleased. As always, Carlisle had missed his son since last seeing him. He loved each member of his family, but sometimes he wished to be in Edward's quiet presence and see the rare smile that could be induced from him. While he had no real basis for it, Carlisle felt that Edward did not smile as often with Rosalie as he did when he was home. He just didn't believe that the two of them found much happiness, and it was one of the many reasons he had for objecting to their lifestyle.

"Yes, for a few days. Didn't you know I was coming?" Edward was puzzled. "I thought Alice would have told you."

"Alice doesn't always announce her visions. Besides, I am grateful for the pleasant surprise. Why won't you be home once I'm off duty? Do you need to hunt?"

There was a brief hesitation before Edward answered. "I'm accompanying Alice and Jasper to the prom as Bella's date."

For a second or two, surprise left Carlisle silent.

"Carlisle?"

"I had been under the impression one of Bella's friends was to be her date this evening."

"I know nothing of that. Alice informed me that Bella would be going unaccompanied unless I came. I was quite surprised, but I agreed that Bella shouldn't attend her prom alone. Are you upset?"

"No," Carlisle answered immediately, regretting that he had caused Edward to worry. He smoothed his voice to convey his sincerity. "No, not at all, Edward. Just surprised. It never occurred to me that Bella would not have an escort."

"It's an honor to take her."

"Yes, it is. Edward, are you sure that you can handle it?"

Carlisle knew that Edward's behavior had been exemplary in the weeks before he left Forks. He and Bella had seemed to come to terms, and the friendship that Alice had promised was forming. However, months had passed since Edward had last been exposed to Bella's scent, and Carlisle couldn't be sure of the consequences of that. He'd ask Alice, but surely she had seen nothing wrong or she wouldn't have invited Edward. It struck him a little odd that no one had mentioned to him that Edward was coming to town and taking Bella to her prom. Not even Bella, who had told him a friend from school was taking her.

Which led him to another question, but Edward was already answering his last one. "Yes, Carlisle, I am certain. I am very much looking forward to seeing Bella –strictly in a family sense."

Instead of reassurance, the assertion actually gave Carlisle some doubts, but he left them alone for now. Alice and Jasper would be there to prevent anything untoward that might occur, and Edward had shown that he deserved Carlisle's faith. "Does Bella know that you are her date?"

"Alice wants it to be a surprise."

"Why?" Carlisle immediately regretted that the tone of the question had come out as less than congenial. Once again he found himself in the rather ridiculous position of feeling protective of Bella against members of their own family.

"It's something to do with being part of the magic of prom, I understand."

Carlisle thought it sounded a lot like something Alice would say when she was on a tear. It might have amused him, if he hadn't had some concern. "I admit it distresses me some that Bella is not aware of this."

"I understand, but, please, Carlisle, don't be concerned. I promise to do everything I can to make sure that Bella enjoys herself this evening."

That was the crux of it all. Bella should enjoy herself, and Carlisle's trepidations were only adding negativity to the day. Allowing wisdom to overcome his reservation, Carlisle simply let it go. "I believe you." Carlisle let his tone be light. "Are you still returning to the house afterwards?"

"Yes, the four of us will be. The rest of Bella's friends will be going elsewhere."

"That's right, Alice is gathering them all up for the limo." Carlisle started laughing at the thought of Edward trapped in a car with Alice, Bella, Jasper and eight hormonal teenagers. A number that would only grow larger once they arrived at the school. It was, after all, senior prom. Good thing Jasper would be there to regulate.

"Care to let me in on the joke, Carlisle?"

"I just wish you luck, Edward, with the thoughts are you likely to encounter this evening." Carlisle's grin grew only wider at the pause that followed on Edward's side of the line. He was actually pretty pleased by the time Edward disconnected. It would be good for Edward to have the dose of healthy living that the teenage rite of passage should offer. Edward asked Carlisle to trust him with Bella; Carlisle was also thinking that he could trust Bella to take care of Edward.

(~*~)

For a moment, Bella was stunned at the sight of Edward waiting for her. Taking advantage of Bella's sudden pliability, Alice prodded her along into the traditional prom date moments. At the base of the stairs, Edward greeted her, eyes shining. Bella wanted to say that it was mocking amusement coming out of his eyes, but once hers made contact with his, she saw that it was a mixture of both fun and mirth. With a smile, he slipped a corsage onto her wrist.

A camera flashed. Extremely embarrassed, Bella glared at Charlie, but she believed his excuse that Renee was forcing his hand. Bella's mother definitely would have insisted on getting to see photos. Edward was fairly gracious about the picture-taking, and in the group shots, Alice completely hammed it up, giving Bella a pinch when she didn't do the same. Bella was the only one in the room feeling awkward; it was a semi-painful several minutes. Yet, when Charlie lowered the camera before they all headed out the door, Bella caught the emotion swimming in his eyes. Her own reared up for a moment, and Bella just managed to get out the word "Goodbye."

Bella still hadn't quite recovered the powers of speech once the four of them were on the move. She kept her head down, focusing on the blue satin covering her lap. Feeling Edward's questioning gaze from beside her on the seat, she glanced up at him and half-smiled before looking down again. From Bella's house they had a quiet five minute drive to Jessica's, where the other four couples were waiting: Mike and Jessica, Angela and Ben, Tyler and Lauren, Eric and Katie.

Despite being overcast, the weather was fairly warm, and the other teens were out on the Stanley lawn, getting their pictures taken by parents. It definitely looked like a party was going on as the eight fancily dressed-up seniors and a minimum of one parent for each crowded the grass. With the arrival of the limo and its passengers, the prom attendees were no longer outnumbered. At least seven cars were already parked at the house, and there was just enough room along the curb for the limo. Who would have thought that parallel-parking skills would be required in Forks? The driver was definitely a professional and managed it with ease, despite the tall bulk of the luxury vehicle.

Alice and Jasper exited first when the driver came round and opened the door. After Edward emerged, he turned and held out his hand to assist Bella. It was more chivalry than Bella was used to, and she couldn't help but stare at his face as she took his hand and rose out of the vehicle. If he hadn't had such a firm grasp, Bella was certain she would have stumbled once the second high heel hit gravel.

"Thank you," she said quietly, finally speaking.

He looked incredibly content and at ease as he put her arm through his. "Smile, Bella. This is supposed to be your evening."

"Why are you here?" she finally asked, whispering as they began to walk across the lawn.

"I heard you were in need of an escort." Edward's eyes flitted briefly over to Lauren and Jessica, who were literally staring at them open-mouthed.

"So Alice thought to ask you?"

"Why not? It's not as though Carlisle could do it."

Bella colored at the thought. "And, uh… um, where's Rosalie?"

"Still in Minneapolis."

Bella halted in her high heels. "You came that far?"

"Bella!" Jessica squealed before Edward could answer, rushing over in a swirl of pink chiffon. "You look so pretty! Who is this you've brought with you?"

"Oh, um, Jessica, this is Edward. Edward, this is Jessica, her date Mike, and Lauren." Bella continued the introductions, and noticed Edward frown at Lauren.

"Where did you guys meet?" Jessica asked, never taking her eyes off Edward.

"Edward and his sister Rosalie were our closest friends at our last school," Alice volunteered. "Bella met them when they visited during Christmas break."

"Oh, then you're from Alaska?"

Edward inclined his head slightly at Lauren.

"What's it like having so much solid sunshine?"

"About the same as having constant night," he answered in a brisk monotone. His sudden rudeness surprised Bella, as it must have Lauren, for she looked a little taken aback.

"Guys, let's get pictures done before we're late!" Alice encouraged, cutting off the conversation. She cut a quick glare at Edward before linking her arm through Jasper's and smiling charmingly at the parents. All three ignored the family dog that was growling and backing up toward the house.

A longer round of parents taking pictures followed, made all the more tedious for the teenagers as Jessica's mother kept trying to get creative with how they'd pose. Jessica herself finally called a halt, and with a quick hug for her family, followed as they all piled into the limo. Alice had rented a Lincoln Navigator Luxury Stretch SUV out of Seattle, and Bella imagined that she must have paid quite a lot to get the company to send the driver so far. While there were more local limousine companies that had definitely been hired for the occasion before, Bella didn't think that anyone had ever arrived at the Forks High Gymnasium in such style.

"Oh, wow," Angela said while Tyler let out a whistle.

Though all together their group totaled twelve, the limo sat fourteen. Instead of just the front-facing and back-facing seats one expected in the traditional limo, the main interior of the car also included one long ivory leather seat that faced sideways towards the lit bar and flat television screens. A yellow neon trim ran along the bar and the recessed design of the roof, which was high enough that everyone could almost stand.

"Oh my God, there's a mirror on the ceiling," Jessica said reverently, her head tilted at an awkward angle as she tried to look at herself. Bella heard Edward give a soft chuckle.

Once everyone crowded in, the limo pulled away from the Stanley house. Jasper, Alice and Edward sat closest to the front in the L-bend of the seat, furthest from all the cool trimmings. Sitting beside her date, the slight squish of bodies made Bella realize that the vampires had maneuvered themselves that way on purpose. No one else would come into contact with their cool skin. She was the Bella buffer.

"I'm turning on the stereo," Eric declared, and soon "Hips Don't Lie" was blasting while Ben poured out sparkling cider.

Bella watched as everyone chattered and laughed and joked about staying in the limo the whole night, instead of just the short ten-minute trip to the high school. This was actually kind of fun. Even more observant, Edward sat beside Bella, amused. "This is as much a first for me as it is for you," he whispered in her ear.

"You and I seem to be doing a lot of that," Bella whispered back.

Edward smiled in acknowledgment.

The high school parking lot was crowded with student vehicles and a handful of limos. Many of Bella's classmates were all moving together to get into the gymnasium, a sea of colored dresses and black tuxedos. They greeted each other, laughed, and every girl felt like the belle of the ball. Several heads turned to look at the immense limo and those who emerged from it. Ignoring the gawking, Bella stepped very carefully and, with the support of Edward's arm, managed not to stumble as they made their way inside.

She snorted when she saw the decorations, starting with the balloon arch that covered the entrance. Twists of crepe paper stretched in rows across the gym ceiling, and dangled on the sides, interspersed with disco balls and silver stars.

"What exactly is the theme?" Bella asked.

"I don't know," Alice answered, a little appalled, "but now I wish I'd gotten on the committee."

"It looks like a horror movie waiting to happen."

"Oh, come on, Bella! Alice didn't finally manage to drag you here so that you could bring us all down. Let's find a table." Jessica's free arm pulled on Bella's and, along with Mike and Edward, guided her to one of the many tables along the edges of the dance floor. Covered with white tablecloths, the tabletops were speckled with silver and blue stars, and a corresponding star key chain that read "Forks High Prom 2006" at each chair.

There seemed to be a permanent curl of amusement on Edward's lips. He pulled back a chair for Bella, as Jasper did for Alice. After a panicked second, Mike did the same for Jess.

"Would you like me to get you a drink?" Edward asked.

"Um, yeah," Bella answered. "Hopefully it's too early for anyone to have spiked the punch."

"That wouldn't happen here . . . you think?" Jessica went from protesting to intrigued.

"You never know," Angela said. She was simply glowing, looking around at the room and at Ben.

"I'll make sure I bring nothing back but the purest. Ladies." Edward inclined his head and with a touch to Bella's shoulder left.

"Is he getting drinks for all of us?" Angela wondered.

"Um, I'd better help him." Ben took off after Edward.

Jessica leaned right in. "Bella, _tell_ me you have not been secretly dating this guy since Christmas! Is that why nothing ever happened with Austin?"

"What? No, no, Edward is just a friend."

After more protestations from Bella, Jessica finally backed off only seconds before a smiling Edward and a chatty Ben returned with drinks for the whole party, including Eric, Katie, Tyler and Lauren, who sat at the table adjacent to them. Austin and his date - a girl with a familiar face, but whose name Bella didn't know - slid in next to them. Bella blushed a little when she saw them, but thankfully she was the only one there aware of her mistaken assumption.

Couples soon broke off to dance, including Alice and Jasper, who cut a swath through the crowd around them. They certainly showed off that they knew how to move. Content to stay where she was, Bella took advantage of the chance to pry a little more out of Edward. "Want to tell me why you took such an instant dislike to Lauren?"

Edward shook his head. "Just let me say that girl is not your friend."

Bella took a second to think about it and nodded. "We're more acquaintances, really. Same social circle, but not close. I guess you could say that I'm not her friend either."

"I'd find it hard to believe that your thoughts of her could be anywhere near that rude. She thought you hired me to be your . . . date tonight."

Bella studied the downturn of Edward's lips, and the drawing together of his brows. Her fingers flew up to her mouth to ineffectually cover the shocked laugh that came out. "She thought you were a gigolo?"

"Trust me, you don't want to know precisely what she thought."

Bella didn't bother to hide it. Her hand dropped to her neck as she tilted her head back and just laughed. Slowly, almost reluctantly, the tension in Edward's face eased.

Still smirking, Bella lifted her cup to her lips for a sip. "So what made you agree to be here tonight?"

Edward avoided her eyes at first, but then met them with a smile. "I didn't want you to be alone."

"Ha. I'm hardly alone."

Edward gestured to the abandoned cups and key chains scattered across the table. "Who would be keeping you company now if I wasn't here? You'd be sitting by yourself, not having a good time, and possibly having a pity party."

"So you're here to save me from myself."

"Exactly."

"Purely altruistic?"

Edward smiled at her, the old dazzling effect she remembered from before. "No, I wouldn't say that. I still find your presence very soothing, and was quite happy to agree to be your date."

Bella couldn't help it; her stomach flip-flopped. Then she was distracted by Austin and his date slipping into the seat beside her. "Bella, how you doing tonight?"

"I'm great. How about you?" With a smile, Bella introduced Edward and Austin.

"Do you know Selena?" Austin placed his hand on the back of the pretty sandy-haired girl next to him.

"Hi," the girl waved.

"No, but you do look familiar," Bella said.

"You probably know my older sister Samantha."

"As in Lee and Samantha?"

"Oo," Austin pursed his lips. "Not since a couple months ago. That girl has completely shut down."

"Hey, be nice," Selena said lightly. "They were together for three years."

Austin shook his head. "It doesn't justify moping this long. Sorry, 'Lena, but if Sam doesn't have enough of her own personality without him, then the break up was good for her. If she ever gets up and steps out of her own door, that is."

"She came with us tonight. C'mon," Selena gave Austin's arm a tug. "Why don't you ask her to dance? Show her how to live a little."

With an acquiescent smile over his shoulder at Bella and Edward, Austin let his date tug him away.

Edward ran his fingers through his hair and laughed. "Quite the drama. It's an interesting trade-off, accepting the peace of your quiet mind while being bombarded with all the thoughts of the teenagers in this room."

Bella giggled. "Imagine what it would be like if you came to school here, like Alice and Jasper."

"Ugh," he said, picking up a key chain and twirling it on his finger. It was an odd fidget to see him make, but it blended him in well.

"Why haven't you?" she asked.

"Good Lord, why should I?"

Bella looked up at him, tilting her head to the side. "Edward, you're nearly a hundred years older than I am. We shouldn't be experiencing all these 'firsts' together."

"Limousines were hardly around when I was a student."

"No, but girls were. A date to a formal, a first kiss?"

Edward hesitated, and then smiled wryly. "I suppose it's possible that I gave a girl a kiss when I was still human, so it wasn't completely accurate of me to claim ours as my first. However, if I did, I don't remember it."

"You've had ninety years since then."

"Perhaps I've never met a girl worth kissing."

"Perhaps that's because you've been spending too much of your time looking for the unsavory to find…" Bella trailed off, not willing to finish the metaphor she began.

Edward, however, did not let her off the hook. "To find someone savory?" he finished with a wicked twinkle in his eye.

"Poor choice of words." Bella blushed a little, but guided the conversation back on topic. "Seriously, Edward, how much time do you and Rosalie spend among friends? It's been five months since you've visited your family. In all that time, have you ever just relaxed with someone? Human, nomad, anyone?"

"We do have friends outside of the family, you know. The coven up in Alaska, for instance."

"Mmm," Bella nodded. "And how often do you run into them in Minneapolis?"

"Alright, point taken." Edward crossed his arms, extending his legs out under the table. It made the tux crinkle about his frame in interesting ways and, actually, reminded Bella of the way Carlisle had looked on New Year's Eve. "I'm not a recluse, though, Bella."

"Well, you're going to have to prove it by fulfilling your role tonight." Bella stood up, and Edward straightened, uncrossing his arms. _I can't believe I'm about to do this_, Bella thought and she extended her hand. "Dance with me."

Looking up at her, Edward raised his eyebrows, before another wicked grin crossed his face. Accepting her outstretched hand, Edward stood up, and together he and Bella moved onto the dance floor.

(~*~)

Carlisle could not keep his thoughts from dwelling on the prom that was taking place right at that moment. Though he had never attended a high school prom himself, he had been to many formal functions. Dances were part of the social norm not too long ago. Carlisle recalled the occasions that he had been obliged to attend during the previous century. Learning to dance had been nearly as much a necessity as learning to use a scalpel, and had required as much care.

It had been a long time since he had the pleasure of dancing with a woman. Carlisle imagined what it would be like to hold Bella in his arms, move with her across the dance floor. Her left hand on his shoulder, her right palm pressing against his. She'd be looking up at him, those deep brown eyes of hers revealing how embarrassed and reluctant she was to be dancing. Though it was adorable to see the embarrassment on her face, he'd soothe her nerves and make her smile. She would be happy, dancing with him.

The curve of her hip would fit perfectly into the palm of his hand as, with the slightest of pressure, he'd guide her into a turn. The room around them would spin, fading out of his focus while Carlisle kept his eyes on Bella's face, upturned toward his. Her smile was all he needed, for in that moment that they danced together she was with him entirely, as he was with her. It was pure contentment to enjoy each other's company while their bodies moved to the music and the world around them ebbed away.

The smile on Carlisle's face slowly dissipated when he thought that such a pleasure was Edward's tonight. Which, of course, was much more appropriate. The reality was that tonight the rest of the world consisted of a gaggle of watching teenagers and their chaperones. It was not a setting in which Carlisle could be present in that fashion. Despite what would have been his own misplaced willingness to be at Bella's side tonight, it had been wise of Alice to seek Edward to be Bella's escort for the evening. What was wrong with the boys in Forks that none of them sought to take her?

Carlisle shook his head and turned his attention back to his laptop, trying not to think of Edward dancing with Bella, only to slip back into daydreaming of her warm body in his own arms as they twirled.

(~*~)

While "Mr. Brightside" boomed over the dance floor Edward guided Bella back to their table, and she slipped into her chair gratefully. Her feet hurt. After awhile she had realized that if she put her weight on the front of her feet the heels would stop threatening to give way. That meant trusting Edward not to let her fall forward. Right now, what she wanted most was to just slip the shoes off. Reaching her hand beneath the table, Bella bit her bottom lip as she tried to undo the strap on her heel.

"Need help?" Edward asked.

Bella shook her head. "No, thanks."

"How about a new drink? You must be thirsty."

"Ha. You mean from the physical exertion of stumbling all over the place for the last half hour?"

"Something like that, though it would be more accurate to say an hour."

Bella gave up on undoing her shoe. "Was it really that long?" she asked, straightening up.

"Time flies when you're having fun." Edward smiled at her, and again Bella got that flip-flop in her stomach, which she did her best to ignore. "I'll be right back with some water."

Alice and Jasper came back to the table once Edward disappeared into the crowd. "You look flushed, Bella."

"Apparently." She rolled her eyes. "Some of us can't move that easily, even with a vampire partner."

"You had fun." Alice's tone was defiant. "So did Edward. Bella, I haven't seen him this happy in a long time. Thank you."

"Thank me? You're the one who brought him across I don't know how many states to be _my_ date tonight."

"And it's been good for him, good for you both."

Bella paused partway through wiping away some sweat. "Alice, what are you up to?"

"I just meant that you and Edward both needed to get out and be among people having fun for a change."

"I get out," Bella protested.

"Oh, come on, Bella. You never would have come to your own senior prom if Charlie and I hadn't ganged up on you. Do you regret it?"

Bella looked out at the floor, at the crepe paper that was already ripped in places and falling in others, at Jessica with her hair coming undone from moving so much, at Ben and Angela so obviously in love as they danced in a slow circle, at Conner and Austin bursting balloons right behind Mike and making him jump. All her friends were in this large happy haze, and it pleased Bella to be a part of it. "Not at all," Bella answered Alice, accepting the bottle of water from Edward as he returned to the table.

(~*~)

Carlisle heard the limousine come down the drive and felt a small thrill of anticipation. Edward was home, and with him Bella. Powering down his laptop, he rose from his desk and swiftly made his way down to the front door, where Esme and Maggie were already waiting. Esme slipped her arm through Carlisle's and gave his upper arm a squeeze. "The children are home," she said.

"I hope they had a good time."

"Alice guaranteed it." Esme looked up at him, her light brown hair falling behind her shoulders as she tilted her head. "You're anxious to see Bella and Edward aren't you?"

"Yes. An endeavor like this is certainly new for Edward. I am eager to know how well he handled it. Bella, I imagine, will look quite lovely."

"Yes, exactly." Esme grinned, and Carlisle got the impression that there was something else on her mind. "Bella will look lovely."

"Is there something I should know?" Carlisle looked down at Esme, and over his shoulder at Maggie.

"You tell me," Esme answered softly.

"They're here," Maggie announced, and had the presence of mind to flick on the porch light. For a moment Carlisle felt guilty that he hadn't thought to do it earlier, but quickly dismissed the self-recrimination as superfluous. Carlisle saw the driver get out of the limousine, and even as the man opened the passenger door, Carlisle opened his own front door. Alice and Jasper emerged first. Carlisle smiled when he saw Alice step out. She certainly made fashion a priority and likely caused quite the sensation tonight. It was probably the first time Armani had been seen in Forks.

Edward stepped out, a carefree grin on his face. It was such a good thing to see again; Edward's smiles seemed to always have a touch of gloom just waiting under the surface. Right then there didn't seem to be any weight on Edward's shoulders as he turned and extended his hand. _My son, always the gentleman._

Bella rose out of the vehicle, a svelte hourglass of sapphire. All the promise of figure Carlisle had been startled to realize back in December was in mature evidence now. He was even more struck standing there in his own doorway than he had been that wintry afternoon on Bella's doorstep. The smart, hesitant openhearted teenager he once knew had grown into a woman.

Bella stumbled on her first step and Edward's hands were quick, catching onto her hips and stabilizing her. She winced slightly, but recovered. Her hands were outstretched for balance, and Carlisle stepped down off the porch to grasp hold of one of them. "Bella, you are beautiful tonight."

Bella gave him a smile, framed by the tendrils of hair that had fallen out of her upswept coiffure to tickle her cheeks and neck. "Thank you, Carlisle."

Carlisle took her weight when she stepped forward again, Edward's hands falling away.

"Hello, Carlisle," Edward said, and while he still smiled, Carlisle saw the faintest trace of gloom briefly return before it was chased away again.

"Edward." With one hand still holding Bella's, Carlisle gave him a manly one-armed hug. Edward returned the slap on the back. Behind him, Alice and Jasper were thanking and tipping the limo driver. "You had a good time."

"We did," Bella agreed, moving toward the door. Carlisle fell into step with her, as did Edward on his other side.

Esme and Maggie waited on the porch, knowing smiles on both their faces. Once again, Carlisle wondered if he was missing something. He released Bella to Esme, who enclosed her in a hug.

"Bella, dear, you look wonderful."

"It's all Alice's effort."

"Nonsense," Alice and Maggie spoke together.

"An artist is only as good as what she has to work with," Alice said.

"I'm sure many of the boys had their heads turned tonight. Come inside, Bella." Maggie led the way, the men trailing behind.

"Honestly," Bella said with a flop onto the living room couch. "I just want to decompress."

"Of course you do. We shouldn't hover." Esme moved a pillow aside, and motioned to Carlisle to sit beside Bella. "We're just so charmed to see you like this. And Edward." Esme stepped over to him and brushed her hands along his shoulders. "You look very handsome tonight." She gave him a light kiss on the lips, and Edward squeezed her elbows in fondness.

While the rest settled themselves around the room, Carlisle sat beside Bella, who had managed to get off one shoe, but was struggling with the strap on the heel of the other. She looked so adorable, awkwardly twisting beneath the blue satin of her gown, eyes focusing on nothing.

"Here, let me." At Bella's nod, he carefully lifted her foot onto his lap and loosened the shoe.

"I have been waiting all night to get out of those. High heels shouldn't exist."

"Bite your tongue," Alice retorted from where she was sitting in Jasper's lap on the loveseat.

When her foot became free, Bella thanked him and from her reclined position on the couch stretched, flexing and pointing her feet. Seeing her toes curl, Carlisle couldn't resist. He placed his thumb in the arch of the foot still in his lap, and starting with slow circles, began to massage.

"O-oh, thank you," Bella sighed.

"Does that feel better?"

"Are you kidding? You could do that forever and I wouldn't complain." Bella brought her other foot off the floor and placed it, too, in Carlisle's lap. With a chuckle, Carlisle began to rub both feet with his hands. Satisfied when he saw her eyes close, Carlisle moved his attention to Edward. He sat in the chair across from Carlisle, and for a second his eyes were shut as well.

"I trust the prom was not as physically strenuous on you, Edward, but how was the mental strain? Were there many kids in attendance?"

"There were about eighty, and it _did_ take a little adjustment." Edward smiled wryly. "Far too many minds dwelling on such mendacity. It was actually best when the music was upbeat; more people focused on simply enjoying themselves."

"I'm sorry, Edward," Bella said, eyes open again. "You were there tonight because of me. I didn't realize that it was that difficult for you."

"It wasn't entirely bad, hearing all those thoughts. For instance your friends Eric and Katie, and Angela and Ben, are very much in love. An evening like this brought that more into the foreground than otherwise."

"That's nice to hear."

"You're also forgetting the rewards I receive in being near the peace of your quiet mind. I regret nothing." Edward stood with a smile, and Carlisle saw once again just how happy his son was tonight. "Though, had I been human, I'm not sure my feet would have survived yours. And while you are being pampered, I will continue my self-appointed role of seeing to your thirst."

Before Edward left the room Esme also stood up from where she'd been reclining with Maggie on the loveseat. "Let me help you."

As the two exited, Carlisle looked back down at Bella, whose eyes were shut again. "Is he saying that you stepped on his feet?"

Bella laughed. "In the end he made me just stay on his feet."

"He gave up too quickly," Jasper said, hand on Alice's hip. "A little more patience from both of you, and you won't stumble so much."

"Enough is enough. I'm happy with the way things went." Bella sighed, and she absently rubbed her hip.

"I confess, I am a little jealous of Edward." Carlisle continued to rub her feet. "You must allow me to take you dancing sometime."

"I think that semi-formals are no longer in my future, Carlisle. Besides, you danced with me on New Year's Eve. For one single dip, you were my first ever dance partner."

"It was absolutely my pleasure." Bella smiled at him and Carlisle felt his heart lighten. It was nice to share in the good mood the four of them had come home with. "Do you remember the first time I held your foot in my hand?"

"Um, it was when I twisted my ankle getting out of Mike's van. Wow, just over a year ago." Bella narrowed her eyes at Carlisle. "That was your fault, you know."

"My fault?" Carlisle raised his eyebrows, amused.

"And Alice's, and Jasper's, and Jacob's."

"Oh, let's hear this," Jasper said. "How, exactly, Miss Bella, did we make you twist your ankle, when none of us were there?"

"That was the moment I figured it all out. The sun was out that week, so you and Alice weren't around. I'd already unwittingly seen Carlisle demonstrate his superspeed, and the Quileutes were calling all of you the _cold ones_."

"Carlisle," Esme's voice was chastising as she entered with a bowl of tortilla chips and salsa dip. Bella sat up and took the glass of soda from Edward. "You weren't being careful at work? Shame on you."

Carlisle held up his hands helplessly. "So," he said to Bella, "you went straight from the asphalt underneath Mike's van to my emergency room, where, as I recall, you couldn't take your eyes off of me."

"Well, it was the first time you'd treated me when I had full knowledge of what you were. Can you blame me?"

"All I saw was a smitten teenager."

"You were _completely_ mistaken."

Carlisle made his voice a little high-pitched. "'What made you want to be a doctor?'" he quoted, batting his eyes. Everyone but Bella laughed.

"I did _not_ flutter my eyelashes at you."

Teasing the innocent Bella was too much fun as Carlisle watched a slow blush rise in her cheeks. It was enchanting. "No, but you did call me amazing not too long after."

"Ahhh!" Bella picked up a pillow and buried her face behind it. "Can we just leave the past in the past, please?"

"I don't think we can," Edward said. "After all, the point has been brought up that Carlisle acted without caution by using his vampire abilities in front you."

Carlisle laughed. "Yes, the disaster that is Bella in our lives is all my fault. This family will never recover."

Bella sighed, and dropped the pillow back onto the couch. She shook her head. "You have absolutely no idea how much I am going to miss you."

"Miss me?" Carlisle asked, surprised.

"All of you. Once I'm gone at college, I'll only be visiting during holidays and school breaks."

"Bella, you don't have to miss us at all if you don't want to."

Bella straightened her neck and looked at Carlisle quizzically. "What do you mean?"

Alice moved and plopped down next to her on the couch. "Jasper and I have applied to colleges, too. We're going wherever you're going."

"What?" Bella's went wide. "Really?"

"Really. You just have to choose which one, and we'll all follow."

Bella looked from Alice to Carlisle. "All?"

Carlisle took hold of Bella's hand. "You're an important part of our family. If you don't think it would be too much, we'd like to move with you. You could stay in our home, and not have to worry about dorm fees."

"But, how do you know you can get a job where I'm at?" Bella's warm hand grabbed hold of Carlisle's, and her eyes were full of concern. "Carlisle, you aren't planning on giving up being a doctor are you?"

"Not at all." He gave Bella's hand a reassuring squeeze. It pleased him that her first thought was of what he might be sacrificing. It was so much like Bella to put other people first. "I've been looking at where there are positions opening up, though I confess it would be easier to narrow that search once you've selected your college."

"I won't know until the letters come in. So far all I've had is a rejection letter from the University of Northern Florida, but to be honest it wasn't a top choice."

"Well, how about these?" Alice asked, and from who knows where she placed several large envelopes in Bella's lap. All had university logos and all were addressed to Bella.

"Alice, what? Have you been holding back my mail?"

"No, silly, these all came in the mail today; I just pilfered them to give you this evening."

"Come on, open them up," Maggie urged. "We all want to know where we're moving to."

Bella picked up the envelopes and held them to her chest. She looked around the room at everyone, and the emotion in her eyes was fragile. Carlisle wanted to give her a hug, but held himself back. "You are all agreed on this?"

"Well, this is the first I've heard of it," Edward said. Jasper elbowed him in the side, and Edward dropped the pretense. "I can't say it makes much a difference where home is, as long as everyone is there. Everyone includes you, now, Bella."

"Okay then." Bella looked down at the envelopes in her lap, and they were her remaining choices. She opened them one by one. Colby College in Waterville, Maine had accepted her, as did the University of Phoenix. Dartmouth was a rejection letter, and Bella felt a little disappointed. "Well, New Hampshire is out."

The final envelope from Middlebury College was also an acceptance packet.

"Well, to be honest, I think I'm going to have to say no to Phoenix. It would be nice to go back somewhere I'm familiar, but these past few months I've been thinking that I would rather be moving forward and seeing someplace new."

"You're not rejecting it on behalf of us because of the sunlight, are you, Bella?" Maggie asked.

Bella looked at her. "In part, I suppose I am. But I meant what I said. Phoenix is out." She tossed the envelope aside where it landed on top of Dartmouth's.

"So it's Maine or Vermont," Esme observed.

"Colby isn't a bad college at all. It's a high-ranking liberal arts college. Middlebury, however, is more prestigious." Bella looked at Carlisle.

"There are several options near Colby College," he answered her unasked question. "However, there is only one hospital near Middlebury. It's right in town, and they do have a position opening in General Surgery and Emergency Medicine. So the choice is yours."

Carlisle watched as Bella hesitated. She looked between the two envelopes thoughtfully. "Bella," he said, "you can take some time to think about it."

Bella looked up at him and then over at Alice, whose eyes were shining. "There's no need." Smiling, she held on to one envelope, and tossed the other onto the reject pile. Colby joined Phoenix and Dartmouth. "Middlebury College it is."

(~*~)

In the next week, Bella was full of excitement about her decision. Not even the final failure of her truck could keep her down for long. She did have a moment of feeling torn when she first made the choice between Middlebury and Colby. Both colleges had appealed to her. Between the two towns, Waterville, Maine – where Colby College was located – was a bit more urban, though it had none of the class Phoenix possessed. All the same, Bella thought that it would be pleasant to be in surroundings that were somewhat more city-like and familiar, and to get out of the rural life she'd been experiencing in Forks. Yet she'd grown accustomed to it this last year, and both Maine and Vermont would be fairly green anyway. Then Bella thought of how much easier it would be for the Cullens in Vermont, and her decision was made.

Going over her welcome packet at the kitchen table, Bella couldn't help but be eager. "The Literary Studies program is pretty awesome. They don't just limit it to one type or another. I can take classes in several different periods, _different languages_, in addition to focusing on the single body of literature I want to."

"I'm happy for you, Bells. What sort of financial aid are they offering?" Charlie asked, sliding some of the pamphlets over to him.

"Well, you're still going to have to sign a parent loan, and I'll have a couple of subsidized and unsubsidized loans, but we'll make it. Plus, I'm not going to have to worry about room and board. Alice and Jasper got into Middlebury, too, and Carlisle's discovered in opening at the medical center. So the Cullens decided to get a house there, and I'm going to stay with them."

Charlie set down his beer and looked hard at his daughter. "You're going to move in with the Cullens?"

"I'm going to be at the college most of the time, Charlie. I'll just have a room to myself instead of a small dorm I'll have to share."

"I could be wrong, Bells, but isn't sharing dorm space and getting to know the kids on your floor part of the whole college thing?"

Bella paused. "I suppose. But it's not like I'm not going to get out there and meet people. I'll still be on a meal plan in the cafeteria, and walking around campus with other students. I'm more likely to be in the library than back at the house. Have I told you about their _libraries?_" Bella grabbed one of the pamphlets and continued to babble on excitedly. Charlie listened politely until Bella practically danced out of the room on her way up the stairs.

Charlie rubbed the stubble on his jaw. His little girl was going to college, and she was going there with the Cullens. The time had come to have a talk with Carlisle. He picked up the phone and called Grace at the hospital front desk. "Would you mind telling me what time Dr. Cullen gets off duty today?"

(~*~)

When Carlisle's shift for the evening came to a close, he left the emergency room to walk through the hospital toward his office. As he passed through the hall his eye was caught by a familiar figure in uniform down by the front of the hospital. Carlisle changed direction to catch up with Bella's father. His presence was fortuitous; Carlisle had been hoping to catch up with him soon.

"Chief Swan," he said to get the man's attention.

An even six feet tall, Charlie Swan only barely had to look up to make eye contact with Carlisle. It was so remarkably like gazing into Bella's eyes, that for a brief second it gave Carlisle pause.

"Good evening, Doctor. Shift just ending?" The Chief's voice was as pleasant as usual, but there was a look in his eyes that Carlisle couldn't quite discern.

"Yes, I was about to head into my office. Do you have time to join me?"

He gave a nod of his head, and Carlisle turned to lead the way. "What brings you to the hospital right now?"

"This and that."

Carlisle didn't press further, respecting the police officer's right to privacy. Since he had just come off duty, Carlisle knew that it wasn't Bella or an injured suspect. Bella was exactly the reason why Carlisle wanted to talk to the Chief.

"Has the rain let up at all?" Carlisle asked to keep the walk friendly and companionable.

"A little bit, not much."

"Graduation is just around the corner. You must be proud."

"You have two of your own about to graduate."

"Alice and Jasper have done exceptionally well." Carlisle smiled proudly. It was only part affectation. Alice and Jasper were bound to do well academically, falling just short enough of perfect grades not to steal the top positions in the class away from those students that deserved it. Yet they'd gotten through another high school experience without drawing too much attention to themselves – with the exception, of course, of Bella – and Jasper had really made strides in his control.

When they reached his office, Carlisle opened the door for Chief Swan and gestured for him to have a seat in one of the guest chairs. Carlisle sat in his own chair behind the desk.

"Chief, I wanted to ask you something. Now that Bella's truck is no longer running, I would like to buy her a vehicle as a gift for graduation. I realize this is a fairly large gift, and I wanted to have your blessing before I moved forward."

"You are asking me for my blessing?"

"Yes."

Chief Swan's mouth tightened, and for a second he was silent. "I realize, Dr. Cullen, that my daughter has spent a lot of time with your family in the last year. She's been fairly happy, and I believe cares strongly for all of you."

"And we for her, Chief."

"And in a matter of about three months she is going to be living with you." Charlie raised his hand. "That's her decision, and I respect her right to make it."

Carlisle felt the stirrings of guilt. While he had thought of the Chief in regards to buying Bella a car, he hadn't considered what his reaction might be to their college plans. Carlisle began to realize more than he ever had just how much leniency he had been receiving from Bella's father.

"I appreciate the trust and faith you've been showing me and my family, and I hope you realize that it is not misplaced."

"I don't think there are very many of your kind that Bella would be as safe with."

The words took Carlisle by surprise, but then, he couldn't be sure what Chief Swan meant. "My kind?"

The Chief looked out the window, where the rain fell in a light mist. Carlisle knew him to be mostly a taciturn man, yet at that moment many emotions were playing across his face: caution, protectiveness, sadness, love. Carlisle's relationship with the Chief of Police had always been professional, despite the connection he had with Bella. Carlisle had much respect for him professionally, and what he knew of him personally. In that moment Carlisle realized he was being allowed a glimpse of Charlie Swan, the man and father. "Have you ever had a little girl?"

"Alice is adopted." Carlisle answered evasively.

"I am aware of that. I asked have you _ever_ had a little girl? Have you ever held your own flesh and blood child in your arms and known that you would do anything in the world to make her happy and keep her safe?"

"No." Carlisle crossed his hands in front of him on the desk.

"When my wife Renee left Forks with Bella, it was hard to know if I was making the right decision, letting Bella live with her mother. We both worried about how the change would affect her."

"That's understandable."

"So you can imagine that when Renee informed me of the nightmares Bella was having, I had a long talk with my cousin Billy."

If Carlisle's posture hadn't already been perfect, he would have sat up straighter.

"Billy's children," Charlie continued, "were too young to know those tales, in my opinion."

"Chief Swan, are you telling me that you are related to Billy Black?"

"I'm telling you that Ephraim Black was my great-uncle."

Carlisle leaned back into his chair. "I see."

Charlie nodded at Carlisle, and relaxed into his chair, placing his legs out in front of him. "I may be close with Billy, but my grandmother married outside the tribe, so did my father and obviously so did I. Tribal tales don't stay on my mind much; I'm more concerned with the here and now. I've always respected your work, and for the first two years didn't understand what had my cousin so upset about your arrival in Forks."

Charlie scratched his chin. "I like to think that Bella got her observation skills from me. Of course, when she asked me a couple questions, she didn't realize that I had enough knowledge to put two and two together on my own."

Carlisle was just dumbfounded. Anyone who had ever mistakenly thought of the Chief as slow certainly had no idea of the truth of the matter. "Why are you telling me now?"

"You want to take my daughter and move with her more than three thousand miles away. I think that warrants a conversation." Charlie's hand dropped away from his face and he readjusted in his seat. "Others of your kind are not as trustworthy. Two more have already come into her life. I can't say that I haven't had some concerns, or that I'm not worried about what continued exposure to you and yours may bring."

Never would Carlisle have expected to be having this conversation. Certainly, not like this, with the truth evident between them but only spoken of in allusion. Yet, it was turning out to be one of the most important conversations of his life. "I would never let anything happen to Bella, nor would anyone in my family," he answered Charlie.

Charlie nodded. "You're a good man, Dr. Cullen; I've always known that. And I believe that you will take care of Bella. I want you to know that I am trusting you."

_And, by extension, anyone I might introduce to Bella,_ Carlisle thought. Charlie was letting Carlisle's own character represent his family, Bella's safety. Carlisle didn't think that he had ever been handed a greater compliment, and was humbled by it. "I can understand why my children Edward and Rosalie might have startled you. Thank you for the faith you've shown them."

"Yeah, well." Charlie looked around the room for a second, stretching his neck. He looked for all the world like the man Carlisle had always known, but now Carlisle knew that there was a lot more under the surface of Charlie Swan. "Thank you for being willing to purchase Bella a car. I'd like input on the choice, nothing high maintenance. Her earnings should go towards college. _That_ we are going to pay for ourselves."

"I would never dream of imposing."

"I want her to be able to make friends at that college, Dr. Cullen. Will you make sure that she gets that opportunity?"

"Of course," Carlisle answered. "I don't want to hinder Bella in any way. And, please, call me Carlisle."

Charlie nodded and stood up. "I'd better be getting on."

Carlisle stood up as well, and extended his hand. "Thank you for coming to see me. It's been enlightening and I'm honored to have earned your trust."

Charlie took Carlisle's hand and didn't let go. "You know that my friend Harry Clearwater died? Do you know why?"

"I was sorry to hear of it. A heart attack, wasn't it?"

"Yes, from the shock of seeing his daughter phase. Leah became the sixth wolf to join the pack. There've been many more since her." His voice remained jovial. Charlie's other hand came to close on top of Carlisle's. "If anything should happen to Bella, even all the way in Vermont, do not think that I'm not able to send trouble your way."

Grinning, Charlie gave Carlisle's hand one more shake, and then turned and left the office. Carlisle watched in stunned silence. As the reality of the situation sunk in, Carlisle shook his head and laughed. He'd gotten his blessing from Bella's father, alright, complete with the shotgun warning to take care of his girl.

Carlisle sat back down behind his desk again. He couldn't believe that this was the second time he'd found himself in his office being confronted with the truth by someone who'd kept quiet for a long time. From his account, Charlie had known it even before Bella had, and had most certainly held the secret longer. What extraordinary people the Swans were. It was a good thing he and his family were leaving Forks soon. Hopefully no one in Vermont had any Native American legends to draw from.

* * *

**A/N: Now I extend to all of you an apology. Out of respect for her vacation, I posted this without running it by my wonderful beta, AllTheOtherNamesAreUsed. This chapter is lacking the improvements her advice surely would have given it. Special thanks to Nachos4Children, who dropped everything to read the closing scene and let me know that what's going on wasn't very clear. Hopefully, now, it is.**

**Now that you've all seen the chapter, what do you think? :)**

**Next Chapter. . . off to college, new female friends, new _male _friends, and Carlisle will have even more reason to be getting jealous.**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: I've pushed back Bella starting her first semester, to give you a few days of Bella and Carlisle alone together as they travel across the country. I hope you enjoyed the baseball outtake I posted to the Moonlit Deleted Scenes while I was still working on this. **

**Thanks to my WC/Twitter pals for all your support, humor and last-minute grammar advice.**

**Specific acknowledgment to ItHappened for suggesting the Architecture River Cruise, and to AllTheOtherNamesAreUsed for being an amazing beta all the way from this chapter's inception to its crazily paced drafts.**

**In the previous chapter: Bella and the Cullens plan to move together to Vermont. Upon learning this news, Charlie finally had a one-on-one talk with Carlisle, revealing that he's known a lot more than anyone realized.**

* * *

~*~ Chapter Twenty-Two ~*~

Bella stepped off the stairs and set her final bag at her feet. These were going to be her last moments in Charlie's house for some time. She took a second to look around, at the modest kitchen to her right, where she'd cooked Thanksgiving and played Trivial Pursuit with Jacob and Rachel; at the tiny hall and entryway where she'd posed for prom pictures; and in the living room where Charlie, Billy and Jacob were all currently waiting. Sue Clearwater, Harry's widow, was also there. Slightly older than Charlie, Sue was a tall, handsome Quileute woman who had become a fixture of the Swan household in recent months.

"All set, kid?" Charlie asked.

Bella nodded. "Yup. I'm pretty sure I'm not forgetting anything."

"Alright." Charlie grabbed her bag and went out the front door with it. Bella could hear the sound of her car door opening.

"What's you're itinerary?" Billy asked.

"Get on I-90 and head east. Make it to Cleveland by Friday and Middlebury by Sunday."

"That's it? No landmarks, no restaurants, no touring?"

Bella raised her palms slightly and let them slap back onto her thighs. "That's it. Alice will let us know when to stop and explore. Well, Alice and my stomach."

"Sounds impulsive," Sue said approvingly.

"It's going to be fun."

"I agree," Sue answered with a smile and held her arms out as she stepped towards Bella.

Bella embraced the slender woman, whose strength and fortitude she had come to respect over the summer. "Make sure Charlie eats well," she whispered in Sue's ear.

When Bella stepped back, Sue gave her a small nod and said simply: "Take care of yourself."

Charlie reentered the room just as Bella was exchanging hugs with Billy. Bella knew that Billy was still unhappy about her plans, but in the end, there was nothing he could do about it. His face tightened, as if he was preparing to say something unpleasant, but then he seemed to change his mind. "I'm sorry you're not going to be driving that old truck of mine across the country. It would have liked to see Montana."

"I'm not sorry," Charlie answered. "It would never have lasted."

"What do you know?" Billy shot his best friend a mock sour face.

"I know it didn't make it going back and forth in Forks for more than a year."

Bella smiled while the two men sniped at each other and Sue rolled her eyes. Jacob stepped in and swept her up in a big hug, literally lifting her off her feet. "What, weren't you going to hug me good-bye, too?" he teased as he squeezed tight.

"Uh, you're going to make me smell like wolf."

"Just reminding Dr. Fang who's got your back here at home." He gave her a quick and sloppy wet peck on the lips before he set her back down.

Bella laughed. "Carlisle would never complain, but, jeez, I don't want to do that to him. Maybe the fresh air will clear some of it off." With a wave at the Quileutes, Bella stepped outside of Charlie's house. The late August day was gray, with just a touch of fall on the breeze. Good traveling weather. The Cullens were all making the trip, and Carlisle had volunteered to ride in the car with her and take turns driving.

Bella's 2006 Toyota RAV4 was parked in the driveway next to Charlie's cruiser. It had been a graduation present, and after the ceremony nothing had been a greater surprise for Bella than to see both Carlisle and Charlie standing by the SUV in the parking lot. The metallic blue vehicle had worn a large red ribbon and bow – Alice's ostentatious touch.

Charlie, who had followed Bella outside, rested his hand on the hood. He cleared his throat. "I, um, I put your bag in the backseat."

Bella looked at her sneaker, examining the toe. "Yeah, that should make it pretty easy access." Neither of them said anything, and after a couple beats Bella looked up again. There were tears swimming in Charlie's eyes. "Dad-"

She didn't get anything else out before Charlie grabbed her, hugging her just as tight as Jacob had. Bella tucked her head under his chin and squeezed him back for all she was worth. They stood like that for a silent minute. Finally, Charlie placed a kiss on the top of her head and let her go. They both looked away, Bella wiping her cheeks.

Billy, Jacob and Sue were watching from the doorway. Sucking in her bottom lip, Bella gave them another wave. She turned away, reaching out for the handle on her driver's side door.

"Hey, Bella, watch out for that door!" Jacob called. A chuckle barked it's way out of her, deeper for bubble in her throat. She got into her car and put the seatbelt on. All four of them were at the doorway: Billy in his wheelchair, the tall and bulky Jacob just behind him, and Sue with her arm around Charlie. Bella raised her hand, palm outwards, and then pulled away.

(~*~)

"What's on your mind, Bella?" Carlisle asked, causing her to glance over at him.

"I was just thinking about Charlie," Bella answered.

It was three hours into their road trip, and they were speeding eastward down I-90. Since the weather was overcast for all of the Pacific Northwest, Carlisle could safely sit beside her up front in the passenger seat, where the windows weren't tinted. Alice had told them that she'd send advance warning should Carlisle need to get into the backseat.

Even though orientation didn't start for Jasper, Alice and Bella until September 5th, they had to leave early, since Carlisle was due to start his job at the Porter Medical Center on August 28th. His new job was part of the reason Carlisle had given for wanting to ride with Bella. He wanted the time to spend with her that he wouldn't have later. Carlisle preferred to work long hours in the first several months of any job to create a good impression, and technically, most hospitals expected it of their most recent hires.

So Alice and Jasper got to drive his Mercedes, while Esme and Maggie took the Lexus - as a matter of fact, Bella could just make out the Lexus a few cars down and one lane over, keeping pace. Rosalie had already retrieved her red convertible BMW out of the garage when she and Edward came for graduation. Bella recalled that Rosalie had taken it out for a spin several times during the holidays. She had been surprised to learn that Rosalie had an affinity for cars, which was mostly indulged in when she was back in the Cullen home. Now that Rosalie had her own vehicle with her again, Bella hoped that it would help to refocus her energies.

The summer had flown by so fast after graduation that Bella had hardly time to stop and think. So much had happened, even beyond preparing to leave for college, ending her job at the video store, saying goodbye to her friends, and packing up to move out of Charlie's house. Her father had certainly offered her one surprise after another during the summer months. Standing with Carlisle to present her with a brand new car had been only the mildest.

Carlisle shut the book he'd been thumbing through. He'd been reading some of his favorites to Bella, but obviously he'd noticed when her thoughts wandered. "Speaking from a father's perspective, I'm sure he'll miss you as much as you'll miss him, if not more."

Bella hid her inner wince. Carlisle's comment made her feel a little guilty that she wasn't dwelling on the fact that she was leaving Charlie behind. The past year and a half living with her father had made her love him so much more, and she knew that she'd done the best she could to spend time with him. Also, Bella took comfort in the fact that with all the Quileutes there, particularly Sue, he wouldn't be alone. "I _will _miss him, but that wasn't what I meant."

"Oh?"

"I just still can't believe what he's known all this time."

"You don't give your father enough credit."

"Oh, please, you were just as surprised."

"Yes, but now I know not to underestimate him."

"You know how he told me?" Bella asked, knowing full well she'd never mentioned how their conversation about the Cullens being vampires had gotten started. "Charlie asked how comfortable I'm going to be knowing that everyone in the house can hear my bowel movements. Worked his way up to it so that I didn't know what he was saying until he was saying it."

Carlisle was chuckling. "I can imagine your face."

"Yeah, well, finding out the truth about Jacob _really_ knocked me on my ass." Bella glanced quickly at Carlisle. "Sorry."

"I have heard the word 'ass' before, Bella. Just not from you." Carlisle raised an eyebrow. "I've noticed that you are a bit more . . . uninhibited with your language since you learned about your cousin's secret."

"Yeah, well . . . Okay, I don't really have a response to that. Maybe all the surprises of the summer have just made me loosen my tongue a bit. The supernatural world is a bit more prevalent than I thought. And Jacob's only a distant cousin, or it would be my secret, too."

"That's true. If there had been any possibility of you becoming one of the wolf shape shifters, it would have happened almost as soon as you started spending time with us. Even so, there's only one female that's phased."

Bella nodded sadly. "Poor Leah. I really hope the rest of the tribe can help her overcome her guilt for having caused Harry's heart attack."

"And subsequently, her brother's transformation." Carlisle sighed. "It is a good thing that we are moving away from Forks. If I had known that just our presence would cause even one family so much grief…"

"Hey," Bella briefly took her hand off the wheel to touch Carlisle's arm. "Harry's passing was a sad thing, but the wolves are not unhappy about being wolves. You are not to blame anymore than Leah is. If it were possible I'd knock both your guilty heads together. You've never done anything wrong, and Leah needs to learn to deal with what life has handed her."

Carlisle chuckled. "Apart from the bit about knocking heads together, that sounds like something I might say. Sometimes, Bella, I think I've influenced you too much."

"All for the better, Carlisle." She smiled at him. "Though I am sorry that the tribe never quite welcomed you with open arms."

"There is peace between us, that is enough."

"Yeah, well, with Charlie acting as Switzerland, I would have hoped for more."

"You can't force a friendship, Bella."

"No," Bella agreed with a sigh. She gestured to his book. "Will you continue with the Robert Frost?"

"Perhaps later," Carlisle answered, putting the book away in a satchel he'd brought with him. "There's a nature walk dedicated to his poetry in Middlebury."

"Yeah? How does that work?" Bella frowned.

"It's a path through the woods with places to stop and read his poems. It's called the Robert Frost Trail. The idea is that they are the same woods that inspired his work. Robert lived in many places that inspired him, but he did tell me once how fond he was of the woods of Vermont."

"You knew Robert Frost?"

"I did."

"_Cool_."

Carlisle smiled. "I can't say that we were very intimate, but I had much respect for his talent, and he was rather fond of my conversation. Perhaps you'd like to do the walk together with me sometime?"

"That'd be nice." Bella agreed, carefully changing lanes so that the vehicle behind her could pass. "I want to hear more about the juicy stuff. How many other famous people have you met? Did you know Kerouac? Or Marilyn Monroe?"

"Sadly, no to the first. Sadly, yes to the second, not long before she died."

"You knew Marilyn Monroe?"

"Bella, are you saying no one has told you about my small walk-on part in her last movie, _The Misfits_?"

"What?" Bella looked over at Carlisle. His face was completely deadpan, not giving anything away, and because it was Carlisle, that tipped her off. "Oh, you're such a liar!" Laughing, she took her right hand off the wheel to give his shoulder a light punch. Apparently, it wasn't light enough. "Ow."

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Bella protested as Carlisle eased her hand back over to him to have a look.

"Good," he said after a second, releasing her hand again. "I wouldn't have let you do that if I'd thought you were going to hurt yourself."

"_Let me do that_… that's right, I almost forgot that I'm riding in the car with Superman."

"Hardly."

"Close enough." Bella sighed. "Would you object if I turned the radio on?"

"Not at all."

A couple minutes passed while Bella scanned through stations. It was all either commercials, static, or a song she just wasn't interested in. She gave up, slapping the stereo off. "So much for the music portion of our program."

Carlisle reached into his satchel again. "If you don't mind a little Beatles…" Carlisle slipped a CD into her player. "Love Me Do" started playing.

"You're a Beatles fan?" Bella asked, somewhat surprised.

"Yes, why do you sound so startled?"

"I dunno," Bella shrugged. "I guess I always pictured you listening to classical music."

Carlisle snorted. Seriously, he _snorted_. "What do you think I am, some sort of intellectual snob, too old-fashioned to appreciate new things?"

"Hey, the Beatles aren't exactly _new_, Carlisle." Bella slanted a teasing glance over at him.

"No, but they were revolutionary. I don't think there are many musicians today that don't cite the Beatles as inspiration."

"Um, okay, I'll buy that."

"You'll 'buy that'?"

"C'mon, Carlisle, this stuff was forty years ago. It's more like today's artists were inspired by the musicians who were inspired by the Beatles."

"You really take pleasure in making me feel old, don't you, Bella?"

Bella laughed, capitulating. "Never, Carlisle."

"It seems I can never enjoy the Beatles without taking some flack. Edward hates them."

"No, Edward _hates_ them? How can anyone not like the Beatles?"

"He thinks that there hasn't been any good music since the fifties. I don't know if he feels the Beatles were responsible for that, but he never lets me play them."

"What a twerp."

"'Twerp'? Now who's being old-fashioned?"

"I guess we're just a couple of old fuddy-duddies, Carlisle." Bella reached over and turned up the volume. "I think the Beatles are awesome."

Without further ado, she started singing along, badly, to "She Loves You," making Carlisle laugh.

"Y'know," Bella said after a bit. "Whenever Mom needed a pick-me-up she would play the Beatles. She'd grab both my hands and dance me around the living room."

Carlisle smiled. "I'm looking forward to meeting your mother on Friday."

"It was lucky that she and Phil were going to be in Cleveland for a game. I haven't seen her in a year."

"It was too bad she couldn't make it to your graduation."

Bella shrugged. "Yeah, but I wouldn't have wanted her making the trip when she was that sick anyway. Speaking of Mom, would you mind doing me a favor? My phone is in my bag in the backseat. Could you get it out and send her a message?"

"Certainly." Carlisle reached behind Bella. "What would you like me to say?"

"'Hi, Mom. Been on the road since eight. I'm safe. It's good driving weather. Love you, Bella.'"

Carlisle obligingly sent the "all's well" to Renee.

(~*~)

It was a testament to the vastness of the state that when the group made their first pit stop after three hundred and twenty miles, they were still in Washington. The sight of a Lexus and a Mercedes at the pumps definitely caused some heads to turn. Bella saw a guy walk up to Alice while she was filling the tank, and then back off when Jasper got out and wrapped an arm around her. Once the stranger had turned away, Alice gave her mate an affectionate nudge in the ribs with her elbow.

They found free public parking, and walked to a deli for Bella's lunch. As a precaution, Jasper decided to stick with the cars. Michael's Market and Bistro was inviting, with large bay windows, open floors, and a glass display case of baked goods. There was even a rack of locally made wines, and for a moment Bella was actually tempted to try one. Not, of course, that she could – or would. Still, she wondered how strict the Cullens would be on that – whether Carlisle or Maggie would buy her one if asked.

Setting aside all thoughts of underage drinking, Bella ordered an Italian panini and bought a soda. She found herself a seat, and Alice quickly slid in beside her. None of the Cullens were choosing to put on a display of eating food. Still, to make five people and only one panini look less conspicuous, Carlisle wandered into the market and Esme purchased a bottle of water to fiddle with its cap.

"How are you enjoying your first road trip?" Alice asked Bella.

"Carlisle's good company," Bella answered with a smile. "I'm actually really enjoying the driving. It feels so …" Bella stopped and drew in a deep breath through her nose, "freeing."

"Not tiring out yet, then?" Maggie asked.

"Not in the least," Bella answered, and took a large bite of her lunch, the melted mozzarella stretching from mouth to bread.

"I am, though," Alice said.

Bella blinked at her, pulling in a stray piece of spinach with her tongue. "What?"

"No offense, but I need to drive faster. Jasper and I are going to drive ahead. We all are, actually."

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to hold you guys up." Bella's face began to color, and she fumbled for a napkin to cover her mouth. "Gosh, and you have to stop and watch me eat."

"Bella, we've seen you eat plenty of times," Maggie pointed out. "As we will many times more."

Alice nudged Bella slightly with her shoulder. "Don't get uncomfortable now. It's a little late to switch to campus housing."

"Wouldn't dream of it." Bella sipped from her soda slowly. "Um, do I still talk in my sleep?"

All three women answered at once.

"Nope, not at all," came from Alice.

"Not every time," Maggie said.

"It's very endearing." Esme narrowed her eyes at Alice.

Bella sagged, hiding her face against the tabletop. Esme let out a comforting chuckle and reached across the table to rub her shoulder reassuringly.

"Relax, Bella, it's mostly unintelligible," Maggie's soothing voice reassured.

"Though we all enjoyed hearing you murmur 'foot rub' the night of the prom." Alice was tittering.

"Oh, God." Bella sat straight up, but she laughed with all of them.

"So, are you and Carlisle likely to pick up the pace?" Maggie asked.

Esme's eyes widened, and her lips moved fractionally as she murmured an admonishment. Not noticing, Bella blinked at Maggie as she took a second to mentally shift gears. "I don't mind letting Carlisle drive," she responded. "I really don't want to hold you guys back from doing what you would normally do."

Esme shook her head. "If you're having fun driving, Bella, then you should. Don't let these two pressure you."

"I'm not doing any pressuring," Alice protested. This time Bella caught the glare sent Maggie's way.

"No one's pressuring me. Carlisle's going to drive part of the time anyway."

"No, Bella, Esme's right. It's your car; it's your college road trip. You can drive. You _should_ drive."

Bella shrugged. It didn't really matter either way, as long as she wasn't burdening anyone. When they all made their way back to the cars and onto the highway again, Bella did drive.

(~*~)

Bella finally stopped driving when she and Carlisle made their next pit stop in Missoula, Montana. She got in a good stretch of her limbs, and filled her stomach with a leisurely dinner. The restaurant was called Mackenzie River Pizza Co, and Bella swore she'd never tasted pizza like it.

"Hungry?" Carlisle had asked her as she reached for a fourth slice. His own solitary slice of the veggie pizza, put on his plate for appearances' sake, remained untouched. They sat across from each other in the bi-colored booth, Bella's fall jacket hanging on the hook behind her.

"This stuff is _good_. I'm going to have to remember to try pesto this way sometime." Bella chewed thoughtfully. "You know I like to cook, but… the smell isn't going to bother you, will it? It's just the taste of food?"

Carlisle leaned back and folded his hands together. "The aroma of food cooking isn't exactly appetizing, but it's not nearly as bad as its taste. After all, the smell of dirt doesn't necessarily bother you, but you wouldn't want to eat it."

"Is there something wrong with your pizza?" The waitress came back to the table with a pitcher of ice water. Her question was directed at Carlisle. In fact, everything was directed at Carlisle as she reached across the table for Bella's water glass.

"The food is fine," Carlisle answered graciously.

"Then is there something else that you'd like?" Behind the waitress, Bella rolled her eyes at Carlisle, grinning suggestively.

"Yes, my lovely companion and I would like to continue our conversation in privacy."

Bella didn't get to see her face, but the woman actually flinched before she shuffled away without a word. Bella followed her retreat, and then turned shocked eyes on Carlisle. "_Carlisle,_ that was very unlike you."

"She was being rude to you."

"Oh, please, she was too drawn to you to even notice I was here." Bella grabbed her glass and raised it before taking a sip. "I'm lucky I got more water."

"Exactly. I am obviously here with you tonight, and she dismissed you as though you were nothing to me."

"Carlisle, are you seriously unaware of how attractive you are? I'm certain that there isn't a woman in this restaurant who hasn't looked your way at least once. Not one of them is going to look at me and think I'm any sort of competition. They probably take me for your niece or something."

"Hmm, it seems I'm not the one who is unaware of my own appeal. If I won't let a stranger dismiss you, Bella, I certainly will not let you dismiss yourself." Carlisle placed his hand over Bella's. "You are a beautiful young woman who is intelligent, selfless and compassionate. I enjoy seeing the world again through your eyes as you experience and learn from it."

Bella stared into Carlisle's earnest face, a little at loss for words.

"Trust me, Bella," Carlisle continued, giving her hand a slight squeeze before drawing his own away. "You are more important than any date I might have sitting across from me at this table."

Bella sipped her water quietly for a moment. " 'Seeing the world again through my eyes', 'more important than a date'…so, I _am_ your niece."

Carlisle laughed. "You're a wiseass, that's what you are," he said, leaning back with an affectionate grin on his face. Bella crinkled her nose at him, and stole his slice of pizza.

(~*~)

They spent the night in Bozeman. Carlisle took the first exit off the highway when he finally got Bella to admit that she was tired. Walking into the lobby of the Hilton Garden Inn with Carlisle, Bella was surprised yet pleased to see the other four Cullens waiting for them with a room already booked.

Bella shook her head. "Alice, what is the point of driving so fast if you're just going to end up in the same place, at the same time I am there?"

Alice merely grinned, putting an arm around Bella as the six of them got on the elevator. "There will be sun in the morning. We won't be able to avoid it completely, but I figured we could spend an hour or so inside the Museum of the Rockies before we get on the road again."

They all congregated at the museum's entrance the following morning. While Jasper took a closer look at the bronze dinosaur outside the entrance, Bella looked up and breathed in the sky. Even with the clouds, Montana was all mountains and sky, and it made Bella feel both exposed and empowered. She wasn't surrounded by trees or city buildings like she had been in Forks and Phoenix. In Montana, the space was just beautiful.

Glancing over, Bella caught Carlisle watching her and she gave him a smile. He returned it and extended his hand out to her, leading her into the now-open museum. Bella was actually pretty psyched to see the dinosaur fossils, more than she expected she would be. Being able to stand so close to the bones of an actual Tyrannosaurus rex was pretty awe-inspiring. The planetarium was pretty sweet, too, and inwardly Bella appreciated the irony of hiding from the sun under a facsimile of the night sky.

There was cloud cover when the group emerged, but it was too variable for them to be able to take advantage of the outdoor living history farm. Bella was sorry for that, because Esme was clearly disappointed. After a round of farewell hugs, they all got into their respective vehicles. Bella's SUV was the only one that did not have tinted windows up front.

Bella didn't really blink an eye when Carlisle got into the passenger seat beside her. All three vehicles took off, and Bella quickly lost sight of the Lexus and Mercedes. Carlisle took advantage of the time to read her some more Robert Frost, which he continued to do once they were again heading east down I-90. Bella wondered if Carlisle planned to scoot down in his seat if the sun came out. The mental picture was so awkward and amusing that she laughed out loud.

Carlisle shut the book. "Alright, I know that was not in response to the poem."

"I'm sorry," Bella said and explained. "My image of you just looked so uncomfortable."

"I assure you have I no intention of 'scooting'."

"Y'know, we could've gotten one of my hoodies out of the trunk for you to wear."

"Thank you very much for the offer, but the backseat will do just fine for me." Carlisle shut his book and put it away. "I see now that reading Robert Frost to you this trip is out."

"What, why?"

"Bella, you've become distracted by your own thoughts both times I've shared."

"Oh, no. I'm sorry. I really do enjoy it. Really." Bella smiled at Carlisle. Trying to express her sincerity, she threw in a little humor. "Obviously, it triggered my imagination this time, right? Please, read some more."

Carlisle shook his head. "Not right now."

"Okay."

"Why the pout?"

"I'm not pouting." Bella's denial was greeted with silence. She took a moment to reassess. "I just don't want you thinking less of me because I got distracted. I really do enjoy poetry and literature, Robert Frost included."

"I would never think less of you, Bella. There's nothing wrong with getting lost in your own thoughts."

A quick chirpy beep sounded in the car. At the alert from his phone, Carlisle retrieved the message sent to him. "Looks like it's time for me to get into the backseat."

"Alice?" Bella asked.

Carlisle nodded, undoing the seatbelt that Bella had requested he wear for her own comfort.

"Shouldn't I just pull over?" She asked as he maneuvered his way to the back. She kept her eyes on the road.

"Not necessary. Just don't let me distract your driving."

Human nature made Bella glance over at those words. When her gaze landed on the back of Carlisle's pants, she quickly jerked it back onto the road. To cover her embarrassment, even though she had no idea whether Carlisle even noticed the direction of her gaze, she made a sort of coughing noise in her throat. "Um, you putting your seatbelt on back there?"

"Yes, Mom."

"Ugh, don't do that," Bella muttered, only to have Carlisle laugh at her.

Bella kept her eyes straight ahead, and put the visor down when the sun broke through the clouds. It was somewhat in her eyes, but she didn't think she'd have trouble. Several seconds passed before Bella noticed the lights.

At first she caught it in her peripheral vision, a couple bright spots. She glanced over once inattentively, and then a second time much more conscientiously. Her console had become a canvas of little lights. Some were simply white; others contained a spectrum of color. Bella had seen prisms before. For a time Renee had a crystal dangling from her rearview mirror, and on a sunny day it could cause maybe twelve or so mini points of light and color to dance around the interior of the car. A young girl, Bella had enjoyed it when they would land on her skin. At that moment, what was happening in her car was an exponential version of that memory. It was like the sun hitting a multitude of tiny crystals at once, subtly yet definitively speckling her car.

Bella's mouth opened slightly as she slowly moved her hand into the subtle sparkle, compelled to try to touch. Her fingers were outlined in yellow from the sun that lit her palm. Daylight shadows blanketed the back of her hand, emphasizing the sparkles that were landing there, larger on her flesh than they had been on the console.

Bella looked up into the rearview mirror. Carlisle was watching her silently, his face and neck reacting to the sunlight. Bella refocused on the road. Making an impulsive decision, she moved into the breakdown lane.

"What are you doing?" Carlisle asked.

"I want to look at you."

Out of traffic flow, Bella stopped the car and twisted around in her seat.

It was his eyes she saw first. She immediately found herself caught up in his gaze. Carlisle's eyes looked into hers, bright gold and earthy, just as she remembered they had been the first time she'd seen him. Carlisle had always both stimulated and comforted her, his brightness making her feel more alert and alive, his earthiness giving a solidity and foundation, something she could trust. As the sun hit his skin, it set off the shine in his golden eyes, and Bella couldn't look away, as much as she wanted to see everything else about him.

She moved her head slightly, a hesitating motion. Permission came through from Carlisle: the tiniest nod of his head and release of his gaze, though his eyes never left her. Her own gaze moving slowly, Bella looked at his high cheekbones. They were smooth, almost sculpted, and white. For the first time in her life, Bella truly understood how white was actually every color instead of the absence of color.

Carlisle's nose was ideal for his face – ideal for anyone's face. It was narrow and straight, with nothing too round or too pointed. Bella looked lower, at the lips that - despite his vampire status - were still naturally a pale pink. They, too, sparkled, but not quite with the same intensity. The contrast with the diamond skin of his face made them look as soft to the touch as Bella knew them to be from all the times Carlisle had kissed her cheek or the top of her head.

Beneath his lower lip there was a bit of a dip and a shadow, a contour accentuating the proportional perfection of his chin. Another shadow beneath his jaw played in contrast to the iridescent skin of his neck. The light and shadows played along the lines of his neck, hinting at the strength of Carlisle's body.

Bella became aware of the soft sound of her breathing as she stopped looking at each individual feature of Carlisle that the sun was dancing along. She drew the focus of her gaze back, taking him in as a whole. Colors sparkled at her from Carlisle's white skin, and for a moment Bella almost felt afraid. She wanted to hide her eyes. Carlisle was an angel. How in this world had such a creature chosen to befriend her?

She met his golden gaze again, and was quietly struck by his expression. She saw her friend, nervous and yet faithful. Bella knew that Carlisle didn't want her to be afraid of him, and that he had seen her moment of fear. Her gaze left his eyes and sparkling face and she looked up at his hair. His blond hair was slightly wavy and just long enough to touch the base of his neck. It framed everything that the sun had shown to be ethereal, and it reminded Bella that this was Carlisle, just Carlisle.

He was as he had always been: a man that had faced great odds, self-loathing and extreme solitude, a man that had overcome them with the strength of his compassion, reason and golden heart. Time - too much time - had finally given him others that could appreciate him and share his life with him. Bella was one of them. She would never have to fear from Carlisle. Bella actually felt her heart give a single hard pound as devotion and affection rose in her.

In the intense quiet of their once-again locked gazes, Bella smiled softly. From the backseat, Carlisle leaned forward and held his hand out to her, causing more colored light to land on the sides of the two front seats. Bella placed her hand in his, and they remained there for several moments in silent communion.

(~*~)

"Carlisle, can I ask you something?" Bella spoke from her slumped position in the passenger seat. It was early evening and the sun was hidden again. They had stopped for gas in Terry, MT but drove on another forty minutes to a Chinese restaurant in Glendive. Once again, Bella had let Carlisle take over the wheel after her stomach was full from dinner.

"Anything," he answered her. His response was easy and open, and Bella took a brief second to watch him watch the road. He wore a button-down underneath a blue sweater, and the sleeves were rolled up. Carlisle's strong, pale arms were showing from just below the elbows out to the hands that casually gripped the steering wheel.

Bella look down, twisting her small hands together. "I was thinking about the Denali coven. Tanya and Kate seemed, well, overly sensual."

"Their sexuality is certainly a large part of their nature."

"Yeah, I kind of got the hint when Tanya propositioned Charlie."

Carlisle turned his head for a moment to face Bella, eyebrows raised. "I wasn't aware that had happened."

"Nothing _actually_ happened. Charlie respectfully declined. He and I were both pretty embarrassed."

"You were there?"

Bella nodded. "That's the only way I'd know about it. Charlie wouldn't have shared something like that with me. But, it got me thinking…" Bella quickly spat out the next words, realizing the implication of what she'd just said. "Not about _them_, yuck. About, um…well, I was wondering…"

"Bella, why don't you take a moment to breathe and figure out what you want to say."

Bella took a deep breath. "Thank you."

A couple seconds passed.

"Do Tanya and Kate often have sex with human men?"

"Yes. They enjoy doing so quite regularly, as did Irina before she met Laurent."

"So I guess that means it's possible."

"Yes, it is possible for a human and a vampire to engage in sexual intercourse."

Bella snorted. "Thank you for saying that so stiffly and making me feel comfortable."

Carlisle quickly changed his tone. "I am sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to revert to formalities."

"S'ok. What I don't understand… Listen, your flesh is supposed to be impenetrable, and, well, cold. I figured that only a vampire could – have sex – with a vampire female."

"We aren't cold to each other."

"Right! But wouldn't a vampire woman be cold and, um, not soft? I mean, it makes perfect sense the other way around. A vampire male and a human female…" Bella stopped talking.

"Yes, physically it does make sense that a vampire male could mate with a human female, though I would be worried about the repercussions on her body. He would have to have a superior sense of control. That might explain why I know of no circumstance of such a thing happening."

"So you've never…?"

"No."

A beat. "Carlisle, you have…?"

"Yes, I have."

"With one of the Denali coven?"

"No."

"I'm sorry, I'm getting a little too personal."

"Not at all, Bella." Carlisle smiled. "Please, you can feel perfectly free to ask me anything. I am sorry that once again I failed to make you comfortable. Sexuality simply hasn't been a part of my life for a long time."

"Like your immunity to human blood?"

"No. I am very much still a male." Carlisle looked over at Bella. "I have no intention of suppressing that part of my nature. I seem to have just simply gotten distracted from it once Esme and Maggie became a couple."

His eyes went back to the road. Bella very carefully chose her next words. "Did their falling in love hurt you that much?"

"What?" Carlisle seemed very surprised by her question. "No, I wasn't hurt by it. I was disappointed, certainly, but I never felt any negativity towards Esme choosing Maggie. How did you know about that? Not that I was hiding it from you, but I know I never mentioned it."

"Alice said something in passing once. I figured it out." Bella watched Carlisle's expression, getting ready to tentatively push. "You kind of just said that you stopped thinking about sex after Esme picked Maggie instead of you. Are you sure that you haven't been hurt by it? Maybe not physically or emotionally, but lifestyle-wise. I mean, if you used to, and now you don't…"

Carlisle let out a breath. "There are many different ways I could answer that, Bella. In one way, you're raising the question of whether a vampire has a subconscious. That I was wounded in a way I was unaware of. While it's certainly an interesting theory to peruse, that we might possess a subconscious that can guide our future actions, I feel that something else comes into play in my case.

"While I have no direct memory of experiencing sex as a human, I am certain that I was not a virgin. The first time I had an intimate encounter in my immortal life, much of it seemed too familiar for it to have been my first time. The feel of a woman's curves, the proximity of her body against mine, I was almost instinctually aware of certain ways to touch the female body to induce pleasure."

Unaware of her mouth going dry, Bella swallowed as she listened.

"Those encounters were casual, Bella, and I admit that I now have some regret for engaging in them. I was always on good terms with those women, but the deep affection I've seen and known since has revealed to me what was missing. Forming a family has stabilized me in so many ways. I value the presence of Maggie and Esme and each of my children in my life. A healthy sex life is important, but it's not as important to me as my family."

"Do you think that having a family has held you back?"

"No. I just haven't had the interest."

"Do you ever get lonely?"

"Sometimes."

Reaching out with her left hand, Bella placed it over Carlisle's right. He released the wheel and turned over the fingers that lay under Bella's. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it. "I value your presence in my life, too, Bella," he said before letting go.

(~*~)

Bella's sleep was restless. Her dreams were elusive, strong in her mind and then vague again. She felt warm, as if she were floating. Strong arms were around her, holding and touching her. The hands were gentle and firm. Bella didn't know where they were touching her, just that it felt good and she didn't want them to stop. Cool lips breezed across her bare chest, blond hair tickling her chin.

It was him. She wanted him; she was devoted. Then her sense of her lover was gone again. Where did he go? Her body continued to float, naked and exposed, but not vulnerable. She felt strong, powerful, and his hands were on her again. Pleasure was there, waiting for her. She just had to accept it. Bella opened her arms, lifting them to touch his white skin. She moved in to kiss his lips, though she never saw his face. It didn't matter. Her dreams knew who he was.

(~*~)

Bella was still asleep. Carlisle pondered whether to wake her while he went inside to book a room, but decided against it. Locking all the doors, he left Bella inside the parked car at the hotel entrance. The Hampton Inn wasn't a terribly ritzy accommodation, but Bella just needed a comfortable place to sleep. He might have found any number of hotels in Jamestown, where he'd made a pit stop for gas, but Bella had wanted to keep going, despite the fact that it was ten at night. He didn't blame her. However, she was restless, and he didn't like seeing her sleeping so uncomfortably. So once he'd again filled up the Toyota's gas tank, he'd sought out accommodations.

The man working overnight behind the desk was sipping coffee when Carlisle approached. Beside him a pencil lay over a crossword puzzle that was only one-third filled in. "Something I can do for you?" he asked.

"I need a room for the night, please."

"Are you here for the wedding?"

"No, just passing through. My friend and I need to rest."

"Well, the wedding has taken up most of our rooms." The man moved over to his computer, tilting his head forward so that his prematurely receding hairline was more obvious. "Just as I thought. We have only singles left."

"That shouldn't be a problem," Carlisle said. He wouldn't need his own bed anyway. "It must be some wedding to fill up this hotel."

"You ain't kidding."

Carlisle continued to make small talk while they completed their transactions. Toting the room key, Carlisle made his way back to Bella. Even though he shut the door gently, she stirred and slowly blinked at him. "Where are we?"

"Eau Claire, Wisconsin. It's about three in the morning. I've just gotten us a room." Carlisle slid the car key into the ignition.

With a yawn and a nod, Bella stretched her arms and legs as much as she could in the small space, making a slight squealing noise as she did. Carlisle noticed the way her muscles gave a slight tremble while she had them extended, and then eased when she relaxed. When she settled back into the seat, Bella smiled at him watching her. "Are you going to be taking us there, or are we leaving the car parked at the entrance?"

"I was just waiting to make sure that you're awake and comfortable." Carlisle started the engine and pulled into a parking spot about 300 feet away. "The key card will let us in through that side door."

Bella nodded at him again, and Carlisle could tell that she was still quite sleepy. Even without his superior speed, he'd made it out of the vehicle, grabbed hold of her bag in the backseat and reached her passenger door before she'd completely stepped out. "Here, let me help you inside."

Carlisle put his free arm around her, and they walked steadily through the darkness to the barely lit door. She leaned against him, giving him her weight. Her smaller body felt warm against his. As they entered the hotel and walked down the hallway he could feel her heat begin to spread to him. Bella was tucked under his arm, and tiredly she pressed her face against his chest. In response he gave her a light squeeze, noting how smooth and soft she felt against the bare skin of his arm.

Cuddling Bella had always been easy, though this was the first time they'd done so in a walking position. Her barely awakened state made her feel warmer and softer, curled into his side. It was enough that when she exhaled, even through the two layers of fabric he wore, her breath brushed hot against his nipple. Though a part of him wished he didn't have to, Carlisle eased away from Bella to use the keycard on their suite door. Flicking on the light, he revealed the small clean room, which was completely dominated by a king-size bed.

The rest of the room held the basics: desk, chair, bureau, television and bathroom in the corner. He heard Bella softly let out a tired moan, and imagined the bed looked very attractive to her. Carlisle set Bella's bag just inside the door. "Go ahead and change. I'm going out to the car to get my laptop."

When Carlisle returned, he saw that Bella had rearranged the lights so that only two lamps were lit: one by the bed and one on the desk. Bella was in the bathroom. He could hear the water running from the sink faucet as she brushed her teeth, taking "a human moment," as she was so found of saying. There would be a lot more of Bella and her human moments in his new home. Carlisle was looking forward to it. He set up his laptop on the desk and accessed the hotel's free Internet, barely taking note of the mirror that faced him.

Carlisle turned when Bella emerged from the bathroom, wearing a tank top and pajama shorts. The outfit revealed an expanse of her smooth skin, no more than her usual summer outfits did, but somehow this seemed much more intimate. Her eyes were still barely open and she gave him a half-smile as she made her way over to the bed.

"Sweet dreams," Carlisle said.

"Thanks," she mumbled back with a yawn. Bella turned and pulled back the duvet, moving aside some of the pillows. Before she made it under the blankets there was a moment when she was crawling on all fours, her backside to him. She looked adorable, a sort of sleepy cute accompanied with lovely curves. There was no denying that Bella had a beautiful body.

Respectfully, Carlisle looked away, and when Bella turned off the bedside lamp, he did the same with his. Her breathing slowed and she very quickly fell asleep. On the desk before him, the latest article from the Journal of American Medical Association was up on his laptop. Even as Carlisle read it, his focus was split. Sex was very much on his mind. Prior to today in the car, it had been months since the last time he had thought about the fact that he'd been abstinent for nearly a century.

He hadn't really minded. He meant every word to Bella when he'd told her that having a family was more worthwhile than physical gratification. Sex had simply been put on the back burner.

Unless he was thinking about it.

He was, just like he'd told Bella, still very much male. The desire to be with a woman -to have the pleasure of feeling her beneath him, around him, under his hands, her taste on his tongue- it was as much a part of his existence as the need to eat. Only, unlike his hunger, it was more easily suppressed. However, with Bella slumbering behind him, shifting slowly in her sleep, Carlisle felt no need to inhibit his thoughts.

Closing his laptop, he leaned back in his chair and allowed himself to sink into the fantasy, an unknown woman he might one day touch, drawing from her a shared giving and taking, a release solely focused on mutual exploration and pleasure. Her body was naked against his own, her skin smooth under his hands. He could imagine himself kissing her, on her lips and down, along her clavicle as she arched her neck backwards, granting him more access. Her sweat was salty on his tongue.

That thought drew him up short. He had no recollection of ever tasting a woman's sweat. Yet the fantasy was taking a clearer shape, of skin flushing pink from the blood that pulsed underneath it. It was a very attractive idea. And a frightening one.

His conversation with Bella had taken a deeper root than he'd realized. He'd known that it was bringing his own sexuality to the forefront of his mind again. While he'd expected a fantasy to result, he hadn't thought it would feature making love with a human woman. Of course, making love was an essential part of the daydream. Carlisle was no longer capable of fantasizing about sex without deep mutual affection and connection as elements. That made the fantasy its own kind of torture, inevitably resulting in an increased sense of loneliness.

All the same, the fantasy had its own pull, and Carlisle was willing to indulge. The need for it seemed especially strong tonight. Carlisle closed his eyes. As he started to let himself get lost in the images in his mind, he slowly picked up on a change in Bella's scent. A sensual musk was added to her usual aroma. Bella, too, it seemed, had been affected by their discussion. The realization caused a flush of pleasure in Carlisle, spreading from center to head and toe.

Startled, Carlisle opened his eyes wide. He was immediately confronted with his own reflection in the mirror, partially lit by the moonlight coming from the window. His face clearly transmitted all the sensations he was going through. In the reflection behind his face, Carlisle could also see the image of Bella's form under the covers. The realization of his circumstances hit him hard.

It was the middle of the night. He was turned on. He was also alone in a hotel room with an equally aroused Bella. Bella, who was currently lying splayed out on a king-size bed. Carlisle felt relief that she, at least, was unconscious and unaware of the highly awkward situation. Carlisle took a single heavy breath, and then immediately closed off his breathing.

The scent of Bella's sleepy arousal carried clearly in the room. That was science. The room was small, and the warm air was carrying her enticing aroma easily. Of course, the hotel was turning up the heat; the nights were newly beginning their seasonal chill. In fact, the room was getting warmer as he sat there.

Why did they end up in such a small room? Had it really been this small, with such a large bed, when they'd first walked in?

Carlisle closed his eyes, tightening his lips together. It was absolute foolishness for him to be thinking that the room had gotten smaller. He had to stop and take true stock of what was happening. The distraction to his senses was not normal.

There was no doubt that he was feeling a strong sexual tension. It was natural enough, after the conversation he and Bella had shared. Bella's age, her youth, made her prime for the feelings of desire. Her hormones would be easily triggered subconsciously and, evidently, unconsciously as well. His own reaction to it was clearly due to his long hiatus.

It was a perfectly reasonable result from the existing set of cumulating circumstances.

From the bed, Bella let out a small moan.

He needed to get out of there.

Carlisle was out of the room, down the hallway and outside breathing the night air in a flash.

After a moment or two, his head began to clear. His lustfulness was abating, and Carlisle was grateful to get it under control again. He blamed himself, of course. He shouldn't have let himself begin to fantasize. His intentions may have been innocent, but Bella was in the room with him. His thoughts weren't private, and even though Bella would never know them they'd changed the atmosphere of that small, warm room.

The moon shone on him as it lowered in the sky, and Carlisle had the silly notion that it was calling him out on his behavior. He had been comfortable discussing his sexuality with Bella, but he also had no business allowing it precedence in her presence. Even though he had no intentions toward her, the room had become thick with tension. He valued Bella's friendship too much to have his own randiness make things awkward between them. Despite their solid connection and trust, Carlisle wouldn't choose to walk around naked in front of her, and he shouldn't have let his thoughts loose with her nearby like he did.

Thank goodness that she would never know, that she remained asleep. Carlisle could only imagine how Bella might have reacted to looking over at him and discovering he had erection. That was an awkwardness thankfully avoided.

"Carlisle…" Bella's sleepy voice carried to him from inside. She must have woken up and noticed that he was gone. Carlisle turned back and reentered the hotel, quickly making his way to reassure her.

(~*~)

The beeping sound of the key card and the rattle of the door handle woke Bella from her sleep. Her dream fled, taking all sensual images with it and leaving her in hazy confusion. Blinking her eyes, she switched on the lamp and turned to look at Carlisle. He'd obviously just entered from outside the room.

"I'm here," he said.

"Where were you?" Her voice was thick from sleep.

"I stepped outside for a moment to think."

"Why did you need to go outside?" Bella rubbed an eye.

"I enjoy thinking underneath the moon."

"The moon?" Bella wasn't sure what Carlisle was talking about. She felt caught somewhere between waking and sleeping, and nothing made sense.

"Yes, it's nearly full."

"Huh." Bella turned off the lamp and laid her head back on the pillow. "I like moonlight. It's beautiful."

Carlisle moved closer, but stopped just shy of the bed. "I'm sorry I startled you by not being here."

Bella was already falling back asleep. "I saw the moon the night I met you," she mumbled with a sigh. If Carlisle answered her, she didn't hear it.

(~*~)

All right, so she'd definitely had some naughty dreams last night. Fully awake, Bella knew this was a fact. Frowning, she looked out the passenger window at the rainy landscape. Carlisle was driving again as they left Wisconsin and continued on route to Chicago. Alice had texted earlier that they would all rendezvous there.

Bella had taken a cold shower that morning. While she couldn't completely recall the details of her dream, she knew that they had been sexy. The proof had been on her underwear. Which meant that, in all likelihood, Carlisle had detected the nature of her dreams. Bella couldn't completely keep down the flush to her cheeks.

Going to the bathroom, eating, the stinky smell of sweat, those things she could handle the Cullens knowing about. But something so personal as her own unwitting horniness while she slept was a little more out of her comfort zone. It was why she felt quiet. It had to be why Carlisle was also fairly pensive today. They'd been on the road for a couple hours and had barely said anything.

But why? She certainly didn't want to talk about it, but why was he so quiet? Carlisle was a doctor, he understood about those sorts of things. He was also her most understanding friend, who had just told her yesterday that they could talk about anything. If she could handle Carlisle sparkling in the sun, then he should be able to handle that she got a little wet while having a naughty dream.

God, how embarrassing.

Maybe he was embarrassed, too? Oh, that was it. Carlisle was embarrassed about how she might react to his knowledge of the theme of her dream last night. She was just making things worse by being silent, and he was only following her lead. Poor Carlisle, he didn't deserve her harsh thoughts.

"Are you looking forward to seeing Chicago again?" Bella asked him, her voice friendly.

"I admit, I am." Carlisle smiled at Bella, and she knew that she had made the right move. "It's much more urban now, of course, then when I lived there with Edward."

"Do you still have your house?"

"Yes. We have a lot of properties around the States."

"Tell me about the one in Chicago. Will I get to see it?"

Their discussion remained easy for the rest of the trip, though there were more frequent lulls in conversation than usual.

(~*~)

It was obvious to Carlisle that Bella enjoyed seeing the rest of their family again when they reunited in Chicago. Alice and Bella had shared a laughing hug, and the silliness of such a thing had made Bella act giddy, an attitude she kept up through the whole visit in the city. Carlisle enjoyed seeing her brighten.

The rain made it possible for them to all book the Architecture River Cruise at the last minute. The popular boat tour of the city lasted less than two hours, and Bella grinned through every wet minute of it. Carlisle was glad that they were able to spend some time off of the road, especially for Bella. The United States were beautiful, and as good a thing as it was that Phil and Renee were going to be in Cleveland, it had limited their opportunities to stop and take their leisure along the way. Poor Bella was locked in by the restrictions of his supernatural family on one end, and by her stepfather's baseball schedule on the other.

After dividing back into the usual pairs, they all drove in tandem the rest of the way to Cleveland, keeping with Bella's human pace. While Bella drove, Carlisle once again obligingly used her phone to text Renee their anticipated arrival time. It was late at night when they finally reached their hotel in Cleveland. Bella had a room booked on the first floor, a few doors down from Renee. The rest of the Cullens had their own larger suite on an upper level. With a hug, Carlisle parted ways with Bella for the first time in days. As he rode the elevator up with the rest of his family, Carlisle realized that he felt a little sad.

(~*~)

Even though it was 11:30 at night, and she was exhausted, Bella walked past her own room and knocked on Phil and Renee's door. It was flung open before she'd completed it. Renee was an older, slightly taller version of Bella. She had laugh lines around her light-brown eyes, which were currently shining with excitement. "Bella!"

"Mom," Bella answered happily. She was whisked into the room, where Phil was sitting up, fully clothed on top of the bed and rubbing his eyes.

"Hello, Bella," he grinned at her. Phil was younger than Bella's mom and, despite being a ball player, was a little doughy. He was talented, though, enough to keep him in work in the minor leagues. Phil ran a hand through his sandy curls. "Did you have a good road trip?"

"Hi, Phil. Yes, I did."

"Oh, I'm so glad to see you made it here in one piece." Renee held her arm around Bella's shoulders.

"Mom…"

"Hush, it's not every year your daughter makes a cross-country road trip. Any number of things could have happened."

"I was perfectly safe the whole time." The irritation combined with reassurance was lost as the words were spoken around Bella's yawn.

"Oh, honey." Renee kissed the top of her head. "Of course you're tired. Have you been to your room yet?"

"Nope, came straight here. Thank you for paying for it, by the way."

"Nonsense. Here, let me walk you to your door." Renee turned her toward the door. "Go back to sleep, Phil, I'll be back in a minute."

Once they were out in the hallway, Renee leaned in to whisper in Bella's ear. "He's been really good, putting up with me tonight. Lord knows he needs his rest before the game tomorrow. He'll be gone before you get up, so he won't join us for breakfast."

They came to a stop at Bella's room, and Renee turned to face her. She ran her hands down Bella's hair, and held them to the sides of her daughter's face, looking at her with a smile. "I'm so proud of you, you know. High school graduate, heading to Middlebury."

"I know, Mom."

"You'll never know until you have a daughter of your own." Renee kissed her forehead and released her. "Now get some rest. I'll see you in the morning."

(~*~)

They all made the effort to eat breakfast in honor of meeting Bella's mother. Bella brought her mother up to their presidential suite in the morning, and Carlisle had made sure that he was first at the door to greet them. "Mrs. Dwyer, it's a pleasure to finally meet you."

Renee blinked at him for a moment, and Carlisle hoped that she wasn't put off by the fact that he hadn't offered his hand. "You must be Carlisle," she said.

"Yes." Carlisle turned and extended his hand out to the rest of the room. "This is my sister Esme, our cousins Maggie and Jasper, and the little pixie-brat rushing in is Alice."

Alice was indeed rushing over, her face eager and grinning. Facing Renee, she tossed an arm around Bella's waist. "I'm so happy to meet you! I've got our morning all planned before your husband's game this afternoon. I'm sure you don't have any objection to the three of us spending some girl time in Tower City?" Alice asked, referring to Cleveland's shopping complex.

"Oh, God, what's Tower City?" Bella demanded, causing Carlisle to let his mouth quirk with amusement.

Renee laughed, infected by Alice's exuberance. Room service arrived wheeling in the cart of food, and the high spirits were kept up throughout breakfast. Carlisle watched as Renee chatted and babbled with all of them. She certainly did look like an older version of Bella, though the eyes weren't the same. Renee was also far more free-spirited, in a way that somewhat reminded him of Alice. It suited her, though Carlisle admitted to himself that he preferred Bella's more reserved ways.

Bella was not normally exuberant. She kept her emotions fairly contained, though Carlisle knew that what she felt, she felt deeply. It made those rare moments when happiness shone out of her all the more significant. Carlisle was witnessing just such a moment as Bella ate breakfast with Renee. The huge grin on Bella's face made her apple cheeks more prominent, and her eyes were alight with laughter. It was clear that Bella loved her mother very much.

Only Bella and Renee went on Alice's shopping trip; Maggie and Esme chose to stay behind. Carlisle felt sympathy for Bella, who would clearly be dragged along in the whirlwinds that were Alice and Renee. He settled down with his laptop, determined to make up for the reading and research time he lost last night.

Bella seemed happy enough when they returned a few hours later. Alice was the only one carrying shopping bags, so they'd obviously stopped at the first floor rooms first.

"Well," Renee said with a sigh as Alice left to put away her bags. "I'm sorry the clouds haven't broken up for the game. It would have been nicer for you and your family."

"We don't mind. We love a good baseball game no matter how overcast it is," Carlisle answered.

"It's true, Mom. I've seen them play in thunderstorms. Rain won't keep this lot away from baseball." Bella plopped down on the couch with a wink at Carlisle. He grinned at her.

"Bella's got it right." Carlisle put his attention back on Renee. "I've been following the Suns for some time now. I can honestly say that I had noticed your husband before I ever met Bella."

"Really?" Renee was surprised and obviously pleased. "Well, obviously you'll meet him after the game. Tell you what, Carlisle, after all the shopping we forced on Bella, she's going to have a lot of bags to carry out in the morning. Come down to our rooms in the morning and give us a hand. You'll get more of a chance to see Phil then."

"It'd be my pleasure."

(~*~)

They'd been able to get good tickets behind the visitor's dugout. Carlisle had to admit, he'd enjoyed being in Progressive Field, though he regretted that Edward wasn't there, too. Baseball was, after all, one of the unifying loves his family shared, and it had all started with him and Edward. Amidst all their cheers when a ball was hit towards Phil at second base, Esme had put a hand on his forearm and gave him a small smile. She had known where his thoughts had gone.

Bella had been more animated than Carlisle had ever seen her. She jumped up and shouted for every Jacksonville Suns player. At one point Maggie had to pretend to be knocked over by her. Though the Suns ending up losing the game, it had been an afternoon well spent, and it was one of the happier moments for Carlisle in the whole trip, second only to the moments he and Bella had shared while pulled over Wednesday morning.

That had been special. Never before had Carlisle exposed himself quite that way. He'd watched Bella with wonder when she'd reached her hand out, letting the soft sparkle set off by his skin settle on her own. He had found her to be precious and beautiful in that moment. They'd locked gazes, and after she'd slowly taken in his appearance there had been that second of fear. He'd felt afraid too, nervous that she would reject him, see him as something otherworldly. Yet, it was Bella, and in his heart he knew that Bella would never turn away from him in that way. He'd been right, and when they'd held hands and looked at each other, _that_ had been one of the happiest moments of his life.

Carlisle smiled, remembering as he watched Bella rush around her room to make sure that she had her things and that all the bags were in order. Phil was in the bathroom checking to make sure no toiletries were left behind while Renee was standing beside him at the doorway. "It's good of you to come help, Carlisle. Thank you."

"It's not a problem."

"Okay," Bella announced. "I'm sure that's it."

Phil emerged from the bathroom and grabbed Bella's largest suitcase. "Time to go then. Carlisle," Phil extended his hand, "it was nice to meet you. I think you're a good man."

Carlisle accepted the shake. "Thank you. You are a fine player, and it was a pleasure to watch your game yesterday."

Phil nodded, and with a glance at his wife he went out the door. Bella had her bag over her shoulder and was reaching for a shopping bag. Carlisle moved to intercept.

"No, let me take those."

"Not all of them, Carlisle," Bella protested.

"I can handle all of them," he said, and fit all nine bags in his hands.

Renee held the door open. "Let's go," she said with a smile. "We don't want to keep Alice and the rest waiting."

Last night a slight rearranging of driving arrangements had occurred. Alice had shared that she would be driving with Bella the rest of the way, and that Carlisle should be with Jasper. Carlisle had been surprised that Alice made the suggestion, but before he could ask why Alice had simply said that she had her reasons for wanting to be with Bella.

Once the three of them reached the lobby, Renee abruptly turned. "Oh, Bella, could you run back to your room before we turn in the key? I think I left my sunglasses in there."

Carlisle noticed Bella glance at the top of her mother's head before giving a quick nod. "Sure, Mom. Be right back."

"Bella's had a wonderful time getting to spend this last day here with you," Carlisle said. "It's nice to see her so happy. I'm also glad to finally have gotten the chance to meet you."

"Mm-hmm." Renee's torso remained twisted while she watched her daughter move away. Once Bella rounded the corner, she snapped back to facing Carlisle. Her expression was not a pleasant one.

"I don't know what the hell Charlie was thinking, but this is not going to fly with me, Dr. Cullen."

"I'm sorry?" Carlisle asked, startled at the unexpected aggression coming from her.

"My daughter, _moving_ across the country with you and your family, _living_ with you in _your_ house."

"I was unaware the situation upset you. I am very sorry that's the case, but let me assure-"

"You're damn right this upsets me." Renee's raised voice was causing people standing by to glance over. "Bella is only eighteen years old. I understand your adopted daughter is romantically involved with the other teenager in your house. Exactly what kind of sugar daddy are you?"

Carlisle released the bags to the floor in order to hold his hands palms out. "Mrs. Dwyer, please, you've mistaken the situation."

"Oh, yeah? Then why was Bella driving with you instead of Alice?" Renee was not backing down an inch. "Listen, Bella is a smart girl with her whole life ahead of her. She is going to get the full benefit of being at college without your interference, and without being tied down. I don't care if you are handsome and rich, Bella will be free find her own boyfriends at Middlebury. Do you understand me?"

"Mrs. Dwyer, I have no intention of preventing or interfering in any of Bella's relationships. I sincerely hope that she meets young people that will appreciate and love her."

"Of course she will; she's Bella." Renee's voice had lowered, but then she lifted a finger and pointed it within inches of Carlisle's nose. "When she starts, I better hear a lot more from her about the new friends she's made and the things she is doing than about Carlisle Cullen."

"I do care for Bella a great deal, but please let me assure you that there is nothing inappropriate about our relationship."

Renee lowered her finger and Carlisle was relieved that she finally seemed to be capitulating. He started to speak, but her next words cut him off. "I know that Bella is fond of you and considers you a good friend, but I'm no fool. I saw how you were looking at my daughter yesterday and again this morning. If I find out that you have taken advantage of Bella you and I will come face-to-face again and it will not be pretty. _Hands off."_ Dismissing him, Renee turned away to face Bella, who was approaching from down the hallway.

"Here you go, Mom." Completely ignorant of the lecture that had just taken place, Bella handed Renee a pair of brown sunglasses.

"Thank you, Bella." She slipped them onto her head. "I'll wait for you out front while you're checking out." She went out the front doors without a backward glance.

Carlisle fell slowly into step behind Bella as they walked to the registration desk. The bags were back in hand, but that was just about the only thing that didn't feel out of equilibrium. Bella looked over her shoulder at him and frowned. "Carlisle, are you alright?"

"I'm fine," he lied.

Bella gave a half-chuckle. "Mom can be a little exhausting. I'm glad the two of you got along." She gave him a smile and turned around to check out.

* * *

**A/N: I was recently sent a PM by a user whose friend suffered a loss in her family. She was soliciting authors to contribute to a fundraiser, since her friend's family hasn't been able to afford the funeral expenses. Unfortunately, I am not able to send her an outtake, but the blog is learning-to-move-on blogspot com for those who would like to know more.**

**Next chapter… College beginnings, Bella meets new people, including someone special…**


	23. Chapter 23

**Congratulations to all the participants of NaNo! Each and every one of you humble me. A big thanks goes out to AlltheOtherNamesAreUsed for betaing this. She let me return the favor and had me beta her new story, a nice and kinky 5-chapter short, due to post soon. Put her on alert, because you'll love it.**

**Disclaimer: All new characters and their names were chosen only for the purposes of this story, and do not intend to depict, parody or otherwise comment on anyone who happens to bear the same name.**

* * *

~*~ Chapter Twenty-Three ~*~

The next few weeks after the road trip passed quickly. The first week had been spent unpacking and getting situated. Carlisle was gone to work at the hospital almost immediately. Esme and Maggie were touching up the weak areas of the house, which included everything from sanding down scratched wood flooring to picking out paint colors. Refitting the house to suit Esme's vision was a noisy activity, but Maggie and Esme were kind enough to cease activity when Bella slept at night.

Jasper and Alice weren't quite so thoughtful. It was their fourth night in the house when Bella first heard the noises they were making. Initially, she didn't know what was going on, and when it sunk in she blushed strongly enough that she could feel the heat in her cheeks. Bella buried her face in her pillow and willed herself to ignore the sounds and go to sleep. It didn't occur to her until the morning that Alice and Jasper were fully capable of controlling the noises they made, and they probably hadn't wanted to. After all, Bella's presence in the house shouldn't keep them from doing what they'd normally do, and Bella wouldn't have wanted it to. In fact, they were probably louder normally. Bella's thought was confirmed the following morning when Maggie whispered warningly "that was mild" in her ear. Bella could only feel grateful that they hadn't really let loose.

Despite the nightly breaks, the vampires easily turned the once-empty house into a home. Curtains went up along the large windows, which every room on the first floor boasted. Cabinets in the kitchen, painted ghastly blue by the previous owners, were replaced with naturally-stained cherry wood. All three stories in the house had white and cream walls, which Bella had to admit was uninspiring. She pitched in to help Esme and Maggie repaint each room, and chose a pale green for her own.

Bella had never lived in such a large house. It was in the rural outskirts of Middlebury, and had four bedrooms, four bathrooms, and _two _garages, not to mention a mountain view on the side of the property that wasn't enclosed by woods. Esme in particular seemed to enjoy being able to look at the Green Mountains through the living room windows.

The house wasn't the only thing Bella had to adjust to. College life couldn't be more different from high school. Bella remembered her first day at Forks High. She'd had to carry a slip and get the teachers to sign it to prove she'd shown. Middlebury had no such restriction. No one was checking up on her to make sure that she did what she was supposed to do. She was completely responsible for herself, and while she'd thought she knew what that was like with all the liberty Charlie had given her, she was completely unprepared for the _freedom_ of it.

The Middlebury campus was large. It even had extensions miles away, like the Bread Loaf campus, where the freshman barn dance had been held during orientation. Bella hadn't wanted to go and made the token effort to dig in her heels, but Alice and Jasper had dragged her anyway – almost literally. Alice's technique was persuasion and a little manipulation, but Bella had simply no defense when Jasper had hauled her over his shoulder and carried her out the door to the Lexus.

The barn dance – it should be noted that the "barn" was about double the size of their house – had proven to be more social than any of the other activities Bella had engaged in up to that point. It was one thing to sit in a big meeting and have faculty welcome the class, but it was another to get to engage in no other agenda than music and food with all her new classmates.

After the first few minutes, Alice and Jasper had left Bella to mingle on her own. Bella had found herself part of one group after another, from a pleasant chat with a Russian girl to listening to two guys debate whether Senator Obama would run for president in 2008. Bella oscillated between feeling comfortable and feeling out of her league. A lot of the Middlebury students came from affluent backgrounds, were children of alumnae, and spoke a hell of a lot more quickly on intelligent subjects than Bella felt even capable of keeping up with.

Classes had started on Monday, September 11th, and Bella was excited about beginning her college career. She was going to get to learn and study about literature from all around the world, and she had so many authors' works to study. Before she graduated Bella had to be able to read in more than one language. She couldn't wait to begin, to choose which specialty she liked best. And with all that eagerness of the day, the evening had afforded her something grounding to the world outside the college campus with the candlelight vigil in the Town Green marking the 5th anniversary of September 11th.

It was Wednesday, and Bella had just emerged from her Literary Theory course. She was striding away from the classroom when a tall blond boy approached her. Well, young man, really, as Bella quickly judged him to be an upperclassman when she got a better look at him.

"Isabella Swan?" he asked her, an inquiring smile on his face.

Bella extended her hand. "Just Bella, please."

"Matt." He took her hand, and his grip was strong. He was well built; Bella immediately pegged him as an athlete. She hoped he wasn't trying to recruit her into playing a sport, because he'd have to be disappointed. "Matt Dillingham. I'm your leader for OINK this weekend."

Bella blinked at him. "I'm sorry, what?"

"The OINK, I'll be one of your two student leaders. The other is my friend Ramesh; you'll like him."

"I'm sorry, I'm going to need you to back up. Did you say 'oink'?"

Comprehension began to dawn on Matt's face. "Oh, sorry. We usually say the acronym. The Outdoor Introduction for New Kids. It's the wilderness orientation trip."

Bella continued to stare at him blankly.

"Sponsored by the Middlebury Mountain Club… backpacking, rock climbing, local natural history… whitewater kayaking. None of this is ringing a bell with you, is it?"

Bella's eyes had grown wide. "This is required of all freshmen?" Her voice began to rise in panic.

"No," Matt said, truly flummoxed. "You have to apply, pay the fee."

Relief swamped Bella and she took a tentative half step backward as she shook her head. "You must have me confused with another freshman. There's no way I'd sign on for something like that."

"Isabella Marie Swan?" Matt started rummaging through his bag and pulled out a folder. He flipped through it until he found what he wanted. "Your application came in on June 20th, emailed. Fee was paid by your father, Charles Swan." Matt looked up again, and whatever he saw on Bella's face made him put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Hey, you're in the beginners' group. No whitewater kayaking. You don't have to do the trip at all, if you don't want to."

Matt's blue eyes were full of understanding, and Bella felt her initial panic begin to ease. "I... well, no, don't take me off the list. At least not yet. I think I want to talk to my Dad first. Is there a phone number I can get back to you at?"

"Sure, I'll give you my cell." Matt gave her shoulder a slight squeeze before letting go, and Bella put his number in her Blackberry. "We'll need to find someone to fill your slot, so if you decide to back out, the sooner you let me know the better. I hope you'll come, though."

Bella looked up from her screen to see his face. It was attractive, and he had a comforting smile. Bella was already beginning to feel silly for reacting the way she had; the fact that he was trying to put her at ease made her feel even more foolish.

"I'll be there to look out for you," Matt continued. "You can trust me to make sure that nothing's too rough, and even help you enjoy it."

"Well, I guess with a recommendation like that I'll have to consider it."

Matt smiled and nodded. "Call me." Their eye contact was broken when he turned and trotted off.

Walking out of the building and toward the dining hall, Bella was quick to call Forks. Charlie answered on the third ring. "Bells! How's the birthday girl?"

Bella gritted her teeth. "Fine, Dad, apart from the panic attack I had when I got your present."

"What?" Her father sounded genuinely surprised, and Bella realized he might have mistaken her sarcasm for a comment about a genuine gift he might have sent.

"OINK, Dad. I'm talking about this outdoor adventure you've signed me up for."

"Oh. I thought you would have learned about that before now."

"Honestly, I wish I had. Why did you sign me up for it?"

"It'll be good for you."

"Good for me?" Students were walking all around her, and Bella had to twist to avoid colliding with a pair heading in the opposite direction.

"Get you out of doors, making new friends." Charlie's voice took on a positive, encouraging tone. "It might not be something you'd do on your own, but indulge your hard-working old man."

"_Rock climbing_, Dad. Aren't you worried I'll break my neck?"

"Nope." Charlie's response was quick. "It's a school-sponsored event. They'll look out for you."

"Well, I suppose Carlisle would put me back into shape if anything did happen." Bella stopped outside the entrance to the dining hall. It would be rude to be talking on her cell while gathering her food.

"Considering that you're living in his house, I don't think he'd be allowed to treat you, Bella."

"Oh." Charlie had a point. "I hadn't thought of that."

"You shouldn't depend so much on the Cullens."

"I _don't_. I'm paying my own way, aren't I?"

"That's not what I meant. Go on the trip this weekend, Bells. Spend some time learning and bonding without any vampires around."

Bella paused. "That's why you signed me up, isn't it? I thought you liked them, Dad."

"I like them, Bells. I just want you to have a life outside of the Cullens. Meet some people."

"I have!" Bella pulled a random name from the kids at the barn dance. "Like Liam, or, uh, Matt." Okay, technically, Bella might not have met Matt if Charlie hadn't signed her up for OINK. At least not this soon.

"Liam and Matt, huh?" Charlie asked wryly.

"Stop it." Bella chuckled. "Ugh, alright, I'll do it."

"Good. I always wanted to get you outdoors more. Maybe you'll come fishing with me when you next come to Forks."

"Don't count on it."

The smile was clear in Charlie's voice. "Have a good birthday, Bella. I love you."

"I love you, too, Dad."

Bella disconnected and went into the hall. Once she was seated and eating her lunch, she took out her phone again. Pulling up Carlisle's number she sent him a short text.

(~*~)

At the campus rendezvous spot Saturday morning, Bella recognized two of her fellow OINKers from the Bread Loaf dance: Anna, the Russian girl she had chatted with, and Liam, who had been part of a group of three that she'd met up with at the drinks table. Anna was tall and muscular. Her features were sharp, but beautiful, and long brown hair cascaded down her back from the simple twist she'd put it into. Liam was pretty average: medium height, sandy hair and a chin that tilted slightly upward, Drew Barrymore-style.

The group totaled eight altogether, headed by Matt and his fellow sophomore Ramesh Rana. The other three were a dark-haired, round-faced boy named Barry, and two girls that looked like they belonged on the pages of a fashion magazine – apart from the fact that they were wearing Middlebury sweats. Actually, they were all in Middlebury clothing. It was an odd sort of coincidental unity. Bella looked down at her own Midd pants. Alice had left them on her bed the day Bella found out about OINK. Bella shrugged as she put on her backpack. Ramesh had just finished explaining the contents of each pack, going over what they would need for their two-day hike up a mountain.

Bella staggered for a second once the weight of the pack made contact with her back. She got control again fairly easily. Still, Matt came over to assist her. "Here, let me help you with the straps," he said.

His hands were quick and gentle, securing all the buckles –some of which she hadn't noticed- and tightening the straps. "This should be snug but not too snug," Matt said, giving the bands over her shoulders a slight tug. Bella felt the pull towards him, but managed to stay on her feet. "How's that?"

Bella nodded, then gave Matt a wry smile. "Beginners' stuff, huh?"

"Pace yourself; you'll be fine."

Matt moved away to check on the girls, Aimee and Lizbeth, who seemed to have everything all set. He left behind him a slight wisp of his soap. What was that, Irish Spring?

"Alright, everyone, let's go!" Ramesh called cheerfully. So far, the guy had kept an almost permanent smile on his face. Bella found it a little infectious.

Anna appeared by Bella's side with a smile. "Ready?" she asked.

Bella glanced down at her legs. They'd all started with stretching out, and she was feeling a little limber. Bella gave a quick nod. "As much as I'll ever be," she said.

They started walking.

(~*~)

Bella really, _really_ wanted to have Matt's backpack. More specifically, she wanted the water pouch stuck into it. All he had to do was turn his head, and suck the water out of a tube. Instant hydration without a hitch in his step. Stupid designer backpack.

The day had started off mildly clouded over, but now the sky was clear. The temperature wasn't actually as warm as it felt to Bella, her exertion causing sweat to bead on her brow. They were heading northeast, toward Mount Abraham. Or maybe they were already on Mount Abraham, Bella wasn't sure. Either way, the walking was steep and the backs of her calves felt it.

Bella paused, letting the rest of the group get a little ahead of her. She twisted to pull her water bottle out of the backpack's side mesh pocket. It took her two tries, but she managed to snag the already half-empty bottle. Bella took a gulping sip, her peripheral vision filled with green leaves and yellow sun as she tilted her head back. Unlike back in Forks, the leaves had only just started to change color. There were touches of yellow trim on the maples, and one tree up ahead had a small shock of orange at the very top. All in all, it was rather pretty.

Bella stuffed the water bottle back in its spot and starting walking again, catching up with Anna who had stopped to wait for her. Anna reminded Bella a lot of Angela back home. She was sweet and kind, but unlike Angela, Bella could sense that Anna had a spine made of steel. Only a couple minutes later, Ramesh called a halt.

"This is a good place to take a quick break. Stop, refresh yourselves, take a leak."

Bella looked around the woods. She _did_ have to relieve her bladder, now that the idea was put in her head. "In the woods?" she asked.

"Walking will get uncomfortable if you hold it in," Ramesh answered.

"How far until we camp?" Liam asked.

"A few more hours."

There were a few groans from the freshmen as they all unbuckled their backpacks, but several did take advantage of the woods, Bella included. Barry wandered over to where Bella and Anna sat munching on energy bars. "Want some?" he offered, holding out his package of peanut M&Ms.

"Sure," Bella answered, holding out her hand. They made a bit of a mess, so when Barry switched to Anna, he held her hand over his while he poured the candy. She smiled up at him.

"What's your last name, Barry?"

"Watt."

"She asked your last name," Bella explained, thinking he had trouble with Anna's accent, though truthfully her accent was very slight.

Barry rolled his eyes, but the smile he gave Bella let her know it wasn't directed at her. "It's Watt. Barry Watt."

"As in the light bulb?"

"Exactly as in the light bulb."

Bella crunched her peanut and then swallowed when his meaning sunk in. "No way. You're not saying you're related to James Watt?"

"Direct," Barry said with a smile, popping an M&M into his mouth.

"Let me guess, your major is mechanical engineering," Anna said.

"Might be, except that Midd doesn't offer that major. I'm Poli Sci."

"Oh, so am I."

"Sweet." Barry sat down, so as not to keep looming over the girls. "And what are your full names?"

"Bella Swan."

"Anna Lebedev."

Barry broke out in a grin. "Seriously?"

Anna smiled and nodded. Bella frowned. "I don't get it."

"Lebedev, my last name." Anna gestured to herself. "It is Russian for 'swan'."

"You're the Swan Girls." Barry was highly amused. "Excellent."

Soon they were packing up and setting out again. The path Matt and Ramesh led them on was becoming more wooded, and Bella was grateful for the shade. It also made her feel a little bit like she was back in Forks, on her way to a Cullen baseball game. Twigs snapped under her feet, and Bella had to be careful not to trip on tree roots.

The trail changed, narrowing, and instead of just walking between trees, the eight of them were making their way through two large, moss-covered boulders. It was like the mountain had deliberately shifted apart to create a path for humans, and other creatures, to pass through. The years in Forks had made Bella feel accustomed to living in a forested area, but finding herself caught between two large rocks, it finally struck her that she was doing something different, something new. Charlie had been right: this was good for her.

Ramesh and Matt help guide conversation along by having the group play a get-to-know-you game of 20 Questions, pausing to point out areas of interest and share back stories. The game was somewhat fun, though Bella couldn't quite say she learned much about anyone from it. Observation was a better teacher. Aimee and Lizbeth were already fast friends, paired at the hip. Liam was affable, but on the quiet side. Barry was outgoing and eager, and Bella was already building a rapport with Anna. Ramesh was definitely the most extroverted of the group, spontaneously bursting into song or twisting his gangly body into a graceful two-step.

Matt stood out in the group. He was a natural leader, self-confident, and able to put everyone around him at ease. He had the kind of charm that could be felt across the room, even though you weren't aware of noticing him. If she got the chance, Bella intended to engage him in conversation once they set up camp.

It was a few hours before sunset when they finally stopped for the night. The chosen spot was a reasonably large clearing – some wood, some rock and enough space to set up the two tents Matt and Ramesh had been toting. The six freshmen promptly set about doing just that, since dinner supplies would not be broken out until it was done. The girls got the green tent; the boys got the blue.

Dinner consisted of canned beans and soy dogs roasted over a fire. Matt handed each person a two-pronged stick. They gathered in a circle around the fire Ramesh had built, sitting on their backpacks like Bella, or a handy collapsible camp chair that a handful of them were lucky enough to have included in their packs. Anna and Barry sat on one side of Bella, while Matt and Ramesh settled down on her other.

"Having a good time so far?" Matt asked her.

"It's not too bad." Bella gave a small smile.

"I couldn't believe it when Matt told me your father had signed you up without knowing. Does he often play tricks on you like that?" Ramesh asked.

Bella shook her head. "This was a first. He's a bit of an outdoorsman, my father – 'outdoorsman' meaning that Sundays are spent fishing instead of praying at church."

"You're not doing too bad, then, for your first hike," Barry commented.

"Yeah, I've walked through woods before, but nothing like this. I ache in places in my legs that I didn't even know could ache."

"You should stretch them out after you eat," Matt said. In the darkening light, the fire gave a golden hue to his blond hair.

"I will," Bella agreed. "So, did you two do the OINK last year?"

"We did," Ramesh answered. "Matt's like the brother I never had. We couldn't be closer even if he did bat for the same team as me. We've been roommates since the beginning. Same interests, same classes."

"Having the same major helped," Matt added.

"Oh, really?" Bella looked between the two of them, trying to come up with what they both might be studying. "What is it?"

"Theatre," said Ramesh.

"Theatre," Matt said with a confident nod.

"Theatre?" Bella blinked at him. Then she blinked at the ground and started laughing quietly, her shoulders shaking.

"Something funny, there, Bella?"

Bella lifted her head and showed the wide grin on her face. "Theatre! I did _not_ see that one coming," she said, tossing up a hand to appease them. "I'm sorry. I was just expecting something like, computer science or biochemistry."

"Theatre happens to be a great social medium as well as a visual art. Ever heard of _The Laramie Project_, or _Angels in America?_" Ramesh said.

Bella shook her head. "No, but I do remember seeing my middle school's production of _You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown_."

Matt shook his head. "Ramesh, we've got to educate this one."

"Well, educate me after I've eaten," Bella said, taking her soy dog out of the fire and getting up to find a roll.

Once everyone had finished eating, and Bella got in her stretch, Ramesh called out, "Okay, let's do an OINK photo! What do we have to work with?"

"An OINK photo?" Bella was stumped.

Matt leaned over and spoke to her softly. "It's somewhat a tradition to spell out the word 'OINK' using whatever we have on us and then take a picture. One year the kids used their water reflections."

"So, the more creative, the better?"

"Exactly."

"Isn't it a little dark to be taking a picture?" Lizbeth called out.

"You just have to think a little bit more outside the box." Ramesh gestured with his arms as if he was holding one.

"I've got an idea," Liam said. They tried using their cell phones and flashlights to form the letters, but there wasn't enough to make all four.

Barry tried to set up some twigs that formed the letters and then backlight them, but the twigs wouldn't remain upright. "I guess you aren't an engineer after all," Anna laughed.

It was Lizbeth who came up with the solution. With a roll of duct tape she'd pulled out of her pack ("Duct tape is the solution to everything") she formed the letters and stuck them to the inside of a tent. The four girls then went in and shined their flashlights on the letters, while Ramesh took the picture from outside.

The OINK photo actually took up a lot of time and everybody turned in not long after. There was just enough room in the tent for four sleeping bags and their mats. Bella chatted with Lizbeth and Aimee for a bit before falling asleep.

(~*~)

"Bella."

"Bel-la."

The overlapping voices made Bella stir. She was content in dreamland and didn't want to wake up, but the voices were gently persistent. Bella opened her eyes and found Matt's and Ramesh's faces inches from her nose.

"Gah!" Bella let out a mild shriek and jerked backward.

The boys sat back on their heels, laughing. More laughter from outside the tent could be heard. Bella scrambled away from them, making a klutzy mess of it from the confines of her sleeping bag. This, of course, made Matt and Ramesh laugh a little harder.

Bella glared at them, and said the first thing she could think of. "This is the girls' tent."

"This is the you've-slept-in-too-long tent." Ramesh reached out and lightly tweaked her nose. "Rise and shine, Bella." He left the tent.

"We want to get to the lookout spot by 10, so that we can have plenty of time for the trip back," Matt gently urged.

Bella nodded. "I'll be right out."

Most of the dried fruit was gone by the time Bella joined everyone for breakfast. She ate some orange rinds, and then picked through the granola bars. It was pretty quiet and laid back, mostly because everyone else was dragging. Liam moaned his desire for coffee, a sentiment that Aimee echoed. The brief spurt of energy everyone got from Bella's wake-up surprise was already gone. Some were disappearing into the woods, others brushing their teeth with water from their bottles. Bella sat comfortably beside Lizbeth.

"So, are you into cars?" Lizbeth asked.

"Um, not particularly," Bella answered.

"Is anyone in your family, like a brother or something?"

"No, I'm an only child. My dad's just into sports and my mom's interests tend to change with the season, but they've never included cars. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, well, my brother and I are both collector car hobbyists, and we've gone down to the Carlisle Events in Pennsylvania a few times. I thought maybe that's what you were talking about in your sleep."

It took a second for Bella to realize that she was holding her granola bar in her mouth and hadn't bitten down yet. She did so and slowly chewed the oats and honey.

"I thought she was talking about clothes," Aimee chimed in with a shrug. She sat down in the space between Bella and Lizbeth. "My mother is always buying from that collection."

"Why would she be saying 'purr' if she was talking about clothes?" Lizbeth pointed out.

"I thought I heard her say 'more'."

Lizbeth laughed. "So of course you thought clothes. Besides, does Bella look likely to ever have Carlisle on her?"

"Hey." Aimee cautioned her friend, darting her eyes in Bella's direction. "Don't be a snob."

"Oh, sorry, Bella, I didn't mean that the way it sounded."

Bella finished off another bite of granola. "It's okay. I have no idea what you're talking about anyway."

"Sorry, I just wondered if you were another hobbyist like me," Lizbeth said. "I shouldn't have brought it up."

Bella shrugged. "I'm sorry I woke you by talking in my sleep. I guess I do that sometimes."

"Do you know what you were dreaming about?" Aimee asked, and this time it was Lizbeth that shushed her friend for being impolite.

Volunteering the information that she knew someone named Carlisle would create the wrong impression, so Bella merely answered truthfully that she didn't know what she'd dreamed. It felt a little weird to hide his name; yet creating curiosity about the Cullens was definitely something she wanted to avoid. Aimee and Lizbeth chattered away on other topics, occasionally interjecting with possible meanings for Carlisle. Bella was free to ignore them.

She packed up the trash from her granola bars and moved to help Anna disassemble their tent. Liam and Matt were doing the same with the boys' tent, and each of them found a chance to send a smile her way. It wasn't long before everything was put together, backpacks were strapped on, and Ramesh was leading the eight of them forward again. Anna and Barry were just behind him, and in the middle Aimee and Lizbeth were singing Belinda Carlisle. "Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth? Ooh, heaven is a place on Earth!"

Behind Liam, Bella let out a long sigh. Bringing up the rear just behind Bella, Matt gave her a companionable nudge with his elbow. His blue eyes were twinkling; he was amused by the girls, but understood that Bella was feeling a little exasperated. Bella decided to take the hint and smiled back at him.

The further they went, the more landscape Bella could see. The destination was not the top of the mountain, thank God, but Matt and Ramesh were leading them to a lookout point that wasn't too far beyond where they had set up camp. AS more gaps appeared between the trees, Bella could tell that they were getting closer. And before she knew it, they were there.

The ground beneath her feet was the solid rock of the mountain. It was the size of a professional baseball diamond, and extended at a slight incline from where she stood. Ramesh, Barry and the girls were ahead of her, spreading out across the space. Aimee turned around slowly in a 360.

"Wow," she said.

Liam gave Bella a slight nudge with his elbow, and smiled at her over his shoulder as he passed.

"Alright there, Bella?" Matt asked.

"Yeah." Bella gave a quick nod and she walked out with Matt to see the view.

It was worth it. At a higher elevation than the ground she had just climbed over, Bella could see the tops of trees descending around and to the side of her. Beyond them were the hills of Mount Abraham, as well as the other Green Mountains, and above it all blue, blue sky. The clouds cast shadows on the green of the rolling peaks below. Bella could imagine what it was like to be under one of those shadows, in a day that was partly cloudy instead of sunny. She felt as tall as the sky.

They all did a little exploring around their lookout. In some directions no vista was visible at all. There was more of the mountain they had not yet hiked, but they wouldn't be going any higher. Along the edges where they hadn't come up were some steep declines, not meant for the casual hiker.

Bella didn't think that she would ever be anything more than just that, a casual hiker. However, she definitely saw the appeal behind exploring nature. Somehow, it made Bella feel stronger, and a bit more connected.

"Glad you came?" Matt asked. Everyone was sitting down, munching. Barry was picking small rocks and tossing them out at the trees, occasionally there'd be a small _thunk_ noise.

"Absolutely."

The peace of the area was soothing. Occasionally you could hear a bird call out, or see one in the distance. It was mostly quiet, though, apart from the natural noises of their own movements. Several more pictures were taken, some group, some individuals, some just of nature, before they all got ready to go.

Bella assembled her gear and put her pack back on. Remembering that she hadn't stretched her legs, Bella put one foot out, shifted her weight to her back leg, and started to stretch her hamstring. She should have known better.

The pack put her off-balance and she tilted over. Bella tried to put her arms out and shift her weight again, but gravity was pulling her down, and she wasn't going to keep herself upright. Bella let go, figuring on the pack cushioning her fall.

She hadn't accounted for the sudden drop causing her to roll. Even then it would have been fine – her body with the backpack didn't exactly create good torque – if she hadn't been within a few feet of one of the declines. Bella kept on rolling, and then bouncing, down the side of the mountain.

Dirt and stone smashed against her arms, legs, the side of her face. Bella scratched and scrambled at the earth, trying to find something to grab onto. Her legs hit a tree trunk, and that should have stopped her, but her torso kept going and now instead of sideways, she was going down face-first – not that she could really see what was ahead more than a few inches. Bella tried to grab at the tree, but she was already beyond it.

There was more plant-life and Bella did manage to grab something flexible and leafy. It was well rooted and Bella was able to hold on tight while her lower body kept moving. She flopped once, her body hitting the ground hard again, but she finally stopped falling.

Her legs couldn't find a purchase, though. From her thighs down, Bella felt nothing but air underneath them. Heart pounding, Bella tentatively moved her right leg, and the plant in her hands gave a bit. Bella cried out at the sudden drop. It couldn't have been more than half an inch, but it felt like a lot more. Bella concentrated hard keeping her grip, and she began to notice how sweaty her palms felt. Just noticing made her feel like she was going to slip.

The scuffle of rocks above her got louder, and suddenly strong hands were gripping her wrists. "I've got you!" Bella looked up into Matt's wide blue eyes. He'd thrown himself forward onto his knees and was clutching her with both hands. "Look at me, Bella. I've got you."

"I can't feel any ground under my legs," she said to him.

"Don't worry about it. Just keep your eyes on me." Matt's gaze was steadfast.

Bella listened to him. She stopped her panicked breathing and just watched his face. He was concentrating hard, keeping both hers and his own weight up on the incline, but he kept his eyes deadlocked on hers. It was oddly intimate, staring into someone's eyes so intently, faces so close. Bella could pick up on two or three tiny freckles on Matt's left cheekbone that she hadn't noticed before. They were hidden well in his tan skin, just barely speckling the skin next to his straight nose. Matt had the kind of face that girls back in Phoenix would sigh over.

Bella suddenly noticed the top of Anna's head just behind Matt. She was above his shoulder and then on his side. Bella was completely perplexed as to what she was up to, until she realized that Anna was releasing the straps to Matt's backpack, getting it off him. It figured Matt's pack had quick-release shoulder straps. Smart, clever, blessed designer backpack.

"Good thinking, thank you," Matt said, and his face moved further away from Bella as he leaned back, shifting his weight to make them both more secure. There was more scuffling and Bella saw Ramesh and Barry arrive. "Guys, can you-" Matt began.

"On it," said Ramesh and he moved toward Bella. "Barry, get her other side."

Together, Ramesh and Barry each grabbed underneath Bella's arms.

"Alright, Bella," Matt said, "we're going to pull you up until you can get your knees on the ground. Ready?"

Bella nodded.

They pulled, and together they got her up past her knees. Bella let go of the plant, a tiny tree that had just started to grow, and scrambled onto the steep ground. The boys let go of her.

"You alright?" Ramesh asked.

"I think so." Bella took a couple tentative steps. It hurt above the knees where she'd made contact with the tree. "Just a few bruises."

"You're not limping." Matt put his hand under her chin and tilted her face up. "You've got a scrape on your cheek, but it's minor."

Behind her, Bella heard Barry whistle. She didn't want to turn around to see him look over the edge. "Is this where you tell me that I could have plummeted to my death?"

"Nah, it's not that far down. You could have broken a few bones, though. I'd say it's a good thirty feet."

Bella decided not to share the fact that she would've gone down headfirst if that blessed baby tree hadn't been there. She hoped she hadn't killed it. Anna came round and put an arm out to support Bella. "Come on," she said. "Let's get you back up there."

The trip back up was a lot slower than the one down. Back at the lookout, the girls called down to ask what had happened. All three of them, including Liam, looked at Bella anxiously once she'd arrived.

"Oh, God," Aimee said anxiously. "You really look mussed up."

"Thanks."

"Yeah, when people look like that after going for a tumble, it's usually for an entirely different reason." Ramesh grinned. Matt slapped the back of his head, but Bella laughed.

"I probably wouldn't be this sore if it was the other kind."

"Not if it's done properly." Bella expected Matt to smack the back of Ramesh's head again, but he left that one alone.

"Are you going to be okay to get back?" Liam asked Bella.

"Yeah, no worries."

"You sure?" Matt asked her with concern.

"Positive. Let's just get back, because what I really need right now is a nice shower."

So they set out. It wasn't that bad. She'd only suffered scrapes and bruises, and Bella was sure that the ones on her legs would probably be record making, but she was good. Despite taking it slow and careful, the trip back down went faster than the trip up had. Matt kept by her side the whole time, and Bella had no reason to complain.

(~*~)

It was late into the night – closer to early morning – when Carlisle arrived home. He'd just come off from a double shift; in fact he had been working double shifts six days a week since he'd started. The long hours that hospitals put new staff through was one of the most satisfying times for Carlisle, because he got to be on scene as much as possible. Not that it didn't have its drawbacks: once again the cycle of interested females had begun.

As he passed through the living room to the stairs, Carlisle gave a nod of greeting to Alice and Jasper, who were cuddling on the couch. Carlisle had taken the third floor as his office and it was his intention to head straight there. However, once on the second floor he paused outside of Bella's door. Through it, he could hear her soft breathing as she slept. The sound was very welcome and reassuring. It had become a habit of his to listen for it when he returned from his shifts at Porter Medical, though he didn't usually stop outside her bedroom. The last night without her here had made the house seem emptier.

Opening his cell, he scrolled through his messages until he found the one he was looking for. He hadn't answered the text Bella sent him Wednesday afternoon. Though Carlisle had looked at the three simple words several times, particularly since she'd been gone on her orientation trip.

I miss you.

The message was especially poignant to him, as Carlisle hadn't made it home for her birthday. He'd compensated by having a bouquet of fresh flowers in every room, waiting for her return after classes, with Esme delivering his apologies for not being there.

Inside her room, Bella began to thrash as though she was having a nightmare. It only lasted a couple seconds, and then she seemed to calm. "Matt," Bella murmured on a sigh, and Carlisle heard her turn onto her side.

The whispered name was enough. Carlisle closed out of the screen and returned the phone to his pocket. He moved away from her door and continued up to his solitary studies in his office.

* * *

**A/N: OINK does actually exist, though I admit to taking some creative liberty with Bella's weekend trip. On my profile I've linked an album containing 29 photos of the real deal, which I took some visual inspiration from. I'll also remind everyone that Matt's image can be found there, too. ;)**

**I wish everyone a happy and fun holiday season!**

**Next Chapter... Bella's new circle of friends solidifies, there'll be more of Matt and Carlisle, and something unexpected.**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: I'd like to thank all of you for sticking with this story. I know that updates are few and far between these days, and it's hard to remember what's going on, never mind care. Thank you for caring. **

**Thanks to AlltheOtherNamesAreUsed and twitina for holding my hand these past few hours while I tweaked and refined the chapter.**

**In the last chapter Bella bonded with some college peers on a weekend outdoor orientation, and of course, managed to have a bad fall. That night Carlisle came home and missing her, he paused outside her door to reassure himself of her presence in the house. This chapter picks up where the last left off.**

* * *

~*~ Chapter Twenty-Four ~*~

Carlisle wasn't alone in his office for long. Esme came up the stairs, her familiar soft tread announcing her presence. "Carlisle," she said gently.

"Good evening, Esme," Carlisle returned. Out of respect, he stood up and didn't sit down again until Esme had seated herself in an adjacent armchair.

"I heard you pause outside Bella's door. I wanted to let you know that she's fine."

"Why wouldn't she be?"

"She had a bit of a fall on her OINK trip. A few bruises and scrapes, but all minor. Didn't you smell the dried blood?"

Carlisle shook his head, frowning. "No, how long ago was this?"

"I understand that it was around noontime."

"Sixteen hours ago." Carlisle nodded thoughtfully. "You said Bella's physically fine. Is she alright, otherwise?"

"Well, she might be a little embarrassed," Esme said with a slight smile. "I think she had a great time, otherwise. It was good for her."

"Good. I certainly had my doubts when I first learned of it."

Esme crossed her legs and rested her folded hands on her knee. "Bella's got to be free to make her own decisions."

Carlisle raised an eyebrow at Esme. "Now why would you say something like that to me?"

Esme looked startled. "I was just…"

"Have I ever interfered in Bella's life?"

"Carlisle, calm down, I wasn't trying to say that you were. What's got you acting this way?"

"Answer my question first. What made you say that?"

Esme hesitated, obviously searching for the right words. "I suppose I meant to convey that I'm glad Bella went on this orientation trip. I think it's important that Bella _be_ a college student, and a part of me is worried that living with us might hinder her."

"Do you think we made the wrong decision moving out here with her?"

"No! Not at all. You know that I love Bella, and I'm glad she's living with us now. But it does make things a little harder on her than it would for a regular college student. You can't deny that."

Carlisle's silence showed his agreement. He left his seat and turned to walk away and face out the window. Behind him, he felt Esme hesitate before she came over and placed a hand on the back of his shoulder.

"Carlisle, tell me what's wrong."

The touch of her hand was comforting and it shifted him out of his pensive state. Esme was only showing him concern. Carlisle sighed. "I guess I'm just frustrated. I am tired of people trying to tell me how I should behave with Bella, and I am sorry for taking it out on you."

"Who's saying this to you?"

Carlisle turned around. "Charlie was the first. That day when he came to my office, he essentially told me that he trusts me with Bella's life and I'd better be careful with it. Then in Chicago, Renee accused me of trying to set myself up as her sugar daddy."

"She didn't!"

"Of course, she couldn't have been more wrong, but…"

Esme was watching him carefully. "But?"

Carlisle looked away from Esme and started pacing. "Ever since that conversation I just haven't felt right."

"Because of Bella?"

"Yes. We've made all this effort to move out here in order to remain a part of her life, but I'm more distanced from her than I've ever been. I have pulled away, even though there has never been any question of something inappropriate between us. Bella and I have always been close, and I've never regretted that, but I certainly don't want it getting in her way."

"What do you mean?"

Carlisle stopped and from across room turned to face Esme. "I think that Bella can hardly be able to develop an attachment if she spends her free moments talking with me in my office, or having a cuddle on the couch."

"So you're deliberately making yourself unavailable."

"Yes. My hours at the hospital are exactly what they would have been even if Renee hadn't made an accusation, but I have been less responsive to Bella's affection."

"And you're making yourself miserable in turn." Carlisle didn't disagree. Esme had always known how to read him well. Now that he'd stopped pacing, Esme moved over to Carlisle again. She put both hands on his shoulders and looked right up at him.

Carlisle tilted his head down until his forehead was touching hers. "I want her to be happy."

"Does it make her happy to be isolated from her best friend?"

Carlisle straightened. "Alice-"

"Bullshit. You're the first person Bella goes to when she wants to share something, and have been from the very beginning." When Carlisle said nothing, Esme pushed on. "I think you're making a mistake, pulling back from her. Be her friend, Carlisle, and don't worry about anything else."

Esme left the room and after a moment Carlisle returned to the seat behind his desk. He wanted to listen to Esme, he really did, but a part of him felt that he simply wasn't capable of going back to the way things used to be. The mutual affection he and Bella shared _was_ intimate, a little too intimate for a young woman who needed to meet young men and have a chance at love. His reason for distance was valid, but Esme had gently shown him how foolish he'd been. He'd gone too far in the other direction. Carlisle didn't have to completely isolate himself like he had been: not taking the chance to greet Bella, failing to return simple text messages. There was a better balance. He would be her friend; however, he would still maintain some distance.

(~*~)

Bella was groggy the following morning when she woke and trudged down the hall to the bathroom. The Cullens had quickly learned to keep a respectful distance when Bella first arose in the mornings. She preferred not to encounter any cheerful greetings or engage in conversation before she'd had a chance to relieve her bladder.

Essential business taken care of, Bella took a closer look at her reflection. The scrape on her right cheekbone didn't look as bad as it had when she'd gotten home yesterday afternoon. Unfortunately, it would clearly label her as some sort of klutz to all her new classmates. At least she could be grateful that she didn't look like she'd been in a fight. Though if people could see the dark bruises on her legs, they might think otherwise.

Carlisle was in the kitchen when Bella went to get breakfast. He was leaning against the counter, his arms behind him, bracing his body on either side. Carlisle's face was turned toward her and Bella realized that he must have been waiting for her. "Carlisle! Good morning!" Bella said with a smile, delighted. "How's it going at Porter?"

"Bella." Carlisle beamed back at her, and something inside Bella shifted, as though the world had been off-kilter and suddenly righted itself again. Without skipping a beat, Carlisle moved closer to examine her face. Tilting back her head in response to his hand under her chin, Bella remembered that Matt had done the same exact thing. Her face close to Carlisle's, she watched his golden eyes move while he took in the scrape. "Porter Medical doesn't have the same small-town dynamic that Forks Community did, so it's a change of pace," Carlisle answered her, still holding her chin.

"So, is that a bad thing?"

"Not at all." Carlisle let go, his examination over. "You're healing fine." For a split second Bella thought that he was going to cup her cheek, but then his hand was gone and he was across the kitchen. Had she imagined it? "So was the trip worth it?"

Bella took a moment to think about her answer while she assembled some cereal for breakfast. "Yeah, I think so. I liked all the people I was with, overall. I've already got plans to meet up with one of the girls, Anna, at lunch today." She sat at the table. "And Matt and Ramesh have invited us all over to their apartment this upcoming weekend for a party."

"Sounds like you're looking forward to it."

"I am. Matt and Ramesh both seem like really good guys. I think I would be comfortable at their place as much as anywhere. The invitation is open to Alice and Jasper, too."

"But…" Alice announced as she and Jasper entered the kitchen, "we won't be going."

Carlisle straightened from where he'd again been leaning against the countertop. "Why not?"

"You're not?" Bella asked at the same time, surprised. "I kind of thought you would."

"Do you want us there to hold your hand and protect you from the drunk college kids?" Alice was smiling.

"No," Bella protested. "Well, not exactly. I'd be happy if you came, too, but I _don't_ need a chaperone."

"Of course, you don't," Jasper said.

"You can do your first party solo; we'll be around plenty enough," Alice said, slipping into the seat next to Bella. Bella looked from her to Jasper and to Carlisle. Carlisle was frowning but he didn't say anything. Noticing her gaze on him, Carlisle turned and his features settled into a small smile.

"Is this party Friday or Saturday?"

"Friday," Bella answered.

"I'll be on duty. I'm afraid that means I won't be here to hold your hair back while you're bent over the toilet."

Bella crossed her arms over her chest, her chin arching stubbornly up. "Ha ha. Maybe I won't be drinking anything. I understand it's just as fun to watch everyone around you acting stupid."

"It's funnier if you already know them," Alice said.

"What do _you _know about drunken college kids?" Bella turned to face Alice.

"This isn't the first time I've gone to college, Bella."

"Hmmph." Bella cleared her bowl from the table and into the sink. "I'm not sure I'm ready to drink, but I'll decide once I'm there. Y'know, just lonely me, with a bunch of intoxicated humans and no vampire bodyguards." Bella might have been teasing, but she had to admit to herself, the situation sounded very normal. Maybe she wasn't disappointed that Alice and Jasper weren't going, after all.

"Just be careful, Bella," Carlisle said, "and call anyone at the house if you need a ride home."

Bella nodded. "I will." She turned out of the kitchen to go get dressed for classes. Behind her, Alice grabbed a sponge from the sink and wiped up the few miniscule drops of milk that were left behind on the table.

(~*~)

Making the decision to not drink was actually pretty easy. With no Alice or Jasper, and Anna catching a ride with Barry, Bella ended up driving herself to Matt and Ramesh's place. Which, of course, meant that she would have to drive herself home. As curious as Bella might be about tasting alcohol, she was still a cop's daughter, and she would not drive with a single drop of it in her system.

Bella was looking forward to seeing everyone, and to partying and having a good time, but if she were being honest with herself, Bella was really going because she wanted to see Matt again. Matt had been on her mind all week. Running into him three times had certainly helped that, though she knew once was by design on his part. Just as he had done the first time she'd met him, he'd been in the halls when she left her Literary Theory class on Wednesday. He'd grinned at her unabashedly and went with her to lunch, saying that he just wanted to make sure that she was coming on Friday. Bella had actually felt her insides turn to mush, a sensation she hadn't felt since - well, she couldn't remember when.

Matt had a way of casually touching. It was never intrusive, always friendly. A hand on her arm, a squeeze of her shoulder, nudging her knee with his while they ate lunch. He even brushed her hair of out her eyes once. Tall, golden-haired and twinkly-eyed, Matt was a very attractive guy – okay, she could say it, he was hot – who also happened to be friendly, smart and open. She really couldn't be sure if he was sending signals of being interested in her, or if he was just naturally affectionate with everyone. After all, when Ramesh joined her, Matt and Anna on Friday, he'd done the knee-nudging thing, too, and Ramesh was definitely not interested in her feminine charms.

Nah, she wasn't over-thinking this at all.

There were a lot of people at the party when Bella arrived, which was exactly how she wanted it. Alice had advised her to not show up too early. It would have been awkward, standing there and waiting for people to show up, most of whom she probably wouldn't know. Arriving before the rest of the crowd would have made her seem overeager, and that's something Bella would prefer to avoid.

"There she is!" came a call after Bella walked in. Ramesh made his way over and gave her a big sloppy kiss on the cheek. "Let me take your stuff; we're throwing it all on my bed."

"Thanks," Bella said, and looked around. She'd entered into the living room area: couches, open floor in the middle of the room, and a TV/stereo system up against the end wall. On the left was an open doorway into the kitchen, and the table was full of all kinds of drinks including, thankfully, a several bottles of soda. Bags of chips, pretzels and cheese balls were open helter-skelter beside a bowl of dip. When Bella followed Ramesh in, she noticed the magic markers beside three stacks of plastic cups in primary colors.

"What are those for?" she asked him, gesturing with her chin.

"To mark your cup, so you don't get it confused with someone else's when you set it down."

"Oh."

"Help yourself, love, I've got another jacket to collect."

Bella took his advice, and grabbed a cup. A hulking red-haired guy she didn't know was pouring out some Coca-Cola into his own cup, so she held hers out to him. "Hi."

"Hey," he answered back, and obligingly filled her cup two-thirds of the way. Bella took a sip, and it took her a second to get it when he gestured a bottle of Bacardi rum at her.

She shook her head. "Driving, but thanks."

"Hey there." Matt was suddenly right beside her and he gave her a quick one-armed hug around the waist and loosely left his arm there. "When did you get here?"

"Not five minutes ago."

"And already caught Ned's eye. Don't take him seriously, though. There's a reason why we call him Lightning, and it's not just because of what he can do on the lacrosse field."

_Lightning?_ Bella wondered. _Oh, it never strikes the same place twice._ Bella blushed, and hoped no one noticed.

"Don't pay any attention to this asshole," his friend answered. "I've always treated all the ladies with respect. Besides, I'm tied down now."

"No way." Matt's arm dropped. "Not Catelyn?"

"She finally said yes, and I'm not letting her go. In fact, I've got to get this to my girl right now before she misses me." Ned had been pouring yet another cup and he took off with it.

"Ned's a good guy, and it's about time." Bella turned to see Matt scooting to mark on her cup. "Just making sure," he explained, "since you're going DD tonight."

Bella turned the cup around so she could get a look at it. He'd drawn a very awkward looking bird. "If that's supposed to be a swan, I hope you aren't going to have to take drawing for your degree."

"Too late," Matt answered. "Hey, look who just arrived. C'mon, let me introduce you."

Bella soon lost track of names, and since he was one of the hosts, it wasn't long before Matt got lost in the throng. He and Ramesh were both staying sober tonight, which surprised Bella. Not because they were being responsible, but she would have thought at least one of them would be getting tipsy since they didn't have to drive anywhere. The party got louder; more people were talking and drinking, and the music was turned up.

Apart from Barry and Anna, Bella had caught up with the rest of the OINK crew, and she practiced a little bit at bumping hips with Lizbeth and Aimee while Liam shouted alternating jibes and compliments at all three of them. The living room was the main dance floor, and it became a mob pit when a Billy Idol classic came on. "Here she comes now saying Mony Mony…"

Bella got jostled from side to side, but the feeling in the apartment was so boisterous, she felt giddy instead of put-upon. As she laughed, arms wrapped around her from behind and Matt was dancing with her. When she turned her head, he gave her a cheeky wink. Then Bella got completely taken by surprise when the crowd fist-punched and jumped in the air, giving the song an entirely different chorus.

"'Cause you make me feel…"

"FUCKING HORNY!"

"So good…"

"FUCKING HORNY!"

"So good…"

Bella couldn't help it. She laughed loud and joined in at the next round, the back of her body brushing and grazing the front of Matt's as they jumped in the air. When the song was over, loosely transitioning into "Promiscuous" Bella turned and gave Matt an exhausted hug. "I need to get out of the press," she told him.

"My turn, then," Aimee said from beside them, and with a friendly wink at Bella, she grabbed Matt's hand. Bella gave them both a wave and wandered toward the kitchen. It took her longer to get there than she would have thought, since she wasn't the only one moving off. Bella found her empty cup, filled it with Coke, and took two or three rapid gulps. She casually wandered a little, and Liam caught up with her again.

"You having a good time?" he asked, but Bella only saw lips moving.

"What?" she shouted, and he repeated himself, leaning towards her ear.

"Yes!" she answered. "But I haven't seen Barry or Anna yet. Have you?"

"No," Liam shook his head. "But don't worry about it. It's easy to get lost or distracted at one of these things. I'll help you keep an eye out."

Bella nodded, and took another gulp of her soda. The dancing had definitely made her thirsty. She felt sweaty, and pulled on her sleeve to rub her brow.

"Let me get you another one." Liam was pointing to her drink. She'd drunk all of it.

"Sure!" Bella shouted back. As he wandered off with her empty red cup, Bella scanned around the room. It was so heavily packed in, Bella had to admit to feeling just a little like a fish out of water. She'd never partied like this. It was practically shoulder-to-shoulder now that more people had arrived. Bella stretched onto her toes to look over heads and see if she could spot Anna, and settled back down onto her heels with no luck.

A glance over at the drink table was better. She just barely saw Liam's navy t-shirt through the crowd, his back to her. He was, indeed, pouring Coca-Cola. Bella was relieved that everyone seemed to be cool with her not wanting to drink. It was a good bunch of people here.

Bella frowned and squinted at Liam. He should be heading back, but obviously he seemed to want something out of his pocket. The crowd moved again, blocking Liam temporarily. When he came back into view, Bella froze. Whatever Liam had taken out, he seemed to drop it in front him. While his left hand still clutched his blue plastic cup, Liam picked up her red one and turned back toward her.

He had just dropped something into her cup.

_What the fuck?_

Bella remained absolutely still, her eyes completely focused on Liam. He was coming back toward her, a smile on his face, as though everything were kosher, as though he were still her friend. Was this really the same guy that she had hiked through the woods with? The same guy who'd slept on the ground twenty feet from where she had, who'd laughed and joked with all of them? Did he think he was playing some sort of joke now?

No, this was no joke. Liam had slipped something into her drink. He was making his way back to her, intending to have her drink his little drug along with her Coke. _In her freaking Coke!_ Bella would be goddamned if she was going to let him just hand it to her.

Something in her face must have registered with Liam, because he paused, only three feet from her. His smile faltered a bit, but then he seemed to rally and took another step toward her. He opened his mouth to say something, but he was completely obstructed from view when someone stepped between them.

"Just what do you think you're doing?" Matt's words were ice. The set of Matt's shoulders was hard, and it might have been Bella's imagination, but his muscles seemed to have gotten bigger, straining against the cotton fabric of his shirt. "Give me that cup."

"Man, I don't know what you're talking about." Liam's voice was defensive, and Bella detected a faint touch of panic. Oh, he was _so_ going down.

"I do." Bella stepped up beside Matt so that she could look Liam in the eye. "There's _no way_ I'm going to drink that." Following Matt's example, Bella kept her speaking voice restrained. As far as anyone around them knew, they were just having a normal conversation. Of course, lots of people were a little too boozed to be noticing anything.

Ramesh, however, seemed to have cottoned on that something was up, and he joined them around Liam. "Are we having a problem here?"

Liam looked between the three of them, and then started talking loudly. "No, not at all. This is a great party, guys!" He raised his arms up like he was going to cheer, and his right arm bumped into two girls walking past. Bella's drink sloshed all over the nearest's arm as she careened into her friend. "Oh, no, I'm so sorry!" Liam turned away from Bella, Matt and Ramesh, and made overtures as though he was wiping the girl up. Both girls laughed and waved him off. When they kept moving, he started to follow them. Was he really that much of a fool?

Matt grabbed his arm.

"His right pocket," Bella said.

Ramesh immediately thrust his hand into Liam's pocket.

"Dude, what the fuck? Get off!" Liam tried to shove Ramesh away, but with Matt holding tight to his other side, it was just awkward. Of course, any attempt to not make a scene completely went out the window. Everyone was looking over, wondering what was going on.

It only took Ramesh a couple of seconds, but he came free from the tangle with a packet of pills in his hand. "Shit," he said. He glanced over at Bella, then quickly away as realization dawned.

"What did you just pull out of his pocket?" asked the dark-skinned girl whose friend had gotten Bella's drink spilled on her, her face set in a frown. "Let me see them."

Ramesh opened his palm but didn't let go. The girl took one look at them, and then glared at Liam, who remained locked in Matt's grip. "Piece of shit. Come on, Tammy, let's get you washed off."

Liam was the focus of open speculation, now. People had stopped dancing to figure out what was going on, and many of the faces showed comprehension. Two of Matt's lacrosse buddies whose names Bella couldn't remember came up. In a matter of minutes they were taking Liam out to his car, and people were moving again. Conversations started to rise to match the volume of the music, and the party was back to being underway.

"How are you doing?" Matt asked Bella.

"I'm fine." Bella shook her head. "I'm still a bit in disbelief, but I'm fine. What happens now?"

Matt ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know. We're off-campus, so I don't know if the college can even do anything. If you want to report him, I'm happy to back you up 100%."

"Thanks. You'd get in trouble, though, wouldn't you? Hosting underage drinking, supplying minors?"

"Like that's fucking important right now," Matt said with heat. Then his expression changed, and his words became soft and concerned. "Bella. Hey, Bella." He put his hands on her shoulders and rubbed soothingly.

"What?" Bella asked, dumbfounded. Why was Matt suddenly treating her like she was made of glass?

"You're trembling."

"Huh?" Bella looked down. She _was_ trembling. Bella could barely see her own fingers; they were shaking so much. "But – I feel fine."

"I think you should drive her home, Matt," Ramesh said. How long had he been standing there?

"I was thinking the same thing." Matt stooped to look Bella in the eye. "Bella, where are your car keys?"

"They're in my pocket." Bella started to try to fish them out, but then realized that her fingers would not cooperate. Man, she could feel the shakes now.

"We can take my car."

"You're blocked in; it's better to take Bella's." Ramesh turned to her. "Allow me, my lady. I have experience in these matters, and I assure you, your virtue is quite safe with me."

In less than five minutes, Matt had Bella's keys, Bella was wearing her jacket, and they were on the road.

"Where am I going?"

"To Morse Road." Bella gave him the street number of house and a description of what it looked like.

She had begun to shake a little less, and Matt kept her talking. "Tell me more about the family you live with."

"Oh, well, um." Bella had to scramble for the right words. "It's more like we're all part of the same family. It's not just that I went to school with Alice and Jasper; I also ran into Carlisle all the time in the ER."

Matt laughed. "Why do I get the feeling that you're not talking about being a candy-striper? Did you tumble off mountains there, too? No, wait, you jumped off a cliff."

"Stop," Bella laughed. "I twisted an ankle, got hit in the head by the door of my own truck, got fender-bendered by a cougar, sliced my hand open in a race for a kitchen knife, and - " Bella cut off at Matt's laughter. "I saved falling off of a mountain for you."

"I'm glad you did." Matt reached over and squeezed her hand. Bella realized she was no longer trembling. "Running into a cougar, huh? That must have been some experience."

Laughter was just easy around Matt. "No, I meant a woman. She was pretty much after Carlisle, so she used our minor bump as an excuse to go to the ER."

"Jesus, that's pathetic."

"There are all kinds of levels of pathetic," Bella said shortly.

Matt said nothing. They had reached the house, so he simply parked the car, and tightened his fists around the steering wheel. Bella waited silently.

"I got scared tonight," he said finally, turning to look at her. "I have this really strong urge to protect you." Bella wasn't sure what to say. If she was only looking at the surface of what he was saying, Bella might have protested that she wouldn't have taken the drink from Liam, that she didn't always need protection. That wasn't the point, though. Matt's words were about more than what had happened tonight.

His blue eyes were searching her face, looking to see if she understood. Shy for a second, Bella glanced down, and then up again to match her gaze with his. Matt moved closer to her, and then paused, waiting for her response. Bella didn't back away. Matt closed the distance.

_Oh, hot damn._ His lips were gentle at first, and then exploring, moving against her mouth as if to learn every texture. Bella let him, matched him, her heart pounding rapidly. Soon they were leaning together, and her hands were around his neck, his tongue stroking hers. It was a new sensation and Bella allowed herself to enjoy it for a few seconds before gently pulling away.

They both breathed for a moment, their breaths warm on the other's face, and then Matt placed a soft kiss on her forehead before moving back. When he opened his door, Bella did the same. They met around the front of the Toyota. "I'll bring your car back tomorrow. I can get Ramesh to follow me here, drive me back."

"Sounds good."

"So, I'll see you tomorrow then?" Matt smiled at her.

Bella nodded. "Tomorrow."

Bella made her way to the front door while Matt drove away. She wondered what Alice would have to say.

(~*~)

Bella found Alice in the kitchen, along with Esme, Maggie and Jasper. Jasper and Alice were sitting at the island, their dangling hands clasped between them. Across from them Maggie stood watching Esme, who hovered near the stove where a pot of water was heating.

"Hey," Bella said in greeting. She gestured to the pot. "What's with the water?"

"I thought you might like some tea," Esme said.

"Tea? Yeah, sure, why not?"

Esme nodded and fetched a mug. Once she had it down, however, she turned and clasped Bella in a light hug. Bella was surprised, but then she wrapped her arms around Esme and didn't let go.

"Bella, I'm sorry," Alice said.

"Suffice it to say, we know how your evening went, Bella," Maggie said.

Bella had her head buried against the crook of Esme's neck, and she turned toward Alice. "You've got nothing to be sorry about Alice."

"Sure, I do. I mean, I knew that you'd be okay, and that you and Matt would . . . but I didn't know that rohypnol in your drink would be a part of anything."

Bella pulled away from Esme, who went to the pot of boiling water that Maggie had thoughtfully turned off, and turned toward Alice. "I don't think I've ever heard you not be able to complete a sentence before, Alice. I'm okay, and you knew I would be."

Alice shook her head. "I did, but I didn't see the drink. It wasn't a firm decision on his part to target you."

Bella did what felt natural, and hugged Alice. "It must be terrible to try to see everything, Alice. I don't care if you're supernatural, you can't do it all. You saw I'd be fine, and that's enough. I know without a doubt that if you'd seen me take that drink you would have shown up and stopped anything from happening." Bella stepped back. "And look at me." She held up her hands. "I'm not shaking anymore. I'm good."

"Well, Matt Dillingham had a lot to do with that." Maggie's lips were pursed in a very amused smirk.

Jasper grinned, leaning into the back of his barstool and tilting it on its hind legs. "Yes, tell us about Matt."

Bella crossed her arms, and spoke tauntingly. "Only if you braid my hair while I do it, Jazz."

"Oh, do tell us anyway, Bella." Esme pressed the hot mug of sweetened tea into Bella's hand. Bella took a sip. It'd been a long time since she had a cup of tea; it was flavorful and went down smoothly. Bella felt herself relax even more.

"Well," she began, "he'll be here tomorrow."

"We heard that," Maggie pointed out.

"How much to do you already know?" Bella asked the room, but locked eyes on Alice. "You never did finish that sentence, Alice."

"I know that tonight brought you and Matt closer. You're going to have to tell us the rest."

Bella took another sip. "I don't know what the rest is yet. Something's happening, and I like it."

"Matt does, too." This came from Jasper.

Bella colored a little.

(~*~)

It was mid-afternoon when Carlisle turned onto the long driveway leading up to the house. He'd just worked 36 hours straight, and was looking forward to being home again. He was curious to know how Bella had enjoyed her party. As the house came into view, he noted that Bella must have some friends over. There was an unfamiliar car parked in front of the house, and he could smell two humans inside. They were both male.

Carlisle entered his home, allowing the muscles in his face to slacken, increasing the appearance of being tired. The guests were in the living room, sitting on the couch with Bella. One was dark, of clear Indian descent, and the other was fair. The Indian boy was sitting with one ankle on his knee, leaning back and grinning. His face was open and friendly, conveying an easy-going temperament. From the way he looked Carlisle over as he'd entered the room, he was also obviously homosexual.

The other boy was slightly less extroverted. Both feet were on the floor before him, and his back was straight. He didn't look uncomfortable; good posture came naturally to him. He was fit and well-toned, though there was a slight weakness in his left leg that would give him trouble later in life. He was turned toward Bella, his body leaning.

"Carlisle!" Bella jumped up when she noticed him and gave him a quick hug. A touch of the blond boy's scent had crossed with hers, and when she pulled back Carlisle noticed that her pupils were slightly dilated. On the couch, both boys were assessing him and one was frowning. Bella turned. "Carlisle, this is Matt Dillingham and Ramesh Rana."

Matt stood up and extended his hand. "Pleased to meet you." His tone was friendly enough. It did not escape Carlisle's notice that he'd intended to add "sir" at the end of that sentence, but hesitated and dropped it. Carlisle made eye contact and took his hand. He noted that they were very similar in physical body types, only Matt stood about an inch taller. His pupils were constricting.

"Hello," Carlisle said. "You were Bella's OINK leader last weekend, right?"

"Yes, that we were," Ramesh answered, moving in between them to offer his own hand.

Carlisle obligingly gave a brief shake. "Everything go okay last night?"

Bella's face lost its sunny expression. "Not exactly."

"Bella wasn't hurt." Matt was quick to reassure. "But I did bring her home last night."

"And I tagged along today so we could return her car."

Carlisle knew that Bella had decided not to drink, and he found it unlikely that she would have changed her mind. It was obvious, though, that something had happened. A look exchanged with Alice and Jasper told him that he was the only one in the dark. Why hadn't Alice called or texted him last night?

"What happened?" he asked.

Bella put her hand on his arm. "Some guy at the party was a jerk. We caught him slipping something into my drink-"

"_What?_"

"I'm okay. I saw it; Matt saw it. I was safe the whole time."

"We got the stuff off of him, and had him thrown out," Matt continued.

"It's safe to say that everyone there noticed what was up," Ramesh added. "I wouldn't be surprised if the whole campus has heard what kind of douchebag he is by now."

Carlisle was watching Bella. She was fiddling with an end of her hair, twisting and untwisting it around a finger. He put his hands on her upper arms, which made her lift her face toward his. "Are you doing alright?"

Bella bit her lip and dropped her hand. "I am. If you don't mind waiting a few minutes, I'll tell you everything."

Looking down at her, Carlisle nodded his head, acceding to her wishes. Bella smiled her thanks.

Beside them, Matt was looking from one to the other. "Well, we'd better get going."

"Yeah," Ramesh agreed. "As much as I hate to get back to it, there's still a lot of picking up and cleaning yet to do."

"Alright, I'll walk you guys out." Bella stepped back as Carlisle let go.

"Thank you, both," Carlisle said with respect to Matt and Ramesh. A terrible thing had almost happened at their party, and they had handled it well.

"You're welcome."

"Not a problem."

The boys made their goodbyes to the Cullens with the usual pleasantries and Bella followed them as they exited. Once they were out of the room, Carlisle looked to Alice and Jasper. "How was she when she got back last night?"

"She was shook up at first," Jasper answered, "but Matt made her feel better as they drove here."

"Talking with you will help to finally clear her mind," Alice said. "She still needs you."

The two of them left the living room without another word.

(~*~)

Outside the house Ramesh showed some discretion and went straight to his car and got in. Alone with Matt, Bella started to stuff her hands into her pants pockets, only to realize that she didn't have any. She rubbed the tops of her thighs, pretending that was her intention all along.

Matt was glancing back at the house. "So… Carlisle – how old is he, again?"

"Uh…" Bella had to stop and think about the cover story. "Twenty-nine."

Matt nodded, and his lips pursed as though he was thinking hard on something. Bella was about to ask him what was on his mind, when he looked back at her, an eyebrow raised and eyes shining. "You got plans for Friday?"

Bella blinked at the abruptness. "No," she answered.

Matt took her hand and smiled at her. "Spend it with me?"

Bella's lips quivered in amusement. He was putting on his charm at full blast. "Alright. Doing what?"

"I'll think of something."

(~*~)

Carlisle heard Ramesh take his leave of Bella and get into his car. He wasn't surprised to sense Matt and Bella lingering. Their mutual attraction was obvious. It felt very strange to him to see something like this in its early stages. He'd seen human couples form through his work, but this time it was family. Alice and Jasper had arrived a mated pair. With Esme and Maggie it had been immediately apparent to everyone, and Carlisle had given them their space after he'd given them his blessing. Or maybe he had given himself the space.

"So… Carlisle – how old is he again?" Matt was asking.

"Uh… twenty-nine," Bella answered.

Standing perfectly still in the middle of the living room, Carlisle didn't even breathe. He'd been right. Renee had been right. His presence was a deterrent to Bella getting a chance for romance. Matt was feeling uncertain and, though Carlisle couldn't be completely sure on this one, just a touch jealous. Not that he had anything to worry about. Carlisle would keep his distance, but he wasn't going to schedule his day around whether or not a college kid had come calling. Truthfully, any suitor that would be scared off simply from Carlisle coming home wasn't worth Bella's time. Carlisle heard Matt prove his worth and ask for a date.

Bella gave the right answer. Carlisle felt a shaft of loneliness pierce through him. Bella deserved a chance at romance with this young man. She was attracted to him, and Matt was clearly willing. It would be good for her to learn a little of love.

Carlisle's gaze dropped and he began assessing patterns in the grain of the hardwood floor while his mind continued to analyze his reaction to Bella having a beau. He would miss spending time with her. He'd already missed opportunities because of his own distancing, and there would be even fewer of them now. Which was as it should be for as long as was necessary and as long as the romance might last. For Bella's sake, he hoped it lasted a long time. Carlisle stopped staring at minute patterns in the floor – he'd noticed 327 of them – and turned to face the doorway.

Bella was returning to the living room. Whatever would be in the near future, Bella was about to spend at least the next part of the afternoon with him. Mixed emotions were crossing her face as she looked at him. She was shifting from the elation of being with Matt to preparing to discuss how she was dealing with what had happened at the party. Carlisle held his hand out to her, and she took it. They both sank down on the loveseat. Carlisle listened, holding securely onto her hand, as she related the incidents of the previous night. Emotions were pouring out of her. As much as he wanted to put his arm around her and pull her close – Carlisle only held her hand.

* * *

**Next chapter... Carlisle watches Matt and Bella grow closer, Edward learns about Matt, and we'll have a little Rocky Horror. Can you guess who will play which role?**


	25. Chapter 25

**Happy 2 years of "Moonlit!" :-) Note: Two scenes toward the end of the chapter have not been seen by my beta.**

* * *

~*~ Chapter Twenty-Five ~*~

_Oh, sweet Jesus._ Matt was kissing the side of her neck, and it felt _amazing._ How could a touch on one little part of her body send off _so_ many signals to the rest of her? Bella let out a little moan, and was grateful that she was sitting down. She doubted her legs would have been able to hold her up. Her hands curled at the nape of Matt's neck. He raised his head and kissed her lips again, and slowly, they started sliding down on the couch. Oh god, it felt so wonderful.

Even when his hands started pulling on the waist of her shirt, moving up underneath, she didn't want it to stop. But her heart was pounding fast, her breath was getting short, and she needed a moment to breath. Bella put her hand on Matt's wrist, stopping him, and pulled her mouth away from his. Matt stilled his hands, but he continued to lightly kiss her, soft presses of his mouth across her cheek. "Is everything alright?" he whispered into her ear.

Bella nodded her head. "Yes," she answered breathily, but then put her hands behind her and pushed herself back up into a sitting position. She and Matt were on his couch, and alone in the apartment. It was the first week of October and they'd managed to see a lot of each other since their first date the week after the party. After picking her up on campus Matt had surprised her by taking her to the Robert Frost Trail. It was thoughtful of him to try to merge her interest in Literary Studies with his in the outdoors. When Matt had gotten out of the car and held out his hand to her, Bella had hesitated. She had agreed to do the Trail with Carlisle, but she was hardly in a position to back out. Counting on Carlisle understanding, Bella had put her hand in Matt's.

Afterward, they had seen each other nearly every day: lunches, study groups, evening get-togethers with various people - particularly Ramesh, Barry and Anna. They weren't exactly attached at the hip, but the chemistry was tangible. There was no official becoming a couple. It was just spending time together, enjoying each other's company with and without other friends around. There'd been lots of kisses and touching, but tonight was their first time alone together in a private setting.

Matt sat back, making sure that he wasn't overwhelming Bella. "Hey, listen," he said gently. "You know I'm not expecting anything. It's still pretty early for that kind of thing, okay?" Matt put his hand on the side of Bella's head, his fingers combing her hair, and he smiled when he made eye contact with her.

"I know." Bella smiled back. "It's just that this is kind of new for me."

"What is?" Matt asked slowly, surprise clear on his face. "This?"

Bella nodded. His surprise made her feel self-conscious, as though she needed to explain why she'd never been in this position before. She bit her bottom lip as she tried to find the words. Matt put his arms around her, and leaned back into the couch, curling her into his side. "I don't know how I got so lucky. Bella, you are amazing – smart, beautiful, funny. That I'm the first person you've let this close to you is a gift I'm not going to take lightly."

Bella smiled; she couldn't help it. She just felt warm inside. "Well, I can't say I haven't kissed before, but you would be my first boyfriend." Matt's body was hard and soft in all the right places. He didn't feel like a cold statue gradually heating, but was flesh and bone, generating his own heat. Bella liked the way her hip could settle against his, side to side. He molded into her as much as she did into him.

"Boyfriend, huh?" Matt nuzzled the top of her head teasingly. Bella snorted and jabbed him in the side. "Does that mean there isn't anyone else you're looking at?"

"No, there's no one else." Bella laughed at him without missing a beat. She was rewarded with a kiss. Still smiling, Bella let her lips settle into kissing him back. She started to wonder why Matt would ask her if there was someone else, but got distracted as the heat between the two of them flared. This time they remained sitting up, though their hands still wandered. Matt's found their way into her hair, and her own moved up and down his chest, around his waist. There was confidence in the way Matt's lips moved on her, his hands holding and touching her.

It didn't matter, but the need to know made Bella reluctantly pull her lips back, creating an awkward popping sound as the suction was broken. "Matt, um, I'm guessing that you're not a virgin?"

Matt moved his hand down from her hair to stroke her back. "No, I'm not," he answered honestly.

"Does that make it harder for you to not keep going?"

He breathed in through his nose, and shifted Bella so that they were better able to face each other. "Bella, some things don't need to be said, but I want to be clear that this isn't casual for me. I don't know where you and I are going, but I'm here to see it through. Yes, I want to kiss you and touch you and hopefully, one day, make love with you – but that will come on its own when the time is right. I'm willing to take it at a pace that's right for you."

"Okay." Bella nodded. This guy was just the next thing to perfection. Some of his blond hair fell in front of his eyes, and Bella brushed it away.

Matt took her hand and kissed it. "When the time comes, I want it to be special for you."

Bella settled in against his side again. He put his arm around her and leaned back, so that they were both reclined on the couch. They lay there for a moment, just cuddling, their fingers intertwined and stroking.

"Was your first time special?" Bella asked.

Matt tensed slightly. "No." He was silent awhile, and just when Bella thought he wasn't going to continue, he spoke again. "I was fifteen and at one of those big parties that rich families like to throw to congratulate themselves on how well off they are. Some of them are fun, and some of them are obligatory. My family has a lot of friends, and I grew up with a lot of other kids just like me. So I thought I knew what I was doing when a bunch of us ended up on our own in another wing of the house. We were drinking, and letting loose a little. There were a couple girls there, older. I knew them, but not well. One of them got me alone. She had this pink dress - with nothing on underneath, as it turned out. I didn't really want to, but she had me on my back and before I knew it, it was happening."

Bella tightened her fingers around his, gripping them in her closed fist as she bent her neck to look at him. He didn't look sad or frightened. Not even angry, really. But there was regret. "I didn't even like her. Sure, I'd have a drink or a laugh if she was around with some of us, but nothing more than that."

"What happened after?"

"Not a damn thing. I'd see her every once in awhile, but I never hung out with her again. Fifteen's too young to have sex. I might have thought that I was ready, but I wasn't."

"I'm sorry."

"It's just history, Bell." Matt shrugged. "Nothing to be done about it. I'm still me – and I hate pink."

Bella didn't know how to brush his story off so casually, but she had to let Matt set the tone. Sometimes the past needed to stay in the past. "Then it's a good thing you'll never see me in pink," she quipped.

Matt grinned and pulled Bella closer. "It's one of the many things I like about you." His voice grew husky. "And I'm sure I'll love your pink."

"My…?" It took a couple seconds for it to sink in.

Matt laughed. "See? You're turning a delightful shade of pink right now."

Her cheeks burned even hotter. Matt gave her a loud raspberry on one of them.

(~*~)

The rounded wall of the Panther Reading Room was made of glass, so it was a good thing that they were meeting after sundown. Part of Bella wished she were in one of the cushy chairs facing the windows. They were akin to La-Z-Boys with a desk. One girl had actually reclined her seat and fallen asleep. Next time she came here alone Bella was definitely nabbing one.

At one of the long study tables, Bella scribbled into her notebook, muttering as she looked between the novel's printed pages and her white lined page. "I hated A Heart of Darkness in high school, and I hate it even more now."

"Come on, Bella, I've never seen you balk at a literary challenge," Jasper encouraged.

"The challenge isn't the issue; it's the content. Though I did notice that she started us off easy," Bella said, speaking of her Literary Theory professor. "Feminism in Shakespeare. Now it's Cultural Criticism of Conrad." She scribbled some more, and then shut the book. "I'm spent on this topic for now, though. Moving on to BibLit."

"Speaking of feminism and the bible," Anna said, looking up from her own set of books down at the other side of the table. "I just read something you might be interested in. It's about offering a less patriarchal interpretation of the bible, and focuses on the book of Matthew for example."

"Sounds like something I might need later," Bella agreed, and flipped to a fresh page in her other notebook. "What's it called?"

"Postcolonial Feminist Interpretation of the Bible."

Matt rolled his eyes. "That sounds like a snoozer."

"Are you an anti-feminist, Matt?" Anna asked, her voice mockingly polite.

Matt held his palms up. "Not at all. I did, however, take a class on postcolonialism last year, and it is certainly not my favorite subject."

While Matt and Anna briefly bantered, Bella kept on reading, running the back of her pen across her bottom lip. "I should really talk with Carlisle about some of this stuff."

Matt turned and looked at her. "Carlisle? Why?"

"Literature is one of Carlisle's hobbies," Alice answered.

"Mm-hmm," Bella confirmed, only half her attention on the conversation. "I anticipate being able to take advantage of his library during the next four years."

"The guy's a doctor, how does he find the time?" Matt looked between Bella, Alice and Jasper. "Where did he go to school?"

This brought Bella's head up. _What did I just say?_ Trying not to show any alarm, Bella made eye contact with Alice. "Uh…"

"Hey guys, sorry I'm late." Ramesh plopped his books down on the empty space at the table. "And we've only got a little over an hour before auditions. You're coming with us, right?" His open gaze swept everyone at the table and settled on Bella.

"Um," Bella furrowed her brow at him, "wasn't planning on it?"

"You haven't asked Bella yet?" Ramesh looked at Matt, who shook his head in answer.

"Ask me what?"

Still standing, Ramesh hooked his thumbs through his front belt loops. "We want you to do _Rocky_ with us."

"Oh!" Alice let out a brief squeal and clapped her hands.

"What's _Rocky_?"

"_The Rocky Horror Picture Show_." Alice face was lit right up. "It's a cult classic, Bella. This is going to be _so_ much fun."

Seeing Bella's confused expression, Matt clarified, "It's a rock musical parodying science fiction B-movies."

"Oh, I think I heard of it. Very campy, right?"

"We're coming," Alice answered while Matt nodded at Bella. "We are definitely coming."

"Excellent." Ramesh put out his hand for a high-five with Alice, but was left hanging.

Jasper leaned back in his chair and folded his arms over his chest. Alice turned and glared at him, which hid her eyes from the rest of the table. After a beat she said, "I'm really not going to convince you to do this with us, am I?"

Jasper shook his head.

"Hey, no problem." Ramesh sat down. "At least we got the two of you coming along. Anna?"

Anna nodded. "I'll come watch auditions, if only to keep Bella from being railroaded by you three. I can't do the show, though; I'm already doing VSO and GlobeMed."

"Taking on a lot first year in, aren't you?"

"That is why I chose Middlebury," Anna retorted.

Matt spoke softly to Bella. "You sure you want to come tonight? I don't want you to feel pressured."

"Don't worry about it." Bella smiled. "I'm game."

(~*~)

After the auditions, Bella was in a sort of daze as she drove back to the house with Alice. _Rocky Horror_ was hands-down the strangest thing she'd ever seen. Dancing aliens, fishnets and just about everyone sleeping with each other. The title character, clearly Matt's part, was a man created specifically for sex. Of course, the idea of Matt being made for sex wasn't exactly difficult to believe.

"Watching auditions wasn't the best way to get your cherry popped."

Bella blinked at Alice. "What did you just say?"

"That's the lingo. You were a _Rocky_ virgin and tonight your cherry was popped."

Bella snorted. "A sexual metaphor. I don't know why I was surprised."

Alice gave Bella a knowing smile. "Come on, you liked it. You're not just doing this for Matt and Ramesh."

"Some of the songs were catchy and it was funny, at times."

"You should hear all the call-outs. It's an essential part of the live theatre experience, and you need to catch up before rehearsals start. We'll watch the movie tonight, straight through."

"You already have a copy of the movie." Bella's voice was dry.

"I've had a copy of the movie for a long time." Alice defended herself. "And I might have some props already… and the costumes."

"Oh, boy."

Alice gave a self-satisfied grin.

(~*~)

Bella owed Ramesh a plateful of cookies, or a bottle of wine, or something. Over the last few weeks, he was conveniently gone whenever she headed back to their apartment with Matt. That of course, was just Bella's first thought when they walked through the door. At that moment, while music played softly on the stereo, her thoughts weren't on Ramesh at all.

Their shirts were off. Matt was incredibly muscular, and his skin was so smooth. She ran her hands down his chest, stopping under his navel, where a bit of blond hair gathered in a downward trail. With one finger, Bella cautiously stroked it; it was fine and soft, growing coarser closer to the edge of his jeans.

Matt kissed her shoulder, right where her bra strap met skin. Slowly, Matt ran his hands down along the straps, and across her back. A finger, then two, slipped underneath where the fabric joined. Bella arched her chest closer to Matt, giving his hands more room. She felt the pressure give as her bra became undone.

Before it came completely off, she kissed him. Over and over, their lips met unrepentantly and she lost herself in the warm sensations, almost forgetting about what she wasn't wearing. Matt cupped her, thumbs gently stroking in small circles. His lips moved across her jaw, down her neck.

"Do you know what you like?" he whispered in her ear.

"I like you," she whispered back.

She felt his smile against her skin. "That's a good place to start."

(~*~)

October had a little over a week left. The leaves had mostly turned brown, and very few still clung to the branches that had held them all summer long. Carlisle had enjoyed watching them change; many years had passed since he'd seen a New England autumn. It was one of the many rewards of living in Vermont.

Alice and Jasper were doing well at the college. Rather than having to turn in the same academic rote that repeated attendance at high school required, they were enjoying getting to pursue subjects that actually interested them. Carlisle believed they found the extra breathing room of being at college liberating.

Despite his intentions to spend more time with Bella, the opportunities were still few and far between. He frequently worked thirty-six hour shifts at the hospital, with brief periods off-duty in between. The times that he was home, Bella usually was not, or she was asleep in her bed. Occasionally their paths would cross, and Bella would have a friend or two over: Anna, occasionally Ramesh, but most often Matt.

Bella and Matt had clearly formed an attachment to one another, and Bella was all the better for it. Whenever Carlisle saw her, her eyes were bright and her smile was quick and easy. In truth, Carlisle was relieved. Apart from this relationship being good for Bella, it also something that would have happened on its own. Carlisle had never been in any position to block it, and Renee's words of warning could finally be let go. He was not an impediment to Bella.

For the first time since the move to the eastern United States, Rosalie and Edward were visiting, arriving on one of Carlisle's rare full days off. It was only to be a brief visit, but Carlisle was grateful all the same to see them. Rosalie's greeting was enthusiastic, but she was a bit more silent than usual. Carlisle didn't think that he would ever stop worrying about her.

He was pleased when Edward accompanied him to his office. Edward sat in the armchair, tossing an arm over the back. Rather than go to his usual spot behind the desk, Carlisle sat across from Edward on the couch. It felt as though it had been a long time since he and Edward had a conversation one-on-one. It was a sad remembrance, for there had been years when all conversations only involved the two of them. It had been wonderfully freeing for Carlisle to have him there to speak with and laugh with. He'd enjoyed and needed the acceptance and companionship Edward offered.

"It is good to see you, as always, Edward." And painful, but Carlisle suppressed that momentary flare. Not soon enough, for Edward smiled at him sadly. Yet Edward seemed as equally determined as he to not revisit the same argument.

"It's good to be here. Though it is odd to see everyone settled in so modern a home."

"The house is comfortable, and the best option that was for sale. We have privacy, and Bella has an easy commute to the campus."

Edward ran a hand through his ever-unruly hair. "Yes… Bella… how has that been working out?"

Carlisle frowned. "I don't understand what you mean."

"Living with a human. You have to admit it's a bit different from simply having her visiting."

"Moving in with Bella was absolutely the right decision to make. Something would feel missing if she wasn't here with us. There are times," Carlisle smiled fondly, "when Bella can get a little self-conscious, but that's the worst of the adjusting we've needed to do."

"Where is Bella now? Out studying?" Edward asked.

"Possibly, but not likely. I believe she's at her boyfriend's place."

Edward stopped moving. "Bella has a boyfriend?"

"Yes, they met early on. He was her outdoor orientation leader."

Edward's head was tilted to the side, a gesture Carlisle knew to mean he was either overwhelmed by or focusing on thoughts. Edward swallowed before speaking. "'OINK?'"

"Yes."

"Funny, I would have expected more from such a prestigious school."

"The students enjoy a sense of fun. For instance, as you may already be aware, Alice and Bella will be participating in their production of _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_ this Halloween."

Edward let out a snort. "I can imagine Alice would make a great Columbia."

Carlisle smiled. "A little too spot-on, I've learned. I had to have a discussion with her about exercising caution."

"What role does Bella mimic? Not Janet?" Edward's expression was both amused and a little horrified.

"No part that large, just a Transylvanian," Carlisle answered, picturing the large gold glasses and blue cummerbund. Edward snorted. "It should be a good show."

"Do you intend to go?"

"I wouldn't miss it. You should come, too. It's been two decades since we attended the one in Ohio."

Edward shook his head. "I'd like to, but I doubt Rosalie will want to be in the area. Halloween is a night she prefers to be on the lookout in the big cities."

In acknowledgement, Carlisle gave a single blink of his eyes and inclined his head.

Edward pressed his lips together before speaking again. "So Bella has a boyfriend. That leaves you alone."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Alice and Jasper, Maggie and Esme - when Bella came into the family you finally stopped being the fifth wheel. You're the odd man out again, now that she's partnered up."

"Bella's hardly mated to the boy," Carlisle protested, but then his expression softened. "She _is_ happy. Just yesterday morning she was singing 'Hot Patootie' in the shower."

"Not 'Creature of the Night?'" Edward waggled his eyebrows a little mockingly.

Carlisle frowned at him. "Out of respect for Bella, I'd rather not be thinking about that."

"When _do_ you think about sex, Carlisle? I know things did not nearly progress that far with you and Esme, and you haven't sought out companionship since. Aren't you tired of being alone?"

The change in topic took Carlisle by surprise, and it made him tense up. "Edward, you know better than anyone that I am not alone. Alone is what I was for over two and a half centuries before you came into my life."

Edward was looking right at him and, Carlisle felt, right through him. "But are you lonely, Carlisle?"

Abruptly, Carlisle remembered the conversation he had with Bella in her car, how she had put her hand on his. _"Do you ever get lonely?" "Sometimes."_ Knowing that Edward had seen the memory, he answered, "I will tell you what I told her. I regret my casual encounters, as amiable as they were. I don't feel capable of going there again."

"So when will you?"

Carlisle allowed a small indulgent smile to cross his features. "Is it a crime to wait for love?"

"Yes."

"What?" Carlisle was startled.

"Why aren't you going after love, Carlisle?" Edward was staring Carlisle down, and Carlisle was staring back, dumbstruck. The moment was broken when Edward tilted his head to the side again.

"Are you suggesting that I turn my back on my family and go on a search for a mate, one that will very likely prove fruitless? Does some part of you believe that after all my years of solitude I would walk out on what I have now and search for something new?"

Edward winced. "Of course not."

Still incredulous, Carlisle shook his head and moved away from Edward. He started to pace, his long, quick strides taking him across the length of the floor once. When he turned and saw Edward standing, Carlisle came to a stop.

"Carlisle, just stop for a moment and think with me. When I say 'go after love,' what is your true response?"

Of course, Edward had seen through his outrage. That had only been a surface reaction. Carlisle let out a sigh, letting go of the negative emotions. He closed his eyes and looked deeper. He had been lonely for so long. It was familiar, a skin he had become comfortable wearing, even as it grew painful when those around him showed how in love they were. No, Carlisle wasn't afraid of loneliness.

"Fear," he answered, looking again at Edward.

"You're afraid of falling in love."

"No, I'm afraid of losing love." It all ran through his mind. The moment Esme's and Maggie's eyes connected for the first time. The platonic kiss on the cheek when he and Esme ended their courtship. The arguments with Edward when he decided to leave with Rosalie. The brief glance back Rosalie had given when the two of them left. A woman, a son and friend, a daughter: all stepping beyond the reach of the caring he offered.

The reveal was a little overwhelming. Carlisle didn't have anything to hide, but he wasn't comfortable being quite this exposed to Edward. That level of trust hadn't been present between them for years. His defense was to allow a more comfortable truth to be seen, the newer memories Carlisle had which gave him contentment: laughing with Esme and Maggie; the newly arrived Alice and Jasper setting their things in a bedroom; Rosalie and Edward standing by the tree this last Christmas and Bella - holding his hand in her car.

Edward's jaw slackened as he watched Carlisle's mind flash through the pain and contentment. Then he firmed his lips and walked across to place his hands on Carlisle's shoulders. "You have not lost me."

"I have what you give me now. The best friend I knew seventy-five years ago rarely makes an appearance. I cannot help feeling his loss."

Edward tightened his grip. "I'm here now, Carlisle, and at the risk of sounding cliché, I have always been just a phone call away."

"You walked away from me, and chose to do something that I am morally opposed to. I'm not trying to have the same argument again, Edward, but surely you realize that I couldn't exactly just call you when I wanted to? I'd been doing nothing but reaching out to you, and you still left with Rosalie."

"I never thought that you needed me; Esme and Maggie have been here to help take care of you."

When Esme, then Maggie, had entered into their lives, Carlisle had gained more than one person to talk to, to open himself with. In his mind, his family had simply grown. Later, when Edward had left with Rosalie, Carlisle had known that a part of his son had felt obligated, a debt to her that couldn't be repaid. Yet until that very moment, Carlisle had never seen that Edward had gone where he'd felt the most needed, that Rosalie needed him more than Carlisle did. He had been so blind.

Carlisle put a hand over one of Edward's and stared into his eyes. "You cannot be replaced, Edward. For every person that's come into my life since you, I have not stopped caring about you and needing you in my life."

Edward smiled the truly bright smile that lit up his face. It was a smile Carlisle hadn't seen in years, and it lightened his heart. Things between he and Edward were better again. As one, they both released their hold.

"Fine," Edward said, "then as your BFF, will you please allow me to continue giving you a swift kick in the ass? Stop hiding from love, Carlisle."

Carlisle let his head tilt back as he laughed. "I hear your words, Edward, but I cannot help but wonder at the source. When are _you_ going to look for love?"

"Perhaps I'll find someone when I am free to."

"Last I knew, love didn't wait until it was convenient."

"Wait a second," Edward gestured with his hand, "who's arguing what here?"

"I'd say we're arguing the same side."

"No," Edward shook his head at Carlisle with a grin. "No, I'm not going to let you try to close the subject, not until I get a promise from you."

"What sort of promise?"

"That when your eyes are opened, you'll stop being afraid."

"What do you mean, when my eyes are opened?"

Edward was tilting his head again. "I mean that when you look to love, that you aren't afraid of it."

Carlisle blinked his eyes. Where was Edward coming up with this? Carlisle couldn't deny that Edward once had a sort of youthful idealistic wisdom. However, he thought his friend had lost that positive outlook years ago, that the minds of all those whom he encountered had tainted it. On the other hand, it wasn't just villainy that Edward encountered out in the world. Their own family was proof of that. "All right, Edward, I promise."

A lop-sided grin came out. "Excellent. Now give me a moment to think of what else I can get you to promise me. I've got to take advantage of the moment while it lasts."

Carlisle laughed. "I can't imagine that there are very many things I can do for you that you'd need me to promise."

Both vampires heard the sound of a car coming up the driveway.

"Bella." Carlisle stated the obvious.

Edward crinkled his nose. "She's not alone. She brought The Pig with her."

Bella and Matt were already inside and greeting Jasper and the women when Carlisle and Edward made it from the third floor down to the living room. "I didn't know you guys were coming by," she was saying to Rosalie.

"Surprise," Edward said, and opened his arms for a hug. Carlisle noticed Bella's brow furrow at his tone, but she accepted his embrace without reserve.

Bella stepped back and put a hand behind Matt's waist. "This is Matt."

"Hi." Matt extended his hand, but his smile faltered when Edward merely looked at it. Carlisle sighed inwardly. Sometimes rudeness was a cloak the family used to shield too much personal contact. He wished Edward wasn't making use of that option right now. Then again, Carlisle noted Edward was also refraining from breathing. It had, after all, been five months since he'd last been near Bella's scent. He was just being cautious, and a little rudeness to Bella's boyfriend was a small price to pay.

"Don't mind Edward," Bella said, though her eyes were shooting surprised and angry daggers at him. "He takes a while to warm up to people." She turned to Matt. "I'm going to run to the bathroom and then switch out my books. Be right back." She gave Matt a peck on the cheek and ran off, but not before smiling at Carlisle and squeezing his arm in greeting. The fabric of his shirt retained a slight bit of warmth from her hand.

"So." Matt shoved his hands into his front jeans pockets. "Bella said that you two were schoolmates of Alice and Jasper's?"

"Yes," Rosalie answered while Edward said nothing. He looked once from Matt to Carlisle while Esme took on the social roll.

"The kids were so close, we've come to think of Rosalie and Edward as family, much as we have with Bella. It's always a pleasure when they come visit."

"So are neither of you attending college?"

Back in the bathroom, Carlisle heard Bella singing over the running water as she washed her hands. "It's the pelvic thrust, that really drives you insane…"

Carlisle smiled and made eye contact with Edward, intending to share the amusement with him. Edward gave a slight acknowledgment with his head, but didn't return the smile.

(~*~)

Once she'd picked up the books that she needed, Bella said goodbye to Edward and Rosalie, promising to spend time with them when she got back. Back in her car, Matt cursed a little. "Who the hell was that guy?"

Bella sighed. Obviously, Edward had continued behaving like an ass in her absence. "I told you, he's an old schoolmate of Alice and Jasper's."

"He looks like he's still in high school."

"He certainly was behaving like it. I'm sorry you were subjected to that."

"Don't apologize. You're not responsible for his behavior." Matt glanced her way. "Honestly? I think he was jealous."

"Jealous?" Bella frowned, not liking the thought. Anything that ever happened between her and Edward was long past. The last few times she'd seen him there'd never been any hint that he harbored feelings for her.

"Yeah. Do you have any – Has he ever hit on you?"

"Um… sort of?" _Well, gee, Bella, that answer is clear as mud, _she thought to herself._ Don't go giving Matt the wrong idea._ "He kissed me once, but that was a long time ago. He got over his … issue with me."

"Having feelings for you is an issue?"

"Stop," Bella laughed. "Edward is a bit of a jerk sometimes, but he's okay overall. He chilled out enough that we're friends."

"Hmm." Matt's frown was faked. His eyes made it clear that he was teasing her.

"And, in the interest of full disclosure, Alice surprised me with him as my date for the prom. It was fun and completely platonic on both sides, I swear."

"You never had feelings for him?"

Bella pressed her lips together. "Let's just say that there was a big personality conflict. He's not my type."

Matt grinned at her. "You go for blonds."

Bella rolled her eyes. "I go for _kind_."

Matt settled back in the passenger seat. "Speaking of blondes, tell me more about Rosalie."

Bella kept her left hand on the wheel and used her right to punch Matt's arm.

(~*~)

She went back to Matt's after study group. Ramesh was staying on campus. Bella didn't know whom he'd be spending the night with, and she got the impression that she wasn't supposed to. For all Ramesh's openness, he knew how to be discreet. Bella wondered if she might have been uncomfortable once, knowing a friend was out having a one-night stand. She trusted Ramesh to take care of himself, though, and his decisions about sex where just that – his. Bella was ready to make one of her own.

The kissing started off slow, like it usually did. Sometimes a kiss was just a demonstration of affection, and sometimes it was a way to test the waters, to see if they were both in the mood for a little fooling around. Tonight, Matt was in the mood. Their kisses became more lingering and when Matt's hand reached up to touch her neck, Bella pushed him onto his back.

Her forcefulness made Matt give a startled laugh of surprise, which Bella cut off. Matt didn't complain, and he kissed her back with equal enthusiasm, arms holding her to him. Bella's fingers stroked down his arm, and looped back upward, caressing up his chest from under his shirt. Matt moved to help her when she gave the fabric a tug. His shirt off, Matt pulled Bella to him again, kissing her. Bella reached for his belt, and was able undo it with just a couple hard tugs. Curling her fingers inside the waistline of his jeans, she gave them a rough tug.

"Whoa, whoa, Bella." Matt pulled back, a hand on her upper arm. "What exactly is going on here?"

"What do you think is going on?" Bella answered, her voice low and her hand resuming its course.

"I think you're moving things along a little fast."

Bella stopped. "Too fast? But, Matt, I want to."

"Well, okay, I want to, too, but I'm not sure we're ready for this."

"By 'we' you mean 'me.'" Bella swung her legs away from Matt and shifted to the other end of the couch.

"No, Bella, show me some respect by not putting words in my mouth. I mean that I feel it's still a little early for this."

"Why do you think it's early? After all, we've already…"

"Yes, but Bella, as awesome as things are between us, it's only been a few weeks. I don't want to rush into sex and have you resent me a month from now."

Bella reached back across the couch to touch Matt, her fingers light on his knee. "I won't resent you. I want to do this with you."

Matt took hold of her hand. "Not yet. Not tonight, okay?"

Bella pulled her hand back, retreating to her side of the couch. "Fine," she said, but she didn't feel fine. Suddenly she was aware of how grubby she was. She hadn't showered that morning, and her hair wasn't done up. She almost never wore makeup. Her clothes were simple, not stylish, and they hung a little loosely. "I guess guys don't want me unless they have to force it on me," she muttered, not quite realizing what she was saying, certainly not thinking it was loud enough to be heard.

"What?" Matt exclaimed. "What the hell kind of thing is that to say?"

Bella covered her face with her hands. After a quick breath, she dropped them. "An ugly thing, I'm sorry. I don't know why I said it."

Matt was staring at her, his brow furrowed. Then he licked his lips. "Listen, Bella, don't let what happened with Liam-"

"It wasn't just Liam," Bella interrupted.

"What?"

Bella took another deep breath. "I am sorry. What I said was stupid and not sincerely meant. But, I suppose you should know everything." _Well, not _everything, she thought. Bella licked her lips and began again. "Your party… that wasn't the first time someone targeted me. The first time, I was seventeen and I'd gotten lost. Port Angeles is a small city and I had just come from living in Phoenix." _Stop babbling, Bella_. "I wasn't being careful and went off by myself. Two guys cornered me. It would have been worse, much worse, if Alice and Jasper hadn't happened to find me."

Matt was staring at her. She'd really struck him dumb.

"So I walked away with nothing more than a bruise – and a few months of nightmares."

Matt stood up and started pacing, fists clenched. Finally, he kicked his schoolbag, scattering books and pencils. He turned to Bella and unclenched his fists. Crouching in front of her, he took her hands in his, his voice gentling as he talked. "I can't tell you how angry it makes me that something like that happened to you, that there's nothing I can do to change that."

Bella clutched his and stared into his blue eyes. "You don't need to change anything. Don't you see, Matt? Everything I have with you is good. You are kind, thoughtful, smart, respectful. There's nothing about you I don't like. That's why I know I won't resent you. That's why I want this with you. It want it to be my choice, and I don't think it's too early. The earlier the better, even. Something good with you will wash away those bad almost-happeneds."

Matt had been listening intently. Bella saw how her words had made him feel. He was smiling a small smile, his thumb stroking where their hands touched – until she said the last. He lost his smile and stood up, turning his face away from her.

"Bell, I don't know how to react to this." He shook his head as he spoke, turning to look at her again. "You're asking me to sleep with you because you were nearly raped?"

"It sounds pretty twisted when you put it like that," Bella snapped. Bella began gathering her things, looking at her hands and the floor as she moved. "I guess can't expect you to understand. It was unfair of me to say anything; I shouldn't have asked."

"Bella, no, wait, don't go. We should talk this through."

Bella finally looked at Matt, hurt, angry and vulnerable. "I need to go; I can't stay here like this right now."

Matt was clearly distressed, but he nodded. Bella left the apartment without another word. She berated herself as she drove. Why had she said such stupid things? That didn't have to turn out the way it had, but she opened her mouth and came up with something as ridiculous and awful as not being desirable unless it was by a rapist? Bella shook her head. She'd insulted just about every person on the planet by saying something like that.

Of course Matt desired her. More than that, he cared about her – just as she cared about him. And what had she done? Thrown him for a loop, one after another and then stalked off when he couldn't keep up. The look on his face when she'd told him she couldn't stay there any longer. She'd hurt him, and Bella hated herself for it.

However, she was hurting, too. She'd opened herself up, and Matt hadn't completely been there for her. It wasn't his fault. She'd pushed him into uncomfortable territory, expected a little too much from him. Bella drove on; home was where she needed to be right now. She needed a little time, and the next time she saw Matt, she'd make it up to him.

(~*~)

It was after midnight when Bella returned from her study session. Having gone upstairs to get a book to share with Edward, Carlisle was in his office when she got home for the second time in one day. He heard her stop and say hello to everyone in the living room. There was tension in her voice; she was clearly distressed about something.

"Bella, is everything alright?" Esme asked as Carlisle began to make his way down the stairs.

"Ultimately, I think so, but I don't really want to talk about it right now."

Carlisle stopped. If Bella wished to be left alone, then the last thing he wanted to do was crowd her.

"Would you like me to get you something to eat?"

Carlisle didn't hear Bella voice an answer, so he assumed that she shook her head. Her next words were obviously directed at Edward and Rosalie. "I know I said I'd spend time with you when I got back, but I think I need to just head straight to bed. Do you mind if we catch up in the morning?"

"If you need to sleep, then you need to sleep," Rosalie answered.

Edward said, "Go to bed, Bella."

Carlisle timed coming down the stairs so that he would not cross paths with Bella as she did her nighttime routine. He rejoined the family in the living room, handing Edward the book he'd fetched. Instead of discussing it, though, they were all engaged in a low-voice vampire quick-speak conversation.

"Alice, do you know what happened?"

"Did she fight with The Pig?"

"I wouldn't call it a fight, more of an emotional misunderstanding," Alice answered, and to which Edward rolled his eyes. "And I'd tell you to stop calling him that, but I know you won't. You're so infantile sometimes, Edward."

"What was the fight about?" Rosalie asked, ignoring everything else.

"I say it's up to Bella to tell us that if she wishes to," Carlisle interrupted. "Clearly, right now she wants to let it be. Since she does not appear to be harmed, I suggest we all do the same."

"Yes, Dad." Edward was mid-smirk when he turned his head toward Alice, then rolled his eyes. "Oh, good God."

Alice's eyes were slightly unfocused, only enough for another vampire to notice the change. With a blink of her eyes, her expression returned to normal. She had been smiling throughout.

"We've got to pretend to be asleep tonight," Alice said. "Matt is going to be making a romantic gesture."

"I'm not sticking around for this." Edward was already on his feet and turned toward Esme. "Hunt with me?"

Maggie also stood up, stretching like a cat. "I'm joining. It's been awhile since you and I have had a race, young one." She was out the door before he could respond, and Edward gave chase.

"Wait, what-" Esme looked after the two disappearing vampires, and then at Alice. "I want to know what this romantic gesture is going to be."

(~*~)

Something was in her face. Eyes shut, Bella winced, jerking her head to the side. When the brightness through her eyelids wouldn't go away, her hand came up, palm out. Shielding her eyes, she slowly blinked them open. The bright light was coming from her window, and there was a large, dark shape behind it. Bella tensed for a moment, before the flashlight cut off. The dark shape was the figure of a person, a male.

_I hope that's not Edward, _was Bella's next thought. At the slight tap on the glass, Bella realized to her relief that it wasn't Edward at all, but Matt. Her boyfriend was precariously perched on a limb of the elm tree outside her bedroom window. One hand held the flashlight that had woken her up, the other kept grip on the tree. A red rose was clenched in his mouth.

Bella slipped out of bed, and opened the window. "You really are a theatre major, aren't you?" She'd intended for it to come out teasing, but the gravel in her voice could have been taken for grumpiness instead. She reached out and helped him enter through the tight space, holding first his forearm, then tugging on his tan jacket.

When he finally landed on his feet, Matt took the rose out of his mouth and held it out to Bella. "For you."

Bella took it with a smile. "Thank you," she said quietly, though not quietly enough for the others in the house to not hear. She couldn't be certain if she could even get away with whispering in Matt's ear and not be overheard.

"I'm here to say I'm sorry," Matt explained before she could ask. "I wasn't listening very well when we were talking this afternoon. You were trying to explain something to me, and I didn't show enough respect about where you were coming from."

"Matt, no, I'm sorry," Bella interrupted, talking normally.

"Shh." Matt held a finger up to his lips. "I don't want to wake the rest of the house."

"Oh." Bella blinked, then whispered, "Is everyone asleep?"

"All the lights were out."

Bella took a second to think about this, and then nodded. Not only would they have heard Matt approaching, but also Alice probably saw him coming. She thought about turning her own light on, but then figured Matt might worry it would draw attention. Her eyes had already adjusted. "Listen, Matt, I _am_ sorry. I threw a lot at you today, and reacted emotionally when you didn't get it right away. It was unfair of me."

Matt lightly laid his hand on Bella's cheek. "You were telling me how you felt; it only makes sense that you were emotional. And I get it, I do. It took me awhile - too long - but I see now what you meant. And I am really _really_ happy that you feel that way about me."

Bella set the rose down on her dresser and kissed him. It was what she wanted to do, and it stopped him from saying anything more. The details of their argument really shouldn't be shared with the rest of the house, at least not this way. Perhaps they'd been kind enough to actually leave the house. Or maybe they were just standing still, in the dark, listening to every word. Matt wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back, eagerly. After a moment he broke away, kissing her temple and whispering, "I hate that we argued."

"So do I. Let's talk about something else."

"Okay, what?"

Instead of an answer, Bella let out a yawn. She grabbed Matt's hand and pulled him toward the bed. Slipping back under the covers, Bella patted the space on the comforter beside her. Matt took the hint, and as she lay back, he stretched out on his side next to her, putting an arm over her blanket-clad form.

"Just talk to me about something we haven't talked about before," Bella said, snuggling in.

"Uh… let me think." Matt launched into a tale about the first time he met Ramesh, which led to other stories. Bella chuckled and smiled, even as her eyelids grew heavy as she listened to tales about Matt's roommate - who wasn't even back at the apartment, but on campus.

"Funny to think that the apartment is empty right now."

"I'll probably run into him sneaking back when I get there." He looked down at Bella. Their faces were close. "I don't want to go," Matt murmured. He leaned his head in to kiss her.

Their lips touched softly, a brush and a caress. Bella was warm and cozy from being under the blankets, and the proximity to Matt. The kiss made her feel even sleepier.

"One thing we've left unresolved," Matt spoke against her cheek, "if you know you're ready, then I am willing to move forward – when the moment is right."

"It will be. I'll be spending the night with you soon," Bella answered, her voice full of promise.

Their lips had just barely brushed when Matt jerked his head at the cracking noise that came from upstairs. "Did you hear that?"

"No," Bella fibbed, and nuzzled Matt into facing her again. "Weren't you about to do something?"

(~*~)

Carlisle looked at his broken desk in disbelief. He'd cracked the edge of it, splintering the wood. The pale reddish tan of the mahogany's natural wood color peaked out in jagged points underneath the dark red finish. Carefully setting the laptop he'd had to catch on the floor, Carlisle examined the damage his hands had made, and wondered if it could possibly be repaired. The desk had been with him for thirteen decades.

How had he lost control like that? One second he was clicking to scroll through the article before him, the next both hands were pushing through the desk where they'd been resting. The mouse hadn't survived the crush of his hand; it was now a pile of broken rollers, plastic and LEDs.

He had been deliberately not listening to Bella and Matt downstairs. Though curious as to what their argument had been about, and hopeful that Matt would repair any damage he'd made, Carlisle wanted to respect their privacy. So Carlisle hadn't listened when Matt apologized, or when Bella apologized, or when Matt expressed gratitude for Bella's affection. (Had it "really" been necessary for Matt to repeat that word?) No, Carlisle didn't listen, but that did not mean he wasn't capable of hearing – and he had definitely heard Bella promise to give herself to him.

Then the desk splintered.

"You'd better go," Bella was whispering.

"Not yet."

Carlisle's fingers curled against the wood flooring, and he waited, listening. Matt didn't leave, not even when Bella fell asleep.

Two minutes.

Three minutes.

The bed creaked, but no sound of footfall followed.

Four minutes. Matt was still awake; what was he doing? Watching her? Was he touching Bella while she lay there unknowing? The boy had sneaked into his home and entered Bella's bedroom, a plan that caused most of his family to leave the house. Carlisle only had so much time to spend with Edward and Rosalie this visit, and he had to give some of that up because of this boy and his impulsive overture. Now Matt was lingering in Bella's room while she slept, after she'd told him to leave. The idea of it shattered Carlisle's patience. It was time to kick Bella's human boyfriend out of his house.

He rose from his crouched position on the floor and in seconds he was down the stairs and at Bella's door. Once outside it, he took the time to slow down. He flicked on the hallway light and gave a very soft knock before opening the bedroom door. The light from the hall first lit up Bella's dresser, where a red rose now rested, and then Bella in her bed. Matt was lying on top of the covers beside Bella, fully clothed. He had indeed been watching her, but he turned toward Carlisle, startled.

"While I'm all in favor of romance, Matt, I think it is time you went home."

"Yeah, you're right." Matt had the grace to look a little sheepish. He removed his arm from around Bella and carefully got off the bed so as not to wake her. "I'm sorry if I woke you, Carlisle."

_Dr. Cullen_, Carlisle almost corrected the boy, but restrained the ridiculous impulse. "I was awake."

"You heard me come in?"

Carlisle nodded. Matt stood beside Bella's bed, and there was a moment of awkward silence. Carlisle felt his sympathy go out toward him a little bit. Matt was a good soul, and his relationship with Bella was a mature one that didn't deserve the father-with-a-shotgun routine. Besides, Carlisle was definitely _not_ Bella's father.

Matt gave a small cough to clear his throat and walked toward the window. Carlisle stopped him. "You can use the front door this time."

"Right, thanks." When Matt approached the doorway, Carlisle stepped aside to let him pass through. Once in the hall, Matt paused. "Thanks for being cool about this."

"I'm a cool kind of guy." Carlisle crossed his arms over his chest, and leaned against the jamb.

Matt continued to look at Carlisle. "Bella's happy with me."

Carlisle raised an eyebrow at him. "I know she is."

If Matt was expecting some sort of staring contest, he would be in for a crushing loss. Matt didn't press one; he turned and went down the stairs. Carlisle stayed in Bella's doorframe, arms still crossed, guarding it as though Matt might turn around and try to force his was back in. He listened to the sound of the front door, Matt's car door, and the sound of the engine moving down the driveway. Only then did he relax his pose.

Bella let out a whimper. Carlisle turned toward her, and she was whimpering again, her arm reaching out in a thrashing motion. Still standing in her doorway, he hesitated, but when she let out a cry Carlisle went to her.

"Bella, hush," he whispered soothingly. Sitting carefully on the edge of the bed, he took hold of her hand. Bella continued to fret, and Carlisle ran a hand down her arm. Her body settled, and her eyes blinked half-open.

"I was… Meatloaf?"

"Bella, you were having a nightmare."

Bella sucked in her breath and faced him with unseeing, panicked eyes. "The dark one in the alley." She sat straight up.

"Bella, you're home. You're safe here with me." Carlisle moved in and held her close. It both saddened and upset him that even after all the time that had passed, that man still had the power to disturb Bella's subconscious. Alonzo Calderas Wallace was in jail on the other side of the country, and Bella was once again having a nightmare about him. Carlisle knew Bella was a strong young woman, but he wished the horror of that night didn't still have a hold on her, that it could be washed away. Right now, Bella was fragile and precious in his arms, her breathing ragged, but as he held her the rapid rise and fall of her chest began to slow. Carlisle released his embrace and gently eased her back onto the bed. Once her head was nestled on the pillow, he withdrew to leave.

"Don't go," Bella murmured. Her hand was still on his forearm, and she was pulling him closer. "Stay, Carlisle."

Carlisle hesitated, aware that Bella wasn't entirely awake, but he decided there wasn't any harm in remaining until she no longer needed him. Moving over her with a feather-light leap, he settled himself on the covers next to Bella, back to the headboard.

She rolled over and curled into him, giving a sleepy moan of satisfaction. "Mmm."

Carlisle sat with Bella's head on his stomach, her arm around his waist, as her breathing continued to slow and she was fast asleep. Several minutes passed before Carlisle tried to delicately extricate himself. Bella tightened her hold and made a soft protesting noise. Each time he made an attempt to leave she clung to him. In the end, Carlisle stopped trying.

(~*~)

Asleep, Bella was restless, unable to settle. A weight on her shoulders, an itch in her skin. Her subconscious was twitching, seeking relief when a soothing cool came and surrounded her. Bella no longer felt weighed down, but instead secured. Safe. Happy. Home.

Waking was gentle, a soft awareness of the room and the light coming in through the window. Lying on her right side, Bella took a deep breath, and rolled over to stretch as she breathed out. That's when she realized that Carlisle was on the bed with her, inches away. Dressed casually in the same chinos and sweater she'd seen on him the day before, he sat against the headboard, legs stretched out in front of him. "Carlisle?" Her brow furrowed in confusion, since she was pretty certain Matt had been on the bed when she fell asleep, not Carlisle.

"Good morning, Bella."

"Is everything okay?" she muttered, rubbing her eyes.

"You had a nightmare. I came to comfort you, and then you wouldn't let me leave."

A vague recollection began to surface of sitting straight up, Carlisle holding her right hand. Amusement came when Bella pictured what he'd described. Dropping her hands from her eyes, she gave Carlisle a lopsided smile. "I wouldn't, huh? And you couldn't break free from my supernatural hold?"

Carlisle started moving backward off the bed, away from her and not making eye contact. "I did not wish to upset you."

If Bella didn't know better, she'd think that she'd embarrassed him. Bella sat up just enough to reach out and grab hold of his arm. Carlisle stilled, just barely on the bed. "Hey," she said softly. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Carlisle made to stand up, but Bella tightened her grip, grinning at the irony of doing exactly what Carlisle had told her she'd done last night. Apparently with her it was _veritas in somnus _instead of_ veritas in vino._

"It's nice to see you here, Carlisle. I've missed you."

Carlisle turned to face her, his gaze softening. "I have missed you, too, Bella."

"Why do we never see each other anymore? You don't work that much."

"I do," Carlisle disagreed, "and so do you. More often than not when I come home and you're here, we don't see one another because it's the middle of the night and you're sound asleep."

"Then come wake me."

Carlisle dropped his gaze. "You need your rest, Bella."

"True, but I think a little interrupted rest in order to spend time with you would be worth it. When was the last time you and I really had a conversation?"

Carlisle's answer was immediate. "Just before you started dating Matthew."

"Oh," Bella frowned down at the stitching in her comforter. "That makes sense. I'd be home more often if I wasn't out with Matt."

"But you are with Matt."

Bella looked up at Carlisle from under her eyelids, giving a bit of an embarrassed smile. "I guess you overheard what Matt and I were talking about."

Carlisle nodded slowly. "Yes, I did." He remained perched on the edge of her bed, her hand above his wrist keeping him there. It was awkward, and Bella wished he looked more comfortable because she really wanted to talk with him. She probably would have talked to him last night when she got home, if she'd seen him. Bella let go of his arm and joined her hands together. She stared at her fingers.

"Last night I tried to move things forward with Matt and he turned me down."

"He turned you down?" Carlisle faced her more fully, twisting at the waist.

Bella nodded. "Yeah." She sat up, straightening her back against the headboard. Looking at Carlisle she patted the spot next to her, where he had been just a few minutes earlier. Carlisle returned to where she gestured. "He said he was worried I'd ended up resenting him if we had sex too early."

"That's a reasonable argument, but obviously not what you would have wanted to hear. How did that make you feel?"

Bella gave a soft laugh. "Not very good, actually. I ended up telling Matt about being attacked in Port Angeles."

"Ah," Carlisle said softly. He was looking at her with such understanding that Bella knew she didn't have to explain why one thought led to the other. This was Carlisle, after all; he always seemed to understand her. It was nice, sitting side by side with him.

"I really didn't handle it well. First I took him by surprise by trying to push things, then I said something ugly, and then I upset him by telling him about, well, you know."

"First, Matt shouldn't be surprised that you are a healthy woman acting on sexual urges. Second, everyone has said something ugly when emotions are running high that wasn't sincere. And third, Bella, you didn't upset him; what happened to you upset him. None of that is anything you should blame yourself for."

"I know, and I don't – exactly. But I did fire a lot at him in a very short time, and got upset when he didn't just immediately take it all with grace. I told him that I wanted sex sooner because I wanted it to be my choice."

Carlisle took her hand in his. "Is it any less your choice if you wait? Do you think you're going to lose the ability to choose between now and when you're both ready?"

Bella leaned her head onto Carlisle's shoulder. "I can't know what may or may not happen. I just know that I'm ready to make that decision for myself."

"And Matt's the guy?"

"Matt's the guy."

"Do you love him?"

Bella hesitated. Being with Matt was… fun. He made her feel good, and they could make each other laugh. Just thinking of him caused this funny feeling in her chest, and it made her want to see him again. Matt was a smart, caring guy and being around him made her feel good about herself. Bella couldn't really imagine her life now without Matt in it. "Yeah, I think I do."

"You think you do." Carlisle took a deep breath. "You and I talked once about my sexual history, and I told you that in retrospect I had some regret for engaging in an act that had nothing more than mutual respect and friendship attached to it. If what you have with Matt is more than that, then I envy you what you're about to experience."

Bella smiled and cuddled her head against him. "Thank you, Carlisle, for understanding."

Carlisle lifted his hand and stroked her hair. "Anytime you need me, Bella."

(~*~)

"Check! Him! Out!" The audience shouted while Alice, as Columbia, eye-fucked Frank/Ramesh showcasing his fishnet-clad legs. It wasn't quite the New York experience, but Middlebury managed to pull off a rowdy and messy _Rocky Horror Picture Show _production – with a little help from Alice and her generous supplies. Toilet paper, water pistols, newspaper, playing cards – even toast were all made available at the entrance to Hepburn, where the production was taking place.

Carlisle, Maggie and Esme were squeezed in among the throng. Jasper, who had attended rehearsals, stayed back at the house to avoid the emotions of the crowd. _Rocky _was good for getting an open-minded crowd going, but when you didn't have any choice in feeling the elevated emotions of a large, raunchy crowd, staying away was probably best.

Carlisle was having a good time. It had been very amusing to see Bella fret for the last three days running about getting the steps to the Time Warp exactly right. He'd been properly proud of her when she pulled it off along with all the other Trannies, and he hadn't failed to notice that for the last move, she'd thrown herself to the floor with relief and gusto.

The crowd exploded once the show was over. Everyone spilled out into the aisles, onto the stage. Friends greeted each other; more toilet paper flew into the air. Alice, still clad in her corset and boa costume, joined them in the audience fairly quickly. Matt and Bella took longer, likely because Matt changed out of costume first, though the white makeup was still on his face.

Bella, who was also back in normal clothes, immediately gave Carlisle a hug. "I was nervous, knowing that you were out here."

"Why?" Carlisle raised his eyebrows.

Bella only shrugged in answer while Matt wrapped an arm around her, reclaiming her. Both of them were in high spirits, talking and laughing with all those offering congratulations, and always managing to come back to each other - a hand on the back, a touch of the fingertips. It came as no surprise to Carlisle when he learned that they were not going to the cast party. Tonight was going to be their night.

Carlisle was completely supportive of Bella making this choice. In the week since their conversation he had never doubted that it was the right thing for her. All the same, underneath it all, he felt a touch of grief inside. He blamed Edward. Bella's next step in her relationship with Matt wouldn't have made him feel this terrible if it had not been for the conversation Edward had with him. Carlisle was thinking about his single state more often these days, and Edward had to remind him that he was still without romantic love in his life. No mate.

Carlisle watched Bella leave with Matt, his arm around her, her head tilted to rest against his shoulder. His thumb was moving in slow strokes up and down her arm. The whole time they remained in sight, Carlisle never saw them break contact.

Alice was heading back to the house with Maggie and Esme. Carlisle's plans were to hunt. He wanted to leave from right there, but the risk of being seen was too great. So he drove the Mercedes back and left from the driveway, not entering the house, not changing clothes, he just ran into the woods.

He ran going further and further east, up into the mountains…

Bella was in Matt's lap. She was facing him, straddling him as they perched on the end of the bed. His arms were around her; her hands were in his hair and they were kissing, lips sucking unrepentantly. Below the waist, she began to grind against him.

…He caught the scent. There were several scents, everywhere, surrounding him, all different and all delicious. This one was the one he wanted…

She groaned twice, two little rhythmic noises. He was bending her backwards, his arms supporting her in the air, as he kissed his way down her throat, across her chest and down to her stomach.

…He followed, chasing as the tiny rapid heartbeat increased…

_Sweet sweet, oh Jesus, oh sweet Jesus._ Her body was alive, nerves sensitive to the masculine touch on her skin. She felt herself tumble with him, clothes yanked and jerked off, and she was bare, completely exposed.

…He teased her, like a cat playing with its food. The lynx moved frantically, heart beating rapidly. She was his. In one swift move he grabbed her and thrust his teeth into her neck…

Bowing backwards she gave him complete access, letting him do as he pleased because it pleased her. She cried out, not knowing how else to handle the intense pulsing inside her.

…The throbbing into his mouth was life itself. He sucked greedily, taking it all…

The little death. That's what they called it. She gasped, sucking for breath.

…It was only a moment before he was sucking again, tasting again. More blood, more heartbeat against his mouth. Tonight, it was insatiable for it…

"Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh-oh." There wasn't enough time for recovery before he was moving again and the sensation was beautiful.

(~*~)

The night was still. His presence had caused the creatures to quiet and there was silence. The trees rose up around him, encasing him as he sat on the ground. A drop of blood fell from his mouth and onto the back of his left hand, making a tiny trail around the knuckle of the second finger in. Carlisle tilted his head back and looked up at the sky.

The silence of the apartment settled around her as Matt slept beside her on his stomach, one arm wrapped around her. She should be tired, but she wasn't. Her body was, but her mind was alive. Gently, Bella slipped out from under Matt's arm and went to the window. Her head fell in a slow tilt to the side as she looked up.

The night was bright, but not overly so. Carlisle and Bella could not see the moon behind the white clouds. That didn't mean that it wasn't there, ready and waiting for its time to emerge.

* * *

**A/N: Acknowledgements: To AllTheOtherNamesAreUsed goes credit for "The Pig," completely her idea. SleepyValentina's genuine feedback on Chapter 23 formed a line of Edward's dialogue. Gisellelx planted the idea in my head that canon Edward and Carlisle saw Rocky together. BookWormBaby2580 helped me through a question I had to blushingly ask. Malianani saw the fear pushing Carlisle to be blind.**

**Next Chapter… We jump ahead to September 2008. It's time for Bella to lose some of her blinders about Carlisle, don't you think? **


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: ****For those who'd like a chapter-by-chapter recap of "Moonlit," there are two on my blog. **

**Chapters 1-18 stormdragonfly . blogspot . com / 2011 / 05 / I-typed-this-up-for-reader-who . html **

**Chapters 19-25 stormdragonfly . blogspot . com / 2012 / 04 / so-since-it-will-have-been-long-time_24 . html**

**Thank you, everyone, for reading! :-)**

* * *

"I like to think that the moon is there even if I am not looking at it." ~Albert Einstein

~*~ Chapter Twenty-Six ~*~

September 2008

In the last two years Bella's bedroom had seen a few changes. Her dresser no longer rested against the wall to the left of the window, but was now pushed up against the corner on the other side. A tall cherrywood bookcase now took up the space next to the window, the top and bottom shelves neatly held her favorites in alphabetical order by author; the middle shelves were semi-haphazardly adorned with stacks of texts and folders. Above Bella's desk was a large corkboard, pinned with various notes, cheat sheets and visual inspiration. All marks of a young woman deep into academic studies.

Life was good. In fact, it was just about perfect — friends, boyfriend, family, college. Lying on her bed, Bella felt a deep-seated happiness, and it was just blossoming out of her. Perhaps turning 21 made her a little introspective this morning, but why not? Life had come a long way since she'd had to look after her unorganized mother or cook for her father. Instead, she was surrounded by people who would feed her. Ramesh and Matt did communal meals, even if they ordered in. The college always had food, and every now and then the Cullens liked to try to cook for her.

Bella's affection for the Cullens remained strong. She felt more like part of a united family with them than she did with her own parents: Renee and Phil in one corner of the country, Charlie and Sue in another and herself in yet a third. Bella called regularly and tried to see each parent set as often as she could. Even so, she saw the nomadic Rosalie and Edward more frequently than she saw Charlie or Renee.

Bella still occasionally bumped heads with Edward and had a curious at-arms-length connection with Rosalie. Kinship was easier with Alice and Jasper, who in the roles of peers, were somewhat integrated with her friends from the college. Alice enjoyed playing the social college girl. She'd had Anna over for a girls' night more than once. Jasper, Barry and Matt were not welcome. Ramesh, however, was fun-spirited enough to include.

Then there was Carlisle. He and Bella had created a tradition of late night talks when he got in late from work and she was home. Those were Bella's true heart-to-heart nights. Even though she didn't discuss men or sex – well, not _really_, not gratuitously – with Carlisle, it was her conversations with him that really meant the most to her. With Carlisle she could not only talk about the everyday things, but also her studies, her thoughts, her every feeling. There was never a question she could not posit, a truth she couldn't share. If she argued with Matt, Carlisle would not only give her understanding and support, but also help her to see both sides and Bella would recognize when she'd been unfair.

Bella couldn't quite do the same with others in her life. While constantly protecting the secret nature of the Cullens, she couldn't get to a point of true honesty with any one of her college friends. With the other Cullens, their extra abilities could weigh unsaid in the room. Bella would rather make her decisions without Alice's third eye, Jasper's empathy or Maggie's clarity. And although Bella could talk freely with Esme, it was Carlisle she felt most at ease with. She was her best self with Carlisle and she knew she could always count on him.

Bella tightened her fingers around his. Life was good.

"_Nobis cum semel occidit brevis lux, nox est perpetuat un dormienda," _Bella recited, lying down on her bed, eyes closed.

Propped up against the headboard beside her, Carlisle's right hand was in her left, and he picked up the next line. "_Da mi basia mil, diende centum, dien mille altera, dien secunda centum, diende usque altera mille, diende centum._"

"_Dien,_" Bella continued_, _"_cum milia multa fecerimus, conturbabimus illa, ne sciamus, aut ne quis malus inuidere possit, cum tantum sciat esse basorium._" Bella sighed happily and opened her eyes. "That one is still my favorite."

"Your accent is excellent. Ready to try something more advanced?"

Bella nodded and closed her eyes again. "Okay, one more."

"_De Bello Alexandrino."_

Bella scrunched up her face in disappointment, causing Carlisle to laugh, but then she obliged. After reciting the first two stanzas of Caesar's _On the Alexandrine War_, she tossed her pillow up in the air and cried, "Enough! I'm done."

It was 10 a.m., not quite the usual middle-of-the-night visit this time. At midnight Alice, Jasper, Maggie and Esme had proceeded to get Bella tipsy on red wine. She hadn't made it to bed until 2:30 in the morning, and Carlisle hadn't come home until 6 a.m. Despite being tired, it was still as she'd told Carlisle her freshman year: she'd rather he came to wake her than not see him at all. However, she'd been so drowsy she'd only sipped the glass of water he'd brought before falling asleep again. When she realized she was drifting, Bella had clutched at his arm tiredly and asked him not to go.

Obviously, he had left, but Bella was not complaining. Knowing Bella well enough to understand that a gesture was better received than an actual gift, Carlisle had brought her breakfast in bed — and that was most certainly not an unpleasant thing to wake up to. The tray rested on her desk; the fruit pancakes eaten. God, she loved how fluffy he could make her pancakes. The single lavender aster in its small vase stood erect over the empty dishes.

"I want to say again, Bella, how impressed I am that you chose Latin for your language focus."

Bella grinned at Carlisle, rolling over to prop herself up on her left side. "Why?" she teased.

"'Why?'"

"Why do you feel the need to say it again? Shouldn't your perfect recall satisfy you to my reaction?"

Carlisle reached out and twirled a bit of her hair, joining in on the game. She'd cut it recently so that it fell to just above her shoulders. The reduced weight made the ends curl slightly, and Carlisle was wrapping one around his finger. "Well, I could say it's because your reaction can change, as you are currently proving."

"And what did I say last time?"

"'Thank you, Carlisle,'" Carlisle gave a perfect mimicry of her tone. "'Latin's the root of many languages – not to mention cultures – and I figure if I know Latin then I'm a leg up on the rest of the Romance languages.'"

"I refuse to believe that I talked like that." Bella swung her head to remove her hair from Carlisle's grasp.

"You most certainly did."

"Hmm." Bella made a stern face, but turned and settled against him, her head against his right arm. "You still haven't answered my question."

Carlisle used his free hand to stroke her arm with his knuckles. "I never supposed I would one day find myself on a bed with a co-ed practicing Latin by reciting Catullus."

Bella laughed and shifted into a more comfortable spot against his hard body. "You could, if you went back to school again, instead of forcing just Alice and Jasper to every eight years."

"You underestimate the fulfillment I get out of being a practicing physician, and I _do_ go back to medical school every twenty years or so." Carlisle gave her arm a gentle squeeze. "All the same, you are the only co-ed I'd dream of doing such a thing with. I still have days when I wonder at you."

"_Wonder_ at me?" Bella leaned away to look up at him, giving a confused laugh.

"Yes." Carlisle tilted his head down so his forehead was touching hers. "Marvel at your presence in my life, in my home."

The sincerity —sweet and affectionate— had Bella going still. "Carlisle," Bella whispered, "you're making me blush."

Carlisle shifted away. "I only mean to show you appreciation on your birthday. While you seem to forget you're the only human this family has ever befriended, it does not mean that I do."

Bella sat up as Carlisle moved off of the bed. "You're an elephant: you never forget anything."

Carlisle turned to arch an eyebrow at her. "Is this your newest way of calling me a fossil?"

Bella tossed a pillow at him and got up herself. "Last I knew, elephants were still around. Besides, accept it, old man, you're…"

Bella had been about to tease him about his age, but looking at him standing next to her bed, suddenly she couldn't. Carlisle never looked old, and at that moment neither did he look like a seasoned doctor in his early thirties. His clothes were rumpled and casual, the kind of style many of the Midd students wore. In fact, Bella was quite certain Matt had the same shirt in a slightly darker blue. She suddenly had a ridiculous image in her head of Carlisle walking the campus beside her, a messenger bag across his chest and a bluetooth hooked over his ear. Yet, he could pull it off. Carlisle looked her age.

"Yes?" Carlisle asked when Bella didn't say anything.

"You're not old." Bella rallied, crossing her arms over her chest. "Age is a state of mind, and as long as you don't think you're a fossil, you won't be."

"Very philosophical of you."

"And there comes the condescension. _That's_ what ages you."

"I wasn't being condescending," Carlisle protested, his tone lightening. "I was just teasing you."

"Yes, but teasing me in a patronizing, older-than-thou manner." Bella turned her back on him and started sifting through her dresser drawers, looking for something to change into. She'd been lying on top of her hastily made bed in her pajamas.

Behind her, Carlisle gathered her breakfast tray, transferring the flower onto her desk. "Let's return to being more philosophical then, since you seem to want to discuss our differences. As you are one year older today, soon you'll be closing the physical age gap. The expression, however, is 'young at heart,' and there I'd say we're fairly close to being equal."

Bella laughed, pulling out a shirt, and moving down to her pants drawer. "I could never be your equal, Carlisle."

Carlisle frowned at her bent figure. "Why do you say that?"

Bella stood up again, clothes in hand, and turned to face him. "Why? I'm just me, human Bella. You're unique among your own kind, special, a notch above the rest."

"Bella, I'm not a notch above anyone. _I'm _just me, and I am far from perfect."

Bella started to laugh again, but stopped when she saw the distress on Carlisle's face. "Oh, I've embarrassed you." She dropped her clothes on the bed and moved around it to place her hand on his forearm. "I'm just returning the appreciation, Carlisle. There truly isn't another such as you."

As Carlisle's hands were still holding the tray, he couldn't return the gesture and touch her back, though his eyes did it for him. "I do not wish for you to think of me as something more than I am."

"You're not giving yourself enough credit. I think of you as _you_, and who you are is pretty damn special." Bella lifted onto her toes and kissed his cheek. When she settled back onto her heels, she was happy to see Carlisle's face look less strained. "You could come tonight, Carlisle, join us at Two Brothers and leave when it's time to start your shift."

Carlisle smiled. "I wouldn't want to cramp your style. I may look 23, but your friends think I'm 31. Too old to party and definitely an awkward addition."

"I suppose you're right. I didn't really think that one through." Bella looked away, frowning at her lack of reason. Or maybe it was at the disappointment she felt.

"Thank you for wanting me to be there, though. Who's the designated driver?"

"Matt, though we'll be taking my car, in case the five of us decide to go somewhere after the Tavern."

"Just be careful tonight, Bella."

Bella smiled at him. "I will be. Now, much as I love you, I need to get dressed. So out you go."

Carlisle obeyed, but sent a teasing smile at her when he hesitated by the door. "There's no need for you to feel shy. I am a doctor, you know."

Bella laughed. "And I thank you very much for my breakfast in bed, but as I am not in need for any kind of exam, I think I'd prefer you out, _Dr._ Cullen. Shoo!"

Bella glanced at the door after Carlisle exited, and there was a smile on her face.

(~*~)

Matt answered the door when Bella arrived at the apartment late that afternoon. "Hey," he greeted, kissing her as she stepped in. Bella dropped her purse onto the armchair and saw that he'd been doing some studying. Books were out on the coffee table in front of the couch: Brecht, Artaud. Bella peered into the open textbook when a chapter heading caught her eye.

"'Theatre of Cruelty.' Well, that sounds fun."

"It's about forcing an audience to see a truth they don't want to see, making them be honest with themselves."

"Huh. Sounds like something Maggie would like. Are you using this for your Senior Project proposal?"

"No, it's for Performance Aesthetics, and I am ready to put it away." Matt shut all the books and plopped down onto the couch, pulling Bella into his lap. "Ready to celebrate?"

Bella nuzzled into him, smiling. The plan was to rendezvous with Barry and Anna, hit The Two Brothers Tavern, eat dinner, and then switch to drinking the rest of the night. "Just about. I know tonight's going to be worse than last night. Last night was only red wine."

"Oh?" Matt rubbed her back. "You look fine to me; were you hungover this morning?"

Bella shook her head. "No. I got some water not long after I fell asleep, and breakfast was just great."

"Carlisle?" Matt asked.

"Yes, actually."

"Another 2 a.m. chat?"

"No, I slept in today. Didn't even make it into bed until 2:30." Bella got up off the couch to stretch her back. "Carlisle brought me the water around six, then had the breakfast ready when I woke up."

It suddenly struck Bella how unusual it was to be talking with her boyfriend about another man bringing her breakfast in bed. After all, Matt had no idea that Carlisle was actually the patriarch of a vampire family. To him, Carlisle was a single man living in the same house as his girlfriend. How did she get so lucky that Matt was easygoing about it?

Noticing her looking at him, Matt gave her a slow smile.

"Y'know, I gather most guys might not be so copasetic about my friendship with Carlisle."

"I know what your feelings for Carlisle are."

Bella walked back to her boyfriend and bent down, putting her arms around Matt's neck. "Have I told you recently how much I appreciate how good you are to me?"

Matt's hands came up to touch her. "Maybe not for a couple days."

"You." Bella kissed him between each word. "Are. Wonderful."

"As long as I'm still the one you love most."

"Silly-" Bella began, but lost her breath when Matt pulled her back onto the couch by the hips. His mouth was on hers, and Bella tucked herself closer and responded. Their lips met with perfect suction, and securely held, Bella felt the intensity Matt put into it. Her head spun and after a moment or two she pulled away.

"Um." She licked her swollen upper lip. "I'm going to go get myself something to drink." Matt let her go.

Bella went into the kitchen and fetched a glass from the cupboard, the heavy blue-bottomed one she favored because it felt less frail in her hands. "Matt, you want anything?" she called into the living room.

"All set," he answered. "No, wait, can you grab me the scissors?"

"Sure." Bella finished filling her glass with water and moved to the drawer next to the fridge. "What do you need scissors for?"

If Matt answered, Bella missed it. She was too busy letting out a shriek of surprise at the confetti bomb that came popping out of the drawer at her. Hearing laughter, she saw that Ramesh had been surreptitiously watching her from the doorway of his room. Matt entered from the living room, a grin on his face as well.

"Happy birthday, Bella," Ramesh sang.

"I should have known." Bella rolled her eyes at him. Ramesh loved a good gag, though he would only strike at random, waiting long intervals. The more rare the occurrence, the better the surprise. Bella should have guessed that he'd try something on her birthday and get Matt to go along with it. "I hope that's the last surprise of the night."

Ramesh grinned and made a non-committal noise. Matt put an arm on her back and kissed her head. She rolled her eyes at both of them. Setting her nearly empty glass down, she grabbed a kitchen towel and tossed it into Ramesh's chest. "You can clean up the water that sloshed onto the floor."

"Wait, wait," Ramesh called before she could walk off. "I don't think you finished looking in the drawer."

Bella frowned and stepped back to the counter. Peaking into the open drawer, Bella did notice this time that there was a card with her name on it, scrawled in Ramesh's uneven hand. The card was weighty and Bella hoped it wasn't one of those musical ones. God knew what sort of song Ramesh would pick for her. Yet, when she pulled the card out of the envelope, it was the printed sentiment across the cover that surprised her. _Happy Birthday, Sis._

Bella looked up and gave Ramesh a puzzled look before opening the card. Inside the joke was simple and silly. Ramesh had written in: _Sometimes we can choose our family. Matt's my brother from another mother and as far as I'm concerned, the past two years have made you my kid sister._ The weight inside the card hadn't been mechanical, but was, in fact, a key. Bella picked it up.

"What's this?"

"It's my blessing," Ramesh answered as he stepped forward to give her a kiss on the cheek. "Now, you two kiddos talk. I'll be outside."

Slapping the kitchen towel against Matt's chest, Ramesh departed.

"Matt?" Bella looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"We want you to move in with us."

"Move in?"

"Sure. We've talked about it before."

"In passing, in projected theory."

"Now it's not so projected." Matt reached out and grasped her hand with his, stepping forward to be close to her. "Move in with me. It's the next step, Bella, and it's been too long in coming. I want to keep us moving forward."

"Matt, I don't… I don't know."

"It's not as though you're not here all the time anyway. You should've already had a key. I just am offering to make it official."

"I don't need 'official.' Things are comfortable. I'm—"

"Permanent, then," Matt interjected as Bella continued.

"—happy." Bella blinked at him. "Aren't you happy?"

"Being with you? Absolutely. That's why I want to do this."

Bella didn't know why she wasn't excited about the idea. Hesitation might have made sense, but instead she felt a touch of panic. She'd have to move out of the Cullen house, and stepping away from them felt entirely wrong. When would she get to talk with Carlisle? Esme, Maggie? "I can't just leave the Cullens."

"You're not going to stop being friends with them just because you move out. Whether it's yes—"

"They're more than friends. They're family." Bella talked over him.

"—or no, you don't need…Aren't I more than a friend?" Matt kissed her knuckles. "You don't need to answer tonight. Just think about it and let's go enjoy your birthday, alright?"

Bella took a deep breath and nodded. "Alright."

(~*~)

The laughter was loud, and once again Bella's clumsiness was at the butt of it. Bella ducked her head and took another suck of the straw in her Long Island Iced Tea, her third drink of the night. Barry had bought it for her. Anna had bought the first, a straight shot of vodka — the only thing Anna ever drank. Bella's second drink came from Matt: a strawberry mango margarita.

Bella blinked as she watched the liquid level in her glass go down. Despite the dinner they'd all eaten before getting started, all the different hard liquors were making her feel blurry. At least the iced tea was like a mixture of the other two. What the hell was triple sec anyway?

"Oh, remember when she fell down the hotel stairs in Montreal on Matt's 21st?" Anna interjected.

"Two steps," Bella protested. "Two steps. And it was a hostel, not a hotel. I still say Barry pushed me."

"I did not." Barry was drunkenly noble in his denial. "Why would I do such a thing?" He took another sip of his beer. "You probably felt Ramesh bumping into you."

"Hey! Why are you pointing the finger at me?" Ramesh placed his hand on his heart and widened his eyes.

"Because you," Barry jerked from the waist down, "keep," another jerk, "kicking me!" Bella realized that Barry was returning the favor, and missed with the third kick because he nearly fell off his chair.

"Ow!" Ramesh laughed.

"So," Anna began as Barry righted himself, "did I hear that there's going to be change in living arrangements soon?"

Bella looked at Ramesh, who shrugged sheepishly. "Sorry, it slipped out."

"Nothing's decided yet," Matt answered, and Bella was grateful for his tact. She wondered if part of him knew that she would probably say no. Would say no. Bella began to feel the room pulse around her head a bit. She felt looser, a little bit freer. And with that freedom she now knew that the answer was going to be no. The Cullens were too special to her, and Bella did not want to give up her midnight talks with Carlisle. The idea of doing them by phone had occurred to her, and was immediately rejected.

"Is this Roberta Flack or Lauren Hill?" Bella said aloud, completely non sequitur.

"Was what Robertla Fack or Laurenill?" Barry responded.

Bella gestured to the walls. There were speakers somewhere. "The song!"

Matt was laughing. "Bella, that was three songs ago." Everyone else at the table started laughing, too, as though it was the funniest thing to happen that night.

"Oh." Bella took another sip.

"It's definitely hitting her. Let the wild rumpus start!" Ramesh called out. Barry and Anna cheered.

Matt leaned over and whispered in her ear. "I'm going to go get you something to snack on. Do you want to start on water?"

Bella shrugged. It didn't matter either way. If Matt brought it, it'd be there for her when she wanted it. When Matt stood up, Ramesh got up, too. "My turn to get Bella a drink."

Bella looked down and saw with surprise that her glass was empty.

(~*~)

Bella had planned on switching to only water after Ramesh's Volga Boatman, but ended up doing another shot of vodka less than an hour later. The time had really flown, and Bella was feeling good. They were just exiting the bar, planning on walking back to campus where Matt would retrieve the car. It was great to be out walking so late at night. She was mostly steady on her feet, though it felt as though she could go swimming in the air. What would that be like? To move through the air like a fish?

"Ask a bird," Barry answered.

"Huh?"

"Oh, Bella, you're such a cute drunk." Ramesh gave her butt a quick pinch, his hand gone by the time Bella tried to slap it away.

"I'm not drunk, just tipsy. It's ebbing."

Matt wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "I believe you." He kissed her temple. "Ramesh is clearly more soused than you are."

Laughing, Ramesh sang loudly as he danced into the crosswalk. "And there he was, this young boy, a stranger to my eyes!"

"Ramesh, campus is the other way!" Bella laughed at him.

It happened fast, and Bella saw it all. It wasn't as though time slowed, but more like Bella's mind sped up to see it happen. But what was the difference really? The car struck Ramesh just below the knees, propelling his upper body onto the hood. The legs followed, hitting the windshield. Ramesh's ankles and feet were in the air, above the roof. For one awful instant he was slumped at an awkward angle, his head twisted so that his cheek was against the hood. And he bounced off, landing on the road just a few feet away from the front headlight of the car as it screeched to a stop.

Bella and Matt ran to him as Anna cried out, "What happened? _Chyort_, what has happened?"

Ramesh didn't move at first. His eyes were open, and he looked at them, dazed.

"Shit! Shit, shit, shit, I didn't see him!" The guy driving the car got out, his girlfriend, too. Bella couldn't tell if they were in shock, drunk, or both. Lil Wayne's rapid gravelly tones boomed from the car.

"What the hell were you doing, driving so fast?" Barry screamed at the kid.

"Is he alright?" The girlfriend started shrieking.

Bella let it all fade into the background. Ramesh's face was bleeding. Had it been a second ago? His leg was twisted underneath his body; he'd landed on it. If he was hurt anywhere else, Bella couldn't tell. His clothes weren't torn, and covered most of his body.

"Ramesh," Matt was saying to him, voice stern and authoritative. "Ramesh, look at me. Can you hear me? Ramesh."

Ramesh's eyes focused on Matt, and he let out a strangled cry. He was in pain.

"I'm dialing 911," Barry announced as he punched the numbers into his cell.

"I already did, asshole!" the girlfriend screamed at him.

"Well, I'm doing it too!" he shouted back at her.

Bella took out her own phone.

"Who are you calling?" Anna asked.

"Better than 911," Bella answered. She spoke quickly into the phone when it was picked up on the other line. "Alice, Carlisle is on duty right now, correct?"

"Yes," Alice answered sadly. "Oh, Bella, I'm so-"

"That's all I needed to know," Bella cut her off and hung up the phone. She didn't want sympathy right now, didn't want to hear anything else Alice might have to say; right now it was time to get Ramesh to the hospital. More blood was becoming visible as it spread into the fabric of his clothes.

"Don't worry, we'll get him to Carlisle. Carlisle will take care of him," Bella said.

(~*~)

It had been hours, and her head was throbbing. Bella had never needed to be in a waiting room under these circumstances. The blue-cushioned chairs grew increasingly uncomfortable. The room seemed to be getting smaller and smaller. The magazines seemed so artificial and offensive. Did people really want to look through TIME or Men's Health while they waited to hear news on a loved one?

Time was relative. Logically, Bella knew that a surgery could take hours. In the OR, the time probably passed quickly as the surgical team invested every second in the examination and repair of the body on the table. Of Ramesh. Yet out here, every minute seemed tripled.

Her hand grew sweaty, slick from the heat of holding Matt's. They sat side by side in silence. No one had anything to say except the occasional comforting word. "Carlisle will take care of him," Bella said, as she had said when they first got there. She never doubted it.

Bella squeezed Matt's hand before letting go and standing up. She needed to stretch her legs, stretch her body. Pointing her arms up to the ceiling, Bella raised onto her toes as she eased the aches throughout the muscles and ligaments of her whole body. Coming back down on her heels, Bella began to pace.

There was no clock in the waiting room. _Typical_, Bella thought sarcastically, even though she was grateful for the wisdom behind this norm. Seeing Barry look at his watch, Bella walked over to him and gestured with her head that she wanted to see, too. His other arm around Anna's shoulders, Barry lifted his wrist.

Another hour had passed.

_Carlisle_, Bella thought, _please, save him quickly. _

She chided herself. Ramesh was badly hurt. If Carlisle needed more time to make sure that Ramesh had the use of all his limbs, and organs that would heal, then he had her blessing to take all the time he needed. Carlisle was taking care of Ramesh. She just had to be patient and wait for the good news. Bella took a deep breath, exhaling through her nose.

Anna abruptly stood up and walked out of the room. Everyone's eyes followed her quick stride and Bella moved to go after her, only to stop at the shake of Anna's head. Instead, Bella returned to her seat beside Matt. Anna was gone only minutes. When she returned her arms were full of junk from the vending machine: pretzels, chips, candy bars, sodas. After dumping all the snacks on the table at the center of the room Anna handed them each a Coke.

The fizz of opened sodas and the crackle of wrappers were the only sounds for the next several minutes. Bella leaned her head on Matt's shoulder, tired despite the fresh intake of caffeine and calories. Matt kissed the top of her head and put an arm around her to stroke her back.

Twenty minutes later, Mr. and Mrs. Rana arrived, anxious and looking rumpled from the long car drive. They'd been in Boston visiting friends, and had not yet flown back to India after returning Ramesh to the college. Matt immediately stood up to great them. "There's no news yet."

"We know," Kapil Rana said. He looked entirely different from the last time Bella had seen him. Tall and robust, his body now drooped as he tiredly scratched at the bald spot on his head.

"Matthew," Priya Rana pulled him into a hug. "Thank you so much for calling us right away." She freed an arm and held it out to Bella. Bella moved forward, and the three of them stood there holding on to each other for several moments.

"Ramesh is going to be fine, Priya," Bella said when she stepped back. "I know the doctor working on him; he's the best there is."

"_Meethi_, you are very kind." Priya put her hand on Bella's cheek.

More time passed, and Bella had somehow managed to doze off. When she started awake, she cursed herself for being disrespectful to Ramesh's parents. Beside her, Matt rubbed her back. Turning, Bella reached over the metal armrests between them and hugged him tight.

Movement had everyone sitting up and looking. Bella leaped to her feet with a smile and the Ranas rushed over when Carlisle and a nurse appeared down the hall. He wore pale blue scrubs, the surgical mask hanging about his neck. He wasn't smiling; his face was serious. Anxious for news, Bella still hung back among the chairs, Matt's hand on her arm. She watched Carlisle and the nurse talk quietly to Ramesh's parents. It was a new way of seeing Carlisle. Bella had been his ER patient before, but she'd never been the one waiting to hear the good news.

Kapil put an arm around Priya when her hands flew to her face. Bella was sure the relief must be overwhelming for them. But then, Carlisle wasn't smiling. The nurse put a hand on Kapil's shoulder.

_Oh no,_ _Ramesh has really been hurt. _

Carlisle looked over to Bella, briefly, as if he'd heard her. Priya gestured back with her hand, nodding her head. With another murmur, the Ranas began to follow the nurse while Carlisle made his way over to them. Bella moved to meet him. His expression was… why wasn't he smiling? If Ramesh's recovery weren't 100%, all his friends would be there for him. Bella would, for sure. She braced for the news. "Carlisle?" she managed to get out.

"Bella." From where she'd stopped directly in front of him Carlisle was able to reach out and grasp her hands. She looked up into his steadfast gaze. "I'm sorry. I did everything I could."

Behind Bella Anna let out a wail. A choked coughing noise came from Matt.

"I don't understand." Something cold began to grow inside her.

Carlisle's hands tightened around hers. "I couldn't save Ramesh, Bella. There was too much damage to his body."

"Carlisle, what – what do you mean you couldn't save him?" The last word rose in pitch; Bella was barely aware of it, couldn't control it.

"I tried, Bella. I am sorry. I am so very sorry." There was pain in those inhuman eyes.

Bella looked away. She saw Matt, standing to their right, tears silently trailing down his cheeks. She turned her head even more, looking over her shoulder. Anna was weeping, face pressed into Barry's chest as he rocked her, murmuring and crying tears of his own. Why was everyone crying? It didn't make any sense.

Bella turned back to Carlisle. The unaccountable expression was still there.

"Bella," Matt's voice registered and Bella turned to look at him. He put his hand on her shoulder. "He's saying Ramesh is gone."

It was like a blow to the gut. Bella almost wanted to bend over from the force of it, despite the holds Carlisle had on her hands and Matt on her shoulder. She controlled the pain and looked at Carlisle again, trying to see it in his face. It was there, but she couldn't believe it. _Carlisle_ wouldn't let her friend die. "Is – is it true?"

Carlisle nodded, his gaze locked on Bella. "Ramesh is dead."

The speed with which the numbness in her cracked, turning into grief, anger, and most especially betrayal, took everyone by surprise, including herself. Bella's hands broke free and she launched herself at Carlisle. "Why? What do you mean you couldn't save him?" Her hands slapped, her fists pounded against his chest, and the pain of the contact barely registered as her emotions poured into the attack. "You liked him! He was my friend! Why didn't you save him? Carlisle! Why? How _could_ you?"

Carlisle stood there and took it, let her beat on him while Matt and Barry were trying to pull her off. How dare he just stand there? He'd brought her breakfast in bed that morning, and now... Why wasn't he answering her?

"Bella! Bella!" Matt was calling her name, finally dragging her off of Carlisle.

"Why?" Bella shouted at him one more time before collapsing against her boyfriend, crying into his chest just as Anna had been crying into Barry's. She wasn't even aware of her broken nails and bleeding fingers.

* * *

**A/N: Acknowledgments: Miaokuancha, for last-minute assistance in French translation and in being a second pair of eyes when I needed one. BookWormBaby2580 and KT8812, for their efforts in finding the right Hindi word. AllTheOtherNamesAreUsed, for being the amazing beta-extraordinaire she is, whether mid-flight or midnight.**

**"Let the wild rumpus start!" is from _Where the Wild Things Are_ by Maurice Sendak.**

**I've come across several varying translations of Catullus 5. So here are my personal offerings for you curious folks (not to be taken with academic seriousness, esp. since there's actually only one speaker).**

**Bella: When the moon comes out, let's have a never-ending night.**

**Carlisle: Kiss me 100 times… 1000 times… 100 more… 1000 more again… and another 100.**

**Bella: We're going to kiss so much we'll have to hide the number so no one gets jealous.**

**Or**

**Bella: It's nighttime! Let's make this last forever.**

**Carlisle: Just keep kissing me.**

**Bella: Count on it.**

**Next chapter… Oh, the angst! Oh, the grief! Oh, the make up...**


	27. Chapter 27

~*~ Chapter Twenty-Seven ~*~

September

The four college students went back to the apartment in a daze, not wanting to separate. With all Ramesh's things strewn about, being in the apartment was hard. It was a mistake. They could have gone to one of the dorms, grouped together in one of the floor lounges. That would have meant explaining, which none of them wanted to do. But, it would have been better then crashing where they did, only to wake up in the late afternoon and face Ramesh's absence.

(~*~)

Alone in the bathroom, the artificial yellow light turned the blood under and around her fingernails to a dark brown. Several of her nails were chipped or outright broken, creating a jagged landscape as Bella splayed her fingers out in front of her. Stuck in the caked blood of one nail was a single white thread.

She stared for several long minutes at her hands and felt nothing. There was only the slight buzz of the light in the ceiling above her.

Bella grabbed the nailbrush and scrubbed at her fingers, turning the water on so that it came out of the faucet at full blast. The friction got the scabs off, but fresh blood fell into the sink from the wounds that weren't yet healed.

(~*~)

The police came that day, to go over their statements a second time. Bella hated it. Talking aloud about the accident meant that she could no longer pretend it was some terrible mistake, that there was nothing she could still do to change what had happened. She didn't want to have to relive seeing the car hit Ramesh, or picture Ramesh on the road, in blood-soaked clothes, cries of pain reverberating out of his throat. Yet it didn't matter if she spoke of it or not, she still saw it every time she closed her eyes.

(~*~)

There were missed calls on Bella's phone from Esme that first day. The following day Alice and Carlisle also tried to contact Bella, but all three went unanswered.

On the third day they didn't call. Maggie showed up at the end of the evening, only to deliver some of Bella's things: clothes, books, toiletries. Bella thanked her, but didn't want to talk. Maggie only nodded understanding and was on her way again.

Carlisle called again the next day.

(~*~)

_"Bella, I am so very sorry about Ramesh. I know you're hurting, and need some time. It might be hard for you to believe right now, but I _am_ here for you. Please, call me when you are ready, or come to the house. Any time."_

(~*~)

Middlebury College held a memorial. More than two hundred people attended, including staff, student peers and the Cullen family. When it was over, the Cullens cautiously approached Bella, but she wouldn't talk with them. She yelled nonsensically at Alice and couldn't even make herself look at Carlisle.

(~*~)

_"Bella, I just want to know that you're okay." _

(~*~)

For the first time, Bella didn't protest Matt paying her way. She allowed Matt to cover her airfare when she flew with him and his family to Mumbai for the funeral. The text from Carlisle on her phone remained unanswered. It was his last attempt before he let her grieve in peace.

Please, talk with me.

(~*~)

It was late at night when Bella and Matt returned to Middlebury. The long flight, followed by the long drive, left them feeling haggard. They both just wanted to wash up and go to bed. Bella let Matt have the bathroom first, and while he was in there, she opened the door to what had once been Ramesh's bedroom.

It was empty. Not a piece of furniture, item of clothing or stray piece of trash. Everything had been brought back to Mumbai or given to charity, apart from a few personal memorabilia that Kapil and Priya had given to Matt. Bella looked at the four walls, the darkened window.

Ramesh was here no more. She'd helped pack things away, and had her chance to say goodbye twice: at the memorial and again in Mumbai. Bella truly believed that wherever he was right now, he was at peace.

That didn't make the room feel any less empty.

Matt came up beside her, and put his hand on her shoulder. They stood there in silence for several minutes.

"You know what Ramesh would say if he were here with us right now?"

Bella attempted to smile. "He'd tell us to…wipe these sad expressions off our faces and go find something fun to do?"

Matt shook his head. "'Guys, I sang the wrong song.'"

It took Bella a second before she remembered. She started to chuckle, just a little. Matt grinned at her and pulled her into a hug. Her quiet tears wet his shirt.

(~*~)

The driver of the car that struck Ramesh was a 24-year-old local from Ripton. He was arrested and charged with vehicular manslaughter and driving under the influence. He pled guilty to both counts. Due to his lack of priors, he was charged a fine for the DUI and sentenced to 7 to 12 years in prison for the death of Ramesh Rana.

(~*~)

Getting back into routine was easier than Bella expected. However, it was a different routine: returning each night to the apartment rather than the house on Morse Road. She was closer now to the campus, and her part-time job at the Storm Café. Bella didn't have to run into any of the Cullens — not even Alice and Jasper — if she didn't want to.

She didn't. Life felt so fleeting now, and human frailty was no different than that of a butterfly. Bella didn't want to step away from it. She wanted to hear and smell and taste what was around her. Cling to it for as long as she could. Imagine that if she paid attention, the leaves would be with her a little longer before turning brown and falling. So, no, Bella wasn't ready. The Cullens — who didn't die, didn't age, didn't change — would still be there when she was.

(~*~)

October

The day was almost gone. Another day passing without a return phone call from Bella, another day with his text still unanswered. There was one last thing to look for, Carlisle thought as he drove up the long driveway, before he accepted that another day had passed without Bella. He hoped that she might come to the house, whether he was there or not, to talk with someone, or even to gather a few more of her things.

Every time Carlisle came home, he made note of the strength of Bella's scent, hoping to detect a fresh infusion. Instead, it was nearly completely faded.

(~*~)

In the back of her mind, Bella registered the familiar sounds that signaled Matt returning to the apartment. He was later than usual. Bella hadn't minded. It didn't matter whether he was home late or early. She remained focused on her lecture notes for Advanced Readings in Latin.

"Hello," Matt said coming into the kitchen.

"Hi," Bella said, without looking up. When she felt him standing just behind her, Bella finished the paragraph she was on and then turned around with a small smile. Her eyebrows rose when she saw that Matt was holding a bouquet of flowers.

"For you." He held them out and bent down to kiss her lightly on the lips.

Bella took them. "They're beautiful," she said, without really noticing what they were. "What's the occasion?"

"Simply that I love you. No other reason."

Bella smiled at him again and started to rise. "I should put them in water."

"They're already in a vase."

Bella looked again. "Oh, so they are. Sorry, I'm just a little distracted from the surprise. Thank you." Bella placed them on the end, of the table, away from the textbooks. The bouquet did brighten the room, but it did little to distract her from her translations.

(~*~)

November

It wasn't even cold enough to snow yet. Bella stared out the window, rubbing her arms. She'd turned up the heat, thrown on an extra shirt. She just couldn't get comfortable.

(~*~)

Moving down the hall, going from one patient's room to another, Carlisle rolled the phone over in his hand. He would have heard the vibration had it gone off, but he checked during unobserved moments anyway. Every time.

(~*~)

Sometimes pain and emptiness were comfortable, and depression a bitter friend. She'd settled things in her head. Bella knew what was reasonable, what was not, and what she'd done wrong. Her behavior had been reprehensible. It was completely in her power to fix. But she'd been nursing that broken part inside so long that letting it go was frightening. Now shame was another blanket covering it.

The trees were bare, the leaves all fallen, and the sky grey. It fit her mood as Bella walked across campus on her way to her car. Just a few more hours and she'd be on her way with Matt to Connecticut, to spend Thanksgiving with his family.

A touch of uneasiness prickled along the skin at the back of her neck, and Bella stopped. The sensation was familiar. Bella turned around slowly.

Jasper was walking purposefully behind her, striding to catch up to her. Though his expression was not unkind, it carried a definite determination. Bella knew that this was not an encounter she could avoid. She stopped and waited for Jasper to reach her, a vampire she'd once readily considered a brother.

"Hi," she said timidly.

Jasper smiled. "May I?" he asked, gesturing to the two books she hadn't been able to fit into her loaded messenger bag.

"Sure," Bella agreed, and passed them over. He wasn't playing with her emotions — Jasper wouldn't do that, not like this — but he was genuinely trying to put her at ease. "How are you?" Once the words left her mouth Bella realized that she _really_ wanted to know, to know how all of the family was doing.

"Wondering how you are. You've been avoiding us for a long time, Bella."

Bella looked down at her feet as they kept walking. "I know. Does it feel that way, that it's been a long time, to you?"

"Just because we're immortal doesn't mean separation feels any shorter or less painful, Bella. And I am not Carlisle; I won't let you distract from my purpose with philosophical questions. Trust me, not even he would let you get off-topic for long; he's hurting more than all of us."

Bella choked on the sob she tried to suppress. Carlisle's name had been a swift cut to her heart, and hearing that he was hurting only deepened it. She'd known he would be missing her, but…

Jasper was watching her. "Esme couldn't help herself the day Ramesh died. We all knew that you needed space, but she wanted so much to comfort you. Not returning her calls, we understood, at first. Alice wanted to apologize, but she knew you'd ignore her, too. She tried anyway.

"Carlisle wants so desperately to talk with you, to explain, to know you're okay. He blames himself for everything. For Ramesh, for your reaction, for your absence."

"It's not Carlisle's fault!" Bella snapped out.

Jasper nodded. "Good. We both know it's not. _He_ doesn't know you believe that, Bella. Your absence and your silence are wounding him terribly."

Bella didn't want to hear this. It made her angry, and sad, bringing up the well of grief to nearly overflowing. She wanted… but she couldn't yet, couldn't make herself.

"Don't talk to me about Carlisle anymore," Bella snapped at Jasper again, and then recoiled at her own rudeness. "I'm sorry, but, please… How's Maggie?"

"Maggie understands. We all do understand, Bella." Jasper stopped and handed her back the books. He achieved his purpose, and he understood better now what she was going through, as well. "We all just want to know how you are faring, because we care about you."

"I care about all of you, too."

"Then don't hide too much longer, Bella, please, for all our sakes." Jasper left Bella alone with her thoughts.

(~*~)

Carlisle worked through Thanksgiving. He claimed that he simply wanted to let the other doctors have the opportunity to spend it with their families. The rest of the Cullens knew better; that wasn't his only reason.

"I can't stand this!" Edward threw his hands up in the air, pacing the living room. "I want to just make Carlisle go talk to her."

"You've got to just let things happen on their own, Edward."

"Oh, like you've been doing? Great job, Alice, I've never seen Carlisle so wretched."

"What do you think I am, some sort of puppet master?" Alice shouted back at him, fed up. "I don't manipulate or pull strings. I don't give or take away free will."

"Right, like you didn't manipulate me three years ago."

Esme made a distressed noise, and reached out to Edward to calm him. He stopped his pacing.

"I didn't take away your choices, Edward, I simply showed you what I knew, told you what I saw. I'm glad and very thankful that you listened."

Edward let out a long sigh, and dropped his head to rest on Esme's. "What do you see now, Alice?"

"That things _are_ going to be alright." She stood and walked over to her brother, joined her hand on top of Esme's at his shoulder. "I don't like seeing him so unhappy either, Edward."

"None of us do," Maggie added. "Yet we all know better than to interfere and try to force a thing to happen."

"I still can't believe all of you have known about Bella and Carlisle all this time and didn't tell me," Rosalie sniffed.

"Only Alice _knew_, Rosalie. The rest of us just paid attention."

"And neither of them has any idea? Seriously?"

Maggie shook her head. "Any time one of them begins to, it's suppressed."

"They're both miserable right now without each other," Jasper put in. "I think it's only a matter of time before they realize why."

"Alright, so how much longer before this rift is healed?" Rosalie asked. "When is Bella going to leave the look-alike and be with Carlisle?"

Alice simply outstretched her hands, palms up. "We all have to wait for the next chapter. Just be patient and let them see this through."

(~*~)

Early December

Bella's fretful tossing and turning woke Matt up. He tried to hold her, but in her nightmare she kept turning, pushing him away. Still making soothing noises and murmuring her name, Matt rubbed her arm. "It's alright, Bella. You're okay. Everything's going to be alright."

Bella calmed down, finally settling on her stomach, face turned away from Matt. "Carlisle," she whimpered into her pillow before going silent.

Matt stayed up another hour, deep in thought while he watched her.

(~*~)

The following morning, as usual, Matt woke to find Bella had already left to go to her classes. It wasn't until afternoon that they were together in the apartment again, and Matt had the opportunity to broach the subject he had finally decided couldn't be ignored anymore. When he walked through the door, Bella was on the couch; she'd fallen asleep with a book on her chest.

"Mmm," she grunted, waking as Matt divested himself of his coat. "Hey," she greeted quietly and went into the kitchen to get a glass of water.

"How did your day go?" he called after her.

"Not bad. Lots of reviewing, what with finals next week. You?"

"Same."

Bella returned to the living room, dry mouth sated.

"Bella, listen… I want to talk with you about Carlisle."

Bella started in surprise. "What?"

"I think you need to talk to him."

Bella crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm not ready to," she said to the floor.

"I've tried to respect that — that you didn't want to talk to any of the Cullens — but it's gone on for too long." Matt tried to be as gentle as he could. "Bella, it's been almost three months since Ramesh died."

"I know how long it's been."

"You're not moving on. You're not happy. You go to class, go to work, come back to the apartment, but you're just _existing_, Bella. There's more grief still in you, and it's not because of Ramesh. It's because of Carlisle."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Matt reached to the end table and grabbed a tissue. He handed it to Bella. "Then listen. I knew Ramesh longer, better than you. I'm not saying that to establish any kind of grieving rights, I'm saying that so you can see the difference in our behavior. I'm still living. I try to take you out, meet with friends, add a little humor to the day."

"I've gone out with you." Bella tossed the used tissue in the trash and resumed her stance.

"Yes, and I can manage to coax a smile out of you from time to time. But you are still unhappy underneath it. And I know it's not just because Ramesh died, it's because Carlisle let you down. You looked up to him. You had absolute unwavering faith in that waiting room, and it was all crushed when he came out with the news."

Underneath her elbow, Bella flexed the fingers of her right hand. Her words were a combination of defiant and rueful. "I remember how I acted."

"I don't think you'd have reacted that way if it had been another doctor. The truth is, Bella, that any doctor would have lost Ramesh, even Carlisle." Matt walked over to Bella, and lifted her chin so that he could look into her eyes. "Carlisle is just a man, Bella."

"He's not just a _man_." Bella stepped away from him, gesticulating as she paced the room. "He's – he's… he's _Carlisle_."

"Oh, sorry. I didn't realize that Jesus Christ had come back to Earth to masquerade as a doctor."

Bella spun. "What?"

"Carlisle isn't a god, Bella, but you've always seemed to regard him as though he were above the rest of us. I admit there have been times when I haven't liked the guy because of it. You have a special affection for him. He's important to you." Matt put his hand on her shoulders as he faced her, giving each a soothing downward stroke. "But he's not capable of raising the dead. Never was."

Bella stared at him, eyes wide. Matt wished he could figure out what was going on inside her head.

"Alright, I'll concede that I've avoided the Cullens too long. I've been thinking about talking to them again, especially since Jasper sought me out the other day."

"You didn't tell me about that." Matt was surprised.

"Sorry, it was a few days ago, before Thanksgiving. It shook me up."

"What did he say?"

Bella took a deep breath, raising her shoulders and dropping them again. "That everyone understands, but they miss me."

"That's all?"

"That's the nutshell."

"You've been having bad dreams every night since."

"What?"

"You've been tossing and turning, just like you used to when Ramesh first died. Only last night you were crying for Carlisle."

"That doesn't make any sense." Bella trembled slightly; it was so brief Matt almost didn't notice.

"It makes perfect sense." And caused Matt no little amount of despair. "It's like I said before, you have a special affection for him. I'd even go so far as to say that he's more important to you than I am."

"Matt—"

Matt calmly took her right hand, laying her palm on his. Raising it to draw her attention to what he was doing, Matt pointed to the swan ring that had adorned her finger ever since he'd known her. He dropped his hand, but Bella's remained raised as she quietly stared at the Christmas gift Carlisle had given her when she was eighteen. A single tear started to form in her eye. Matt softly wiped it with his thumb when it began to fall, and then he pulled Bella into a hug.

"I want so much for you to be happy," he said into her hair. "To see you smile the way you used to, to see your whole face light up with it. So think about talking to Carlisle. Repair your broken friendship with him." He kissed her head and pulled back to look into her eyes. "Okay?"

Bella nodded. "Okay."

Matt kissed her lips, lightly, his hand under her chin. "How about I make us some dinner before I have to go out tonight — spaghetti and meatballs?"

"Sounds good."

Matt let her go, and started into the kitchen, but then he stopped. "Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you." If he sounded a little desperate, he couldn't help it.

(~*~)

"I love you, too, Matt," she'd told him, and meant it.

Bella sat on the couch in their apartment, alone. The lights were off. Matt had left to watch a performance for one of his classes. Once upon a time she'd have gone with him, but she hadn't been doing much of that this semester.

Matt was right; he was right about a lot. She had only been existing, not fully happy, still grieving inside. It wasn't just blaming Alice for not seeing what would happen to Ramesh, or Carlisle for not being able to save him. Bella had long ago gotten control over those unreasonable thoughts. But it was what had happened with Carlisle that still made her ache inside. She'd lost her ideal, the elevated perception she never realized she had of him.

Carlisle may be a vampire, but Matt was right, Carlisle was just a man. An imperfect man who did the best he could, who happened to be good, compassionate, intelligent — and completely undeserving of the way she had been treating him. She didn't want his absence anymore.

Bella became resolved. She was going to talk to Carlisle.

Her phone beeped an incoming text alert. It was from Alice.

Carlisle goes off duty at 11.

That was in twenty minutes. Bella kissed the face of her phone and rose to grab her coat, before she lost her nerve.

(~*~)

Carlisle's steps resounded on the black asphalt of the parking lot. The night was dark, the sky clouded over. Though it had been unseasonably warm for December, snow was expected to fall overnight tonight. If he took a deep breath, Carlisle could detect the hint of it on the air. He was still several feet away from his car when he caught it – the scent he'd been looking for every day for nearly three months. He started to spin on his heel, several thoughts and their tangents striking him at once. Was she hurt? If she was, he'd return to duty, personal interest be damned. Yet she might not want him there. Perhaps she was in the building looking for him. Had she finally come to talk to him? Was she out here?

Carlisle dared to hope, and after he'd done nothing more than shift his weight to the back sole of his shoe, he saw her. She was here, standing outside her vehicle, parked just a few spaces away from his. The collar was turned up on the pea coat she wore, her head unadorned. Her hands were in her pockets and her feet were pressed together. She was watching him.

Bella had come to see him.

Carlisle wanted to rush over to her, hold her, but he knew he had to go easy. Carefully, slowing his body to so much less than the speed he wanted to move at, he approached her. Her face was serious, holding almost no expression, but in her brown eyes he could see a vulnerability shimmering underneath the surface. It was evoking all sorts of emotions in him.

"Hi," she said softly, and it was so good to hear her voice.

"Bel-la." Carlisle swallowed, gathered his voice. "How have you been?"

"Unhappy." Bella answered honestly because there was no other way to have this conversation. "And you?"

It hurt to hear her say it aloud, to know that she'd been grieving all this time. He wanted nothing more than to comfort her, to ease her pain, and his own. "I am so sorry about Ramesh."

Bella rolled her lips against each other before speaking. "I'm so sorry for the way I acted that night."

"Bella, it was completely understandable. I wish so much that I could have saved his life, that I could have reversed the damage…"

Bella's head tilted to the side and she looked at him with wide eyes. "Carlisle, do you honestly think I believe it was your fault?"

"Yes, and I understand completely why you blame me. I wasn't capable enough to save your friend."

"I don't blame _you_, I blamed _myself._" Bella had to work around the clog in her throat and the pressure behind her eyes to get the words out. It was painful, in so many ways, saying what she had to say. "I saw it. I couldn't stop it. It was as though for that one awful moment my mind moved with a speed capable of your own, but my body was immobile. I could do nothing, _nothing_."

"Bella," Carlisle stepped forward; he wanted to put his arms around her, but she retreated, holding her hands up and shaking her head.

"You have to hear me through, please. I need to get this out. I saw it. I saw Ramesh in the crosswalk, the car coming so fast, hitting him, every detail of his body moving. I couldn't stop any of it. But I could get him to you." Bella gasped, to breath around the tears and the talking. "It was my birthday. He was drunk because he wanted to celebrate _my_ 21st birthday. I couldn't change that, but I _could_ make sure to get him to you, so you could save him."

Carlisle was looking at her with such misery on his face it made her ache. She had to keep going, had to keep talking, to get through it all so that, hopefully, she could stop causing this wonderful man so much hurt.

"I understand that Ramesh was beyond saving, Carlisle, I do. And part of the reason I've been unable to talk to you, to even look at you when you were at the memorial, is that in facing you I faced my _own_ failure."

"Bella, you haven't failed at anything. Please, don't ever feel that Ramesh's death was your fault."

Eyes closed, Bella shook her head again, belying his words. "Oh, I have failed, Carlisle, I have, but not there. I know now that Ramesh would have died no matter what you or I could have done. But I wasn't ready to accept it. I wasn't ready to accept the fact that death exists, and it exists so close to me, and I am powerless next to it. The thought of seeing you, seeing Alice, seeing any of you… I felt mortal and small. I didn't want to associate any of those things with you. I ran; I hid; I avoided."

"You needed time," Carlisle said as gently as he could.

"I did. Time to get over Ramesh's loss." She looked at him, trying to convey her appreciation. "Thank you for giving it to me, it _was_ what I needed from you."

"I wish I could have been there for you more, Bella. I wish I could have held you through your tears — as I wish it even now — through such a devastating loss. I knew I couldn't be the one to do that. I knew what I must represent for you, and that you must have blamed me, at least for a while. And I _do_ blame myself, because no matter what I tried, I could do _nothing_ to prevent you this unhappiness. I would have given anything."

"Carlisle." Bella looked up at the night sky, words failing her. She felt the hitch inside when, buried in all his frantic words, Carlisle asked to hold her. But not yet, it wasn't right yet; she hadn't made everything right yet. Bella used the back of her sleeve to wipe her cheeks, where the drying tears made her itch. "God. I wouldn't ever have wanted Ramesh to die. But we have to move forward. Ramesh did die. And I have grieved, and I'm so sorry for what I've caused you by being gone. I do _not_ want you to blame yourself. If I'd been around, perhaps I could have saved you that."

"Please, don't burden yourself with what-ifs," Carlisle said. He felt almost incredulous. She wanted to save him pain after everything she'd been going through? "You're right, Bella, we have to move forward."

Bella nodded. "I don't think I'm the same person I used to be. I mean, I'm still _me_, but I'm never going to… be so blind, to take things for granted. I was so naïve, Carlisle. Now… I'm never going to forget that Ramesh is gone."

"Of course you aren't. Bella, changing doesn't mean you've failed."

"No, it doesn't. That isn't what I meant when I said that I've failed."

"Will you tell me what you meant? Please?" Carlisle needed to convince Bella that nothing that had happened in regards to Ramesh constituted a failure on her part in any way. Bella viewing herself as such was the last thing Carlisle wanted for her, and if he could convince her otherwise, maybe he could see her look happy again.

"Carlisle, I failed _you_."

"Never."

Bella almost laughed at his immediate protest. As it was, she smiled a little. _This_ was Carlisle, and underneath all the angst of this conversation was the pull, the enjoyment of being with him again. "Do you remember what you said to me the morning of my birthday? That you weren't perfect and you didn't want me to think of you that way?"

"Yes." Those hadn't been his exact words, but that had been part of the message he was trying to get across.

"That's exactly what I did. I saw you as something perfect. I saw you as I wanted to see you, 'a notch above everyone else.' It was wrong of me. In everything that you shared with me, I never let myself see _you_. And then I had no choice. I didn't just lose Ramesh; I lost…"

Bella paused, pressing her lips together, putting her hands against her chest to find the words to communicate what was going on inside her. "I lost your perfection, and it was a foundation I hadn't realized I leaned on so much. Everything in my world would always be right because Dr. Carlisle Cullen was a part of it. How could anything ever go wrong when I had you in my corner?"

Bella ran her hands through her hair, shaking her head. "It was fucked up. I treated you as though your goodness was some sort of talisman that gave me a charmed life. I've… had… a family of _vampires_ as my nearest and dearest. So I was… covered, protected."

Carlisle stared at Bella, and wondered if he and his family hadn't all done her a disservice by being so open with her, sharing their lives with her. But, by God, he didn't want to _not_ be a part of Bella's life. He started to tell her just that, that he wished he could be her talisman and prevent her from ever hurting again the way she did for Ramesh, but all he had to offer was his fallible self.

"I was wrong," Bella continued before he spoke. "To look at you that way, to act the way I did. I should never have turned away from you, Carlisle. And I realized that. I realized it almost immediately but I couldn't make myself change it. Every time I thought of you, my stomach would clench and I'd feel sick. Sick because I was so ashamed, sick because I was hating that I couldn't make myself go to you yet. And I've felt lost, all this time; a piece of me was missing and I didn't know how to get it back, and was too scared to admit that it was gone." Bella lowered her head and looked at her feet.

"Bella, it's not just you. I've felt the same way; something inside of me has been lost without you there."

"I think I knew that," Bella breathed, almost a whisper. She raised her face, made eye contact. "And that's another way in which I've failed you, by staying away so long. The… man you really are has been there all this time. And I've been hiding from you, when I should have been doing just the opposite, coming to you and treating you as you deserved to be treated, not shunning you.

"You are my best friend, Carlisle. But instead of really seeing you, I put you on some sort of pedestal. You were untouchable. I mean, we still hugged and cuddled, but it was like…"

Carlisle didn't breathe, didn't fill the silence. He waited tensely for Bella to finish. He didn't know how he would take it if she said that she regretted all the time they'd spent together.

Still at a loss for words, Bella just stopped searching for them. She simply looked at Carlisle, trying to see not an ideal, but what was real in front of her. His face, the expression in his eyes…he looked so young and vulnerable. No, he had never belonged where she had set him, just out of reach. They belonged within each other's reach, and right now, he needed her.

"I remember the first time I saw the sunlight on your skin. I felt… you were something special, something superior, even when we clasped hands. I never felt equal to you."

"I never wanted you to feel that way."

"I know," Bella answered. "And I know different now." Slowly, Bella raised her hand, the tip of her tongue sneaking out slightly for a nervous lick of her lips. Her hand was up, palm out, tilting at an angle toward Carlisle.

They looked into each other's eyes.

He raised his own hand, brought it parallel to hers. The space between them was infinitesimal. Bella could almost imagine that she felt the cool of his skin before she slowly brought her fingertips to his. Carlisle pressed against her slightly, bringing his palm closer to hers so that his hand was straight and erect. Again he waited and let Bella close the distance between them. The pads of their thumbs touched, the rounded base of their pinkies and forefingers pressed. Her skin gave to his, soft to hard, warm to cool.

Yes, his skin felt cool, but it was smooth and strong. Bella brought her palm in, closing even the slightest remaining distance.

"See? You're touchable now."

"I always have been."

"I never saw it, never felt it."

"And you're feeling it now?"

"Yes, Carlisle, I'm feeling you now." They continued to look into one another's eyes, and then Bella broke. "I've missed you so much," she said on a tremble.

In the next instant, they were in each other's arms, finally hugging, holding each other as they had been unable to do for months. "I've missed you, too, Bella. It hurt every day that you stayed away."

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry to have done this to both of us." She spoke into his coat, turning her head to the side so she could bury her cheek against his soft scarf.

"Hush, you haven't done anything." He stroked her hair, lifting the scent of flowers and waterfalls around him, so happy to surround himself in it again. "Bella, Bella," Carlisle murmured. "I will never want you gone."

"I won't be."

They stood there for several minutes, holding each other, burrowing, giving little caresses and reassuring themselves that the other was finally there and able to hold again. Around them a light snow began to fall.

Carlisle said the two words he'd been wanting to say to Bella for months. "Come home."

"Yes."

* * *

**A/N: Many thanks to AlltheOtherNamesAreUsed for graciously going over a 2nd draft of this chapter. Not our usual. **

**I'd like to apologize for not responding to reviews last chapter. I do appreciate that each and every one of you took the time to say something to me, whether positive or negative, and that I always value. That there wasn't a single review that didn't compliment my writing… well, _wow_. **

**If things go swimmingly (which how often do they, really?) the next chapter should post in one week's time. How do you like that marzipan in your pie plate, Bingo? **

**Next chapter… a Moonlit December, and most of you probably know what _that_ means. xx**


	28. Chapter 28: Moonlit December

~*~ Chapter Twenty-Eight: Moonlit December ~*~

Christmas was in two weeks. Carlisle was looking forward to it, much more than he had been just ten days ago. Bella was home again. She'd returned with him to the house the very night she'd waited for him outside the hospital. Everyone had been happy to see her; there'd been more hugs and tears. She'd stayed, falling asleep in his arms.

Bella had class the following morning, and he later learned that she'd made a point to catch up with her boyfriend while at the college. That afternoon Matt had come with her to the house. As much as Carlisle wanted Bella to come home again, he hoped Matt wasn't hurt over the decision. Bella living with Matt hadn't been a romantic decision, so much as escapism - and Carlisle was sure that after Ramesh's death, Matt had needed her there.

Carlisle had watched from the living room as Matt carried a box of her things up the stairs. There wasn't actually much to return to the house; most of Bella's things were still there —a fact that had given Carlisle hope over the last three months. It was in Matt's shoulders that Carlisle could see how he was feeling. Matt was disappointed but resigned. He wasn't unhappy, though, as Matt's tension eased whenever Bella touched him, and especially when she had kissed his cheek.

Bella and Matt had been together for two years, and Carlisle wondered where their relationship would go from here. Mutual grief tended to bring couples closer, and whatever the circumstances, they had just spent three months living together. Their attachment was still evident, but how often did romantic couples survive cohabiting and then moving apart? Carlisle wasn't insensitive to how Bella moving out — returning _home_ — might feel to Matt. So he had watched; Matt was a good soul, and Carlisle didn't want him feeling too low.

All the same, Carlisle knew that Bella belonged right where she was: back in his house.

It was already late into the night, and the sun had taken with it what lingering warmth it provided in the day. All around him during the back road drive through Middlebury, homes were turning up the heat. Bright moonlight hit the pale gray smoke that billowed out from chimneys, and the nearby air became permeated with the sweet smell of burning wood.

The scent tickled Carlisle's nose and made him smile as he made his way home. _Bella would enjoy the smell,_ Carlisle thought. _Perhaps for Christmas we'll get the fireplace going. _Normally his home would not have needed to be heated during the winter, but in the years since Bella had lived with them it was a minor bill to ensure her physical comfort. The last few months during Bella's absence he'd kept the heat on, always hoping that she'd return.

Carlisle was unbelievably happy. His home hadn't felt complete while she had been gone. Now every night he could look forward to coming home to her. She ate in his kitchen again, curled up on the couch in the living room again, chatted with him in his office again. Yet, it wasn't quite the same as it had been before. She still laughed and smiled, and each occurrence warmed his heart. In quiet moments, however, there was a certain wisdom and maturity in her eyes that hadn't been there. When he looked into them he felt both excited and at peace. He could look into her eyes all day; he was just that happy to have her home again.

Carlisle sang along with Bing Crosby on the radio until he had to turn it off. The house was decorated with holly and ivy twined around every pole and accenting every corner. White lights offset the dark green and red. This was mainly Alice and Esme's doing. Alice's spirit for celebration and Esme's caring heart had always led to festive décor around Christmastime.

Carlisle smiled at his family when he entered. They were all in the living room, surrounding the coffee table and the mound of flour on it. The sight made Carlisle pause, until he realized that they were playing a very old-fashioned Christmas game. The three ladies were sitting on the floor, while Jasper was on the couch, Alice leaning against his knees. Esme was taking her turn, carefully slicing a bit out of the firmly packed dome of flour, not disturbing the ring resting on top.

"Flour pudding?" Carlisle asked them.

Alice grinned at him. "It's all the more fun if you're a vampire." Carlisle shook his head fondly at his family. The person who made the ring fall with their slice would have the penalty of fetching it out with their teeth, therefore the phrase "eat dirt" could be used literally with the Cullens. As they were each able to calculate the mass and density with a single look, flour pudding also became a game of wit, accuracy and restrained strength.

"Bella sound asleep?" he asked the room. Jasper nodded at him. Carlisle started to make his way up the stairs, eager to actualize the idea that had occurred to him on the way home.

"Your timing is going to work out perfectly, by the way," Alice called out to him.

Carlisle's smile encompassed the entire room before he went up. The moment he was out of sight Esme raised her eyebrows hopefully at Alice, who winked back. Maggie grinned.

Upstairs, Bella turned over and smiled sleepily at Carlisle when she felt his weight press down beside her. He'd come to wake her. It was a return to their old tradition, and it made Bella feel warm and happy. Over the last week, she'd found herself talking with Carlisle about anything and everything. If she brought up her Latin courses, he would discuss Livy with her. In a more serious moment she mentioned how her grief had made her intensely aware of the foliage in October. Carlisle gave comfort and support, and then their conversation flowed into making comparisons of what her eyes and his eyes could see in the leaves. Lighter times had them both making each other laugh. It was so good to have him back in her life again, and to be back in his. "Hey."

"Hello," Carlisle answered just as gently. He sat on the edge of the bed, his hand resting on the covers over Bella's hip. She could see him clearly in the moonlight that came in through the window. Bella couldn't explain why, but she really liked the way scarves looked on Carlisle.

"Late night?" Bella lifted herself up onto her elbow, blinking sleep out of her eyes.

"Yes. Thankfully a quiet one." Carlisle smiled at her, still keeping his voice at a murmur. "Did you sleep well?"

"Thus far," Bella answered, her mouth curving up in a tease. Her bedroom clock revealed it to be nearly two in the morning.

Carlisle's hand shifted from her hip to grasp her free hand. "If you don't mind, I'd like it if you got up for a little while. I have something to share with you I think you'll enjoy."

"Really?" With the teasing grin still on her face, she flopped backwards, allowing herself to fall abruptly back onto her pillow. "But I'm comfortable here. It's so warm and cozy under the covers." Holding the blankets and comforter to her, Bella made as though she was settling in, wriggling her hips into the warmth and earning a chuckle from Carlisle.

Leaning forward, Carlisle kissed the tip of her nose. "It's Christmas, Bella. Indulge me."

He was gone from the room before she could respond, knowing she would shortly join him downstairs. Bella almost wanted to protest after him that he was assuming too much, but who would she have been kidding? Since moving back she had not once passed up a chance to spend time with Carlisle. Besides, it wasn't as if she had classes in the morning. Christmas vacation had officially begun that afternoon, when Bella completed her last final. Matt had departed the day before, off to be with his family. He'd been perfectly understanding about her wanting to spend Christmas with the Cullens; in fact, he'd seemed to have expected it.

Missing the warmth of the bed, Bella dressed in layers before going downstairs. She was glad she had, because when she reached the hall, she found Carlisle waiting with her winter coat in his hand.

"We're going outside?" she asked, and her whine was very pitiable. Alice and Jasper laughed as Bella begrudgingly slipped on the coat. With no need to confirm the obvious, Carlisle settled her wool cap over her head, lowering it to cover her eyes. "Hey!"

"Keep your eyes covered, Bella. It'll be worth it," Alice told her.

"It's true," Maggie said pertly and Bella could picture her curly red hair bouncing about as she nodded her head.

"Fine," Bella said grudgingly, which was in complete contrast to the wave of anticipation moving through her. Once Bella was fully bundled she and Carlisle went out the door.

"Have fun!" Alice called after them, smirking. She turned back to the game to discover the ring falling above her knife. "Son of a-"

The peals of laughter in the living room were the last sounds Bella heard before Carlisle swept her onto his back and they were off running. She held on tight, not wanting her grip to slip and cause her to fall off his back. The cold hit her cheeks and she pressed her face against him. Her scarf protected the back of her neck, even as its fringes danced behind her from the speed of their passage.

Bella had a sense of the proximity of trees, and then she could feel open space around them. Carlisle would have to be moving fast out in the open in order to avoid being seen. She tried to figure out which direction they were heading in, and felt the presence of trees again. She gave up, and just let herself trust in Carlisle.

It was both odd and familiar to be on Carlisle's back. With the return of their camaraderie had come the constant need to touch. If they'd relaxed against each other or cuddled before, they were doing it twice as often now. A handhold when one of them came into the same room, a cuddle on the couch in the living room while talking with the others. Whenever Carlisle's hand slipped into hers it was a reassurance that everything was all right between them again, and the solid form of Carlisle near her was a constant comfort and support. As was his scent. Her nose pressed against the back of his neck, Bella breathed in the aroma of cider, nighttime and books.

After several minutes, Carlisle came to a stop and slowly lowered her to the ground. Once she regained some feeling in her legs, Bella pushed her hat back on her head, uncovering her eyes. Before them was a long, narrow stretch of exposed ground, a smooth canvas of untrodden snow that glistened where the bright moonlight hit it. The trees and evergreens surrounding were laced with a delicate layer of white. Even as Bella looked, a soft snow began to fall.

"Oh!" Bella said, moved. It was incredible to see snow falling while the moon was out. The clouds were sporadically positioned in the sky, allowing for the moon to shine. It was not unlike late spring when the sun is shining and there's a sudden rainsquall. This must be the winter moonlight equivalent. It was rather magical.

"Alice was right, I seemed to have timed the weather perfectly," Carlisle said from beside her with a surprised laugh. The night's light cast a muted silver glow over his golden hair and porcelain features. "I thought to take you here when I noticed how bright the moon was on my way home tonight."

"It's beautiful. And peaceful."

"Yes, it is, isn't it? Consider this my first Christmas gift to you."

"First?" Bella laughed. "But you are right, this is a gift." She leaned into him, relaxing as she gazed out over the moonlit winter landscape. Carlisle wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Comfortable with how well Carlisle understood her, Bella allowed herself the contentment she drew from the surrounding scene.

The stillness was beautiful. The moon was so bright that it felt less like the middle of the night and more like twilight. As Bella's eyes adjusted, she could pick out individual branches on an evergreen clear across the cottony field.

"Christmas came upon us so quickly this year," Bella said after a moment.

"Yes. Edward and Rosalie will be arriving tomorrow."

"It'll be good to see them again."

Neither of them mentioned why it had been so long since Bella had seen them. Bella couldn't help but reflect that it was her own fault. She shouldn't have let the murkiness keep her down so long. Bella smiled when she felt a reassuring squeeze on her shoulder and the tightening of Carlisle's arm, and she ceased the mental self-flagellation. Grateful, she tilted her head against him. They remained quiet, enjoying the serenity when the loud crack of a falling tree branch made Bella jump.

"Probably a branch that couldn't take much more weight from the snow," Carlisle explained with amusement coloring his voice.

"Mmm-hmm." She had reached the same conclusion herself. Bella turned to look at Carlisle and laughed at the sight of him. "Look who's talking!"

Unlike Bella, there was no warmth coming off Carlisle to make the flakes melt. His head and shoulders were collecting snow. Laughingly, Bella brushed him off. "Judging by you, I can measure that we've already received about a quarter of an inch."

"Cute," Carlisle retorted, brushing off his other shoulder.

Bella merely grinned and looked back at her surroundings. She closed her eyes, breathing in deep before letting out a contented sigh. It felt good, and with Carlisle by her side, it was easy to simply give herself over to the joy of the season.

The sudden grin on her face did not go unnoticed by Carlisle. "Care to share your thoughts?"

"I'm remembering a Christmas I spent in Forks visiting my father. He'd put a big red bow on this pine tree beside the driveway. It looked awkward, until we got a light dusting of snow. Then it was beautiful." Bella opened her eyes and smiled at Carlisle. "Being here right now makes me feel . . . I don't know, young again. Well, younger," she modified. "It's like something inside me remembers a sort of happiness and purity. And my mind associates it with Christmas, though that's not it entirely."

Bella gave a self-conscious laugh. "Listen to me. You're probably the only person in the world I'd feel comfortable talking like this in front of."

Carlisle smiled at her somewhat ruefully. "You know, I envy you a little."

"What? Why?" Bella looked at him with wide eyes.

"You were able to grow up at a time when, culturally, Christmas had taken on the best possible meaning."

"'A big commercial racket'?" Bella quoted the cartoon classic with half-seriousness.

Carlisle tweaked a lock of her brown hair. "I just listened to you wax sentimental, Bella. Can't I respond without you teasing?"

"Sorry," Bella answered fairly, and brushed Carlisle off a little more. The tips of her fingers were beginning to chill under the Thinsulate gloves.

"I was seven years old when Christmas became banned in England. Prior to that it was a time of drunken revelry, sporting, hedonistic eating and masque balls. I was changed only a couple of years after the ban was lifted, maybe three."

Bella listened with rapt attention. She'd known that traditions changed over time; it was only natural. Somehow, though, it had never occurred to her before that Carlisle was witness to the evolution. Bella felt a little tug inside her. There was so much about this man that she just hadn't opened her eyes to, so much more that she wanted to get to know.

"I wasn't exactly focused on cultural holidays those first years, but celebrations did seem to fall to the wayside. I had been a vampire for over 160 years when perceptions and meanings around Christmas began to change. It became more centered on not only Christ's birth, but Christ's teaching as well. It became about good will and compassion. And family."

Carlisle paused briefly, still twirling her hair in his fingers. "I already held strong to the values of good will and compassion. It was another hundred years before I had a family."

"Christmas must mean a lot to you." Bella took in his appearance, from his moonlit blond hair to his whiskey eyes and pale face. She was seeing yet another layer of him that she never suspected was there.

"It does mean very much to me. It also makes me thankful that I have so many people I care about in my life." He smiled at her. "That missing element that you couldn't describe a minute ago, Bella, is caring. Family, goodwill, compassion: Christmas is love." Carlisle let go of her hair. The lock fell back to her shoulder, and Carlisle lightly stroked the part of her coat where it rested.

Love. Bella smiled as a new memory came to her. "I think that's what Charlie believes. He doesn't talk about things like that, but I know. Once he mailed a fairly ugly Christmas card to Phoenix. It had a poorly drawn Santa flying solo above a bunch of homes. The colors were garish, and even Mom didn't like it. Being the thoughtless kid I was, I asked him why he chose such an ugly card.

"'Because it says Christmas is love, Bella,' he answered me. I looked at the card again and noticed that the Santa was dropping little hearts across the town."

Carlisle smiled at her. "That's a nice story about Chief Swan. Though it's hard to imagine you as being thoughtless and unobservant, Bella."

Bella shrugged slightly. "I was about eight at the time. Cut me some slack for youth, Carlisle."

Carlisle chuckled softly, and then his hand grasped hers. "Look."

Bella looked where Carlisle pointed. At first she didn't notice a thing, but after a second she saw it. A large bird flew over the trees to their left. As it soared back and forth Bella thought she caught a flash of white.

"Is that a bald eagle?"

Carlisle nodded.

"Wow, I didn't know that there were bald eagles in Vermont."

"There usually aren't."

Her eyes remained on the majestic bird until it was out of sight. The moon was dominant in the sky again. The clearing took on a blue-white hue and had a soft, quilt-like appearance. The awe, the beauty, the magic of it all caused Bella's emotions to swell. Giddy with it, she laughed. "I have this urge to run out into the middle of the field and make a big snow angel, but I hate to ruin it with my footprints."

Carlisle laughed, pleased to see the happy excitement beaming off her face. "Are you asking me to run you out there?"

"Actually, I hadn't thought of that, but would you? Please?"

Carlisle's mouth quirked up at the corner and he feigned a stern tone. "Technically, Bella, I shouldn't. Leaving a mysterious imprint in the middle of the field would hardly help staying under the radar."

"Then don't. Just drop me, and I'll make the imprint." Her logic was flawed, but that wasn't the point. Mischievous, she grabbed the front of Carlisle's coat and hoisted her legs up sideways. Carlisle had no choice but to catch her. "It's Christmas, Carlisle. Indulge me."

Shaking his head, causing the last of the light flakes to fall off of it, Carlisle held Bella closer to him as he lightly sprung out into the field. "Have I ever said no to you?"

And he dropped her.

Alone, Bella landed with a soft crunch of impressed snow. Grinning madly, she spread-eagled her arms and legs, back and forth. "I haven't done this in years!"

"Then I'd say it was about time." Carlisle returned to the spot that he'd dropped her and swept her up again, leaving no immediate print behind in his speed, though a footfall or two could be detected about seventeen feet away. "Can you see it behind us?"

"No," Bella sighed. "Thanks, though. I wasn't quite done, however."

"In that case…" Carlisle engaged in his own mischief. Bella suddenly found herself on her back, dropped so that she landed within the older layers underneath the recent fall. Snow rose around her on all sides and she sputtered.

"Use a little less strength next time, huh?" She playfully tossed a handful of flakes at him as she tried to push herself up. When Carlisle offered his hand to help, she put her own in his — then gave it a little tug, knowing she couldn't possibly cause him to lose his balance. Yet Carlisle allowed it, and fell beside her, laughing as she shrieked and turned her head away from the upward spray. Eyes shining, Bella faced Carlisle again.

And their lips met.

Who moved first, neither one was certain. It was unexpected for both of them, a moment neither had planned nor even considered before. A kiss was simply the most natural thing to do, and they both did it without thinking. And still not thinking, neither stopped.

Somehow Carlisle was no longer beside Bella, but above her. Their bodies pressed together as their lips continued to touch, never breaking contact. Bella's mouth opened: a soft giving, and then pressed against his: a gentle taking, exploring the smooth coolness. Carlisle tasted her lips, taking in their warmth and sweetness. Gently, softly, going in for more.

A southeasterly wind picked up, blowing loose snow in a swirl. It flew up from the ground, curving around the evergreens, then down again toward the almost immaculate blanket of snow. Light from the full moon brightened the joyfully dancing flakes, even as it shone down to give light to the couple that, for once, were oblivious to all but themselves.

Bella needed to breathe, and she inhaled deeply, bringing reality back into the moment. Their mouths separated and, still close, they simply looked at each other, amazed. Bella lay underneath Carlisle, her face just a breadth away from his. It would take only the slightest movement from either one of them, and they would be kissing again.

"Carlisle?" Her breath flowed over his lips.

"Yes?"

Her heart was pounding.

"I'm cold."

Carlisle blinked in surprise, and she laughed. A returned awareness of their surroundings made it easy to see why she'd blurted out those words. The temperature was decidedly below freezing and Bella had snow beneath her, on either side of her, and a vampire on top of her. Carlisle was quickly upright and pulling her to her feet. He helped to brush her off — both of them purely business — and without any words they were on their way, leaving the clearing behind them.

Though neither had spoken, Carlisle and Bella were both having the same awakening thought:

_I think I've wanted that for a long time._

* * *

**A/N: Please Read**

**For those who are not aware, "Moonlit" is actually the backstory to a Christmas one-shot I wrote in December 2009 called "Moonlit December." Hastily written and meant to reflect that Christmas is about love, it depicts a little Christmas magic helping two friends suddenly realize that there's something more there****.**** I have done my best to remain true to this little one-shot as I wrote "Moonlit," including the incredibly binding line "a moment neither one of them had planned or even thought of before."**

**"Moonlit" is far more involved, and therefore has evolved beyond the one-shot. While the dialogue remains the same, I've taken the liberty to expand on the narration as I fit the o/s into "Moonlit" as a chapter. God help me, I hope I did a decent job.**

**This chapter has a banner, made on request by AllTheOtherNamesAreUsed (talk about beta extraordinaire). Follow this link: stormdragonfly . blogspot 2012 / 02 / banner-for-moonlit-december-by . html**

**Many thanks to all of you for your support of me, and this story!**

**Next Chapter… I bet you can guess ;)**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: You might want to skim the previous chapter before reading the update. I know it's been awhile.**

**To anyone that's asked via review or PM, or has been paying attention on Twitter and ADF, I've made it known that I did not intend to post again until chapters 29, 30 and 31 were complete. Then I would post one a week. There is a lot going on in the not-yet-complete Chapter 30, and today I decided that it was best to split it into two chapters. Which means suddenly that Chapter 30's first draft is done. So here I am posting with 29 complete and 30 almost complete. With any luck, I actually _will_ be able to post one a week through chapter 32. But it does feel a little like counting chickens...**

**Many thanks to "Moonlit" readers, and my wonderful Twific ladies. You've all been so awesome to me these last months. **

* * *

~*~ Chapter Twenty-Nine ~*~

Bella and Carlisle still hadn't spoken a word by the time they'd reached the house. Neither of them knew quite what to say as neither of them knew quite what to think. Everything had just been shaken up, and they each needed time to sort out their feelings. Both were aware that there was one other person they hadn't considered while they were caught up in the moment.

Only the ladies were in the living room, and rather than feeling festive as it had an hour earlier, the atmosphere was now more restful. Maggie and Esme were sharing the loveseat and reading. Maggie's legs were folded in as she leaned her head against Esme. Alice was reading, too. As Carlisle and Bella removed their coats and scarves she glanced up at them. Carlisle, in turn, observed that Vilhelm Moberg was not Alice's usual taste in literature.

"You two are quiet," Alice noted, turning a page in her book that she had not actually read.

"Oh, um, I'm just tired," Bella answered, shucking her boots off her feet.

"I hope it wasn't too cold for you." Esme lowered her book. "Did you have fun?"

"Yes, what did you two do?" Maggie asked.

Bella blushed and kept her face turned down, while Carlisle gave a simple answer. "I brought her out to Tilden Field."

"Yes," Bella added, trying not to look at Carlisle. "It was snowing, and the moon was out."

"It's a full moon tonight." Alice smiled.

"Why, Bella, your heart is racing. Is everything alright?" Esme put a mask of concern on her face.

Maggie tilted her head at Bella as if just observing this, and then she changed the direction of her gaze. "Is she alright, Carlisle? Did something happen?"

"I'm fine. Really," Bella protested, finally facing the living room. "I'm just tired."

"You're tired and you have an elevated heart rate?" Maggie raised an eyebrow. "Carlisle, perhaps you should take Bella upstairs and give her a closer look."

"No," Carlisle and Bella said at once.

Upstairs, Jasper mentally rolled his eyes, glad that he'd excused himself from being a part of this scene.

"That's not necessary," Carlisle continued, speaking quite normally. He put his hand on Bella's back. "If Bella is tired, then I'm sure we can let her retire to her room where she can rest and…" He awkwardly and abruptly dropped his hand. "…warm up."

"I just want to go to bed." Bella's gaze darted everywhere, making eye contact with no one. "Alone. Thank you, Maggie. Goodnight, everyone." She turned and rushed as slowly as she could up the stairs.

Carlisle remained where he was, studying each of the women. None of them had returned to their books, and Carlisle was quite certain that Jasper was actually the one who'd been reading the Swedish history book in Alice's hands. Making eye contact, he found Alice arching an eyebrow at him. "Am I missing something?" he asked.

"Not anymore, Carlisle," Maggie answered. All three women faced him, blinking a false innocence. Carlisle started to speak, hesitated, then silently turned and went up to his office. After the departure of the two confused lovers, there was some winking and snickering in the living room.

(~*~)

Bella wasn't sure how much time had passed while she lay awake in her bed. An hour? More? She started to look at her clock, but then didn't want to. The time didn't matter. She couldn't sleep until she'd figured this out.

Something had happened tonight. Something irreversible. Only Bella was fairly certain that she didn't want to have it taken back. She didn't want to forget that she had kissed Carlisle. That Carlisle had kissed her. Her heartbeat quickened and slowed, only to quicken again as her thoughts took her in multiple directions. Bella had to get herself under control.

She had kissed Carlisle. Fact. Okay. So what? She'd kissed Carlisle plenty of times before. Never on the lips, though. Never like that. Her body recalled the feeling of him on top of her, solid strength capable of breaking her like a twig, yet so tender. He was always tender with her, affectionate.

_Wait. Stop. Go back._

She'd kissed Carlisle. Fact.

Bella wasn't free to kiss Carlisle. Bella was in a relationship with Matt. Facts.

Her stomach churned unpleasantly. She cared about Matt a great deal. He had been her first everything, just about. Her first boyfriend, her first lover, her first…

Bella had always been close to Carlisle, from the moment she'd nervously approached him in his office to confess her knowledge of his secret. Carlisle was the one to comfort her when she was scared of Edward, the one she'd finally been able to open up to about being attacked in Port Angeles. Bella poured her heart out to Carlisle about everything — violence, law, books, classes, friends, Matt.

Matt. Bella bit her bottom lip. Matt was four hours away right now, probably sound asleep. He'd likely be curled on his side, one leg bent at the knee. He'd only be wearing boxers, and the blankets would have fallen to his waist. Bella could picture the triangle of moles on his back, a spot she often stroked.

Bella's heart sped up again as she pictured Matt, lying in bed alone. A small gasp came out of her, the opening of a sob. "Matt," she said softly.

She'd kissed Carlisle. Bella scrunched her eyes shut, her fists coming up to her forehead. It was unlike any previous time they'd ever touched, and they'd touched a lot. My goodness, how much had she and Carlisle been touching each other over the years? It had never seemed to her before now like anything other than natural physical contact with a close friend. A cuddle or casual physical play between herself and Carlisle was simply the way they did things.

Bella raked her hands through her hair, over her face — and remembered what it had felt like to go three months without touching Carlisle. It was like a piece of her had been missing. Bella needed to always be touching Carlisle.

So what did that say?

Bella turned on her side, and then flipped onto her back again.

Every touch she and Carlisle had shared had always been platonic, a friendly love. Yet nothing had been platonic about the way they'd kissed each other tonight. It was an extension of every feeling that had ever coursed through her before: comfort, affection, lust.

Bella had felt lust for Carlisle before. It was the day the family had made fun of her conversation with Carlisle about language. Carlisle had joined in on the game, and when she'd heard him speak his original English, Bella had wanted to jump his bones.

Of course, she hadn't realized then what she'd been feeling. In retrospect, it was quite clear. She'd been sexually attracted to Carlisle, as far back as then — and she still was. It wasn't just a vampire lure. For instance, she didn't feel that way about Jasper or Maggie. This _feeling_, this feeling inside her now trumped anything she'd even temporarily felt with Edward that day in the meadow. It was so much more than sexual attraction when it came to Carlisle. It was friendship, understanding, communion, connection…

Bella's heart was still beating fast, and her breathing came in short little breaths.

No, there'd been nothing platonic about kissing Carlisle tonight.

How did Carlisle feel? He had moved over her, pressed his body to hers. If she hadn't known from the way he kissed her that there was something more on Carlisle's end in that moment, the memory of what she'd felt against her abdomen was very clear. Bella almost let out a moan. The mere thought of Carlisle's erection and Bella just wanted to . . . help him with it. In every way.

It wasn't her place. She was with Matt. Carlisle's sex life couldn't have anything to do with her.

Bella suddenly felt both sick and angry at the thought of someone else being physical with Carlisle.

But Carlisle hadn't been with anyone since… well, Bella didn't know an exact date. Nearly a century, maybe even a whole century. Carlisle was the only one taking care of his needs.

Now _that_ was something she hadn't considered before. Bella wondered when he found opportunity to do it, and when he did, what he thought about. Had Carlisle ever sat behind his desk and undone his belt, loosened his pants, pulled out his cock and stroked himself, all while imagining being with her?

_Good god, what am I thinking?_ Face red and heart pounding, Bella turned over and after a quick, flattening punch, buried her face in her pillow.

(~*~)

Carlisle listened to Bella toss and turn in her room, and lowered his head to his desk. This was completely his fault. He'd followed an impulse and kissed Bella. Kissed her, when she belonged to another. It was no wonder that she was restless and fretful – all due to him.

It was out of line, what he'd done. Matt didn't deserve the disrespect Carlisle's actions had demonstrated. If Bella were his, Carlisle wouldn't want another man kissing her in the middle of the night. His guilt increased because even now the thought of Bella in Matt's arms made Carlisle jealous and angry.

He wanted Bella to be his. Slowly, Carlisle raised his head. He loved her. He'd always loved her. Why hadn't he seen it before? Bella had intrigued him from the first, and quickly had become to matter to him as much as those closest to him. When she was gone, her absence had mattered more to him than the presence of the rest of his family, even when Edward and Rosalie had come for Thanksgiving.

The first time Carlisle had seen Bella he hadn't known what he was in for. She had been on his mind consistently since. He had, after all, looked up the medical records that revealed her once very accident-prone nature, and wondered when she'd come in again. And from the time he'd started worrying she had a crush, she'd been on his mind every day. He'd gone from that to worrying about her safety once he realized she'd known the truth. He thought about her all the time. The near-fatal encounter in Port Angeles, Rosalie's machinations, the prom with Edward — another jealous twinge at the thought — moving to Vermont, her relationship with Matt.

The stark reminder of the reality made Carlisle droop back over his desk. Bella belonged to another. What should he do? Was there any chance that she wanted him? Bella had most certainly kissed him back. Maybe she regrets that now? Listening to her fretful lack of rest, Carlisle had to acknowledge that she certainly didn't seem happy at the moment. Then again, neither was he, and he was quite certain that he had just kissed the love of his life.

For Carlisle could see very clearly now that Bella was indeed the love he wanted and had been waiting for. He couldn't even imagine being with anyone else. She was everything he'd ever wanted in a woman: intelligent, moral, selfless, beautiful. Her interests ran parallel to his, and he'd never wanted for a topic whenever they'd conversed together. Her growing maturity, the increasing knowledge in her eyes, their comfortable banter and touches, he'd savored all of it.

No, there was no other for him.

And just hours ago, under the moonlight, she'd been in his arms, under his mouth.

Was Bella willing to leave Matt? Was she ready to? If she was not, Carlisle would be here, and he most definitely was not going anywhere. He would wait for Bella no matter how long it took. She was meant to be his, because he would think of no other, love no other until the day God chose to take him away from this Earth.

(~*~)

Bella lay on her back again, took a slow, deep breath and closed her eyes. She needed to focus on her heart, which was feeling very full at the moment. Overflowing, even, and not in the good "my cup runneth over" kind of way. She felt too much and inside she was being pulled too many ways – but with one definite direction if she could make herself understand it. The emotions were confusing, rolling inside, outside and around one another.

She loved Matt. She didn't treat his presence in her life casually. For two years she'd shared herself with him, experienced life with him.

Yet she could say the same about Carlisle — to a point. She'd never shared herself physically with Carlisle. Though, revisiting her thoughts on how often they'd touched each other, Bella could see that she had, in a way.

Damn it, why was she getting so confused? Tension had built a mountain in her chest, formed from all the emotions that were churning inside her. She was both excited and unhappy. She loved two men.

She was only in love with one of them.

The personal insight finally came through.

She had to go. There was only one thing to do, and it needed to be done as soon as possible, face-to-face, whatever happened afterward. Bella slipped out of bed and got dressed. She would get breakfast on the road. The house was quiet as Bella went down the stairs, everyone seeking privacy in their own spaces. At the door, Bella put on her boots, wrapped the scarf around her neck. She grabbed her coat and managed to get one sleeve on before a voice stopped her.

"Bella?"

Slowly she turned around and saw Carlisle at the foot of the stairs. God, he looked gorgeous. Inside or out, there wasn't a more beautiful man in existence. Bella almost couldn't believe that just hours ago those lips had been on hers. His eyes were on her, taking in what she was doing and his expression was… wary?

Bella wanted to tell him everything, but she couldn't because she owed Matt more than that. It wasn't right, and whatever words she needed to say had to be said to Matt first. Slowly, she finished putting on her coat. "I need to see Matt."

"I see."

_Do you, Carlisle? Do you have any inkling of what I feel? And what do you feel? Was it only an aberration after being alone so long?_ She didn't voice any of the questions. Bella only nodded and grabbed her purse.

"Be careful driving, please, Bella. If you get tired, pull over. I understand why you need to leave right now, but you hardly slept and it's early."

"I'll be careful." Looking at the wall — she couldn't look at him again or she might not be able to go — Bella took her wool cap out of her pocket and put it on. As she reached for the handle, she turned her head but still didn't look back at him. "Goodbye."

"Goodbye," Carlisle answered, and there was unmistakable sadness in his voice.

_Oh no._ Did he think that she was _leaving_? That she was going _to_ Matt?

Bella's purse dropped to the floor with a loud thud as she turned around. Almost running, she strode quickly toward Carlisle, surprise registering briefly on his face before she put her hands on his shoulders and leapt up. Wrapping her legs around his waist, Bella grabbed his hair and kissed Carlisle with everything that she was worth.

His hands automatically came up to her butt to support her, and there was no hesitation in kissing her back. His lips were cool, but it didn't matter; she'd expected them to be, knew them to be. She intended to know everything about them very well, and more. Carlisle was kissing her back and soon his tongue was stroking her bottom lip. It made Bella want to groan and sink into him, but instead she pulled back. Carefully, she unwound herself from around him and regained her footing.

"I'll be back tonight," she whispered. In one motion she grabbed her purse, and ran out the door.

Carlisle watched her leave, full of fire and hope.

(~*~)

Nearly fours hours later Bella was still driving down I-91 and trying to anticipate Matt's reaction. Discomfort was permanently lodged in her gut with what she was about to do. She truly did not want to hurt him. Would he get angry? Matt had just told her last week that he was sometimes jealous of Carlisle. Wait – what? Unbidden, comments that Matt had made about Carlisle flowed readily through her mind.

_As long as I'm still the one you love the most._

_I know what your feelings for Carlisle are._

_ He's more important to you than I am._

Bella felt tears building up and she pulled over. Matt knew. Jesus, Jesus, how long had he known something that even she hadn't? How was she supposed to go to him now and tell him? It wasn't going to be easy anyway, but now… What was Matt going to think? Did he think she'd been running around behind his back? She hadn't been. Last night's kiss was the first and she was going to tell him about it. Then there was the kiss as she left the house. Should she tell him about that, too? What, dig the knife in a little further?

Wait. Maybe she was just imagining things, reading too much into the memories of what Matt had said. The thought might have calmed her, but she didn't believe it. It didn't matter. Bella was going to come clean. She loved Matt, but she loved Carlisle more.

Bella stayed in the breakdown lane for several minutes, breathing deep and gathering her courage.

(~*~)

Matt's family home was really an estate, with four stories in the main building and a 2000-square-foot guesthouse. The property was one of few left in the city that included more than 10 acres. She'd been to visit several times over the last two years, and had never failed to be intimidated by the wealth and history of Matt's family. Leaving her car parked in the cul-de-sac in front of the house, Bella knocked on the door. It was soon opened by the Dillinghams' long-time housekeeper, a stout woman with hair as gray as the uniform she wore.

"Hello, Mrs. Kelly," Bella greeted. "Is Matt in right now?" It didn't occur to her until this moment that he might be out of the house. What would she do then? Wait in the foyer until he returned? The idea was not a comfortable one. She couldn't enter his house as the welcome guest she'd always been. Not anymore.

"Bella!" Mrs. Kelly greeted with some surprise. "Yes, he's in."

"Bella?" Matt's voice came from inside the house, and soon he was at the door, too. "Come inside," he urged, stepping back. Mrs. Kelly had already walked away.

"Um," Bella stepped back herself. "Think you could come out here?"

"Out there?" he asked, puzzled. Then he saw her face, and Matt knew. The time had finally come, and he was about to lose Bella to Carlisle permanently.

A part of him wanted to yell. A part of him wanted to demand why she wasn't sticking with him, what had he ever done to fail her? But he knew that wasn't what it was about. It had nothing to do with whether or not Matt was good enough for her. There was an essential connection between Carlisle and Bella, the kind of thing that just _was_. He had been selfish to hang on to her so long, to try to win her heart when he knew that in the end, it belonged with someone else. He'd known he was setting himself up for this heartache. But he was only human. "Sure, Bella, just let me grab a coat."

Matt disappeared for less than a minute, and then he was outside with her. Bella watched him emerge from his house, and then she stared at her feet.

"So what are you doing here?" Matt broke the awkward silence. It was as good a way to start as any, even if he already knew the answer.

"I need to talk to you."

Matt waited.

"The thing is, I…" Bella swallowed. "I don't know how to start this conversation."

"Carlisle," Matt said.

Bella finally met his gaze, and they both had pain in their eyes.

"I kissed him last night. I didn't plan it; he didn't plan it. It just happened."

Matt closed his eyes. _Fine. Whatever. _He didn't like it, but it didn't change where things were going. "And then what, you two had a nice long make-out?" The words were out before he realized he was saying them.

"No!" Bella protested. "I haven't… I came to talk to you first."

"Bella," Matt sighed, regretting his slight outburst. "I'm sorry, that was harsh."

"You don't need to apologize to me." Bella was looking at her feet again.

"Bella… you…" He licked his lips. "You need to do what you feel is best. I can't stop you from that. I won't, because I want you to be happy."

"Matt. I honestly do love you. I… tried."

"You love him more."

"Yes." Bella felt as though she was going to cry again. She didn't want to do this to Matt, but there was no other choice.

"I've tried, too, Bella. Was there anything I could have done differently? No, wait." Matt put out his hand and shook his head when Bella's mouth dropped open. "Don't answer that."

Bella answered anyway. "You've done everything right, Matt. You've been amazing and wonderful. It's just…"

"Yeah," Matt said when Bella trailed off. "That one you don't need to finish." Matt let out a big sigh, and even though it was slow, his breath still hitched. "I hope Carlisle will make you the happiest you've ever been, Bella. Anything less, and I will gut him."

Bella let out a reluctant cough of laughter. The idea was absurd, but Bella appreciated the emotion behind it. "Thank you."

Matt said nothing. Really, there was nothing left to be said. Bella stepped forward to give him a hug, but hesitated. Matt, in turn, raised his hands to receive her, but also hesitated. Then he hugged her, sincerely and gently. Bella pulled back with a sad smile.

"Take care of yourself, Bella."

"You, too, Matt. And…" Bella started to say something else, but then changed her mind, regret and sadness in her eyes. Matt had the feeling he knew the two words she'd been about to use, and was glad she didn't, no matter how sincerely she may have meant them.

He stood watching as she walked away, got into her car. When she was gone, he kicked the snow, scattering flaky chunks across the edge of the cul-de-sac. "Merry fucking Christmas," he muttered to himself.

(~*~)

"Although it's been said, many times, many ways, Merry Christmas to you." Edward finished the note in time with the piano. Everyone clapped, even Rosalie, though Carlisle only joined in at the last. The distraction wasn't working. Carlisle was wearing a rut into the floor.

"Carlisle," Edward said rather than continuing on to a new song. "Sit down before I'm forced to pin you down myself."

"Ha! Like you could," Maggie laughed.

Edward frowned at Maggie. "Yes, I could."

"Sure, he could," Carlisle said absently. He'd stopped moving, but then didn't seem to know what to do with his hands. By his sides felt awkward, clasped behind him made him want to pace again, so he shoved them into his pockets.

"Carlisle," Esme came up behind him and ran her hands over his shoulders. "Calm down. Bella will be back soon."

Carlisle turned to look at Esme, and then he glanced around the room. Everyone was giving him patient to less-than-patient smiles. "Am I being that obvious?"

Esme laughed a little. "Everyone here knows and loves you well."

"And some of us have a distinct advantage," Edward added, looking at Alice and Jasper.

Carlisle didn't know what to think. It seemed his whole family had been aware of what was happening between himself and Bella even though he had not known it. Had Bella been aware? Had she seen that he'd been in love with her and tried to keep her distance? No, that didn't make sense with what had happened last night or this morning.

Edward played a few notes on the piano. There was a pause before he selected a new tune, "Go Tell It On the Mountain." Alice joined in on the singing.

With Esme at his side, Carlisle considered asking what she thought about the situation, changing the family dynamic with Bella. But he didn't want to know just now. It was tempting to ask the family what they thought about what was in his heart, but first Carlisle needed to know what was in Bella's, and where things would go from here. All he wanted was for Bella to return home so that he could talk with her. Could he even contain himself, knowing what he felt, remembering the way she'd felt in his arms this morning? Even then, they shouldn't have kissed again, but Carlisle would not have traded that moment for the world. He'd spent the day in pleasurable anticipation because of it, rather than in sadness and angst. There'd already been enough of that between himself and Bella the last few months, and now it was time to move on to something better. So much better. It was time to —

Carlisle's head turned when he heard the sound of a car coming up the long driveway. The engine was that of Bella's Toyota. "Go meet…" Maggie began, but Carlisle was already out the door, "…her."

Edward stopped playing. Alice had already stopped singing. "We've got a little time," she said calmly, but the gleam of anticipation was clear in her face.

Maggie got to her feet. "So what? Let's get started."

(~*~)

Carlisle was standing in the garage, waiting for her. His hands were shoved into his front pockets, and he looked nervous and adorable. Carlisle, waiting and nervous. It was unusual to see him that way, but it was still essentially _Carlisle. _Bella just wanted to kiss him all over.

She pulled up alongside him; he was standing by the passenger side of the hood when she parked the car. Bella wanted to check herself in the mirror, but there was no way she could do that in front of Carlisle. She hoped her hair wasn't all askew, or her clothes too frumpy. It struck her as silly to care – Carlisle had seen her at her frumpiest, first thing in the morning when she not only looked untidy but probably smelled unpleasant.

Bella wondered if she could find a way to discreetly breathe into her hand to check her breath. As if there was such a thing as discreet in front of a vampire. Taking a deep breath to steel her nerves, Bella got out of the car smoothing down her peacoat.

"I guess we need to talk, huh?"

"Bella, I…" Carlisle began then stopped. This was ridiculous. He'd been waiting all day for her return. Now that she was here, he was tongue-tied. "I don't know where to begin."

Bella didn't either. So she just blurted out the first stupid question to pop into her head. "Why did you kiss me?"

_Dumb question. You know the answer to that already. It's the same answer as yours._

"Because I couldn't help myself." Bella stood in front of him, her body slim and taut, her hair in curls at her shoulders. She looked so lovely that he wondered how he had ever been able to help himself before. "Why did you kiss me this morning?"

Bella eased closer, drawn in. "Because I wanted to take away the sadness I heard in your voice." _And to let you know… _"I'm no longer seeing Matt."

Carlisle closed his eyes and swallowed. He let the emotion and promise in her voice surround him, as the enhanced tangibility of her sweet, delicious scent was already doing. He could sense her nearing, and everything he'd wanted for so long, what had been right before him for years, was almost within his grasp. "Why?" He needed Bella to speak the words.

"There's someone else I love more." It was easy to say, but Bella felt weak inside. Nerves of steel were actually nerves of gelatin. Yet she surged forward, putting her feelings out there. "Someone who has always been there, but I've been too blind to see it. Until he took me out in the snow and kissed me under the moonlight." Bella kept moving slowly closer, and she put her hand on his cheek. His eyes still closed, Carlisle immediately covered it with his own. "And I felt for the first time as though I had everything I ever wanted or could need. Carlisle, I…" Bella's voice finally trembled.

"Bella." Carlisle opened his eyes and Bella saw in them everything she felt inside. Love, hope, passion. Intensity and eagerness. "For as long as you want me, I am yours."

"I'll want you forever," she breathed.

Once again they moved as one into a kiss. Passion was there, but overridden by the joy of the moment. They broke apart and kissed again, laughing, a happy tear sliding down Bella's cheek. Carlisle kissed it away and held her close.

"I can't even begin to say when I started loving you. I've been so blind."

"No more so than me." Bella was still laughing. "I think I've wanted you since I was a teenager."

"I think _I've_ wanted _you_ since you were a teenager."

"I can't imagine you ever not being in my life."

"Same here."

"Are you going to just echo everything I say?"

"Oh, there's still plenty more to say, but at this moment we are both perfectly in sync."

"I'd say perfect just about covers it." Eyes shining, Bella gave him another kiss. It was slow and sweet, and their laughter abated in the tenderness of it. Carlisle eased back slowly.

"How about we go inside?" he said, and offered Bella his arm. Bella took it and leaned into him as they walked to the house. She couldn't believe how happy she felt. Her cheeks were beginning to hurt from smiling so much, but she just couldn't stop. She enjoyed the feel of Carlisle's shirt under her fingertips, his hard strength under the shirt. At his side was exactly where she belonged.

Carlisle and Bella walked in and were greeted with a loud cheer and applause. Every single member of the Cullen family was giving a standing ovation. There were even a few catcalls thrown in. The living room had been decorated for a party, and the most prominent addition was a banner hanging from the ceiling. In large block letters it read: FINALLY!

Bella laughed and blushed, burying her face for a moment against Carlisle's shoulder. Carlisle's hand came up and tightened over the one she had on his arm. She lifted her face to look up at him.

"Feel like celebrating?" he asked, a twinkle in his eye.

"Hell yes."

(~*~)

Alice was very pleased that the party was still going strong an hour later. Everyone was having fun being loud and raucous and teasing the guests of honor. The romantic union between Carlisle and Bella had been so long in coming. Alice was so happy that they were finally—

Alice blinked. Her eyes glazed over and her mouth fell slightly open. She blinked again and shook her head, but the images kept coming. With a small gasp, Alice closed her eyes. She gave another shake of her head in an attempt to dispel the montage of sensuality her ability was revealing to her. "Okay, I get the idea," she said under her breath and steeled her shoulders.

"Alice, are you…" Jasper said so that only she could hear but didn't finish. He could feel what was happening, the reaction in her body.

Alice looked at him, not completely focused yet clearly trying to break free of what she was seeing. "They're…" Alice's quiet whisper was a little breathy. "I've never had people I keep a close watch on become a new couple before. It's…" Alice blinked and shook her head again.

This time it worked. When Alice's eyes focused on his, something altogether different was clouding them. Lust encircling them, Jasper knew what would be coming next, and when she grabbed him for some privacy, he was more than willing.

Alice made a mental note to loosen the watch her vision had on Carlisle and Bella.


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: ****Thanks for coming back!**

**Chapter 31 will not be ready by next Monday, due to the major holiday weekend here in the U.S. Hopefully I will be able to update two Mondays from now. 11/30/12: Next chapter won't be ready by then. Will update as soon as possible. 2/10/13 Slow and steady wins the race?**

**AllTheOtherNamesAreUsed has beta'd this with pinache, patience, and research. Credit to her goes Esme's first schooling, as she used it in her own story "Prelude in C" and was happy to share it with me. BookwormBaby2580 held my hand through a lot of this. I'd never make it through without you girls! **

* * *

~*~ Chapter Thirty ~*~

"_Bella_." Stretched out beside her in the bed, Carlisle kissed her hair, her temple, the flesh in front of her ear. "Bella," he said again, ever so softly.

"Mmm," was the sleepy response.

"I need to leave."

"Mmm?" Bella opened her eyes. The first thing she was aware of was that she was in Carlisle's arms. He was looking at her with so much love. She was smiling before she realized it. It was unbelievable to feel so happy. As the party had continued last night Bella hadn't been able to keep up with the energy of her supernatural family, and when her eyelids continued to droop, Carlisle had carried her upstairs. Waking up in Carlisle's arms was better than any other feeling in the world. And she knew, _knew_, that it was love. Bella nuzzled closer to his hard chest, looking for a comfortable place to rest her head.

"My shift is starting soon. I need to go," Carlisle said again.

"Go?" Bella repeated, disappointed as the reality of his words broke through her morning haze. Somehow, naively, she'd pictured being able to spend the next several days with Carlisle uninterrupted. Or, at the very least, today.

"I know." Carlisle pressed his lips to the top of her head. "I don't wish to go, but I can't find someone to cover my shift. Perhaps I can get someone for the latter half."

"Oh, no." Bella groaned, the back of her hand coming up to her eyes as she rolled onto her back. "It's a 36 hour shift, isn't it?"

"Yes, but I will do my best to be home earlier than that."

"Mmm," was Bella's only response as she pulled him in for a too-brief goodbye kiss.

(~*~)

An hour and a half later, showered and refreshed, Bella walked into the kitchen with a bounce in her step. "Good morning," she sang to the ladies of the house.

"Good morning, lovebird," Maggie answered. She sat at one of the island stools and had one leg up on the stool next to her.

"Did you sleep well, Bella?" Esme asked, carefully mixing together a banana pancake batter.

Bella wondered if her grin looked foolish, but didn't care. "I can't remember the last time I slept so well."

"We certainly tired you out. I thought I'd make it up to you with breakfast."

Bella wanted to protest that Esme didn't have to, but she just didn't feel like going into the same circle of polite protest and gentle insistence that had been their habit whenever Esme or another member of the family took it into their head to cook for her. "That's kind of you, thanks."

Humming to herself, Bella went into the fridge and pulled out a pitcher of orange juice.

Esme put a cool hand on Bella's shoulder. "I am so happy to see you like this. You're just glowing."

"I have to admit, I kind of feel that way."

"I'm just glad that we're finally here," Maggie said, and then clarified. "No more guessing and pretending we haven't noticed anything."

"Oh," Bella winced and then laughed. "It is rather embarrassing that everyone noticed so much while I remained oblivious."

"You were supposed to be oblivious, to figure it out on your own," Alice added. "Otherwise how could it work out so well? I'm still somewhat angry with Maggie for what she said to you in the bistro just before we left Washington."

"What?" Bella turned to Maggie, wide-eyed. "What did you say?"

"To be completely truthful, I was not the one that started subtly poking at you about Carlisle." Maggie directed her thumb at the culprit. "Alice was."

"My remark was much more innocent than yours."

"Only because I had your joke about Carlisle's foot rub to set me up."

"Isn't it past time to stop arguing about that, you two?" Esme was a little exasperated. "The angry texts back and forth once we were on the road again were quite enough, thank you."

"Don't be so high and mighty, my dearest. You weren't above poking at Carlisle a time or two yourself," Maggie pointed out.

Bella crossed her arms over her chest and looked at the three women, open-mouthed. "You all have been having quite a lot of fun at our expense these last couple years, haven't you?"

"Yeah, well, you take your fun where you find it." Maggie was unrepentant.

"True," Esme said, presenting Bella with a plate of three perfectly golden pancakes.

At that moment, Rosalie entered the kitchen. "It's not all going to be fun and games from here."

Bella carefully swallowed the food in her mouth before responding. "What's wrong, Rosalie?"

"Nothing is wrong," Rosalie said, but there was too much grumpiness in her voice for Bella to believe her. The disbelieving silence that followed must have clued Rosalie in, because she gave Bella a smile and lightly touched the back of her hand. "Truly, I am happy for you and Carlisle. He's been alone for so long, and I hated seeing him so unhappy last month. I just have a concern."

"And that would be…?"

"You're human. He's not."

Relieved, Bella laughed. "Is that all? Because if you don't know that I'll readily become one of you, you should." Bella went back to eating Esme's pancakes.

"That's exactly what I was afraid you'd say. Bella, stay human."

Very slowly, Bella put down her fork and looked right at Rosalie, squarely meeting the fierce expression in her eyes. "No."

"Just think about it, Bella, don't decide right away," Rosalie said.

"I intend to be with Carlisle, and forever is a part of that."

"Which means that you have time to think it over, decide. Don't leap into this. I don't want to have to come home in a couple months and see you as a newborn. You're only 21, Bella. That's so young nowadays. Don't throw it away."

"I'm not throwing anything away. I'm embracing what I have, and there are natural consequences to that."

"There are natural consequences to becoming a vampire, too. You might not find them so pleasant to deal with."

"Rosalie," Esme interrupted, "she's just one year from finishing college. She's not about to ask Carlisle to change her tomorrow."

"Not to mention that Carlisle and Bella haven't even had time to discuss this themselves yet," Maggie put in. "You might want to back off from interfering this early in the game."

"Too late," Bella said. She'd definitely lost the happy smile she'd been wearing.

"Look," Rosalie addressed Bella again. "Maggie's right, I really shouldn't have said anything so soon. But since I have, just let me share briefly why I feel the way that I do, and we can table this argument for later."

Bella pursed her lips and then gave a nod. Alice and Maggie exchanged a look, but no one interrupted.

"I wanted to have children. I wanted to love a man and hoped from that love we'd make a miracle happen. I'd watch our sons and daughters grow, teach and guide them, show them how beautiful the world is. Instead my life is the opposite. I torment and kill, and I enjoy it. If I didn't have more self-control I'd enjoy doing far worse. Becoming a vampire took everything away from me that was good, and I can no longer love. It—"

She stopped. If Rosalie had been more human, she probably would have covered her mouth with her hand.

"Rosalie!" Esme was shocked.

"Are you trying to say that I'll stop loving Carlisle if I change? Because I can tell you for certain that won't happen." Bella was also a little dumbfounded. "Look at Alice and Jasper, Esme and Maggie."

Esme was clutching Maggie's hand. "How can you believe that love isn't possible after changing?"

"That's not what I meant." Rosalie was backing away from all of them, her face sad and guilty and a little horrified. "I didn't mean to say that." And she was gone.

No one in the kitchen said anything for a long minute or two. Breaking her focus away from the empty doorway Rosalie had just departed through, Bella turned to Alice. "Where are Jasper and Edward?"

"Out hunting. I believe Rosalie is now doing the same thing."

Reaching across the kitchen island, Maggie pushed Bella's plate toward her. "Eat. You'll feel better."

Bella discovered that Maggie was right, of course, even though she'd thought she'd lost her appetite. But her thoughts were now troubled. "Do any of you have a problem with me becoming like you?"

"No, Bella, not at all." Esme stroked a hand down her hair. "I've always rather believed it was just a matter of when, especially since I started noticing the connection between you and Carlisle."

"I haven't really thought about when," Bella admitted. "But I'm certain it's going to happen." Bella's eyes landed on Alice, a little bit of humor dancing in them.

"Just to be clear, I am not participating in this conversation." Alice's words were cheerful yet cautionary.

"What does that mean? Do you see something different?"

"Uh-uh. Nope. You and Carlisle discover things for yourselves. I will _not_ guide you."

"That was pretty much my point," Maggie said. "In my opinion none of us should be saying anything until Bella and Carlisle actually get to spend some time together. We've just been getting in the way so far."

"Oh, we're a family that cares about each other. We weren't interfering by having that party last night," Esme said.

"Of course not," Bella agreed. "That was fun."

"Until you fell asleep," Maggie pointed out. "Only to wake just before Carlisle had to leave."

"It's not anyone's fault he has to work."

"No, it isn't." Esme had put her arm around Bella. "Tell you what, why don't we go into Burlington and get some Christmas shopping done together?"

Bella smiled. "I'd like that. Alice?"

"Not me this time." Alice was looking out through the empty kitchen doorway.

"Oh, okay." Bella blinked at Alice and turned toward Maggie.

"You two have fun," she said to Bella and Esme.

(~*~)

Burlington was an hour's drive away, and most definitely one of the cultural centers of Vermont. Bella enjoyed the small city. Far more urban than Middlebury, it was situated on the shore of Lake Champlain and had the feel of both city and country. Once they arrived, she and Esme hit the University Mall first, where there was a watch repair shop that Esme particularly sought out. Afterward, they went to the Church Street Marketplace. Bella felt a moment of gratitude that Alice wasn't there to drag her into the — ha ha — Bella Boutique, as she had done last year. But then Bella ended up taking Esme there anyway. The two of them both preferred to support Fair Trade products, and Bella was able to find a dress for Alice in there.

It was cool outside, but not so cold that it made wandering the outdoor marketplace uncomfortable. The temperature made Bella think of being out in the snow with Carlisle. She'd sent him a text earlier letting him know she was thinking of him and missed him. Opening her phone, and for about the 37th time, she reread the response he'd immediately sent.

I miss you, too. I am thinking of you every minute. Still haven't found someone to take over my shift, but that doesn't mean I won't.

A new text came in from Carlisle as she read his old one, and Bella eagerly opened it. Her shoulders sagged.

"Carlisle isn't coming home yet, is he?" Esme guessed.

"No," Bella sighed, putting the phone away. "It's so weird. It's like he and I are on the cusp of something incredible and are frozen there, not able to move forward. I just want to be with him."

"I understand how you feel. When I realized that I was in love with Maggie, I just wanted to be with her. Only one conversation stood in our way."

Bella paused briefly before walking again. "How upset was he?"

"Carlisle was very gracious about it. I hated disappointing him, but I had to follow my heart."

"Yes. I know exactly what you mean."

They were quiet again as they resumed walking.

"Are you still enjoying Latin, Bella?"

"Oh, um… I don't know. I guess so. I'm still interested."

"But are you enjoying it? You've had a difficult fall term, and since you returned to the house, your pursuit has felt more rote than fun."

"It _was_ finals week, Esme."

"This is why I'm asking as opposed to just concluding. Is Latin your passion, Bella?"

"It's a focus. Words are my passion."

Esme nodded. "Good. Did you know that I have a degree in Early Childhood Education?"

"No," Bella answered, "well, I assumed you had some sort of documents to get you work as a substitute."

"I do, several in fact, some legitimate, some simply with adjusted dates. My first accreditation was in 1925 from The School of the Art Society of Hartford. I keep that with me. Going to school was beyond what I had ever thought to hope for. I always dreamed of more for myself, but hadn't thought it possible. I was scared, and that made it difficult. But I had both Carlisle and Maggie there to encourage me."

"Why were you scared?"

"It meant letting myself be more than I was, tapping into parts of me that hadn't been allowed the opportunity before." Esme tucked a strand of hair behind her ear that had come loose under her hat. Two men walking in the other direction looked over their shoulders at her as they kept on. "It made me believe in myself, which in turn made me a better sister, friend, and lover."

"Well, Esme, I do have to say, I think you're pretty awesome." Esme laughed and put an arm around Bella. It made Bella smile before she continued, "I'm going to guess where you're going with this. You want me to wait to become a vampire, too."

"Not necessarily. I did all this after I changed, after I fell in love."

"Right."

"Education is important to me, as a person and as a woman. That's me. You decide for yourself what is important to you." Still laughing, she gave Bella a careful squeeze. "Right now, I think that should be some Ben and Jerry's ice cream."

"What?" Bella laughed, startled. "It's December."

"And they're open, and you should indulge." Esme steered her over. "It's a beautiful day."

It was. The day was bright and inside the famous ice cream parlor jolly Christmas tunes were playing. Bella sat at a booth, savoring her Banana on the Rum, and probing Esme about her various college degrees.

When they moved outside again, Bella's phone rang in her pocket. Bella answered it, scanning the readout to see if it was Carlisle. It wasn't, but she was still feeling cheerful when she answered. "Anna."

"Bella, hi. How are you?"

"I'm good. Enjoying vacation?"

There was a beat of silence. "Bella, seriously, how are you? What has been going on?"

"Oh." Bella lost her smile. Right. Somehow, she hadn't thought about Anna and Barry. "Well, what have you heard?"

"I'm not sure I understand what I heard. Is it true that you and Matt stopped seeing each other?"

"We're no longer a couple. I certainly hope I don't stop seeing him."

"Bella, _what_ is going on? You sound happy, and I'm sorry, but that's just strange to me given the circumstances."

Bella sighed, searching for words. Beside her Esme gave an understanding smile and moved off to one of the stores. Bella kept walking, wondering how close the nearest bench was. "Anna, it's hard to say this, but I don't know how else to do it. Matt and I broke up because we both realized that I'm in love with someone else."

"Um, wow…" There was a bit of a silence. "Who? And does he… she love you back?"

Bella tried not to laugh, but didn't quite succeed in keeping the merriment out of her voice. "Yes. I'm with Carlisle now."

"_Carlisle?_ Alice's Dad?"

"Um…" Bella was picturing what Anna could be thinking. _Yeah, Alice and Jasper's Dad. Alice and Jasper, my live-in friends who are dating each other. And now I'm dating their father figure. _"Yes, technically. You do know that Carlisle's just an adoptive parent, right? There's really only… eleven years between us, which is not old enough to… I'm sorry, I'm making you uncomfortable."

"No, I understand. And you sound happy. Are you happy?"

"Yes, I am. Very much."

"That's good," Anna said and then with some hesitancy added, "Matt's not."

Bella closed her eyes and felt the wave of grief and regret that came. "I want him to be."

"He really loved you. I'm sorry. I should not have said that."

"No, it's OK. I loved him, too. Just…not enough."

It was a little while before Anna said anything. "I am sorry for your pain. Both of yours. I think it will take us all some time to readjust. Call me again before winter break is over?"

"I will," Bella promised. After saying goodbye, they disconnected.

(~*~)

Bella couldn't stop thinking about her phone call with Anna on the ride home. Life with her friends hadn't quite been the same since Ramesh had died, and a lot of that was on her own shoulders. She'd been too caught up in herself and her own pain to relate to them. It hadn't felt like she'd been drifting apart from them, but now it seemed like that's exactly what had been going on. She didn't want to lose her friends because of her relationship with Carlisle. She also didn't want them to feel like they had to choose between her and Matt.

It was awkward between her and Anna now, that was for sure. Anna seemed confused and uncomfortable, but at least she hadn't seemed angry. Even as Anna admitted that there was tension, she'd also offered hope that things would turn out alright. Bella intended to hang on to that.

"Have you had another text from Carlisle?" Esme asked as they moved up the long driveway.

Bella shook her head. "No."

"Interesting."

"Why's that?"

Esme only smiled, and when they parked the car, Bella saw why. Carlisle's Mercedes was there. Bella let out a whoop that she was sure could have been heard from inside the house even to human ears, and she left all her packages in Esme's car to run inside. Glancing all around as she shucked off her outerwear, the only person Bella saw was Maggie, who quite simply pointed up the stairs.

Eagerly, Bella went up the steps to the third floor that was Carlisle's office. When she reached the top, she stopped and frowned. He wasn't there. Almost the whole length of the floor was visible to her: the paintings, the bookcases, the couch, his desk. Carlisle wasn't to be seen.

Bella started to turn around to see if he was at his wardrobe behind the railing, but before she could Carlisle made his move. Bella let out a quick shriek of surprise that easily turned into laughter as Carlisle grabbed her and swung her around, spinning both of them in circles. Their eyes glowed at each other and he slowed to a stop. Bella slid down along him into a kiss. It was easy to linger, human heat pressed against warming preternatural cold. In the rush of contact, Carlisle's body was especially hard against her skin. Bella felt slightly sore where he'd first grabbed her. Now though, moving against him slowly, he was more comfortable, more what she was accustomed to when touching him.

Carlisle drew away softly and he led her to the couch. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too."

"How has your day gone?"

"How has _your_ day gone is more like it. You've been working."

"Are we back to repeating each other?" Carlisle's eyes twinkled and leaning back into the cushions, he tucked Bella in against his side. It was a position they'd been in many times, but now it was different. Even slight contact was more potent. The smells were sweeter, the sounds of fabric swishing and soft breath more precious.

"So…" Bella said on a sigh, unable to keep the smile off her face.

"So…"

"Where do we begin? Where is this going? How is it going to end?"

Carlisle stroked Bella's cheek. "It's not going to end. Not for me, not ever."

Bella closed her eyes and let the feeling of his words wash over her. "You'll always feel this way for me?"

"Yes." Carlisle's fingers moved from her cheek to her hair. "I may not be able to grow old with you, but we can still grow together."

"How old do you see me growing? Thirties? Forties?" The thought was a little disturbing. She'd be like a cougar — actually, on the other hand, that might be a little fun. Eh, maybe not.

"Bella, I hope you live a great deal longer than that."

"Well, I'll _live_ a lot longer than that."

Looking at each other, the confused subtext cleared for both of them.

"Carlisle, I'm talking about changing to become one of you."

"You'd be willing to do that?"

"To be with you forever? Yes. Without a single doubt."

"There's more to it than that. It's… Your body changes, Bella. Your needs won't be the same; your skin won't even be the same."

Lowering her head, Bella traced her fingers along his hand, her tips delicately moving along the flesh between his fingers. "I know."

"Do you, Bella?" Carlisle's tone made Bella turn her face and look at him. His gaze was earnest.

"Carlisle." Bella took a second to stare into his eyes, building her response. "Haven't I lived with your family long enough to understand what it means to be a Cullen?"

Carlisle closed his eyes and kissed the top of her head. He didn't want to belittle her or underestimate her. Bella had always been observant, and she'd grown into a strong woman. "To me, you already are and will always be a Cullen."

"So you'll change me?" Bella's smile didn't quite hide the nervousness she had felt waiting for Carlisle's response.

"Yes, when you're ready."

Bella settled against him again, and thought of her conversation with Esme. "I would like to finish college first."

"That makes sense, and I'm glad you do. Are you thinking of graduate school as well?"

"Perhaps. There's a lot to think about, but I am certain, Carlisle, more certain than I have been of anything, that I want to spend eternity with you." Bella snuggled in and lightly kissed his chest where her head was resting. Carlisle leaned down to kiss her again, touching his lips to wherever they could easily reach. Their faces adjusted, moving closer, a pass of the lips on her temple, his chin, until finally their mouths met.

Bella softened her lips, letting Carlisle's tongue in and meeting it with her own. Eager, she pressed for more. It was such a strange and lovely sensation. The taste of him was so exotic, so gently cool, it was like drinking moonlight.

_Delicious,_ she thought. Carlisle's lips left her mouth and moved along her jaw, allowing her to relax her neck. It was so different, being touched by Carlisle like this. So familiar and yet so new. His skin just wasn't human. It was tougher, nearly unyielding. It didn't give warmth, but took hers from her. Though she'd become accustomed to casual touches over the years, there was still an alien feel to him. His lips and mouth were vampire, inhuman and dangerous even in affection. Bella closed her eyes and without realizing it, let out a small, aroused gasp. Carlisle stopped and drew back, and Bella looked at him in confusion.

"Forgive me, Bella, but I'm going to want to be careful."

"Careful?"

"Touching you." Carlisle felt desperate to touch her, to explore her body, but it was not without risk. He was used to touching humans, but not in this manner. It had been so long, he wasn't sure he could trust himself to hold back enough.

"You're always touching me," Bella protested, but she was beginning to understand what he meant. Her heartbeat quickened.

"And I want to keep touching you," Carlisle said with grit in his low voice.

Bella froze. She was leaning against him, pressed into his side, against his body, a mate to hers. That gorgeous supernatural body could and would become one with hers.

Her insides tightened; her breaths became shorter and quicker. Panting, Bella could picture it. Carlisle naked, on top of her, touching her, inside her. _Oh GOD!_

"Bella." Carlisle grew concerned, but soon realized that she wasn't hyperventilating in panic at the thought of mating with him. He watched as her gaze traveled down his body and slowly up again. It was definitely not panic in her eyes. The scent of her arousal was strong, delicious and oh-so-human. It was better than he remembered, when he had first caught it years ago in that hotel room in Eau Claire. It dawned on him that he had probably been the cause of it back then. He'd made his Bella aroused, before anyone else had ever touched her. Now she was here with him and always would be. Carlisle touched her arms, turning her body and pulling her onto his lap.

Bella put her hands in Carlisle's hair. "Carlisle, I…" Her fingers tightened on his locks, and in turn Carlisle's hands moved, molding her, caressing her, moving her torso closer to his. "I've always thought of _you_, of who you are. How much you mean to me." With every beat she moved her face closer to his, pulled his closer to hers. She tried to speak around her pants, the rise and fall of her chest pressing her breasts against him. She gasped at the feel of his hard flesh brushing against the fabric at her nipples. "The thought of being with you, of us together…"

Her mouth was so close to his now, her warm breath expelling in spurts against his skin. "Carlisle." It was a low cry of need. "Kiss me."

He did. He could do no less, as Bella practically began to tremble. His lips were on hers, feeling them give way beneath his pressure. He forced his tongue into her mouth, pulling Bella's hips flush against his. She mewled in her throat, and he swallowed the sound. Her body was grinding against his erection and her fingers tugged on his hair. His grip on her hips tightened and Bella let out a grunt.

Overwhelmed by the strength of his arousal and desire for her, it was Carlisle that had to break free from her mouth, even though he didn't need to breathe. But Bella would have none of it. She followed, using her grip on his head to rejoin their mouths. Her tongue was hot as it found its way back into him, and indeed, her entire body temperature had risen. His own skin was warming, taking in her heat, even though their clothes weren't off.

And their clothes couldn't be off, not yet, but Carlisle was not letting go of Bella while she was this needy and hungry. Oh Heaven, what did she just do with her tongue? Picking her up, Carlisle carried her from the couch to his desk, knocking aside whatever was on it. He set her there, keeping his body pressed up against hers.

_What am I doing?_ he thought, but didn't stop kissing her. Her hands fell away from his head when he brought his own up to the back of her skull. He had to be careful. Drawing away, Carlisle gently tilted her head to the side and kissed down her neck. Her skin was soft, and oh so salty-sweet. He couldn't help but give a little lick.

Bella whimpered when she felt his tongue on her skin. Carlisle continued to kiss his way down, his hand stroking in the wake of his mouth, and dropping to her waist. A part of Bella was sentient to the fact that she was sitting on Carlisle's desk and he was drawing up her sweater. It only made her more excited. Carlisle's desk, Carlisle's hands, Carlisle's lips. The numbing pain on her hips was nothing to that.

The sweater stopped just after it exposed one cup of her bra, and then there was nothing left to do but gasp as Carlisle used his lips to nip her through the thin fabric. With a low noise, the cup was yanked down and Carlisle was sucking on her nipple. Bella jerked in reaction, ignoring the cold, feeling the pleasure tug down deep into her center. "Carlisle, yes, please."

And she longed for him to touch her there, to use his free hand to touch between her legs. But it stayed on her hip, where it had moved to steady her, slightly pressing against where she was hurt. Bella was bracing herself with her hands behind her, but she freed one, just one, and put it on Carlisle's head, encouraging his sucking, his licking. Bella's eyes were closed, and she lost herself to the feeling of it, barely registering when her nails lightly scratched at his scalp.

Carlisle let out another noise and released her nipple. He raised his head and kissed her lips, needy, and she met him with the passion of every remembered tug on her flesh. They went like that for what seemed like several minutes, but was definitely too short a time. Carlisle was slowing down, kissing her, but keeping his body away. The sweater had gradually slid down her side again, and with a free hand he tugged it back into place before stepping back.

"Bella, I don't want to take this too far so soon."

Bella's had to take deep, measured breaths. She was calming down, but she still felt incredibly wet. "I know. You were saying something along those lines before this started."

Carlisle grinned at her, and with his longish blond hair mussed from her fingers, it was hard for Bella to not just grab him and kiss him again. "You effectively distracted me."

Bella grinned back at him. "I'd like to again sometime."

Carlisle closed his eyes and said something too low for her to hear, but the last word very much looked like_ yes._ Louder, and with his eyes open again, he said, "Do you understand why?"

"Anticipation?" Bella guessed. "Drawing out a good thing? Forever is a long time, we wouldn't want to rush our early days by having sex right away." Bella couldn't help it, her eyes fell to the front of his pants on the word _sex_, and she noticed that his erection was still quite large and strong. She swallowed and adjusted her hips on the desk. The movement caused a fresh wave of pain, which she ignored in favor of viewing what was gloriously right in front of her, hidden behind those damn work pants.

"Yes, those are all good points. But I was thinking more about me." On those words, Bella raised her gaze back to Carlisle's face. "I've been in contact with humans for a long time, Bella, but never like this. I need to try to increase my control with less climactic encounters before I can try to copulate with you."

"'Copulate'?" Bella mocked.

"Make love," Carlisle corrected. "And Bella, I _really_ want to make love with you."

_Nice save_, Bella thought. "I really want to make love with you, Carlisle." Bella slid off of his desk, and rubbed her legs together on the way down hoping to relieve some of the tension that hadn't quite abated yet. "So I'd probably better go right now."

"Thank you for understanding."

"Come see me once we've had a chance to calm down?"

Carlisle grinned again, and Bella's heart beat in response. "Of course."

Carefully, Bella walked to the left of Carlisle, not wanting to get too close. The eighteen inches apart they'd been standing was clearly too short a distance. She might launch herself at him again, despite the bruises she could feel forming on her hips with each step. As Bella passed him, she eyed his erection again. No changes yet, it was still high and hard. Bella knew that tonight she'd be picturing it, thinking of Carlisle and how it had felt to grind against him. Oh, how was she supposed to calm down from this? Just _the thought_ of thinking about it later aroused her and reminded her of how wet she still was.

Before Bella made it to the stairs, Carlisle was in front of her again. "Don't leave," he said on a breath as he stepped forward and pulled her to into his arms again. Or maybe she stepped into them. From that moment everything was happening too fast for Bella to keep track anymore.

They were kissing, and their hands were on each other, just about everywhere. God, Bella could taste him all day, drink him in nonstop — and she didn't dare to stop kissing him when he laid her on her back, right there on the floor. By then his cardigan was gone and his shirt was hanging opening. Had she undone his buttons? She'd been looking forward to touching those buttons and letting them know they belonged to her. Next time, next time she'd show them who was boss as right now she couldn't think for how much she wanted to touch Carlisle's exotic, delicious body. Carlisle was once again her angel, her vampire, and being with him was... rapture.

Her sweater was up at her armpits and his cold mouth was working her other breast now. Bella mewled and cried and her hips came up off the floor. Her jeans felt too tight, too weighty, and she wanted them off. Carlisle's lips moved down her torso and across her navel, while his hands seemed to answer her unspoken frustration. His fingers undid her button, slid under her waistline, and from either side tugged the clothing down. They brushed across her thighs, ridged and got tugged over her knees and finally were off of her entirely. Still lying on her back, Bella closed her eyes when Carlisle kissed the top of her knee, the side of her knee, her thigh. She didn't realize that her underwear was off, too, until his hands slid under her.

"Carlisle?" Her eyes opened and she began to raise her head but it wasn't soon enough. It fell back when Carlisle's mouth landed between her legs and his tongue got moving. "Carlisle!" she screamed.

His tongue was velvety and cool, and felt so different, but oh-so-good right now. She was so wet, and he was… he was. "Carlisle," she moaned again, and then lifted her head to watch.

He was looking up at her, and his whiskey eyes showed so many things. Need, desire, pleasure. He closed them and pushed his face more onto her, and she moaned his name again. His blond hair, his pale, cool skin. Seeing him, feeling him there between her legs, it just felt so right. "Carlisle, Carlisle," she whispered, reverent, elated. Her hands touched his hair, encouraging him, and when his tongue gave a particular swirl, they tugged at his hair while she moaned out just a single syllable of his name.

Carlisle made a guttural noise in response, something she'd never heard before, between a growl and a purr. It made her tug on his hair again, push herself closer to him. "Yesss…"

In reaction, his fingertips pressed into her skin and then he stopped, just before she cried out at the pain. Carlisle didn't move a muscle, but remained frozen there between her legs.

"Don't stop," Bella begged.

Carlisle lifted his head. Carefully, deliberately, his eyes on hers the entire time, he slid his hands out from underneath her and placed one on either side of her hips. He licked his lips. "Put your hands on mine," he said.

"What?" Bella couldn't understand through the haze of what was happening.

"Please, Bella, put your hands over mine. It'll help me."

Obediently, Bella placed one hand over each of his. Carlisle exhaled, and the feel of the cool air on her swollen flesh made her shift her hips. Carlisle gave her a wicked smile, and then his head was lowered again almost faster than she could see.

"Carlisle!" she screamed again when he made contact. He was touching her now with nothing other than his mouth and tongue, and it was absolutely erotic. Bella stopped thinking, and just allowed herself to feel. Her hands clutched at his while he built and sustained her, drawing it out with tenderness, intent, retreat, new strength. She was whimpering, moaning and completely reverential of what was happening because it was him. Truly and finally him. "Carlisle, Carlisle, Carlisle, Carlisle, Carlisle…" _God, Carlisle, yes, Carlisle. You, Carlisle, always, forever, you, you you._ "…you, yes, Carlisle, love, God! Yes, Carlisle, Carlisle, Carlisle…"

When her orgasm came it made her whole body rock and tremble. Her hands tried to stay on his, her fingers scratching at his vampire flesh. The pressure of the resistance against her nails barely registered and she didn't care. Her fingers turned caressing as she came down and Bella and her body had only just one thought. Her every orgasm for the rest of her life would belong to him.

Carlisle was resting his head on her stomach as she breathed heavily. "Carlisle," she said dreamily. She lifted a hand and played with his hair, gently stroking.

"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" he said against her stomach.

Bella only chuckled. Carlisle lifted his head to look at her and grin.

"Do you mind if I say thank you?" Bella asked him.

Carlisle groaned. "You never have to thank me for that."

"What about you?"

"I'm… uh." Carlisle smiled bashfully, his eyes looking down and back up at her.

"You're… oh." For a nanosecond Bella's face didn't reveal a thing, then a large, wicked grin spread across it. She didn't believe that this was (or would be) Carlisle's norm. The wet front of his pants was only a sign of how excited he had been. Oh, this was _wonderful_.

"Are you laughing at me?" Carlisle asked, both amused and mortified, and Bella realized that she had indeed started laughing.

"No, Carlisle." Bella reach a hand down and cupped it around his shoulder, encouraging him to move up. When he did, she wrapped her arms around his neck and looked into his eyes. "I am quite delighted with you."

Eyes slanting with love and pleasure, Carlisle leaned down and kissed her.

(~*~)

"It's _fine_, really."

"Not to me, it isn't."

Dressed again in the same clothes she'd walked into his office wearing – sans the wet underwear — Bella tried to figure out how to navigate this discussion without it becoming more than just a disagreement. They couldn't possibly be fighting already.

"Alright, Carlisle, I admit, there were some moments when it hurt a bit, but they were nothing compared to how good everything felt."

"Bella, I bruised your skin, in several places. You're sore." Carlisle had changed his outfit completely, now wearing pants and a sweater that he'd let Bella pick out.

"Being sore is a good thing."

"Bella…"

"Carlisle, look." Bella picked up his hand and held it in her own, stroking the skin between his fingers. "We're going to have to figure out a way around this, okay? Our first time being intimate – in that fashion — is bound to have some moments of trial and error. I'm sure there'll be many more to come."

"I don't want to hurt you." His voice was gentle.

"I know you don't. But if it happens it's alright."

Bella's phone rang, playing the song she'd programmed for Renee. Bella picked up the phone to answer it, and Carlisle put his hand on hers, stopping her.

"Have you talked to her yet about us?"

"No, how could I? There hasn't been time."

"Don't. Not yet, please."

"Why not?" Bella asked as her thumb automatically hit _Answer_. Frowning at Carlisle as he backed away and went to his desk, she brought the phone up to her ear. "Hi, Mom."

"Bella! I haven't heard from you in a while."

"It's been two days and finals, Mom."

"How did finals go?"

Carlisle came back from the desk with a piece of paper. He handed it to her, and Bella saw that he'd written a note. "Um, fine I think I did really well."

_I'd like to be able to tell your parents in person. The change in our status might be alarming and best handled face-to-face._

"How did you manage to study with all the moving?" Renee asked.

_I know it is short notice, but if you agree, please invite your mother here. I'll cover the airfare for her and Phil, as well as Charlie and Sue._

"There wasn't much to move. Most of my things were already here."

"Oh."

Bella looked at Carlisle. He'd shoved his hands in his front pockets, something she'd only seen him do once before. Wow, Carlisle was nervous.

"Actually, Mom, I was wondering… would you and Phil be willing to fly up here for Christmas? It's been a couple years since I've gotten to see you on Christmas Day."

"Bella, I'm not sure that we can afford it."

"That's just it. Carlisle — the Cullens — are willing to pay for the tickets as their gift to me."

Carlisle smiled. Exactly, he mouthed.

"Is Matt bringing his family?"

"Um, no. Matt's spending the holiday in Connecticut."

"Well," Renee said with the tone of a decision made, "I guess I'd better come up."

The conversation went much the same way with Charlie a few minutes later, and before Bella could even grasp that it was actually happening, her parents and their spouses were all flying in to spend Christmas in Vermont.

(~*~)

"Nervous?" Edward asked Bella as she kept scanning the crowd at the Burlington International Airport.

"No – yes. I don't know what's going to happen."

"Well, first, your father and Sue are going to arrive on United 4257 around 7:43pm. You and Carlisle are going to tell them about your relationship tonight. Then tomorrow your mother and Phil—"

"Shut-up."

"You asked."

"No, I didn't."

"Listen, Bella," Edward put his hand on her back, "everything is going to turn out fine."

"Easy to say, harder to believe. Charlie knows the truth about all of you. How is he going to take finding out that I'm with Carlisle? That I plan on becoming like you?"

"Give Charlie some credit."

Bella grunted. "And Mom… well, she always liked Matt."

"And she was perfectly understanding when you told her that the two of you had called things off."

"Yeah, but how is she going to take finding out about Carlisle? He's akin to a father figure in her mind."

"That one is a little tougher to call."

"She'll throw a fit, is what she'll do. Did you know she told Carlisle to keep his hands off me two years ago?"

"What?" Edward laughed.

"It's not funny. Carlisle told me all about it. She sent me off on some contrived errand just so that she could accuse Carlisle of trying to be a sugar daddy."

Edward was laughing so hard he didn't answer. Bella hit him on the shoulder. "Not. Funny."

"Well, Carlisle is a little pervert, isn't he?"

"I believe I told you once already to shut up. Respect your elder."

"My… what?" Edward tried to speak around his chuckles.

"Your _elder_. Physically I am four years older than you, and now I am pretty much your stepmom."

Edward stopped laughing. "Now that's a sobering thought." Then he grinned again. "You're acting rather childish for a stepmom. Oh, look, here they come," he added before she could respond.

Bella turned and saw Carlisle leading Charlie and Sue toward where she and Edward waited at the luggage claim. All thoughts of nasty retorts to Edward vanished under the fresh wave of nervousness.

"Dad!" Bella called out and waved her arm in the air, joy temporarily replacing nerves.

"Bells," he called back in return, a little less loudly. They hugged when they reached each other and then Bella switched to Sue.

"I am so, so glad you could make it."

"Us, too," Sue enthused.

Unseen behind the three humans, Edward raised his eyebrows at Carlisle, signaling that he wanted to speak to him. Carlisle acknowledged, just as Edward shook Charlie's hand. "It's good to see you again, sir."

"Edward," Charlie acknowledged.

"Bella, why don't you stay here while Edward and I go bring the car around?"

Bella nodded acquiescence, and felt her stomach clench. Obviously bringing Edward had been the right idea. He'd already learned something from Sue and Charlie's mind, and that was _not_ a good sign.

"What is it, Edward?" Carlisle asked as soon as they'd walked away.

"They definitely suspect there's been a change in relationships," Edward said. "They've narrowed it down to two suspects: me and you."

"You?" Carlisle was startled. "I suppose that makes sense. For a time, you both were the same age level." _Now she's mine. I'm closer in physical age to her than Edward at this point, and she's more mature. She's always been my companion. She's meant for me, my mate._

Edward ignored the thoughts that Carlisle hadn't intended to broadcast. "I could tell from Sue that she's open-minded no matter who it is, but Charlie has a definite preference."

_Who—_

"I don't know. Charlie's always been difficult to read, but I can tell that my being here with you has confused them. Now they're thinking that it's more likely me and that you're here to help smooth things over. They couldn't tell which of us Bella was watching while we walked away."

"If they have a preference, does that mean he's going to be alright with the fact that I'm a vampire?"

Edward shrugged. "I guess so. Their thoughts didn't take them that far, so if it's not on their minds then it's probably not an issue. I can't say what they'll think of your intention for her to be changed."

"Right now I'm worried that Charlie prefers you."

Edward didn't say anything for a moment. "I don't see why he would, Carlisle. He knows you better, and doesn't approve of my lifestyle any more than Bella does."

Edward heard Carlisle take note of the sadness in his tone, and hoped that Carlisle would interpret it as disappointment at not having Charlie's approval.

"Edward, how do you really feel about Bella being in a relationship with me?"

_Damn, he knows me too fucking well._ "Carlisle, I am very happy for you. I've been waiting for this for years, almost longer than the rest of the family." _Shit, what did I just say? _Before Carlisle could ask him what he meant, Edward charged forward, as if he'd intended all along to come clean. "Alice told me about her visions of you the first time I met Bella."

"She did?"

"Yes. You remember… you remember my original reaction."

Carlisle couldn't help it. He'd started to growl very lowly. Edward winced, and took a step away from Carlisle.

"Easy, easy. It _is_ the past. But I have to be honest and say that I did believe I could love her. Now I just think of her as a friend. That was settled a long time ago, and you have Alice to thank for helping me put things in perspective."

"Bella is mine." Carlisle stopped walking and faced Edward, several emotions going through him.

"Forever and always. There is no other for you Carlisle, and I would never get in the way of your happiness. I backed off. It was thoughts in my head, nothing more."

Edward watched Carlisle force himself to relax. "I believe you, Edward. I know that you love me and want my happiness. I didn't mean to get territorial. But how did Alice know to tell you to back off if you hadn't made a decision of some kind?"

"I'd merely thought to apologize to her for fighting and hoped that would lead to our relationship becoming easier. I wondered how I would handle that, how to begin to woo her if that was what I was really ready for. Alice didn't need to see anything else. She took me out into the woods almost immediately and set me straight."

"That must have been difficult." Carlisle stepped in to Edward and put his hands on his neck. "Edward, to finally feel that you could love someone only to be told not to. To be forced to choose between your heart and the possibility of an as-yet-uncertain future happiness for me. Thank you." Carlisle leaned forward and kissed his forehead.

Edward closed his eyes. "Well, she's my stepmom now."

Carlisle laughed and pushed Edward away from him. "We aren't married yet. Possibly after college."

"When you change her?"

_Now there's a thought I'll have to run past Bella. Would she want to be changed on her wedding day?_

"Carlisle, I think you'd better propose to her first."

"No. First, we have to tell her parents we're together." Carlisle sighed. "No offense, Edward, but I hope I'm Charlie's preference."

(~*~)

He was. Charlie told Carlisle in private later that has far as he was concerned, he'd given Carlisle his blessing the day he'd walked into his office at the hospital.

Renee, it turned out, was also expecting the news. She'd flown up specifically to have it broken to her in person, and she'd also had a private talk with Carlisle. Only this time, she told him how proud she was of him for letting Bella live a little first, and to come to him of her own choosing. When Carlisle confessed that he himself hadn't realized he was in love until recently, she'd laughed at him.

Renee still didn't get why the Cullens ate so little at dinner, though. It was Christmas, the time of year to eat all the rich, indulgent foods. There was something odd about those Cullens, but they loved her daughter and she loved them. Renee supposed everyone had their quirks, and was content that Bella was happy.

* * *

**Next chapter... Vampire/Human Lovemaking 101**


	31. Chapter 31

~*~ Chapter Thirty-One ~*~

Just like the moon — celestial and cool, powerful and mysterious. Bella could so easily lose herself simply in tasting Carlisle's lips.

"Never really put up mistletoe," Charlie's voice carried loudly and broke Bella and Carlisle apart. "So that's what it looks like."

"Charlie, for heaven's sake, I put up mistletoe the first few years we were married," Renee chastised from across the room.

"You put up that $1 paint-sprayed plastic looking stuff."

"It said it was real mistletoe right on the package."

The mild but friendly bickering between her parents brought Bella decidedly back into awareness of the crowded room around her. Carlisle had already stepped back, and Bella absently rubbed her arm where Carlisle's hand had just been. It still made her feel like dancing on air, this powerful thing between her and Carlisle. Everything was just _right_ with the world. Over on the couch sat Alice, Jasper at her feet and facing the room while she rubbed his shoulders. Esme and Maggie were on either side of the Christmas tree, smiling in the white lights. Renee and Phil stood beside Maggie, both with a glass of wine in hand. Rosalie also held a glass of wine, the only other one in the room to do so, and Bella loved her for it, though Edward obviously mocked her as he sprawled on the couch beside Alice. Sue sat on the loveseat, laughter in her eyes as she looked at her husband.

"Sure, it did." Charlie answered Renee before giving a small cough. "Bella, I was wondering if you'd like to go for a walk."

Renee started to speak, but then just half-rolled her eyes.

"Um, sure, Dad." With a smile for Carlisle, Bella turned and followed her father to the coat rack.

Life can move in circles, when there can be found a pattern, continuity. Walking outside with Charlie in the woods, Bella took comfort in it. After having been in the snow with Carlisle and talking about Christmases with Charlie, here she was having a Christmas walk in the woods with her Dad talking about Carlisle.

"I've always suspected there was something between you two."

Bella shrugged with a shy smile. "I remember. I thought you were being ridiculous."

"You threw a pillow at me."

"You suggested I take him to prom!"

"Pretty sure I said the opposite."

"Same difference."

"Bells…" Charlie started, gaze directed at the trees before landing on her. "How deeply do you love him?"

Bella started to ask what he meant, and then she realized she didn't need to. But how to go about answering him? It was one thing to tell Esme and Alice that there was no other option in her mind but to spend the rest of eternity with Carlisle. Finding the right way to tell her father, however, wasn't so easy. He loved her, had helped raise her, given her human life. She didn't want to hurt him by telling him she was choosing something different, choosing not to be human. Worse, she didn't want to be less in his eyes because of it.

The only sound was the crunching of snow and twigs beneath their feet as Bella tried to find the right words and Charlie waited patiently. The tall trees were barren, the snow already fallen to add to the blanket of white. The world around them was still, and the chill was ready to envelop her. She felt no discomfort in it. It was her choice, her path.

"I know that Carlisle is it for me," Bella said.

They kept walking, side by side, until Charlie fell behind her, stopping. His mouth opened and shut again, no words coming out. His eyes, though, said it all. Bella's heart clenched at the emotions in them. There was love and pride, and there were tears just about ready to fall, though he fought them. Bella reached out and clasped his hand.

"I love you, Dad."

Charlie pulled her in, his arm around her neck as he kissed the top of her head and blinked furiously.

Around them the land of winter remained quiet and still.

Charlie broke away abruptly. "Bella, with us being part Quileute, will it even work?"

(~*~)

Alone in his office while the others were downstairs, Carlisle was on the phone exchanging holiday greetings with the Denali family.

"Hello, Carlisle." A new voice greeted him as the phone on the other end of the line changed hands.

"Tanya."

"How are you enjoying Kate's news?"

"I think it is wonderful, and I am pleased for both her and Garrett."

"Yes, I am, too. Though I can't say I'm enjoying my new role as the only single one in the household. You'll have to give me some tips. Now, how's your delectable boy, Edward?"

"He's here; you'll have a chance to speak with him. As it happens, Tanya, I am no longer single."

"Ah…" The word came out in a long, knowing sigh. "Your human, your Bella, yes?"

Carlisle laughed. "Has everyone known but the two of us?"

"I have an instinct for this sort of thing, Carlisle." She sighed. "Except when it comes to Edward. Sadly, my affection is still unrequited there. But enough of that. It is actually you who wants to ask _me _for tips, or am I mistaken?"

"You are exactly right," Carlisle admitted. It weighed on him a great deal how she'd been hurt whenever they'd come together physically. He'd backpedalled after that first time in his office, not letting it go so far, and still things were less than perfect. "I've hurt her, not much, but enough to worry me."

"How did you hurt her?"

"I bruised her, accidentally pinched her. I've even twisted the wrong way and caused her skin to chafe."

Tanya chuckled lightly. "Sounds like beginner's bad luck to me. You know better than most that you have to go slow when touching a human, Carlisle. And I don't just mean speed, I mean contact. Our skin can be especially abrasive at higher speeds, rather like a shark's. You move too fast for something simple, even pulling her into a hug because you're happy to see her, and you can easily bruise or chafe her. Watch your excitement. Be gentle and go slow, Carlisle."

"Especially for penetration, I imagine." Carlisle closed his eyes, attempting to visualize the self-control that would be required of him. Despite that he wanted to prevent things from escalating as they had done before, Carlisle intended to become fully carnal with Bella.

"Well, I do have a little insight on that. A male vampire's penis is not nearly as hard as the rest of him, as ironic as that might sound. More, uh, _enthusiastic_ speeds," Tanya's tone was very amused, "are not as detrimental as, say, your fingers would be. Carlisle, surely you've noticed the difference in the texture of the flesh?"

"I am a scientist," he answered, and they both laughed.

"Oh, lord, Carlisle, as soon as they invented the microscope you were examining our venom in all its forms. You tell me, is your semen capable of impregnating a human?"

The thought stopped Carlisle cold. "I don't . . . I've never wondered. Obviously that needs to change."

"Mm-hmm. Carlisle, in some ways I envy you what you are about to experience, but unlike you, I've never had to worry about consequences." Tanya was thoughtful. "Well, let's get back onto the original topic, shall we. Carlisle, I know that you are the gentlest vampire on the entire planet when it comes to caring for humans. When it comes to lovemaking, however, I have a couple more ideas and hints I'd like to pass on to you."

(~*~)

A little over a week later, Carlisle found Bella in the laundry room, moving her clothes out of the dryer. Her hair was down, and she brushed it away from her eyes as she leaned over. The motion caused the rounded top of her breast to become visible above the V-neck of her shirt, granting Carlisle a brief glimpse. Everything about her was lovely to him: her undone hair, her modest breasts, even the simple motion she made folding her jeans. Unfortunately, his thoughts did not stay on simple enjoyment.

Her parents had gone shortly after Christmas, but in their wake Bella and Carlisle were faced with some questions. Together they had done a blood test, infusing a sample of her blood with his venom. The results had shown that she would indeed be able to become a vampire. While that knowledge had brought relief to both of them, Carlisle still wondered about the possibility of pregnancy. Short of asking Bella for one of her eggs, he wasn't sure how to find this out — and should they prove fertile, he definitely didn't want a frozen embryo on their minds — the tests he'd have to do to determine what kind of child they'd create together — even if the embryo survived Bella wouldn't be able to bear it after transformation, her womb would be frozen — she'd have to carry the child to term before being changed — decide whether to be a human mother or a vampire mother — parenthood was a great responsibility — a newborn vampire and a young child at the same time — even if he and Bella could conceive, even if they decided together whether they would want to —

"You're thinking about pregnancy again," Bella said softly.

"You can tell?"

"I've managed to learn some of your expressions over the years." Bella continued to fold the clothes as she took them out of the dryer. "That, and I've been thinking about it, too. I'd like to make a suggestion."

"What's that?"

"Let's _not_ think about it. Seriously. We're not ready to have sex right now, so why spend time worrying? When the time comes, let's use protection, or withdrawal, or the pill."

"Are you already on the pill?"

"Um… no. I was, but then I slipped off of it these last few months."

There was a beat, and then, "Bella, is there any chance that you are—"

She shook her head. "No, Carlisle. It didn't matter that that I was off the pill." Picking up her laundry basket, she moved around Carlisle and left the laundry room.

Carlisle followed her as they passed through the kitchen. He shouldn't have asked. Her scent was still her usual scent, her breasts the same lovely size, and they'd been together for half a month without the slightest sign. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"You didn't. It's just… well, we've been dealing with some pretty heavy topics and we only just got together."

"You're right. It hasn't exactly been light with us lately. You're certain, Bella, that this is what you want right now? Me and you?"

"Of course." They had reached the stairs and Bella stopped to turn and make eye contact with him. "Carlisle, there isn't a doubt in my mind. We could have nothing but angst and heaviness and I'd still want to be with you. This is it. I love you."

Carlisle could see it in her eyes. She loved him as much as he did her. This was, indeed, it. In the joy of it, he wanted to reach out and hold her, kiss her, do anything for her. But she was two steps higher and the laundry basket was between them. So he grasped it. "Here, let me take care of this."

"Huh?"

"Let me take care of your laundry."

"Why? What for?"

"Because I want to."

"You want to carry my clothes to my room and put them away." Bella's tone was amused disbelief.

"Yes, why not?"

"O…kay." Bella grinned. "Here you go!" Bella knocked the basket over, spilling her clothes into Carlisle, and then ran for it.

On impulse, Bella didn't turn at the second landing to go for her bedroom. She kept climbing up to his office, thinking maybe she could hide in his wardrobe. Reaching the top floor she stopped to consider her options and nearly shrieked when she saw Carlisle waiting for her. He laughed and lightly grabbed her, swinging her into a hug. She laughed too, always loving it when he did spun her around.

"How did you know that I would come here?"

"I just did," Carlisle answered, but the look in his eyes said, _I'm not telling…_

"I didn't even feel you move past me."

"That would be because I climbed in through the window."

"You went outside?" Bella's expression was so cute that Carlisle had to kiss her.

Just entering the house, Esme raised an eyebrow at the sight of the clothes all over the stairs and the basket on the floor. Above her Bella's giggles and Carlisle's laughter could clearly be heard.

Later, as Esme was painting, she tried not to hear anything else.

"What… how did you know about that spot?"

"Perfect memory." Carlisle's murmur was muffled.

An exhale and a whimper. "I told you about it?"

"Not in so many words." Carlisle's murmur continued. "You made a vague reference, then blushed and wouldn't look me in the eye. . . . Look me in the eye now, Bella."

A little moan. A gasp. "Carlisle, you don't need sacred spots to make me feel this way."

"I will take advantage of anything and everything to give you as much pleasure as I can."

A weak, happy groan. "I'm a dead woman."

(~*~)

Edward and Rosalie left for exploits further east before school started up again mid-January. The changes brought a bit more into focus for Bella the social changes she'd gone through. Bella had not been in touch with the old college crew much over break, but she had called Anna, as promised. Once classes resumed she and Anna still got together, but not often, and their conversations were stilted. Once across the quad, Bella had caught sight of her with Barry and Matt. Anna and Matt both waved, but had kept on walking. Matt looked well. He hadn't hid from her or doubled back to talk to her. Bella figured that was just as it should be. Matt needed to keep moving on.

Bella's mood was quiet when Carlisle followed her into the kitchen that evening. He helped her gather ingredients, but before she could do more than start a pot of water, he took her hand in his. "What is wrong?" he asked gently.

"I think..." Bella licked her lips. "I think I've lost them."

"Your friends?" Carlisle intuited. "Why do you think that?"

"I don't spend time with them on campus anymore. Anna a little, but that's it. I didn't realize until now that Barry didn't even acknowledge seeing me this afternoon. And Matt, he's not avoiding me, but he's not going out of his way to cross my path either. And that's right, I'm OK with that. It's just that I'm not part of the group anymore. Maybe there hasn't really been a group since Ramesh died, but I know that's not why."

"It's me."

"Maybe. But it's more that it's no longer Matt and me."

Carlisle let go of her hand and stroked her back. "I'm sorry, Bella. Are you sure you can't repair your friendship with them?"

Bella blinked slowly, shaking her head. "I don't know, but it's probably just as well. I'd rather have things fall apart naturally than have to lie to them later once I'm changed."

"It's harder on you to lose them now. We've talked before about the losses you'll have to endure, but it'll be easier on you when your memories are fading and you have your new abilities to deal with. Are you sure you want it ended this way now?"

"Carlisle, it's easier on them this way. I know they cared, and leaving things as they have become, well, it's their choice."

"It's just as much your choice if you leave it be."

"Then we're all making the same decision." Bella moved away, pouring olive oil and white wine into the frying pan to heat. "Carlisle, I see that they're withdrawing and it hurts, and I didn't want it to happen. But I've given it some thought and I've decided to let it. Matt, Anna, Barry — they've all meant something to me, but I've got to let them go. I know who I want to keep in my life."

Carlisle came up behind her, and she felt his arms circle her waist. Leaning back, she gave him her weight and breathed him in, reveling in how right it felt.

"I don't know how I got so lucky," he said.

Bella smiled. "It's the other way around."

"You are a part of my every minute, Bella." His thumbs stroked her. "Each breath you take, your fragile heartbeat, your need to eat, sleep, wake. Nothing is more precious to me than you." He kissed her head. "I don't want to see you give up those you care about."

Bella turned in his arms and put her hands behind his neck. "I love you, Carlisle. And I accept everything comes with that. Trust me, I could not be happier." Raising her face she kissed him.

It was slow and tender, exploring. Everything still tasted new, and needed to be touched again. Carlisle tightened his arms, pulling her in closer and Bella sunk into him. Just pulling her bottom lip into his mouth, Carlisle suddenly stopped and turned his face toward the entryway.

"Whoops, sorry!" Alice's said. "I smelled the oil and thought that was the only thing heating up in here. My mistake."

"It's okay," Bella said, but gave Carlisle a regretful smile as she stepped back. "I need to get back to it anyway."

"What are you making for yourself?"

"Pasta caprese." Bella smiled at Alice. "How did we manage to take you by surprise anyway?"

"Oh, I'm not watching. I want to give you two your privacy, so I've loosened the attention my gift has on you."

"That's appreciated, Alice," Carlisle said, and he took the bottle of wine and poured some into a glass.

"What… Carlisle, tell me you aren't trying to get Bella drunk."

Bella laughed and took a sip from the glass before setting it down. "I don't need to be drunk. But I do need to finish the bottle before it goes bad."

Alice took a sniff. "Are you sure it hasn't already? Isn't this the one you opened when Renee was here?"

"Nope, different bottle. Mom got me two." Bella finished chopping the garlic and added it to the frying pan.

"Carlisle, I don't know how you can kiss her after she's put all that stuff in her mouth."

"Easy." Bella winked at Carlisle. "I just swish his saliva first."

"_Ew_."

(~*~)

It wasn't wrong to be taking it slow. Bella was conscious of that. A massage could be sensual, pleasurable, an opportunity to learn more about each other's bodies. Being in physical contact with Carlisle made Bella feel alive. Energy within and underneath her skin thrilled, and containing it was difficult. It was maddening, how cautiously Carlisle touched her. She was a concave button perfectly fitting the curve of his finger, but not fully depressed to engage the power. To accept the touch of muted foreplay but not the potential of the follow-through increasingly required her self-control, in more ways than one. It was an inner battle to slow down, to accept that her physical and emotional need to make love with him would only be met so far. And occasionally, frustration and impatience could break through the joy.

"A _little_ bit more pressure, Carlisle," she said, but not as softly as she intended.

Carlisle's face was suddenly above hers, a twinkle in his eyes. "Are you giving me orders? Is _that_ how this is going to work?"

"What? No. Shut up." She tried to push him off and the two of them rolled on her bed, laughing as she made more playful and futile efforts to dislodge him. Eventually they settled, with Carlisle on his back and Bella resting her head on his chest. As they lay there, Bella took note of some of their physical differences. The rise and fall of his chest was a measured affectation rather than a warm natural process. His body wasn't soft enough to pillow hers. But it didn't matter. If anything, it made being with him all the more wonderful. He was something more than human. He was Carlisle. And he was hers. Bella smiled.

"So…" Bella angled her face to look up at Carlisle's. "Do you want me to give you orders?"

Carlisle smiled and stroked her hair. "Bella, I want anything with you."

Their mutual attraction danced between them, giving purpose to the air. It would be so easy to let it carry them — but not simple. The glow in Carlisle's eyes muted, and seeing it, Bella settled her head back to where it had just been and the moment passed.

"Carlisle, I..." Bella took a breath. "I want everything, too. I know I've said it many times, but I'm going to say it again. I love you."

Carlisle was still stroking her hair, and changed to cup her face. He loved looking into her eyes. The strings of varying brown that exploded out from the black pupil in the center. The configuration was a beauty of nature that was as much a proof of God as anything else he'd ever scene. He could easily study the details of her brown eyes, learning each emotion in their texture, ad infinitum.

"Bella, I never tire of hearing you say it. I never tire of saying it. You know, being with you has changed me."

Bella snorted a slight doubtful noise, but her eyes still shone.

Carlisle grinned and pressed his lips to her hair. "Has it not been the same for you?"

Bella wiggled and they changed positions so that she was resting on his chest again. Carlisle pretended not to notice her slight wince before she adjusted the arm she held underneath her and beside him. Inwardly he sighed. Why had he not noticed before when they had cuddled that the contact was slightly abrasive to her? Had his new hyper-awareness of her brought it more prominently to his attention?

"It has," Bella answered. "Life is completely different now. And it is just as it should be."

Carlisle stroked her back, lightly, ever so carefully. "It's been a learning experience for me. My love for you, my need for you — both have always been there, though it still took me so long to notice. It turns out a vampire _does_ have a subconscious. Do you remember having that conversation with me?"

"Mmm. Vaguely. On the road trip here, right? I don't think we really got into it. We were discussing your sex life."

Carlisle laughed. "True, we were. Discussing sex certainly proved to be a stimulant. That night in the hotel you were having, ah, interesting dreams."

Bella blushed. Carlisle found it charming that after all they'd become to each other, she could still feel embarrassed by her eighteen-year-old self having a naughty dream in his presence. "I didn't–I mean, I wasn't _thinking_ about…"

"I didn't either. All the same, the sexual tension in that room became so thick, I had to leave."

"Wait." Bella lifted herself up onto her arm and pinned him with her gaze. "Are you saying that my dreams made you horny, Carlisle?"

"I was already horny," Carlisle admitted, "but your scent and your quiet moans made me truly turned on. When I left the room I reasoned it away. We'd been discussing sex, which put it on both our minds. It had been so long for me; my escalating physical interest was just a normal male reaction to your teenage hormones. Purely science. I know differently now. I have wanted you, I have been in love with you, for years. But I was blind to it. My subconscious knew, but I didn't."

Bella moved in closer. "I know what you mean."

They cuddled and stroked for a little while more before Bella spoke again. "Thinking about it, if something had happened between us that night in the hotel… Carlisle, I don't think I would have been ready."

He kissed her forehead once, twice, running along her hairline. "I understand. I certainly wasn't ready then either."

(~*~)

Time passed too quickly when Bella was with Carlisle, and too slowly when she wasn't. And unfortunately, there was a lot of "wasn't." Classes had to be attended, schoolwork and research done, shifts worked at the Storm Café. Bella chiefly scheduled her out-of-class work when Carlisle was at the hospital, and they did their best when there was an overlap of competing needs. Studying in his office was hard for her, because she had trouble focusing. And it was awful to not be in the same room as him when they were both home. From fairly early in the semester Bella started looking forward to Spring Break. Now March 20th was just around the corner.

Then there were the times that Carlisle wasn't at the hospital. And Bella wasn't at the Café and didn't need to get schoolwork done. And Maggie, Esme, Jasper and Alice were keeping themselves busy elsewhere, sometimes in the house and sometimes not. The times when Bella could focus on losing herself in his taste, in the touch of his unique skin, in feeling him touching her. Times that could range from pleasant, to happily frustrating, to just outright unsuccessful.

Bella tried not to wince, but an involuntary grunt still escaped her. Carlisle immediately stopped stroking her. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, keep going."

Carlisle hesitated, but then resumed his massage of her thighs at a gentler pace. Bella sighed and closed her eyes. She was flushed with arousal. Just the touch of Carlisle was enough to get her going, and he'd been making his way up her legs for a while.

"Ow!" she said as some of her skin got pinched between his fingers for the third time.

"Sorry." Carlisle immediately pulled his hand back.

"It's okay," Bella said, but Carlisle was already sitting up and retreating.

"I think I just have to concede that this isn't working out for us at the moment."

Bella went deadweight with a sigh. "You're right." Letting the remaining arousal fizzle, Bella hoped there'd be another opportunity later that night. Sometimes intimacy wasn't right due to the mood of the moment. Tonight it was because they couldn't get themselves physically aligned. It happened… sometimes. Bella sighed again. If she were being honest with herself, she was beginning to think that Carlisle was afraid of her body.

"Are you alright?" Carlisle said for the second time, before leaning over and kissing her chin.

"Mm-hmm." Bella nodded and smiled at him. "Just coming down, that's all."

Carlisle's eyes became sad and regretful. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to disappoint you."

"You don't." Bella scooted backward so that she was sitting up against her headboard. "I knew this was going to take us a little time, getting used to each other this way. But…"

"But what?"

"Well, sometimes I think things go awry because you're being too careful."

"Bella, I don't want to hurt you."

"I got bruised a couple times, Carlisle. That's fine. When you take it slow like this, I get hurt less lastingly – but it changes the mood. Or, maybe, the mood isn't completely there to begin with?"

"Bella—"

"Wait, listen. We've had more success when it's been spontaneous and natural than when we're trying to take advantage of an opportunity because our schedules allow for one. Think about it. Don't you agree?"

"Yes, actually, that is something I've noticed. So let's try something different."

"Okay, like what?"

"I'd very much like to take you out on a date, Bella."

Bella blinked. "Wow. We really haven't been out on a date yet?"

Carlisle smiled. "Hard to believe, isn't it?"

"Yeah. But you're right; we haven't."

"Movies? Dancing?"

"Um… there aren't really any good movies to see right now. And, me, dancing?"

"It'd be a different way to get physically comfortable with one another."

"Well, that's a point. Now you have me actually considering it – but where would we go dancing? Wait, do you mean to a club?"

"Um, not quite what I was thinking, but it's a possibility if you're interested."

"Er, no, I don't think so. What were you thinking?"

"A coworker of mine has a cousin that performs in a contra band. It's a style similar to Regency dance."

"Like Jane Austen?"

"Yes. With maybe a touch of square dancing."

Bella's excitement fizzled. "You're kidding."

"I think you might be surprised, Bella."

"_I think you'd like contra dancing, Bella. Come with me tonight!"_ Bella closed her eyes at the sudden memory of Ramesh. He'd tried and failed to convince her to try it out with him years ago. She'd had too much studying, was dead-set against dancing, and he hadn't asked her again. Bella wished she'd gone with him.

"Bella? Are you alright?"

Bella opened her eyes and smiled. "I'm fine. Let's go contra dancing, Carlisle. I think that they do those at the college, don't they?"

"I wouldn't be surprised," Carlisle said, "but we don't have to go there if you don't want to."

"Knock, knock." Bella looked up at the sound of Alice's voice as she opened up Bella's door. "Are you two talking about contra dancing? I want in."

As Alice entered, Bella glanced down at her nightwear to make sure she didn't look indecent. Giving herself the all clear, she scooted over and let Alice plop on a spot beside her on the bed. "You mean you want to horn in on our first date?"

"Mm-hmm. A group of four is an asset to the contra."

Bella started to respond, but then Carlisle laughed and Alice rolled her eyes. Bella frowned at them. "Am I missing something?"

"Sorry, Bella, I spoke out of your hearing." Jasper appeared in the doorframe, Alice having left the door ajar. "I said that Alice just wanted a chance shake her ass in public."

"There is no ass-shaking in contra dancing," Carlisle pointed out.

"No, but I _do_ want to be twirling on the dance floor with Jasper." Alice gave Bella a rueful smile. "The two of you aren't the only couple trapped in the house. Besides, it's healthy to double date; it keeps you, as a couple, from getting into a rut."

"Are we in a rut?" Carlisle asked, holding Bella's hand and stroking it with his thumb. _Mmm, _Bella thought.

"_We_ are," Alice pointed to herself and Jasper. "Let's all go contra dancing, please?"

(~*~)

All six of them were going contra dancing. For a couple different reasons, they chose to go to Montpelier. One was because Bella just wanted away from the college. Another was that Maggie and Esme were comfortable in that city as a couple, where they didn't need to pretend to be cousins. The next contra dance landed on the Friday evening that started Bella's Spring Break. As it turned out March 20th became a momentous day.

The cry was loud enough to bring Bella running from her bedroom. Indeed, the whole house came running to find what had made Esme call out. When Bella made it into the kitchen, Esme was sitting on a stool, her laptop open on the island. Her hands were covering her face and she was shaking her head. "I don't believe it. I don't believe it." She said it over and over again.

Having looked at the laptop screen Maggie wrapped her arms around Esme. "My darling! My darling."

Esme dropped her hands and in the brief glimpse of her face before she grabbed Maggie and kissed her Bella was surprised to discover that Esme was _laughing_.

"What is it?" Bella asked. She tried to see the laptop, but couldn't.

"It passed," Carlisle said, wonderment in his voice.

"It passed?"

"Of course it passed." Alice was as chirpy as usual.

"It passed!" Esme shouted, breaking her lips away from Maggie and getting off her chair to pull Alice into their hug.

"26 to 4. The State Senate just passed the marriage bill."

"Oh my God!" And Bella was pulled into the group hug, too.

"It still needs to go through the Vermont House of Representatives."

"Don't be a killjoy," Carlisle said to Jasper around the laughing and screaming ladies who were hugging and jumping in a circle.

"Oh, Alice, I'm so glad I didn't have you tell me!"

"What, you don't want to know that the House will pass it, too? Two weeks from now, 95 to 52."

"95 to 52!" Esme was shaking with joy.

"Or thereabouts."

"Alice, tell us everything," Maggie said. "First it was Massachusetts 6 years ago, then Connecticut last year. Iowa. Various states, back and forth, approved, vetoed, delayed. And now the state in which we live. I've been waiting for all this to backfire, and I just don't want to wait anymore. Tell us, please."

"Governor Douglas will veto, but it will be overridden the very next day. New Hampshire will happen this year, too. There'll be more states, and more pushback. It's still an ongoing battle, but, Maggie… Esme… it's going to stay around. The marriages that have already taken place are not going to be invalidated."

Esme covered her face again. Bella and Alice stepped away as Maggie determinedly pulled Esme's hands back. "Esme," she said. "My beautiful, wonderful Esme. Marry me, be my wife."

"Only if you will be my wife!" And Esme threw her arms around Maggie, who kissed her immediately.

Bella cried for all of them.

Laughing again — or still — Esme pulled them all back into a hug. "Hey everybody, let's go dancing tonight!"

(~*~)

Maggie and Esme stayed behind in Montpelier, getting themselves a room for the weekend. Bella was so happy for them, and, oh her body was tired. She felt better after the hour's drive home. Back in her room, nighttime routine completed, she was just ready to undress. But she stopped to look in her mirror. She'd put on a skirt for their date, for the dancing. She was wearing skirts a bit more often these days, despite the cold weather. Bella wondered if that meant anything.

"You look beautiful tonight," Carlisle said. He'd been sitting at her desk when she came in.

Bella smiled at him. "I guess I better believe you. You've said it more than once tonight."

"I couldn't help myself. I enjoyed being out with you."

Bella was looking in her mirror again, taking off her earrings. "It _was_ fun." Bella chose not to bring up the muscle she'd slightly pulled in her neck the first time someone other than Carlisle tried to swing her.

She didn't need to. Carlisle came up behind her and touched the spot. "Is it still hurting you?"

"Not really," she answered. Her voice was soft, but she was beginning to feel less tired. There was something about seeing Carlisle standing behind her, seeing the two of them together. The way he was looking at her through the mirror, she could tell that Carlisle was feeling it, too. "I love you," she said.

Slowly Carlisle took a step closer. Bella could see him and feel him. From behind, he put his arms around her, still moving slowly. The touch was more than an expression of love, and Bella's breath caught.

She closed her eyes, because keeping them open would have been too hard. The feeling created by him touching her demanded that no attention be paid to her other senses. She couldn't see, couldn't hear, couldn't even smell him. The only taste was the absence of what she wanted. Her body became its own sense: the tingle between her legs, heavily dancing onto her thighs and lower back, the arms and hands that needed to reach and bring him closer.

Bella opened her eyes and her body spoke through them. His eyes were darkening to whiskey in the simmering contact with hers. She knew he felt what she felt, knew that she didn't have to hold back from sharing her needs. Bella pressed the advantage. "I want you," she said aloud.

Carlisle didn't look away from her eyes. He touched her hair, letting the locks flow over his fingers before sweeping them away from her neck. With the arm still around her waist, he pulled her in flush against his chest, fingers lightly stroking. Still meeting her gaze in the mirror, he kissed her exposed neck.

Bella's breath shuddered. She could see the increased rise and fall of her chest in the mirror as Carlisle continued to kiss along her neck. Then both of them, at once, closed their eyes.

She moved against him as he kissed her, her back to his chest, her butt to his thighs, trying to get as close as possible. His hand slowly moved down her waist, crossing over her. She gasped but he moved on to stop at her thigh. His fingers bunched the fabric of her skirt. Bella let out a moan and moved her neck, switched his access to her other side. Carlisle moved with her, anticipating, and kissed the untouched skin. Both his hands were stroking her thighs now, slowly raising the skirt.

He knew he shouldn't, that it wasn't the best decision. But she was so warm against his chest, smelled so sweet he could practically taste her musk. It was her need for him, and his need not only for her, but to please her, that carried him to move his fingers beneath her skirt. To touch her.

Bella gasped and moved against his fingers, rising to her toes. Her soft, round bottom stroked his thighs. The moan in her throat reverberated against his lips. The fabric protecting her was wet, and Carlisle moved it aside.

"Yes," Bella hissed. "Oh, yes." One arm locked around his neck, and her other hand clasped the back of his, keeping him between her legs, moving with it. "Carlisle." She felt so soft, so warm, so wet that he moaned. Moaned when she moved her head, moaned when he kissed his own name escaping from her lips as she moved herself along his fingers. His erection was pressing against her lower back, and she moved deliberately against it, up and down with each strain of her legs.

He wanted her.

His fingers moved faster and she sped up, matching, passing, her breath was getting heavier — and God help him, he did it. He licked the sweat he saw begin to bead on her. She felt so good on his fingers, so wonderful against his cock. She worked her body against him, holding his hand against her, rubbing her clit wherever she could make friction. Her moaning became gasping and for a second it sounded like pain. And he reminded himself his fingers would hurt her more than any other part of his body.

Carlisle slipped his hand out from under Bella's and pulled it away.

"What?" Breathing heavy, Bella opened her eyes. She saw her own reflection first. Her brow was sweaty, her eyelids low and her chest was heaving. Her skirt was falling down, caught only by her hand that was still loosely there. Carlisle was behind her, her arm still around his neck. He seemed such a contrast, upright while she slouched, still while her whole body moved with each attempt to recapture oxygen.

"I don't want to hurt you," he spoke lowly, his eyes hooded.

His complexion was smooth and dry, while she was flushed and had begun to sweat. Bella could only see their differences in appearance. What was happening between them was intense, more intense than just about anything she'd done with him before, and he looked as though he was next to unaffected by it. He was turned on, absolutely, but he didn't want her like she wanted him. It was there to see before her eyes.

"You don't want me?" she breathed, shocked and hurt.

"Of course I want you." The genuine surprise in his tone was lost on Bella. She was coming down from her arousal, and it was painful.

"You don't look like it. Oh, God." She stepped aside, turning so that she was facing him without the mirror, backing away from him. "Is this how it really is?"

"Is what how it— No, Bella, I want you. I want you so much I'm not using reason. I could hurt you with my hand."

"I wasn't hurting!" It was a lie; her insides were a bit sore, and not entirely in a pleasant way. "I loved it. I wanted more." Bella bumped into the bed, and stopped.

"So did I." Carlisle moved in, not letting her get away. "Bella, please don't ever doubt how much I love and want you."

"I don't want to." Bella covered her face. "I'm sorry. I'm angry and I'm frustrated and I…" She took a deep breath and lowered her hands. "I'm just coming down."

"Don't." Carlisle was in front of her now. "I love you." He kissed her, emotion packed into the pressure of his lips on hers. She gave in, opening her mouth, sucking on his upper lip as he pulled on her lower. "I want you," he said, his hands curving along her hips. Bella kissed him back, and when he leaned into her, fell backward upon the bed. He was over her, kissing her, and God, she loved the feeling of him on top of her. Kissing him and kissing him, Bella opened her legs to get on the outside of his, but her skirt hampered her. Still kissing her, licking her, Carlisle leaned the lower half of his body away to lift up her skirt. Feeling the cloth move on her thighs made Bella grow even more wet, remembering how her skirt had lifted just a few minutes ago. "I love you," Carlisle said, moving down her body, his hair falling forward and caressing her along the path he took. His hands were at her hips again, only this time under the fabric. "I want you." He pulled down her underwear. "Always."

And it was his mouth again. Between her legs, making her flesh dance, her hips undulate. And Bella accepted it. Her hands went to her sides, covering his as they had done before.

"Carlisle," she cried, and it was part weeping, because though it felt good and she wanted this, loved him there, it wasn't enough. She wanted his body between her legs, not just his face. She wanted to feel more penetration, wanted his colder body inside hers. Her body dictated to her mind, and she imagined his tongue longer and thicker, his thighs hitting hers while he moved in and out. She felt the real, delicious touch of him on her clit and her body let go, fantasy and reality intermixing to bring about the little death. As though from a distance Bella heard Carlisle's happy growl.

There was a tear in her eye when she returned fully to herself again. Bella tried to ignore it, but she knew why it was there. And she stared at the ceiling above her bed as Carlisle crawled back up to be beside. He smelled so damn good; it made her heart hurt how much she wanted him.

"For a moment there I thought…" Bella didn't finish. She took another moment, getting her breathing under control. "Carlisle, I want to have sex with you."

"I know," Carlisle answered, but Bella couldn't read his tone.

She rolled over onto her side and looked at him. His face was completely open to her. It was amazing to her how sometimes just seeing his face made her heart swell. This was Carlisle, her love. He smiled at her, with one finger stroked her cheek. She smiled into it, and kissed his fingertip when it reached her chin. His love for her shone back at her, almost but not quite covering his worry. And his desire was definitely still present.

"I'm not afraid, you know." Bella put her hand on his chest, and lay her head down. "I'm not afraid of your body." And her hand slid down, maneuvering beneath his belt-tightened waistband until she found what she was looking for. "See?" she said, grasping him.

Carlisle gasped at the contact. "Bella…"

"It's okay," she said softly, and leaned in to kiss him as she stroked his erection. Carlisle's eyes closed on a groan, and she kissed him again, tenderly. His hands came up and slid into her hair, holding her as he kissed her back. Bella sighed into him. It was so easy to lose herself in his taste, drink him in. "I love you."

"Bella, I love you."

And they kissed slowly while she stroked him. She kept it gentle, easy. He felt amazing in her hand. His flesh was otherworldly smooth and hard, yet soft enough to respond when she gave a squeeze. Bella had both the urge to suck him into her mouth and to get on top and ride him, but she fought them down. This was about something different now, more than just her needs. It was about the kiss, and the connection. The love they felt for each other, growing between them, nurtured with each touch of their lips.

Bella shifted, moved so that her body was over Carlisle's.

"Bella," he said, part protest, part plea, but more reverent than anything else.

Bella moved her hand out of his pants. "Trust me," she whispered against his lips. She knew that what she was planning was worthy of his trust. It was right, right for him, right for the moment, and right for them. Kissing him again, her hands undid the buckle of his belt. That was all. Placing her hands on either side of Carlisle's body, she kissed him. And kissed him.

His arms came around her, and he kissed her back. Not stopping, never stopping. It was all about the next kiss. The room got hotter. She got warmer and her heat surrounded his whole body. Arms still around her, he sat them up, kissing her. Tasting her mouth because all his mouth wanted was hers. Bella's knees bent as her legs fell to either side of him. He pulled her in by the hips and moaned as she touched him. He could feel her wet softness through the crotch of his pants. And she moved, moved herself against him and for a moment Carlisle thought he might lose his mind. He kissed Bella and whimpered as she moved again. He felt his buckle come in contact with her thigh, and his arms left her to pull the thing off of him.

His pants remained on though, stayed on as she kissed him again, as she pushed him onto his back. Thighs still on either side of him, she pressed herself against him, and he pushed against her. So close, oh so close, the tip of him could have been inside her, even through the clothes.

He released her mouth on a gasp, needing to intake breath to counteract the sheer joy and intensity. Bella stopped moving, let him gather himself. Then she moved against him once — just once — letting her body almost take the tip of him in again before moving away. She lowered her head to kiss him, and he pulled her closer, hands on her back. Her legs straightened out so that she was over him instead of straddling him, and it was beautiful to have her whole body so close to his. He kissed her, drank from her and she drank from him.

Bella moved again, raising her waist so that it was actually closer to Carlisle's navel. She had to let go of his mouth, suddenly taller than him. But then her point found his tip and she moved them against each other. They both gasped. She did it again, and again, and he moved his hips to meet her, grinding. Their hands clung to each other's bodies as the humping continued.

Oh, the sounds Carlisle was making. He grabbed her hips, moving them so that he could press his erection into her clit over and over. Her body was flat over his, and they slid along one other, driving to that mad pulse of pleasure between their legs.

"God, Bella," Carlisle said.

"Carlisle, yes." She could do this all night. "It feels so good."

"It does. God, Bella, I love you."

"Feel me, Carlisle. Make me feel how much you love me."

Carlisle grunted, and the contact he made against her clit made her gasp and emit a single laugh of joy.

"Oh, Carlisle, yes. I love you." It felt so good. "I love this. I want to do everything with you."

"Unh. Unh."

"I love you. I want more. I want to suck you into my mouth. Soon, please, yes, soon."

"Unn-nnh."

"And I want to feel you inside me."

"Yes," he cried loudly, and Bella felt the already wet fabric between them get even wetter. The smell was incredible, triple the intensity of the way he tasted, and it made her mouth water.

"Oh my." Unable to help herself, Bella pressed her flesh against it, moving in small circles, celebrating his orgasm, not caring that she had not had another of her own.

Carlisle laughed and rolled her. On top, he smiled down at her. Bella smiled back up at him.

"I love you," she said.

"I love you." Carlisle leaned down and kissed her lips. "Always."

Bella was still smiling when she opened her eyes and saw him gazing at her. "What?"

"You want to suck me into your mouth?"

Bella lifted her chin. "Yes."

"You want me inside of you?"

"Yes."

"Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow."

And they both laughed.

(~*~)

The sky was clouded over. Bella saw only gray and white over the treetops. Warmer weather had moved in to Vermont, and today the clouds promised rain instead of snow. Funny, how the day could look so drab when Bella knew it was going to be anything but.

"We're going to go into New York, I think."

"City?" Bella asked, turning away from the window.

"No," Jasper answered for Alice. "Not that far, northern New York."

"Jasper doesn't really want to deal with the big city. Neither do I, for that matter. This weekend is one for intimacy, and I think northern New York will do just nicely for us."

"Carlisle and I don't mean to kick you out," Bella said. She sat on the edge of their bed, watching as Alice gathered various things from their drawers and closet.

"You're not. We're happy to go. It's about time."

Bella tried not to blush, but there was no hiding it from Jasper.

"No need to be embarrassed, Bella," he said. He put his hand on her shoulder, and Bella could feel the boost in confidence.

"All done," Alice said, zipping up her bag. "Let's go, Jazz. I want to be long gone before Carlisle gets home from work."

Bella followed them down to the front door, and with a quick kiss goodbye each, Alice and Jasper were gone.

Bella took a deep breath and, after turning a circle, went upstairs to prepare a bath.

(~*~)

Maine

He'd only had his uncle, and been thankful for it. His parents had died in a car accident when he was four. He remembered them only vaguely, but despite that he still loved them. Uncle Harold was full of wild and sometimes raunchy tales of youth mishaps with his younger brother. His favorite was of a time when they'd pulled a prank on a friend of theirs the eve of his wedding, resulting in the groom walking through the town wearing only boxer shorts and strawberry syrup.

Both brothers had died too young. Uncle Harold might have been old by another's standard, but in his opinion no one should die of a heart attack at 57. There had been so much life in him.

He knew he shouldn't be out here alone, but solitude was something he needed. Out here in the snow, in the quiet of the undeveloped land, he felt his uncle's presence most. And he knew that seeing Ursa and her cubs would calm him. He wasn't on duty; he didn't have to weigh them today. At two months old, he'd wager they'd only be about 18 pounds anyway.

Ursa herself had only been a cub when they'd first tagged her. She was one of his first professional tags. He'd been just a teenager, following in his uncle's footsteps working for the MDIFW. After four years, he was the only creature she'd known since birth who was still alive.

He easily found the den where she'd chosen to hibernate and give birth, despite the fact that snow had accumulated since his last visit. It would probably now be about six and a half feet deep.

Ursa was highly agitated. A snuffle and a blinking stare was what he was used to seeing from her during hibernation. Not this time. She growled from inside her snow den as he slid in. He stopped, surprised.

"Easy girl, it's just me," he said softly. Not moving, he waited for his cue. Ursa was silent. He considered backing away, but then became concerned that one of the cubs was hurt or doing poorly. He hadn't seen any tracks, so there was no one else around to have caused Ursa to be tense. Convinced she needed his help, he decided to move further in. If she postured, he'd get out of there.

What he didn't know was that Ursa sensed danger nearby and not even the smell of a familiar human was going to make her pause in protecting her cubs.

(~*~)

It was eerily quiet in the house. Bella didn't think that she'd ever been totally alone in it before. She checked her cell again, still afraid that Carlisle would text to say they were making him work an extra shift.

She'd taken a long, hot, bubble bath. Shaved her legs, rubbed lotion into her skin so that she would smell nice and feel soft for him. She knew she always did, but this was special.

But it was planned. Would it go wrong just because it was planned?

When she remembered the previous night, it was hard to believe that anything would go wrong. It was all there between them; she got turned on just thinking about it.

Her phone rang.

"Carlisle?"

"I'm on my way home."

"Yesss. I'm waiting for you."

A dance of joy, mostly in her stomach.

She kissed him when he came in the door, and he was expecting it. They kissed up against the wooden rack that held the coat hooks.

They kissed more in the kitchen, which is where Bella kicked off her shoes.

Carlisle's labcoat was left in the living room.

He took her panties off on the stairs.

"Oh, God…"

His belt joined them when she returned the gesture.

By his necktie Bella pulled him into the bathroom. And it was there, his shirt untucked, his pants still on but unzipped and open, that Bella finally got to take him into her mouth.

"Bella!" Carlisle cried, hands in her hair.

"Don't even think…" Bella broke away to say. Then she continued sucking him, pulling on him with her mouth, back and forth, her hands touching every bit of him her mouth wasn't. He was smooth and wet, deliciously cool, celestially hers, and she took him for several repetitions until she pulled back to run her tongue around his tip. "…of stopping me."

"No," Carlisle breathed. "I won't."

Laughing breathlessly, Bella stopped and pulled him by the necktie again. This time into her room. And she didn't get the chance to do anything new once the door shut.

Her dress was a button down, and Carlisle was working the top buttons. He was behind her, his erection pressing into her backside. While one hand was on the buttons, the other was up her skirt. Bella's thighs were open, her knees bent as her body leaned back into him. Then one hand was on her breast while his other hand worked between her legs.

Bella gasped. Her body was dancing this dance, knowing it was going to reach the ending it wanted. "You won't hurt me," she said as she moved against his hand.

"I won't." They moved like that a little more, and then Carlisle picked her up and laid her on the bed.

She was on her back, his body over hers. There was no bra under the dress, so her breasts lay exposed. Carlisle made eye contact with her, and the need she could feel coming from him definitely matched her own. Then he sucked her nipple into his mouth.

Her entire body reacted. Everything, from her toes and ankles, to her neck and head, tingled in a moving rush of pleasure toward his mouth. His hand stroked her thigh, and she moved to grab him, stroke him in return.

"Bella," Carlisle groaned.

"Don't stop," she begged, but let go herself because the angle was awkward.

"No," Carlisle said softly before pressing his mouth again to her breast.

Bella moaned, and her hands went to his back, bunching the fabric of his shirt between her fingers. His hands rose above her thighs, still under the fabric of her dress.

"Don't stop. Carlisle, don't stop," Bella panted. Everything was going beautifully out of control. Bella wanted to feel Carlisle this close to her, touching her, forever.

"I won't. I can't." Carlisle's lips whispered against her skin as he…

Then he stopped. His whole body stilled in position over her, his hands remaining on her hips. He didn't move at all.

"Carlisle?" Bella asked, confused. She started to come out of her haze, and realized that Carlisle's face was turned, his head cocked as though listening. "What is it?"

"Something's wrong," he said. Carlisle closed his eyes and hung his head. Bella could feel his whole body tremble and stop before he opened his eyes again. Caressing Bella's hips gently, he pulled the skirt of her dress back into place and moved off of her. "It's Rosalie."

"Rosalie?" Bella sat up. "She's _here_?"

"Yes," Carlisle answered, and he was heading for the door the next instant. "She's not alone."

Then, from outside, Bella just barely heard what could only be Rosalie's voice coming closer. "_Carlisle! Help me!_"

* * *

**Knock. Knock.**

**Who's there?**

**Interrupting cow.**

**Interrupting c-**

**Moo!**

**I've waited three years to tell that joke. ;)**

**The comment in this chapter Tanya makes about Carlisle looking at his semen under the microscope is based on a joke that gisellelx tweeted a long time ago, which I never forgot.**

**Historical accuracy: On Friday March 20th 2009 it was unanimously recommended to the Vermont State Senate by their subcommittee that the marriage bill allowing for same-sex couples be passed. The Senate had to wait for Monday the 23rd to actually do it.**

**Big thanks to Worm, Serendipitous, M, Pagly, E, B, Miao, Nix, Jen, KT, Roja, MeraNaam, Mina R… Old, constant, and new friends, my husband, all the readers. **

**I've appreciated every review that came in letting me know that people were still interested as time dragged I went through draft after draft of Chapter 31. I believe there are currently 10 different versions on my computer.**

**Thanks, as ever, goes to AllTheOtherNamesAreUsed, my amazing beta who juggles a lot, and puts up with me like a true friend. **

**Knock, knock. Who's there?**

**Next chapter… Emmett.**


	32. Chapter 32

~*~ Chapter Thirty-Two ~*~

It was dark. The lights were all out as Bella stumbled her way downstairs, following after Carlisle. Her bedroom door had closed behind her, leaving only a sliver of light by which to see the stairs. She stumbled halfway down and had to catch herself on the railing. Her foot had touched something, some clothing, hers or Carlisle's, she couldn't remember. They hadn't needed or cared about the lights, but now part of Bella wished that they'd turned at least one on.

By touch alone, Bella hurriedly buttoned her dress, skipping a hole or two. She could hear that Rosalie was in the living room. The rain was coming down too hard outside for her to make out words or another voice. Whomever Rosalie had brought with her, it wasn't likely to be Edward, Bella thought, or Carlisle would have said so.

Bella's eyes began to adjust, and in the living room she could make out three forms. Two of them were obviously Carlisle and Rosalie. The third was on the floor. It was a man, but he was too large and muscular to be Edward. Rosalie was crouched down near him, and there was something distorted about the way they overlapped.

An unpleasant smell reached Bella, disturbingly of rust and salt. The room became darker and felt further away. Bella blinked, trying to regain focus. She could barely make out what Carlisle and Rosalie were saying.

"Where did you find him?"

"In Maine. You were closer than a hospital."

"Rosalie, I'm sure that there was a hospital closer. He would have had a better chance there."

There was really something odd about Rosalie and the man she'd brought with her. Some odd round shapes behind him. Was that some sort of backpack? Why was Rosalie so close to him?

"…explain a man mauled like this… "

The smell was overwhelming. It made Bella light-headed. She should have eaten today, but she had been too nervous and worried about the evening. _What _was_ that?_

Bella reached for the light switch, missed the first time. Then she hit it.

The room flooded with artificial light.

Rosalie's long blonde hair was ragged and wet. Her black, black eyes were a deep contrast to the pale, pale skin of her face. The shadows beneath her eyes made them look larger — but worse, there was a wildness in them. Rosalie looked almost feral, and it caused a spike of fear in Bella.

Rosalie wasn't crouched _next to_ the young man she'd brought in; she held him in her lap, her hand clamped across his neck. Streaks of wet and dried blood striped her hand from between her fingers. It was her arm Bella had seen, not part of a backpack.

No, it wasn't a backpack at all. A rock formed in Bella's throat. The man's nose wasn't in the right place. Half of it was where there should have only been a cheek. Blood and bone were visible in the gap between. Worse, far worse, was his head. His scalp was almost completely detached and it hung open as though on a hinge, revealing raw red and pale yellow inner flesh under what had been — still was — his black hair.

Both he and Rosalie were covered in his blood. The rain on their bodies had made it more prominent rather than washing it away.

"Did you do this?" Bella breathed the question without thought. For in that moment Bella truly believed that the Rosalie she saw before her was capable of this.

"I'm trying to save him." Rosalie's voice rose on the last word in a scream, high-pitched and desperate. There was a banshee in the house tonight.

Carlisle, who was crouched near to them both, touched the badge on the arm of the young man's torn jacket. "Maine Department of Inland Fisheries and Wildlife. Were there other humans around?"

Rosalie shook her head, the ragged hair flowing oddly around her face. "No one close."

"Are you certain? Game wardens don't go checking bear dens alone."

"Carlisle, he was all alone. Will you save him?"

Carlisle stood up to look at Bella. His eyes had become as black as Rosalie's. The sight of them created that same spike of fear, and Bella pressed closer to the wall.

Carlisle turned back to Rosalie, distress woven through his tone. "Why did you bring him to me?"

There was a grunting, choking noise. It drew Bella's gaze back to the unknown young man. His eyes opened. Those eyes — in _that_ face, under _that_ scalp — opened. And they were so human.

This stranger wearing hiking boots, jeans, and a Maine game warden jacket — he was just a guy, someone who had lived some sort of normal life. Now he was dying in their house, deformed, and this strange creature-Rosalie was begging Carlisle to make him like them. Bella weaved, the hand she still had pressed to the wall taking her weight. The scent of rust and salt continued to press in on her, and she became fairly certain that she was going to pass out.

"… I can't, Carlisle. I know I won't stop…"

The stranger's eyes were directed at Rosalie and Carlisle. What was he seeing? Bella wondered. Could he even follow their conversation through the pain he was obviously feeling? Had he been awake the whole time Rosalie had carried him here? From Maine, that must have been at least 200 miles — in the arms of _that_ female.

His mouth began to move, just the littlest bit, then gaining strength. "Are… Are… you a-angels?" The flesh where his nose had been sagged further away from the bone when he spoke.

Bella's knees felt weak.

Rosalie made a sound in her throat as she lowered her gaze to look down on him. "You are mine," she answered him. "And I'm so sorry. But Carlisle is going to help you and then everything will be fine."

His eyes closed again.

Rosalie looked up, directly at Carlisle. Whatever humanity Bella had sensed in her a moment ago was gone, replaced with the Rosalie-creature. "Carlisle, you owe me," she said lowly.

It was a tone Bella had heard before. Her knees no longer felt weak, and Bella straightened. "Carlisle owes you nothing!" Bella shouted out. "He will do what's right because he knows it to be right. Don't you dare try to manipulate him."

Rising, still keeping her hand over the neck wound, Rosalie hissed at Bella. "Don't even think about trying to come in between me and what I want."

"You will not threaten Bella." Carlisle turned a dark gaze on Rosalie.

"Carlisle, please," Rosalie said, "you can save him. He deserves to be saved."

"You did this to him, didn't you?" Bella pressed. "A bear? There are only black bears around here and they don't attack people. You provoked it."

"I just needed to see him! I needed to get a closer look at him!"

"And this is what happened! You're a monster, Rosalie." As soon as it was said, Bella's mind reeled. What was she saying? Rosalie was family to her; why was she feeling all this antagonism all of a sudden? Bella clutched at the front of her misbuttoned dress, trying to regain control of the emotions that were running wild in her.

Rosalie glared, but then she dismissed Bella, turning back to Carlisle. "Please."

Instead of answering, Carlisle looked at Bella. Bella couldn't read him. She tried to imagine what he'd be feeling right now. Was he reeling inside as much as she was from this abrupt change in events? Why was he looking at her? Carlisle started to speak, obviously hesitating.

"You can't leave me to this existence alone anymore," Rosalie continued. "You did this to me and you need to make up for it. You need to give me him."

"I said don't manipulate him, you bitch!" Bella strode forward without thinking, fists clenched by her sides.

Eyes locked on Bella, Rosalie lowered the man's torso onto the floor at Carlisle's feet. Her blood-covered hand released his neck and fresh blood not yet clotted oozed out onto the carpet. "Giving me orders? _Now_? You pathetic _little_ human—"

She didn't finish. Rosalie was knocked backward into the couch, and both crashed into the wall with a loud _bang_.

There was a slight flash of red when Carlisle's hand returned to putting pressure on the young man's throat. "Another move against Bella, and I will not help you," he said.

Bella looked from Rosalie to Carlisle, trying to comprehend both the real and implied violence that just happened, including her own. But her reaction was nothing compared to Rosalie's and Carlisle's. Hers, at least, was human. The spikes came again, in rapid succession. Bella backed away, a step at a time, returning to her spot by the wall.

Bella pressed her lips together and shook her head, trying to clear it. The room was too tense, the smell too strong. The rain pounded from outside, hitting the roof and walls and windows.

"Bella," Carlisle called her attention to him. His strange eyes were pleading.

"Carlisle," Bella answered, not understanding what he wanted from her, not understanding why he was hesitating, what those other emotions coming at her from him were. There was only one option here, and _her_ Carlisle should know that. "Help him."

Carlisle nodded and refocused his attention on the human he was crouched beside. His hands moved to the shredded cloth on the shoulder and gently ripped the jacket open even further. He did the same with the shirt underneath. In a sped-up-frame movement that Bella had only seen in movies, Carlisle's head lowered to the exposed shoulder, and his teeth bit in.

There was a scream, the kind of scream Bella had never heard. Not in a movie, most certainly not in real life. Only this was real. The gurgling pain coming from the torn and bloody stranger's throat was very, _very_ real.

Carlisle released his venom into the twice-victim lying on the Cullen family living room floor. The stranger jerked, the gurgle becoming guttural. Carlisle held on: his mouth intimate on the skin, his arm across the man's torso, holding him close with his porcelain hand wrapped around the torn flannel shoulder.

The back of Carlisle's head moved in a slight arch, as if reacting to taking in pleasure. In another camera film trickery moment Carlisle's head was no longer pressed against the stranger. The man was screaming, thrashing as though acid was eating him out from the inside. The deep guttural scream felt like it was tearing Bella apart. The guy's eyes were open, spilling around in their sockets, almost as if no nerves were holding them in place, the mind behind the eyes gone to pain.

Bella couldn't watch. Instead she looked at Carlisle. His hungry gaze remained on the growling human that jerked and squirmed at his knees. Carlisle's eyes were as black as she'd ever seen them, like a pool of dark red blood that had been exposed to the air too long. But the red wasn't actually in his eyes; a trick of her mind must have put it there. The red dripped from Carlisle's mouth, covering his chin.

Bella wasn't aware of making a noise, though she might have given a small gasp. Carlisle suddenly stood, facing her, his necktie askew, shirt still undone, pants still unfastened. His eyes in that second as he looked at her — hunger, desire, _vampire_ — his hands were shaking. And then he wasn't across the room anymore.

He kissed her. It was too much, too fast. The inside of her lips cut against her teeth. When Carlisle opened her mouth with his, the blood of the man on the floor mixed with her own. They overwhelmed the moonlight. It wasn't natural; it was wrong. Bella cried in her throat and tried to free herself from the too strong man holding her.

Carlisle immediately released her. Bella didn't see the expression of hunger in Carlisle's eyes turn to one of anguish. She didn't see him lift his hand to his mouth.

Bella had turned and ran.

* * *

**A/N: In an effort to cut back on time between updates and keep a forward momentum, I've decided to have more, shorter chapters.**

**There was no beta for this chapter, but thanks are due to Worm and hubby for prereading.**

**Next chapter... what Carlisle knows has to happen now**


	33. Chapter 33

**Yup, I rewrote it. That's why you got a second notification for Chapter 33. As you already know, I've never pulled or reposted a chapter before. It's a breach of unspoken fanfiction posting rules between me the writer and you the reader, and I hope you forgive me for posting two days ago something I wasn't completely happy with. ****The basic plot remains the same; just how it is handled is now a bit different.**

**The advantage of the new review system FFN has is that you can still leave me your thoughts—including the offended, angry ones—even if you've already reviewed the earlier version. Just log out and put your name in at the top. **

**The rough plan is still about 38-40 chapters. **

**As before appreciation goes to ATONAU for a quick pre-read of a now much earlier draft of this chapter. (For the record, she didn't encourage my current rule breaking). The will power metaphor is accredited to psychologist Roy Baumeister.**

~*~Chapter Thirty-Three~*~

Bella let her feet carry her up the stairs. Quickly. Away from Carlisle, away from Rosalie. But the screams followed her. The house reverberated with them and there was no escape. Even though Bella's feet took her into her room, her hand shut the door behind her, her legs moved her onto the bed, and her face buried against her hugged knees—the screams still followed.

And blood stayed with her. Bella could taste the salty ridge and loose skin inside her lip where Carlisle's kiss had made her teeth cut. Her tongue ran along it, recognizing the abnormality.

_Strumming my pain…_

"Breathe, Bella," she said aloud.

_And there he was_

Seeing it again in a flash of her mind's eye, Carlisle rose from his crouched position on the floor, and struck Rosalie.

_This young boy_

Rosalie flew backward to the wall.

_A stranger to my eyes_

And Ramesh bounced off the car, landing on the hard black pavement.

From downstairs the deep masculine screams were ongoing.

_Strumming my pain…_

_ Killing me softly with his song…_

Bella's tongue worked against the abused flesh inside her mouth.

(~*~)

Downstairs in the living room, alongside Rosalie and his screaming new child, Carlisle was standing still, not moving.

In his studies Carlisle had once read a proposal by a psychologist on the idea that will power was like a muscle and overuse could temporarily exhaust it. He could personally attest now to there being some merit to the metaphor. Carlisle's self-control had snapped.

Making love to Bella was a precarious balance between luscious surrender and tight control. The closer he got to pleasure, the stronger he had to be to stay reined in. It was an inner battle of slack and rein that grew more massive with each touch. And tonight he'd been prepared for the ultimate sweet agony.

Then the scene had abruptly changed from love and pleasure to blood and near-death. His control had to adapt to the emergency. Already tightly stretched, it had grown more and more taut with each play on it.

Sex.

Rosalie's threatened violence against his mate.

And blood.

There was blood on his lips, a taste not even slightly sampled in decades, and it gave a flickering rise to a hunger long resisted. His inner battle had changed shape, back to the beginning pressure when his presiding desire was for the sex and taste of Bella. In the moment he'd finished releasing his venom into Rosalie's young man, Carlisle had lost control and moved to his mate, no thought but his need and want for her.

And he was desperate, for he had known the instant he'd seen Rosalie with the bleeding stranger in her arms that he was about to lose Bella. There could only be one reason Rosalie would show up with an almost-dead human, begging him for help. There had been two roads before him. The first, to help Rosalie, his child, who had always needed help more than any of his family but rarely gave him an opportunity to provide any. The second, to refuse. For there was no way Bella could stay in the house with a newborn, and if Carlisle delivered the venom, he was honor-bound to stay with the man.

There was no time to wait for anyone else to be the young man's sire, and Rosalie wouldn't do it. Wouldn't because she was a coward, Carlisle mused with a touch of bitterness, or wouldn't because she was so dark that only one taste could send her over the edge? That was the edge she was precariously perched on when she arrived.

No, Rosalie wasn't a coward, and Carlisle berated himself for allowing his emotional turmoil to lead him to even thinking such an uncharacteristic thought of his loved one. Rosalie was in a crucible and she had been asking him to help her through to the other side.

But at what cost? Only Bella could tell him that, and he'd made things worse. Kissing her roughly with the stranger's blood on his mouth and making _her_ bleed.

He'd tasted Bella's blood.

She'd run out of the room, up the stairs to where—not so long ago, but in a way an age ago—they'd been about to physically become one.

Bella had to leave. She couldn't stay in the house. But how far had he pushed her? When she left, would she be leaving him completely?

Carlisle withdrew into himself. He remained standing in the living room. Rosalie and the screams of the young man were his only company. He'd barely acknowledged the eventual arrival of the other members of his family. They'd all gone straight to Bella anyway.

(~*~)

Bella just barely sensed someone else in the room before a cool arm eased around her shoulders, offering comfort. Her body twitched away, and the arm withdrew.

Blinking, Bella raised her face from her knees. It wasn't Carlisle; she could tell by the smell. Confused, she turned her head.

"Esme?"

Esme smiled at her, sympathy showing in her kind face. "We're here."

"How…?"

"Alice called us." Maggie stood beside the bed, just behind Esme, all caring concern. "She and Jasper are on their way."

Bella's mouth fell open, and she scrambled off the bed. "She called you? Why didn't she call us? Why didn't she call _me_?"

"It was already happening, Bella. She didn't see it in time."

"Well, why the hell not?" Bella immediately regretted the words. There was no argument for events outside of control, and it was stupid to focus her ire on Alice, as well as to yell at Esme and Maggie. It's not as if her shouts could possibly drown out the screams coming from downstairs. The flash of anger left her eyes, and face crumbling, Bella turned away from them.

Esme's arm returned, wrapping around her shoulders, and guiding her back to the bed. Bella sat, the tears she'd been fighting beginning to shed. She wiped at them, but more came, slowly and silently falling.

"Bella," Esme's voice was gentle, "can you talk about it?"

Bella's jaw tightened and loosened. Her tongue absently played along the inside of her lip. It was a long moment before she finally answered. "I don't know how."

"Could you…" Esme tried again, but didn't finish. A scream reverberated with extra force and Bella covered her ears.

"I can't stand it!" Her voice cracked as she screeched. "I can't stay here."

"We know," Alice said from the door to the room, in chorus with Maggie speaking the same two words. Alice entered the room swiftly, Jasper moving in slowly behind her.

(~*~)

When Alice arrived in Bella's room, she found Esme and Maggie already there. Esme was sitting beside Bella on her bed, holding her while Bella wiped tears away. Bella seemed dazed, as though she hadn't quite gotten ahold of what was happening around her.

Alice didn't blame her. In fact, Alice wished she could comfort Bella as Esme was doing now. But they all had their parts to play and Alice's was to ease Bella's departure.

She couldn't stay. Rosalie had found her mate, and brought him to Carlisle to be changed. Now that Emmett was here, he wasn't going anywhere. And there were no possibilities that didn't result in Bella's death if she tried to stay in the house with a newborn. None.

And Carlisle would not be going with her. He would never leave behind someone he'd bitten, no matter how large a family of support existed around him. He was a man of honor, and would feel too keenly the responsibility.

Bella would be going. Carlisle would be staying. These things were self-evident.

So Alice began to pack.

(~*~)

"Alice," Bella sighed the name, ready for some answers. She watched as Alice moved into Bella's closet and pulled out one of her tote bags. "What's going on? Who did Rosalie bring here? Why did she do it?"

"His name is Emmett. And he'll be a part of our family very soon," Alice said.

Alice bussed about Bella's room, gathering and determining. Just hours ago Bella had watched Alice pack for herself and Jasper. Now Alice was packing for her, and it wasn't going to be only for a weekend. Not this time.

"_I'm_ part of this family."

"Of course you are, Bella. We all love you. But now that he's in this house, you can't be. Just for now. Just until we can teach him self-control."

"How long is that going to take?"

"I don't know." Alice turned to face Bella, watched her worrying the inside of her lower lip. "How long are _you_ going to need?"

Bella didn't say anything. Her eyes scanned the room, looking at the four of them: Jasper, Alice, Esme, Maggie. Bella didn't think that she'd ever had all of their eyes so focused on her, not even the night Carlisle and Bella had returned from the garage after confessing their feelings. They looked at her, all of them unnaturally pale with varying shades of golden eyes. They were her family—and they were not normal. The screaming downstairs made that more evident than ever. Screaming she had been planning on doing herself one day.

"I don't have an answer for that."

Alice nodded and continued to go through Bella's things.

"Jasper," Bella began, redirecting her focus from Alice. Looking at Jasper, she was suddenly forcibly reminded of the first time she'd ever laid eyes on him. He'd frightened her a little, when she'd turned in the cafeteria and seen him looking at her. His eyes had been dark then; he'd been hungry. And Bella had felt that he was dangerous, a feeling validated even more the night he had helped intimidate the guys who attacked her in the alley in Port Angeles. Yes, she'd thought Jasper was dangerous. Bella remembered the way Rosalie looked tonight, as even more screams reverberated through the house.

She'd had no idea.

Jasper strode toward her now, putting his hand on her arm. She looked into his eyes and saw the man that had sought her out four months ago, urging her to come back to the family. She saw the brother she'd joked about the disgusting habits of teenage boys with. Bella took a deep breath, then tried and failed to give him a shaky smile.

"Jasper, how long does it take for a newborn to adjust?"

"Months."

Bella closed her eyes and nodded, stepping away from him. Only to find herself being hugged by Maggie.

"Don't give up, dear," Maggie said, her curly red hair tickling Bella's face.

Even though she was grateful for the gesture, Bella didn't respond, but instead carefully eased away.

"You're all set, Bella." Alice had Bella's tote bag over her shoulder. "I'll put this in the car for you."

The moment hurt. Truthfully every moment had hurt since she'd run from the living room. She didn't want to be ready to go out the door yet. But the screams were an ever present reminder of why it was necessary.

"I'll take the bag," Bella said and held out her hand.

Alice looked like she was about to protest, but then she simply handed it over. Bella wrapped her hand around the strap, feeling the rough polyester-nylon of the fabric, the weight of it making her tighten the muscles in her arm.

And her heart squeezed painfully.

"Carlisle," she sighed very softly, but everyone heard her.

(~*~)

Carlisle came to her bedroom door. The others moved passed him out of the room, no one saying a thing. He still wore the clothes that he'd hastily put back on when Rosalie arrived. Instead of askew, his necktie was now completely undone. His shirt was buttoned and his pants were belted on. He must have picked his belt up from where they dropped it on the stairs. Funny, that she could remember now that was where it ended up, when she'd had no idea what she'd tripped over on the way down from her bedroom—before she'd been aware of the craziness about to happen.

Carlisle's expression was hard to bear. She didn't know if she'd ever seen him look so miserable and forlorn. Bella tightened her grip on her bag. This had to be taken slowly, one step at a time. She couldn't launch herself at him to comfort him when she felt just as miserable. And the last time one of them had launched themselves at the other, it hadn't gone well.

Once everyone had gone, leaving them to relative privacy, Carlisle spoke softly, but just loud enough to be heard over the screams.

"I am sorry for hurting you."

Belatedly, Bella realized that she was pushing her tongue against her inner lip again. She wondered if he'd noticed it. "It's fine."

"I shouldn't have touched you at all." Carlisle's words came in a rush. "It was out of line. I was out of line."

"Yes, you were… and no, you weren't." Bella sighed, and her grip loosened on her bag. But she didn't let go. "You were doing what you needed to do."

"Bella…"

"I have to leave." Bella gazed at him. His face was gaunter than usual, all pale, with shadows under his eyes and hollow cheeks.

"I know. It would be dangerous for you to stay."

"That is not the only reason I have to go."

Carlisle nodded. Bella knew that he understood, and was relieved not to have to speak aloud something she didn't really know how to find the words for. Carlisle's hand moved ever so slightly, as if he wanted to reach for her. Then it dropped by his side again.

Cautiously Bella stepped closer. It was hard to do at first, but then each step seemed to take itself, and soon she was standing directly in front of him. He was still her Carlisle. Being nearer to him remained comforting.

Bella closed her eyes briefly to take a deep breath, trying to forget that she was in a house full of screams. Trying to remember who she was—who _they_ were—before.

"Carlisle, what is happening to us?"

Suddenly the gauntness in his face was lessened. Carlisle touched her cheek, so softly she could barely tell his fingers were there. "I don't know. I am relieved there still is an 'us.'"

Bella leaned her cheek into his hand and looked up at Carlisle with angst-filled eyes. "Of course there's still an 'us.' Why would you…" She stopped as she realized the words she was about to utter were foolish.

Unable to help herself she stepped back, and started pacing the room. It only made things worse. She grew increasingly agitated, her sense of surroundings no longer grounded by his presence, anyone's presence but her whirling thoughts and the horrific screams of a man both healing and dying. She needed out of this house.

She needed to get away from the screams, from the memories that were ruining her calm. But she knew she would have to leave him behind, and she didn't know how she could find the strength to separate herself from him again. She didn't want to, but couldn't live here with him anymore.

"Carlisle," she said brokenly, and instantly he was there with her, his arms around her. "I love you." The spinning in her head stopped.

Carlisle kissed her hair, murmuring her name. "I love you more than anything. But I cannot change who I am."

"I know." She leaned into his chest. They were kneeling in the middle of her bedroom floor, and his chin came to rest on her head, the motion tucking her closer while he held her. She still had her bag in her hand. "I need a little time to figure out how to accept all of what loving you means." And with her free hand she gripped his arm, tight as she could. "But I am coming back."

Carlisle pulled back just far enough so that he could look down into her eyes.

Bella met his gaze, and she wished that she could have done so without a part of her inwardly flinching. Her humanity, something that she hadn't been aware it was even possible to feel, recognized danger. Though a new battle was being waged inside, love allowed her to reassert without absolute conviction. "I'm coming back, Carlisle."

Crouching on the bedroom floor, they held onto each other, knowing there wasn't much time before they had to let go.

(~*~)

Jasper leaned his shoulder against the wall, watching as Rosalie and Carlisle carried Emmett up the stairs, bringing him to the bed that until today, he had shared with Alice. Rosalie was emitting more strongly than usual, and some of the emotions coming at him were not what he was accustomed to sensing in her. There was the customary determination and low-level anger. Even apprehension and concern weren't too revolutionary. Hope, however, was something he'd never sense from his sister before.

Jasper gave a mental sigh once the three passed out of his sight, and he turned so that it was his back making contact with the wall. He let the emotions swirl beyond him, into the walls of the house that was bearing silent witness to the events occurring within.

For the last three years there had been the sweetness of Carlisle and Bella slowly growing closer, the impatience of the family around them—Jasper included, and then at last the joy of first discovery.

Bella's heart skipped a beat every time Carlisle would enter the same room. All could hear it, and see the rush of pleasure in her eyes. Carlisle's reaction was much the same—his body became more relaxed, his smile more at the ready. Everyone in the house tensed with anticipation until the two of them were beside each other, touching. It was never the same; each touch was different. Sometimes it was a hug, sometimes just the sides of their hands grazing each other. The milder touch was more intense, and the whole house could hardly wait for those fingers to finally entwine.

Their growing love and desire for each other permeated the home, a tension of pleasurable and happy anticipation. The house now held a tension of a different kind, and an anticipation that was not as pleasant. For all Rosalie's hope, and even the happiness that Alice held for her, Carlisle's grief and fear of losing Bella was stronger than it all.

So Jasper remained where he was, back against the wall, out of the path when Carlisle rushed down the stairs and out of the house.

(~*~)

Bella was trying hard not to cry. The rain was coming down on her windshield. It wasn't dawn yet. The darkness and the rain made it hard enough to see, and she took care to drive slowly. No, she wouldn't cry. Not yet. She would cry later, when she got to wherever she was going.

There was nothing but silence for the next mile. She'd almost gone two when she finally saw him. There was movement along the trees, running apace with the car. Bella eased her foot off the gas pedal. No other cars were around as she slowed and came to a complete stop in the middle of the road.

He'd slowed, too. Then he moved out of the woods and stood on the side of the road and just looked at her.

It was dark, and Carlisle was covered in rain, pale and wet. His hair clung to his scalp. If she were closer, she was certain she would see water dripping off of his face.

Bella understood now his resistance when Rosalie had asked him for help, why he had been silently asking her permission before he'd agreed. He knew that changing Emmett would change their lives, and that she would have to leave the house. Had he known the effect it would have on him? Or the one it would have on her?

In a few mere hours their lives had been completely overturned. It was unreal, and it was necessary. For better or worse, a man hadn't lost his life bleeding out on their living room carpet. That was one thing she couldn't bring herself to regret, as much as she wished that she could just get out of the car and go to Carlisle, for the two of them to go back to simply being blindly in love. As much as she wished that the long dormant self-preservation part of her instincts had not woken up to truly recognize the _otherness_ in the Cullens.

It wasn't so easy to be blind anymore.

For several long moments she and Carlisle stared at each other across the wet black asphalt.

Then Bella continued driving.

* * *

**Next chapter… some surprises while on the road**


	34. Chapter 34

~*~ Chapter Thirty-Four ~*~

Driving southeast, Bella originally wasn't completely sure where she was going to end up. Not Connecticut. Bella didn't want to go anywhere that was connected to memories of anyone. Nowhere a college friend was from; nowhere she'd been with the Cullens; nowhere there was family. _Just keep driving, Bella._

Bella drove south, one road to the next. Route 100 to I-89 to I-93, and she followed the signs to Boston. Boston was a good place to be, for now.

Part of Bella felt that she should be enjoying the absolute freedom of her drive. She was on vacation. She had no one to answer to. Had she ever been in that position before? Not since her first days at Forks had Bella really spent extended time on her own.

Carlisle had spent plenty of time alone. And now she was leaving him alone again, if only temporarily—and not really _alone_. Bella didn't have to try hard to hear Emmett's screams.

Emmett. That's what Alice had said his name was. Bella wondered if he had family and friends who were wondering where he was. If somewhere in Maine a missing person report was being filed. What was Emmett leaving behind, now that Rosalie and Carlisle had brought him into the Cullen family?

The sunrise was spectacular, when the road allowed her to see it. It should have lightened Bella's mood, but it didn't. However, the sudden prisms on her dashboard startled her. Where were they coming from? Watching the road, Bella carefully felt around with her right hand. She found it behind the rearview mirror. _Someone_–read Alice–had hidden a cheap new age crystal behind there. Bella's hand wrapped around it, and the colored lights disappeared. Bella gave a short tug, and tossed the stone to the floor of the passenger seat.

_Thanks a lot, Alice_, Bella thought, put out by the minor manipulation. Despite knowing this was exactly what had been intended with the crystal's placement, Bella found herself remembering the road trip west to Middlebury, and the first time she'd seen Carlisle in the sun. How they'd held hands and just looked at each other. God, they'd been falling in love even then, but they'd both been so blind. Blind! Just as Bella was blind to not realize that loving a Cullen involved some darkness. Blind not to realize that Carlisle being a transformed human meant that he _wasn't completely human_. None of them were.

Yet Carlisle was still the best person she'd ever known. Quite possibly the best person she ever _would_ know. And there was no turning away from the fact that she loved him. Irrevocably.

She yearned to turn the car around and go back to him. But she couldn't. Not yet.

Bella didn't want to think about it anymore. She turned on the radio, loud. Was that Elvis?

"_Just running scared, feeling low. Running scared, you love him so._"

Bella changed the station. That most definitely hadn't been Elvis.

"_Devil inside, devil inside, every single one of us the devil inside_."

Another slap of the radio buttons.

"_Can't find a better man_."

She'd tossed the crystal too soon. Bella really wanted to throw something right now. Instead she scrambled through her CDs, pretending she couldn't hear Eddie Vedder telling her she'd be back again. Of course she would be. Bella grabbed Red Hot Chili Peppers. They might be contemporaries of Pearl Jam, but she knew their greatest hits were what she needed right now. Skipping the first track, Bella went straight for the loud noise and kept the volume turned up.

(~*~)

Why, oh why did she decide Boston would be a good idea? This was worse than when she was learning to drive in Phoenix. This was worse than Phoenix, period. Overcrowded, sudden street changes, one-way streets, cars cutting people off. Ahhhhh!

Eventually, Bella found her way to a parking lot in the thick of things and walked to the nearest coffee shop. It had been almost a full day since she'd eaten anything, and she was starving. The place was bustling. If it wasn't the height of breakfast hour, then it was damn near close enough. Food was nearby, and Bella didn't hesitate until she had some, ordered and paid for, in her hands.

Bella looked around, hoping to see an empty table perhaps further in. The café was deceptively crowded. Each time a person shifted she'd discover that a spot that looked free actually wasn't. Making another scan, Bella considered where else she could go with her food that was nearby. Her gaze got caught by a young woman who was looking straight at her. When the girl realized she'd managed to catch Bella's attention, she waved her over, gesturing to the empty seats next to her.

Bella made her way over to the four-top. The young woman who had invited her was dirty blonde, and had a friendly, open gaze. Across from her was another young woman, also blonde, her body twisted so that she could see Bella better as she approached.

"Hi," the first young woman said. "We have an open seat." She indicated the spot next to her friend.

After the friend gave her an encouraging smile, Bella took the seat. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. I'm Bea," the first girl continued. "And this is my friend Helen. My boyfriend's just gone to get us new drinks," she added, explaining the 4th seat, which had a coat and scarf strewn on it.

"Bella," Bella responded, and took a sip of her coffee. "Are you two college students?"

"Yeah, we go to Northeastern," Helen answered. "You?"

"I'm on Spring Break, pausing in Boston for a while."

"On your way to where?" Helen asked just as Bea spoke.

"Are you traveling alone?"

Despite normal precautions when dealing with strangers suggesting to Bella that it would probably be better not to reveal she was on her own, answering Bea's question was easier than answering Helen's. Bella still wasn't sure where she was going.

"Solo road trip," she answered with a shrug. "Just want to feel my independence, explore a bit."

"I can understand that," Helen grinned. "There are times I wish I could ditch this one." She pointed with her thumb at Bea.

"Hey, be nice. You like having me as a hip accessory, and you know it. Bella, if you don't have any particular plans, and don't mind some company, you would be welcome to join us. Let Helen, Li and I show you around Boston a bit."

Bella smiled. She liked this girl, and on impulse Bella decided to agree. "That sounds nice, thank you. What were you planning on?"

"Ever been to Faneuil Hall?"

When Bella answered in the negative, Helen and Bea gushed about the possibilities, the things to see and buy, and made Bella laugh more than once.

"Here we are, ladies." A college guy came to the table and set drinks down in front of Helen and Bea. For some reason, when Bella had heard the name Li, she was picturing a guy of Asian descent. Bea's boyfriend, however, seemed to be your average sandy-haired American. He had an upward-turning chin, and the feature reminded her of someone, but it was vague.

"Who's this?" Li asked, turning to give her a friendly smile. And then his smile faltered. "Bella."

Bella met his gaze, startled. How did he know her? Li… "Liam!" she exclaimed, her eyes wide.

"How-how are you?"

Bella couldn't answer. She was suddenly transported to freshman year, her first college party, and the surrealistic moment when she'd spotted the guy currently standing across from her slipping a roofie into her drink.

By the Monday following Matt and Ramesh's party Liam had disappeared from campus. Bella hadn't pressed charges because he hadn't been there to press charges against.

Liam looked different now—a little older, face thinner, lines near his eyes, and he was more muscular than she remembered.

Helen and Bea had been friendly, and Bea seemed very sweet. How was she supposed to tell her that the last time she'd seen her boyfriend he'd been getting dragged out of a party after having been caught trying to use a date rape drug? Bella stood up, the back of her legs pushing her chair out behind her. She didn't know what to say, but making a quick exit seemed to be the best thing.

"You two know each other?" Helen stated the obvious.

"Wait, Bella?" Bea was looking between her boyfriend and Bella, before settling her gaze on the latter. "_Vermont_ Bella?"

Bella was startled all over again. "How…?" she started to ask then clicked her mouth shut.

Helen let out a low whistle. Bea stretched her right hand out to Bella, her left going out to Liam, who stood across from Bella, never having sat down.

"It's OK. I realize that you've both just had a bit of a surprise, especially you, Bella. Please, sit down. It's OK."

"Actually, I think I should go," Bella answered.

"No, don't," Liam said in a rush, as if he needed to get the words out before she disappeared. "Please."

"Please, Bella," Bea tried again.

Bella hesitated. Liam took this as his chance to sit down, which he did slowly, never taking his eyes off Bella. His right hand immediately joined on the table with Bea's left. Their expressions as they looked at her were hopeful and pleading. Helen remained silent, and she took a sip of her drink, not making eye contact with anyone, as Bella eased back into her chair. For a split second Bella considered the cups that Liam had just brought, but the sight of Liam and Bea's clasped hands took her focus instead.

"Listen, Bella, I owe you an apology," Liam began. "What I did was terribly wrong, and there is no excuse for it. I know I can't make up for it, but for what it's worth, I _am_ sorry."

"He really does mean it," Bea said when Bella said nothing. "Liam's been through a lot since leaving Vermont, and that's included coming to his senses. He would never, ever, do something like that again, and would jump in if he ever saw someone try." Bea pulled him slightly closer through her grip on his hand, and she smiled at him. "He's a different person now."

"I don't want you to think that I've forgiven myself. Or that I expect you to forgive me. But I do want you to know that I am sorry. And I am grateful for how things turned out that night."

No one said anything.

"I just wanted you to know." Liam looked down.

"Liam, of all the things that have happened in my life, you are the least of my problems." Bella didn't know what made her say that. It just suddenly felt absurd, to be sitting here in Boston with Liam and his girlfriend discussing what he'd tried and quickly failed to do three years ago. He seemed genuine, and there was an obvious connection between him and Bea that said more to her about his different attitude than his apology.

"They beat him up, you know," Bea said softly.

"Bea!" Liam protested.

"What?" Bella was astounded. Matt and Ramesh never told her that. More, she didn't believe they would have done such a thing.

"The lacrosse guys that ejected him from the party after what happened with you. And I don't use the word 'beat' casually. He still can't extend his right arm fully." Bea didn't state this in accusation or with reproach. She was simply matter-of-fact about it.

"Did you stay in touch with anyone from orientation?" Liam interrupted, rushing his words. "Aimee, Matt?"

Since she wasn't any more comfortable with the topic Bea had introduced than Liam was (Goddammit, it was vigilantism on her behalf all over again), Bella accepted Liam's effort at changing it.

"Aimee and Lizbeth are still roommates, but I don't keep up with them much. Anna and Barry live together off campus."

"Cool. What about Matt and his roommate, the drama guy? Rasheesh, Rakesh?"

"Ramesh." Now it was Bella's turn to keep her tone matter-of-fact. "He was hit by a drunk driver 6 months ago. He died."

"Aw, aw shit. I'm sorry."

"The driver's in jail." _And our lives go on_, Bella thought, but did not add.

"Were you still close with Ramesh?" Bea asked gently.

Helen kicked her friend under the table and mouthed _Stop._

Bella smiled, but there wasn't much humor in it. "Are you studying social services, Bea?"

"Psychology."

"She's … a wonder," Liam said. He put his arm behind his girlfriend's chair, his hand on her back. They smiled at each other. It was almost an exact copy of the smile that Maggie and Esme tended to share.

Bella wondered how long Liam and Bea had been together, and whether Bea hadn't been partially responsible for Liam's new attitude. Personal boundaries seemed to be somewhat off the table with this group, but Bella decided not to ask. However they'd met, however long they'd been together, it was clear that their affection was real. Bea was more than likely good for Liam.

Bella looked down and rubbed her lips together. They were nice girls, but she didn't want to stick around anymore. As she ate her meal, Bella wondered how to best extricate herself. It was probably best just to say goodbye when she was done eating.

Helen engaged her in some small talk, and the next few moments were filled with a little bit of chatter. Bea leaned into Liam for a kiss, and Bella looked elsewhere around the café.

When her gaze landed on someone else she knew, she grumbled aloud. "You have got to be kidding me."

Standing in the line of people waiting to order food was a pale-skinned young man with his fingers stuffed into the front pockets of his denims. His attempt at appearing nonchalant was completely dropped when Bella muttered at him. Realizing he'd been caught, Edward turned and left the line, smiling as he made straight for Bella.

"Bella, great, you're here already."

"Yeah, I'm here," Bella said, more than a little nonplussed. What the hell was Edward doing here? If Rosalie had been in Maine last night, then it was likely Edward had been as well. Far more likely, at least, than that he'd already been in Boston looking for breakfast in a crowded coffee shop. Was he following her? Had he been on her trail since Vermont? Did Alice call him and send him after her? How else would he have known to be here?

Didn't they realize that she was trying to get away from vampires for a few days? Now one of them just shows up—sent, in all likelihood, by yet another. _Give me a break! I'm taking a break, during bloody Spring Break, because I need one! So why can't you all just leave me alone for goodness sake!_

"Were you supposed to meet someone?" Helen asked Bella, confused.

"Yeah, me," Edward answered Helen, causing Bella's eyes to narrow at the lie. "I'm Edward."

Bea was watching Bella's face closely. It was quite clear that she hadn't forgotten Bella was traveling alone and, unlike Helen, wasn't giving Edward's sudden appearance the benefit of the doubt.

Bella wasn't sure where to go next. Cover his lie or stonewall him. She really wanted to know why he was there. It suddenly occurred to her that something new may have come up back home, something wrong, and she paled.

Helen was introducing herself to Edward, but Bea's voice cut in. "And I'm Bea, and this is my boyfriend Liam. He's a body trainer, and _you_ are full of shit."

Edward raised his eyebrows at Bea in an expression of surprise. Liam also looked taken aback at first, and then he tensed as though suddenly on alert.

"Bella's already told us that she's alone, and she doesn't look too happy to see you," Bea continued.

"Perhaps," Edward agreed, still behaving congenially. But then he grasped Bella's right hand and held it in his while never looking away from Bea and Liam. "Bella and I have something to discuss, however." He looked down at her. "You ready?"

Bella jerked her hand back, reacting to Edward's oddly possessive behavior. "What's going on?" It reminded her of the days when she first met him, and she didn't like it. "Is everything OK?"

Liam had stood up, his stance very aggressive. "Bella, you don't have to go anywhere with this guy," he said with certainty… and unexpected kindness.

From Bella's left, Helen placed a hand on her shoulder, both giving comfort and showing concern. The situation was starting to get out of control, and Bella realized that she was partially to blame for reacting to Edward so negatively and not being more assertive sooner.

"It's OK, guys. Really. Liam, please sit down." Liam looked at her, analyzing her expression before doing as she asked. Bella was relieved, though at the same time Liam's behavior genuinely surprised her. Clearly, he was not the same guy she'd briefly known freshman year. He was not behaving in a way she'd have expected him to, based on her memories from years ago.

"Edward," Bella turned to him. Thankfully he was more relaxed now and less like creepy Edward. "Have you heard from the family?"

"Yes, which is why I'd like to talk."

"Alright." Bella nodded and started gathering her trash. "Uh, thanks. It was nice to meet you," she addressed the three others at the table.

"Bella, is everything fine?" Bea asked earnestly.

"Yeah, Edward is like my adoptive brother. It's a family thing."

"Oh. OK." Bea looked relieved and Liam relaxed.

Bella looked between the two of them. "Good luck," she said. "Bye, Helen."

"Good-bye," they all said back to her.

As Bella moved away Edward inclined his head formally. "Helen, Liam, Beatrice." And then he was in step with her.

"What the hell was that all about?" she asked him as they exited the coffee shop. "Are you OK? Where were you last night? Is everything OK back home? Did Alice send you?"

Edward laughed, securing the hood he'd brought up around his head to hide his face. "Slow down. Let's go get your car."

Unfortunately, due to the sun and the limited protection Edward's hoodie provided, they weren't going to be walking anywhere. It didn't take anything more than Edward offering for Bella to allow him behind the wheel of her car. She was afraid she'd hit someone if she was let loose on the Boston streets again. As Edward was already familiar with Boston, it seemed prudent to let him drive.

Once on the road, Edward began answering her questions in reverse. "Yes, Alice called me. Everything is almost as OK back in Middlebury as it could possibly be, given the circumstances. Rosalie and I were not hunting together last night. Yes, I'm fine, thank you for asking, although my life also just completely changed. As for what the hell that was back there—what do you think?"

Bella winced and gripped her thigh, watching the traffic as Edward wove through it, changing lanes. "What do you mean _almost_? How has your life changed? And I don't know what to think about your behavior and what just happened. Other than that I'm grateful it's unlikely I will ever see any of those people again."

"I can't say I blame you, though they are all good people…essentially."

"I saw that for myself. Why were you acting like a jerk?"

"Tell me, Bella, were all three of them always good people?"

Bella turned her head and narrowed her eyes at Edward. "You're asking about Liam. No he wasn't… I don't know." Then her eyes widened. "Is that why you were acting the way you were? To provoke Liam?"

"Right in one."

It was nearly automatic for Bella to ask Edward what Liam had ever done to him, but then she thought better of it. It was more about what Liam had done to her. Still, what was the point in provoking him?

"Why did you want to do that?"

"Redemption."

Bella shook her head. "Since when do you care about redemption?"

Edward slowed the car down for pedestrians by hitting the break a little roughly. Bella's body weaved slightly forward and back again in reaction to the slightly abrupt cessation of movement.

"I have always cared." Edward spoke through gritted teeth.

They were quiet until Edward was able to move forward again. Bella had been waiting for Edward to speak. She could have asked more questions, or pressed for answers to those she already asked, but she knew Edward would say what he wanted to say when he was ready.

"Your guy Liam…his girlfriend is right to be proud of him."

"He's really made a new man of himself, hasn't he?"

"Even if remorse were the only indication, I'd agree. But he's got more than that in his head—determination, good will, and not in the least, the love he has for his Beatrice. It's amazing, really, the power of love."

Once again, Bella didn't know how to react to Edward. Was he just talking about Liam—or was he trying to drop a hint to her about Carlisle? Had he seen a lot of the power of love in his decades-long quest of vigilantism?

"What did Alice call you about? What's wrong at home?"

"Other than your departure and a screaming, transitioning newborn?"

"Well, yes."

"Bella, no one is happy that you had to leave. Apart from the obvious fact that you mean a great deal to each of us, no one wants to see Carlisle that miserable again. That's what you're really asking for, isn't it? How is Carlisle doing, is he sitting at home unhappy while you're in Boston making new friends?"

"Hey, don't get snarky with me. I would rather have been waking up in bed with Carlisle this morning than in Boston navigating my way through one-ways and crazy pedestrians playing chicken!"

"Ah… so that was what was going on last night. I could tell Alice was talking around something, but it was hard to determine what exactly over the phone."

Bella blushed. "Mind your own business."

"I am. We were talking about love, were we not? Even without Alice's help, we can all guess what's likely to happen after Emmett wakes up."

"Love?" Bella frowned at him. "You mean Rosalie?"

"I imagine after some time her mind is going to have something in common with Liam's."

Bella paused to consider this. Emmett wasn't just going to be part of the family. He was going to be Rosalie's mate. The parallel to her own situation as "part of the family" was more than a little unsettling. Yet if Rosalie was going to be sticking around Middlebury for a while to be with Emmett, then no wonder Edward said that his life had just changed. She wasn't going to be hovering over him, manipulating him through his guilt anymore. Edward wasn't going to be hovering over her, trying to keep her PTSD contained. Rosalie had a potential mate, and no longer had a need for a partner. Bella fervently hoped that the new vampire didn't become a new vigilante as well.

"Where does that leave you?" Bella asked.

"Going back to Portland to check on a drug addict first."

"Portland?"

"Portland, Maine," Edward clarified.

"Oh. And after that?"

"Wait for my turn to find love? Perhaps I'll move back in, transfer into the college. What's your area of study again?"

"Be serious, please."

"I don't know my options, Bella." Edward gave a sigh. "But I don't think I'm likely to carry on as before. I've been tired, metaphorically speaking, for a while now. And as coming across the college boy from your past has reminded me, I don't need to try to be present for everything. Good things can happen without my interference.

"And I miss Carlisle. I'd like to come home."

Bella breathed in a little quickly, and her heart swelled. "Edward, you have no idea how happy it would make Carlisle to hear you say that."

_Actually,_ Bella thought, _he probably does_. Bella read the road sign they passed without thinking about it, and then did a double blink. "What? Wait, what? Did that sign just say Logan Airport?"

Edward was smirking. "You did ask what Alice called me about."

"Why have you driven me to the airport?"

"Prepaid parking on the Cullen account. There's an empty spot waiting to be filled. It'd be a shame to waste it."

"Edward!" Bella's voice was shrill.

"Shh. I'm trying to pay attention to where I'm driving. I don't want to take the wrong turn."

Bella crossed her arms with a huff, but remained silent otherwise. It might have been humorous, and she tried to pass the noise off as sisterly teasing, but her spine prickled. _Vampire, danger_, the prickly feeling was saying.

Edward was indeed kidding about an empty Cullen slot in one of the airport's parking garages, but he nevertheless slid a parking area for departures and paid for five days.

"And where are you going to be taking me for five days, exactly?" Bella huffed again as she grabbed her back and Edward locked the car.

Edward tossed her the keys.

"I'm not flying anywhere. I appreciate the invitation, though. Another time perhaps." He turned and started walking.

"Will you just answer me, please." Bella chased after him.

Once inside, Edward examined the ticket that was miraculously in his hand. Pulled from _where_ exactly, Bella had no idea.

"Hmm. Yep. Delta Airlines Flight 9238 to Seattle departs from Gate A21 in 48 minutes."

"Seattle! 48 Minutes! That's barely enough time."

Seattle… Washington… Forks. She could go see Charlie. Bella inhaled through her nose and exhaled through her mouth, her insides loosening. Her dad, who understood her life better than anyone. Who was probably the one person in the world she could tell what was going on, what had happened with Rosalie and Emmett and Carlisle last night. Someone she didn't have to feel guilty telling that she got scared. That she still was. Charlie, with his quiet humor, minimal conversation, and unconditional love in his eyes. Charlie, who had hugged her so tight at Christmas.

Edward gestured to her bag. "You have everything you need. Everything else has been paid for. You'll be fine."

It was Edward's comment about everything already being paid for that took Bella out of her thoughts.

"Paid for, huh? And how am I supposed to pay you back or am I just supposed to accept with grace? This is my life. What the hell? You and Alice can't just tell me what I'm going to do before I decide to do it!"

Bella shoved a hand against his chest. Edward stepped back as though she had actually pushed him. It felt good. So she did it again.

"My life, my love. You can't just use your abilities and suddenly change what's making me happy. Carrying people, hurting people, seeing people, hearing people. Are we all subject to what _you_ want, what _you _decide?"

She was in his face now, both hands pushing against his chest, though he wasn't moving.

"You can't _treat_ _us _that way. We want to be happy. We want to be together. And I can't… I can't…"

Edward was quiet, even when she made her hands into fists and slowly hit them against his chest. Bella closed her eyes tightly, her face strained. Her hands ceased and went still on his chest. Her head rested against them, knuckles pressing into her brow. "You can't make my decisions for me," she whispered.

Edward's hands came up to rest on her shoulders. He kept them there for a moment, offering comfort, before easing her back to look in her eyes. "So what do you want to do?"

Bella glared, angry with him and angry with herself. "I want to see Charlie." Her answer was defiant.

"Then I think you should go see Charlie." Edward grinned. "I guess that puts you in a tough spot, though, considering that you're over three thousand miles away and you need to be back at college by next Monday. Hmm… if only there were someone who cares about you and is willing to help you go see your father."

Bella snorted at him, only to be immediately embraced.

"Despite what's happened you are still a part of the family, Bella. You are a part of our lives, and we're a part of yours. Don't be afraid of that." And then he whispered in her ear. "Besides, Alice would never have been able to see you visiting Charlie if somewhere deep inside you hadn't already decided that you wanted to. Don't be angry because we know you."

Bella hugged Edward back, far too many emotions roiling in her.

After a moment, Edward drew away. "Have a good trip. And remember: we all love you." He placed a quick, chaste kiss on her cheek.

"Good-bye," Bella said. "Will you tell Carlisle that I love him?"

"I will." Edward nodded. "He knows without me telling him."

"It's good to hear it."

"Then maybe you should call him. Soon." Edward was studying her face. "He loves you, too, Bella."

She smiled. "I know."

* * *

**A/N: A couple plausibility things: 1) While Roy Orbison's "Running Scared" was planned, I actually heard INXS's "Devil Inside" followed by Pearl Jam's "Better Man" on the radio, and felt compelled to add those songs to Bella's radio angst. 2) According to a Middlebury alum I know, it was nearly guaranteed to run into someone you knew from the college while touring in Boston.**

**Thanks to AllThe OtherNamesAreUsed for fitting in a beta session around her Thanksgiving holiday.**

**Next chapter: Charlie…**


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